Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 448 - BROS BUY AN ICE CREAM TRUCK

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Today the bros decide to buy an ice cream truck and get in the business of slingin sweet treats. The profit margins are huge. JT brings up how paperwork is ruining modern LIFE and Chad reacts to the latest Anti-Sunscreen movement. Then we dive deep into the World Cup, its been an amazing boost of stoke to our country so we gotta salute. Chad also talks about how his dog's dumps have been bringing him more confidence. Drop a comment with the business idea you'd actually start with your bros and why. THIS IS A CLASSIC GOING DEEP EP - JABWOW!!! We are live streaming a fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeepGrab some dank merch here: https://appreeshapparel.com/Come see us on Tour! JT JUST ADDED HEADLINE DATES FOR THE FALL!Get your tix - https://www.chadandjt.comTEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice)Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/Thanks to our Sponsors:HomeChef: The Best Meal Kits! Go to https://www.homechef.com/godeep and get 50% off your first box + free dessert.HIMS: The Best Hair Loss solutions. Go to https://www.hims.com/godeep and get started today with an online consult with a professional.PRODUCTION & EDITS BY: Jake RohretSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's repeat Give it to me now Nice and slow I'm on top Write it like you in the rodeo We are transmitting live From the SoCal region Of Southern California

The most popular podcast in SoCal Going Deep with Chad JT, I am Chad This is my compad Cappadre Jean-Thomas Boom clap stokers

And we are coming to you live From Jake's apartment What up Jake's apartment Um Dude Middle of the summer Feeling good How's your popsicle count coming along

I'm pretty solid dude I've had zero But I'm feeling optimistic about August That's kind of like That's kind of when I do the ice cream truck August All right Yeah the heat starts coming in

Um I hit up Mr. Frosty I'm like dude come on down And he's like where are your kids I'm like it's just Me player. Do you think he's surprised because you're a little more senior than the other Popsicle buyers?

At first, yeah. He was like, this is kind of weird, bro. And I'm like, can you just give me my chocolate malt and fuck off? How about the time it is. Yeah, that's where we were at.

Is that a good gig driving the ice cream truck? Dude, good question. We should get an ice cream truck driver on here. We should start an ice cream truck. Dude, I would love that. Yeah, is that something we could do? I mean, if we can't, I'm super down.

Like, uh, stoke ice, that's not it. Stoke cream? Stoke cream. Uh, it sounds maybe a little bit. It sounds weird. Maybe like something Kevin would name. Yes. Stoke ice sounds like slushies kind of.

I mean, stoke, Stoke cream would work if cream wasn't synonymous with jizz. Maybe we're the only ones you think that. It's worth an experiment. The cream is one of those words like moist where you instantly get into like, you're like, this is too intimate and too viscous just on sound. What's the one on sweet tooth? That's, um, that's a good name.

That's from twisted metal. Is that right? Mm-hmm. Let's do that. Sweet tooth. Sweet tooth. Do we just recreate the sweet tooth? I mean, that's probably, yeah.

We could pivot enough where they couldn't sue us. Yeah. But like people will know. Dude, I'd be so stoked to have an ice cream truck. Just like we did with the In-N-Out logo. Which we didn't do. That was satire. Dude, it had like, you know, Sweet Tooth had like the ball on top.

We had the ball except it to be this. I'm down to run an ice cream truck with you. That'd be a really fun gig. And we just drive around and give ice cream to kids. Yeah. I love it. Jack, Jake, can you chat GPT like, is is starting an ice cream truck of viable biz?

Yeah, and how much capital do we need to get that thing rolling? Because I only got a couple G in the bank, but like I'll kill one of my parents if it's a good business. I'm not going to kill them for nothing. Yeah, we've talked about this. Oh, dude. Oh, high margins.

The profit margins are solid. Downsides, winter can be brutally slow. Not in L.A., baby. Not in L.A., bro. It's hot. It's getting hotter. Yeah, dude, global warming is our friend. Dude, health permits, I'm out. Business license, not doing that.

Insurance, no thank you. How about you just let me have an ice cream truck? Indeed. Does that sound entitled? I don't mean that in that way. Like, I would work hard for it. I just mean like, why do I got to fill all this stuff out? Well, the hardest part would be like making a shitload of money

because ice cream's not that expensive, right? Like, you'd be like... The volume you'd have to do at $4 a rip for a stick. Even like it says right here, 120 customers, average sale price, $5, you only make $600. Yeah. $600, let's go.

I mean, that's good, but how are you going to pay off the truck? That's more money than I have right now, dude. But dude, here's the big ish. Well, there's two. First off, per chat, GPT, kids aren't just cruising around neighborhoods like they used to be. Wow, that's so true. Kids aren't as free range as they used to be.

And two, I hope I don't get kind of, you know, you discuss this a few episodes back and I don't want to get put in the category as the guy at the gym, but what about like the kind of, oh, you run a nice cream truck, you're a molester thing? That's huge. I mean, if it turns out, I mean, I think we just got to get our ass whipped a couple of times and just take it on the chin like a good molester would. But even though we're not. Should we be outright with the name of it? Like we're not molesters ice cream. No touch your kid's ice cream.

We don't. Yeah. No grope. Or maybe we just, the uniform is just soft serve. The uniform is Kill the Malester sweaters. Perfect. Well, we'll wear our kill the molester sweaters. Everybody will know are good dudes.

I'm in on this biz, dude. Pessimists sound smart, optimists make money. Let's do it. Dude, and here's the thing. We get like a piece in the LA Times. And, you know, it's like ice cream trucks are coming back and we're on the front of it with our kilnolmolester sweaters. Sending a good message to the pub. Dude, that fires me up.

Yeah, starting ice cream. That sounds so fun. That's what makes America cool. Yes. You're like, dude, I'll just start an ice cream truck. I don't think you can do that in other places. No. The tough part is execuish, but America is more about thinking about your idea than executing on it.

There's not a better place on earth to just ideate on possibility. Yeah, on business ideas, you know, throw some, you know, throw some bruskees in the mix. Dude, thinking about the potential of your biz, the profit margins of your biz, I mean, like, dude, if this takes off, we, We're going to own Lanai. Dude, the jargonist says, dude, yes. Is it Larry Ellison that owns Lanai right now? Yeah, we're going to take, we're going to ice cream track empire. Let's take it back from that bitch, dude.

