Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 55 - Genetic Engineering, Breathing, Bears

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

What up stokers, in this episode, we dive deep into Chad's morning routine, the debate around genetic engineering, a young kid's friendship with a bear, and tough guy talk returns! Check it out. Promo Code: GoingDeep20 For bonus content, check out our patreon: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

What's up Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast. Well, you came in with two types of tea. I got tea right here for right now of tea. I got a tea right here for right now. And then I got hot tea that once it cools down is going to get chugged.

Oh, so you're looking for two types of tea? Yeah, and I haven't had caffeine in a couple of days. I save it all for the podcast days. Wow, really? Yeah. You're able to do that?

Yeah, yeah. Dude, I like, I've been, I've been going hard on a caffeine. I did like four shots of espresso this morning. But you have no other vices. I mean, you live in a, I guess a meat locker. I don't. But you have no other vices. I mean, you live in a, uh, ice, uh, meat locker.

I don't know. I've been pretty horny. Yeah, you have been horny. I noticed that earlier, actually. Yeah, you can't slip your horniness by me. You don't do it. You made like three horny comments and I just like, kind of was like, what's going on over there?

Oh, really? Yeah. Dude, I figured out why. I think I figured out why. Why? What's up? My diet's mostly aphrodisiacs. Right.

I'm eating, eating uh arugula dark chocolate if there's no oyster i'll fucking eat it right so it's not even that you're so horny it's more like your gut bacteria is horny my gut well they're like damn sauerkraut probiotics let's get that fucking let's get those hormones of rage and i'm like for sure dude i might have even have noticed you were horny before you even made horny comments. Like right when you came in the door, I was like, is my dog horny? Yeah, dude. I caught a whiff of you, the way your shoulders were popping. I was like, my dog looks like he's trying to deposit some of himself.

Interesting. Yeah. You could feel that energy? I really did know you were horny. I swear to it. Dude, only you could feel that too. Dude, I think it's going in the air too because Mauriceurice was super horny yeah last night well he was so funny about it he's like we were getting dinner he's like hey you want to go to a bar after this

he like never wants to go out i was like what's up why do you want to go to a bar and before i could even finish he goes i'm horny so we went to three bars talked to zero girls nice and just talked amongst ourselves and then um it's still a lot of fun yeah i kept we got to one bar where it was just packed with people i was like do you want to talk to any girls and then he was like no i'm stuffed from dinner i'm just not feeling it and then we just turned in damn joe but it's repetitions baby yeah you just got to keep getting in there yeah joe joe with the horny hog he's horny yeah you're horny i'm surrounded by horniness normally i'm the horniest i'm not i think it's a sign of being healthy if you're horny absolutely yeah yeah

you're young and virile yeah virile vigorous vigorous vigorous and virile just it's flowing through me yeah that's wonderful baby yeah it's extra t levels i I don't know. That sounds good, dude. Yeah. Testosterone's so valuable. Yeah. Dude, have you seen those testosterone boosting commercials? I think so, yeah. I can't do it justice, but I forget what they say, but it's so hardcore. It's like, take these and you'll fucking have testosterone. And you're like, nice.

Dude, my thing is I'm just so skeptical of all those gnc products because i i spent so much of my parents money like grabbing that stuff in high school and had very little effect on my overall musculature yeah and then i did real steroids yeah and i freaking put on 20 pounds of muscle and just working out twice a day and i could bench like twice my previous max were you scared when you first did them no because back then i had no fear of it the only thing i was afraid of was being small and a virgin what about like what about like your nuts shrinking or something like that i went through a doctor to get it so they gave me all sorts of blockers and this guy was like a genuine md who was like giving steroids to a lot of kids that's the orange county culture we were bred in interesting and um

and they would do this phony test where they gave a you'd give them a stool sample and then it would come back and say you had epstein-barr yeah which was like perpetual mono and then they would give you testosterone to boost your levels to a to what they said was normal but i mean i was a healthy kid and then um i wasn't worried about the nut a little worried my hair got curlier oh and and i didn't get angrier a lot of people think you get angry i didn't get angrier i was of people think you get angrier I didn't get angrier I was actually nicer what was it like getting a stool sample? I didn't think anything of it

it was just hard to get the poop in the little vial it's like a little small vial you don't even know how to do this hope you have good aim chief you're supposed to like poop I forget where and then like scoop some out they give you like a little scooper and then you put it in a vial. Gross.

And they probably didn't even test it. I think everyone who came back with their results, they were like, you need steroids. Nice. And then they freaking beefed me up. But for you youngins out there who think there's a free lunch out there, there's not. My shoulders deteriorated because it was pumping like cortisol

so I didn't feel the muscles just rotting and breaking down. And then after I got off of it, I had to have reconstructive surgery on my left one. Cortisol is no bueno. No. It's stress. Do you know what I've been doing every morning? Might have been cortisone.

I might have been off on that one. It's one of those. Yeah. But I know cortisol is bad. Yeah. I think cortisone is – well, I think that's a steroid. Yeah. Yeah, interesting.

I've been doing – well, just for the past two mornings, box breathing. Yeah, you were telling me about this. What is it? Maybe seals do it. Nice. It's just like full breathing. You do it for like 10 minutes in the morning. You get kind of high from it.

It's pretty sweet. Any natural high, I love that. Yeah. Well, they say it unlocks, you know know gets you into that sort of like relaxed state where you're more creative and stuff so when you start the day like that you can just like you can be like hey i could like be an animator right now that's how creative i felt whoa an animator that's just what went through my dome and like i did box yeah i did box breathing so i assume that's creative just sprouting new career paths yeah it's like oh i'm gonna start doing

cartoons that's awesome dude yeah so i can't wait career paths. Yeah, it's like, oh, I'm gonna start doing cartoons. That's awesome, dude. Yeah, so. I can't wait to see those. Stokers, start doing breathing things and you may just dive into like drawing. Yeah.

Dude, I tried doing the only tea thing. It wasn't juicing me up enough. It's not jacking you up enough. Well, I need to like, I need to get like a shot of espresso, more like three or four.

Put on like Billie Jean and just run. Nice. Tia doesn't do that for me. Oh, dude, I have the worst news for you. What? You know how they did the R. Kelly doc? Oh, dude, yeah, I've heard about this. You know what's coming?

The MJ one? The MJ one's coming. I don't trust them on the MJ one, dude. Don't do this. You don't have them on the MJ one, dude. Don't do this. You don't have to watch it. Are you going to watch it? No, I don't watch any. I didn't watch the R. Kelly one.

You're content with your relationship with MJ? Yeah. I don't know. I don't have any stance on that, but it gives me no benefit to watch any of that shit. Well, you're against if he did. Of course. Yeah.

Don't fucking... No, I'm just clarifying in case anyone misinterpreted. No, I like to watch Seinfeld and fucking surf videos. I don't need to watch these. I'm sick of documentaries, although it's good for them to expose R. Kelly or whatever he did. But I don't need to watch these i'm sick of documentaries although it's good for them to expose r kelly or whatever he did yeah but i don't need to watch documentaries that make me depressed about shitty stuff other people do it does nothing for me absolutely did you watch the fire fest one

no either one no did you watch the ted bundy one i watched seinfeld yeah you're very outside the zeitgeist because everybody's watching these i don't give a fuck nice yeah i don't care what other people do i'm box breathing dude i like picturing that there's someone out there who just like fucking loves hating documentaries like you and they hear you say that and they're just like finally dude yes you're like did you see the fire you see the one on tom cruise and scientology no okay yeah the book was good and they're like they're like oh but he had like people cleaning his house with a toothbrush i'm like oh like character building?

Yeah, it sounds good to me. Right. Plus, it's science. I'm not going to argue with science. Yeah, I'd be curious what toothpaste Tom Cruise uses. Yeah. I'd say he's a crust guy. Yeah.

