Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 66 - JT's Mom Joins, Colombia, Miami

Episode Date: April 17, 2019

What up stokers, in this very special episode we are joined by JT's mom, Monica! We dive deep into her life story, partying in Colombia and Miami, and some stories from JT's childhood. Check it out!

Oh, what's up Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast. We got episode number 66. I'm here with my compadre, John Thomas. What up, dog? Boom clap, Stokers. And we are joined by JT's mom, Monica. Welcome. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Hey, mom.

How's it going? Hi, my love. How you doing? I'm good, sweetie. I'm a little nervous. Yeah, I'd say so. Can you tell? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys are going to help me here. Oh, you're good, ladies. We're going to have fun. Yeah. Okay. We got our green juice. We got coffee. Yeah, it matches my clothes. JT We're going to have fun. Yeah. Okay. We got our green juice. We got coffee. Yeah, it matches my clothes.

JT has his fresh out of fucks mug. Yeah, this has become my mug, I guess. I just like the size of it, not necessarily the message. But, you know, I do need to be fresh out of fucks. And maybe this will encourage me to go in that direction. Yeah. Mom, talk close to that microphone so they can hear you. Okay.

How's it going fantastic why don't you tell me i'm so proud you guys invited me to this i love it this is gonna be fun yeah we're thrilled to have you we're and you helped us boat kevin so i mean that's invaluable i think that's the most how is kevin did he ever get adopted he's uh he's still in our squad he's still in the squad we just had to vent a little bit yeah but he's still he our squad. He's still in the squad. We just had to vent a little bit. Yeah. But he's still, he's kicking it. What's nice about Kevin is, is he's the schmole, but you can tell him he's the schmole and it doesn't hurt him. It doesn't affect him? No, he almost likes it.

Yeah. The interesting thing is that when we publicly outed him as a schmole, he was stoked. He loved the attention. Yeah. And now he argues with people who call him a schmole. Yeah. And he'll say things like, oh, how about I go down on your mom like well sorry mom but he says things that are like provocative like that because he enjoys it but do

you think you'll find a bigger small smoke small it's small will he be upset that somebody's more than him yes yeah he's very competitive yeah yeah he's definitely he he tries to be the schmole, and he's good at it. He's a huge schmole. Yes. He sucks. He's a natural at it.

Yeah, he's a natural. I mean, it's hard to be a bigger schmole. Yeah. What's up with you, Mom? How are you? This week, I've been binging in a series from Colombia on Netflix. I watched 22 episodes on the first day. I have not watched news.

I have not done anything. When do you watch the news? I watch the news every day. I do. I don't remember that. What channel? I moved out recently. I like Channel 4. Channel 4? Yeah. Which one is that? NBC.

And I watch TV news in Spanish because I they tell you more about South America, Colombia, my country. There's a show on Sunday called El Punto and I love the guy. He doesn't make comments.

He just tells you how it is straight out without making... Jorge Ramos. He's from Mexico. He's amazing He's from Mexico. He's the guy that got thrown out of by Trump on one of the campaigns He got kicked out in public really? Yeah, because he goes Right to the veins Jorge Ramos and Trump did not like it Interesting. I used to I lived in Spain, I watched the news in Spanish a lot. Really?

Just to learn Spanish. Oh, that's smart. Yeah. That is a good idea. Did it help? Yeah. I mean, I was more focused. I was like, you know, 18.

So I was more focused on the Irish pub below us. Aprendiste. Yeah. Aprendí. Sí. Sí. Ah, bueno. ¿Cómo?

Tuve muchas siestas. ¿Muchas siestas? Sí. Sí. Muy buenas siestas. Sí. Sí. Ah, bueno. ¿Cómo? Tuve, tuve muchos siestas. ¿Muchos siestas? Sí, ricos las siestas. Sí. Qué bueno. So, that's what I've been doing. I'm sorry. That's what I've been doing all week, watching this.

It's called The Queen of Flow. What's that about? Flow is about reggaeton, you know, the music reggaeton. Yes, of course. And it's the reggaeton in medellin which i'm from and it's about younger people trying to make it but it has a lot of passion and it has crime and it has murder and it has a lot of music and dancing and love it's a great series and the people are so beautiful yeah good looking guys beautiful. I do find that in Latin entertainment they seem to have the most beautiful people.

They don't let anybody unattractive on screen. Actually in this show I like it because they also show in the parts of Medellin that are not like, they're like the ghetto, but now it's safer to go there and it's happening. You think it's a good rebrand for that area? It is and they have a place of reggaeton down in that area and they show normal actors that show the people from the town so you see a little bigger girls, not such a good looking guy, so you see it all. It's more down to really what really happens. When did you leave Medellin 1979 and where did you move Miami nice awesome had a good

time in Miami you did oh god did you prefer Miami over Medellin or I guess it's your hometown but I love Miami yeah yes I did I had the best time it was the 80s in Miami. That's awesome. What did you get up to? You went night clubbing a lot? Oh, God, yeah. And I was 18. No, I was 15 when I moved. But at 16, I was able to go inside any bar. They don't ID you.

Yeah. And it was easy. So were you dancing with, like, grown men? I went out a lot with friends of my parents. So it was more I wasn't just out with anybody. I was very protected by them. But I still had a blast. My mom's friends and all of that.

So I was their little girl, and they took me everywhere. Yeah, you partied with your mom a lot, right? Oh, we had the best time. Yeah, grandma loose. I heard she got after it Yeah, my mom and I will get ready to go out at 11 and come home by 5 5 30 Usually. Oh, yeah, that's with the shoes in their hands So much dancing. I was just in Miami. I visited a dad and then Hung out with our cousin, Danny. I love him. We have to go to Miami together.

We really never done the Miami scene together. No, I haven't done it with you. I've done it with Dad a couple times now, but I haven't done it with you. I visited you when you were living in Hollandale Beach a couple times, but we didn't really get after it. I was a good girl then. Well, I was behaving. I was going to school.

Yeah, yeah. So I didn't go out as much, but we didn't do this. And Highlander is quiet. My mom went to culinary school. Oh, cool. For how long? Recently. Two years.

Two years? Yeah. And I don't cook. No? No. All the skills are gone? No, actually the skills are there, but I'm never home. Right.

Was it a big culture shock when you went to Miami, or was it a pretty easy transition? It was culture shock. Yeah. Yes. But I was young enough that I kind of adapted, so the way I look at myself is that I kept a lot of the Colombian things that I like from my culture, and I learned the ones from the United States and Americans,

so I kind of balanced both. Yeah. I'm still very Colombian, but I can be American too. So I like that. Did you have a boyfriend when you moved to Miami? In Colombia? Or in Miami when you got there?

It took me a little bit. Well, no. My first day was the worst. Why? What happened? Okay, he took me to a movie. I didn't speak English so I didn't understand a thing. I hate futuristic movies, and the movie was futuristic, and he fell to sleep.

What movie was it? Odyssey 2000, something like that. Space Odyssey? Something like that. Too heady for you? I just don't like that type of movies. I'm not into them. Why don't you like space movies?

I like more reality things. Right. You don't you like space movies? I like more reality things. Right. You don't like sci-fi? No. Not Star Wars or anything? I like Spaceballs. Spaceballs is good. You know what I think it is?

There's not a lot of passion in space movies. Maybe that's it. Oh, no, but I do love the one with the, when the guy goes to these other planets and he has the tape, the mixed tape. This mother gave him. Sabers of the Galaxy. Oh, Guardians of the Galaxy. That is by far my favorite movie.

Yeah. Ever? The first one? I love it. Or space movie? Of any space movie. That's your favorite. I like the soundtrack.