Yeah. Fuck you. Give me that island back. Why the fuck do you have an island dog? Yeah, right? Why do I not have an island? How about you get grapple wrestled, bro? Oh, man.

Pin you. I had something on this. Remember when owning an island was like a dragon. and like it was cool, right? Like, these billionaires kind of fucked it for like the regular guy. Like when I was a kid, I was like, I want an island, you know? Like, I want to own an island and I want to do cool shit. I want a jet ski and shit.

Now it sounds dirty, nefarious, perverted. Yeah, you say you want to own an island. People automatically think you want to do weird shit. Right. But why else would you own an island? Yeah, what would you do there? If I, if I, if I bought an island, I'd be drilling my own asshole on it. I don't think anyone would think that was a bad.

thing though if you're just doing your own asshole that's like relatively wholesome by island standards yeah if you're on like an interview on a show you're on like Larry King he's like what what gave you the drive and it's like dude I just wanted a place where I could just drill my own ass I think Larry would say well

it really motivated you to great success yeah and he's like but dude you could have literally just done that in your B room yeah you got a garage take advantage yeah in your garage yeah what would you do on an island that's weird what would I do?

Um I think I'd work out I get super shredded Why is that so funny You bought an island Just get ripped Just I think it would be cool You just have an island

doll to yourself Yeah just work out and relax You're just doing deadlifts You just have a platform You're surrounded by palm trees I was like what do you do on your island i just fucking work out just get a fucking cut get tan guys we're gonna be on the road this month we're gonna be in new orleans this friday july 17th at the howlin wolf we're gonna be

in mobile alabama at the crescent theater july 18th then we're gonna be i've got my stoke seminar in san diego on the 22nd then we've got irvine improv on the 23rd then we've got Dallas the 24th fort worth the 25th jt also dropped some dates in october go see JT's headlining Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, San Diego, and Austin. Get your tickets at chat and JT.com. We also have other dates too. So check for the fall. Check it out.

ChattingjT.com. Dude, are you psyched that Gen Z is anti-sonscreen and that like tan maxing has become the norm? I am psyched on it, dude. Yeah. I I mean forgive my naivete I mean that's kind of been my M.O for the past 10 years but is Gen Z like on board with this?

So Gen Z like the TikTokification the TikTok has gone critical mass where they're like putting out videos all the time like I'm getting a deep burn no sunscreen this summer is all about just like putting that bronze on And I similarly as like an older millennial, I'm like, dude, I've been doing that since like 15 just every day in the sun. But I've also suffered the consequences of it. Like I grew up in a very sunscreen forward kind of time period.

And I was never into it because I'm like, well, I'm half Latin. I'll be chill. But dude, I think my pores are bigger because of it. I think I have some pigmentation discoloration. And I'm like, I don't know. I think if I could go back like, I hate to be the old timer preaching caution. but I almost think I probably would have wore more sunscreen, dude. Like maybe it was worth it to have the sick bronze all those years.

But I could have played it a little bit smarter. Dude, I mean, that's something I've gone through in my maturity because, you know, as we were growing up, it was very sun, like, as you said, very sunscreen forward. Coppertone was the big dog, like, copper tone owned islands. And so my dad was just lathering me up in Loche, Nutrijina. just nonstopping. And he's a doctor. He's coming from that, you know, that school,

which is all about like protect, prevent. Yeah. And it's like. But aesthetics were not heavy on their factoring. Aesthetics were not a thing. He was like, you know, he's, I'd be just in Neutrogena wearing a helmet. I'm like, what is this for? He's like protection.

I'm like, dad, I'm trying to make out with chicks. Right. You can't make out with a chick wearing a helmet. does it prevent catastrophic brain injury potentially but does not make it out with chicks cause catastrophic brain injury

more likely yes so that was like my trauma is like my whole childhood was just loach you just ladder me up with loach and I'd try to sneak out of the house and you know you'd have like an alarm system set up and he'd go off and he's like

did you put on lotion I'm like how am I going to bronch you know but and a lot of it could be genetic you have really great skin now oh dude preach and do you think that's because your dad took those steps i never thought about it that way dude thank you dad like my pores are enlarged and my brothers look fine and he didn't get as much sun as me and then i have surfer eye too did your brother use loch he just wasn't out in the sun as much. Interesting.

And then I got the surfer eye as well. So like I have pretty eyes, but now they have like a white dot on them for me just taking on too much sun. Interesting. And I'm like, you know, everything has a cost. But dude, I think you look rugged. Thank you. And masculine.

You know, I've been thinking about this as I've actually, I've, you know, I've gotten more into Loche these past, you know, I had a period where I was super anti-loche than now I'm into Loche. Right. Which I think is a natural progression. Yeah. And, you know, because at first I was like, I'm a man, I don't need to be Dewey. Right.

And no one ever taught us how to apply. Like, we'll inject, we'll ingest. But we're not going to apply. That's for chicks. Exactly. Yeah. Apply. Yeah.

And so, but then I was thinking about, too, like people are like, you don't want your skin to age. But look at like the Marlboro, man. Look at John Wayne. For sure. I, you know, I think there's like a kind of intersection, though, between like what your bone structure is and what you. can get away with complexion-wise.

Like, I think John Wayne has such a solid juggernaut head that a little beat-up skin actually kind of matched well with it. But for me, I need that collagen. Right. That's going to be pivotal. And I don't want to fixate too much on aesthetics because I also think that's just a kind of navel gazing that robs you from the moment and from deeper intellectual pursuits.

But I will say that I think it's, something you have to take into account when projecting how you're going to look and how it's going to fit in. Dude, I love that. And you know what, dude? If it becomes that much of an ish, let's go find some salmon, jack them off, apply it to your face. Bro, salmon jizz is it. And I'll put any jizz on my face that's good for me.

And even some that's not. Dude, I'd devote a whole month to just jacking off salmon so we can get your skin back. If that's a job, I'll do that too. Yeah. I like working with my hands. Dude, yeah, maybe that's what we should do. We should start getting sandwiches. Better than being an actuary.