He's not doing that hippy-dippy stuff. You know, like, my cousin Hans and Shabman, they were into, like, all-in-one products. Like, they'd be like, this is my toothpaste, my deodorant, my shampoo, my soap, and my butter for my food. And I was like, all in one thing. They're like, it's all you need, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. Which was cool. Cause they were like, so detached from like, you know, consumers and where you need like one specialized thing for everything. But I was like, I was like, I can't make that leap, dude. I like my right guard and I like my margarine yeah and i hear you on that do you think do you think in in time if we get more and more like environmentally

conscious we'll have like a tool belt with like a straw our fork and like or like a grocery bag yeah like we'll have like yeah i mean i think that's ideal yeah if you could make the tool belt cool it could be a cool look i mean i'm ashamed of like not really ashamed to the point where i change but i'm like not you know i'm for the coral and i'm for the causes but in my day-to-day life my conservation is pretty weak yeah it's tough it is hard dude because when you start using the the methodologies or whatever you're like this sucks yeah but joe's like dude you got to stop bringing home grocery bags from the same grocery store like just start bringing like a case i'm gonna

make the switch there yeah i i try to uh i try to not get a bag and just carry it like this that's awesome because that's good for the buys too oh yeah that's that's mostly why i do it just to get those fucking guns piping dude that's what my mom has firebys, because she's carrying kids. Yeah. She's carrying like five kids. Now she's just fucking... Jack City, bro. I'm like, Mom, let me see those arms.

She's like, what, these guns? Yeah. I'm like, let's go to the beach. Your mom does have pipes, dude. Thanks, dude. Dude, let's get into our topics, bro. Okay. What up, camera?

Hey, what up, camera? Dude, first up, watched marie kondo's show on a netflix yeah tidying up yeah based off her book which was a phenomenon got her on the times 100 most influential people in 2015 she's trying to get back on that list with this documentary series where it's just about her cleaning out people's houses what'd you think i thought i think it's i think it's great um she's a delightful presence i love yeah i love her presence she comes in just super happy i love a few horny remarks about her she did make me horny dude i was like wow she's so happy she probably doesn't watch documentaries yeah she's like she's at the end of one episode in japanese when they translate it it's that huge tom cruise fan does sprints she's so in your alley bro oh yeah i think uh if she she but she's you know she walks in you're like wow yeah uh and the families seem to respond so well

to her i mean by the end of every episode so they start with some family and like the house is a fucking disaster like the second episode we watched you were freaking out you're like dude i can't believe how much shit these people have in their house it's crazy and then by the end of it they're like crying and the husband and wife are always so much closer at the end of it like they're actually by clearing out the space in their house they make space for love yeah and then they're like looking to each other's eyes with watery like and they're watery and you're like oh my god this is like more than cleaning well you can see how much the dirtiness like creates tension among them yeah in the one episode we watched it was like the husband was kind of pissed and this one the wife was kind of pissed and the the other partner was kind of like

apathetic you know they're just kind of like i don't really and the other and was kind of like apathetic, you know? Yeah. And they're just kind of like, I don't really, and the spouse is just like, you fucking piece of shit. That was, I was getting that. Your baseball cards are in our master bedroom. You weak. Seven-year-old nerd. Yeah. Yeah.

And the wife and the other one's like, I don't know. I just don't like doing laundry. And he's like, I'm at work all day and you can't do fucking laundry. Yeah. That guy was definitely holding back a lot of rage for the cameras like it felt like he was about to blow yeah in like six of his like confessionals yeah but dude he's holding it and he's like yes it's all good and her folding technique for shirts she like makes them like like the way they do fancy napkins at restaurants where it like sticks up vertically and it's like more space efficient,

but it also just looks like, like it's really aesthetically pleasing. Yeah. And I was like, dude, that's like a revelation, but I could never keep it up. Like she could come fix up my apartment,

but after a couple of weeks I'd be like back to checking shirts in the corner. Dude. Yeah. It's tough. I mean, cleaning does make me feel better, but it is, it is such a tough discipline. And it's boring dude. dude yeah it's tough i mean clinting does make me feel better but it is it

is such a tough discipline and it's boring dude because the show is boring like we both got bored oh i got super bored yeah i was thinking uh i like her idea of things that spark joy yeah you know because um i think that's important you Like, what sparks joy for me? Seinfeld episodes? Sprints? Bacon. Bacon. Making videos.

Yeah. Marie Kondo. Dancing. Dancing. What sparks joy for you? Dude, I was thinking about this. I was like, if I started grabbing stuff, because her basic idea is that you hold something like a shirt

or like a book that you've been holding on to, and you hold it to your chest, and you think to yourself, does this spark joy? And if it does, you keep it. If it doesn't, you toss it. Yeah. And I realized nothing. I own sparks joy for me.

Like, I get joy from, like, my dong and my brain and my friends and my family movies and movies but those are on streaming platforms you can't really hold it you know maybe the little apple tv controller that sparks joy for me for sure my prius i love it but i've never even named it like my prius doesn't spark joy i guess it does i like how honest you were with that list too you put dong number one yeah i was I worked through it and I was like, I started grabbing around and then I grabbed my dong and I was like, yeah.

I was like, you do make me happy, dude. And then my hand moved up my body. It's kind of a fun process. And then I just rubbed my dome and I was like, I do love my brain. I rubbed my head a little bit. And then I looked around and I was like, yeah, I love when I hug my parents or when I hug you.

That sparks joy. Oh, for sure. But like Joe's like Chicago Bears blanket that's in our living room doesn't do shit for me, dude. You could light that fucking thing on fire. As long as we got a new one the next day, I'd be fine. Yeah. No, dude, I agree. There weren't many material things.

My bed, I'd say, sparks some joy. This champion jacket and I have this new cordu bed i'd say sparks some joy this champion jacket and i have this new corduroy jacket those spark some joy and van shoes those are probably the only material things but it is important to count your blessings so i think every morning like i might just start looking at my dong for like a minute and just being like grateful for it and then just maybe looking at my hair in the mirror. Yeah, and just hold them. Yeah. And just be like, thank you. Yeah.

Thank you for being a part of me. Thank you for being a part of my life. You're supposed to thank your shit before you throw it away. That's what she says. Yeah. I wonder if when I'm married, my future wife will see me just staring at my dong. She'll be like, what are you doing? I'm like practicing gratitude.

She'll be like, this guy's special. I told you one time I was peeing with the door open and I looked up off the mirror and my mom was just staring at me and she was smiling. I was like, what are you doing? And she was like, what? She was like proud of me.

That's awesome. For being an adult with a dong. Your mom's so open and just free with all that stuff. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. You had some reservations. It's cool. Yeah, well, because I'm like, I can't like yell at her for being like proud of me for having a dong yeah but in the moment i'm never as like

i'm not on the same wavelength as her yeah yeah stoker's write in and tell us what sparks joy for you dude that'd be cool yeah dude so uh i sent you that article about crisper gene editing yeah so they've come up with the system now where they can basically alter genes and they can't do it right now to change like your beauty or intelligence or athleticism like that's too sophisticated but they can like you know prevent you from getting diseases but the problem is it's not totally legal and they don't know like how far it could go so everyone's kind of freaking out and some scientist in china altered two babies and prevented them from ever made them basically immune to ever getting hiv i think is what he did yeah and i think he did it because he wanted to be first market so he could start making money doing designer babies yeah and now they got to decide

like what's allowed what's not allowed it's kind of freaky it's like we're gonna have like human veneers yeah you know veneers are the teeth the teeth they're just fake teeth so everyone's just gonna be like a freaking veneer yeah um yeah so you think like authenticity will be lost in this process of like altering these uh babies i think it'll just be kind of boring or it'll just normalize it you know right but but I don't think for a long time I think only rich people are going to be able to afford it so it'll be like a huge like an even bigger class chasm

because rich people live to be a thousand and poor people live to be like whatever they live to whatever we live to now yeah it's an interesting debate yeah but I think you know I think with all that stuff, you got to stick with nature. Yeah.

