Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 73 - Strider Joins, Chernobyl, Ron Artest/Ben Wallace Fight

Episode Date: June 5, 2019

What up stokers, in episode 73, we have our dawg Strider join for an epic dive into the HBO miniseries "Chernobyl", the overpopulation on Everest, a full on analysis of the Ron Artest/Ben Wallace fight, and an epic tale of a deuce that led to a potential break up. Check it out! New Going Deep T-Shirts available at www.chadgoesdeep.com!!

Oh, there we are episode 73 of going deep with Chad and JT. Welcome my dogs and what up to episode 73? What up, dude? deep with Chad and JT welcome my dogs and what up to episode 73 what up dude we got what's up and we got our dog back in studio welcome strider in the building legends dude stoked to be here stoked to be with my dog so fired up dudes it's the post cabo crew yep oh yeah good times dude very relaxing super dank dude I mean that hotel was right on the water dude i was going to what going to sleep next to my two dogs dude uh even though i had the cot but that's chill dude i mean you know what can you do dude i mean you know i was super stoked to be there and just dude listening to the waves crash hearing my dogs breathing easy next to me dude and watching

freaking face off like three nights in a row legit it's a great movie yeah i knew it was going to be a good vacation when we walked into the room and immediately there's a hammock yeah good call it was nice to wake up get out of bed cruise outside check the waves and then just spend a little more time in that hammock you know yeah you know i'm not quite ready to start moving yet let me chill I think I'll always remember the trip for how many avocados I ate every day. Dude, you were hot. Dude, it was impressive. We would get guacamole and salsa, you know, one in Rome. We're down in Cabo.

Of course, we want some. And the guacamole they gave you, this wasn't one of those stingy places where it's like, oh, here's your little one side of guac. Yeah. There was like three avocados in this guac. And then Jt would order his meal and be like also can i get an avocado on the side in every way you're very nice guy all different very nice guys each of them the same reaction okay i can see it in your skin you're

glowing now you look good dude you look good and you put a little what's it put a little pepper on there dude it looked dang i'm not gonna lie it looks good it's a good meal yeah i love avocado yeah the the guac is like a tub they're like here let's put this keg full of guac here and they put some dank like i don't know like oaxacan style cheese in there that even though we were in cabo yeah so dang queso fresco it felt like yeah oh that was called oaxacan uh yeah that's like um i feel like it's heavily used like i went to this uh me and my gf went to this like dank oaxacan style mexican food place which i feel like they kind of do in like um and that's a state in mexico right yeah yeah an area of mexico and um all i know like the the definition to me is like they have that cheese

and it's not too much as spicy like maybe it's closer to tex-mex i could be way off i'm sure someone knows better than i do but in any case very dank is all i'm saying i think my dog's on the money appreciate my dog i've noticed you are able to name these extravagant foods like oaxacan cheese yeah i can't even think of any other names because i don't know any but maybe you could list some off oh dude um right now you sriracha is one that we all know yeah but um dude me and my gf get sriracha shrimp bowls from trader joe's very dank you know a lot of people shy away from the frozen foods but dude you're at tj's they're keeping it right dude you look at that you look at turn it over dude serving size not too much salt in the frozen dish very dank dude not to be nitpicky but i think what we're looking for is something with like a specific regional name oh yes yes um dang dude let's see um i mean you

know of course there's szechuan chicken we all know that but szechuan is a region in china you know what i mean kung pao a region oh ni hao hao. Strider, when the pressure is on, you deliver, my friend. Appreciate my dogs. Appreciate my dog. My freaking dogs, dude. Kunichi wa, my dog. Pad Kee Mao is a freaking dank Thai dish where my GF and I went recently for my B-Day. We did Thai dinner.

We love Thai. And that's a region in Thailand, too. Close to Khao Sok, which is where we went. We didn't ride the elephants. It's not good to ride the elephants. that's a region in Thailand too. Close to Khao Sok, which is where we went in freaking, we didn't ride the elephants. It's not good to ride the elephants. You know, there's the,

I forget the name of the dude who like oversees the elephants. It's like, you know how there's a Sherpa who will like lead you up Everest, which, foreshadow. But, it's like the person who is,

like has the relationship with the elephant like best. Like they like love each other. The elephant man. Dude elephant man dude exactly and like they're supposed to be the only ones how do you know they love each other oh there's no question dude like you the elephants dude very receptive very loving creatures dude there where i was was a reserve it was all females sadly because the males were poached for their tusks a boner jam total boner jam and so you would go there and like you could bathe the elephants and feed them and there was this one i'm gonna say kind of a cradle robber elephants live a long time she was like 53 dude and she kept freaking putting her tusk around me

we had good energy dude right we were vibing and she didn't do that some of the other dudes there was this buff dude who tried to take down some freaking thai spies um he like he's like super buff and his girlfriend also buff like a crossfit couple and he's like i want the thai spice try to house it his face was red and tearing up his girlfriend's like babe you don't have to he's like i'm liking this i'm enjoying this everyone there was like very uncomfortable for him the elephants did not like that guy you had bad energy dude the elephants are like nah dude yeah what what kind of do what kind of things would they do to display their affection mainly tap on the butt with a trunk.

I mean, dude, their eyes are very present. Like, have you ever been to the zoo and they're like, don't look the gorillas in the eyes? And then you're like, fuck that. And then you do it and you're like, whoa, there's a soul behind there. Right. Like, there's a soul, like a horse. Like, there's a soul in there, you know? Whoa.

Their eyes are very, very present. It's almost like they tell you not to look the animals in the eyes, not because of what it'll do to the animal, but because of what it'll do to you. Damn. It's all about the moolah. The jing. Money, sex, and power. Baby.

Name of our first album. Zoo Culture. Zoo Culture. Zoo Culture. It's the name of a gym in Thousand Oaks. Dude, Zoo Culture, you could literally go to Huntington Beach, start a gym called Zoo Culture, put some exotic animals, like gator,

and just doing power cleans next to it, dude. Oh, dude. What animal represents each lift? JT's probably the expertise on this, but a cheetah, obviously, is going to be your cardio. You're on the treadmill. You know what I'm saying? Dude, you got to throw pitbulls in there every time i see like my girlfriend has a pitbull mix and i'll just look at her her name is rosie i'll just look at her quads i'll be like

rosie what are you doing for your quads and then she like just kind of stares at me i'm like like oh yeah you can't talk right you know and we have the interaction like every time I walk in I'm like Rosie. What up, dude? Like what are you doing for those hands and we like look each other I'm like, oh fuck you can't talk it's but dude, but you feel it though, but she knows you're there Yeah, like she you can you look at Rosie and you look at her eyes. She's present Yeah, I try to make eye contact maybe do some like mine thing because I think we're all you know He heard on Joe Rogan all the time. We're like almost to like being able to read minds so i'm like maybe i can sort of cross that threshold but um nah maybe one day i mean i guess until then just you know keep super setting squats

with something explosive and then you know isolating the quads on some lunges i think it's the i think he's a bioethicist peter singer he says it's okay to bone animals if it's mutually pleasurable i don't know if that's like his main thing but i've seen that he gave people the green light on that interesting i mean it's just tough you really got to get consent from that animal otherwise you're uh you know and i want to say for the record yeah i'm on the fence yeah you know i have felt you know for a long time that i have a special connection with golden retrievers like sexual just some special there's a tingling that goes on in my body and like i don't you know i see a golden retriever and they look at me and

they just i'm like maybe it's the flow well i can't explain you know it's more like a look they give where they're just they're just like are you gonna fuck me or not i'm like what i feel you right do you then you give them a treat and then you're like that's what it was all along i'm gonna give you a different kind of hungry yeah i give them a different kind of bone yeah exactly dude exactly oh dude that's what i'm talking about which bone do you give milk bone milk bone yeah oh and then some of that bacon that's not bacon keeping them healthy one of those little sticks to chew on to keep their teeth uh nice and healthy and their breath fresh or a dog with peanut butter

yeah yeah get a nice very hot yeah a dog with peanut butter. Yeah. Get a nice, very hot. Yeah, you put the peanut butter inside the little bone. Yeah. The reusable bone. Yeah. We'll go to town on that. Yeah. Dude, Cabo is such a great town, too.

It's just designed to, like, get you lit. Yeah. Like, it's just like, hey, welcome. There's no speed bumps here. Just go as fast as you want to go in the party lane. You're ordering three shots of tequila at breakfast. Nobody's blinking. Nobody's skipping a beat.

You order an extra avocado, little blink, but let's keep rolling. You got the green light. That's just how that town is. Also, dude, when we were at Nowhere Bar, and I mean our buzzes were just hitting a nice level, dude. Oh, yeah, Nowhere Bar. We were at Nowhere Bar. And, dude, we were doing it right. We were ordering some shots of freaking Dank Don Julio

and water bottles, dude. We were being genius about it. Really beneficial the next day. Really beneficial. But then we look over, and, dude, I'm not going to lie to you, old dudes on Cabo trip were loving JT. From the plane, there was this old dude loving talking to JT. Everywhere we went, dude, restaurants, surfer dudes at the hotel, they'd just see JT, and they'd be like, come here.

Dude, I went down to breakfast. JT's just housing an avocado by himself. Probably his fifth avocado of the day. It was 9 a.m. Just chilling there, dude. Holding court with like eight old dudes. I don't even know what they're talking about, dude. Nice.

Incredible. I just let them talk. Yeah, what do you think it is? That's what it is. Is it your youthful kind of Latino passion? I think that's definitely a big part of it. Or is it your interest level? I think it's...

I give them eye contact that I get it. I say, I understand what you're doing. I appreciate it. And I know where you're coming from. I try to convey that in my face and in my good to meet you. Do they open up to you? Like, do they start diving into their marriages or what? Sometimes.

Yeah. Yeah. I had my driving instructor when i was like 15 like he dropped me off and he had tears in his eyes really my mom was like what did you guys talk about and i was like it's like marriage and uh when they closed the air force base in el toro we drove by it he was just talking about change yeah and his brother him and his brother were competitive but once he came back from the military he's like dude i can't fight you anymore like i'm trained to put guys down unreal that you're able to focus on this and learn where your hazard lights are

yeah you know and how to take an unprotected left do the three-point impressive dude yeah diving into someone's like tough marriage while you're doing a three-point turn 100 dude that's learning your parallel parking talking about militaristic infrastructure, dude. Yeah. Big time stuff. Whoa. Big time stuff. I don't even know what that means.

Neither do I. My mom walked in on my guitar teacher talking to me one time. And I say walk in because this is what he was saying. He goes, JT, what you have to understand is that the vagina is designed like a baseball mitt. It's hard it can take an impact the ass rectum is like tissue paper my mom was like uh what's up bob you're practicing chords or what he was hilarious he wrote this cornball song no disrespect bob

you're a great guy um but i just didn't think the song had a mature enough perspective. But it was about love and all the different languages. So he says, I love you in nine different languages. But it was a little just too treacly and cute. But he calls Alicia Keys' office from my house so they wouldn't recognize the number or something. Oh, man. So I'm just sitting there.

He's like, hey, did Alicia get the demo? And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're in the review process right now yeah bob was like all right cool good i was like bob come on dude that's amazing i got another uh guitar uh instructor story um my parents like wanted us to like all and learn instruments you know with looking back as a kid you hate it you're like well i don't want to learn the piano this is is so stupid. Then you get older and you're like, oh, man, what a great skill to have.

I wish I would have done it. It's amazing to have. I'm sure. So relaxing. They say youth's wasted on the young, you know, and in that case, musicality it is. But they wanted us to take this guitar lesson with this dude named Randy that we met at, like,

the music shop where my dad bought, like, too many instruments and we all, like, sucked at them. Except my brother Andrew. he's really good. And Matthew's not bad. But freaking, we go to this dude's house, Randy's house. My dad's driving us. We pull up and it's kind of where my house in Sam Juan is now. My mom's house is like right down there,

like right across from Ambul. And we go there and there's just a mannequin in the front window with like Christmas lights on it and lingerie we go there, and there's just a mannequin in the front window with like Christmas lights on it and lingerie. My dad, immediate U-turn. Never learned to play the guitar, boys. It was June. Very strange.