Yeah, I'm real hard up on this right now. I had a tough week last week, like paperwork-wise. Like I was getting trouble, getting paid by some of the people we work for, you know, like SAG or ATC or whatever, all reputable organizations. But there's just friction and delivery sometimes. And then my car went kapiti on me and I was having trouble. we'll find in the title. It's all stuff that's my fault. To a degree.

Oh, and then SoCal gas. They owe me their rebate for going tankless on my water heater. And I called them up and I was like, where's this thing out? They're like, oh, we had a snafu sending it out. We had the wrong emails. So we flagged it. And it went to your wife instead of you. And I'm like, oh, dude.

I should have just got those bones when I bought the thing. But here's my thing. All this, this paperwork fiefdom that we live in, where the quality of your life is dictated by how good you are at filling out forms, sending those forms, keeping those forms. That's just not me. Like I got ADD. I'm a little bit bipolar. I want to be in the moment.

I want to be here connecting with you, with you, with the people listening. But I just don't feel like that's valued as much is how good you are at keeping your doc you sign and your Google drive. and you're at home filing and cabinet organized. Like that is the number one predictor for how many vacations you can go on. And I just, I don't know. I feel like I know to run a complex society with a billion of us running around through all these institutions you need that. But does that feel like living to you?

No. No. And the people who are going to be good at that, I respect the shit out of it. No disrespect to them. that's awesome that you can do that and that you got that executive function and you can let go of hedonism and like immediate

you know and more fun stuff but like come on man where's the living at and how do we how do we capitalize on that well dude here's what's happening this is the man

this is the man putting a lid on human potential he's like you guys aren't going to reach your potential because you can't do that because they'll get too powerful and you'll overtake me. You'll take my island that I'm drilling my own asshole on. So they bog us down in paperwork. They bog us down.

All kinds of stuff. That's how they keep levels between them and us. Yeah, because we can't, then you can't access your creativity because you're like, oh, what about Excel? Dude, and it's hanging in the back of your head. Yeah. Like you're like, dude, I'd like to do this thing. I think it'd be cool. And then you're like, but what about this?

have you figured out that paperwork situation yet? Have you called the insurance company? Have you talked through it for the 42nd time? It's just gnawing at you all day eating at you. You know what? I think I think we should take this to the council. I think we should make paperwork illegal. That's what I want to do.

Paperwork illegal, one password for every person. It's on your end, dude. Don't put it on the customer. You guys need to have like better data encryption and whatnot or security protections. and then one password, no paperwork, and like, you just take the taxes out. Yeah. I don't want to have to follow up with you and do all this shit, man.

Mm-hmm. I feel the same way about money. Like, once I start, like, feeling like I'm all right with money, then it's like car registration, doctor's visits, vacations. Like, it all pops up right when you actually start, like, feeling okay. Something always and they charge you faster than they pay you every time. Oh, yeah. Like when you're got to get charged for something, they're like, you need to pay me today.

But when I got to get paid for something, they're like, it'll come in two months. Yeah. Do you see the fucking discrepancy here? I know. And then, dude, you know what? Advocating for yourself is hard too. Yeah. Like when someone like, you know, is a little lazy on delivering the check and you got to be like, hey man, I need that check.

And they're shaming it too. Like you're like, I need the money, man. Yeah. They're like, they like, and everyone does it to everyone. I'm guilty of it too. Yeah. But we all kind of like put the onus on the person who needs the thing. Yeah.

Which is not, not how God intended it. That's why I need the mafia back. Yeah, dude. I feel like they were cool. Because they actually, they would take a, if someone's late on a payment, they'll take a bat to your face. And, you know, you can do that. through like, you know, lawyers nowadays, but what even is that?

Look at Justin Baldoni and Blake lively. What are they even doing? I wish he could have just put hands on her. Yeah. Shut up, bitch. Just slapped her. I'm joking. Then we...

I'm joking. But you guys get what I'm saying. Yeah, obviously. And he would never do that. He seems like a very thoughtful, enlightened guy. But where did that get him? Yeah. I mean, or just give him...

Sorry, I took your point way far from where you were at. No, no, but like maybe let Baldoni like drill his own asshole. on an island. I don't know. He needs it. He's been on the pressure cooker. Yeah, just spare us from all the articles. I don't need more updates. I don't need to know. No, even when he popped up again and he's like, I have so much to say, but I can't say it right now. I'm like, I think just the next movie. Yeah. Because I liked it ends with us. I did too. I thought it was good. I thought it was effective. Yeah. I mean, I watched it with

Kennedy. We enjoyed it. Dude, and also, you know, I think this, maybe it pertains to the no paperwork thing. It's like, you know, the way we should, you know, I saw this meme that's like, you're in her DMs. I'm in, you're in her DMs, I'm in her septic tank. We are not the same. Whoa. It's like, you got to get in the septic tank. I like that raw primal.

Yeah. Let's feel it. Let's hear it. Let's smell it. I want that kind of experience. Yeah. Yeah. Not texting, not being on your phone, being like, let's try to make a connection.

Like, no, I am in the, I am deep in the, in the, in the, in the, in the bosom. It's crazy that a dude who can lock in on emails can literally run the world. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, if you're a fucking beast at emailing and you just know how to like, CC and put other people on it and like just keep track and you've got it filtered on the left with all sorts of different, you know, subsets and miniature groups, like, dude, good for you, bro.

But like, let's just argue about Shaquille O'Neal versus Kobe and see who that one. Dude. Great point. And also, is that even living though? If you're just cranking out emails, you're just sitting out,

you're like the frigging, you're like tank in the matrix, you know, you're plugging people into the matrix, but are you, are you living? No, not at all. Are you in her septic tank?

No. It's the control that's alluring. Yeah. So. And dude, stocks? Preach. The U.S. just minted more millionaires this year than like any other country and any other point in time.

I'm not against that. I like that. Get your money. It was like in the thousands, too. It was like a good. Can you look up how many millionaires got made in the U.S. last year? 441,000. 4141,000 new millionaires.

Wow. Which is great. And I think it's a lot of people's like pensions and stuff like that or, you know, 401Ks or Rothierers, whatever. And it's all in these portfolios, right? Which is great. I'm like so, there was that Costco, dude. You see him? He worked at Costco for like 40 years now.

He's a millionaire. Yeah. That's sick, dude. You know, and he knows how to be a good cashier and they train him good at Costco and that's why it runs well there because they take care of their people. Fucking sick, dude. But dude, making money on stocks? That doesn't feel sick to me.