I mean, if they can prevent, if they can stop diseases, though. Yeah. Like, I'm all for, like, stopping the bad stuff. I just don't think we should improve the normal stuff. But what about, like, the element of danger, you know? Like, when they made weed legal, you're like, it's not as cool to, like, smoke weed anymore. You know? It'll be cool to be

like an authentic baby yeah other than like a designer crisper baby so maybe this is controversial but if you're like boning and you're like i can't even get the clap anymore what's the point yeah you like that sense of danger every time you take the plunge i respect that about you you're such an adrenaline junkie i uh i just worry about twos that like in america we'll be like a little more prudish about it we'll be like no crisper editing yeah yeah and then like china and russia will be like hey we're going all the way with it i mean because russia already does that like basic human engineering with like they give steroids to like every person who does athletics over there yeah sorry to generalize um and so if they're all turning super and we're staying regular i don't feel like

that's going to be good for us yeah dude i'm totally with you 100 on that if other people start doing it we got to do it times 10 we cannot let them dominate us with that it's barry bonds dude yeah he was like better at baseball than mark mcguire but then mark mcguire got more famous than him for hitting dingers and barry bonds was like i'm not gonna let this juiced out dude yeah who i'm better than be perceived as better than me yeah dude we got a barry bonds that shit all day bonds it dude yeah i was a huge fan of barry bonds i liked him too it's fun to watch him man he was like come out there with the armor on his arm yeah crowding the plate and he'd either walk or freaking hit the ball into mccovey cove yeah don't yeah don't you think like if if we're if if uh like america stays too like noble with

that shit and everyone else is like super hot everywhere else yeah don't you feel good that you're like all natural no yeah we'll be like no i want to move yeah the only thing that's gonna suck too is if like they come up with like all these fixes for all these diseases that plague us yeah right as we're leaving the earth i was thinking that so we'll just be like waving goodbye to like the new immortal norm yeah that's really gonna piss you off i'm gonna be so mad if i have to take the plunge into the permanent chill yeah all these people are just kicking it forever yeah i'm like man i was right there dude i was thinking the exact same thing right before that i'm like i kind of want this to happen after i kick the bucket i want a bunch of super hot people

who are way smarter and funnier than me just like flexing on me. I'll be like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, let's kick the can down the road a little bit so we don't get dominated by CRISPR babies. And then they'll just be like, oh man, makes me so mad. Did you see this little kid who survived in the woods? With a bear?

Yeah, for two days. Yeah, it's awesome yeah he made friends with the animals i think that just shows the importance of like having like good energy because if a bear comes out to me up to you and he's like wow you have a lot of gratitude coming from you or horniness let's kick it nice that's a cool bear what do you think dude i'm just stoked this kid survived. I don't know if I would have made it two days in the wilderness. Yeah.

And he seemed to have a good attitude about it. And yeah, he said he made friends with a bear. So I'm all thumbs up on it. Yeah. I think I might have told this story on the podcast. I knew a lady who went camping and got attacked by a bear and did what you're supposed to. She played dead. And the bear batted her around like a toy, like he played with her.

Yeah. But that fucks you up. She had like cuts on her head. Oh, yeah. She had stitches. Yeah. Pretty gnarly stuff. She recuperates.

A couple years later, she goes camping. Gets attacked by another bear. Dude. She plays dead. Bear beats her around like a toy. She got her fucked up again. Damn. Yeah.

And I can't decide. Is that lady lucky or unlucky? She's unlucky, right? Unlucky. Aaron, you think she's unlucky or lucky? You listening? Unlucky. Unlucky?

Yeah. Even though she survived two bear attacks, she's just unlucky for having to have been attacked twice? Yeah. Dude, it's like when i'm surfing people get scared of sharks you know i'm like the people who are scared of sharks i'm like you're gonna get attacked because when i'm when i'm in the ocean i know i'm with my dogs and people just seem to get fucked i'm surprised leo got attacked by that bear with all that charisma yeah and he dates like hot models too yeah exclusively yeah and then the bear's like naughty he just lives like a party boy lifestyle awesome yeah strider says um he's valeted his car before oh really he's just always rolling in with his

dogs and he's saying bro like a thousand times a minute that's awesome yeah but about like the environment and like martin squire says he moves he's like bro like we gotta get more trees and his friends are like bro for sure we're gonna get more trees bro you're complaining about that straw think about the turtles bro bro you're using a straw bro way to hurt turtles bro do you want to do tough guy talk with leo as an environmentalist yeah sure we haven't done tough guy talking a Leo as an environmentalist? Yeah, sure. We haven't done tough guy talk in a while. Hey, what's up, Leo? No, you're Leo.

Oh, what's up, dude? I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, what up, dude? Hey. I'm Toby McGuire. Hey, do some of this blow. Right there? Yeah, but dude, what is that?

What kind of straw are you using to do blow? Oh, I got this from McDonald's. Dude, that's disgusting, bro. You would do coke with me and my boys at work in front of children using a straw like that? Why? Because it's McDonald's? Not because it's McDonald's, dude. Because that straw hurts turtles. You know what a turtle is?

Most beautiful, majestic... I've done coke with turtles, dude. I'm friends with some of the fucking coolest turtles in the ocean. And if they fucking knew I was hanging out with a fucking guy like you hurting them with a fucking straw, dude. That's so disrespectful, dude. I mean, I'm a tough guy and I like doing blow in front of people and fucking living my life by my own rules.

But I don't fuck with Mother Nature, dude. You've done blow with turtles? Fuck yeah, dude I don't fuck with Mother Nature, dude. You've done blow with turtles? Fuck yeah, dude. You should come with me sometime, bro. Where? Dude, charter a plane. Don't worry, it runs on biodiesel. Fly out to the fucking Caymans, bro.

Fucking snapper turtles come up on the water, bro, because they're used to people feeding them at a certain hour. But when they come up to me, bro, I got to fucking platter a blow. And I fucking feed it to these fucking turtles, dude. Do they love it? They get so fucking jacked up, bro. Does it make them not slow? them at a certain hour but when they come up to me bro i got a platter of blow and i feed it to these turtles do they love it they get so jacked up bro does it make them not slow oh they go a lot faster bro you start thinking you're watching a wave runner with a shell on its head dude i feel like turtles would be the last ones you'd think that would like uppers

everybody likes cocaine that's the dirty secret that nobody talks about you watch all these tv shows everybody's doing everything you're like how do these action stars have so much energy you know what i mean like that dragon and how to train your dragon how's that dragon got so much energy blow don't blow because i worked on that movie and i did blow with that dragon you did blow with the dragon yeah blink of something. Birdtail. The fuck his name was. Fucking great kid, though. Fun to party with, bro.

Mm-hmm. You got to do some Blow Right Now. Look at all these children watching us. Yeah, I'm doing a Make-A-Wish thing. What's up, kids? Yeah. What do I use? I need an environmental straw.

No, no, no, dude. We don't use straws here, dude. I just put my face on it it and I just fucking snort. You put your face on it? It's primal. Primal. Can I tell you something? Yeah.

Every kid's wish is to do blow. For real? I don't know, but that's what we're doing. If you come hang out with me, that's what we're doing. And no one's ever asked for a refund. For real? Yeah, bro, because I fucking have a good time. I don't let people judge me, bro, for doing fucking blow.

You fucking kidding me? I'm going to let them fucking judge me? I'm the most fun. Nobody has more fun than me. You look fun. Fucking A, bro. You want to be fun? Yeah.

Do you do blow with that bear? Oh, yeah. Oh, the one? You're talking about the bear from The Edge? Or are you talking about the bear from The Revenant? The Revenant. Because I did blow with both of them. Yeah, oh, the one? You're talking about the bear from The Edge? Or are you talking about the bear from The Revenant? The Revenant. Because I did blow with both of them. Yeah, the one from The Revenant?

Dude, that guy was a fucking animal, that bear. Yeah. Yeah, we did blow together. Because that bear was actually from that Grizzly Man documentary, and then I scouted him and said, you should be in this other movie with Leonardo DiCaprio because the bear says fucking, oh, I am Leonardo DiCaprio.

Well, I think you can refer to yourself in the third person right so i saw this bear and grizzly man and i said all right come be in my movie the revenant we'll do blow together and uh that wasn't the whole pitch you know i also said we got in a ratu and it's going to be a ask a thing and it's for the then the people who are from there yeah because that was a big thing in the movie. And then, yeah, bro, we did some fucking blow. When you, did you, were you doing blow with animals

before you became an environmentalist? Yeah, bro. I mean, not good blow, you know, not the shit I get now, you know, now I'm a star

and people just fucking give me blow. But yeah, I was doing blow when I was a kid, you know, my mom had a couple dogs and then we had a parrot and, you know, we did fucking blow all the time.

And that was fucking great, bro. I mean, you see me when I was a kid, you know, my mom had a couple dogs, and then we had a parrot. And, you know, we did fucking blow all the time. And that was fucking great, bro. I mean, you see me when I was a kid? You see me in This Boy's Life or in Romeo and Juliet or in that fucking movie? Romeo and Juliet was fire. Fucking What's Eating Good with Grape? I'll tell you, What's Good with Grape? Snorting. That's what they should have called that movie.