I like movies with a good soundtrack. It's a fun soundtrack for sure. It is. But that's not your favorite movie. the soundtrack I like movies with a good sound it's a fun soundtrack for sure but that's not your favorite movie no I have a lot of favorite movies I like the first scene when he's dancing yeah that's fun that's great set the tempo yeah yeah yeah I love good characters yes tone and you're like this is a fun guy I like Chris Pratt I do too I do too I'm wishing him well in his new are. Are they married yet, or are they still engaged? They're engaged, yeah. Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter.

Well, I don't know if I should say this, but Christopher, my other son, told me, man, go see it. And I was going through my separation, and I was really down. So I smoked some pot in the car. I was in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I smoked some pot.

Got a big bucket of popcorn and I went to see that movie. It's one of the best memories I have from my separation years. I had a blast by myself. I do that a lot. I go see movies by myself still. I love watching movies by myself.

I see movies with my mom a lot too. I saw my mom over the weekend and we just, every time I see her we get her, we go through like two buckets of popcorn, Diet Coke, and M&M's. It's a great way to bond. Great way to bond. My mom is so funny. When she goes to the movies, she brings blankets and a pillow. And literally will take up three seats and set up a queen-size bed across the row.

Yeah. It used to embarrass me a little bit. And then, I don't know if it's because you're sleep apnea or whatever but you know you breathe pretty loud during movies so we were seeing like uh benjamin button and uh my mom's breathing was just really distracting me from getting into the movie so i go mom you got to breathe less loud or you gotta move and then i looked over like 20 seconds later, and my mom is like cheeks exploding because she's holding her breath. Like literally about to go unconscious trying not to breathe so I can enjoy the film. Those are the things you do for your children.

Yeah. Oh, no. The other thing, too, is when I scream aloud. Like the Matt Wolbert and his soul ball. Oh, yeah. The previews for the movie Date Night. Mark Wahlberg comes in shirtless at one scene to talk to Tina Fey. My mom just goes, oh, my God.

Like, I want him. What movie did you see with your mom? I saw Us. Did you like it? I did, yeah. Yeah, it's a good ride. I got scared. I love getting scared.

I love scary movies. And, yeah, it was a fun ride. The tone and, like, the kind of vibe he can get is really specific and cool. I thought some of the choices were interesting with the characters. Yeah. Like the way the husband and the kids reacted to all the death. Yeah. I was like, oh, what the fuck?

Were they normalized it so quickly? Yeah. I don't know if he did that intentionally for comedic purposes. Yeah. I was like, were they normalized it so quickly? Yeah. I don't know if he did that intentionally. I think he did it purposes. Yeah. Um, and then, um,

yeah, I thought I liked the twist at the ending. Yeah, it was good, but I saw it a second time to see if everything like fit together. And I, I didn't really feel like it fit together, but I don't think it necessarily has to,

it doesn't all have to make sense, but yeah, I did feel like they almost like shot like an earlier draft of that then maybe they should have yeah But he directs so well that it didn't really bug me Yeah, and I thought like with they're like, oh you can see in her face sometimes. Yeah, I saw some menacing look a little like They're not enough to be like, oh, she's the yeah, I want to give it away But spoiler don't give it away. You do really go analyze the movies to like really down. I learned from him. I didn't used to do that But yeah, I like it. Yeah, it's fun. I know I like watching movies with you because of that

Oh, that's sweet mom. Well, you always got me really into movies like executive decision heat What about Bob? Woody Allen movies love them. Yeah, you love not crazy all him, but I love movies? Love them. Yeah, you love Woody Allen movies. Not crazy about him, but love his movies. Yeah, he's got great movies. You like Midnight in Paris? Yes, I like that.

I love that. Let's go back to you, Mom. Were you always into tanning? Big time. Yeah, and never sunscreen, right? No. Yeah. I didn't know what that.

No, pure oil. sunscreen the more the pure the oil was the better yeah and you like those tan boys um not necessarily i guess dad's pretty pale your boyfriend now is a white dude yeah yeah. Yeah. You like white guys. I always say I'm never going to marry a white guy. Never. Only Colombians and look. Yeah. I did date a Cuban and a Colombian. Right.

What about Argentinians, Mom? I never dated one. You don't much care for Argentinian people, right? Let's get spicy. Actually, you know what it is? The ones that come to Miami, they think they're God. They think they're it.

Yeah. But when I went to Argentina, to a town in Argentina, They were pretty cool? super nice people. I guess it's like anything that depends where they're from. But the ones in Miami,

oh my God. And the ones in Miami, no good. Well, our cousin Daniel, he's Colombian he says that at his high school he feels like

the Venezuelans like act a lot cooler than everybody else Venezuelans too okay you got it it's like everybody right this is it Colombians are the coolest

yeah sorry and my cousin Danny sorry go ahead everyone knows Colombia yeah Colombia's on the map yeah well I think in the US I think that's the most people are like, oh, Colombia.

Yeah, it's exciting. You don't say that about Argentina. Very true. True, true. No one's like, ooh, Argentina. I've never heard that. Do you think it's the drugs that put Colombia on the map? Oh, definitely that did it.

But it's funny because Colombia, we're very friendly. We're all over. So every time you talk to somebody, oh, I know the Colombian. Oh, I know the Colombian. Oh, my brother is married to a Colombian. Everybody knows a Colombian. Well, you were the best at that because I remember we'd go to the bank, and if, like, the clerk was Colombian, you'd become best friends with them.

And now, like, Elizabeth is still, like, really close to the family. I know. Or, like, a pizza delivery guy would come over. My mom's like, you're from Medellin? And the guy would be like, yeah. And my mom's like, come in. And, like, six hours later, he's got, like, a that. Or like a pizza delivery guy would come over. My mom's like, you're from Medellin? And the guy would be like, yeah. And my mom's like, come in. And then like six hours later, he's got like a glass of like pinot in his hand. But yeah, definitely the drugs and Pablo Escobar put us in the map big time.

Grandpa met Pablo Escobar, right? My father had a business in Envigado where Pablo Escobar, that's what the town Pablo Escobar built. That's why he was so loved there. I mean, you go to a Latin house, you see the Holy Virgin with a candle or the Sacred Heart with a candle. In Vigado, it was a picture of Pablo Escobar and the candle. Really?

Oh, yeah. Instead of the Virgin Mary? Oh, yeah, because to them, he saved them. He built schools and soccer fields and all. He blew up an airplane. Yeah. No, that's what I mean. He did it all.

He killed over thousands of people. Did people turn on him, even in Embigado? Is that how you say it? Yes. In Embigado, no. That's nice. Yes. In Embigado, no, but in Medellin,

pretty much everybody got sick of there's so much violence. Yeah. Because he really went overboard. He was horrible. Yeah. Also, let me go back. So my father had a business in Envigado, and his mother was a teacher, so they just met.

But he was normal. And at the time my dad met him, he wasn't who he is. Right. Or who he— What he would become. exactly oh but here's i i keep wanting you to tell violent colombian soldiers but will you tell my favorite one where you're driving in the car late at night through the mountains and uh some guys laying in the street oh that's horrible so what what they do, they did then. Okay, I don't want

to put my country in a bad position, but Colombia is wonderful and it's so much better. But what they do is there's two people and it's dark, it's mountains, and there's one person behind the bushes in the mountains hiding, and then there's a body on the road.

So you stop to help them. Oh, yeah, good luck. They take your bag, your car, everything. The guy is fine. But I was driving. Oh, I'm sorry, I laugh. But I was driving with my cousin and her boyfriend, and I was in the back seat with this guy they just introduced me to.

And we're going, yeah, happy-go-lucky, down the road. And we sit and say, oh, my God, stop, stop. We got to help him. I go, really? Watch this. And he ran over his arm with both tires on. And you could see the body tweaking and that. He was fine.

And I was like, I can't believe you just did that. I said, oh, you prefer if they hear you? Yeah. They got a little lesson. But I was like, I can't believe you just did that. I said, oh, you prefer if they hear you? Yeah. They got a little lesson. But I was in shock. Yeah. It was really crazy. I didn't expect that.