No. And I'll do it. I'll do it. But like, I'm like, and then you see the companies that are crushing. And you're like, all right, like, maybe I can get in on this SpaceX IPO. Maybe I'll get some Nvidia. You know, maybe I'll get in on one of these tech superpowers. Like, I don't think meta is doing so hot right now.

But, you know, companies and that kind of file them. And then you're like, but dude, these companies are all big bummers. But am I not going to be in on the bummer and get a piece of it so I can do non-bummer stuff with the people I care about? What kind of catch-22 is that, dude? Yeah. That's all we need to run our Kill them, molester, sweater, ice cream truck. That's something I feel good about.

Yeah. We're connected to the means of production. Not to be Carl Marx. I think that guy's a fucking bitch, too. Fucking bitches on every side, dude. Fucking headlock all you pussies. Is that the dude from Mission Bienho? Yeah.

Yeah, that guy sucks. He used to work at 24 hours. He's a dick. He narked. He narked? He narked on people. For real? For what?

Like street racing? He narked on me for getting head in the locker room. No. Yeah. Who was dumbing you up? Dude. Oh my God, bro. You know what?

I don't want to say anything inappropriate. My wife. Damn, bro. That's almost worse. Hold on dog. Yeah, it's my wife. You were getting dumbed up in a locker room? Yeah, by my wife, bro, because she's a legend.

So he, wow. So he knocked on you. My wife never gave me. I've never given me head. Damn, I'm gonna scrub that. I'm sorry, let the,

yeah, yeah, I don't want to get in trouble or, or, is that worse? Yeah, I mean, maybe like,

um, he narked on you, dude. He narked on me for getting ahead from my old lady, dude. I was like,

oh, okay. Probably because I outlifted you, dude, and then you come in the locker and you see I'm living it up on both ends, bro.

I hit a fat double bye when he walked in. My lat spray was crazy. Oh, dude, that's sick. He narked on that, huh? He narked on me, dog. So that's why you go to Equinox instead of crunch? That's why I switched.

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So as you know, football season is coming in hot. Also, we were supposed to have Joe on this episode, but due to the schedule, the scheduling mishap. Unfortunately, we don't have Joe. But I had some questions for Joe. That's why we're kind of just riffing from the hip. I was thinking, I could ask you. Yeah, please.

Yeah, for sure. So you have a massive weiner. Yeah. When did he know it was above average? Yeah. Listen, chat. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's a weird question.

When do you know you have a massive weiner? I guess the first time you have sex with someone. And why, it doesn't fit in the vagina? Yeah. Well, no, no, it fits. It's just, you know, it's what she says. Like, you know, well, you don't know.

But you put it in and then she's like, ah, God, that's a big dick. And, you know, at first you're like, she's just being nice. But then you have sex with a couple of different gals and they all say, oh, God, that's a big dick. And you go, well, I guess it is a huge dick. Wow. What an experience. Yeah, yeah, it's cool. Thank you, Joe.

So dude, football season is upon us. As you know, as an L.A. fan, my job is to root for the team that's winning. Yep. So, you know, last year I vacillated between the Jags, the Rams, and the Seahawks. Obviously, end of the season, I went with the Seahawks. Um, you know, because they won the Super Bowl. So I'm like, I'm a fan of the Seahawks. Stoke to see my team win.

Yep. You're so smart with that. Thanks, dude. Yeah. I think it's a good way to go. Um, I'm wearing some Jags gear right now. But, you know, um, I'm excited to see where this season takes me. So you're a free agent right now.

I'm a free agent. You know, right now I'm rocking Jags gear. We'd be psyched to go, you know, take the Jags to the Shags to the show. I've been a fan for I don't even know how long but I feel good about the Rams this year too so you know they're kind of like I'm just putting this out there guys

you could gain a new fan you just have to win dude what if we put it like this if you're an NFL team you obviously watch the pod you've seen the clips thank you chat is available all right and we'll travel so like i'll cruise but you know i'm part of the posse he get my dog on your

squad start sending him free shit telling him what you guys got to offer yeah you draft players drafts some fans i'm up for grabs baby exactly dude draft some fans i'm down and you bring the clout yeah i'll be a cowboys fan i'll be a bearer fan I'll be a freaking Patriots whatever you guys

want whoever's willing to just pay the big bucks and also win do you watch the cheerleading

show America's sweethearts on Netflix about the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders no I should it's amazing

but dude it gets progressively worse over the seasons because the fans get the fans get too

close and the girls start reading all the Reddits and comments and it just makes them all depressed. Oh, really? And it's a bummer because they're like these beautiful, talented women who like work their butts off don't get paid that much. They're all working like three gigs.

They all seem really sweet. They got great camaraderie. And then you just watch them get sad. So they read like trolls comments? Yeah. Like people would be like, she's ugly. She's average. She doesn't belong on the team.

And then they do like snapshots of like their dancing is incredible. Yeah. But they'll do like snapshots of their formations. These girls aren't even in line. Like this is so sloppy. be like this would not have happened three years ago she shouldn't be on the team she's a fake christian stuff like that wow and then the girls it just gets in their head and like they uh yeah it kind of just fucks them up and it's been a it's happened with a couple other shows where like they find

people who aren't famous they're so lovable then the show makes them famous and then the second season is them just being in their heads about being famous and you're like oh it's not as much fun Yeah, that is something that like We just got to get in their septic tank That's what I mean, dude And they got to get in my septic tank I kept thinking with those girls I was like if you got in my septic tank

You wouldn't be worried about these Reddit comments Exactly dude Like if you're just coming over my house Look in my butt And then practicing your dancing We'd be happy Yeah, exactly That's a closed loop with nothing but goodness

Wow Who? Is that Victoria who? Victoria. So she's like the saddest character from the first season of the Netflix show. Because she only does it because like her mom wants wanted her to do it. And her mom's like tough on her about it. Her mom was a cheerleader. And it's like clearly making her sad. But she keeps chasing it because like she thinks it'll make like everybody love her. And then at the end she's like I'm quitting the team. And then the lady who picks the team is like, well, that's okay because you weren't going to make captain next year. And then she's like, I wasn't going to make captain. Well, maybe I will come back. And they like.

reverse psychology her into chasing it again. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's pretty powerful. It's very relatable. I like shit like that where like it's like a pretty blonde lady who's like in her 20s, but like I guess is why like Love Island's popular. But like what I see from her psychology is something that I've like experienced in myself just in different settings.