Yeah, fucking blow, dude. A lot of people don't know this is my real voice, too. I'm such a fucking good actor. I was about to say. My dialects, they get pretty fucking sophisticated. People can can't tell the origins but this is actually how i talk when i'm on blow dude and i'm always on blow friends with david blaine magician oh he does blow he does some magic he fucking makes blow disappear but bro don't you ever use a fucking straw with me again i swear to god bro all right okay that was very offensive to me and to the children

that the you offended the children. That's the thing. Because you hurt the kids. Because then the kids think it's okay to use straws. Sorry, guys. It's okay. I'll do blow with just my nose. It's okay. It's okay.

I don't care. I don't care. It's fine. Oh, well, watch it, Willie. Willie did a little too much blow. No, I'm fine. What? Shut up.

Shut up, Leo. Oh, no one tells me to shut up. I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. Willie, I'm fine. What? Shut up. Shut up, Leo. Oh, whoa, whoa. No one tells me to shut up. I'm Leonardo DiCaprio. What's, Willie? What's wrong with you? What, I haven't gotten you late enough this weekend? Now you're gonna pop attitude with me?

Dude, I love your real voice. You should use that more often. I'll take that fucking straw and shove it up your ass, Willie. Yeah, Willie, shut the fuck up. And I'll snort your fucking fecal matter out of my fucking head. What? I'm a freak, bro. I do fuck up. And I'll snort your fucking fecal matter out of my fucking head. What? I'm a freak, bro. I do crazy shit.

Crazy shit. I tell people to make documentaries about me. They get too scared. They say, what is this, The Art of Killing? You fucking doing a genocide? All right, that was tough guy talk. There's a lot going on there. A lot of threads to follow.

Dude, that was a banger of an ending. Yeah, dude. Leo's crazy, dude. DiCaprio's a wild man. All right, dude. I think we've got some fucking... Wait, real quick. I want to do some sports talk with you.

Yes. Who you got in the Super Bowl? As much as I want to say Rams, I think I got to go Patriots. I know. I think that's the smart bet. It's tough. All right. And then Anthony Davis, NBA superstar.

One of the best players in the league. 125 years old. 6'11", 7'6", wingspan, can shoot, can defend the pick and roll. Modern big. Demanding a trade out of New Orleans. How do you feel about superstars leaving bad situations for like what they see are greener pastures like are you are you okay with that or do you think you should stick it out it's it's a tough call because he probably you know he wants to get those

rings under his belt and he's like i can't do this here but like i also think it's kind of like stuck with stick with the one who brought you yeah you know you gotta you gotta make do with what you have yeah you know uh it makes a i think it's a much better story yeah you could have some you know it's the easy way out like take me to whoever's take me to the warriors whatever but um if you uh if you create a dynasty if you stick with that team and you just fucking bring them to the top that's way cool and you get way more respect i appreciate that what do you think i i don't know i mean because you know you only get one life and if you feel like you're gonna have more fun or or be more fulfilled somewhere

else yeah i don't think you like owe it to people to stay, but I do appreciate your perspective that it's more heroic to like just inherit a mess and then turn it into like a fucking diamond, you know? I'm not saying I would do that. No, I don't think I would either. But I think that's the cooler thing to do. Yeah, exactly. Like I might not do it, but I admire it.

You know what I mean? And I look up to these people. So I want to see them do like heroic shit that I'm not capable of. Like I wasn't, when LeBron went to Miami, I was like, yeah. Yeah. It's Miami, dude. Yeah.

I would go even if the team sucked. Dude, I was kind of hungover Saturday. I watched the Miami music video five times. Took me out of my hangover that's awesome big willy bro dude i can't feel a drip on the strip the king of charisma it's a trip he really is neil brennan had an instagram post about him where he was like he's the only celebrity i've met who the the the silver screen makes smaller than they actually are. Really? He's like a bigger star in person than he seems like on camera.

Just listen to this intro. Hit it. Listen to that. Feeling the heat. That's so good for the stokers. Dude, stokers dude you just like boosted something someone's driving to work right now and they're just like oh stokers if you're hungover put on the miami music video and watch it 10 times and you will be like it's like you just did box breathing for like two days what how do you do the box breathing can you walk us through it yeah so i i got an app it's

called the um pranayama app and it has that english no oh this is like so this is eastern stuff yeah well there we go yeah so it's some guy in like a meditation position you gotta get closer though i think we're gonna be louder it's got a guy in a meditation position it's really simple you breathe in you know you know full belly breathing can you do it so you breathe in I think we're going to be louder. It's got a guy in a meditation position. It's really simple. You breathe in, you know, full belly breathing. Can you do it? So you breathe in through the belly, and then you breathe in, and you bring that breath all the way up into your shoulders.

So you've got to breathe in with your belly first because that's a full, deep breath. Well, if I can go through my morning routine, do you want to hear it? Yes. All right. So I do the box breathing for about 10 minutes. And then I do this one where you breathe in kind of the same thing. You breathe in through the right nostril, four seconds in, hold for 12, eight seconds out. Then you switch nostrils. Then I meditate for 15 minutes, and then I visualize. I do this thing where this guy taught me this thing where you put your hands over your eyes,

and then you have it feel like lasers are coming out, but the energy's gone back in. He's like, that seals the energy in. And then you just let it go. Makes you joyful. Yeah. So I'll just think about the things I want the most and i'll visualize that and then i'll just like that's what i've been working on yeah i mean dude it's hard for me i don't i never like stick with the thing forever i kind of use them situationally to get me through like rough patches or kind of use as needed yeah but the one time i did write down like three things that i

wanted to happen in the next year they all came true yeah i was like i want to get on tv yeah and then we got on like fox and then um which is the channel i was hoping for and then uh i was like i want to have a girlfriend yeah and i want to make like x amount of money doing like the uh going deep stuff yeah and it all i hit all those benchmarks yeah and then i tried to write one for 2019 but i just wasn't in the same headspace so i just wrote have a big 29 that's what i told you i just wrote have a big 2019 yeah which is so like you know amorphous but it hopefully it i'll know it when i see it yeah i think it's it's already begun i think so too yeah things are going good dude i um but i i

think yeah i sort of change up my routine here and there because i get bored that's my thing too i get very bored and also i i'm sorry what are you gonna say i always go back to meditation though and gratitude breathing stuff i think it can get kind of boring but this box breathing i felt the most difference with so maybe i'll stick with that. All right. You want to get into some questions? Yeah. All right. We got this one. What up, Chad and JT?

Last couple episodes have been heat. Keep it up with the insight and perspective. I'm here to talk about my high school basketball coach. For my entire life, I've been a big high road guy. But dealing with this guy drained my stoke tank so low that for a while it was tough to be happy. Luckily he's been fired. So the next generation won't have to deal with his manipulative, abusive,

humiliating, and sometimes racist coaching tactics. However, I still feel the need to get back at how he treated me for four years. So I've taken that route to prank call him constantly with my boys and make burner accounts to chirp them on Twitter. And his reactions are always hilarious. We've convinced him that his daughter came out as a lesbian. He's very anti-gay and ran away to shack up with a Letty. I have to go infinite green juice i'm sorry to

joe's hog um interesting man this is pretty amazing yeah uh when i first started here i was like oh prank calls awesome but uh then we start getting to the meat of what they are i was like i don't know if you should fuck with his daughter's sexual orientation. Yeah. It's so personal. It feels a little gross. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'd keep the prank calls a little more benign. Good call. Like that guy from that military movie. What's it called? He's like, you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. You know what I'm talking about? Major pain? Yeah. It's like major pain. No no it wasn't major pain anyways do you know who's in it it's that guy it's such like a classic

movie full metal jacket thank you man i'm bummed i didn't get that my dog uh yeah there's a lot of cruelty in that movie, too. Those soundbites are hilarious. Gomer Pyle. What was his name? Private Pyle? Yeah. D'Onofrio, man. That guy looks more psychotic than anybody.