We did not get my dad's like, no one's going into that house. What was he thinking putting that in his window? Dude, that was his decor style, dude, you know? I kind of respected that. He's like, hey, neighbors. Maybe he's like, maybe. I'm a freak. Maybe only true musicians can come in this house

because musicians are so free-spirited and wild. He's like, if you can take a mannequin, put a thong on and Christmas lights, then you're wild enough to become a musician. Dude, that's really, yeah. Because if Prince saw that, he'd probably walk right in. Yeah. He'd be like, those are the wrong lights wrong lights yeah prince would already be wearing that outfit he'd

be like i need to discover what kind of sexuality that is yep yeah yeah through my guitar neck yep and then what's who's the other david bowie's just like dude oh you're on my wavelength yeah dude what's the name of your mannequin i've already named it and given it a whole backstory if you're a Bowie. Yeah. From another planet to space traveler. He's been here. He's trapped in an iron bucket and he landed in your window. What's the name of your mannequin in your window?

And what's it wearing? Interesting, dude. I love this. Dude, honestly, probably my name of my mannequin is like Gavin. And he's probably like in a turtleneck and khakis and just a pretty gathered guy. You know, I want people to feel comfortable. Like,

Hey, you can come to my window and, uh, you know, you can probably get any, any, it's like a Steve jobs type looking, um,

mannequin. What's a, what's your mannequin? My mannequin. Um, man, the strategy side, such a fire mannequin it's hard to i mean do these i can mass produce these things it's hard to narrow me too yeah and make another yeah no no i mean that

same one i make that one like you're gonna be two gavin's um yeah but i can make another mannequin dude freaking gavin needs a gf of course dude fire gf one of those mannequins you see on like the, you know, like a local like bodega in a tourist town. Yeah. Excuse me. You just, you know, got all the right. I was going to go with a female mannequin. Respect. Just because of the sexuality thing.

But I'd go with more of like the modern woman, you know, so maybe some a pantsuit and a nice blouse. Like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl? Yeah. And a beret. Whoa. Dang. She's stylish. Yeah.

She probably works. Sounds like she works at a magazine. Yeah. But with sunscreen in hand. So, you know that, you know, it's not just, you know, Devil Wears Prada. It's like Devil Wears Prada plus Cabo. Legit. What mannequin do you have, dude?

I think my mannequin's like 5'10". Nice. Pretty well built, kind of like Mel Gibson's build. And he's wearing swim trunks. kind of like Mel Gibson's build. And he's wearing swim trunks. And he's kind of turning away from the window like he's in movement. I love that.

Like he's going somewhere. Exactly. I like that too. He's not going from something. He's going towards something. Yeah. Love that. I thought you were saying turning away

because he was shy. I thought about that. But the more I thought about that but I think I but the more I thought about it I just think when you think about a mannequin in the window it feels like it's watching you and I want my mannequin to feel like it's just living its life mmm-hmm you're spying on it mm-hmm yeah dudes so we had a big week uh and stuff happening we we were featured again on the howard stern show that was that was tight that was crazy and then we got to shoot a uh video with uh zed to promote his new concert zed in the park in los angeles get your tickets, guys. Yeah, September 7th. I think it's in Los Angeles.

Zedd will be in the park. We'll be there, probably. Dude, concerts at an outdoor venue? Very dank. Dude, Zedd's house was ridiculous. Unreal. And yeah, it's just like on top of a hill and he has

hibachi grills. Built into the countertop. What? And he had trees with like sponges for leaves inside the house. Whoa. Yeah. Foliage inside. Yeah.

Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet Zed. We shot on different days, but we met his brother. Arkady. Very cool guy. What'd you say? Something different. Arkady. He was a good guy.

And it was fun. It was really fun. He has a gym in there. The gym was great. That's what it's all about. Lots of cars. Very modern. He had the Theragun that everyone's talking about now.

Oh, yeah. My brother's got one of those, dude. Infinity Pool. So nice. Should I drop the tidbit about the keg stand? Oh, yeah, yeah. So according to Zed's brother, their cousin did his first keg stand because of Chad Goes Deep.

Really? Yeah. High praise. I mean, that's probably the most fire thing that I've heard in a long, long time. Yeah. That's sort of what you want when you start making art. It's like, I hope I can inspire some young potential partier to get after it dude yeah 100 and i'll even take a step farther and say that a keg stand is a group experience you're

bringing with art you want to bring bros and everyone together and like a keg stand takes three bros or two bros if one of them's jacked to lift you up and then probably another third maybe one jack bro to lift you another jack bro to keep pumping the keg and then the dude that's doing the stand so i mean that's people working together to get have a nice time so that fires me up yeah and someone to cheer you on yeah oh i think that's super important yeah it's like a minimum of three or two but the number can be as big as you want it yeah yep and then if you get a person you don't expect to do it doing it like you get like the soccer coach doing it although the soccer coach ends up coming to too

many parties and you're like all right now this guy might need to get fired yeah less is more yeah yeah but yeah i mean you i've seen like but you, or like you get like a mom to be doing it and then everyone just goes, ape shit, bro. Oh my God. Yeah. Dude, Zed messaged us and he's like, come to Zed in the park and do keg stands there. He said that? Mm-hmm. Wow.

That's so cool. Nice tie. So I think, come to Zed in the park and we'll all do keg stands. Fired up, dude. Some freaking BL smooths or some Coors lights, dude. Yeah. What's your preferred keg brewski? I probably got to go Coors.

Coors Light. Yeah. Light though, right? Of course. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Not regular Coors. Coors, the banquet beer.

I mean, that's like if I'm having a nice little patty melt. My GF's crushing some dank, maybe like a, probably a dank like grilled cheese or something vegetarian. Maybe a nice piece of fish, like cedar plank salmon. And then we're splitting some bee sprouts. Bee sprouts for sure. Brussels sprouts. I checked out for a second.

How did you get there? Oh, I was going to say, that's the only time, occasion, I'll have like a regular Coors. Oh. To go with, to compliment that meal. Yeah, that's when I'll do a Budweiser too. Yeah. Yeah. I love Budweiser.

Dude, you do like a Budweiser. Yeah yeah but as far as budweiser dude you do you do like a budweiser yeah interesting you love quantity beer cores light quality beer you go bug yeah but interesting that is interesting what are you what are you drinking i mean i love bud light respect i love their twitter feed respect um i uh yeah i used to be a big racer five guy but now i've been more cognizant of my skin especially after this fire jlo quote where she's like i don't drink because it fucks up your skin i'm like well that was poignant um so now i'm more on the light side i drink barley pops to preserve my facial features smart very smart hey by the way suckers we have emma in studio you may remember her what episode was were you on last like 50 something

yeah and uh we changed our logo it's got the in and out vibe much to aaron's chagrin suck it aaron if you listen to the last episode aaron does not like In-N-Out, so we changed the logo to spite his ass. Aaron, you know, I miss you, dude, but you fucked up, bro. I think he was so hurt that he's like, I can't even come in today. And now we have Emma, a true supporter of In-N-Out,

supporting us and the logo. But dude, you know, Aaron, you guys said he loves Five Guys. Now, Five guys is dank but it's a dank like only because they have so many ingredients there that you can put on your burger and it's it is fresh which i will give them that but as far as like in and out has a burger that they go we got you you're gonna get a double double and you're gonna love it that's what i respect about in andN-Out. By the way, JT's wearing the shirt right now.

Just happens to be. It's not a Five Guys shirt. And I'm not going to say I'm so comfortable with my burger choice that I don't need to discount anyone else's choice. If you like Five Guys, great, cool. I'm not going to say I hate it. I like it. Yeah, I'm not a burger elitist.

I think all burgers are great, but for him to just completely discount In-N-Out was just, it felt like a personal attack. And, you know, he's the man. I love him to death, but he fucked up. He did. And when he fucked up, when he fucked up, we got to come correct that so the logo is now. True.

We don't want to enable him, dude. We don't want to just keep letting this happen. We're going to be true good friends and be like, this is how it is, dude. Yeah. Don't even get me started on Whataburger, dude. It is so overrated. Yeah.

But it's good. I mean, we had it, and it's cool. But it's like people from Texas, it's defined in them, so they can't ever betray it because the Texans are loyal people, which I respect. Maybe that's the same thing with In-N-Out for usians true i haven't tried whataburger you're not missing much so we were told too that the logo might be infringed on copyright issues so trademark yeah in and out might take it down but there's parody law so we're trying to find out if there's

homage law because that's what we're doing. We're paying homage. Yeah. Dude, homage law is dank. Maybe if we could bring that to the court. I hope so. Yeah. That's a good call. Dude, we really should bring that to the court.

Yeah. That could be our next cause. Yeah. Homage law. Yeah, dude. Like you're giving homage to things and people need to know that that's okay. We're not taking away from the original thing. If anything, we're driving more adoration towards it.

Plus, we pretty much keep them in business with how many Flying Dutchmen we get. Yeah. True. You guys are probably, you are maybe two of the only dudes I know that get Flying Dutchmen and you love them. Like, you think I'm making fun of you?

Check, x-ray my belly, dude. Oh, dude, yeah. Oh, for sure, dude. Oh, dude. For sure. It's beef in there. You're beef. Thank you. Dude. I go straight up, dude. I go straight up animal sure, dude. Oh, dude. For sure. There's beef in there. You're beef. Thank you.

I go straight up, dude. I go straight up animal style, dude. Yeah, yeah. And straight up animal style on that jury if we have to. Let them know that this is what's up, dude. Speaking of X-raying stomachs, Chernobyl. Dude. Excellent segue.

Beautifully done, dude. Heavy. I remember I watched it remember i watched all four episodes heavy we get two more right it's a six-part miniseries greg said five one more okay so you know anatoly diatolov or whatever he's the guy who like denies it from the beginning he's like it from the beginning. He's one of the main guys. He's like, there's not graphite. So frustrating. You didn't see graphite because it's not there.

Stokers, if you haven't seen it, he's one of the main engineers. He's like, it didn't blow. We're all good. And yeah, he's a major douche, but I was thinking about it. I can't say I wouldn't do the same in that situation because I'd be so scared. I'd be like, what, dude? Nah, we're all good. Yeah, just come back later.

We got this figured out. And especially if you're living in a system like Russia where you're not allowed to question whoever ranks above you. Yeah. Like chain breaks down, we break down. So it's all about just being like the best yes man. Yeah, totally. So you don't even have those muscles to be like no yeah i love how the scientist like scales it out i love how he like paints it he's like it's 12 000 decim decim decrons or whatever it is of radiation every hour on the hour for the hour and you're like oh my god like this is insane

like how destructive this thing is i like like how they paint that for the audience. And then also knowing that they don't want to risk their own necks. They can't because of the state they live in. And it's like this umbrella of death is just expanding and expanding. And the stakes are so absurdly high every episode. I laugh when they're like, here's what's at stake.

The water in the entire world for the next 10,000 years. You're like here's what's at stake like the water in the entire world for the next 10 000 years you're like oh my god yeah like how drastic everything is he's like if we let this go then the whole continent is screwed and then for 10 000 years you can't go to europe yeah and you're like damn dude and then they're all just there what what boggles my mind too is that they're just there by the plant they're like yeah this is fucked up and i'm like dude you guys are dying right now well yeah when you see stellan skarsgård so there's a lot of spoiler alerts in this conversation when you see stellan skarsgård when he gets the news that he's only going to live for maybe five more years and you see him take that in and process it you're like yeah it's such good acting and then a couple

scenes later he basically tells everybody they're helping that yeah we're all going to die but and this is like the good part of russia is like loyalty to things bigger than yourself yeah but we have to do this i was like whoa yeah all those minor dudes are are the best the minors they drop dong i don't want to spoil it they drop dong respect yeah that minor is such a real guy like you're like he's a minor like he exists yeah when the camera stops he goes back to mining i love how every time he's like nope you're fucking me over somehow just tell me how it is don't lie okay great so that's how it really is like if you just tell him how it really is he's like all right i'll help you but if you try to lie to me no yeah don't try to lie at least give

me the respect of truth yeah i love that he's a beast yeah legend dude because they're uh so stokers for they're like building a tunnel, basically. And like, it's so hot, but they can't use fans because then the fans will blow more radiation in their face, essentially. So they're all dropping dong because it's so hot in the mine, in the tunnel. And I was watching that. And the only thing I could think the whole time is like, Joe should have been cast in this.

Yeah. Dude. He would have been great because the scientists are like to the miners are like they're like dude like you're exposed you're more exposed and he's like would the clothes really have done anything anyways and i bet if joe had been in there and like you'd seen joe's dong they'd be like you know what stay naked they naked. They all just salute. Yeah. Dude, just right away. Yeah. The whole crew could just been sent home. You get Joe a nice hard-on on whatever gets him hard, like neatly folded laundry and nice freaking Myers hand soap in bulk. You get him.