Yeah. Yeah. I got home and I was to my aunt. Oh, my God. And another one across the vacation house we used to have. But that was a love affair the woman was having. It was a crime of passion. Well, he didn't hit the guy, but you see, you hear the shotguns,

and then you see this guy running down the road in his underwear. And the wife coming out in her negligee, don't kill him, don't kill him. And the husband, you son of a bitch, you son of a bitch, you son of a bitch. I'm going to kill you. And he's shooting. I never saw anybody running so fast. So that was, he caught her.

Did he get him? No. No. No, thanks God. Do you think he actually was trying to get him or do you think he was just trying to scare him? I think he was trying to scare him and he did. Yeah, I'm sure.

I think that guy's still running. He wasn't scary. I mean, he looked mean. Yeah. And then you're coming out of the movie theater? Oh, if you want to. No, I'm coming out of the movie theater, and all of a sudden there's a cross shooting,

and I just hid behind the car. Yeah. They got in the car, they left, and it was over. No one was there or anything. Right. So, yeah. So I never saw anything. Oh, I did see a bombing when I was like 15 in Bogota.

I was walking by with somebody, I can't remember who, and it was like in a downtown area. And in a bus, all of a sudden you hear this explosion and people are running out of the bus. Oh, no. Yeah, that was sad. Was that FARC who did that? I don't know. I really, probably. Yeah, that was sad. Was that Fark who did that? I don't know.

I really, probably. Yeah, what about the good times? Oh, it's so much fun in Colombia. People are so friendly. Yeah. It's just parties all the time. A lot of dancing? Lots of dancing.

Music everywhere. Yeah. Lots of drinking. Lots of drinking? Yeah. Lots of parties, yeah. We always find a reason to have a party. Yeah. Lots of drinking. Lots of drinking? Yeah. Lots of parties, yeah. We always find a reason to have a party.

If you don't have a reason, that's a reason to have a party. Because there's no reason. So throughout the week, how many parties would you say you had? Oh, when I lived there, I moved back there when I was 18. Okay. I went to school in Switzerland, and I got kicked out of school. Why'd you get kicked out? I went to school in Switzerland and I got kicked out of school. Why'd you get kicked out?

Because I had a Cuban boyfriend and he went to visit me. I would jump out of window and escape to see him at nighttime and I got caught. Wasn't he a real asshole too? Horrible. You like those bad boys, right? I just fell in love like an idiot. And then he wanted to go to Colombia and I said, no, don't come't don't I was having too much fun oh you're having a better time without him it's funny I talked to our cousin Danny and he was like he was talking about

girls in high school and he's like man seems like all the girls like bad boys that's just not me I was like good for you He's a wise kid. Yeah, he knows who he is. That's just not me. And I had good boyfriends that weren't bad boys. I just remember you talking about the Cuban guy. The Cuban guy. He was a nightmare. How long did you date him? Over a year, but it was really intense.

Do you ever think what would have happened if you married him? I'd be dead. I wouldn't be here. From him? He was very jealous and possessive. He was very aggressive. Which women don't let men do that to you. It's not good. And they never change because you're like, oh, he's going to change for me. Bullshit. They don't change. Was dad jealous? No. Not at all. That's nice.

No, actually, I wanted a little. More jealousy from him? A little bit. He's very competitive. But that's no jealousy. Right. I wanted him more like getting here, my wife. And what was he like?

Oh, he would be on one side of the room. I'd be on the other. He'd be like, yeah. What's the kind of dancing in Colombia? Is it salsa? We dance salsa, but our original music is vallenatos and cumbia. Okay. But now reggaeton is it.

It's everything. Yeah, which was invented by a Puerto Rican. Yeah, right. I think Don Omar invented the reggaeton oh really I was gonna say Daddy Yankee I don't know the or maybe Daddy Yankee one of them he was the first one I remember no seriously and I know Gasolina oh my god Oh my God. Dame mas gasolina. Yo quiero mas gasolina. I don't like that song. Do you like Shakira? I love Shakira.

Oh, dude. Let's talk about that. Yeah. I love her. Have you ever seen her? Yes, once. Really? Performing or like in person?

Performing. Oh, in person, never. Yeah. Is she still in Colombia? No, she lives in Spain. She's married to Piquet. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, the soccer player.

Dude, my mom's so funny. Like back in the day shakira was more of like a folk singer she did more like guitar kind of like ballads yeah and my mom was like and this is when she was strictly a spanish-speaking artist my mom was like this lady's gonna be huge yeah my brother and i would clown on my mom and be like bullshit and you're that no one's ever gonna hear this lady like turn it off yeah and then soon enough like i'm in grade school boom dude shakira is like the biggest artist in the world yeah she's an amazing you see how that girl moves those hips i was about to say she unleashed the hips they don't lie yeah in colombia i think

actually i don't know if it's true but she became also really famous as a musician but also her booty because she has a beautiful butt yeah she's got a nice butt yeah she does and it's not it's not fake right and it's not huge ridiculously huge it's perfect i remember watching the wherever whenever music video of course my dad would come and be like, get out, Dad. I'm watching this. But the funny thing is that you tell me, and I just realized something, that when I moved to Miami, I really didn't hang out with high school people. Older people?

I hung out with all my friends from Colombia, my parents' friends. So it was really easy because I remember going to parties with high school people and I didn't fit in. Now that you mention it, it's funny. These people don't even stand a chance. I guess I mature too soon, too fast. I don't know.

And dad was a lot older, but he talks about how you and grandma just had a credit card that could get you guys into any club. And he talks about when he met you guys, it was like meeting royalty for him he never met people who like live that way and stuff for some reason every night club i went to they said you want the vip of course of course we had to pay a little money for it but i got offered all the vips they like my presence so i had a

blast i never have to go in a line yeah yeah I was right through it yeah that's nice it was fun that's fun that's why I said I have so much fun but I only had a couple forget friends and I yeah I didn't go out with a lot of high school people mm-hmm yeah cuz I when I lived in Spain they would always talk about how they're like hey you, you guys have house parties. That's how you guys party in the United States. Yeah. It was like a huge thing for them. Like, they didn't even, like, the concept of that was so out of, because they just go

to clubs. Yeah, I guess if you don't need to have a house, but like a house party is kind of like what you do when you're not allowed to go to a bar or something. Yeah. Although I think most people prefer a house party. Yeah. But it's, what's going on? I gotta go get a tissue.

Okay. I'm sorry, guys. No i'm sorry guys yeah okay thank you my nose yeah they just watch the house parties and movies and it looks so watch american pie and they're like that's what you guys do they watch party x like the house parties right yeah they're huge yeah it's big yeah you got to play it up yeah red solo like you've never seen yeah no I I I love house parties they're fun yeah what should we get into the topics guys let's do it is there anything else you want to say mama before about your biography before we get into it? That I'm talking a lot and I'm loving it. Nice. I love talking. Oh yeah.

You guys are great. So in Spain, how long did you stay there for? Nine months. Yeah. That's great. Where? Zaragoza. Zaragoza. Zaragoza. Nice.