Dude, yeah. If that's an acting skill, he deserves every Oscar for looking psychotic. Yeah. Or maybe they should try to mess with the coach himself. Just be like just be like i'm on to you or something you know i think leave his family out of it yeah i mean it's funny that you're like attacking him for his bigotry and stuff or it makes it more sympathetic to the pranker but and i don't think your soul's like going bad by doing this but it sounds like

this guy really got to you yeah i think maybe just. Maybe the best way to get over it, you've already done this enough, you've fucked with him enough. I think it's time for a turnover and new leaf. Maybe just go to some fucking therapy, dude, and be like, yo, I got some trauma over this, dude. Let's get some EMDR paddles, and I'll talk it out and maybe be able to move past it. Or maybe channel it into starting a business,

and then if he tries to buy your product, make the price 5, 000 times for him right like oh you want to buy my uh my golf balls two thousand dollars whoa yeah and they're worth it because they fucking soar over the fairway yeah yeah yeah so start a business and uh do some therapy dude yeah maybe it's time for the next thing yeah i have a coach like that coach donnelly kept fucking with me he's my swim coach yeah didn't like he didn't think you had good calves he's so mean yeah he didn't think i had good calves he thought he didn't think i was smart and uh now i'm on tv and he's probably still coaching swimming so why don't you suck a big fat veiny dick yeah and it's good to coach swimming but

you know don't be mean what up chad and jt i'm reaching out to you in a state of dire need and cock confusion i'm a young single man and with that comes constant horniness and a desire to lay pipe like a freaking construction worker if you catch my drift dudes anyways i matched on tinder with this fucking smoke show with big ass titties and a sweet ass caboose i've been chatting this chick up and our conversation has gone and gotten quite indicative that some sweet sexual magic is about to happen. As is only natural. My stoke meter is through the roof and I'm sending screenshots around to all

my dogs and they're hyping me up to enjoy some erotic pleasures. As I'm getting ready to seal the deal and spread my seat, I checked out her Tinder again and realized that her bio says that she is transgendered. I'm reaching out to you too and hope so you can be a beacon of light that can guide the direction of my skin flute. I am generally an open-minded dude, but I'm not sure I am trying to get dong down. At the same time, I love a pair of big old titties and voluptuous ass and I'm therefore

incredibly confused. I can't ask my dad for advice as he is dead, but I am hoping you two could give me the right advice that only a father could give in such a troubling time. Yours truly, Marcus. could give me the right advice that only a father could give in such a troubling time yours truly marcus dude i don't think you have to do anything but do whatever you want yeah if you want to hook up with this person hook up with this person maybe uh maybe jerk off and then see if you still want to bone smart yeah stroke your thing skeet all over your sheets and just be like do i still want to get dong down well yeah i'm not even sure that's uh what's gonna happen yeah um i matched with a uh transgender person a bunch of times on dating apps and one

time i was talking to a um a gal but i wasn't I didn't know she was transgender. And so I was like, hey, do you want to come to my 4th of July party? And she was like, yeah, for sure, but I'm transgender. And I was like, oh, well, we probably won't bone then, but you can still come to the party. Is that how you say it? Yeah. Nice.

What up, Stokers? First of all, I love the pod. You guys bring the heat every time, and it's dope to see how real and vulnerable you guys are while still being chill as fuck. Boom, clap. Thanks, man. When I was 21, I was dating this all-time cutie and I liked her so much and wanted to be with her. And I wanted to be real with her.

So I told her I was a virgin. She broke it off and told all our mutual friends. I was heartbroken and embarrassed. And I think I have a lot of anxiety around that because I'm 24 and still a virgin. I've gotten chicks into bed since then. But when it comes time, my dong piece just won't get it up it up for example i was on a date with a cutie a few days ago and we started making out and i got it right up but once things got to the bedroom shit just shut down i've thought about getting viagra somehow and lately i've started to question my

sexuality if i'm gay that's cool but i really don't feel that urge please help dude i gotta ask a major question how much porn are you watching good question how much are you jacking off to that porn because that could be fucking with your dong piece that's true man if you're if you're watching porn that'd be a good thing to cut out because that'll get you back to your baseline and then you might be able to bone more easily but i mean dude also we've lived parallel lives i lost my virginity at 24 um i had a lot of shame over it um my i got a therapist to help me get through it and she did she was wonderful and uh what she told me was just take it slow dude i think you being with like girls that you don't have trust with yet is just gonna feed your insecurity that they're gonna

judge you if you don't perform well sexually so i think the best thing you could do is go on like eight dates with a girl before doing anything sexual and just go slow through the process so by the time you actually get to the bone down, you have real intimacy already and you can trust this person. And then I think your flag's gonna raise right up, dude. Beautiful.

Beautiful. Also, you could try box breathing before you bone. Dude, and visualization? Yeah, visualize a hard dong. That sounds like porn in your own head though it's better than getting viagra absolutely dude yeah and that's the other thing man i've struggled with that stuff and it's like no bueno dude i took some recently half a cialis and i woke up in the middle of the night and thought i was like having a heart attack i was like is this how i party now yeah i just bone and then think i'm dying is he drinking before too is that that's another thing yeah because i remember in

college uh i would have some issues with that because i would just be like blacked out and then i would just be like you know floppy mcgee like those things at car dealerships yeah i don't even know why they have them dude the best isn't he's fanning down when they have the gorilla spinning a banana sign yeah he's just he's like he's like i'm talking about goddamn me not some sign spinning fucking gorilla and then the welfare was like oh shit there's a fight about to go down yeah he's like asher shaffer damn fine to meet you and when he shakes his hand he like holds it he's like he's so funny and dude when he watched the outtakes from that they're all busting up laughing all the time my favorite is in the in like the third season or second season when he owns the kia

dealership and he has like these two women coming out it's him and scott coming out of his office and he's like you did good girls go grab yourselves a donut dude i'm embarrassed i haven't seen i've probably only seen 15 of that show really yeah yeah there's there's a lot of good moments but it wasn't a show i'm like i need to see there was i watched the one episode where they go to ashley schaefer's house and he's having like there's like a cannonball thing yeah that was pretty insane but brilliant yeah i think it was written by harris whittles who passed away oh was it yeah r.i.p really inspired guy yeah yeah check stuff, Stokers, if you don't know. He's really brilliant. All right.

Yo, dudes. I was home for the holidays recently. Christmas Eve morning, I was playing Words with Friends throwback on my mom's iPad. She got a message from one of our family friends while I was there, and the dude was hitting on my mom hard, said some really creepy shit. I told him this was my mom's son, and it quit talking to her like a hard dick and that I'd be back home for Easter to make sure it stopped. The next morning, Christmas Day,

I hear my mom yell from downstairs. I run downstairs and she starts berating me for sending the message. I push back. Why are you letting him talk to you like that? My dad is sitting right there, by the way. We fought for like 10 minutes, then she told me to leave. I started packing my bags and while I did, my dad came upstairs and asked me to apologize, which I knew he was doing because he didn't want to have to

deal with the conflict anyway christmas morning i leave at like 9 a.m and make the 15 hour drive back to where i live now question how would you two dudes handle this situation keep up the stoke much love wait so some guy was hitting on his mom where some guy was hitting on his mom? Where? Some guy was hitting on his mom via her iPad that he was using at the time. Oh. And then he told the guy to back off. And then his mom yelled at him the next day in front of the dad for telling the guy to back off. Weird. So there's a lot going on here.

Yeah. I mean, it sounds like your dad might be aware that he's getting cucked. Or maybe they're swingers either way that's a lot for you to deal with yeah and it's it's a uncomfortable subject matter for you to bring up with them so i understand why you reached out i would tell you to go to therapy also sorry i know that's a consistent thing i go to, but I just don't know what's a better option. Start a business and go to therapy. Start a business. I don't know, dude.

Yeah, I don't think there's any real solution to fixing this problem. And your parents might not perceive it as a problem. I mean, to evaluate it like charitably, they might think this is just like an alternative lifestyle. Yeah. It's weird. It's weird that the dad got mad. It's weird. I would just tell the dad got mad. It's weird.

I would just tell you to detach with love, bro, and let your parents do what they're going to do. And if you need to take space, if you want to spend the next Christmas away from them while you sort through this stuff, that's okay. Hopefully at some point you come back and you guys can accept each other, but take your time, brother.

Yeah. And then reach out to his parents and be like, I don't really get it, but I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't think he needs to apologize. Yeah, I don't know. What would you do? Start a business? Yeah, I'd watch Mission Impossible.