And so you get him a nice chub, and then his dong becomes the drill. It will literally drill through graphite, titanium, whatever it is, dude. Unstoppable. And he does it all with kind of like a begrudging modesty where he's like, fine, I'll use my giant cock to fix the nuclear reactor. Because you're all a bunch of idiots. Exactly.

Goddamn Russia. Oh, you need my cup you need my dong to save east germany okay i get it i'm not gonna wear a jacket okay i'm already hot in there i'm just gonna be naked go away and stop staring joe joe can you start drilling please get hard yeah i'm doing it after i'm done brushing my teeth and I have my oatmeal, I'll get myself hard. Well, thank you. Time is of the essence. We need this tunnel in like two hours. I got it.

Joe, better base element, graphite or boron? Go. Not doing that right now. I don't care. What's either of those things, dumbass? Joe, we need you. We need you to dig this tunnel fine i'll do it yeah and i'm the hero we've needed all along we'd have to tell him not to fart so much because he'd be blowing graphite all over russia too much methane dude you can't mix methane in with the uh just

give me some turkey provolone that'd be the hardest part telling him not to fart i got mad at him. Telling him not to fart. I got mad at him this morning. I'm going to cut this, but I got mad at him this morning. I go, dude, you got to stop farting so much. He's like, what am I supposed to do? He's like, you smoke pot. I was like, I smoke pot outside. Okay. It is upsetting.

He farts constantly. Really? And he burps constantly. I'm like, he's like, what do you want me to do? Get cancer? It's funny. But I'm like, dude, like, I love you, but like, I have to say something. Like, please stop. He's like, what do you want me to do? cancer it's funny but i'm like dude like i love you but like i have to say something like please

stop he's like what do you want me to do i'm like i've never lived with anybody who farts as much as you do and makes as much noise yeah no what's he eating what's he eating he's a solid diet it's nothing crazy i'll be in there for like one two hours and i'll it's very upsetting it's yeah and not that i'm not like that grossed out i I'm just like, dude, why are you making so much noise? And he chews so, I swear it's like an act of defiance somehow. He's like, I'm looking at him. I'm like, are you like doing this at me? Yeah.

But he's, dude, there's some loud people. Johnson, our buddy, loud liver. The guy just lives loudly. Yeah, he's just smashing shit. Yeah. Everything like is hot, like no grace on anything. Like that guy closes a drawer, he's going to wake up someone in China. It's unreal. Yeah. He's just like kapow yeah you come outside you're like are you like redoing the tiles yeah and then he's like no dude i'm just uh making myself a coffee you're like

why the fuck are you fighting it in here yeah exactly dude tornado also dude the shot in chernobyl in the first episode when the townsfolk are watching the nuclear reactor explode and then it cuts to that slow-mo kind of like a particulate shot and you just, it's so beautiful, but you know that all these people are taking on radiation that's going to later kill them. And like just the dramatic irony in that. And so I was like, this is like perfect movie making.

It was so like haunting. Yeah. It is so like haunting. Yeah. It is very repetitive though. Like as much as I do enjoy the stakes and everything and like it's so like we can't tell anything. Oh, there's another problem and it's going to kill. Like if we don't get the graphite off the roof, like your dad's going to come back and tell you

how you let him down as an athlete. And then your whole family, you're going to get punched in the face and the dick. And then the radiation is going to, you know, and then you'll be humiliated in front of a girl you love. And like, that's your death.

And you're like, all right, dude, I get like, I understand that like that. They keep like reiterating the same kind of beats. Yeah. Cause when you start with like,

like the world is ending stakes, you can't get smaller as it goes on. So every episode is like, guess what? The world's ending in a slightly different way. Yeah yeah but i think that was also probably how it worked was a little bit like whack-a-mole you fix one problem another one pops up and they're just like true just shutting down disaster yeah did they um the i think the hardest one for me was the dogs oh dude yeah the writer said a lot of people couldn't watch

that one yeah lucky for you they didn't take out a golden retriever dude yeah right before you come yeah seriously dude you probably got a freaking straight up chub noble yeah and then freaking just drilled a golden in the dome that'd be like watching a video of riley reed just going at it and then someone shoots her in the head and i'll be like, yeah. You got to cool off that boner in the prick yet river. Nice dude, freaking nice. Dude, the writer of it,

Craig Mazin, he did like the Hangover movies. Really? Yeah. And this is like his first serious thing and my roommate Greg told me he got it because he's buddies with Benioff and Weiss, the guys who did Game of Thrones.

And he told them to reshoot the pilot of Game of Thrones because I guess it was a disaster. And they went back and reshot it. So maybe they're throwing him a bone back for such a big save. And he crushed it with this. It's just ridiculously good. It's crazy when you look at the credits. It'll be written by, what's his name?

Craig Mazin. Written by Craig Mazin. Produced by Craig Mazin. Direct by Craig Mazin. Yeah, beast. yeah yeah beast nuts dude speaking of game of thrones did you guys watch that last watch thing on hbo the behind the scenes it's pretty great there's this extra in there this guy's a legend dude he's this irish dude with a beard and like he ends up getting a bunch of close-ups and like dude it's really really great it's very moving uh um and just like watching the experience that all these people went through and like becoming a family but dude this guy's so charismatic

he he honestly reminds me a lot of johnson he's the irish johnson dude he's like fucking you know like dude he knows everything about game of thrones like read every book like he he's one of the stark army extras so he's so stoked on being a Stark he like loves Kit Harington he gets the whole like every extra he like gets a jacket made for every season and uh I won't spoil but there's like a very sweet scene towards the end with him and dude he's just like total just genuine great guy that's awesome yeah well dude's going from one um like a bureaucratic failure and like just total chaos to a real life one we all reread the oral history that grantland did on the malice at the palace which is when the detroit pistons and the anana pacers uh got into a fight and it exploded into the stands and then pretty soon the anana

pacers were fighting off detroit fans um which looked like it could go all the way to like someone getting killed. And so we reread the story where a lot of the guys who were involved in it talk about what happened. It's fucking crazy. Crazy. And I have one name, and I know my dogs are going to love the name, but dude, Jackson. He's the best.

He's great. He's a movie character. Yeah, dude, he's the best. Like, dude, just him having his back, all of his quotes. Dude, you know about it better than I do. What's his, like, what does he say he's like? He's like, I can't judge what I did in that moment. Like, I mean, I could sit here and talk about the money I lost

or how my career changed because of that, but my friend is alive because I decided, like, but I don't have to worry about my friend being dead because I didn't have his back when he needed me. And you're just like, whoa, dude. Like, this guy is a warrior. Like, he has a warrior's mentality. And I guess, like, Tim Duncan says he's the best teammate he ever had.

So it's not just, like, this moment. I think he was pretty consistent. But then he also got in trouble a lot and was, like, kicked off team. So he's a very complicated but fascinating guy but he's got loyalty and dude tim duncan paintballer dude tim duncan for real yeah he paintball imagine that seven footer out there the great fundamental just freaking drilling you that's like an archer from the tower basically he's a sniper yeah yep we gotta go what about run our test dude so gnarly laying on the scoring table he's just like no

i'm not gonna get into this no but see part of me is like when he laid on the scorer's table it said okay i need to like i need to work because he's been known in the league at that point like he was like kind of a fighter got a lot of technical kind of a hothead yeah total hothead so he's like oh i'm gonna separate myself from the situation i'm gonna lay down on the scorer's table part of me does kind of believe that we're like okay maybe he is but you also have to know like you're making a spectacle totally a spectacle no one lays down on the scorer's table and you're like at that point kind of mocking him like look at me i'm so you're fired up and look how chill yeah like why are you mad i don't give a fuck i'm just over here relaxing which only infuriates the other person

100 it's it's like it looks like a de-escalating move but it's you can see it escalating in a million different ways it's a new tactic it's a lateral move to get to build it up rather than get in phase so but then also like in the very beginning of that article it's like the author i forget his name was like six things didn't go like the certain way if like if if uh ben wallace doesn't foul ron and then if ron doesn't come down and foul him and then if the ref actually calls a technical and if ron doesn't lay down on the table and if the fan doesn't throw the drink but then i'm like no the fan fucked up big time here you can't throw a drink dude you can't like yeah you're a spectator what are you thinking i think

the fans are the least um empathetic characters in the story oh yeah and you almost like kind of like that they get their comeuppance because you so often hear like regular people being like dude i could fucking athlete up or bro like like you know in their heads they think they're like tough there's like that onion thing where it's like man discovers he's four thousand percent worse in fight than he thought he was yeah and then so like jermaine o'neill ron artest and steven jackson and jamal tinsley were basically like no we're like a different thing than you guys. Yes.

I love that how like so many of the accounts are like, I tried to stop like Jermaine O'Neal, but he carved through me like butter. One guy's like, I moved up and like he literally just put me out of the way with his left hand. And now I need stitches in my vertebrae and I can't move. Yeah, one guy fractured five vertebrae just trying to stop Ron Artest. And like you look at it on a camera and it looks like nothing. Ron Artest isn't fighting him. Yeah. He's not trying to hurt the guy.

Correct. It's like, dude, these are fucking unreal athletes, dude. Like the top 1% of 1% of human beings. And dude, that punch that Jermaine throws that he slips. Oh my God. And you know what's funny about that? Jermaine O'Neal, when he recounts it, like is sort of like, yeah, I kind of wish I didn't slip.

That's how I kind of read it. Where he's like, I i was really mad at this guy i wanted to like fucking smoke him yeah it looked like it and i mean dude that one fan green or whatever his name was i forget his first name was the guy who actually threw the beer yeah started attacking ron artest from the back at one point on video and ron went up to the one fan he's like did you throw it like it wasn't like he was like just gonna hit every fan and in the arena he's like looking to put to the one fan and he's like, did you throw it? Like it wasn't like he was like just going to hit every fan in the arena. He's like looking to punish one dude. And look, it's easy to, you know, be Monday morning quarterbacks or, you know, judge real-time decisions from the armchair.

But, you know, anybody in like, you know, violence isn't the issue. You know, you can't solve everything. But like I think Peter Jackson or not. What's his name? What's Jackson's first name? Steven Jackson. Steven Jackson. Peter Jackson, great know, you can't solve everything, but like, I think Peter Jackson, or not, what's his name, what's Jackson's first name? Steven Jackson. Steven Jackson, Peter Jackson, great director, Lord of the Rings.

Yeah, I was curious what he had to say. Yeah, very tight. Yeah, I was like, this should be good. He's like, I would have shot it like this, and would have moved in, and really, it would have changed the lighting. The dragon is really our fear. Yeah, yeah.

You know, Ron, as Meta World Peace, would be wearing all white, of course, again, off the white, whereas in his past, he's great. He's going through a transformation. Correct, yeah. But dude, he's like, he's like, look you can't be violent but like i don't care what dude you are if you get a drink thrown at you it's tough not to retaliate like yeah and it's like yeah of course dude when they're leaving and the just beers just start flying in oh yeah so gnarly

yeah and someone hooked a chair yeah someone hooked a chair. Yeah, someone hooked a chair. But then the fan quotes are funny, too, where, like, the guy who hooked the chair is like, I'm a father of six. I got caught up in something I shouldn't have got caught up in. I try to be a good person. You're just like, oof. Yeah. That's definitely the low moment of his life.

Totally. Totally. I remember, like, wasn't there a story one time where you were, like, parking your car, JT, and, like, some guy, like, flipped out on you? It's like road rage, dude. Like, people get road rage, and they just, because you were parking your car, JT, and some guy flipped out on you? It's like road rage, dude. People get road rage because you're in your car, you're in your one zone, you forget about the rest of your life. I mean, dude, I'm guilty of it.

I say the worst things. I'm like, mother of her. I can't believe it if I get cut off. And it's like, dude, I just need to relax. Yeah, imagine 20,000 people in one car all having road rage. Yeah, that's what like inebriated dude stephen jackson's quote tour is like i knew we had to get out of there soon because once the people from the cheap seats got down to down to us that was gonna be trouble they're the felons

they don't get but even to have that even to have that awareness stephen jackson to just look up and be like all right i gotta get out of here before the guys from that section get down here so gold and uh sorry but he's like that's like their feeling too like obviously the vast vast majority of the arena were shocked and appalled and like worried you know and like trying to probably get out of there um but it only takes a few outliers but they were saying like in that moment you're caught up in the heat of the moment you're like i don't know how many fans are gonna start trying to fight us like what am i gonna have to do it's like thousands of people against me you know it's crazy i uh what was i gonna say how dude also it's funny just like how hard ron artest must have grown up because the way he perceives the events afterwards are like the

funniest part of the article where they get back into the locker room and he's like hey man thanks for having my back and he's like super calm about everything and then he just turns to one of the guys he's like hey you think we're gonna get in trouble for this yes yes he's like you think i'm gonna get suspended you think that there might be repercussions and what happened to them he got suspended for the rest of the season which is the longest non-drug suspension and um they're like 10 million dollars in fines something like that yeah and And then Ron Artest comes back to the team. And this is one of the most interesting parts of the story. All these Pacers felt like they stood up for Ron and they had his back.