I think that's universal. I think it's, you know, it's chasing fame, status, money. whatever um everyone kind of ends up in the same spot to a degree unless they're like deeply rooted in some kind of grounding force like having a family or kids or you got to have your priority straight for sure yeah if that's all you're chasing i think everyone finds that it's empty it's like kind of a and you got to know am i doing it for them or am i doing it for me yeah that's a big thing too is like who's who's got their hand on the wheel yeah it's easy to let outside forces kind of kind of usurp you in your own your own choices yeah but ice cream trucks that's that's that's

that's boo-coo dude we're gonna sell so many freaking ice cream sticks yeah dude getting in my fiancee septic tank that's for me and dude how good is it's definitely not for her i wasn't going to say how good is you go for that no how good is ice cream oh sorry did you want me to say so what did you want me to say no no go you go no i had nothing to say because you got excited like you had a big joyous face and then I said ice cream and you were like you wanted more septic tank well because like it's definitely for me it's definitely not for her like she's kind of like this is kind of weird and I'm just like you know peering out from under like when you're when you're eating butt I'm just in the in the tank yeah I you know what I'm gonna be straight up real with you right now I've experienced that a million

times where you're having a great time sexually and then you look at the other person and it's so clear in their eyes that they're doing it for you and And you're like, you know, I'm still going to do this because I'm grateful for the opportunity. Yeah. But it would be so much cooler if we both loved, if we had a shared passion for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a real thing.

I joke with my lady all the time. I say, when are you going to lick my butt? Yeah. Because I know she's probably not going to. Right. But, you know, there was girls who were willing to. I know that sounds awful, but there was. and I didn't value it that much.

You want to earn it. Yeah, and it just, it wasn't that important to me. No. Like when I was picking who my partner was going to be for life, their willingness and their happiness with doing butt stuff was like so low on the list. I think that's why we're buddies because my, that was like top of my list.

Right. But we can relate to that. That is why we're buddies. Yeah, yeah. The first chick that ever ate my ass is how I feel. found out I had hemorrhoids. Why do you always have the best sex stories? He does this every time.

Jake's a freak. Yeah, remember when we first got like a big dinner with him when we were shooting in Iowa? He's like, I don't even know how you might have brought it up, but you're like, how many threesomes have you guys been in? We were like, what?

Yeah, I think it was just like, I forget, maybe we were talking about Paris or something. And I was like, I've Eifel Tower to Chick. I think that was pretty much what happened there. But this one is more of a bit. Wow. bro

Margarqualee and Jack Antonoff that's a bummer how do you feel about him getting kind of blown to smithereens by the internet because apparently he wanted her to wear flat so she didn't look taller than him in photos is that the big thing that's the big thing

how do I feel about that it really pisses women off like one of our mutual friends message me it was like he's an insecure short fuck and I'm like well maybe he was insecure about it because you're saying stuff like this now yeah right like they're like no he should have just been secure about it and let her like hype mog him and I'm like yeah but maybe he also kind of intuitively understood that you guys would have trashed him for that as well I mean you see that photo there I mean yeah you're gonna get is that real

That can't be real. I, and I'm shorter, and I've dated girls who are taller than me. It's a good question, you know, because it's like, he's aware that short kings are kind of clowned on.

If your girl is taller than you, you're in a photo, you're going to get clowned on. You're going to get clowned on. But at the same time, if you're trying to suppress that, it's still going to get out. You're going to get clowned on for that.

So that's what I mean. It's kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. If you try to prevent her from mocking you, then I think it compounds the eventual mug. How about this though? How about Jack Antonoff's the fucking man? Dude. What does he even do? I don't know.

His music Bleacher's rips. The last album, I don't know. I only heard a couple songs. It sounds like shit, but look, not everybody crushes it every time. Sorry, Jack. But the top, the top bleacher stuff ripped. He's produced Lord Taylor Swift. Wow. I think he did espresso by some. Sabrina Carpenter. Did he really?

Yeah. Oh, this guy's the man. He's the man. He dated Lena Dunham. I just read her book. Honestly, he doesn't sound like that bad of a boyfriend. She goes harder on other people. But the internet's kind of fixated on him.

He had some funny lines in there. Like the first time they went on a date, he, he forgot his wallet. He goes, damn it. And she's like, it's okay. He goes, no, Jackie's girls never pay. I was like, that's a funny thing to say. Yeah. He's a funny guy.

Yeah. He's a banger musician, banger producer. and then he married Margaret Quali. Yeah. And then they're picking on him. Dude, I think, I'm trying to think of, uh, um, there's like a Bill Burb bit where, uh, is the Arnold one? Yeah, the Arnold one.

We just love to tear someone down. What is that? Especially a guy like him, like if it's, if it's a guy like him where you're like, all right, he's not like, he's not like a Brad Pitt. And so he's married to Margaret Quali And you're like You know It feels unfair

To every dude every dude's like Well why does you get to marry Margaret Quali And chicks too They're bashing him as well Yeah They're pissed And they're like oh he must be just an insecure

Little fuck And you know We just want to tear him down It's like Which he probably does have a He probably is insecure Yeah And he is little

But there's a lot to him Otherwise too Yeah I mean if you're If you're a dweeby looking dude And you bag a hot chick people are trying as hard as they can. And then you break up, they're going to be on her side just because she's so hot. And she is gorgeous.

And it's like, okay, he's insecure because he was, the only, he has to be an insecure fuck. And he was controlling her. He was suppressing her from being her true beautiful self. Right. They broke up because he couldn't hang basically. Yeah. Yeah. Which might be true.