I think that's good advice too, though. Maybe learn karate. yeah i'd watch mission impossible i think that's good advice too though maybe maybe learn uh karate yeah that's a pretty wild one sorry man hey marshall here i just wanted to start off with saying i absolutely love the pod and all the great content you guys put out thank you man thank you i'm having trouble trying to balance all of my interests because i'm on the ultimate frisbee team which takes up about the same amount of time any other sport would while trying to be successful in the classroom. And I'm almost done with my major. So the classes are getting pretty tough. I want to try to create some steady income on top of all that so I can explore my other passions like mountain biking

and snowboarding, which requires some serious cash. So essentially, my biggest issue is time and conflict of interest. Because if I quit the have to i'd have time to create some income but i feel responsibility to the team because i feel like i have a pretty large role and my teammates are all my bros should i just go full elon musk and do it all but just but deprive myself of sleep or quit the team and explore avenues in life thanks and keep inspiring others to keep up their Stoke levels. I'd maybe try to do all of them and then see if you can pull it off. That's right. Yeah. What do you think?

I was just thinking, if you drop below a 2.75 GPA, you got to quit the team. Yeah. What up, Chad and JT? Boom clap. Boom clap, Stoker. It was my 23rd birthday this past weekend,

so my boys and I took a trip to Vegas to rage and locate an unknown level of Stoke. I like that. On our last night, we hit the strip club and stayed there from trip to Vegas to rage and locate an unknown level of stoke. I like that on our last night, we hit the strip club and stayed there from one to 7am. The place had private rooms that you would be able to go to. So I took a dent in the wallet to try to sway some dimes for head and possibly more. That just cracks me up that like he specifies what he was going for sexually.

But it seems genuine, so I appreciate it. Since there was a camera, I had to live with a handy, but she seemed very into me and gave me her number and wants to visit me in Chicago. What do you think you guys would do in this situation? Let her visit you back home or avoid potential trouble? Thanks, boys, and have Strider join the pod more often. For sure on Strider.

What's the potential trouble? Maybe like, yeah, if you're in Chicago, hit me up. Yeah, I think just go for it. Yeah. I don't see any problems with it. It'll be a cool experience. Yeah, absolutely. Just be nice to her.

Yeah. Dude, my dad heard me talking one time. I tried to date a webcam. You remember this. I got infatuated with a couple of them when I was really into webcam porn. And then, um, one of them lived nearby. So I met her for coffee and I was like, she's like, what are you, what are we doing here? And I was like, I want to date you. And she's like, well, you can pay me to have sex. And I was like, ah, buzzkill. Um, she really had me fooled that like,

uh, and you know, it's my fault. Like my therapist my therapist was like dude she's not into you that's her job and i was like no i'm pretty special and then it turned out that was not the case but when i talked about it in front of my dad my dad came up to me was like hey i appreciate your follow-through that's awesome yeah that was his assessment of the situation that's awesome yeah what up savants of stoke there's been some turmoil in my squad lately and i'm not sure what to do one of my bros has been aggravating everyone with his tendency to take jokes too far. We all love to rip on each other, but this guy frequently goes past the point of joking

by being outright insulting in an unfunny way. He thinks it's all in good fun and doesn't realize that we're all starting to dislike him. Does this guy need to be put in his place, or should this situation be handled in a more low-key way? I think you need to tell him outright. Be like, that hurt my feelings. Fucking A, man.

Right? I mean, we... I guess there's always that kind of thing where you never want to be like... I don't even know what I'm trying to say there. No, I know. You don't want to be the sensitive one. You don't want to be the guy who can't take a joke.

Yeah. Dude, sometimes I feel like that's me sometimes. I'm like, dude, have I just become just like this sensitive pussy? You know what I mean i mean there's a balance you know what i mean yeah like you can get too defensive but i don't know man i like what you're saying i like going straight out and being like yo you're being mean yeah and being mean isn't cool be like like shame him a little bit yeah be like oh i'm a chode well so are you and then i think that's proportional go after him a little bit i mean dude honestly too if you

just like he might just be going through something i had friends who were lame for a couple months and then got cooler again it's just like people just go through phases but uh yeah just be proportional about it like don't like scorch earth and be like you know bring up every bad thing he's ever done just rip him a little bit yeah i had my friend john one time i was like i tried to like fight him in front of chicks. I was like, dude, I can take this guy. And I tried to like wrestle. And he beat me up.

He like flipped me upside down, put my head between his legs, and was scrunching my legs down onto my face. And he was like, what are you doing? I outweigh you by 50 pounds. And just scrunched me up. And looking back on it, he beat me up the perfect amount nice yeah like he didn't hurt me he just fucking literally put me into my place and then just let it go nice and i was just perfectly humbled i was like sorry what up dj here hey so this barista keeps trying

to bang my gf how do i know Because he always remembers her order and not mine. What's the best way to exert dominance on this coffee-grinding fuckstick? Thanks, dudes. I know you'll come through in the clutch. Baristas, dude. Sometimes you can win a war by not fighting in it. Just go to another coffee shop. Yeah.

Especially if it's like a Starbucks, go support a local business. Yeah. Yeah, go support one that uses nice straws um or maybe um yeah one that uses like cool straws not the ones that hurt turtles um back in here i hear you dude you know some of those you know you could be like are you grinding coffee are you trying to grind my woman? That's a good line. Yeah.

So maybe if your GF insists on going there still, maybe just don't say anything outright because that makes you look paranoid and jealous, but maybe just flex. Go in without sleeves and just flex the entire time. Biceps, triceps, come in there, throw up some lumber yeah what up dudes from Cheyenne Wyoming please keep me anonymous you have to throw the beeper on that one so I love to get stoked on life lessons long story short I contracted chlamydia from a lover I was bummed about the chlamydia but stoked on the newfound lesson that I should rock rubbers. Dude, nice, man.

Way to take the good with the bad. Yeah. And see the silver lining. I got drunk over the weekend and told everyone this newfound knowledge, but now my current hookup won't text me back because the whole school knows I have the clap. How do I convince her that it's all good? Maybe get some antibiotics so you clean up their chlamydia. Maybe get some antibiotics so you clean up the chlamydia. Maybe get some for her. Yeah, I think chlamydia is one of the ones that goes away, right?

Yeah. Well, get rid of it. Show her a clean sheet of health from Planned Parenthood, and then after that it's in God's hands. Yeah, make sure she doesn't have it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, hopefully she's taking care of that too. And just be, I wouldn't tell people you had it just be stoked on rubbers maybe just carry around like a bag full of them

do you remember when i made that mistake when i thought i had herpes because i had a scab on my thing and the people at plant parlor were like that's herpes and so i went home told maybe 30 people i had herpes you told me yeah three days later not herpes none of those people besides you i don't think any of those people will ever believe that i didn't have herpes once you tell people you have it that kind of gets fucking frozen the way you are you know people like hey jt how are you doing you're like i have herpes yeah i didn't want to live with shame ass clown did that one time in college like jump the gun he got blacked out and he was like he like told everyone he got chlamydia he's like kind of like stoked on it really yeah wow dude

way to frame it what were people's reactions like why are you telling us he's like because i got tested he's doing like a keg stand get your fucking mouth off the thing dude I remember who he got it from I remember who he got it from too Oh really? Cause I lived in the same house as him Right And when they were boning it was pretty hilarious Cause the sounds they were making were pretty funny

Like what were they? It was actually from Ass Clown Cause I was like Do you say that shit? He's like I heard him say like Oh yeah I was like What are you the fucking kool-aid man

dude i'm proud of you guys clown i love you i have two good overheards from uh people's sexual um experiences one was awesome my brother's buddy from college dan they heard him one time after he was done having sex with a girl go you want to kiss my little dude for all the hard work he did oh that's hilarious um funny guys is that all the questions uh yeah dude that's it stokers uh well i gotta give a birthday shout out to a stoker named caroline her brother patrick requested the shout out on instagram so happy birthday happy birthday i don't know your last name but happy birthday caroline thank you for being a stoker and thank you for listening to the pod and thank you to your brother patrick for putting in that request

thank you so much guys happy birthday caroline do we have a uh mission statement of the week yeah from rip curl oh good brand rip curl is a company for and about the crew on the search the products we make the events we run the riders we support and the people we reach globally are all part of the search that rip curl is on that's a good statement. Whoa. Dude, I think this might be the best one. That's what I was thinking. Taking Ruka down. The crew on the search. Dude.