And they thought it would make them closer as a family. But then when Ron Artest comes back from the full season suspension, he asked for a trade. And they were like one of the most talented teams in the league. So they thought they could, like, you know, they had championship aspirations. And so Jermaine O'Neal's like so deeply wounded that ron would bail after that and then here's here's then i came into my lakers baby getting some ships with kobe and then met a world peace jackson's quote is ron made a selfish decision by going into the

stands we all made selfish decisions but at the same time we were protecting each other it's kind of hard to see if that's right or wrong yep whoa he's like a movie character all right dudes what were our other topics oh dude everest everest you guys are jacked on everest everest dude people are dying at a very fast rate because i want to climb a mountain someday so this was interesting this was pertinent yeah dude yeah and dude the thing that there's that photo that everyone's seen, which is basically like a line at Disneyland. It looks like everyone's trying to get on the Matterhorn, except they're in the death zone of Everest,

which is 26,000 feet. When you're there, you're slowly dying. Energy drains. Your mind gets disassociated. So there's a line in the death zone so like even if you have oxygen you're slowly dying as you're standing there and you're just like waiting you're like can i just touch the top before i uh it's only a matter of time yeah yeah what's the mindset when you're there you're like all right guys let's hurry like because i'm

if i'm in line anywhere i freak out i'm terrible at lines yeah so if i'm in line at everest and i know my life's on the line yeah let's go yeah dude like what you have to stand there and take that photo like let's go you got there even worse dude there's people that are there because they give out these permits now they're kind of saying they're somewhat unregulated the nepalese government or whatever yeah um issues like it's kind of no set number and so there's a lot that are out there so you get climbers who are inexperienced in this line from all over that you probably can't communicate with in the death zone on everest oh yeah different languages yeah everyone's wearing masks you can't really make eye contact and it's like

the communication's so like it's a recipe for disaster dude like just like you're saying you're in line anywhere you're in line at chipotle watching someone who's like never been to a chipotle you're like dude you you choose a tortilla or a bowl then it's your rice and then meat like it's very easy yeah but if you don't know how to do that like you've never been like it's gonna slow everything down and ruin everyone yeah and it'll never get killed and it's like a ridge too because this is like to the top and everyone's like standing on this like tight ridge and stuff and you're like yeah you never really that's one thing about it is like um uh you think when you climb everest it's kind of sort of like you're with your squad

and like that's all you see but it's like it looks more like kind of like it's like overcrowded you're like are you gonna go to everest at that time you know it's like six flags yeah you're not really taking in the environment you're like at a mall yeah yeah you're like how much these vendors get these vendors out of here yeah it's counterintuitive yeah there's kiosks set up and they're selling cell phone cases at everest now yeah it's like i don't want to hook up i don't want to get t-mobile service like a new plan while i'm here i'm trying to like climb this mountain yeah and i'm look i'm not trying to harsh anyone's stoke but it's like that's kind of a little bit like how coachella is to a degree where it's like okay you want to want to go there, you want it to be Woodstock, but they have a Ruth Chris Carvery there and cell phone stations.

And it's so commercialized. Beers are 15 bucks. But then again, it is fun. You're at a concert. You're with your crew. You're hanging out. You're getting your stoke. Thank you for putting that addendum on it, dude.

Of course, dude. But then people are trying to get their stoke on everest and it's going to deplete some of maybe the truest um that are up there like doing the climbing you know have you seen the photos of a base camp too or it's just like trashed yeah you know it looks like you know it looks like post coachella yeah it's just like there's no no one's cleaning it up so it's just trash everywhere it's littered and And yeah. That's so disturbing. I went to a football game at Notre Dame

and everyone went into the game and I stuck around in the parking lot for a little bit and it looked like apocalyptic. Like there was just trash and shit everywhere. Yeah. It's almost like if you're a mountain climber these days, you're like, yeah, I'm gonna go climb Everest. You're climbing Everest?

It's so basic. Right. It's what everyone's doing. It's base camp it's basic camp yeah i'm doing k2 that's what i was thinking too isn't there other mountains there's i do i want to climb the matterhorn they say k2 i've been there yeah everest is the hardest climb and stuff but don't they say or like k2 is a more difficult treacherous climb everest is just harder because it's higher i know that from vertical limit yeah they're like if you climb k2 like you know what you're doing i like movies like vertical limit where they find like a specific new issue that would happen there and they make like the whole movie about it like in that movie it's all about like the shots that you need to keep like the hemoglobin oh yeah i'm like bubbling up your

insides and like it's like the biggest thing in the movie like that's the thing that you need to keep the hemoglobin up from bubbling up your insides. It's the biggest thing in the movie. That's the thing that has to happen. Are they remaking Cliffhanger? Maybe. Did you hear that? I think I might have read that somewhere. I think a female lead is going to be a great movie. Stallone.

It's hard to know who the female equivalent of Sly Stallone is. For some reason, I'm picturing Elisa Vikander. She'd be good. Tomb Raider. Yeah. Are you just picturing elisa vikander she's a good writer yeah yeah oh dude are you just picturing her a lot maybe sometimes you know i mean look i've got a gf but i respect her work as an artist you know what i mean yeah she does a good job even though tomb raider was a little bit subpar yeah yeah yeah the script it was the script it was not her performance

it was the script in the in the billboard though you're like whoa yeah yeah um should we get to some questions guys yeah what about the dump that's what i'm gonna get to yeah so this is like sort of parallel to a question our dear friend robbie robbie coming ultimate legend uh sent this to us and it was a story from reddit i'm gonna read it right now it's a little bit long stoker so bear with me i've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now i I live alone and he frequently spends the night in my apartment. We have a healthy, trusting relationship. However, I'm aware that his previous girlfriend cheated on him. Prior to this week, he has never expressed any lack of trust in me. My apartment is fairly old, so it takes a while for the water to heat up. Sometimes when I'm

waiting for the shower to get warm, I take a dump. I don't want to flush the toilet and screw up the water temperature, so I'll take a dump, shower, and then flush the toilet. A few days ago, I spent longer than usual washing my hair and just completely forgot to flush when I left the shower. I'm laughing because I know the end. I know I am a wild animal who deserves to live in a barn.

Let's move on. Anyway, my boyfriend came over last night. He went to the bathroom, stayed in there for a few minutes without making any sound, and then emerged with a completely Let's move on. What guy shit in your toilet? By now I was completely bewildered. I told him again that I had just forgotten to flush. He replied that I was a liar and that no girl could take a dump that big. He was completely serious. This guy's unreal. My boyfriend walked out without another word and ignored my calls for the rest of the night. He storms out.

The next day, he agreed to meet me for lunch. A light lunch. He apologized for leaving in such a rush, but said he couldn't believe me when I said it was my own shit. He said he was willing to give me a second chance if I could prove it. I don't really understand what he was getting at. So he elaborated that he wanted me to take a dump in front of him to prove that my shit actually looked like that. That was yesterday.

I have absolutely no idea what to do. I guess we could compromise and I could take a dump in the toilet, then call him in to see it. But this is just too weird and a bizarre and gross. I seriously love this man, but I'm honestly at a complete loss. He's made it clear that this is a deal breaker for him. The title of it was my boyfriend will dump me if I don't take a dump how on earth do i handle this wow wow oh my gosh i think she sounds like an incredible lady yeah she does she's like she's she's resourceful yeah she's empathizing with this guy who's got major trust issues she lays big

heaters yeah dude look that's totally fine do you lay a big heater that's healthy dude yeah that's good what what would you say to this guy i would say dude you gotta really i mean look she she does preface it by saying he was cheat on so maybe that's why he's a little bit maybe that's why she's handling this a little bit you know with some gloves you know right um i like to imagine him walking in the bathroom and just looking right away yeah that's a dude it only takes him a second he looks at me just goes who is he dude so certain oh yeah no there's no way that came out of you i've never seen like a deuce from any of the women in my family.

No, that's true too. Just because you grew up with women doesn't mean you're kind of. You have? Oh, yeah. How big? Oh, yeah. Were they huge? Huge.

Are you being serious? Dead serious. No joke. Dead serious. We had a downstairs bathroom. Oh, the super state of the art one? State of the art Japanese toilet that my dad got probably now in hindsight for a reason.

The ladies. And love them to death. Great, strong women, dude. Great women, dude. You know, hard workers, dude. Everyone in your family's tall, too. Yeah. No, no, no. My brothers are short. Right, right. But my sister, tall, strong.

Lays it down. I mean, i've got four siblings dude we would all be in tight quarters in the hotel room you did not it might as well have been a lobby might as well been the lobby oh yeah it was a rule dude like you know we were not like it was like you get your shower in first dude and dude. Like, you know, we were not like, it was like, you get your shower in first, dude, and then don't do, you like, go to the lobby. Like, you had to go to the lobby in my family.

Right, you guys were mindful of one another. Yeah, it was very, it was nice. It was communicative. But all I'm saying is, in my life experience, I've always known

what everyone's capable of regardless of gender, size, race, anything. Religion. Yep. They release mud shits everyone shits all it comes down to is what did you just put in your body because it's got to come out you're a shitter i'm a shitter yeah i don't like it i'm not one of these people like it's a big thing now and like

comedy people take pictures of themselves taking dumps yeah no i'm not into it you know what i mean no remember remember like our buddy for all his baseball team they were like obsessed with that dude like poop humor i'm like this is so dumb yeah i hate that i like the term mud shark yeah that's good i just think this dude um yeah and what dude is gonna go over there bone her and just leave a floater you know right i know if i'm at my lady's place and I have to, you know, lay a heater, I'm very cautious. Yeah. And I flush like 10 times. You're sweet. Yeah.

You're a good guy. Yeah. So maybe, yeah, maybe he's like some brute just came in and just dropped a bomb. Yeah. What Viking came over here? Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of wrong that he thinks it was, that it was infidelity too.

Yeah. Like he should have seen this shit in there and be like, honey, someone broke in the house. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Someone robbed us and he he must have been six five and full of muscles we gotta find this guy dude if it was an upper decker then i'd be suspicious honey did you have an electrician come over here and finally fix that you know because the heating's bad in this apartment like finally fix the heater or whatever yeah you took a dump honey like you know come from a place of love first you know rather than doubt dude should she

let him watch her dues no no god no no she doesn't have to it's a bad precedent correct you he has to trust her dude that's how it comes down can you imagine him in the bathroom just like a hilarious scenario how do you explain that to your friends and family too why did you break up with kelly um there was a huge dump in the toilet and I knew it was too big to be hers. So I know she's fucking another guy. Your parents would be like, Carl,

I don't know if that's the case. I don't know if you know this, but your mom, your mom takes dumps too. And he's like, what? Yeah. It's like this guy.

No, she doesn't. He's like, yeah, your mom takes dumps. And he's like, dad, she's playing you.

Mom's cheating on you too. Dad, you've seen dumps in there? Dad, you've seen dumps and they're too big? They're too big to be moms? I never trusted the handyman who comes here. All right, my brother had a really funny story that he sent me in relation to this where it's our mutual friend Mary Kate

had a friend in college who when studying abroad hooked up with this hot foreigner dude like the first week she was there he left for work in the morning and they had a romantic kiss goodbye she then proceeded to drop a deuce and the toilet wouldn't flush she scooped it out and put it in a plastic bag she left a note on the counter with a cute message and forgot the bag of shit right next to him she saw him a half dozen times before she finished her semester so he still he was still they were okay i think she just saw him oh they didn't like i think the relationship was over at that point unfortunately she put a lot of work in there but he saw the cute message and the dump right next to it that's a a mix message. Yeah, I think he was like, what does she mean?

Had a great time last night. Here you go. I mean, look, you know, a nice deuce can be satisfying. Maybe she was saying I was very satisfied with our lovemaking that night. I had a great time.

