Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 60 - Alex Jones on Joe Rogan, Feeling Blue, The Rock

Episode Date: March 6, 2019

What up stoke nation, in this episode we dissect the Alex Jones/Joe Rogan episode, discuss the Rock's fire charisma, how we overcome times when we're down and how much we love busyness.  Dive on in, stokers for a wild ass ride.  Jabwow. For Going Deep tees, check out: www.chadgoesdeep.com Check out our patreon: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

What's up Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep in Chat and JT Podcast. Welcome to episode 60, my dogs. Wow. What up? Jean-Thomas, my compadre. What up, dude? Boom clap, Stokers. How you doing? I'm doing alright, man. Yeah. Hanging in. How you doing? I'm good, you know. Got through the Monday. Just tried to stay active, stay working.

What'd you get up to? got through the monday got just tried to stay active stay working what'd you get up to i freaking um i went to the gym dude i did a boxing class with andrew yeah our buddy andrew um our agent and uh did a box dude i was sore i was sore all weekend from it which muscles like my whole body oh really i think it's a full body workout it was well it was like circuit kind of training so like they're like body squats and like burpees and then punching the bag uh no jump rope which i was kind of hoping for jump rope but i mean i was fucking pouring out sweat dude it's a tough workout man yeah i um yeah i i had some of the guys over on saturday night to watch the ufc fights you were missed and then I always make my brother, whenever he's with me, do something physical with me.

Like I'll either start wrestling him. But my favorite thing to do is he either puts his hands up or I put my hands up. Yeah. And we just start hitting the mitts with our hands. Yeah. And like my brother was just drilling my hands. Yeah.

And I get lost in it. And literally it's like ASMR or something for me. Like when my hands are just hitting someone's fist and we're flowing, like all the problems seep away. And I'm like, this is how the universe is supposed to work. Oh, dude. Yeah. You're connecting with that vibration.

Yeah, dude. It's really, really nice. Yeah, I felt it doing combos. Yeah. Because they had you do combos where you hit the mitts, you know? And it's like jab, jab. Cross. Yeah, it's like jab jab cross yeah it's like jab jab haymaker that's like yeah dude throw that thing yeah uh but once i got a little complicated you did like the ducks and stuff i was like man that's uh that's it is orgasmic i thought because you

feel the way that one leads into the other and you're like whoa there's like a really nice like physical poetry to this yeah when you connect with the mitt dude oh and you're like, whoa, there's like a really nice physical poetry to this. When you connect with the mitt. Dude. Oh, and you hear that. Yeah. It's the best, dude. And they're cool. What is it called?

I forget the name. Like Sweatbox or something like that. It's like one of these CrossFit SoulCycle boxing variations, right? Yeah, very LA. Yeah. It's very LA. I love anything too LA. Yeah. Prevail Boxing. Ooh oh good name prevail boxing just getting you gotta prevail yeah dude i was hitting the bag you know uh it was fun yeah

but my whole body was sore i think because i've been doing cardio primarily so anytime you switch up the routine yeah yeah yeah you're gonna get some muscle destruction that's brand new to your body i was thinking i was watching some floyd mayweather like motivational stuff you know just like yeah and like how he works out at like three in the morning and stuff like that yeah but for me i'm like i mean that looks like paradise guy no it's all on his schedule yeah like you're just like you just work out a ton it looks awesome totally but they. But they're like, yeah, it's work ethic. I'm like, yeah, but it sounds like really fun. That's why it's hard to like, when athletes are out of shape, you're like, dude, like you're living the dream.

Like you just get to work out and then like perform physically for money. Like that's kind of great. Like I remember Raymond Felton, this NBA point guard. Yeah. He got like pretty noticeably chubby a couple of seasons. Yeah. And he was even talking to reporters one time. He's like, I've only been out of shape for one out of my seven seasons yeah i was like that's not even

you're a professional athlete yeah that's not a good ratio yeah i thought you're gonna say like one day no no he said like one season he admitted he was like yeah it was fat yeah no maybe because i associate so much pleasure with working out it's like you're just always feeling good yeah i think it'd be cool what else was floyd saying oh they're just he he was i mean it was all about the winner mindset you know like you gotta think you're the best yeah yeah like uh if i feel like running i'll just run and um all that kind of stuff like visualizing all that stuff and just like having that mindset of like being a champion he grew up in a crazy family culture too yeah i know a little bit

what yeah do you well they would show home videos and it's like there's like a barbecue and then people are boxing and women are boxing and kids are boxing and like old men are boxing it's just like it was like bred into them from birth yeah and i think there's even a story i'll get the details wrong but floyd saw someone in his family use another person in his family as a human shield when someone pulled a gun on them. Oh, yeah? Yeah. That fuck you up. It'll trigger some shit.

Yeah, I don't know what it did to him, but he's got great defense. He's like, damn. He's got the world's greatest defense. It did something. He's funny too many when he was fighting ricky hatton ricky hatton was like this like chubby not chubby he got chubby but he was a he's like a banging uh like grab you up and like rough you up kind of uh english fighter yeah and he was trying to he was saying like he was down to earth and floyd was like materialistic and he's like i don't i don't fight for lamborghini i fight so i can go have a pint with me mates at the bar yeah and then floyd's like i risk my life all the time so that i can make all this money i don't risk my life so i

can go have a point at the bar and after floyd said that i was like i think floyd might be more right than ricky yeah there's a point in the video where he's like they're like he's like yeah you know you think you get into it for the money then you get the money and you're like no it's for the love of boxing really yeah oh that's surprising yeah because he calls himself money mayweather yeah yeah dude i saw him one time on sunset oh really well i didn't see him but i saw his caravan i'm like man that's tmt baby is that what it's called tmt maybe that team money weather team i think so yeah they got team in there twice or something yeah just to emphasize yeah uh but it was like three cars that all had his fucking tmt yeah he's no he's phenomenal i mean he can block three

punches without moving yeah he just sits there and then like barely moves and he stops like a killer from landing a shot yeah i remember that fight with uh him the... McGregor, yeah, yeah. Well, no, the one before that. The Filipino guy? Oh, Pacquiao. Pacquiao. So boring. Yeah, all Floyd fights are boring.

Yeah, just technical. He just makes you miss. Yeah. That's cool. It's a weird way to be gifted, to make this violent sport not violent. Yeah. Dude, yeah, I was...

I boxed this morning with Robertbert and uh i was like kind of depressed and so like i was throwing depressed punches like i was like he's like slow like i looked like an old person but i got through it i felt better afterwards gt you good yeah he was like just punch through it just punch through it and i was like because i was like yeah i'm depressed and he was like all right let's go like i punch through it. And I was like, because I was like, yeah, I'm depressed. And he was like, all right, let's go. Like, I would just be skipping rope, and then I'd be like, supposed to do like two minutes, and then a minute in, I'd just be like, no.

Then I'd go sit down and look out the window for a minute. It's like a very emo version of working out. Yeah, that'd be a fight with the depressed boxer. Yeah. You just get in the ring, and you just get your shit tossed, and he's like, cool thing. You get hit, and then you just walk your shit tossed he's like cool thing you get hit and then you just walk over to the corner like i'm over it you can keep hitting me if you want

but i'm not gonna fight you're just getting he's just fucking wrecked you're just getting abused you're just looking out the window yeah you're like damn what's this all for yeah what else has been going on uh i watched ace ventura pet uh when nature calls last night do a great movie amazing he's dude he fucking like every scene you're like i always wonder like how much improv went into it i gotta imagine a lot yeah because he's so in the moment yeah it's crazy he was so good he's so talented yeah he shouldn't have started meditating so much dude i was thinking about it these comedic actors they don't stay comedic for very long we talked about it with like when we talked about will ferrell when he was your legend of the week

yeah yeah well it's like they have their shtick and people kind of figure it out and then they're like but i think there's also this thing of like i want to become dramatic yeah or they want to like do good for the world yeah i think it's also like humor comes at the expense of people a lot and i don't think they want to like make fun of people. They're like so sensitive. They just want to like, they want to like help, you know what I mean?