And everything we do is part of that search. I like it. It's good. So is it official? Are we putting Rip Curl as the top mission statement? I think so. Aaron, have you been staying abreast with our mission statement rankings of surfer apparel companies do you agree that rip curl has just jumped to the front of the line

what what are you looking for in your surfer mission statement what themes are gonna like pull on your heartstrings definitely the crew yes and and stoke for sure and uh you know that they're gonna give it to me both those things i love it yeah dude providing the crew i love that aaron i knew you were a stoker this whole time you're the deepest stoker i know what up aaron oh i know i gotta give a review of the week yeah baby this comes from jeff with like a million f's nice so subject so sick i found this pod and it was unreal. A true game changer. I showed it to my family and now the whole fam is going around saying,

get rid of Schmoles and Jabow. You have changed our family forever. The whole fam's digging in? The whole fam. That's awesome, dude. Yeah. That's really cool. I'm stoked.

I hope it's a huge family. Me too. Like the grandpa's into it. I hope it's a huge family me too like the grandpa's into it i hope it's like the griswolds the grandpa comes down he's like what's for breakfast they're like pancakes he's like grandpa you're a stoker grandpa's a stoker spoke this schmall dude dude the original stoker dude you're fucking wow stoker's through time that'd be an interesting installment we should do that yeah we'll highlight stokers from the past yeah i think the right brothers said joe wow and they started flying dude you're getting up there dude he's up he's up in the air he's up in the air oh joe fucking wow baby joe wow baby we're flying holy fucking Holy fucking Jabouel, we did it, right brothers?

Yeah, because they were scientific. Yeah, and then they come in to whoever they were going to sell this shit to. Boom, clap. Boom, clap. We boked the schmole from our squad and invented flying. They boked a schmole called gravity. Dude. Aaron, you dog.

You fucking dog. That was awesome, dude. Aaron. Gravity is a schmole, too. Yeah, it is. I've long felt that way. All right, dude. Let's get into our of the weeks.

Chad. The bachelor party. Tell that guy to reach out. Oh, right. Dude, so we said on the pod that we wanted to go to your guys's bachelor parties or your um bar mitzvahs or um you know your uh baby showers whatever it is if it's a party we want to be there we want to be with the stokers and you know we'll we'll uh experience it with you so um if you are the stoker who messaged me on instagram about

your bachelor party i'm sorry i've lost the message and i just stink at like finding stuff so if you could reach out to me again uh i'm super into the idea so is chad and we'll come get stoked with you for your bachelor party it's the kentucky one right and it's in kentucky and you mentioned going to like the derby or the the preakness or one of right? And it's in Kentucky, and you mentioned going to the Derby or the Preakness or one of those wonderful parties that's supposed to just be madness. I heard they're madness. Yeah, we'd love to participate in that with you and share this special moment with you, and we're deeply

honored that you thought of us, so thank you, dude. Yeah, hit me up again. All right, Chad. Who is your Legend of the Week? My Legend of the week is Han Solo. Dude. Dude, I watched the best of Han Solo the other day.

The guy was a, he's a freaking beast. He's awesome. Just from the moment you met him. I love guys like that who are just like, you know, they just don't give a fuck, you know? And he just oozed charisma a great pilot but kind of like a shysty dude but in like a cool way you know it's like i really respect this guy he's a hero deep down but he has this cool like kind of aggro thing about him and i was like fuck

yeah dude so han solo um thank you for being. I think you're much cooler than Luke. I would much prefer to use have a lightsaber because I think you would have done a lot more cooler things with it. Not just been kind of like noble. I think you would probably would have like utilize it in like a cooler way. Whatever that means. You know, I don't know about the galaxy and stuff, but you figure that out yourself. And yeah, thank you for showing me a cool side of charisma and for showing the rest of the nation as well um and also how to um you know woo a beautiful lady like

princess leia because i think he did it well and i think that line where he's about to get frozen she's like i love you and he says i know i've tried to recreate that moment like a thousand times in my own life and i think i've gotten there sometimes but we'll see the way he's when they when they first meet him at the cantina he's sitting back and the guy's like i'm going to bring you to java hut he's like all right cool dude just shoots him yeah i love it so you think he shot first isn't there like a lot of contention over there yeah i think he shot first nice i hope so because that guy was a fucking douche who's your legend dude real quick i heard because that's a great line you know but

it makes me think about like great lines throughout history i talked about how like people who had good final lines before they died i think i mentioned like darwin although it wasn't right when he died but like che guevara was like why are you nervous you're just about to kill a man oscar wilde said like um someone he was like in a dingy motel and he was looking at the wall and he's like either me or the wallpaper one of us has to go and then he died wow dude but i had a friend who's an elementary school teacher and he told me that oscar wilde all those clever things that he said in public that have become like like the most historically witty comebacks of all time like people study study them. He said he wrote those all in advance

and then would work conversations so that he would get to drop those bombs. Oh. Much the same way you were saying he wanted to drop that I know bomb. Yeah. So like. Maybe I should create a more real moment

where I'm about to get frozen. Yeah. But Oscar Wilde did it too. He was like, he built his whole life around being like, hey, I'm going to say this clever thing today. Yeah. And then he'd like steer the conversation in that today. Yeah. And then he'd like steer the conversation

in that direction. Yeah. And then he'd drill it. Maybe I should go on like a date to like a cryotherapy place or something. Yeah. And just be like, maybe convince her.

That you're going to die? That I'm going to die. And you know, so I can create them. That's something I can think of comparable to what Han Solo went through. Yeah. Who's your legend?

My legend of the week is Jack. Jack is one of our newest bros. He runs the Going Deep with Chad and JT Instagram account. He does a fucking phenomenal job, dude. He cuts videos, puts some of the stuff we say to visuals, makes it better than it ever was before, and creates a brand new like piece of content that i'm like so pumped on and just his enthusiasm for what we do and his enthusiasm for

life is contagious and dude he's given me as much stoke as uh as i feel like you know we could ever give to him and it was just a pleasure to meet him he came out to the west coast we went out a couple nights got some drinks you know i was taking it easy and just having a couple glasses of wine i kind of wanted to push it just to celebrate with him but i wasn't there and then but dude he was a lot of fun to hang out with this great guy and um he uh we went out one night and like he he dominated i was like this is the guy like what what am i doing this is the guy i was like embarrassed i was like i gotta step up like this guy's like he's dancing better than me.

He's drinking better than me. He's chatting up with people better than me. I was like, this guy's a killer. And dude, yeah, it was a lot of fun hanging out with you, Jack. You're a great guy. And I look forward to working with you and keeping this relation going. Yeah, dude, Jack, you're a freaking legend. And I was so stoked to meet you, dude.

Had a great time with you, although I couldn't make it out Saturday night because I was out of town. I wish I had been there, but when I did meet you, you're a freaking beast. Thank you for everything you do. And dude, he approached us maybe a little less than a year ago now and he's just been killing it with that account. He crushes it.

It's amazing. Yeah, super talented, man. He's got a real flair for editing and and just like what like picking the right moments and stuff like that yeah not easy and uh he's a beast yeah thank you man all right dude chad who is your babe of the week my babe of the week is sahara ray whoa it's been a long time coming stokers if you haven't checked her on instagram check her out sahara ray mega babe like huge babe she's just like this is like a classic babe pic because she's just like the babe of all babes you know terrific looks body um you know totally my style uh she's got she knows she's tan blonde

loves the beach she seems spiritual and uh she's just a babe i mean there's not much else you can say if you check out her instagram you're like wow dude i saw her one time in person um but she was just walking by and i was like there'll be another time for this. Probably where I'm getting frozen. She'll be like, I love you, and I'll be like, I know. Wow. I was like, this isn't the time. She's that person that you want to drop that line.

Yeah, I was like, this isn't the time to drop the Han Solo line. But of all the people you could look super cool in front of, she's the one you want to look the most cool in front of at the most precious, like the most biggest time yeah nice dude that's significant sahara ray so sahara if you're listening um you know uh dm me and uh you know maybe we could go get some uh bacon oh and sahara if you want to be the guest on the pod totally welcome absolutely please come on who's your babe my babe is uh i don't know her name i'm sorry for not doing better research but um she's a young lady who was on the bar stool account on instagram 15 years old and she benched

355 dude what yes she gets under the bar does that move that power lifters do where they like kind of pull their chest up to it? Then she comes down and she just freaking fires it up. Looks like she had a great relationship with her coach. And I was just so impressed to see anybody throw up 55, especially a young lady. It's just inspiring. So I'm sorry I don't know your name, but thank you for committing yourself to a noble endeavor like lifting and doing it well and really inspiring other people out there to do the same. So you're my babe of the week.