Here's a token of my appreciation. Like, is this an American thing? Yeah, where are you from again? Yeah. That sushi we went out for was incredible. Let me prove it to you. Thanks for dinner last night. It went down smooth. All right. We got some more questions. What's up, fellas? I could use some life advice on my current situation. I've been kicking it with the same squad since junior high. We're all mid-late

20s now. And in the last few years, they have all gotten married except for me. Now they're starting to have kids, and we never hang anymore. I'm super happy for them, and while seeing them grow gets me stoked, I feel like I've been left behind. I've never been the type that found my purpose in a relationship, but now I'm starting to feel myself getting bummed out about being single. With fewer and fewer single friends, the exposure to single gals had greatly declined. What advice do you dudes have for putting myself out there in my current circumstances? Thanks. Dude, I was thinking about this.

First off, there's an abundance of single ladies out there. So don't get into that mindset of like there's none left because they're everywhere. I heard this technique from the now disgraced Tony Robbins where he's like, you know, if you're looking for someone or you're looking for a mate, one thing you can do is you can take a piece of paper, write down all the ideal characteristics of your perfect lady and sort of like shift your mind so that you can see that more easily if that makes sense so like when she appears you're like oh this is she has the qualities i'm looking for i should pursue you know what i mean yeah dude i would remain optimistic i mean uh just because they're doing it doesn't mean they're all right either like some of them are marrying the right person some of them might get divorced so it's a. Like some of them are marrying the right person and some of them might get divorced. So it's a long road.

You're just waiting for the right person. So just stay optimistic, you know, live a good life and it's going to happen. Yeah. In the meantime, go out and drill it at karaoke, dude. Yeah. Drill it. Get yourself one song, go to karaoke

and put your fricking skill on display, dude, and have some fun. Here's what you do, dude. You go to karaoke. There's frickin skill on display dude and have some fun here's what you do to you go to karaoke there's a girl sitting at the bar you see her you start up a nice conversation you're a gentleman maybe you treat her to a drink treat yourself as well to a nice dank IPA before you've done that about 20 minutes earlier you've tipped the guy running the thing you've given him your song so in the middle of you having this nice, charming conversation, your name gets called, and you go, oh, oh, my God, I forgot.

I'll be right back. Then you kill it at karaoke. Boom, dude. That's a really good plan. Boom. What are some sample songs? I mean, dude, for me, my range is not very great. I mean, I can probably really drill, like, the 90s.

Like, I like to go with something that might not you know when the affection of a woman but it's um when lightning crashes in old mother and I live oh that feeling coming back again like a rolling thunder chasing the wheel yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Fire song, dude Fire performance Thank you, dude, thank you I do Genuine Pony Ride it

My pony Roni Pony Yeah, great song I was thinking Sugar Ray Oh, dude, yeah Cause I just wanna fly And, dude, here's the best you're it's not even about the ladies you just had a nice

night at karaoke dude yeah and that's fired up dude one time this girl invited me to a company party at tom's with her and we had had like a little flirtatious experience before where i brought her some adorals at work just as a friend and she walked me around the office and gave me some free merch and then i went to the company. And she walked me around the office and gave me some free merch. And then I went to the company party and she totally ditches me. Yeah, she's like not hanging out with me. So I pop one of those Adderalls. I got social, dude.

Every time she saw me, I was talking to a different group of people. We hit karaoke afterwards. I busted out Pony by Genuine. Next thing we know, we go to a Vietnamese place that's open late night, have some food. She tells me a secret that she told me she's only told two other people we cuddle in bed nice what happened after that she wanted to go on a trip to europe and uh i wanted to go too but she's like we're going just as friends i was like i can't torture myself like that for 10 days true and so and go to museums on top of that nah yeah damn yeah so it just didn't work i was also i think taking out her

all too much at the time and i think i came across like a psycho that's what our mutual friend greg told me oh i remember that yeah yeah yeah i mean you know you're not psycho i was just being needy i would like call her and like want to talk to her for like an hour and she was like we're not there yet pal yeah just jumping levels right but dude you do kill it at genuine thank you and you can move saw you on the dance floor in cabo just moving dude i saw you out there as well thank you i saw you out there as well oh thank you what up chad and jt i've recently come into a less than optimal situation long story short i received a dui and had to install an iid in my car for anyone who doesn't know it's a breathalyzer you have to blow this

blow into to get your car started. Then every 5-10 minutes it asks me to blow again while driving. To add insult to injury, I have to keep my music down in my car so that I can hear it beep when it asks me to blow again. Which is a bummer because I can't blast Jessica Simpson as loud as I used to. Sorry man. I'm worried about driving

with the squad somewhere and having them see me blow into this. Or even worse, if a fine chica wants to catch a ride somewhere, but I have to blow into this thing first. I need to keep it in my car for the next six months. What's the right mentality when rocking this kind of thing in my ride? How can I keep my stoketank filled throughout this trying time? Thanks, dudes.

Dude, never has there ever been a better incentive to not drink and drive. Just knowing that you'll have one of these iid things and you can't bump jessica simpson like how do you fucking how do you drive and stay stoked exactly that's tough and i would just own it you know when people come in the car and they see you blowing it be like yeah i'm a bad boy i'm naughty i gotta blow in this thing to start the whip yeah i would totally own it just be straightforward with people be like hey i made a mistake it was stupid now i gotta blow into this thing for six months but if you're straight up about it and you stay on the straight and narrow for a good chunk of time

it's a drop in the bucket my dog yeah dude and dude i don't condone lying but maybe you gotta tell people you know you were out for a nice few craft brews, dude. You had yourself a nice little sesson or a nice table beer, and it really took your buzz to the next level and you didn't know. And, you know, sometimes you just, it only takes point whatever over the legal limit, you know. That being said, nowadays, dudes, you know, stokers out there, dude, take an Uber, you know, if you know you're going to go out and be enjoying yourself. There's the Ubes. Get the Ubes, get a Lyft, bird, dude. dude if you can bird somewhere i'm all about that dude yeah and don't don't

ever be embarrassed if you like don't like i i i one time was like a little inebriated driving and i was like too embarrassed to just pull over and call like my gf to like pick me up oh yeah and it's like she didn't give a fuck just just take care of yourself be safe and don't worry about you know don't don't let pride get in the way of that stuff yeah if there's ever any chance of alcohol being consumed default to uber you know i'm like if i'm gonna have like i'm like if i'm gonna have even like plan on having like one beer i'm'm going to Uber. Because you never know what that turns into. And then you get stranded.

True. You know, just, yeah, go to Uber. And dude, you're not the only guy that this has happened to. So I don't think people are going to care as much as you think. Yeah. What up, Chad? He could be just like have a sense of humor about it. Yeah.

Have to blow in this fucking thing. It sucks. Yeah. I fucked up. You're like, damn, that's funny. Have a go to Joe. it. Yeah. Have to blow in this fucking thing. It sucks. Yeah. I fucked up. You're like, damn, that's funny. Have a go to Joe. Okay, man. Can you blow this real quick?

I'm fucked up. Kidding, dude. Then you blow into it. Yeah, dude. That's good. What up, Chad and JT? Love the pod and the quality advice given to Dank Bros. I have my own head scratching situation that I could use your sage wisdom on.

Let me set the stage for you. My wife is out of town for a week. She is not into the servicing of one's own reproductive systems and thus has expectations upon her return home for the rocket being ready for takeoff i've been doing some manly work while she was gone getting super town in the outdoors stuff like weed eating gardening and lumberjacking the other night i was super lonely and dedicated to milk and decided to milk the cow does that mean he jacked off yep okay unknown to me i had poison ivy on my hands from all the extra man labor needless to say i can't stop picking at my dick

i can't seem to scratch the itch that is perpetually in my pants so here's the part where i need your wisdom to help my slong along she is coming she is going to come home with the cockpit ready for a pilot one do i tell my honey bunny that i got into the poison ivy from drilling myself and listen to her nag about my bag? Or do I just say no? Consequently, do condoms protect against poison ivy spreading? I wouldn't know that and I wouldn't bet on that. Lastly, how swollen do I let my balls get before I go to the doc? For me, not very swollen.

Go fast and early. Any advice you can provide will be great for this bitch of a sitch tell strider that i was inspired by pornos 40 year olds making love making nice love i like that um maybe i'll take the lead since you know um i mean dude i think what you you should be and i can't say should but if i get back from a trip, I'm stoked to see my GF. And for many reasons to hang out, catch up, talk, and one of them being intimacy. And if you are having an issue of drilling yourself to the point of where then you don't want to be intimate with your significant other, then you probably got to dial back drilling yourself because, you know, it's a mutual relationship.

Now, I do understand, you know, you can't let anyone pressure you into doing anything. If you don't want to, then obviously you should definitely say no. But it seems like the issue is, the correlation here is between how many times you're spraying the ceiling, or in this case, the canvas that is Mother Nature's sky,

and you coming back from your trip and being intimate with your girlfriend so i think dude you gotta dial it back um on whacking it when you're outdoors and uh you know save some save some for your baby when you get back home you know what i mean dude and um i don't know that's just what i'm feeling dude i think like i mean that's obviously better than the solo go of it right yeah and you gotta wash your hands before you crank the dong you know true you might have tree sap in your hand dude yeah i mean poison i mean yeah i wouldn't uh if you have poison poison ivy on your hog dude i would not risk um getting poison ivy in your ladies yeah her chaplang but he's saying he's gonna craft that as a lie which i'm like you can't lie like that he does have

poison ivy on his dong oh for real yeah oh well then yeah you got to take a time out and get that stuff treated and then you can enjoy yeah just tell her that then when well no he's embarrassed that she's gonna know he got it from masturbating because so he had the poison ivy on his hands i think and then he masturbated and got it on his dog oh i totally misread and got oh well then dude you just got to be honest with her she was wondering why you were being so hard on her oh dude my bad dude my bad yeah i was like i don't even know if he's checking out that much oh dude okay oh dude then my bad bro dude you're freaking you're a legend then dude um yeah dude i think you just gotta i dude, you've been out of town. Your GF's going to know.

I mean, that's totally fine, dude. She's against it, though. I mean, he could say I was peeing. I was holding my dong. Totally. Perfect. Just say you were peeing. A little white lie.

Yeah. And plus, you know, like we were saying with Sansa versus Bran Stark, his mouth still works. Yeah. And then present your face as a C. Always a little. And dude, also like your girlfriend can be against it for herself. But if you're holding up your end of the bargain, you're allowed to jack off. Correct.

I mean, if it gets to a point where it's hindering your sex life, then you have to reconsider. But there's not something inherently wrong with you jacking it once in a while. No, it's healthy and normal. And it sounds like you're doing it to 40- olds in love which is fantastic right yeah that's legit he's not yeah he's got nice vistas you're literally in nature dude i love you dude i'm coming full circle on you dude legend he sounds like a romantic loving dude yeah dude you know he's like he just wants to provide a good time but there's a little thing called poison ivy that's plaguing his dong also if your balls

are are swelling up dude get that checked out maybe get some antibiotics in there get them back to regular stuff benadryl and then drill yourself yeah one time my balls swelled up i went to the doc he's like are you doing anal i'm like i wish and they gave me antibiotics nice what up to the kings of the stoke nation yo my dogs I am a pothead from South Carolina It's so it's still illegal here My mom is extremely against it though We have been through it a lot After I got busted by the coppers at the end of my first semester

Of college I'm mostly quite But I have recently started back Thinking that it would help me to quit Dipping and jacking it Well it's helped me in quitting Nick I have been whacking it a lot more So my question is should I quit the sweet refer or my mom or keep smoking it up? Also, I've been growing out my hair, but it's come into a problem when driving because my

AC is broken. I have to drive with my windows down, but my hair gets in my face. I wear hats, but I was wondering if you have any other tips. P.S. I like with my parents at the time, live with my parents at the time. Dude, I feel really harsh, but just based off the amount of uh spelling errors that could have been cleared up with the once over i think you got to slow down on the bud yep and it sounds like you're looking for your release and sounds like when you're not doing

bud sounds like you're drilling it more and like we said you know a little bud a little bit of drilling yourself can be healthy but you don't want it i mean you you are i mean dude we love you know stoner dudes are fun good legit dudes but you don't want that to be your defining characteristic dude you want to be a dude who does something plus smokes maybe a little bit of herb on the side yeah a charming amount of herb you don't want to be smoking an overwhelming amount so i think you got to um you know take the next step in your, in your life, my dog, and, uh, you know, start doing, focusing on the career as much in it, maybe as unchill as that sounds, but dude, even my simple valet gig is legit, dude, pays the bills, keeps my GF happy,

dude, I can treat her to nice things. So I think you got to go out and, uh, start getting focused. I'm not sure, uh, you're living at home, so you're probably still, you know, somewhat young, I would imagine you're 20. So maybe maybe you hit school maybe you freaking start developing yourself a nice dank little five-year plan my dog and uh as far as the hair goes beanies yeah i fully believe in relaxation but you know you don't want to make it a daily thing a habitual thing you want to sort of devote yourself to something that you can continually make progress on. That's what's going to fix the cravings, I think. If you can find a bigger path to devote your life to instead of figuring out, which path do I go down?