But even then, shouldn't we more, I guess it's, like, to me it's like he climbed Everest. Yeah. And then he gets to the top or he comes down and he's like, oh, I lost a toe and we're like, you're a loser for losing a toe. Yeah. And it's like, well, you know, if you climb Everest, you might have to pay a small price for that. Yeah. I mean, he should, I think, I guess he gets to be rich and date another model after this, so he'll be fine. But I think too, there's also like, maybe people just aren't as aware of like what he's done. If he like, directly after the split, he's like, I produced espresso. Like, as soon as I heard that,

I'm, I'd be like, I'd be like, he's not that bad. No, I'd be like, you're a great boon to culture and to life. Like,

my life is better because of you, Jeff. Just put up, like, text, I produce espresso. Yeah, can you look up the top five songs

that Jack Antonovs produced? I mean, if we're really going to get salty on here, I think, I think Quali's overrated. Oh, maybe he didn't do espresso. Oh, he did anti-hero,

but, I mean, dude, he did anti-hero. hero by T. Swift. Let me look it up and make sure he did espresso or out so I'm going to be freaking cooked. He did work with Sabrina Carpenter it looks like. No he did not produce espresso. You know what? Fuck him. He's a bitch. He did her other song. It's not as good. If you're listening to this and you're a dude or a lady, one of the most stressful things you can

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which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality, prescription required, individual results may vary. See website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. Dude, I think we can learn a lot the way, I think we can learn a lot from the way dogs drop a deuce. There's no insecurity, no self-doubt.

The moment comes, they say, this is my time. They squat, look, you score in the eyes, and pinch. That's how top performers do things. Michael Jordan, Lionel Messi, Lewis Hamilton. When they're in flow state, they're like dogs dropping a deuce. No thinking.

just doing. No self doubt. No self, no, no worry about how they're going to be perceived. No, no thinking about how they're going to, you know, let it out. They just, they just squat, pinch, and execute. Beautiful. It's pure. It's pure. No shame. Dude, when my dog, she'll be walking and then she'll be like, then she'll just stop, look at me, and just start dropping a deuce. Just cutting a fat. Love. It's beautiful. Dude, what about how horses take dumps too?

Oh, dude, they just go. They'll be walking and they'll dump. Dude, they can have the hottest chick on them of all time. They don't care at all. Dude, they'll fart. They'll let out a huge fart. And they're kind of like unbothered in a pretty kingly way. Dude, they, yeah, they have like this majestic stride.

Oh, dude, the gate is legendary. And then like a hot chick, let's say you've got Cindy Crawford on him. Bro. And then you just start hearing, duke, duke, dude. Just dropping a deuce. Sometimes you'll be behind a horse and he'll just dump right in front of you.

You're like, that'd be like, you know, one of my kids opening the window on the van and just taking a crap on the five freeway. Yeah. Dude, that'd be like, and also when, when horses take a piss and it's like a, it's like a, it's a hose. Yeah, bro. And then, you know, imagine, imagine,

if you had the confidence to like see let's see you see Marco Robbie you just go up you you just walk up to start taking a deuce and then have just a monster piss right in front of her that's just straight animal alpha need yeah and she's gonna respond to that she'll say she won't because she's been conditioned to think she doesn't like it but once you bypass that lame conditioning and just get into her primal horny that's gonna you're just gonna kickstart that engine up dude. What up, Margo? And you're just dropping a fat dude.

I would love that. If she just walked in on me at like a 7-Eleven when I just did a, you know, hurry up, pull over, I gotta do this. And, you know, she just walks in. I'm just in Carson taking a dump at a 7-Eleven. Margo Robbie pops in. I'm just owning my space. Dude, she opened the door.

You're sweating. I'm just sweating. You're wiping your brow. You're like, oh, I got the one-liter red gator at haven't paid for yet just trying to hide you

and you're like Margo Robbie I'm smoking a cigarette I'm chiefer his cigarette I don't have time.

Don't want to make the car sting yeah no it's the ideal Marco Robbie comes oh god you might want to find

another spot I'm gonna be here a while you're like hey come in stay for a while she's like holy yeah yeah

yeah that's what you should do yeah yeah my bad okay okay I'll be Margot Rau. Yeah, come in.

Knock, knock, knock. Hello, is anyone in here? No, come in. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Yeah, sorry. My wife made Nyoki last night. It's blowing me up.

Trader Joe's. Oh, I'll leave you be. No, stay for a while. Come in here. I'm not embarrassed. You're Margot Rami, huh? Yeah. You're a good actress.

Oh, it looks like you're busy No, I'm not busy Come in here Stay I'd actually like to talk to you Okay It kind of smells in here Yeah, well I'm taking a big dump

I told you That's what shit smells like honey You're a little outside reality for a while What are you working on? Dude, that's how you bagged chicks like Margarna You got to admit You know, there's something there It was hot.

There's something there, dude. It was kind of hot. It was kind of hot, right? Yeah. Yes, I told you to get him out. You got to own it. Oh, that was funny. Dude, how about USA floundering against Belgium?

Oh, yeah. We're out of the World Cup. We look so good in that opening game against Paraguay. The whole country's belief went up. We were making jokes online. Give us friends. grants. It looked like our skill had finally caught up to the rest of the world. And then we just get blasted. Then Lukaku scores that disrespectful goal just to really put it in our face because we did

kind of, you know, use our power to bend the rules for ourselves. And then they all hit the Trump dance in the locker. I mean, we had it coming. And if we would have beat him, we would have stuck it to them good. Yeah. That's just competition. No, no bad blood. I was a little mad afterwards, but, you know, we had it coming. And then, I don't know, this World Cup's been sick, though. It's been sick. I mean, first off, yeah, just to talk about that, I mean, the fact that it was Belgium stung so much more because you're like, what even is Belgium?

Right. I thought it was a chocolate company. And they have their own internal issues there. Yeah. Like the north and the south don't get along and, you know, they're dealing with their own political strife. So nowhere's perfect. Yeah.

Exactly. Now, did they exert that through FIFA? No, but, you know, they might if they could. But, yeah, the World Cup has been, it's taken a hold of the country. I mean, I think it's all, I think the world has always loved soccer, but it's taken a whole of the country. Like, I, before this World Cup, my fiance is like, let's watch soccer. And I'm like, babe, that's like asking me to chop my own dick off. Exactly.

Like, I don't watch soccer. She's like, but I played the sport. I'm like nice It's for chicks She's like I am a chick You're like exactly Exactly

But then we watch it And I was like Oh this is actually really Really sick It's an awesome sport Dude watching France play God damn those boys are good on the ball Olise

He's my favorite player His vision His handling That passing It's just It's extraordinary It's incredible And when they score a goal, it feels like magic because it feels so unattainable.