I love Spain. Yeah. It's fun. One of my favorite cities. I couldn't travel outside of the country so i just went all around spain so i went to like valencia um it's a long ago where else i go barcelona madrid um andalusia all throughout there like granada and all that stuff and yeah that's fine i love madrid i love barcelona san sebastian i love san sebastian i've never been

It's in Basque country but they have good surfing there So it's a whole different vibe Than like Andalusia My dad and mom went to Europe For like a month which I thought was crazy It was It was crazy We lasted three weeks

I knew that was a combustible situation We had to call the trip short But you guys started off hot And I remember dad sent me an email and he said three weeks. Yeah, yeah. I knew that was a combustible situation. We had to call the trip short. Yeah. But you guys started off hot. And I remember dad sent me an email and he said, me and your mom in Spain. And the picture was a topless photo of my mom at the beach. I don't know why

he took that picture. That was actually in Caines in the south of France. I can't believe he did that. Yeah, I didn't understand it either. I still don't know why he did that alright honey go to the topic I'm sorry so they have the first

known photograph of a black hole now in the New York Times there was an article that I described let me pull that up quickly astronomers announced on Wednesday that at last they had captured an image of the unobservable a black hole a cosmic abyss so deep and dense that not even

light can escape it for years all the mounting scientific evidence black holes have remained maroon in the imagination of artists and the algorithm algorithms of splashy computer models of the kind used in christopher nolan's epic, Interstellar. Now they are more real than ever. Did you guys take a gander at this black hole? I never knew about them. I heard it briefly this morning when I was coming down here in the news this morning when I was getting ready. A 29-year-old girl is the one who took the picture. Really?

Yeah. Yeah, and it looks pretty similar to the illustration in Interstellar. It looks like Sauron's eye to me from Lord of the Rings. Oh, yeah. They say it weighs 6.5 billion times what the sun weighs. Are you serious? Which I don't know how you measure that. Yeah, how does it have weight?

I know seriously. Yeah. Yeah, it's a hole. How does it have weight? I don't know. And it says that it proves the Einstein. Oh, it does? It does.

Einstein theory of relativity or something? Right. Yeah. Aaron, you're a science guy, right? Am I mislabeling you? Yes. So what about the Einstein theory of relativity? Does it prove?

I know I didn't get into it, but that's all I know. Yeah, what he said. I think according to Einstein's theory, matter, space, and time come to an end and vanish like a dream when they go into the black hole yeah so quoting that directly from the article so if Matthew McConaughey were to actually dive into that he would see time and like a if he was in the right kind of spacecraft then maybe yeah yeah he's a scary I don't want to exist in a thing outside of time it's weird to think that all everything happens that everything exists at once yeah you know what i

mean that every moment of your life is actually stacked on top of each other not unfolding yeah i'm so afraid of the unknown when it comes to space and and since i was four years old i will i'll be hearing about the end of the world yeah you're've been hearing about the end of the world. Yeah. You're a big believer in the end of the world. Oh, huge. You always think it's coming. Yes.

What do you think is the next thing? I think it's happening now. Yeah? How so? With all the rains, all the droughts, all the earthquakes, everything that's happening with modern nature, I think it's the beginning of the end of the world. I don't think it's going to happen like, hey, tomorrow we're here, tomorrow the war is over.

After 9-11, my mom was like, Nostradamus predicted this. He did. She goes, this is going to be the end of the world. And I said, do you think this is going to be the end of the world? And my mom goes, yeah. I always think every year. Every year I think it's the... When I was born... Oh, my God.

That is so stupid. Somebody told me that there was going to be a huge earthquake in California and that California was going to disappear in the month of May. And he was born in January. What is it? April? April 29? I flew to Miami and stayed the whole month in Miami with JT.

His dad is like, are you out of your mind? And I say, I'm out of here. Bye. That's where I get it from. I got the same psychology. I would do the same thing. I'm so sorry. No, I would do the same thing.

You were just looking out for me i appreciate it yeah but i'm sorry i got that into you so yeah that's funny yeah this black hole is crazy yeah black holes are crazy do you guys have any interest in space travel like if they had a trip that could take you into space would you go oh for sure you would oh yeah damn i want to see the earth from, like, space. There's supposed to be a new documentary about that, about everyone who's gone into space and what seeing Earth from up there did to their psychology. See how flat it is?

Yeah. I know. All right, next up on the topics, LeBron James, maybe the second greatest basketball player to ever live, is trying to make Space Jam 2, but he's run into some issues. He can't recruit any of the other top NBA players to be in the film with him. And this kind of like, I've been hearing this for a while, that a lot of guys in the league don't like LeBron.

And now it's making me wonder, is he a schmole? Is LeBron James a schmole? I really never seen him I'm not a big sports person I know I love Golden State and I love LeBron James because he was the one in the facts trend right train wreck train wreck yes and I love him in that movie so that was good in that he was sweet and he was like a wall and he was sincere I love him so I love him because of that movie so that was good in that he was sweet and he was like a wall and he was sincere i love him so i love him because of that movie so i have no idea anything about his personal life

yeah i don't know much either but i know he did leave miami which i think was a bad move right why would he leave miami for cleveland yeah i don't know. It's suspicious. I think he cares a lot about his image, and I think maybe he cares so much that it gets to a point where he can't be authentic with the people around him or just cut loose and have a good time. And he also seems to micromanage things. Like he tried to trade away like half of his team this year to get a better player,

but then the whole team found out about it, so there was like bad blood for the second half of the season. Oh, man. But when you're the best guy are you always going to be somewhat hard to get along with? Like I think MJ was hard to get along with. I think Kobe was. But the difference was

people still wanted to be in a movie with Michael Jordan. I think they still looked up to him. I'm not sure if these guys look up to LeBron James. I just don't know when you get so high up and you're in this big pedestal and there's so much more you can do to keep moving up in that pedestal. What else can they do to do it? So I think that's when people start going into bad decisions

because they already have made so much and they're so successful. What comes next with that success? Like why even do Space Jam 2? Exactly. That's when, what's next? What's next? Now what do I do? Now what do I do?

Because it's never enough for humans. We never have enough. So it's like, okay, I done it all. I did this. I disappointed Cleveland. I went to Miami. I went back to Cleveland. And I'm done.

And it's like, what's next? Yeah. Yeah, it's like doing Space Jam 2. It's like, I'm kind of like, just be yourself. Do your own thing. Quit trying to be like Mike. He doesn't even have the shoes that Bow Wow has, you know? Yeah.

I agree. Yeah. It's like, he has number 23. Does he still have it? I think so. Number 23. Yeah, he does. He's doing Space Jam 2.

It's like, make your own Space Jam. Yeah. I agree. All right. Let's get some more sports questions going. It's like, make your own Space Jam. Yeah. I agree. All right. Let's get some more sports questions going. It's the end of the NBA season. It's been a good season, I think. And I think the main debate happening right now is who is the MVP of the league? The Greek freak Giannis Antetokounmpo or the marvelous two-guard from Houston, James Harden?

I do like Lindsay Lohan's show on Mykonos, so I'm going to pick the Greek guy. Nice, dude. Good call. Yeah. Guys, should we get into some questions? Yeah. This is going to be a lot of fun, Mom.

So what we do is we answer questions from some of the listeners about issues that they've been struggling with. So, you know, help us help them. Thank you. Chad and JT, coming off a rager with the So, you know, help us help them. Thank you. Chad and JT, coming off a rager with the boys and my stoke level was high. Although some boys let me know that I puked. Now I am known as the puker. This ruins my stoke. How do I pregame some stoke for the next rager?

I think everybody has puked after they drink a lot. I don't see anything weird about it. I don't know. Just make fun of it when they say it. Like own it? Yeah, own it. I'd be like, yeah, I'm the puker. Exactly.

What up, dude? Yeah, because I drink more than you do. That's why I'm the puker. Yeah, just own it and, you know, like, okay, fine. Maybe call the other guy the nicknamer. Be like, yeah, I'm the puker, but you're the nicknamer. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't puker, but you're the nicknamer. Yeah.

Yeah, I wouldn't pay much attention to it. It's like, seriously, puking is normal bodily function. There's been a lot of great pukers in our time, too, like Steve-O, Aaron McGahee from Jackass. Basically, the whole guy is everyone from Jackass. Yeah, they vomit a lot. They pu is cool dudes I hate when people call me the next day after you'll be now having fun they say remember I said no I don't and I don't want to remember so lose it I don't want to know I don't tell me I'm

fine with not knowing yeah I hate I hate that, hi, no, don't do that. The worst. No. If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything. A young stoker wrote in on the Instagram. I don't have the question handy, but I think the gist of it was that he said his girlfriend had been very promiscuous in her high school days.