Weed? Just find a... Devote yourself to self-progress. And I love Joe Rogan. A lot of people love Joe Rogangan he's a big pot smoker he didn't start smoking until i think he was like 28 or 30 i think he's 30 yeah so there were a lot of stuff was already in place for him where he could afford to uh maybe be a little bit blitzed every day yeah and if you're producing and being a freaking legend and drilling it i mean then

nobody can like tell you i mean, sometimes that becomes slightly, like Charlie Sheen style is like, I'm an F-18 fighter jet. And yeah, he was producing Mickey Millions. So there's a limit, but you got to be producing and doing some stuff. John Skipper, the guy who was running ESPN, quit his job because over cocaine problems.

But no one had any idea, as far as I can tell, from what people said that he had that issue. But at some point, he was just like, I can't keep juggling these two things. Yeah. And I think Joe Rogan, too, he specifies certain times out of the day to do it. It's not like he wakes and bakes. He gets a lot of shit done. And then he's like, OK, this is the time I have to smoke weed.

Or when he's writing, being creative. Yeah. He specializes it. Yeah. That's why it's like there's there's that one guy at that at bert's that we see like that stoner it's like his whole identity and you're like oh dude yeah i can uh jake weissman had a great joke where he's like i love how some white people's personality is just weed yeah hilarious yeah and i was i was at the

weed store actually a couple days ago and i was like so annoyed with just everyone in there i know i hit my own kind but it was like they like the indecision and the slowness of movement and then like the second guessing like this lady was at the register and she's like wait no actually can i get like the dante's wraps instead of like the sweet leaves and the guy was like honestly sweet leaves might be better and she was, do you really mean that? And then he was like, yeah, I kind of do.

Hey Mike, what do you think? Mike was like, what's up? And they were like, sweetly for Dante's. And I was like, dudes,

I cannot be a passive observer. Now imagine you're on Everest. Yeah. Imagine you're on Everest. And that's what it is. That's what's on the death zone. We're in the death zone here. And you're sort of half-assing this left turn yeah there's a weed store at the top of everest for my o2 tank do i want cherry flavor or do i want blueberry dude

what you're gonna want is like a super chill indica on your way down so you can just like kind of really enjoy the scenery and not worry too much about your lungs exploding and this is gonna take care of you super nice let me get the train wreck, dude, this guy could go work in the weed industry. It's a booming industry, dude. Yeah. I mean, if it means that much to you, move too. Get the hell out of Dodge. You know, get out of your parents' house and come to California, bro.

Yeah. Where we kick it. All right. What's up, bros? My name's Lloyd. Just recently found the pod. Not really questioned, but was just hoping you could give a shout out to my best bro, Alex.

Best friend since first of secondary school. England's high school. Anyway, got married last week to my fire girl, and he was my best man. He took me to Amsterdam for my stag and just killed it. He's just the best bro that everyone needs in their crew and just wanted him to get some recognition for it. Anyway, keep up the good work.

Fuck Puzio. You guys are legends. Nice. Yeah, legends, dude. Fired up. They call bachelor parties stags yeah I like that

learn something new every day yeah and they run what do you say Game of Thrones what were you going to go Game of Thrones

Baratheons no I guess it makes sense because you go you go to a dance stag I used to say that oh

alright we got these ones. I didn't get the Game of Thrones reference. By the way, can I just say on the Grantland article I tried reading it. I'm like, I don't know what's going on here. In the Malice at the Palace? I watched the fight and I'm like, I don't know these names. I don't know what the fuck's

going on here. So during your whole conversation, I'm like, Jackson? Yeah. Cool, dude dude i don't know who the fuck jackson is like i knew ron artest met a world peace and i knew that he threw the beer but you guys were like having this heated debate but not heated like a good debate and i'm just like i'm trying to keep up here right it's like listening to people talk about game of thrones when you haven't seen yeah you just made that game of thrones reference i'm like i don't know dude what a skill in its own but Game of Thrones reference. I'm like, I don't know, dude.

But a skill in its own. That is a skill in its own. But that's on me for not getting deep into the sports world. No, but you handled it beautifully. That's fine. You find your stoke in extreme sports. You're talking about WorldServe. Dude, I perceived it like you were like,

these guys don't know what they're talking about, so I don't want to participate in this oh maybe i'll true that's what i really meant the power of silence big time dude silence silence is loud you know i've been listening alan watts recently yeah that guy's a beast yeah you guys listen to him yeah greg got me warner got me a little into it yeah he's a beast if you try to be in the now you're already not in the now because you're thinking about the now. I'm like, fuck. Yeah. He's talking about corporations or something. I can't remember because I just started yesterday.

I heard he was a freaking booze hound though. Yeah, dude. I was like on my couch yesterday just listening to Alan Watts taking a nap. I felt so at peace. Dude, I'm listening to a pod on meditation right now and like attentiveness. Yeah. Yeah. It was cool. It's good stuff attentiveness. Yeah, it's cool.

It's good stuff. Yeah. Even if it's hard to pay attention to. Real quick then, let's ask you a sports question. Who do you got in the finals? Tonight's game one of the NBA finals. We've got the Raptors versus the Golden State Warriors. Oh, well, now that the Warriors are in the finals, I'm a Warriors fan.

Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I might even play some tasty action tonight. I'm laying action down. I'm ap tasty action tonight. I'm laying action down. I'm aping you guys. I'm putting action down. Oh, dude. On Klay Thompson getting MVP of the series.

Nice. I like that. But where are we going to lay down action now that we know that? One of our buddies is in Vegas right now. Is he? Oh, okay. Who's there? Ferraro.

Oh, he is? Yeah. But Joe has a website, too, that you can use. But baby, let's get the live action. But it's better when it's in Vegas. So he's supposed to text me. Yeah, I'm very psyched on that. And I made a prediction a couple weeks ago that I thought the Warriors would win the NBA title without Kevin Durant.

Dude, is it looking good? I love that narrative. Is he still out? He's still out. I'm going to try and watch these games. Is there one tonight? Yeah, we're going to Joe P's house. Yeah, we're going to watch Joe P's at 6. The crew's getting together, dude. It's fired up. what's up nice nice nice all right two more questions in my squad there are nine bros and we're super tight and it's well known around the school but one of our bros who we all love to death lies about everything and we all know it and it's putting a rift in our squad this is killing all of our zen vibes because we never know if this bro is telling the truth

so we can't even hype him up when he talks about pulling a bird because there's a good chance he's lying none of us want to approach him because we don't want to hurt him what do we do tough love gotta let him know i'm kind of like i just had this thought because i usually be like that but i'm like maybe just like be like oh that's cool dude and but but let him feel the shame inside right you know just be like oh wow nice yeah yeah cool dude you fucking yeah you're a beast dude beast like yeah keep giving him credit for things that you know are lies and that's just gonna tack on the guilt and tell everyone at school like he hooked up with lindsey last night i could backfire yeah dude yeah i don't know for a million his reputation could manifest that as his actual reality where other people

like man that guy is the shit and then you're like no he's not there are no facts only intuition yeah dude beautifully beautifully dropped dude just laying down a philosophy fucking clothes perception is reality gordon gecko wall street i don't know fired you got a freaking dart in your neck scott sean william scott old school nice yeah dude i think also and this is like a very dramatic interpretation of it but like there's some people who are lying and if they get called out they can admit that they're lying and there's some people who are lying and if they get called out they can admit that they're lying and there's some people who are fundamentally miswired and they'll be like they actually think their lies are true i don't know what percentage like what piece of the pie of that is but we had a friend like that and he would tell stories that were so

outlandish he once said that he went to a rival school's water polo game too many of their players got hurt or kicked out so they called him off the stands to come play he had never played water polo and he said he scored three goals wow but i had a friend who went to his house for dinner and they said that his dad nodded along with the story interesting wow that guy lied a lot our friend was kim jong-un seriously maybe he and his dad had like a deal. Dad's like, dude, no matter how much you suck, your reputation is going to be bomb.

Here's how you do it. Or the dad was like, hey, so my buddies are coming over and I said I shot a 65 at Pelican Hill the other day. So you just say yes and then I'll tell all your friends that you crushed it the other night. Yeah. Great call. And then they're like, all right, good deal.

I love you so much, dad. But he got called out by friends and they said his brain would just break like he would just be like i don't even know what you're talking about like he couldn't could never look at it yeah that's like my buddy carter who i'm gonna bring up a third time he fucking ate orange chicken every he ate all our orange chicken and we're like dude you ate the orange chicken he's like no i didn't no i didn't i'm like dude that orange chicken is digesting in your body right now. And you're going to admit his brain exploded. Dude, I've always thought if it's not like a capital crime, admit to being wrong fast. It gets you out of trouble way quicker.

Legends. Dude, I'm going to see Romeo and Juliet, the Leonardo DiCaprio one, rooftop movie. Really? Oh, dude, I saw that at a park viewing. You did? Yeah, with Babona. Oh, nice. We had a six-pack of beer, and we just watched the Romeo and Juliet.

Yeah, so fun. Great movie. Yeah. The soundtrack, the visuals. Oh, dude. Bringing the lady. Nice. That's going to be a great call.

Oh, you guys are going to have such a nice time. It's romance. Beautiful. Beautiful. Great idea. Last question. Yo, Chad and JT, so lately at the Bash Palace, I've been throwing up mega weight. I'm talking complete crush in my chest, hair rise in my triceps like it's been

Lawton all over again. Dude, nice reference to anxiety, the song. Shredding shoulders like my dad's Amex, launching my legs into outer space, and of course, baptizing the buys for our savior. Only problem is that I haven't seen an uptake in the amount of back puss I've been getting. for our savior. Only problem is that I haven't seen an uptake in the amount of back puss I've been getting.

Always, though, direct correlation between getting huge and getting back puss, but I don't know what I'm missing. Please help. Yeah, I'd watch a lot of Matthew McConaughey romantic comedies and just get more of a romantic mindset. Correct. Maybe not Matthew McConaughey, but just romantic comedies.

Yeah, and you can't look at something like oh i'm doing my body i i deserve to go get get laid now it's like no no no no dude you got to be we always say like you know jt talks about the unicorn and saying the picnic and part in that part of that is being a good dude and you know wanting to you know give back and have a love making experience rather than going out and just getting yours. Now, when you're in the gym, you want to go and get yours. You know what I'm saying? Put up the weight.

Get jacked. Recruit fivers. But when it comes to, you know, the love life, you want to be giving and a good listener and legit. So I think that's part of the next step. I can see him emerging from the gym just,, just flexing, just like, all right. Yeah. Who's trying to fuck me now? Yeah.

Someone want to fuck? Sometimes it helps verbalizing things. It's an absurd thought to be like, I just put up 250 on bench. I repped eight reps, blah, blah, blah. If you read those stats, and then it should equal a nice steak dinner plus a makeout sesh, and then this. It's like that's not how things are equated. And that's sort of how you're equating things.

But it's like if I do leg press times eight, it means that I meet this girl, and on the third date, then we enjoy. And it's like, no, that's not how it is. No. And also it's like these things take time. Like you're not always going to get – and really it's like most of the time, you're not going to like – the girl's not going to have sex with you on the first date. Like you have to like – like she's figuring out if she even like wants to spend more time with you on the first date.

Then the second date, you're like seeing if there's like chemistry. Then the third date, you're like building like a little bit deeper. And then maybe after that, like you get to a place where you're like, all right, we're into each other. But I think if you're going into these first dates being like, like, like, like Strider said, like, oh, I, you know, crush lap pull downs day. So I'm definitely getting laid tonight. It's, um, it's, it's, it's not going to be about you and the other person. Exactly. And that's what it needs to be.