But it's not that funny to help. Like Amy Schumer, she's like so into like the activism and stuff now. Like when she started, there was none of that. She was just like a raw, filthy comic. And now she's like,

everything's about like, everything she says has an underlying importance to it which i think is it's too much yeah yeah i think the world needs more goofiness for sure i think that helps more than like pointing out all the wrong but but maintaining that goofiness seems to be tough yeah yeah it seems like once you reach a certain level of success then you start tweeting about politics yeah and you're like yeah no it's true you can't you gotta stop tweeting about dongs and start tweeting about like the election yeah people are like come on man dude i was watching old nick kroll clips from the kroll show oh dude the ref character is so goddamn funny yeah

i love ghost bouncers dude the little like asides that they do in there like Jordan Peele's another ref and they're starting to buddy up and he's like Nick Kroll's like what's your favorite M. Night Shyamalan movie and he goes signs and then Nick Kroll's character goes yup and then they just keep going they just keep like reffing the game yeah

I love in ghost bouncers in their intro he gives this look where he like turns around and he gives a duck face. And then he gives another variation of a duck face. He's so in it. It's so good. Yeah, he's amazing. I watched that like a million times in college.

What else did I watch this week? I watched a lot of Sopranos. I watched that Bob Dee documentary. That was good. That was cool. Dude, the fact they didn't perform for eight years is insane. I think that Bob Dee documentary. That was good. That was cool. Dude, the fact they didn't perform for eight years is insane. I think that's what they said at the end. Yeah, it's so wild.

Crazy. He's a weird, weird guy. Yeah. My quote of the week's from that, but he's like, he won't let you say he's anything. Yeah. Like if you're like, hey, Bob, you're like a protest singer. He's like, I'm not a protest singer.

Oh, you're a pop star. He's like, I'm not a pop star. You're like, oh, you're a folk um protest singer he's like i'm not a protest singer like oh you're a pop star he's like i'm not a pop star you're like oh you're a folk singer he's like i'm not a folk singer like he he refuses to like let anybody have any control over his story yeah that's cool yeah it is interesting i uh yeah i went out with with my gf uh for the weekend it was fun what'd you guys get up to? Her friend was in town, so, what did we do? Friday, we kept it low key. Got some,

got a couple margaritas. There's a place that has a nice deal. And then, Saturday was more kind of, got after it a little bit, which is why I missed the games. I'm sorry, the fights,

I'm sorry. Oh, don't worry, it's fine. And, it was fun. But, you know,

I was like, on Sunday, I was feeling it. Yeah. I was you know i was like on sunday i was feeling it yeah i was like uh i was like man i drank a lot dude i was i was depressed all weekend yeah yeah you knew it too but i was like just bumming yeah and i was like i don't know i like i made myself sit still and like not try to like busy my way out of it yeah and i realized that like being busy is like the best thing in the world is that dude yeah like because we had such a busy week beforehand yeah well because we were i can cut it but we were pitching like a show and it was we were meeting with all these big platforms and tv channels it was i've it's probably the it was

the biggest moment of my life up until this point yeah it felt like it It was. And the amount of focus and adrenaline that went into that. And I was just thinking about how nice it would be to like writing this show. Where you have a place to be. You go and you have that satisfying feeling of like, I got some work done. Or even like filming it. We're like blessed with this free time, but i feel like it's also a curse yeah yeah it was tough yeah i felt it too and then my dad

well my dad's getting his results back on like if um the cancer is gone tomorrow oh really yeah so i think it's bad too yeah i know that then like my love life is like just bottomless pit of fun experiences, but ultimately not sustainable. Dude, you're going to find a queen, man. From your mouth to God's ears. And then mortality stuff. I was just like, oh, man.

Yeah. Have there been any like indications? About my dad? Yeah. No, no. Well, no. I mean, he seems good. He feels good

but I don't know if that just been waiting yeah that's tough yeah we'll see but he's in good spirits yeah yeah

when I saw him he had high energy dude I mean he's a fucking beast yeah he brings it yeah I'm sure his

I'm sure his mind will kill it yeah I think dude honestly I think there's that's definitely a factor.

I hope you're right, man. I'm such a cynic. And his mind, he's just like, his mind, he's just like, fuck you. Get out of me. He's like, he's like those cells. He's like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. Figure it out.

I'm trying to optimize here. I love it. Yeah. All right, dude. So we read some articles this week. Well, first, everybody's been talking about it. Did you listen to Alex Jones on the Joe Rogan Experience? Dude, I did.

And I got to say, no matter what your beliefs are, where you stand, you got to say it was entertaining as fuck. Five hours. Dude. And I was like glued to it the whole time. I'm like, this guy is so captivating. Yeah. The first two hours I listened to him straight. Dude, when he gets mad at Eddie Bravo. Yeahvo yeah i was i was dying that was some scary stuff yeah he's like they're

killing fucking babies yeah i read more about it and like they were like they only do that if like the mother's gonna die basically yeah and they were basically changing the law from needing three doctors to give approval for the third trimester abortion to one doctor but it was it's intense scary stuff like that's a really scary notion yeah and uh yeah that's the thing about him he says stuff that is so outrageous you're like dude you're yeah you're schizophrenic and then he says stuff where you're like he's kind of making sense yeah i think joe rogan put it well too where he's just like he's like i'm glad we did this because people see that it's like fun hanging out with him yeah which is like what i gathered i'm like you know it'd be really fun to grab a beer with him yeah because i don't watch info wars i only listen to him on joe rogan i mean when i thought he was like harassing the sandy hook parents i was

like that's a bridge too far like if bad shit happens to you because of that you kind of have it coming yeah but he walked all that back i don't know but i still think if you put him on a lie detector test yeah he would believe that sandy hook was a hoax yeah but i think he realizes that that's just not a it's a route to nowhere yeah i don't think he thinks it's a battle he's gonna win so he's like kind of smartly just uh giving it up yeah oh for sure that's how of how i felt too he's like he's talking about like this is the alex in 2019 yeah dude i love when i love that there's that sound bite where he's like look joe i'm gonna be honest with you i i'm kind of retarded yeah that was really funny if he's ever had a head injury and he's like well this guy slammed

me on the ground did the pile driver and it broke the concrete all his stories from childhood are like and joe's like i don't think you're a liar but i was like dude yeah yeah he's like i was 14 years old i was sleeping with a 19 year old and her dad was the uh chief strategist for like exxon mobile and i went over to his house and he told me son you seem like a good kid you're strong you're virile we want you in the group but the only thing is you have to give your soul up to satan and i said no way and i'm like that really yeah and the part where he's like you like having sex with my daughter me too yeah like what dude and he doesn't have like one experience like that he has like 10 yeah that he just tells over the course of that one podcast yeah where he's talking about like with his parents his dad's like to his mom he's like whatever his mom's name is like trish

he's like trish i mean it's all real i mean they're cyborgs they're making cyborgs and they just implant the chip i'm like you heard your dad talk about yeah it's all happening at ut there's a there's a nuclear reactor underneath the campus and you're like what i thought that was endearing how much he loved his dad yeah he was like my dad doctor super smart guy yeah i was like oh that's nice yeah yeah there is something about listening to him where it's just like it's kind of an escape i think if you don't take it too seriously yeah that's the thing but then there's i i just like there's so many people who do take him seriously yeah that it's tough but he is independent of that like independent of his

influence when you listen to him you're like this is amazing yeah and just the fact that he can maintain that energy for five hours is like incredible yeah yeah there is something about the passion i wanted joe because he accused joe rogan of like uh working for the cia and like having george soros like in an earpiece or something like that yeah and Joe didn't really they kind of brushed over it yeah yeah yeah I was uh it was funny how he how quickly he switched back to being like boys buddy they were so buddy buddy yeah they're like you know I love you buddy right and you have you seen the clips of him accusing him? Yeah, they're insane. It sounds like he's going to like go to like fight to the death with him. Yeah, it's hilarious.

My buddy who's a really smart guy, he's a doctor. He went to Harvard. But he's kind of like conspiratorial. He asked me about it. And he says, he was asking me about it and i said uh like there's a part of me that like wants to banish him because he's like a threat to civility but i'm blown away by what a compelling talker he is like his emotion combined with his unbelievably complex insane conspiracies combined with his actually few good points and shocking evidence

it's kind of amazing yeah and then my friend said fascinating it, fascinating, it's amazing. He said, like in medicine, we learn about schizophrenia and different classifications and he probably has a schizotypical personality, but he lacks the disorganization which speaks to an intelligence. And like you almost said,

every historical reference he makes is accurate. And even from personal experience, he's connecting dots. Consciousness in the universe is an interdimensional spacecraft and our bodies are antennas, but also reservoirs of our ancestors' memory both good and bad like genetic spirit

armor i mean it's yeah dude yeah that stuff about the your uh your body being you know you have that you're carrying what your ancestors yeah like uh recollection all that kind of stuff it's interesting it's cool it's kind of optimistic yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because my perspective is always like, no, it's like you're just what you are right now and then that's it. Yeah. And then it's over. Yeah.

