Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 75 - Chris Cote Joins, Surfing, Blink 182

Episode Date: June 19, 2019

What up stokers, in this episode we welcome WSL Commentator, host of the Van Park Series, editor of Encinitas Magazine and host of the Monday M.A.S.S. podcast, Chris Cote! He's a legend. We dive into the surfing culture past and present, his experience as a roadie for Blink 182 and Green Day, his own musical aspirations, and some stories from his party days. Dive on in for some serious froth. Check out Chris at @chriscote on Instagram. Check out Going Deep t shirts at www.chadgoesdeep.com

Oh, what's up Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep in Chad and JT podcast. Welcome to episode 75, three-fourths to a hundred. Um, guys, three-fourths to a hundred um guys this is socal's most popular podcast going deep with chad and jd and i'm here joined by my compadre john thomas what up boom clap stokers and we are also joined by chris cote the man escaped escaped the man i didn't know i was supposed to be escaped but i escaped you're You're married with kids, right? I was married. I still have kids. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. How dare you? No, I was married, but now I'm happily girlfriended. What is it called when you just have a girlfriend? Is there a thing for that? In a relationship. There's engaged. Partnered up.

Married. Partnered up. I just made that up. Yeah. Cohabitating? I guess what I was getting to, and it's probably a bit early to probe this deep, but do you manscape? Oh, yeah. Oh oh you do sweet all right i go i mean if you want to go real deep and around the back oh you do the back too well there's different levels right

different lengths i guess you would say yeah up top you know chest is pretty that's uh what a one no guard no guard well yeah then you start going down you start adding guards because You know, chest is pretty, that's a one. No guard, if you will. Then you start going down, you start adding guards because it's a more sensitive area. It gets more unruly, too. So the more sensitive the area, I would say the more guards added. So by the time we're around the cul-de-sac, you know, things are probably at two. Okay. So managed and then scaped as you go back up.

Well, with manscaped, you don't have to worry about those nicks and cuts. I got to get in your guys' program. With the Lawnmower 2.0, I've been going no guard everywhere. No guard everywhere. He shaves it three times a day. He just loves the machinery. Yeah, I'm just so in love with the trimmer. Maybe after this, like after we take care of this,

business will go into pleasure, and you guys, I mean, is that? He offered to do mine, too, just for, like, love of the game, and I was like. I text him every morning at, like, 6. I wake up at, like, 6, and I'm like, JT, like, when are you going to give me that grumble, dude? I wake up at, like, 1030. I'm like, damn, what a generous dude. And I don't, I mean, looks can be deceiving, but I would say you're a you're hairy hairy man yeah i'm a hairy guy so that's a good sponsor to have it not as hairy as you would think

not to get defensive but like i mean it's hairy but it's it's not like it's not like what i thought i was gonna get like when i was 16 i was this same level of hairy and i looked at like my grandfather and i was like i'm fucked yeah and then uh thankfully nature just took it easy on i'm just gonna leave it to my imagination what's under there. Yeah, we don't have to, but yeah, for sure. I'm going to come out and say it. He's got a Pierce Brosnan chest. Oh, thank you, dude.

Yeah. Which is like hairy, but it's like. There it is. And there it is. Yeah, it's like the kind of hairy you want. Yeah. Thank you, dude. That was close to Tom Selleck.

Oh, thank you. These are great. Pierce, I'm a little older than you guys, so you go Pierce. I'm going to go Selleck. Okay, thank you. These are great. Pierce, I'm a little older than you guys, so you go Pierce. I'm going to go Selleck. Okay, cool. And who's the new guy? Do they have a guy now? I think Daniel Craig signed on for the next one.

No, I mean in Harry Chestnut. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Tough question. Is there a guy? Everyone's manscaped. Yeah, I think it's... Dude, honestly, I could... There's got to be someone out there.

Steve Carell? Oh, yeah, Steve Carell, probably. Yeah. But even that, I mean, that's gone. Like, what's new? He is hot, but he's not really a sex symbol. We should see. Again, another thing to do after the show

is a little bit of research together as to who the new hair god... Hair chest guy is. Yeah, it's going to be... Send it out to the stokers guys to do hit us with your hairy dude jeffrey dean morgan um chris thank you for doing the show man thanks for having me we're pumped to have you man i'm a fan i'm a fan of the show i've listened to 74 of the 75 episodes oh thank you that's awesome and we're a fan of yours as well. A lot of you guys might know him as an action sports commentator for surfskate and snowboarding. And he's the current commentator for the WSL, who was our employer for a couple months.

Basically, Get Sent 2.0. Or Get Sent Junior. I could be son of Get Sent. However you guys want to frame it. I like you taking it to the next level. Get Sent 2.0. I like 2.0. Get Sent Deuce.

It's not as funny. The next generation. Shorter. That was an interesting experience for us. We got ripped to shreds by the fans. Well, you saw it coming. And this is something I wasn't as familiar with. I went to surf camp and I read Surfer Magazine a little bit growing up

and saw a couple docs. But Chad's much more in that world world and so before the first episode he was like do you get ready because the like the hardcore surf fans are gonna roast us and i was like i think we did a really good job and then uh and then the comments were just like like i'd never been called like a poser and a kook since i was like kid you know what i mean and they came after us hard on those they came after us hard yeah you know i know i tell chad this i was a vocal defender of get sent i appreciate that so much i i loved the show i've seen your guys stand up i know how funny both of you are in real life and i had friends that i know that i thought would get it and they'd go dude what is this show and i go oh no like these guys are actually really funny yeah yeah yeah watch it again

through that lens and some of them still didn't get it but i i was defending i had a shield sword i preached so much yeah there wasn't much context for like it kind of comedy it kind of just came out yeah it's And on the WSL Instagram. So people are like watching like surfing and they're like, all right, this is good. You know, Felipe Toledo, another air. And then it's just us being like, check out this clip. And they're like, fuck you, dude. What happened?