Maybe on the date. She's like, so how was your day? I put up 300 bench he just slides her a sheet of paper with all the lifts he did and then he just sits there and he's like are you almost done eating i got my place prepped i got the sheets washed i have douglas lube i'm jacked she's like that that sounds really nice and thank you for listing all those things but i have worked super early in the morning and I'm trying to go to yoga class. So even though I'm super impressed by those squat numbers,

tonight's not good for me. I put up a 450 squat this morning, and I had a fuck ton of creatine. I can feel it. That's awesome. Hey, what's up? I'm his trainer, Mickey. And I usually come on all of his dates with him. I just want to verify he did put up those numbers.

Thanks, Mickey. Yeah, yeah. Dude, tell them about my tricep extensions yesterday. Honestly, his triceps were, he was really getting good depth, great extension, and it's honestly starting to show in his posterior delts as well. Tell her about my rhomboids. I mean, fire, pure fire. Do you come come with so you're on all of his dates yeah this is how like i mean that's kind of how it works right like you go and get jacked and then you get um what do we call it uh back back back puss

back puss sorry but that's what we call it i just want him to verify so that you know do you pay him to be here right now no we're dogs yeah we're planning do you train anyone else the plan um i'm friends with the guy who owns the gym but not really i mean i give people like pointers like i kind of walk around and give other people pointers does he solicited does he pay you at all he pays the gym i work at i work out there free because of his membership we go on each other's dates and um i do uh sell protein powders and sort of a um like it's like works where like if i get a few people to sign up and then other people sign up after that right yeah one of those after we do the dirty deed i could get you a discount

you could work for us but it'd also be together i told told you, I don't think I'm going to be able to do the deed that's dirty tonight. I did like a 250 lap pull down. True, verified. That's a lot. Wow. That's like the whole stack. But even though I'm really happy for you, I'm super busy tomorrow. You want me, I could do, I brought kettlebells.

You want me to just like lay them down right here? That's cool. Do you have any friends though? See what I mean? All right, and seen. See what I mean? See how seen see what i mean see how soulless it can be you just gotta really get that in check my dude that was fun all right um i'm gonna use the bathroom real quick on the payment plan i'm gonna use the bathroom real quick and

any dogs want to we'll do the last part so jt's draining his beast it's mean strider right now what up uh hey strider just chilling dude jt's draining the lizard makes me think of those freaking lizards that we saw when we're crushing dank breakfast at cabo surf iguanas yeah iguanas just posting up iguanas are legit you know i think that they can just lose their tail they They can just later their tail. Yeah. Like, dude, later. You know it's coming back. Yeah, I love that. I wish we had that ability to be like,

if we had something where someone's trying to like, you know, keep us someplace. They're like, you're staying right here. And you're like, later, dude. Yeah. There's my arm. And then done. That's kind of what's his, is that Deadpool strength?

Is that what he does? He like regenerates? He like can't die? I think so. I think. That'd be a sick power, dude. Same with Wolverine. Can Wolverine regrow a limb?

I think it just like can't even get destroyed. Yeah. I would rather have Wolverine's strength. You'd rather have wolverine yeah deadpool looks kind of miserable although i think they're both miserable true you've been they've been around so long kind of jaded yeah if you could be a mutant what kind of mutant power would you have probably super strength so i could get all sorts of back puss nice no i would get uh maybe speed like being able to run super super fast flying i don't know dude i don't like being

flying dude you know i deal well with altitude you know what i'd get what joe's hog bro that's the most genius thing i've ever heard because that's a that's something that you can truly with great power comes great responsibility and you will be responsible for making your gf so happy and me like just being like dude can i take a look and then i'd see i'd be like that's like the statue of david you know joe but i feel like dude all the dudes we know with big hogs they don't like showing them to their bro that's why i think if i got that power i'd be like you know i'd show it to the world i'd be like who wants to see this beautiful creation me yeah it's like hey are you having a can of beer do you want to see

Yeah. It's like, hey, are you having a can of beer? Do you want to see my can? Yeah. And we're talking Tallboy. JT's back. We stuck on brand and pretty much did solid talking of dong. Oh, man.

Yeah. Very on brand. I look forward to listening back to it. Yeah. Dude, what if, like, our, you know how your phone says, like, you know your phone says like um you know your average screen time yeah what if on the pod we had like a measurement average joe hogg time well that's a great stat meters that they have in chernobyl yeah where they're like oh it's like a 3.9 dong reading and they're like no that's actually only big as your tool can measure yeah it's much bigger than that you guys talked about way more than that yeah and they're like no that's actually only big as your tool can measure it's much bigger than

that you guys talked about way more than that yeah and they go oh that's not that big that's it's it's manageable yeah and they go no no no no no a nuclear expert comes in scale there's not instruments that have even been invented that can calculate the density of the dong talk yeah we need the americans to send us an instrument no we can't ever reach out to the americans they have an instrument no no yeah that's like ever reach out to the Americans. They have an instrument. Yeah, that's like us asking our girlfriends to listen. Yeah, exactly. And they're like, I can't.

It's too much dong. And you're like, you have to do it for us, please. The pod? Yeah, you have to listen for us to fix the dong talk. And they're like, I guess if it's my duty, you have to sit next to them with their brutalized face from the body horror of our lives why are you talking about this again it's the same thing how could you permit the dom talk to go on again and again but it's different this time we're referring to it as a hog whereas in

the beginning we were strictly calling it a lizard do you understand those are semantics yeah it's different did anyone ever hit the abort button on the dong talk it's like you weren't allowed to you're saying the exact same thing every time you don't get it i was making a very succinct point there about the bell end yeah it's not what you talk about it's's how you talk about it. So true. Yeah. All topics are universal. Thank you. All right, Chad, who is your babe of the week?

My babe of the week is Howard Stern for his flow. Whoa, nice. He's been my legend. And I'm like, I want to talk about Howard again because he was so gracious enough to put us on a show. But I'm like, I got to make him babe and I got to call out his amazing flow. The dude has flow. And he's had it throughout his whole career.

He's maintained it. And it's just, you know, the balls on him. You know, he goes on the radio. He speaks his mind. He speaks freely. He tells the truth. He asks the tough questions. You know, he gets into it. And freely he tells the truth he uh asks the tough questions you know he gets into it and on top of that he has amazing hair and i think he really takes care of

it and he's got an excellent look so i just want to give him props for that and also just give him props for being an absolute legend um i love listening to howard i love his voice um you know i love his interviews he just crushes it every time i love his ability to be vulnerable and uh i think uh he's just a titan in the in the industry and he should be there should be a statue made of howard nice maybe they'll build it on joe's dong oh dude yeah fit strider what is your who is your babe of the week dude my baby the week's god be my gf we were down on our dank trip in cabo dude and you know you i uh i didn't even tell you guys it was my b-day one of the days held it against you dude in case you guys tried wussing

out and not want to take some don julio shots and go out but didn't even have to pull that card because you guys were being legends and hanging out and chilling. Dude, we were on the phone with Brooks, and he told us, he goes, hey, what up? Did you guys tell Strider happy birthday? And me and Chad just looked at each other, and we looked back at you because you were in our eyeline, and I was just like, that dirty dog.

That's right. That's right. Had to keep that Trump card for the day. Didn't have to play it, though, because my dogs were legends. But, dude, my GF put a nice little card in my freaking little bathroom kit where I keep my shaver, my toothbrush, you know, floss and all that, contacts. And found a nice little sweet card in there on my B-day. Really raised my stoke, you know, made me feel loved. So, very, very nice.

Got to go. My babe of the week's got to be my GF, dude, for sure. Kidding me. Dude, great babe of the week. Thank you. And happy birthday to the Strides. Thank you, my dogs. Yeah, happy nice. Got to go. My Babe of the Week's got to be my GF, dude, for sure. Kidding me. Dude, great Babe of the Week. Thank you. And happy birthday to the Strides. Thank you, my dogs. Happy birthday.

Thank you. Dude, my Babe of the Week is Swen Nader. So I've been re-watching old basketball games on YouTube. I recommend it to anyone. It's like a little history class. So I was watching the 84 finals, game six, Celtics versus the Lakers. And then this dude comes into the game swen nader i'm like i never heard of this dude 611 guy from the netherlands with a great mustache all kinds of

just like 80s but still looks like he could live in orange county today so i just instantly took a shining towards him and uh i love his name swen nader like one of the most underrated names in sports because you always hear about the guys who have the great names like Popeye Jones or Milton Bradley. I think Swen Nader is in that conversation. Totally. Swen, you're my babe of the week. I feel like he's from north of the wall, dude. Not the Netherlands, dude. I feel like he's in Mance Rayder's army, just cruising down. Right. Dude, he looks like he-

Him and Wen Wen. That's not bad casting. Dude, he looks like he... Him and Wen Wen. That's not bad casting. Oh, yeah. He kind of looks a little bit like Adams from... If he shaved that mustache on Oklahoma. Here's where I looked at him.

This was when I saw him. Oh, he's on the Lakers. Yeah, he was Kareem's backup. He looks like the guy in Narcos. Dude, he's jacked. And he got a lot of run. And dude, you watch those games and you realize basketball really was like... I think it was less star dependent back then like bird and magic kind of disappear

for stretches and it comes down to guys like swen nader or this guy henderson on the celtics or cedric maxwell never heard of him no he was the leading scorer when the celtics won the title in 81 really i've never even heard of the guy no swen nader good look all right chad who is your legend of the week my legend of the week is uh lieutenant michael p murphy um if you if anyone's watching my instagram story on monday i did the murph workout which is a workout designed to honor lieutenant murphy and by the way, I'm still sore. It was one of the toughest workouts I've ever done. It's a mile, and then, okay, so this is all,

ideally it's done with a 20-pound weighted vest. I didn't do a weighted vest for the first mile, my bad. I did a mile, 100 pull-ups with the weighted vest on 200 push-ups 300 body squats and then another mile i did the mile with the weighted vest so i did i did all of it with weighted vest except for that first mile dude phenomenal performance and incredible integrity and being like legit honest about that oh thank you dude yeah yeah no thank you yeah it was uh it took me two hours um dude i was at like the 40th pull-up i was like how the fuck am i i could i was at that point i was like with the 20 pound vest i was like i could only do one or two at a time oh totally take like a minute it took me like 45 minutes to do the pull-ups anyways dude yeah i tried doing 10 in a row no chance yeah dude um i'm still sore like i i yesterday was brutal um but uh yeah i just want to honor lieutenant

michael p murphy because uh he was awarded the medal of honor for his actions in the afghanistan war graduated from penn state with dual degrees in political science and psychology became a navy seal in 2002 and he died while he was surrounded by taliban forces um and this was during operation red wings which was a counter-insurgent mission in the kunar province of afghanistan so three seals and 16 u.s special operations soldiers were killed um it was the largest loss of life since the war on terror began and they're on a mission to kill a top taliban leader ahmad shah and murphy was killed after he left his cover position and went to a clearing away from the mountains he exposed himself to gunfire in order to get a clear signal to contact headquarters for relaying the dire situation and requesting immediate support for

his team he dropped the satellite phone after being shot multiple times but picked the phone back up and finished the call and while being shot he signed off saying thank you um so yeah all three of murphy's men were awarded the navy cross for their part in the battle making theirs the most decorated navy seal team in history so the guy's just a legend i just wanted to honor him especially with memorial day this past week so uh you're a legend dude and um yeah nice and thank you wikipedia for that info strider who is your legend of the week oh dude my legend of the week's gotta be my gf dude because honestly the other day she freaking goes you know what strider i'm in summer mode and i'm like dude that fires me up just

hearing that so just immediately raised my stoke and i'm like i'm gonna match you on that we're gonna go summer mode right now we're gonna freaking enjoy a dank outdoor concerts maybe even zeds cruise with my dogs hit a keg stand gargoyle a keg if i have to on my solo style um and so just freaking fired up to enjoy dank festivities this summer with my gf so yeah she's just a legend for getting me in that dank mindset dude how do you react when your girlfriend says a fire quote like that and you instantly know that it's gonna that it hits you deep like what do you what do you do 100 360 swivel in my desk chair tuck my knees in so I can maybe even turn it into a 540, and just come facing her where she's been, you know, on the couch, enjoying a nice novel.