But he actually kind of has this beautiful version of the universe where everything's connected. Yeah, it's like everything's regenerating. Yeah. Yeah, because it all comes from the same stuff. I love it when he's like, they're in cahoots with the aliens. What you have to understand is that the DNC

has been working with the aliens for the past 30 years they're giving up all of our data so that they can metamorphosize our bodies into you know hubs for their uh freak pedophiles you're like okay you're like yeah that is what it is right yes yeah they're demons god when he's talking about uh alec baldwin there's one clip it's not from the jericho i know though you showed it to me yeah it's so funny he's talking about Alec Baldwin There's one clip It's not from the Joe Rogan episode I know though You showed it to me Yeah It's so funny

He's like Fuck what did he say He's like I liked him as an actor Glenn Gary Glenn Ross Yeah Yeah Glenn Gary

Glenn Ross I'll fight you You coward Yeah Dude he takes his shirt off And he starts going He's like I pray to God

That I I thank God Every day That I'm not with these Hollywood pedophiles And freaks. He's like, look at that sniveling little bastard. Yeah.

He's like, you'd get me up and hang me in front of my kids, wouldn't you, you son of a bitch? Yeah. I'm like, dude, he's just like hosting a radio show. His passion is so. Aaron, did you listen to it? No. What's your take on Alex Jones? It's like yours in that, like,

yeah, I don't want to see censorship happen, but when someone controls such a large audience on the fringes, and they're harassing someone else, it's like you shouted fire in a movie theater. Yeah, it's so hard to say what the line should be you know yeah because because is there actual this i haven't seen him actually say harass the sandy hook parents no he certainly doesn't tell them to do it but but just by giving fuel to those kind of like paranoid thoughts it kind of enables those people yeah yeah i think so

it's tough man because i like it's like is that sort of in the same camp of like blaming marilyn manson for like uh columbine stuff or is it more closely connected because he's speaking directly to the the thing that's agitating these people i mean he's literally i mean his followers are harassing victims. Yeah, that is hard. Nothing Marilyn Manson ever did, you know. Was in that ballpark. Was in that ballpark.

I mean, he created art and people blamed him for a tragedy. That's, this is a response to a tragedy, I suppose, you know. What do you think about Joe Rogan having him on? I mean, as long as Joe doesn't let him just say stuff and not check it not check it ever yeah then then i'm all for it you know yeah i guess that's the core question is it good for joe rogan to have him on i i don't know it's good i liked it it's good for me because i'm entertaining yeah exactly yeah yeah i don't think joe cares what anyone thinks about it yeah he's got fuck you money and he's like man i'll do my thing yeah awesome it's a lot of responsibility though yeah i think so um and you kick the lever and hang me in front of my kids won't you you son of a piece of garbage

that's what it was he's he's gonna say son of a bitch but uh he can't say it on the radio right he's like and you hang me in front of my kids won't you you son of a piece of garbage that's funny yeah did you read the uh jeff bezos article i did yeah so jeff bezos everyone knows this he's uh the richest man in the world he runs amazon and he's going through kind of a uh ugly situation right now where he was having an affair with his wife on his wife uh with um lauren sanchez who is actually married to the head of wme yeah full disclosure our agent used to be her husband's assistant patrick Whitesell. Are they divorced now? No, they're still married. Oh.

And she was married to Tony Gonzalez before that, so she's dated some cool guys. Yeah. But, yeah, and then, like, the National Enquirer tried to, he alleges that the National Enquirer was going to release dick pics of him and salacious texts unless he paid up some money, but instead of doing that, he just wrote a piece about how they were trying to do that.

It's a smart move by him. But it's weird to see this guy, he's like the most powerful man in the world, going through this kind of public embarrassment. Yeah, my favorite quote from the article is, Jeff Bezos has gone from a low-key, geeky Seattle dad to a chiseled presence on the red carpet. Yeah, have you seen the way his

looks has shifted yeah he's gone full Hollywood yeah because he when I watched a story from like 1999 with him where he had like a fading hair up top and he was like much geekier looking now he's got like the perfectly like shaved dome and he looks much fitter and stuff like that his suits are well tailored yeah the allure it's he's caught up in it i know he's he's he's given into the drama yeah it's like he was like kind of because they're talking about how he's kind of like uh it was all about the customer and like this sort of wanted to stay unknown in a way and now he's kind of like yeah he had that good they had that good quote where they said the customer always has like uh the empty seat an empty seat at the board meeting yeah yeah so it's interesting i wonder

what his uh maybe he's bored yeah and then he had that he has this uh regret minimization framework that's what he uses to make decisions in his life like before he started amazon he basically went home and ruminated on whether he should leave his like already good paying job to start amazon and he was like all right which am i going to regret more in 80 years that's basically how he makes all of his choices yeah so maybe he used that and he was like look i'd rather have an affair right now do you then not do it do you think he's changed that much or do you think now that like because there seems to have been a lot more attention on him as of late just just because of who he is. And sort of the rise of Amazon and people sort of painting them as like the enemy.

So you think he's changed that much? Or you think now the media is kind of going after him? Oh, so you think it's just more attention, basically? Like he's doing all the same shit? Well, I'm just wondering if you... No, it's a good question. I don't know. I think... I think,

I think he is different. Yeah. I don't know enough about him to really say that, but the, the scope of the things that he has now is so much more vast than it was that I think that does change you. Yeah. Like now he owns the Washington post.

He owns like this huge streaming platform. He owns whole foods. He owns the biggest like. He owns his huge streaming platform. He owns Whole Foods. He owns the biggest online retailer in history. And now he's also having these public feuds with the president and with all these monster figures. It's like that's got to do something to you. Interesting. Yeah.

It reminds me of in the movie Casino, Sam to you. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I just, it reminds me of it in the movie Casino, Sam Rothstein. Oh yeah. Where he's like the best at just like running the casino. He's like so on top of it. He's so into the details, but then at a certain point it goes to his head and then he has a talk show.

Yeah. And it's like the worst talk show ever. And everyone's like, why the fuck do you have a talk show? Yeah. And he it gives me a platform it lets them know they can't mess with me and like i feel like jeff bezos is in like that stretch of his career he's having his talk show yeah he's having his talk show right now and everyone close to him is like dude just go back to being behind the scenes but he's like once you get that taste of being in front of the camera it's a good feeling maybe maybe he's uh gonna have his own show on amazon like jacuzzi time with jeff and it's just he has people come in jacuzzi with him

i'd watch the fuck out of that so chelsea handler what's going on dude that'd be awesome yeah in the jacuzzi with him and elon musk yeah him and alex jones in the jacuzzi oh dude oh man that'd be amazing i mean you'd want to watch it. That's the thing. Dude, Alex Jones just flexing on him the whole time. Yeah. Alex Jones fucking... The way he always wants to fight when he's on those things. Yeah.

Where he's like, Eddie Bravo, choke me out. Yeah. Come on, Joe. Karate kick me in the head. Come on, I can take it. Yeah, dude. He's like, I got high testosterone. I drink bone broth.

Have you listened to his supplements that he sells? No. The commercials are like... He's like, I got high testosterone. I drink bone broth. Have you listened to his supplements that he sells? No. The commercials are like, now we have bone broth. The way he says it is so funny. Right. Dude, and then we read this article about The Rock. We're reading about a lot of high-intensity dudes today. Yeah.

Dude, The Rock. This was a couple years ago. It was a profile for GQ written by Katie Weaver. Dude, she is a hilarious writer yeah that opening paragraph can I read it real quick

yeah when Dwayne Johnson meets you and I can assure you he would love to the first thing he will do is ask you 6,000 questions about yourself

and remember the answers forever if you are a child good luck getting past Dwayne Johnson without a high five or some simulated roughhousing

if you're in a wheelchair prepare for a Beowulf style epic poem about your deeds and bravery Good luck getting past Dwayne Johnson without a high five or some simulated rough houses, rough housing. If you're in a wheelchair, prepare for a Beowulf style epic poem about your deeds and bravery composed extemporaneously delivered to Johnson's Instagram audience of 85 million people. If you're dead, having shuffled off your mortal coil before you even got the chance to meet Dwayne Johnson, that sucks. Rest in peace.

Knowing that Dwayne Johnson genuinely misses you. Dude, a true powerhouse of charisma. Dude, he's a force, dude. Yeah. And I like how in this article she starts off very tongue-in-cheek, making fun of his larger-than-life can-do attitude. But then by the end of it, she's kind of won over by it.