I think he said she was a slut, but let's just soften that up because I think there's a lot of judgment in that. So let's just say she was more sexually adventurous than he was. She was busy. Yeah, she was busy and he doesn't know how to deal with it. So how do we suggest he deal with it? If he doesn't know how to deal with it and move on, he's never going to work out the relationship. Just it out of his mind realize that that's her past he's never going to have a good relationship with her because he's always going to be in the back of his mind yeah so talk to her and see how you feel about it but men do the same thing guys do too and whatever happens before you it was

before you i don't think it'll help to know all the details i think i agree don't don't ask history more mystery that's something i always used to say on loveline and i think as long as you feel like i think i don't think her past is any indicator of what the future is going to be i think she there's potential there that you guys could just be great together yeah she could be like Jennifer Lawrence in server linings playbook. Yeah, exactly. What I don't like about asking too many details is the fact that if you ask

too many details and you get the visions and the visions are painful. Yeah. Cause then you start thinking and imagine and that, and that's really sticks with you. So too many details can ruin you. Yeah. What up grandmasters of Stoke? I have an issue on my hands

and I'm hoping you guys can give me some wisdom on. I love getting after it with my fellas and my girlfriend and we always have a good time sipping back on grandpa's old cough medicine. But for some reason recently, whenever I have a few too many, this evil persona comes out of me and I become a super rude and belligerent

and I make a total ass clown out of myself. I become super rude and belligerent and make a total ass clown out of myself. My friends hate to see it and I can tell it's bringing my girlfriend's stoke meter down. I try to resolve it by cutting back on alcohol when we are getting after it and that obviously worked, but it's a huge bummer just watching my friends get wild when I'm sober for the most part. Do you guys have any advice for me so I can control this douchebag persona I get when I do drink?

You guys are legends and thank you for taking my stoke meter to another level. He gets on alcohol or you say cough medicine? Alcohol. Or no cough medicine? No. That's like a saying. Oh, I got it. Not everybody can take alcohol the same.

Yeah. I think I would say maybe do some breathing exercises before he gets drunk, calm himself down, get himself in the right mindset so he's jolly before going in. Maybe that could help. Slow down the drinking, drink a lot of water between drinks. That's what I wrote down, Mom. I said have a glass of water after each drink yeah pace yourself it gets you fuller and and if you realize alcohol is not for you i don't know but water and meditation yeah if this stuff keeps happening if you like start hurting people's feelings a lot or you get arrested or

something like you know big signals that you aren't a person who should drink or it's still happening when you're in your upper 20s you know or 30s or something then yeah sobriety might be the best route for you if it keeps happening something is wrong maybe with your body he has to do some internal work yeah fix something that's going on that's like subconscious. There's some alcohols that can hurt people some other ways. Like I cannot take tequila. I go weird. So also learn your body and eat. Don't go in empty stomach.

Eat. What up, Stokers and Jabow? Last week you guys did something that seriously lowered my stoke meter. You didn't know the quarterback of the great Jacksonville Jaguars. It is the man himself, Nick Foles, a.k.a. Big Dick Nick. My question to you fellow stokers of Stoke Nation is that do you think the rumors of Nick's massive hog are true or just an intimidation contact created by the Eagles? If so, do you think it's at the level of Uncle Joe's?

Thanks for all the advice and fuck Puzio. Puzio's that kid I fought freshman year of high school. Mom, remember when I left to go fight him? That's him? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Talking about a scary moment.

Yeah. Why'd you let me go fight? I really didn't let you go fight. You were going to go regardless. And when that phone call by accident and I hear you, I was like, oh, my God, what did I do? I should have gone with him. I don't know. I was a wimp, I guess.

No, not a wimp. I let you get it. I think you were just like, look, boys fight. Yeah. Well, you went to karate for so long, I figured. No, not a wimp. I let you get it. I think you were just like, look, boys fight. Yeah. Well, you went to karate for so long, I figured you knew how to defend yourself.

You didn't? I did pretty good. You listened to it on the phone. No, I couldn't listen. I mean, I panic. I accidentally, my phone accidentally

called my mom. Yeah. She was... Dial packet, and I'm listening, and I'm like, hey, JT, and it's like,

prum, prum, and you hear these, and I, hey, JT, and it's like, prune, prune, and you hear these bodies rolling and each other yelling at each other and people cheering and telling them, and I go, oh, my God. Yeah. Okay, so this guy, this quarterback, Nick Foles, supposedly has a really big member, and this stoker's wondering if that's true, if he or do we think it's just a hearsay yes mom my mom just pantomimed uh the shape of a large dong i'd say give him the benefit of the doubt right i have no reason to believe he doesn't have a huge dong but is he announcing it is it no

nick doesn't talk about it which which I think is really inspiring. He seems very modest about his big dong. So who said it? His teammates. They all say he has a big dong. Okay, so he does. I agree. Good for him.

I think Aaron, on the side of optimism, I think it's bigger than people say. Wow. Yeah, but you think, oh, my God, I shouldn't say this. Go for it, Mom. You think his teammates have seen it at full potential? Oh. Yeah, but you think, oh, my God, I shouldn't say this. Go for it, Mom. You think his teammates have seen him at full potential? Yeah, think about that. I mean, there's difference. What up, dogs?

Long-time Stoker, first-time sender of question. Anyways, almost everyone in our squad is of the age where they can pound back brews. However, there's one dude who isn't old enough, but still wants to hang with the boys when we go out. He has a fake ID and all that good stuff, but whenever he flashes in when he goes out with us, it gives me an uneasy feeling and I get angry at him.

I'm not sure why I do, but does that make me a schmole for not supporting him like that? P.S. Keep up the good work. Swiss cheese. Yeah, it's not his problem. I have no idea why that, unless, it sounds like you just already have a problem with the guy. Yeah. Why else would it upset you that he uses a fake ID to get into a bar?

Yeah. I don't know, you think he might be afraid he gets caught, that kid, and they all get kicked out, or he truly cares about this kid getting in trouble. I don't know. Or maybe he doesn't. I just can't picture that. I'm out of this one. I don't know. You he hasn't i just can't i'm out of this one i don't know

you're not going to get in that much trouble unless you get caught by the cops if you get caught by a bouncer they're just going to take your id away from you most of the time i think he just has a beef with this kid okay yeah because it's all on the guy with the fake id yeah exactly he gets in trouble then it him. And you kind of want your friends who don't have a fake ID to have a fake ID so they can go out with you.

Like, I got pumped when, like, my younger brother got a fake ID because then we could go to bars together. Yeah, and it's like, when he was under 21,

did he use a fake ID? Yeah. And it's like one of those victimless crimes where it's like, dude, you're breaking the law. It's like, I have a fake ID.

Like, I'm not, like, sex trafficking. No, you got a point.. It's like, I have a fake ID. Like, I'm not like sex trafficking. No, you got a point. So maybe he just playing that stuff like this guy because you're right. You talk to a lot of people. Everybody has fake IDs pretty much. Dude, we got fake IDs when we were like 15. We went to Alvarado Street.

Mom, I told you when I was going to get it. We come back. They would fuck him up and put like female on him and shit like that. Be like, 5'9", 170, female. I was like, God damn it. So JT goes and gets and I'm going to say bye. Well, his brother was really busy. He couldn't go.

And his father is like, can you go get the ID for your brother? Can you just do something nice for your brother? They're really close. And it's like, he doesn't have the time and that. I can't go. The picture. He needs to take the picture. Can you take it for him? And he's not grasping the idea.