And then I'll go, do you know how freaking dank that is? Do you know how dank that is that you just got me fired up like that? And she goes, yeah, I'm fired up about it. And then boom, dude. Immediately I'll probably come over we'll cuddle a little bit dude maybe put on some sabrina after that how's that been on the sabrina finished it dang good show dude good show dude scary i was like who's this for i think it literally is for like it's not for high schoolers that's too scary like if i was watching that show

by myself at night with the lights off i don't think i could but you got your lady there for you that's what i'm saying your protector thank you thank you keep me safe that used to be my job it's true it's true i miss you and sabrina you know they can um the witches have power to transport. They can teleport themselves. They'll still be where they are. They can move some freight. Yeah, exactly. But they'll be sitting here, and then I can hologram myself and just post up with you.

So I can literally be posting up with my GF and posting up with you at the same time. Dude. That would be my power. Dude, take it back. That would be my power. Two, to take it back, that would be my power. Two places at once. Double dank. Did you guys talk about what your favorite power would be? Yeah. What did you say?

Joe's hog. Whoa. Legit. See, that's what I'm talking about. That's what you're talking about when the dong talk isn't just dong talk. Yeah, we never talked about special powers. Well, it's about respect. It's like, Joe's got something. Yeah. And he's humble and he wields it responsibly yeah he honestly doesn't wield it enough yeah yeah i'd like to

talk about it i don't know that's coming from me a small dong dude you know my legend of the week is i think it might have already been done by somebody else is christopher mcdonald shooter mcgavin oh, the best. Yes. Such a great villain. The guy just plays it all the way up. Yes. He's so funny. He's so hateable.

And dude, he's probably a really cool guy in real life, but he gets into these movies and he just plays an asshole like nobody's business. Like in House Arrest, he's just a shit husband. You know, from the second you see him, you're like, I know who this piece of shit is. And that guy's bringing all of that to the table and then as shooter mcgavity just is hilarious and like it's hard to be funny yeah he's good and then thelma and louise one of the best movies ever

he's fucking amazing in that as uh gina davis's like dumb abusive husband he's like just always funny always great in quiz show he's the talk show host, the game show host. Good at that. He's just good. The dad in Leave it to Beaver? Yeah, but really it's McGavin. McGavin is the best character. Oh, hi, Grandma.

One of the best, like, just the way he said it. Oh, we're friends. Hey, Grandma. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude, that guy, the red lobster guy. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're friends.

Yeah, we're friends. So good. Jesus, I'm out on the golf course. Oh, yeah. So good. Jesus, I'm out on the golf course. Oh, yeah, so good. Jesus, I'm out on the golf course. What's wrong with you people? Or when he shoots well, too. Oh, yeah.

And dude, when he hits the putt and everyone's cheering and he goes, yes, ah, and like throws the cheer. It's literally one of the best things I've ever seen in my life. Damn you people. Go back to your shanties. Yeah. Oh, dude, we reversed it this week. rose this year is literally one of the best things i've ever seen in my life damn you people go back to your shanties yeah oh dude we reversed it this week i read them in the wrong order we're ending with our beef of the week this week i'm sorry guys that's all right chad what is your beef of the week um my beef of the week this is a long time coming dudes long time coming, dudes. People who hate mayonnaise.

I got two words for you, dudes. Fuck you. Nice. Don't give me that look when I go for mayonnaise, okay? Don't judge me, all right? I don't need to know that you hate mayonnaise, you know? It grosses some people out. Yeah, they're like, oh, mayonnaise, mayonnaise.

I'm like, I'll eat spoonfuls of this okay it's that delicious thank you best foods for making this delicious treat for me to put on my sandwiches my mom throws it in the spaghetti makes it better it combos with marinara I mean aioli is just mayonnaise with other flavors am I right or am I wrong I've never known you to be wrong

thank you now I will tell you this dude Chad is just mayonnaise with other flavors. Am I right or am I wrong? I've never known you to be wrong. Thank you. Fired up. Now, I will tell you this, dude, Chad. I don't want to upset you right now. I don't want beef more. I don't hate mayonnaise, but I don't elect to add it to something. However, if it's in an egg salad,

if it's in a recipe, I will never be like, oh, I can't eat that because there's mayonnaise in there. It's dang. It's very dang. Thanks. But I just was kind of raised on... That's the attitude I'm looking for. I don't eat that because there's mayonnaise in there. It's dang. It's very dang. Thanks. But I just like was kind of raised on, you know.

That's the attitude I'm looking for. I don't need the shame, you know. It's like, are you going to shame me for liking mayonnaise? No, it's your sandwich. Enjoy it. Yeah. Thank you. Strider.

My, is it my beef of the week? Yeah. Oh, dude, my beef of the week, and I may have done one similar to this, but it happened again. My GF is freaking straight up drilling it on craigslist and on like facebook marketplace and other websites where you in ebay where you find dank deals on dank furniture dude and she found a dank new bed frame legit

made best offer the couple's like yeah for sure we love that blah blah blah then they go nah dude can't do it anymore. And it's sketchy. It's not that someone beat the offer. So they're lying like incorrectly, but they're like, oh, we paid like so much more for it a long time ago that now we want to charge you double of what we originally said. And so we're like, of course, no. And we were all stoked on getting this new bed frame. And now it's not going to happen because we can't make that deal because it wasn't the deal. And look,

we don't make deals today based on what you paid yesterday. We make deals today based on what that exact item would be worth new. You know, that's like where we're coming from. It's like work with us, baby. You know what I'm saying? So that's my beef of the week,

dude. Just kind of, you know, Craigslist deals upsetting me and my GF. I don't like to see my GF get upset and lower our stokes. But we're still fired up. It's summer. Dude, you got me jacked on a GF beef now, too.

It's like my GF is trying to get a car right now. And then it's like a little difficult because of her visa. And then so they ran a credit check on her. Her credit's awesome. But then she checked the credit the next day and the credit had dropped. What? Yeah, because the car deal didn't go through, but the car deal didn't go through because of the visa, not because of the credit. Oh my God. And so then we do a little research into credit scores and they arbitrarily go up or down. Like you can get approved for a credit card and your credit score can drop. Even if like my GF, you're super responsible. You make

all your payments, your go-getter, hot little entrepreneur, like they'll, they'll F you over for nothing. That's wrong. That's bad. And then my, my final beef is just with myself.

Cause I was at spin class yesterday and the spin instructor, Sophia said, you are the only person in your way. Dude. And I wanted to be in the second row, but there wasn't a lot of people there. And she said, you coming up?

I said, no. She said, you nervous? I said nervous i said yeah then she just looked at me and i said i'm coming up legit did she say that after you came up about how you're the only enemy yeah it was towards the end of the ride like we were in the last stretch and she's like you said it to you she said it to like five of us but it felt like it was like straight to me yeah she was like you are the only person in your way and i just looked down at my pedals and i went get ready to get some par nice chat who is your fired up what is your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from tropic thunder nice great movie where uh uh robert downey jr has goes, they're like trying to,

so Jack Black is having his withdrawal from heroin. And someone's like, can someone get him some booty sweat? And Robert Downey Jr. goes, yeah, get him chugging on some of Alpa's ass water. They'll get him around as a cure-all. And I just thought it was a hilarious quip that needs to be

commended. For sure. Strider, what is your quote of the week? Alright, so mine is also from a film that I recently watched with my GF. In fact, I would like to say this is such a strong, powerful, and dank film that my GF was reading her book on the couch while I was

watching the film, so very nice. Great that we can do that together too. It doesn't distract her from her reading. It also allows for us to be and cuddle with one another. But this quote is, and I'm going to mess it up a little bit, and maybe you can guess the movie,

but it's going to be kind of tough. And they revisit this quote many times in the film and they say, sometimes it is those that people imagine nothing of that end up doing the unimaginable. Nice. So it's something like that. those that people imagine nothing of that end up doing the unimaginable. Nice. So it's something like that.

Romantic. And I can't believe I'm forgetting it because I revisited it, but the movie is Imitation Game. Nice. Dank movie. Alan Turing, genius. Dude invented computers, dude. How did they repay him?

By chemically castrating him by chemically castrating chemically castrated him so horrific because of uh prejudice and uh you know homophobia that's why that movie is so sick and wrong and this man saved all of us from nazi domination and now watch him be forced to have his dick cut off yeah he literally won he literally saved they estimated they're like 14 million lives he he shortened the war by two years. And he's such a genius that when he cracked the code, they're like, oh, there's a boat that's going to get attacked. We can stop.

And he's like, no, we can't because then they'll know we have the code. He was like so powerful. He was like so. Counting lives. Yeah, and that's just how his brain worked. And that's his whole thing. He's like, he's just the way. And dude, Cumberbatch drills it in that dude he's so good but uh yeah dude alan turing total legend man yeah he's one of those

actors who just brings like elegance to everything yes with those sharp cheekbones and that like high confidence yeah that's literally all that movie is tinker taylor soldier spy that you took me to where everyone fell asleep besides krim abdul-jabbar in the theater was sitting up there just into it for like three hours in the whole movie is just wide shots of cumberbatch just looking like this and just moving his head in like a like a you know 15 wide frame and you're like it looks very good looks like there's important things going on in his head yeah and he's worried about other people who have correct thoughts totally and he looks good he's dressed very short yeah dude my quote of. Correct. Totally. And he looks good. He's dressed very shortly. Dude, my quote of the week is from this author, David Epstein,

who wrote a book I really enjoyed called The Sports Gene, and now he's got a new one called Range. And I want to have him on the podcast, so we're going to reach out to him. But he had this quote on the Bill Simmons podcast. He said, You learn who you are in practice, not in theory. Your insight into yourself is constrained by your roster of previous experiences. You have to try stuff, reflect on it, zig and zag, Legit. That's what it's all about.

I love it. That's it. I got a review of the week. Nice. This comes from, this one's just simple and i like it it's concise oh it's from jermaine para good podcast it's good stuff everybody he gets it yeah perfect is that really from jermaine para wow i didn't know that i haven't seen him in forever yeah but he left a review thank you jermaine Parra? Wow, I didn't know that. I haven't seen him in forever.

Yeah, but he left a review. Thank you, Jermaine. Yeah, guys, we love the reviews, so keep them coming. I ran into Sam Tripoli, past guest, and he was like, I bombed on your podcast. He was like, you didn't like the PC stuff? I'm like, I'm a big pussy. And he's like, and you weren't into the conspiracies. And I was like, I just didn't believe the, he's like, you didn't like the PC stuff. I'm like, I'm a big pussy. And then he's like, he's like, and he's like, he's like,

and you weren't into the conspiracies. And I was like, I just didn't believe some of them. And then he's like, which ones don't you believe? And I was like, like the metals in the forest. Cause he started talking about that, like metal burning or forest fires. And I was like, a lot of the stokers said there's different kinds of metal.

And then he went, different kinds of metal. And he kept going at me. And then we just like laughed for like 10 minutes. He's great. I love that guy. His podcast is very entertaining. Even if I don't, I don't believe most of the conspiracy stuff, but it's just fun to entertain that stuff, I think.

Unless it's like dangerous. I don't believe any of them except that there's direct energy weapons that were used for the Malibu forest. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah. Dudes, I think. But like aliens is fun?

Yeah. Well, dude, New York Times, Washington Post, they're all running articles and I'm very like anti-conspiracy theory, but they all have articles right now about how the Navy has been seeing unidentified flying objects

and then under cataloging it. Maybe because they don't want to speculate national kind of maybe they think we'll all go crazy if there's too much evidence and they don't want to blow the top off before they know for sure crazy but dude yeah do you believe in aliens strider dude i mean i think there's got to be something out there dude i mean i saw that movie fire in the sky as a kid way too early scared me like you know most people were afraid of the boogeyman my biggest fear the reason i pulled the covers over my head aliens dude right so i fear aliens i mean there's a lot of space out there you know there's a theory that you know we're alien we're martians from mars because of proteins that were

hit here so i don't know maybe there's another goldilocks condition where there's people you know not people but other beings living somewhere and i I don't know, you know, I don't know if it changes too much. I mean, like, religion adapted when, you know, the Earth didn't go, when the Earth went around the sun, not everything around the Earth. I mean, there's, you know, who's to say? Right, you can expand the stories to incorporate other stuff in. Yeah.

Yeah, all faiths are elastic if proof gets too far along in a contradictory way. Yeah. Alright, guys. Guys, that'll be in a contradictory way. Yeah. All right, guys. Guys, that'll be it. Episode 73. Legends. Legends.

Stoked. The game at six tonight. Let's do this. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's put some action down. Oh, the tasty action. The action.

Got to. The action for daddy. Emma, thank you. Thank you, Emma. Thank you. Take your pictures down and check it out. Truth or consequence, say it aloud. Use that evidence, race it around. There goes my hero

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