And she's like, I would not bet against this guy being president. Yeah. That's always a quality that all those big guys seem to have. Like him, Bill Clinton, this ability to make people feel like they're his best friend. The center of their universe. Yeah. I think for politics, you got to have that quality. Yeah.

George Will, one time on Alec Baldwin's podcast, he was like, Richard Nixon was not well-suited for politics because he hated people. yeah yeah yeah you gotta like people you gotta want to be around people a lot yeah and then i mean i liked how the rock loves to work out i loved hearing about that no surprise there did you guys know that the rock likes to work out yeah before he if he's on if he has a movie set he has a call time 7 a.m he's up at three how's he up so much i don't know dude like yeah because like how does he go sleep he'll do like 18 hour shoots and just i don't know because he looks so good his skin looks good he doesn't look tired he's always just like doing videos in front of his freaking uh what are those called it's not a treadmill it's not a stairmaster elliptical he's in his front

of his elliptical he calls it bertha he's like yeah bertha just took me for a ride it was tough huh bertha and he's like he'll like do the voice of his fucking elliptical i'm like you're such a corn dog but yeah he is uh but he's you know you gotta respect the hustle i do like his tenacity and he had that sort of like he didn't make it he was in the cfl got cut i had seven bucks to my name but i just knew and then he just started going after wrestling yeah and they didn't like him in wrestling at first yeah they thought he was corny and then he stuck with it and he became you know he's very arnold like yeah absolutely a lot like arnold that's why i think he could be president yeah you think he'd be a good president? I have no idea.

But he just has the ability to get there. I think he has the ability to get there for sure. Yeah. I think, I will say this, he might not be the worst one. I wonder, I want to go to his gym. Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah. He lives in Florida most of the time.

Yeah, near the Everglades where they said uh a lot of former athletes like to live because they want a taste of the country life but still be close to miami yeah that appealed to me yeah that sounds smart yeah that's smart what i like do you like what they said about his smile that his smile is so powerful that they can't deploy it in a movie before the third act or the audience won't be worried that things are going to go bad i miss that part yeah they're like you have to be careful if you put his smile in a movie like and he has to go rescue his wife after that if he smiles before he rescues her they'll know she's going to be rescued because his smile disarms you that much makes you feel that safe

dude is big yeah man how tall is he six four it's not that tall no it's still normal human yeah he's like at the cusp once you get above that you start getting into like well you're How tall is he? 6'4". It's not that tall. No, it's still normal human. Yeah. He's like at the cusp. Once you get above that, you start getting into like, well, you're really tall. Yeah. That's cool. Aaron, you think The Rock would be a good president?

Maybe the character of The Rock from WWE. Oh. Really? Because he'd people's elbow foreign dignitaries? At the very least, yeah. What if he was Hobbes from Fast and Furious? I have not seen a Fast and Furious since the first one. What?

I actually respect that. You've only seen the first one? Keeping it original. Yeah, and reluctant at that. You didn't want to see that one? Wrong thing to say. Wrong podcast to say that to. What movies do you watch? Oh, dude.

Oh. Other ones. Oh, dude oh other ones right yeah there's a lot out there not not all artsy that's for sure because some of that stuff is yeah i was gonna say do you watch like the conformist you watch like bernardo berlecci movies or something no no you watch like 80s movies like midnight run or something like that for sure yeah okay what about armageddon i like it good yeah that is it's a good movie it is a great movie that that movie makes me feel good even though it's apocalyptic you got bruce you got owen you got ben you got uh it's fun guys to go out with michael clark duncan michael clark duncan steve

buscemi it's i would love will patton if the world was ending i'd want to hang out with that ragtag group of yeah they Yeah, they're a good crew. Yeah, I'd get on that ship and, yeah, it'd be so fun. AJ! When he's trying to shoot him with the gun. Yeah. Everyone's just loosely calming him down. He's boning with Tyler.

All right, Harry. I'm a grown woman, Harry. Calm down, Harry. Harry, seriously. Steve Buscemi gave me my first tampon. Hey, I'm... Yeah. That was weird. Yeah. Steve Buscemi gave me my first tampon Hey Yeah That was weird

That would have caused a bigger tangent in my life If I was living that scene out Explain that to me Steve I don't know if you could put that scene in a movie today No dude there's so much of that I was watching this old Clint Eastwood and Jeff Bridges movie Called Thunderbolt and Lightfoot

Which is supposed to be like a buddy action movie from the seventies. You watch and you're like, all that is fun to these guys is mistreating women. And that's the whole movie. All right, dude, should we get into some questions? What up bro? Chachos, Hermosa Beach reaching out. Oh, nice dude. South Bay. How quickly in a relation do you feel comfortable with hanging dong? I'm talking purely from a flaccidity perspective. We all get the confidence of a cannon fully locked and loaded, but soft donging isn't dank for any of the parties involved.

A priest of prospect. Bro Montana. Dude, I know where he's coming from, man, because it can be tough. I mean, you know, to show flaccid dong, but I think the earlier you do it, the better. Yeah, I don't know if there's a magic number on when is the time to do it. I think it's just confidence. This is one where I'm not... Yeah, I've just always been comfortable.

Yeah, I was looking at you talking, I'm like, you don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah yeah i've always been comfortable slushing my little dong so yeah hermosa beach i'm gonna have to say a week i uh yeah or or don't force it you know wear sweats until you feel comfortable yeah i always be erect yeah yeah that's that's that'd be cool um i. I also think it depends who you're with, you know? For sure. I remember one time this girl was like, I just don't feel comfortable with my body. And I was like, neither do I. And she was like, you seem comfortable.

And I was literally butt naked lying on her couch. Neither do I. And I was like sprawled out with my hand over my head. And she's like, you seem comfortable. But I was more sexually experienced than her by a good margin. If maybe if I had felt like a little bit like more intimidated by her experience, maybe I would have been a little more gun shy with flashing the piece. Yeah.

It's tough though. So I'd say a week. A week. With someone you're dating. what's up dudes i'm in a creative english class and i pay this guy danny to write my essays because i'm too horny for homework he gave me the newest one that's due tomorrow and it's an erotic fan fiction super graphic do i turn it in you think this guy's gonna make it through college sorry i mean you probably you'll figure it out you say he's too horny for homework You think this guy's going to make it through college?

Sorry. You'll figure it out. You say he's too horny for homework? Yeah, I know what he means. But you got to figure it out, dude. I'd say whoever you're paying to write your essays probably knows you well. And if you're a horny guy and you, I'd turn it in.

The teacher would be like, wow, this guy's really being honest with himself. Yeah. Yeah. The teacher might appreciate your candor yeah and respect your uh lack of uh self-consciousness yeah i am paul thomas anderson who i think is like one of the best american filmmakers when he went to nyu he only went for a little bit and what triggered him quitting school

was he um the teacher asked for like a writing sample and he submitted david mammett's writing like from like one of his most popular plays and the teacher gave him back a c oh and then he was like this is a joke like what am i even doing you just gave a c to like one of the best pieces of like an american playwriting yeah and so maybe if this kid turns it in he gets an a he knows he should drop out of college i like that um what's up stokers i come to you with this question i recently met this cute babe at a party and not much was said to each other until we started hooking up but we still enjoyed each other's company throughout the late night sharing very heartfelt laughs the morning after she says that she wants to continue seeing me and made it clear that she

wants to pursue me which is great and all but and all but my only concern is that she has piercings and occasionally does blow nothing against piercings it's just something that i haven't considered should i let these outer extremities affect my thoughts on her or should i roll the dice and venture onto this new territory i'd like to remain anonymous thanks for all the advice keep the pods coming in dude i wouldn't rush too hard too quickly the judgment you know um unless you think her behavior is going to affect your life in a negative way and you're going to not going to be able to resist it and take some time to get to know her and then decide i agree with you 100 yeah it could be an amazing relation yeah i mean a little blow piercings yeah that sounds par for the course yeah she sounds cool yeah that

sounds like it sounds like a cool trick yeah it could be worse yeah yeah it could be a lot of blow and instead of piercings pistols or. Or like horns. Yeah, exactly. You could have horn implants. Yeah. Then you know that you're dealing with like a full-on devil. Think about how blessed you are. Yeah. Hope this technological blast catches you

in a most excellent state of stoke. Over the past few months, I've been dealing with a situation that has left me in a distinct and confusing emotional funk. About a year ago, I met this girl who happened to dig on the gentler gender. She is by far the coolest girl I have ever met. And over time, she's become an excellent addition to the squad because she was into chicks and even had a girlfriend at the time.