Hell yeah, dude. Unnamed power lifter. Hell yeah. My dog, who is your beef of the week? My beef of the week is with my own impatience. I can be an impatient dude. And I've probably been impatient with you sometimes, so I apologize. Never. Okay okay thank you um but you know i think uh i uh you know i i sort of want things to come

in i'm a classic millennial you know i want instant gratification and uh i'm trying to teach myself how to just be patient and let things come. Because that's the natural process. Let things come their way, their natural way, and that's the best way for it to turn out. My beef is with my impatience. I'm just talking to you right now in my own body. Dude, fuck you. Learn how to be more patient. Hopefully that did something to my subconscious and I can be more patient.

It's nice, dude. It's very reflective yeah i just think you're just like your work ethics better than most people so it's like hard for us to keep like sometimes i'll be like a little frustrated i'm like gosh darn it man i'm like it's a lot of shit to deal with but then i'm like i'm lucky to like get to do it you know what i mean and then i like firing off emails dude you're a beast bro and then and i don't think about mike but if there was like i was thinking about this the other day actually i was like if I like firing off emails. Dude, you're a beast, bro. And then I don't think about it. But if there was like, I was thinking about this the other day, actually. I was like, if there was like a world just of Chad's, we'd probably be farther along.

Yeah, a lot of times I'm like, why aren't you? Not you, but like with people we're dealing with, I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, well, you'll do that sometimes where like we'll talk, like, who make stuff or whatever, like producers or something. And then they'll be like, so when should we do this? And you're like, tomorrow. I'm like, I look around and I'm like, I don't know if that's feasible, dog. There's, like, a lot of moving parts here. What's your beef? My beef of the week uh with people who have beef with mario lopez

thank you dude beautiful respect is not given it is earned and mario has earned it 30 years in the biz the guy finds a way to stay on camera keep getting gigs and he did it by staying hot the guy looks the same now he looks better now than he did 25 years ago as ac slater and it's a testament to diet whatever crazy you know off the books health stuff they're doing in los angeles and just like dedication dude he's shredded and i watch videos i'm a big uh you know combat sports fan. I watch videos of him sparring with Oscar De La Hoya and Canelo Alvarez. And he's not a pro boxer, but he doesn't look bad, man. He can move. And it's clear that he takes it seriously and that he knows he's not one of those guys,

but he respects those guys. And I like dudes like that. You know what I mean? He could act like he's better than stuff, but no. He's humble when he's around those those studs and i think that's cool man and i just you know mario you did say by the bell you were on pacific blue you're in that greg luganis usa network movie and now you're hosting uh shows on e and uh you do a good job at all of it man so i think you're kind of an unsung hero in the dude community,

and I just want to give you the respect you deserve, Mario. So this isn't even really a beef. This is more just me doing a legend babe about Mario, but I do feel like there's a lot of people out there who don't, who do think Mario Lopez is kind of a joke. I think a lot of people see guys like him, like him, Ryan Seacrest. They don't appreciate what they do. Yeah, there's a skill to it.

Yeah. Aaron. Yes, sir. Do you, do you, what do, what do, you know, you don't have to, you know, tow the party line. When I say Mario Lopez to you, what does that elicit? Uh, nostalgia for, for A.C. Slater. Dude. Dude, aaron you are a phenomenal stoker dude nostalgia maybe that is what it's just nice when you're nostalgic for someone too and you know they're still doing well you know and he boked that small hair

his hair has improved a great deal because he went from those curls and i'm not disrespecting curls i rock him but he had he had the mullet curls that's what you're talking about yeah and now he's got the slick comb over and it looks a lot more fashionable and fire dimples he's got great dimples he's improved way to keep improving mario i've gone on too long i'm sorry all right that's my beef with people who don't love Mario. Don't respect Mario Lopez. Quote? Yeah. Chad,

what is your quote of the week? My quote of the week is another one from Seinfeld. It comes from Kramer. When he's talking about his dog, Newman, he goes, Newman is portly. Yes,

but smart as a whip, which is, uh, I've always admired Kramer's honesty. You know, you'll admit newman's faults he's a portly fellow um he's a mailman and not a great one but he's smart as a whip and i really believe that and i thank you kramer for putting it so concisely and telling us about your dog in such a fair and honest way. And using the word portly.

Yeah. It's a funny word. What's your quote? My quote of the week is from Mystery Alaska. Strider and Bill Simmons have been talking about Russell Crowe a lot lately. I don't think that's ever a bad thing. And he's the star of the movie Mystery Alaska. It's about a town in Alaska called Mystery where all the locals play hockey

and they're phenomenal. And they have a lot of pride in how good they are at hockey. So Sports Illustrated writes an article about them saying they can beat the New York Rangers, an NHL team. New York Rangers take umbrage and then through a lot of will they or won't they,

they finally fly out to play the Mystery Alaska team. What's at stake? You know, the town's identity identity that they're good at hockey so um first period mystery comes out on the big pond ice and they start scoring goals they got the uh new york rangers on their heels but it can't be easy so in the second period new york rangers come back with physicality with rested guys and they take the lead back and they beat the fuck out of the mystery guys. So they're in the locker room afterwards, and everybody's down, and they look like they're about to just fold. So Burt Reynolds, who's the coach of the team,

goes up to Russell Crowe's character, and he says, hey, we're just going to play prevent defense, and we're not really going to try and win. We're just going to try and salvage some dignity in the loss. But he's doing this as a motivation trick to get John Beebe, Russell Crowe, fired up. So Russell Crowe goes, Burt Reynolds goes, we're beating it, and the loss but he's doing this as a motivation trick to get to get john bb russell crowe fired up so russell crowe goes burt reynolds goes we're beating it and russell crowe goes i'm not beaten then he stands up he goes hey we're in this game and he looks at all the guys and he goes

is anybody tired and they go no no john no no no and he goes is anybody fucking tired and then they go no john no they're all jacked up. And I'm just like, yeah, dude. Get in there fucking shit, Russell. Is anybody fucking tired? I love it. It's awesome, dude. When they come out and they play some fucking hockey, dude. Hockey's awesome.

Hockey's cool, dude. It's awesome. Russell Crowe, dude. He's just good at that badass shit. I wish I had played more hockey I heard Russell Crowe got drunk and he owns

a rugby team and he had the whole team over and they were all drinking and he got too drunk and he put on video of one of their games and started telling

one of the players he doesn't play with enough heart and then the next day on Twitter he apologized he's like I got too drunk last night I'm sorry for berating

this guy on the team nice classic Crowe dude Russ apologize he's like i got too drunk last night i'm sorry for berating this guy on the team nice classic crow dude russ russ you're a beast dude i didn't mean to you know put some vinegar on that sweet dish i was trying to serve up about you bro all right is that it i think that's it dude boom clap stokers stokers we are once again brought to you by douglas lubricant the best in the business guys you want to bone and you want to bone smooth and you want to bone well so when you bone you bone with douglas okay we got tons of flavors orange strawberry raspberry vanilla original anal and uh douglas is also going industrial so if you have an engine and it's squeaking there's some douglas on there okay smooth boning with the pistons dog and uh helix beer bongs for sure grab a helix chug it down and we are also brought

to you by uci baseball and their awesome pitching coach daniel babona if you're a young stud who can throw the ball or hit it and you're thinking about where to go to college you can't do any better than uci baseball they should call it uc newport beach because it's right there it's right there dudes thank you guys so much that's episode 55 yeah 55 we're going deep with chat jt check out our patreon patreon.com slash chat goes deep we are definitely planning on putting out more material on there so check it out stokers and uh thank you guys for tuning in write a review for the pod we love those and uh uh yeah that's what's up yeah not to be thirsty but i check how many reviews each podcast has and um yeah i'd love to see our number spike yeah i'm sorry i want it oh dude i want it that would give my arugula ass a rager. That's going to make chat even hornier. Rogan's at 75,000.

We're at 1.2. We're nipping at his heels, guys. We're almost there. We're going to get you, Rogan. Later, Stokers. That was fun. Yeah, that was great. If you need advice These guys

are really nice You want to know What to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, just step out and go. Because beside you, go in the dream. Go in the dream. That's the dream. Go for the team Bucks for the team Go and team Go and team