Oh, to make the fake ID form? Right. Yeah. Yeah. Dad would get mad at me for not including my brother in even my bad shenanigans. He'd be like, you threw a fucking huge party when I bad shenanigans he'd be like he threw a fucking huge party when i was out of town i was like yeah i'm sorry he's like they fucking destroyed the neighbor's lawn they're all pissed off did you even let your brother come

i feel like yeah dad chris was there well did he have a good time i'm like yeah he got drunk and a bunch of the guys really liked him. He's like, well, good. Good. At least you did that. What did you think when JT would have parties and you found out? Well, first, I said, thank you, God. Nothing bad happened. Yeah.

It scared the heck out of me just to imagine it. But then I realized nothing happened. And in pride, mother, which I admit it, I would be so proud that they got caught just by a little tiny little mistake. Everything would be so perfect.

So perfect. And I would, when I, one mom, lamb, have been moved and I say, you had a party. And they have to talk. I was like, shit, they did a good job. But no, it scared me a lot. It scared me a lot.

Yeah. It did. But you just, but you guys still would go out of town for two weeks at a time. Well, we had a life too. I'll cut to it though. I have a hairy ass, like a really hairy ass and lower back. Some of my friends call me rat ass. Don't worry.

It's just playful banter and also referred to it as the black abyss. Yeah. We used to call my friend Ross's butt the black forest. So for whenever I change it in a change room at the gym or leave the bed after seducing a lady, I feel really insecure about it. Should I just own it or should I go for the aerodynamic look and get it shaved wax? Thanks for the help. Keep up the stoke and fuck Puzio.

Heavy day of fuck Puzios. Own it. Means he has high T. High testosterone gives you a hairy butt. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, being from Colombia, my uncles, I mean, I didn't see their butt, but I could see their body. So I imagine the rest was like hairy.

So I grew up seeing a lot of men with a lot of hair and then it went out of fashion. So, yeah, that's who you are. Yeah, I think I was insecure about my hairy body in my early 20s. Like I would shave everything and like kind of be more self-conscious about it. But at a certain point, you're fighting against your nature. You know what I mean? You're better off just accepting it and spending that time worrying about stuff that's more important. And it's only when you're like super young, like high school where everyone picks on everybody about everything that's different, where it's like a real problem.

It's not even a problem. It's just something that feels like a problem. But I think once you get older, it's just like, yeah, this is who I am. I's like a real problem. It's not even a problem. It's just something that feels like a problem. But I think once you get older, it's just like, yeah, this is who I am. I'm like a little hairy. Personally, I don't find a man attractive when he's completely shaved his whole body. Yeah, I hear you. Why do you think that? Yeah, I agree.

It's weird. Do you remember when Dad started shaving his pubes because Chris and I were shaving our pubes? I know. I wanted to be you, guys. What a nerd. Why? You learn from your children. Let him have fun.

I'm just messing with him. I don't think he's a nerd for that. What's up, Secretaries of Stoke? I have a situation that I would like both of your input on. I do not like to drink, but my friends do. I'm not really a wild person in general, and I feel like whenever we are at a party or something, I lower the stoke of my squad because I am sober

and they are having a dang time. I don't want to be a schmole, and I can tell sometimes that I affect the overall stoke level of the squad. What should I do to make sure my boys maintain optimal stoke when we go bro down or go to parties? I would say, you know, people don't care as much that you're not drinking as you think they do. Yes.

Like, we were at the Dodgers game, you weren't drinking. I didn't even notice. Right. Until you said you weren't. I was like, oh, I didn't even know. I agree. I don't think you should do anything you don't want to do. And your friends, if they love you and like you, so what if you don't drink?

I think it's great just don't do it by peer pressure either just keep it up yeah i think it's wonderful and like you say i don't think they notice either yeah and dude it's like still waters run deep like just because you might not be raging at the level that they're raging doesn't mean you're not as interesting as they are you know what i mean it's more visible to see how they're interesting but you got a lot going on inside of you that's specials dude watch the uh like stories of old about baby driver i borrowed a lot about what i just said from there and it's a lot about how like introversion being introspective is uh being introvert is underrated hello from the mitten state my bros first of all i dig the pot and it always skyrockets my stoke high stoke and all i'm in need of advice i lost a game of what are the odds to my dankest bro tyler who looks just like

chris hemsworth awesome he's a freaking hot dude basically i have to drop a dump on his foot i want to do it at our mutual bros bachelor party but it may be more dope to drop the turd nugget on tyler at his own bachelor party however tyler isn't seeing any, Tyler isn't seeing any, however, Ty isn't seeing any Tiffany's at the moment, and I don't know when that might happen. So should I shit on Tyler at our mutual bros rager, or play the waiting game and risk losing a moment that will bond us together forever? Side note,

we were thinking of getting matching bro tattoos at the bachelor party. Any suggestions? This is for you boys. I think strike while the iron's hot You know He has a golden opportunity right here You gotta drop this turd as soon as possible Because tomorrow is never promised

Yes You need to secure that memory And cut that loaf And also for tattoos Just get each other's faces Probably on your calves. Smart. Yeah, something subtle that won't bother anybody else.

Just do that. And make sure you get a good face, like a Lucian Freud painting, where you get all the dimensions of how grotesque we can look. Or maybe across your shoulder blades. That's badass. Just make sure you really like each other for the rest of your lives. I mean, tattoo of somebody else's face is a big thing.

But do it for sure. Would you rather get a tattoo of your best friend's face or Joe Rogan's face? Or your who? Joe Rogan. Do you know Joe Rogan? No. I'd love to do like half of your face and half of Rogan's face. Who's Rogan?

Like when Bush and Gore were battling for Florida to see who was president. Time Magazine did a cover with both their faces. The potato chip count. Something similar to that. When they did the potato chip counts. Yeah. So this lady wrote in a couple of weeks ago saying that she wanted our seed. And Chad is in a relationship.

And she wrote back today and said, hello, I'm so sorry for being late. I wrote in about getting me pregnant. How are you? And the subject was reply for JT, I want your seed. Do you have any new thoughts on it? I'm actually seeing someone right now. Well, as a mother, if JT gives the seed to somebody, I'd like to see the result of it.

You want grandkids. I love grandkids. I'm dying for grandkids. But unfortunately, I don't think this person... That's what I mean. This isn't our moment. It is his seed after all. I mean, I have no saying in it. It's with his body, whatever he wants.

But if he's going to reproduce, I'd like to be around to see that beautiful baby. Yeah, I wasn't sure how that sentence was going to reproduce, I'd like to be around to see that beautiful baby. Yeah, I wasn't sure how that sentence was going to end. What do you think about the idea of him giving his seed for Mother Russia? Because that's what she wants. She's from Russia, and she wants to have a strong Russian child,

and she thinks for some reason us cross-pollinating could make for a good Russian baby. I don't know. I just don't. could make for a good Russian baby? I don't know. I just don't... If you cannot get pregnant, I understand doing something like that, but just for doing it, I don't agree.

You like the old-fashioned way of... Definitely. You're a traditionalist, mama. I am. Congrats on the new relation. Thank you. I know. I'm so excited.

I cannot wait to meet her yeah oh dudes the whole squad and i play fortnite a lot but recently things have gotten a little toxic we will mercilessly rail on my friend about railing his mom sometimes even random people online join our game we'll get in on the joke to his credit he has a great sport about it and doesn't seem to get too mad should we stop should we stop talking about his mom like that even though it's fucking hilarious i just threw the anime titties in the title for comedic effect because the title was fortnight of my friend's mom featuring anime titties i don't understand it but i get it i think it's disrespectful yeah mom i don't understand it, but I get it. I think it's disrespectful.

Yeah, Mom. I don't know if the mothers would appreciate it. And this is one of those jokes that can really end up making somebody really upset. Because if he gets, you know, whatever. Did you ever mess with any of your girlfriends that you were going to bone their dads? No. It's so refreshing to have your perspective because with the dudes, they can be like, oh, it's just a joke.