It was super easy to be homies with this rad female stoker. We quickly became each other's best friends and spent vacation time flying to visit each other's parents, cribs and met each other's families. Following a night of raging with the squad, we ended up in the same bed and she made a move on me. I didn't want to lose my best friend, so I kind of played it off, even though I really started to feel something emotionally. The next day, she admitted that she'd had feelings for me for a while. A little later, she broke up with her girlfriend

and we started to spend a lot of time together. She still really felt bad for bokeying her girlfriend and she ended up trying to squash their beef. In the process, they started dating again, leaving me without my best homie. She told me that we had to break contact and then we couldn't be friends for a while this left me super bummed and every day felt like a rainy one after a while she hit me up to say that she was sorry for cutting off all communication and that she'd been feeling super guilty she told me she valued me as a friend and missed the stoke that we shared we started

talking again like nothing had ever happened. Stoke was restored. The next day she hit me up to say that because it went down between me and her and because she still has her girlfriend, we probably won't be able to be good friends again. She wished me a good life and said goodbye. She sounded super bummed and I could tell it was very tough for her to do this. I've been pretty depressed on this for a while because I lost my best friend. Even if we can't be in a relationship, I miss my homie. My dogs all tell me to forget her and move on, but I don't want to forget the awesome times we had.

I know there isn't really anything I can do at the moment, but I'm still stuck on this lady. Any advice on how to mentally view this situation a little better and get back to higher levels of stoke? I'd like to remain anonymous. That's tough. I feel for him. You know,

they say that every relationship is a chance to grow. So on how to mentally view it I'd say be grateful for what you guys had maybe get over some space and try and reconnect in a little bit just be stoked on the good times you had

sounds to me like they're in love yeah I feel like there's no next move, really. I mean, who can predict these two crazy kiddos? Yeah. And it's easier said than done, but if I were you, man, I would just strap in and try to enjoy the ride. Yeah, because I feel like you guys are on this roller coaster for life,

and there's going to be some ups and downs, but in the end, it'll be fun. They're probably going to be engaged next week. Stoke restored, guys. We're going to an Elvis wedding chapel. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and I'll support you in that. What's up, good Stokers? You guys give me genuine laughs,

and for that, I am grateful. Keep doing you, and don't look back. One of my closest friends is an absolute babe who I met during an abroad trip to Italy. We had a couple drunk makeouts, and the closest thing to a threesome, to a three-way I've had, but did the deed anyway we have remained close friends and ever since and i value our friendship greatly i never felt a strong feeling to try to be with her but

maybe i'm holding back my question is do i see if there is something there just play it cool as friends or let something happen organically i don't want to ruin a fantastic friendship but i feel like maybe it's worth a shot because she is amazing however i feel like if there was something there maybe it would have happened because i know she had a crush on me in the past and maybe now thanks for the weekly stoke dude you gotta go for it man yeah maybe she's waiting for him to make the move you know i completely agree you just gotta ask her out yeah go to a freaking red robin and have some steak absolutely what, dudes? I'm a long time listener of the pod. I freaking love you guys so much. You don't even know. Anyways, a lot like you, JT, I'm a recovering porn addict,

and I try my best to jizz out of my dick via DreamWorks rather than Pixar. Very nice. That's an analogy. Yeah. I've been doing a great job of staying off the hub, but I now suffer from a greater temptation. I want to bone my cousin. She lives right down the hall from me and I don't know, just out of nowhere, I've been wanting to bone my cousin. Should I keep finding the temptation to bone or just give in and start boning my cousin? Also, I am afraid that if I do start boning my cousin,

my other cousin, who is like a brother to me, will be really pissed off at me for boning his sister. Thank you both so much for the great wisdom and as always, fuck Puzio. Dude, thank you for your question. I wouldn't bone his cousin yeah I um I've been attracted to my cousins before and the times where I was attracted to my cousins were the times when I had very few options outside of my cousins. I think you should, because you're right. It's going to affect the entire family. This isn't

a decision that happens, you know, and it's not a decision without ramifications. There's going to be some weird ones. So he's also talking like his cousin's down already. Yeah, we don't know that for sure. But I'd work harder to meet people outside of your family tree. Watch, like, Sleepless in Seattle or, like, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and find your Mila Kunis.

And to the fuck Puzio thing. You know, I thought... You know, at the end of... Puzio was a kid i fought in high school and some of the stokers say fuck puzio now which you know is complicated for me because i'm glad they're on my side but at the same time it was years ago and i i uh i was over it but then some of my friends showed me a picture of puzio and he looks good. Good how? Like he looks kind of interesting. He's got long hair and a beard and he seems like he's living kind of like a free immersive life.

Like yoga? It pissed me off because I thought he was going to be fat. And if he was fat, let bygones be bygones. But he looks good. He looks fit and ready for the fight. Where is he at? So now I'm jacked up. Where is he? I don't know, but I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be that guy, but I'm pumped. I'm jacked. I'm ready.

Interpret that as you will. Is this a formal call out? I don't want to go there, but I'm ready. Look, I didn't make the first move the first time we fought. He started the fight. Well, you know that make the first move the first time we fought. He started the fight. Well, you know that photo he took was a personal attack on you. You think that? Mm-hmm.

What makes you say that? Well, how'd your friends get it, for one? Why do you look so good? I think my friends looked him up on Facebook and stuff. Oh, for sure. I thought he sent it to them. Give this to Par. Look how good I'm doing.

I'm fucking free. I'm doing yoga every day kundalini bitch dude if he did that i wouldn't be here right now recording i'd be on the road on the way to his fucking house you'd be in your prius you send a photo yourself to my friends to fucking threaten me dude that's the move dude if you're looking good dude i was when my friends were like hey do you want to see this picture of puzio i was like no and they're like he looks good i said let me see it because i thought he was gonna look bad yeah i thought i thought the fight changed him for the worse and so i didn't want to make it worse but now that i know he's happy maybe happier than i am but would still use fucking rings in the fight

you think he would yeah you think he's still got that that in him to reach low like that and do something dirty to win dude a beard doesn't change that I'll train you we gotta have him on the pod I'll train you i think what we should do is he and i talk it out and then if at the end of the pod we decide we still want to mix it up they got a big

space here i'll make you do jump rope to train yeah i gotta get over this depression start training there's no room for depression if i'm in mortal combat with my worst enemy dude once you get into mortal danger you're gonna fucking it'll bounce out of it you'll punch your way out of it yeah as vortree said you just gotta punch your way out baby just keep throwing those hands all right my squad and i've been debating this for some time and you need you to weigh in to end the discussion once and for all do you think chewbacca has a human dick or one of those red rocket things that dogs get when excited george lucas hasn't responded to our outreach to this important topic thanks tim dude tim thank you for your question I gotta go Red Rocket.

Oh. I mean, otherwise, I can't see him having a human hairless dong. You know? So I think it's a human dong, but I don't think it's hairless. You think it's covered in fur? I think it's covered in fur.

He has a furry human dick. But do, like, so then do, like, female Chewbacca's have, like, a furry vagine? Yeah. Oh. That's gross. I guess. Dude, imagine them boning.

He already sounds like he's boning whenever he talks. Yeah. How does Chewbacca sound? I'm calming. I think it would feel good if it was furry. Oh, what, like a chinchilla? If someone massages your head, it's nice. Yeah.

That is interesting. Maybe you wouldn't need much lubrication. Yeah. Dude, good clash. I'm surprised George Lucas didn't get back to him yeah he's up his own butt hey bros I love the pod it does so much for me in terms of stoke

but that has taken a hit and I will cut right to the chase I'm 16 years old and I fear I may have gotten my girlfriend knocked up I don't know for sure and I am extremely worried we are fairly confident neither of our families will support us and we are not sure what to do again we do not know for sure. But with the late period and other small things associated with pregnancy,

we are extremely afraid. Please help me lift my stoke during these stressful times. Love, the pod, and you bros. That sucks. I think this is way above our pay grade. Yeah. I think one thing we can say is wear a condom. Yeah, good message. wear a condom. Yeah, good message.

Wear a condom. To the other Stokers, wear a condom so you don't have to deal with this situation. I can't tell you what to do, man. I'm sorry. I just don't know you. And, yeah, you're too young and precious for me to say what what you should do yeah it's too yeah maybe this guy should seek out like a school counselor or something yeah there's got to be someone he can talk to yeah who can he talk to well i just know that uh coming from us i'm

at least me i'm praying that she's not i hope she's not yeah i hope you guys dodge a bullet here and you and you get smarter because of it yeah but um if she is you need to find an adult in your life that you can trust and talk to and seek their counsel yeah and uh yeah maybe we'll we'll hit you up uh off channel and try to help facilitate that but uh we can't make that decision for you, my friend. I'm sorry. What's up, bro? Super Dyer Sitch here. Me and my bros are stationed in Japan. We're out of Pendleton.