And some of the goals are just, the execution is just, it can't have happened any other way. And it's dramatic in the stakes. Like, dude, I was pulling hard for Columbia. Our team looked amazing. We just had, we didn't have a good forward to convert the final part, the goal. But like, I know it sounds obvious. But we had like such a good midfield, such a good. good defense. I think they only let up one goal

the whole tourney. And when they lost to Switzerland, I had to take a nap. I was so sad. Compost, one of our guys. He skied one, one, an extra time that would have put us over. I think we could have beat Argentina,

who everyone says FIFA's helping out. Have you seen all that scuttle butt? Oh, I mean. This var, dude. It's obvious, dude. Get rid of var, bro. I don't like that they take goals a way that happened like on the other side of the pitch 30 seconds earlier it's just a like what are we going to have precogs at the next world cup that are going to like prevent goals from ever happening

dude i got to say though the switzerland one where the guy got he got a red card um because he like faked yes mistaken identity they called it and dude he uh i think that's he i was i saw it with kevin he's like he's like dude when the guy he like he like fake falls he's like Kevin's impression it was so funny

he's like yeah he deserved that I mean what did you think about that I thought I was pretty stoked when the because the drama the high drama when people like pretend like that got injured is is a little much for me I agree I do think and this is such like a

Yankee outsider perspective so I'm sorry if it's not like you know more steep in the culture of soccer. But like, I do think it's too easy to get kicked out of a soccer game. And I do think it's too punitive when you get a red card that you have to miss the next game. Yeah, that is tough. I think I've heard people pitch that you just miss like a chunk of the game if you get a card. Like it's like almost like hockey where you're in the penalty box for like 20 minutes and you've got to play as 10.

Yeah. That makes more sense to me. But, you know, I'm not going to come in, change your sport. But I think that would make for more genuine outcomes. The one thing I hate is when a team is leading, right? And there's like 10 minutes left. Guys will just fall down and like sit there for like two, three minutes to like delay. Oh, it gets brutal at the end of games.

Both sides are just flopping and dive in. And it's like tactical. Like they're doing it on purpose to like waste time, right? But like keep the ball and run backwards or something. Like you don't have to fucking fall down and fake an injury. Like there's other ways to burn time. The ref's got to get more authoritative about it and be like cut that shit out. they're allowed to have like more space to like be actual human beings in soccer

like they can do shit like you could imagine a guy just been like hey i'm not gonna play and just standing there and the ref being like hold on hold on we got to talk about this like why aren't you playing he's like because i'm pissed yeah and they're like have a which is kind of what's cool about it is that it's not as like regimented as football where it's like this is that kind of infraction this is that it's like uh it's more evolving during the match yeah totally But yeah, what a great sport. Fucking sick tournament.

We all chalk in the semis. Okay, who are you pulling for? England, Argentina, France, or Espagna? For me, it's either England or Spain. I got to say I go, Spain, the motherland. Let's go, dude. Yeah, what about you? I'm pulling for England.

Oh, did I say Spain? Yeah. Oh, I meant England. Dude, let's go. You know, I like watching him sing Wonderwall afterwards. I like that they say it's coming home. The fans say that about the tyranny. I like that they haven't won for a while.

And I like Jude Bellingham. I like that guy. I like his energy on the pitch. I think he'd be sick if they want. I think Argentina would be boring. Yeah, I don't want Argentina. Messi's already got one too. You know, his legacy is cemented.

France looks incredible. They're beautiful out there. Mbappe. Yeah, Mbapé. Yeah. But as we covered on the last two pods ago, like what even is France? No, I don't even know where it is. It's not for the boys.

It's not for the- Someone stole that bit. Really? I called him out online. Oh, you did? Yeah, someone sent it to me. Like two days later after we put ours out, some guy was like, France isn't for boys' trips. Who's on stand-up? Just, no, some random, like, creator guy.

Oh, really? Yeah. Hilarious. It happens all the time. It's fine. It's no big deal, but you got to say something. Yeah, France is for chicks. and

dude yeah Spain won't be mad about it you know Viva la Spagna I like Mbpe too people pick on him for like being corny it's a little LeBron like

but he's incredible And I like the way he was in that Paraguay game Yeah They were like punching him And he kept a smile on his face He's fun to watch I like the players in France Just France itself

Exactly just yeah go have it baguette the beautiful game America and dude here's the thing I know we do this all the time the US yes I'm gonna say it we're gonna win one before I die I believe that and the rest of the world doesn't believe it we're gonna figure it out I know we got this like youth for pay system issue and like we're not developing talent and the MLS isn't run correctly we're gonna figure it out soccer is getting more popular

it's not just a Fugazi it's not just you know this Mirage that comes up every four years, it's slowly building. It's slowly gaining steam. And before I die, we're going to win one. And I'm going to be so fucking jacked up, dude. So we got, we got, I totally agree on that. We got England and Argentina next. Yeah, they have a, they have a long history. Wow. So Maradona had God at them in like 86, I think it was. Then they had the Falkland Wars. Beckham got sent off one time against them, like 98 or something. Wow. So they, it, It's normally Argentina winning, but, you know, it's a loaded, it's a loaded match. Wait.

The women's U.S. team has won the World Cup a bunch? No. Women have a World Cup? No. They're waiting for us. I'm just kidding. I love those chicks. Megan Rapino and Hope Solo and Hope Solo and Wambach.

They're all legends. Hell yeah. Me a ham dude going way back Ripping it off the tea Yeah what was that what was her name Chastain or something Something I'd take a dump in front of her

Oh I'd take a dump in front of all those gals Yeah soccer's sick Also nice seeing all the countries come here And dig the US and vice versa Us dig them He doesn't like that dude Erlin Holling was leaving Yesterday on a plane and he posted a video of him crying

Really? Yeah like he was like emotional about leaving. He said he really loved it here. That's awesome. So it's cool to see like he's a meme and like a lot of people joke about him and stuff. But he's one of the biggest players in the world. So his opinion I feel like matters a lot. Bro, he's unbelievable.

He's on, he's freaking hilarious and he's so sick to watch. Tap in Merchant My Ass, dude. Oh, dude. Look at that. That second goal he had against, uh, who was it, Brazil? was filthy. He stood on that thing with total calm. His heart rate looked like it was like at 20 beats a minute.