You know, there's no victim here. But then with JT's mom here, you can see that there is someone like their feelings are going to get hurt. Yeah. All right, guys, that's it for questions this week. All right. I think we gave some good advice. I love this. You guys are so good at this you're

a great guest yeah you're so much fun yeah i talk a lot no it's great it's great chad who is your beef of the week my beef of the week is i was watching wedding crashers recently uh first i just want to say it's one of my favorite movies. I love Wedding Crashers. Great movie. But my beef of the week is with Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers. Now, when you watch the movie, they sort of frame it like he's kind of a hero, like he's saving Rachel McAdams from this guy.

But then when you take a step back and you see what he's actually doing, you're like, this is really weird and creepy and kind of douchey. You know what I mean? He's going to this house house pretending to be another dude to try and steal this dude's girlfriend almost fiance so even if bradley cooper is a big douche in the movie and he's kind of a bad guy i think the whole idea of what he's doing owen wilson he's like i gotta stay i gotta i gotta like get this girl i'm like this is really weird and kind of messed up. You know what I mean?

Absolutely. So when you take a step back, you're like, dude, what are you doing? Like, leave that house. Yeah, like if the camera was following any of the other characters around and not Owen Wilson, you'd think Owen Wilson's character was a schmuck. Yeah, you'd be like, why do you keep hanging around trying to take walks with her and get air? I was like,

I was like, damn dude. I agree. And you know what? Yeah. And then, um, uh, Vince Vaughn.

No, I know. I love him, but Bradley Cooper had, now that you mentioned it, had every right to hate Owen Wilson. Yeah. To kick his ass.

Yeah. To kick his ass. Actually, yeah. Yeah. You made a good point. So I just, yeah, I was watching it and I just had that new perspective. I'm like, it's kind of fucked up.

It's true. It's a curse. Mom, who is your beef of the week? Well, I have two. The Real Housewives of Burberry Hills. I love watching that show. I only watch three reality shows. That one,

Naked and Afraid, and Chrisley Knows Best. I love that family. But the Real Housewives is like, I love them and I hate them. They're always trying to make each other fight, although they say they're not. And the other one is a more

serious subject, and it's the pharmaceutical business. How they just keep charging, and somebody buys a company privately, and insulin prices go up, and they just make money and deny medicines with people that have illnesses. And I have someone who's going through that with her children. So to me, the pharmaceutical companies are an ugly mafia. Well said, Mama. I totally agree. My Beef of the Week is with United Airlines.

I flew on them from Miami back to Southern California, and as a lot of you know, I'm afraid of flying. My issue is they had someone who kept going on the intercom system and going, ah! It happened five times over the flight. Just a random voice that never got identified. Cause I asked after the flight, I was like, did you guys ever figure out what that was going on? And they were like, no, but like, we're going to file some kind of report, but someone kept going over the intercom and I thought it was the fucking pilot. So I'm stuck on the plane and I hear the pilot,

I think twice before we take off, go, and I'm like, I'm not, I don't want'm stuck on the plane and i hear the pilot i think twice before we take off go and i'm like i'm not i don't want to be on this plane anymore this guy's about to fucking crash this plane because he's a hooligan and then oh my god you got a point there and it just kept happening it happened yeah a bunch and it was terrifying it's scary stuff yeah and it was a little bit less afraid than the yelp i'm doing but but it was a Yelp. No, I agree with you because you don't know if it's some psycho that at one point said, okay, something remark and take the plane. Are you right? I'm sorry.

We put a lot of faith, and they do an incredible job. It's a one in 2.5 million chance that something bad happens to you on an airplane, and there's 200,000 planes in the air at any given moment, but we put a lot of faith in airplane pilots in their mental well-being you're absolutely right i'm sorry you went through that i know how you feel could she be any sweeter chad who is your babe of the week my babe of the week is this is a long time coming a lot of people requested that this guy be legend of the week but i gotta go with babe it's 11 time world champ wave creator baywatch star environmental activist and the proud owner of killer eyes kelly slater dude long overdue long overdue best surfer i mean

tournament his competitive spirit, everything about him. You know, he's a happy guy. When you see him in interviews, he's always cheerful. He dominates in the water. He gets in competitors' heads. He's a great surfer, super fast. I mean, amazing surfer. He's so fast.

And also, he comes from Florida. Small waves. Cocoa Beach, those are small waves. And then he goes to Hawaii and dominates. Wins pipe. I don't know how many times he's won pipe. But that's, you know, you go from like two-foot waves to like 10-foot Hawaiian big barrels. That's a big step.

Hollow spitters. People are like, oh, Kelly, he's all small waves. He can't make the transition to big waves. He made the transition. And now he's 11-time world champ. He can do anything he puts his mind to. And he's what? He's almost 50 years old now.

The reason he's a babe, he looks incredible. He's a massive babe. He dated Pamela Anderson. He's bald, but his eyes are... Bald men are sexy. Oh, yeah. He has high testosterone, mama. And he's like a healthy guy, too.

Super healthy. Super healthy. Just an inspiring guy. He's like, I'm going to create a wave and he does it. He's still competing. He has so much like competitive spirit

and yeah, he's just, I've seen him surfing live too. It's pretty, pretty unbelievable. Excuse me. A little tickle. Are you okay?

Do you need a second? Yeah. Oh, in the video when he, when they, the wave the video when they first create this man-made wave, when they first see it, it's pretty cool. I like it when it's in my hair. Anna Bae. My babe of the week is Cameron Diaz.

Good call. Did you do Cameron Diaz already? I don't think so. Well, she's worthy of getting it every week, so it's all right if we're repeating. I watched something about Mary when I was in Florida. And I think a big part of this podcast also, just to go on a quick tangent, is rebranding Florida. A lot of people talk about just how Florida is a place where like the worst things happen.

And I haven't seen all of Florida, but it's also a place where the best things happen. And I think we do a good job of serving that side of things. But yeah, Cameron Diaz and something about Mary. I mean, I know she's supposed to be kind of like a manic pixie dream girl. That's like almost like just an amalgamation of what every guy wants, but she plays it beautifully and it works. And at one point she tells Ben Stiller like, hey, do you want to go upstairs and watch SportsCenter? My mind was blown. I mean, can you just imagine a beautiful woman saying that to you? Could there be anything more exciting in the world than that phrase coming out of a beautiful woman's mouth? I can't think of one. And she's just been great in so many things.

And she can go from that part to something totally against type, like in being John Malkovich. And she's brilliant in both. And I just think she has a, yeah, underrated range. She's had a long, great career. And then she also did an MTV reality show where it was about her going into the wilderness and hiking. And in one episode, Eva Mendes is in it. And Eva Mendes farts. And they didn't cut it from the final episode. And I think that kind of courage from Cameron Diaz and Eva Mendes. I'm not a big fan of farts, male or female.

But I did respect it in that one moment. That's something that needed to be said. I love Cameron Diaz. I love hearing the woman. Good one. Way to go, Cameron. All right, Chad, who is your legend of the week? You don't want to know my babe of the week?

Did I skip you, Mom? Yes. Oh, my gosh, guys. I'm so sorry, Mom. Sorry. My boyfriend. Oh, Greg's your babe of the week? Yes.

He's a beast. He's so sweet. He takes such a good care of me. Okay, so I've been binging on this Colombian show. I stay Friday in bed all day long. The bedroom is upstairs. He brought me breakfast, lunch, and dinner to bed so I didn't have to go to the kitchen and stop my show.

That is a babe. That's awesome. He's a great guy. Hilarious, too. He drove me here. He just takes great care of me. He's a wonderful guy. I had to tell you to forget me because I was dying to say it. My legend? Chad, who is your legend of the week? My legend of the week is Owen Wilson.

I'm bringing it back around. Wow! Because I love Owen Wilson, you know. Zoolander, Behind Enemy Lines, Starsky and Hutch, You, Me, and Dupree. he's a super fun actor to watch starsky and hutch did i mention that i think i did yeah so i thought he did a great job on wedding crashers you know despite the motivations or whatever he says wow in a really unique way and it's uh people have really caught on to it and they appreciate the way he says wow. I like that about him. I like him in the mid-fackers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I like him in the Royal Tenderbonds. Oh, wow. Yeah, he's great.