Long story short, I blacked out at some Japanese country bar and was carried home by some strangers I apparently met. Nothing unusual. My roomie put me into my bunk, top bunk, and went to bed on the bottom bunk. I woke up and clearly the atmosphere was super tense. My other roomie told me I woke up, climbed off my bunk, and let loose a solid stream of Japanese whiskey piss all over my roomie on the bottom bunk. To add insult to injury, I climbed back into my bunk and went to bed.

I apologize, but both our stoke is clearly hampered by this sitch. It doesn't help our other bros yell, why does it smell like piss every time we're in the same room? but both our stoke is clearly hampered by this sitch it doesn't help our other bros yell why does it smell like piss every time we're in the same room which is hilariously which is hilarious but ob slaps my bro's ego how do i repair this bond with my bro which has been tarnished you could offer to let him pee on him yeah i always think that's good yeah eye for an eye um in penance is okay yeah i think uh yeah you're in this guy's debt you got to make it up to him concerts movie nights a shoulder to cry on whenever he needs it yeah and for life yeah yeah

you know if you're a wizard you know you got to pay your debts. And either it comes in, you know, the form of P or constant gifts. All right, this kid's going to prom. I have a bit of a sitch that could ruin my vibe before spring break. To preface, my ex-girlfriend broke up with me back in November, and it was a pretty serious relationship. For a month or so afterwards, I was trying to get over it any way I could. That being said, I was asked to prom and accepted so i could officially move on after agreeing to go i found out my ex girlfriend was going to be on the prom bus with me in addition to everyone else on the bus are

schmoles including my date what should i do to enjoy my prom and set a good tone for spring break which starts the day after your boy reggie did he just say his date's a schmole, too? Yeah. Yeah, I know. Just fucking dance, dude. Dude, good advice, man. Just, yeah, have fun. Yeah. Be nice to your date and have fun. Break it down the dance floor.

Yeah, it's still up to you. You still have the opportunity to have a good time. Yeah. I don't know if there's a specific trick. You know, maybe try to get your hands on the auxiliary cord. Yeah. Maybe learn a move. You know, you can go on YouTube and learn specific moves. Smart.

You know, Michael Jackson moves are probably pretty controversial right now. So I don't know about that. But, you know, just look up some, you know, watch Step Up. Learn a Channing Tatum move and fucking bring it to prom. Dude, you'd get the vote for prom king. Like, you'd steal it from whoever just got elected. That's great advice. What's up, fellas?

Big fan of the pod and thanks for keeping the stoke tank full at all times. I have a little situation. So I currently live in New Jersey, but I moving to florida at the end of april i've been telling my friends and they seem to be pretty amped for me for the most part however there's this one girl i used to work with who doesn't seem to be taking the news so well we've gotten pretty close and we hang out quite a bit but never have hooked up or anything now she's asking me to basically spend all my life with her which i'm obviously not going to do we hung out last night went out to the bars got, and went back to her place. I had a feeling we were about to get it on.

We were watching True Detective, and I look over, and this chick is masturbating on the couch next to me, not trying to be discreet about it. I thought to myself, let's make a move. I try to slide in and get hit with an abrupt no. I'm trying to figure out if I'm being friend-zoned so hard or if this chick is batshit crazy. Or maybe she was turned on by Marsha Hala Ali's phenomenal acting. for my pronounce on the name there at the end of the day i don't really care since i'm moving but damn am i confused peace and love stokers um true detective is a good show so i'm not surprised at her reaction so maybe it's the show whoa yeah i don't think you're being friend-zoned.

Yeah. I don't know a lot of friend-zone anecdotes that are, she masturbates in front of me but won't let me help. I don't think I've ever heard a story where a friend of yours, you look over and is masturbating. Right. That's kind of a not-quite-friend, not-quite- not quite girlfriend it's in a gray zone yeah um dude i think this girl is uh you know wild and she's probably got a big heart and some

issues but uh those people are wonderful and uh i'd just be nice to her and be happy it happened uh chad will tell you i brought a uh gal to uh we went to jimmy tat birthday and I thought it'd be, I'd be impressed this girl by bringing her to the party. And I thought I'd look cool at the party by bringing this girl. And, uh, she was a wild one. It was hilarious. I mean, she was dancing right when we got in there in a very skimpy outfit and she was moving and gyrating and, and then she'd make eye contact with strangers. She'd stick her tongue out. And it was exciting.

And at first she was all over me. And as the night progressed, I couldn't quite keep up with her. And then at one point she was just dancing on top of a girl on top of a couch. So it was pretty visible. And they were just grinding for 20 minutes. And I looked a little derpy just watching. And I went up to her and I said, hey, I'm tired. I think you're ready to hit it.

And she said, I'm going to stay with this girl. She's like, did I not tell you I was bisexual? And I was like, no. She's like, well, I am. And then I just decided to hang in there. I was like, I can do this. I can hang in there. I can take some hits and still come out on top.

And so I spent the rest of the night with her. And she was getting dry humped by women and men. And, you know, I tried to get on the other side of the guys and make eye contact with them and let them know I wasn't going anywhere. And one guy even just grabbed her butt, and I gave him an angry look like, you're just going to grab her ass? And then without missing a beat, he grabbed my ass too. That's a good move. He was smart. I didn't know what to do.

I was like, oh oh he does it to everybody now i can see why you're at this party yeah then i ended up convincing her that we should go back to her place together we get there we make out um i find a condom on the floor i pick it up to make fun of her a little bit she grabs the condom says this is a good thing don't quite know what she means by that and then she gets on the phone with two burly dudes they sounded burly and they're like hey what's up it's derek should i come up she's like yeah come up she's like my friends are coming up and i said i gotta go now am i in the friend zone with her i don't know i'd say it's uh it's a different thing altogether i don't think you are but i was i'm

just glad you didn't run into those dudes in the elevator i was worried dude i was nervous leaving you'd be like trying to leave and they like sort of both grab you i thought they were gonna grab me under the arms right and walk me back in yeah yeah that's what my fear was completely yeah she was like what's going on why are you leaving i'm like i'm overwhelmed you know her and i've been talking a little bit but my therapist doesn't think she's the smartest match for me and and i think that's probably true yeah she was a good dancer though i mean there's one point where she was literally like bent over grinding against you uh like holding on to like a table and i'm like that is intent caroline and we're watching we were just like damn what face was i making you were just stoked you're so stoked i had a great time. And then I talked to two actresses from Real Bros,

came up to me and they're like, hey, you're like Chad's friend. I was like, yeah, what's up? They're like, how's your night going? I'm like, I'm on this date with this girl. And she's kind of dancing with other people. And at that moment they turn and they go, she just made out with that guy. But then it helped me that they talked.

They were so nice to me. They talked to me for a minute and then they took off. And then the girl came back who I was on the date with. And she was like, you're flirting with other girls in front of me. Are you fucking serious? And I just started laughing. I was like, wait, are you really trying to spin it that way?

I was like, you're nuts. And then I looked at her. I was like, you really do remind me of my mom. Dude. Yeah. I kind of understood where my dad was at in the 80s in miami with my mom just trying to ride that lightning i like it just like well i'm gonna just just hold on tight yeah a lot of the write-ins this week kind of have that vibe yeah you just gotta hang on and let them gallop just hang on yeah i. Sup, homies in Stoke Nation. I hope all is well. I heard y'all was pot with Johnny Mitch,

and it really made me want y'all's opinion on my sitch. So here it is. I just got out of the Texas Department of Corrections three months ago after doing 18 months for selling wax, which I find ludicrous, but the law's not up to my discretion. I'm glad you're out, my friend. Like, I thought I'd be super stoked to be free, but honestly, I'm super bummed.

My girlfriend moved 250 miles away with my dog and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm glad you're out, my friend. Oh, man, I'm sorry. Stay up, Stoked Nation. Stay up. we want to go back to my old ways. I don't know, bros. I've just been really down in the dumps and not stoked at all. I really value you guys' opinion and would greatly appreciate some advice. Stay up, Stoked Nation. Stay up. Dude, I'm really sorry, man. That's tough. I would stay the course. You've hit a bottom, but the only way is up. And you'll find your way, and it'll

lead into something better than you could have ever imagined, I think. I think the worst thing you can do is go back to your old ways. I agree. Yeah. What's going to happen there? You're going to get caught again. Yeah. I don't think there's a lot of happy endings in that business.