Is he related to Moscow? Moscow loves him. And they have a similar diet because he does like the raw milk. And he likes, I like fatty steaks, rib-eye, beef, short rib. Yeah, look at him. There's good videos of him and Jude being boys when they were on a German team together, Dortmund or something. Sorry, I keep talking a lot today. No, go, go.

That was the other thing when there was like free kicks. Jude would be guarding him and he would like pinch Jude's ass. Yeah. Like you could tell they were like boys outside of the game, you know? Yeah, there's like an interview where they're like, who do you miss? He's like, oh, you know, I guess if I had to say Jude, I miss Jude, I'm like, yeah, they're friends. It's nice. He's great.

What a Viking. Fun to watch them when they were doing the row thing. I need to watch, Moscow sent me a video. He's like, you got to watch this. If I haven't watched it, yeah. I think it's probably the diet thing. He does a lot of like cold water stuff and sauna. You think he listens to Rogan?

Yes. Absolutely, dude. Do you think there's some power in the flow of his hair? Like, I feel like he is better now with long hair. And with short hair, he might have been good, but now he has the long hair. He's really hitting those headers. Do you feel like there's power in that flow? Samson.

A hundred percent. I think T is stored in the flow. flow. I think, you know, I think there's spirituality in the flow. They say when you shave your dome, you shave off your third eye. So he is connected to Pachamama. He is connected to the source. And I don't know what the rest of his diet is, but judging from his hair, I can guess he drinks his own pee. And it's obvious, dude. Stud. If there's something I want the audience to take away from this podcast, drink your own pee. Aim your wiener up and just arc it into your mouth.

And no paperwork. And no paperwork. Drink your own pee, no paperwork. That's the world I want to live in. And then molesters, they get, what do you do, the molesters? Kill the molesters. Yeah, and if you don't like that sweatshirt, it's because you're a molester. Why else would you dislike that sweatshirt unless you're a molester, bro?

Exactly. That's why when people call me out on it, I beat the shit out of him. I'm like, caught you, dude. Yeah. Wore it to visit my grandma at her old folks home. She was like, JT, please don't wear that sweatsh. I was like, oh my God, grandma. Had to fuck her up.

Good. Then my buddy Freddie died. I went to his funeral, man. I was so bummed out. wore the sweatshirt to honor him. His widow comes up to me. She's like, why are you wearing that? I was like, did Freddie know?

That I just beat the fuck out of her. He had no idea. He was married to a molester. Then I was, uh, I was dropping the kids off at a preschool the other day. My son's like, dad don't wear it. It's so embarrassing. And I was like, dude, not you, man.

Like, you're only three years old. Yeah. Had to beat the fuck out of them. Good. That's crazy to be that young and to already be one. I know. It's heartbreaking. But I took care of it.

It's my job. Dude, I went to the farmer's market yesterday. Yeah. With my lady, we had a strict budge, 100 bones. Within two minutes, I blew it all on Sheila Jeet, which is ooze from the Himalayan Mountains. It's just raw, primordial minerals from the earth. Just seeping up through the cracks of the Himalayas, just coming right up. So good for you.

And boost your tea gives you so much energy. And, you know, I met this guy, this Indian guy, super spiritual guy. And I'm like, what's going on with the Shiliji? He's like, oh, it's pure energy, brother. Just put that under your tongue. You'll never have, you'll never be sick. You'll never be anxious again. And then my fiance came up.

She's like, what else can you give us? He's like, I've got saffron. You just chew on those right before bed. And then you take some of this avagandadah, and that's the jelly of, it's like royal jelly. And you just get a spoonful of that. Take that before. bed you're going to sleep with the gods and i was like dude take all my money and i was so stoked and i was just like it felt like i was meeting like a transcendent godlike figure from the far east and i'm like

dude what is your name brother and he's like ken whoa that's exotic yeah so yeah i love she legit some Sheila G this morning, so she's going to be boosting her tea. That straight Sheila heat. Yeah. Guys, we want to hear from you on this podcast. Call the number. Leave a voicemail for us. 323-418-2019.

Yo, what's up, Chad, and J.T. This is Tyler from New York. Long-time Stoker, first-time caller. Chad, I just heard that you're going to be performing at Edinburgh at the French Festival. I am going to be there. Not when you're performing, but my wife. is going to be performing there as well. Look out for a girl shooting bow and arrow with your feet.

Check her out, man. Sick. That's it. Dude, that fired me up. What a legend. I'm going to check her out. What was she shooting? That's why I want to know.

I had a quick follow-up on this. If you guys went to a talent show but couldn't do comedy, What is something that you guys would do? Spelling. I'm not that good at it. I'd jump through a ring of fire. That's Seph Sick. The dirt bike.

I'd light off fire crackers. Light an M.80 and just toss it. Blow it up. Be like, what the fuck is up now, dude? Give me my prize. Dude, if you see a guy in a dirt bike trying to jump through ring of fire you just go straight to the ring it's got to be really funny

on a dirt bike yeah dude at the talent show dude imagine how many chicks we want to see you dump after that dude if you that's see okay right

like if you jump through a ring of fire park the bike and then take a dump on stage they have to remember you. I can't stop laughing it. Margot Robbie coming in. You're just cheap as sick.

You Margo Robbie? No, no, no, stay. No, stay. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Hey, relax. I do this all the time. Your first time?

The first time with what? First time walking in on me taking a dump while I'm chiefering a cigarette. I'm joking. It's obviously your first time. Stay for a little bit. Oh my god It's a little tough to stay in here Why, because it smells

A bit, yeah Yeah, yeah, that makes sense Okay, I'm gonna go now No, no, no, come on Don't be weird Well, you're a big shot, you can't stay near my dump for a while Come on, get closer I actually, I've been wanting to talk to you

Okay, yeah That's how you do it You control the frame Actually, I've been wanting to talk to, Marco Robbie. Come in. Come in. Oh, good. I was waiting for you to show up. That's a good job. Dude. Yeah. You know, I saw my box and you're talking. You go like, deer and head lunche.

Hey! And they go, oh. No, no, come in. No, come on. Go ahead. It's all right. Come closer. Come shake my head. To put your pants around your ankles. You're just taking the top of just cheating and say. Boys.