Wow. Yeah, I know. Wow. Exactly. He is good. Good call. Great hair, too. Anaconda.

Oh, yeah. Oh, he was in Anaconda. Oh, my God. And his nose is all messed up, but he owns it. He's like not changing it. I own my nose. I do like that. His nickname, the Butterscotch Stallion.

You know why? Why? They said he ate some chick's butt. Nice. Some lady's butt. Sorry, Mom. Where? In the butt.

Well, just randomly? The story got out, and then everyone just started calling him the Butterscotch Stallion, and that was in an EW profile about him I read. I guess that really doesn't make him that different from a lot of men. Yeah. But he wore it as a nickname and he wore it proudly. Well, he's one of the only guys who can get a good nickname out of that. Right. Yeah. A lot of other guys would be like, you know, the Dirt Muncher. Yeah. Just doesn't have the same appeal as the Butterscotch Stallion. It's the hair. And then actually, I have a quick segue too. I heard a story about the late, great James Gandolfini.

Maybe the greatest performance of all time is Tony Soprano on The Sopranos. Right. I heard a story from a friend of a friend that when his girlfriend was in college, James Gandolfini was filming a movie in New Orleans where she went to college. And he went out with her and her girlfriends. And he ended up hitting it off with one of the girls, brought her back to his hotel room, tied her up, and went down on her for a couple hours.

She said she had a great time. There's so many secrets in so many people. You leave people alone. I think it's a nice story. I think it's great. All the stories are fun as long as they're enjoying it. If it's both wanted, they're both liking it, it's not hitting anybody else,

go at anything. So what? It's not for anybody to judge. Wow. Wow. And then okay, yeah, my legend of the week is J.J. Redick.

NBA player for the Philadelphia 76ers. One of the best shooters in history, probably. I probably put him in the top 10. And, you know, he started off at Duke. He was the best player in college basketball. He was also the most hated player in college basketball. That's what happens.

Why? Because Duke is just kind of like the blue bloods of the sport, and everyone kind of resents them for their success, and they're kind of like a superiority. Like they kind of act like they're better than everybody else whether that's real or just perceived that's how people think about him and uh and he became the embodiment of that and it often happens to the best white player at duke like christian leitner jj reddick and grayson allen and you know sometimes those guys are annoying like grayson allen was kind of brought in on himself because he was a dirty player.

But J.J. Redick not only was a great shooter, but he doesn't let you put him in a box. He does a podcast now. He has a lot of tattoos. He used to be very clean cut. But really the thing that I was most impressed by is that when he was in college, he read his poetry on SportsCenter. And I'll put the poetry at the end of this episode. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah.

And was the poetry good? No. Is any poetry good? poetry at the end of this episode. Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, and was the poetry good? No. Is any poetry good? Most of the time, no. I've read some poetry on here. I've listened back to that episode. I'm embarrassed. And I'm sure JJ's embarrassed by the fact that he read poetry on SportsCenter. But good on you for giving us that entertainment

and for having no hindsight. Thank you, JJ. Alright, Chad. All right, Chad. I don't know. Mom, I'm so sorry. My legend of the week is a girlfriend of mine who just came to visit from Holland for five days. She got in on Monday around 4 o'clock.

She got out of customs, and she leaves back to Holland on Friday at 7 11 hour flight plus airports and traveling and she is here because her kids have terminal illness and she came here looking for more information from non-profit organizations in the United States.

She did all her investigation. She made appointments. They're welcoming her here. She's the only European that's going to be part of this. She wants to find a cure. And that's why I went to the, before we was the pharmaceutical companies, because what she's going through. So I admire her.

I mean, she is, I thought she was going to come out and I was going to see a disaster. And she's just like, if I can't get more than five years from my kid's life. And she's smiling and she's sitting in the sun. I miss the sun in Holland. There's no sun right now. Let me just sit in the sun.

And she's just so positive, but she's fighting this. And she has other children from Europe that come from Romania and Poland, and their treatments are in Germany. And she did a nonprofit to help kids from other countries too. So she is my legend of the week because her positivism and how she's working it's really amazing

that was sweet mama yeah thank you wonderful girl yeah she's in our thoughts for sure

yeah she's in my thoughts and maybe one day I'll start asking money through this for helping her organization okay

yeah I leave it alone for now Chad who is your what is your quote of the week organization. Okay. Yeah. Sure. I leave it alone for now. Chad, who is your, what is your quote of the week? Uh,

my quote of the week comes from, uh, wedding crashers again. Nice. I'm just going on wedding crashers. I like it though. Yeah. Yeah. Uh,

one of my favorite scenes is when you remember when Will Ferrell, his little cameo. Oh God, I love it. Yeah. Mom, mom, the meatloaf, the meatloaf mom, mom. I little cameo. Oh, God, I love it. Mom! Mom! The meatloaf.

The meatloaf, Mom! Mom! I knew you would. Mom! Oh, you want some? Yeah, so my quote is from Will Ferrell in Wedding Crashers, where he goes, yeah, man, the funerals are insane. Chicks are so horny, it's not even fair.

Wilson's like, horny? He's like, yeah, crazy horny. Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac. Nice. Wise words from Will Ferrell. Mom, what's your quote of the week? I don't know what my quote of the week is. I wasn't asked to bring one.

I forgot to prep you one. I'll tell you to prep one. I'm sorry. I don't know. And yours? Mine is from the movie Midnight in Paris. Oh, yes. Okay.

We talked about that earlier. Yeah. This is Ernest Hemingway, played really well by Corey Stoll. And he's talking to Owen Wilson. Yes. Oh, there we go. All right. And he says, I believe that love that is true and real creates a respite from death.

All cowardice comes from not loving or not loving well, which is the same thing. And then the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face, like some rhino hunters I know, or Belmonte, who is truly brave. It is because they make love with sufficient passion to push death out of their minds

until it returns, as it does to all men. And then he must make really good love again. Very good. I got a little lost. I will must make really good love again. Very good. I got a little lost. I will have to really, really slow. Anything else? That's it for me. Well, Mahaka, thank you so much for coming in.

I thank you for it, man. I had such a good time. This is so fun. Every time you guys invite me somewhere, I have a blast. This is great. This is awesome. Yeah, you got a great energy.

Thank you so much for doing it. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you. I love you too. You too. Thanks a great energy. Thank you so much for doing it. I love you. I love you so much. Thank you. I love you too. You too. Thanks for having me. I'm so proud.

And this really was a blast. It was fun. You guys kicked butt. I love it. So do you. You are amazing. Don't embarrass me, okay? No, that's it, Stokers.

You know, as always, we are brought to you by UCI Baseball. My friend Danny Babona is a wonderful coach there. Also a new father, what up, Colt? And if you're a young dude who can throw a ball or hit it out of the park, the place to go is UCI. They should call UC Newport Beach because it's right there. Epic, yeah. We're also brought to you by Douglas Lubricant.

Guys, you know what's good with that. And that will be it for episode 66, Going Deep in Chat and JT. Thank you again for coming in. Thank you. Stay stoked, Stokers. Yeah, stay stoked. Yeah.

Thank you, guys. Thanks, Mom. 2005. I can't see what my future has in store, but I move forth with the strength of a condor, the courage of a warrior. Reddick has been writing poetry since junior high school. He says it's his escape. A sharp thorn once cut my soul. The blood flowed, but no bandage would cover the wound. I asked the Lord, what am I to do? He said, son, I made the sky blue.

The rain falls because of me. Leaves change colors on a fall tree. I was the inspiration to Martin Luther King. I'm the reason Ray Charles could sing. I've given strength to others through and through. And my son, I'll do the same to you.