I think be grateful that you only did 18 months. It could have been worse. You could have got hurt. You could have got somebody else hurt. You could have done more time. And yeah, there's going to be some wreckage from that, but you can get through this. You just got to find something else that brings you joy.

Find something else to have self-worth in. Because that life is just going to, it's going to not make you happy or be sustainable it's like joe rogan says be the hero of your own movie yeah yeah you got an opportunity now to get better yeah i'm sorry man it sounds like it's been tough but it'll get better hey dudes i got blacked out and had a dick tattooed on my delt my delt is sick but the dick is not what can i turn it into so it looks like a cool tattoo and not a straight up dong thanks tim um she's got a dong on his belt yep dude i think it's i think it's simple rocket ship nice put nasa on the shaft

you're golden smart maybe some like a fire from the tail and like so the balls are like engines you got a freaking rocket ship be like yeah i want to be an astronaut i respect astronauts yeah they go into space. What do you think? My thought was that it's okay to have a dick on your shoulder if everything else in your life suggests that you wouldn't be the kind of person who would have a dick on your shoulder. Like our buddy Joe, not Maurice, Joe P., he's got a Lakers tattoo on his butt.

But you meet Joe, he's like a super put-together guy. He's got a lakers tattoo on his butt but you meet joe he's like a super put together guy he's got a good job solid relation you know he pays his taxes you wouldn't expect him to have a lakers but tattoo on his butt i mean it's fun but you wouldn't expect him to have a lakers tattoo on his butt so then when you find that out you're not like what a weirdo you're kind of like whoa really nice yeah it kind of adds a or i knew this one guy I worked with, J.P., who was like the most put-together guy at work. He was always on top of everything. If you worked for him and you walked by him,

he was going to give you an assignment that needed to happen. He was just on top of shit. And he had a goofy email. He was like funbounce at Gmail. And we were like, that's Jay's email? He could get away with it because he was so good at his job. So if you're really good at everything else, you can get away with having a dick on your delt.

Yeah, could be a good conversation starter too. Exactly. Maybe a rocket ship would be kind of like elementary. I feel like you're almost like you have like a retreat for the Fortune 500 company that you're running. Everyone's at the pool. You're the CEO. You take your shirt off and everyone goes,

whoa, Mr. Myers has a dick on his delt. You're like, crazy story, right? you're running everyone's at the pool you're the ceo you take your shirt off and everyone goes whoa mr myers has a dick on his don't you're like crazy story right and they're like what an animal dude yeah and he runs a fortune 500 shipping company no way dude you're the greatest mr myers look at the veins on that dong dude that's so detailed look at the details he's like i got hammered i used to get hammered they're like you used to get hammered he's like i did but after the dick i figured stuff out changed my life and i made sure this would be the last time i ever looked like a dick and everyone's like yes mr myers look at that single pube man dude there's a pube on there dude what does that mean just coming off the ball dude dude look at the's a pube on there dude what does that mean just coming off the ball dude

dude look at the detail a pube all right dude chad who is your beef of the week my beef of the week is with sleep paralysis good beef dude stokers i don't know if you've ever experienced sleep paralysis but it is a shifty motherfucker um for those of you don't know when you when you go to sleep and you go into deep sleep your body enters into a state of paralysis so you don't act out your dreams and just you know run around the house sleeping you know like keeps your body tight so it stays in your bed and you stay warm and comfortable and under the covers and just having a good time. But I think sleep paralysis is caused by extreme exhaustion.

So if you're extremely tired, then you go to sleep. Sometimes your body will go to sleep before your mind does. So your body will go to sleep and your mind does. So your body will go to sleep, and you'll enter into that state of paralysis, but your mind will still be awake. So you'll be awake, but you can't move. You're like fully paralyzed. And your body goes into a state of panic,

so then you start seeing things, you know, like you see like demons and stuff. And I've experienced this. And it's just like your body, for some reason, creates those hallucinations, I think. Or they're real. Who knows?

I think it's hallucinations. So yeah, there's been times, I remember one time I was in sleep paralysis, I wake up, and it literally feels like there's like a demon like a foot away from my face. I was on my belly. A demon like a foot away from my face i was on my belly a demon like a foot away from my face just like breathing super hard and i was getting pulled by

my feet back across my bed whoa yeah it was fucking i think it lasts for like 10 seconds but feels like two minutes and that's from being tired yeah from like extreme exhaustion whoa and so it's like and then there's another time where i woke up and i just couldn't move and i just look in the corner of the room it looks like there's just like a demon flying in the corner scary as shit and uh and then there's one time i just it was just like it's scary it happened to me like 10 times it's horrible you know so sleep paralysis i want to give you a big fuck you you know quit trying to scare me when i sleep you know i'm trying to get that rim i'm trying to recharge i'm trying to get optimal levels of stoke you know i'm trying to freaking uh dream of green

juice and cold showers and you know my lady friend and like all kinds of stuff you know i'm not trying to wake up and see a freaking demon yep okay so this is a message to my bod hopefully this enters my subconscious like don't um mind don't wake up when body's asleep fucking assholes nice so stokers write in your stories of sleep paralysis i want to hear about it because i think it's super interesting uh who's your beef of the week dude my beef of the week and i mentioned it earlier is depression i don't know if i'm just sick or if i am genuinely feeling blue but i made myself sit on the couch yesterday and just hang out by myself and not let myself be extroverted, basically. And dude, I was bumming. And I was just like, I just felt like I was covered in like a thick gel. And it was like, I couldn't move.

And I was just like, oh, get off me. And so I was like, something's up. And I didn't know what it was. So I looked up depression. It's like eight signs you're depressed. And like, I was doing all of them. And then like the main one was like, you just up. And I didn't know what it was. So I looked up depression. It's like eight signs you're depressed. And like, I was doing all of them. And then like the main one was like, you just don't find joy or optimism and things. And I was like, bang, dude, that's what I'm feeling.

And you know, I'm lucky. I got like a lot of good people in my life. I got you and Joe and my fam and my, you know, other boys. And like, I was like, I'm lucky. Even though I'm bumming, I'm lucky. And then, you know, I know I'll get through it. But I was just like, I'm lucky. Even though I'm bumming, I'm lucky. And then, you know, I know I'll get through it, but I was just like, fuck this thing.

But at the same time, I'm like, it's good I'm feeling it. You know? You got to feel it all. So that's my beef. Who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week is my hairstylist jess she's great who uh jt mack because she bleached our eyebrows dude she's super cool uh yeah i just want to give her a major shout you know because like freaking you know you guys know how important my hair is to me um and it's

you know getting a haircut is a big stressful deal you know striders outlined it a few times you could get a dong cut, you know. And I like to keep the flow, you know. I like to keep it nice and flow-like. You know, gotta keep it cool. And, dude, when you go to get a haircut, it could be a big risk. You know, they could cut it short without you even realizing it. And then you could be just bummed for the next three months. And I'd just stay indoors in my closet, you know.

I'm like, I can't appear without flow and Jess took away all that fear from me you know I started getting haircuts from her about a year and a half ago and she's like I will keep your flow intact and cool and I'm like thank you Jess you get it all right she's not gonna try some weird you know hairstyle on me she's I'm like just take an inch off keep it cool keep it light and keep it fresh and she knows exactly how to do that so uh yeah i just want to give a shout out thank you so much for um you know keeping my hair fresh she's got engaged too major congratulations yeah and uh yeah you're she's freaking legend you know um so stokers if you're ever in uh la and you want to get a dank haircut and yeah by the way i go to a salon okay don't get defensive we all do it i go

to a salon okay maybe that's where you got to go you know i'm i'm just standing here trying to flex as hard as i can you know not trying to flex but you know i standing tall, okay? And I'm going to say openly, I go to a salon because I care about my hair. Of course. Yeah. So you can hit all you want and be like, oh, you go to a salon? How much do you pay? I pay whatever is needed to keep my hair fresh, okay? It's a priority.

It's a priority. There's food and my hair and rent. Yeah. In that order. I think that's where it should be. Steak, hair, apartment. So yeah, go to a salon. Don't feel bad about the salon thing.

I asked my dad, because my dad worked in hair care. Yeah. And I said, dad, you're a manly guy. I said, did you ever feel uncomfortable or out of your depths working in the beauty industry? And he goes, no. Dude, that's a sign of high tea. Yeah. That is some high-ass tea.

Who's your legend? My legend of the week is Pete Davidson, dude. We've talked about him on the pod before. The guy has had an up and down year, but he keeps coming. And as I'm sure a lot of you Stokers know, he was making out with Kate Beckinsale at a New York Rangers game. He's doing bits with John Mulaney.

He's got a movie coming out with Judd Apatow. It's like you can fucking dump on this dude, but all you're doing is putting fuel on his fire. And just don't dump on him. Go easy on him. Life is hard. I love it. He's my legend. Life is hard. I love it. He's my legend.

I love it. I love it. I see his creepy looking ass making out with Kate Beckinsale. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Let's go. Dude. Yeah, I looked at the photos.

His tongue. I looked at the photos. I'm like, ew. It's ew. It makes me go ew too. I go, my instinct is ew. That's not right. Then I go, that's not right. And, ew. It's ill. It makes me go ill, too. I go, my instinct is ew. That's not right. Then I go, that's not right.

And that's why it's great. Yeah. Because he's overcoming the odds every time. There's got to be something to him if these guys are buddying up with him. I saw him on stage at 19. He was brilliant. Yeah. He commanded the room like a 20-year vet.

Yeah. He had real, real talent. Yeah. Cool. But this extends even beyond that. This is just him taking hits publicly and then just walking through it. Chad, who is your babe of the week? My babe of the week?

Sorry. My babe of the week is the Sunday Scaries. Oh. Yeah. Now you might be thinking, hey, shouldn't this be a beef? Well, you know what? I had a serious case of the sunday scares yesterday i was bumming like you you know and i was just like man like like you know i had a wonderful time uh with my gf you know and then sunday came and i was just

like you know it's just like i was like fuck dude you know and and i just want i think you know i would beef with sunday scares but i'm like you know what thank you for putting me through the freaking ringer you know and showing me what the downtime is like exactly so that i can really understand how good the good times are i was feeling the same way man yeah it makes you appreciate stuff yeah and maybe i can think hey maybe you know like i love feeling good so much maybe i just don't need to drink as much when i go out you know i don't need to drink as much when I go out. You know, I don't need to go that hard because people can't even tell when I'm like super hammered.

And like it's there's really no difference. I honest to God, I think you're more fun. Yeah. On green juice. Dude, I noticed that too. I was like, I was like having fun. I started drinking. I'm like, man, I'm a little bit like slower.

It's like not as cool. Yeah. You know, but then, you know, so but it just gives you that that that confidence to where you're like oh this will be fun but sometimes it's just fun to do something that's not good for you yeah you know for sure so um i just want to say thank you sunday scariest for putting that into perspective you know um and uh freaking dr phil says that pain is a motivator you know if it wasn't for going for that roughness, that wouldn't have motivated me to really get after it today and just fight through it and just drink as much green juice as I can

and power through that treadmill. That is very true. So Sunday scares are a babe because you learn from the lows. Who's your babe? Only scares are a babe because you learn from the lows. Yeah. Who's your babe? My babe of the week is the 2005 Detroit Pistons NBA champions. I was watching a Paul Pierce on ESPN say that Kyrie Irving isn't good enough to be the lead player on a championship team.

He was saying he needed to be the one B sort of how he was on the Cleveland Cavaliers. team. He was saying he needed to be the 1B, sort of how he was on the Cleveland Cavaliers. And then Chauncey Billups happened to be on the same show. And he was like, really? You don't think he's good enough? Because Chauncey Billups was the best scorer and probably best player on the 05 Pistons. And I would say at their respective peaks, Kyrie's actually the better player. Maybe on balance because of Chauncey's defense, you can make an argument that he's better, but I don't know. I think getting buckets is the premium in the NBA, and Kyrie's better at that. But the reason the 05 team was able to win

is because all of those guys played their best and accepted their roles, and the sum of the parts was greater than the... What is this saying? The sum of the parts was greater than the individual parts. I mangled it. But I just really respect that. All those 05 Pistons players,

the starting five of Ben Wallace, Rasheed Wallace, Tayshaun Prince, Rip Hamilton, and Chauncey Billups, all borderline, you know, perennial all-stars or a notch below,

but all guys who wanted to win and made it work with the guy next to them. And I didn't like watching them play very much. I thought they were boring as fuck, but admire what they accomplished and you guys uh yeah way to go above what we thought your ceiling was and kairi maybe you could learn something from him i love it my dog do we have a uh mission statement of the week yeah i'm excited about this one so again this comes from our dog garrison garrison thank you for prepping these for us brother all right this one's exciting because i think this one's going to take the cake

this comes from volcom dude who's who's top notch who's top of the the heap right now riptide rip curl riptide's a sushi restaurant uh rip curl it's good uh volcom i i mean you think of volcom you think inherently they have soul you know i've always thought that maybe because bruce irons was their main surfer for most of his career for sure um founded in 1991 uh their mission statement we were born to chase what we are true to it's not what we want to it's not that we want to we have to we have a vision that turns obstacles into opportunity a creative courage to tempt the impossible and embrace the strange, telling us to push further to try again. Endlessly seeking elevation, we are all connected by this same internal force.

Forever we chase that intoxicating moment when our vision is realized. The world around us goes quiet, and for brief moments, we are more than alive. Volcom. True to this. Nice. I mean, I just think they're just passion incarnate.

You feel that. Chad, what is your quote of the week? My quote of the week, once again, comes from our dog, Ashley Schaefer. So, what's his name? Danny McBride, otherwise known as Kenny Powers. He's in a little bit of a tiff with Ashley Schaefer. This is the third season. Or maybe it's the second season.

I think it's the second season. And because Kenny messed up this whole press conference thing, and now Ashley Schaefer owns a Kia dealership instead of BMWs. And they're kind of beefing because... I forget why. Anyways anyways Danny McBride goes why don't you just sashay on out of here while I talk with my business partner and Ashley Schaefer comes back and he's like it's you Kenny Powers who needs to sashay sashay off my property where I hold my keys and uh I just thought it was an excellent comeback

you know he really came after him used the same word and just sashayed his ass out of there and like and i was also proud of the fact that he holds kias at his dealership now you know he's like i'm not backing down i know who i am i know i have nice flow and uh it's you who needs to sashay nice yeah sashay off my property while holding my kias my quote of the week is from the Bob Dylan documentary, No Direction Home by Martin Scorsese. It charts the early part of Dylan's career where he really becomes the artist we kind of know him as.

And it's kind of the sweetest moment in the doc. Dylan's quoting one of his contemporaries, this guy named Clancy. And the quote that guy gave him was, no fear, no envy, no meanness. And Dylan's talking about it 40 years later, so it stuck with him. That's cool. Yeah, I dug it.

No meanness. Yeah. And maybe there's something to the order of it too. No fear, no envy, no meanness. Maybe they work in that order. I love it. Yeah. And maybe there's something to the order of it too. No fear, no envy, no meanness. Maybe, maybe they work in that order. I love it. Yeah. All right. Is that it? Do we have any ads? No ads. All right. Well, I'll just do an ad real quick then for a UCI baseball and for my friend, Danny Babona. He's a hell of a guy, hell of a friend, hell of a baseball coach, hell of a father

now. And if you're a young, uh, buckaroo who can throw or swing, the place to go is UCI. They should call it UC Newport Beach because it's right there. We're also brought to you by Douglas Lubricant. Guys, you love to bone, and you love to bone well, and you love to bone hard. And when you bone, you need to bone right with douglas okay they've got tons of flavors um mango sherbet cherry original anal and uh guys when you bone bone smooth and bone right with douglas and also they're getting industrial so if you have an engine and you need to lube it up hit up douglas they've got the best stuff hell yeah all right stokers thank you guys thank you

that's episode 60 and check out our patreon patreon.com stay stoked guys later you too I'm a little lost without you Well, that could be an understatement Oh, now I hope that I have paid the cost

And that I ain't going by, you know Have paid the cost. They go on buying up. Call on you. Cause I'm so busy, so busy thinking about kissing you. And I won't do that without entertaining another thought. Out on the ocean surf I'll have to pull myself together Now it's harder, I'm not on my turf It's me and me and those big old wings

I'm running cause I'm so busy, so busy Thinking about kissing you And now I wanna do that without entertaining Another thought It's so unfinished Her love affair A voice in my head is telling me to Unfinished I never fail The voice in me

Is telling me to Run away I hope your feelings Isn't diminished I hope you Need someone in your life Someone like me Cause I'm so busy, so busy thinking about kissing you.

And now I want to do that without entertaining another thought. Thank you. I'm a little lost Without you Well that could be An understatement Oh Now I hope that I Have paid the cost Too little

A day gone by And not Caught on you Cause I'm so busy So busy Thinking back Kissing you And now I wanna do that

Without entertaining another thought