It's a very sensitive fan base. Right. And then some of our fans had funny comments too. One guy was like, bro, I've been a fan for so long. I love what you and Chad do. The podcast has really helped me through some dark times. I think your videos are hilarious, but please stop doing this. Don't send it anymore.

And it was so genuine. I was like, this guy's not even being mean. How many shows did you guys do? A hundred. A hundred shows. A hundred five-minute episodes. And one guy would comment on every single one, just no. Yeah.

You got to respect the diligence. I like that guy. I've been hearing surf comments since Instagram, or since internet message boards first started. Transworld Surf started in 99. Right around then is when the internet started. And we had open message boards and right away, you know, same comments you would, we would get nowadays, but it's on a, you know, on the message board.

Yeah. So since then, probably 2000, 2001, I've been getting those messages. Yeah. And I like them. It used to get them yeah you know i used to be like whoa how could somebody hate me for saying that this guy's style isn't to my liking or you know whatever it was yeah yeah it's been it's just crazy and it still happens i've had twitter trolls for over a decade same dudes yeah you've been with the same guy? It's amazing.

And I appreciate it. Yeah, at this point, you guys are like best of rivals. Wow, 15 years you've been talking shit to me. This is great. They're like your buddies. Yeah, exactly. Do you listen to them?

Do you think it helps you at all? Is the criticism ever like- Constructive? Yeah, or do you ever put it that way? I think there has been times where it's been constructive. Very few. Because a lot of the times it, like, put it that way? I think there has been times where it's been constructive. Very few. Because a lot of the times it's like, you're fat.

Your voice is annoying. You know, like, you're a nerd. It's all, okay, well, a lot of those things. You know, I have been doing push-ups lately, running a little bit. Yeah, you look great. Thank you so much. That's what I was looking for there. No, but it's crazy to have dedicated trolls for 15 plus years.

You know, that makes you feel like you've made it. Yeah. You kind of experienced cyberbullying when it was right, when it was invented. At the birth of cyberbullying. Because if you could do like a little PSA on it and be like, I've been dealing with this since 2000. When the internet started. I just did an interview. And one of the points that I was trying to make

was, you know, because the guy was saying, you know, you get bullied online and all this. I go, good. I'm glad it's me. Hopefully I can kind of absorb this and take it off of somebody else because they're going to have to put this negative attention on somebody. I enjoy it.

You know, I think it's funny. You're like the sacrificial lamb. Yeah yeah and so yeah i'm a martyr for negative comments online yeah that's a good way to frame it because i mean your head it's like it's it's a heroic it's not gonna hurt me hopefully i alleviate the the torment from somebody else yeah but just like you guys had on your show i mean this is so we announced we're doing wsl it's called surf breaks a and a half, surf news twice a day. One of the first comments on there was, we don't want this. I loved that.

And, you know, in a way, it was so witty. It was very just to the point, concise. We don't want this. Another person just put, bummer. What's a bummer? And the WSL, like, when we experienced that too, they're like, all right, like, we're prepped for these guys. Like, they're so.

Yeah, we had a call. They're like, yeah, they're like, so. We love it. Yeah, like, so what happened is what we expected, and here's how we're going to deal with it. Yeah. So I had, like, a team together. Yeah, and it's, you know, funny because out in out in the world when

you see people you know we did our first show and i literally drove home from santa monica straight to my home break i got out of my car after three hours in the freeway just to jump in the water first person comes up guy that i kind of know but not really he jumps out of his car he's like dude the news was sick oh nice you know So that was the first kind of real life interaction. Oh, that's beautiful. And there's way more people that will watch it, accept it, like it. But as you guys well know. Vocal minority.

Yeah. I try not to put negative comments out there. A lot of times I'll write it. This sucks or something. But I'll just kind of let it float in that middle ground and I will never send it. I'll just delete it because it kind of felt good to write, but then it felt even better to write above it. Therapists tell you to do that. They'll be like, write an angry letter at this person you're mad at and don't send it.

And burn it, right? Yeah, and burn it. So how'd you get into, you grew up in Encinitas? Encinitas, yeah. Dude, great town. Yeah. I love Encinitas. Did you go to La Costa High? It was pre that. It was San Diego High School. Okay, cool, cool. did you get into uh you grew up in encinitas encinitas yeah dude great town yeah i love you go to la costa high or uh it was pre that it was uh san diego high school okay cool cool

and uh were you always into like surf culture and stuff yeah pretty much uh my older brother was a surfer three years older than me um my stepdad surfed and we grew up right on the beach pretty much so you know it was kind of junior high school or grade school bodyboarding junior high still bodyboarding then kind of transitioning to surfing um then started doing contests and stuff like that it was a probably a b-level pro surfer for a while um and then i kind of had every job that you could have from pizza guy to surf shop employee. Then I started working in the surf industry. Were you stoned for both those jobs?

I would say I never drank or smoked weed until I was 21. Smart. And so right when I turned 21, I was all, give it. I want everything. You released the dragon. 21 is all give it every i want everything and so i had at least the drag yes i had that phase where i was the worst surf shop employee there ever was i mean stiff competition literally yeah i would literally push the limits of how stunned you could get go sit in the surf shop and it's a big shop you know it's where moms bring that it wasn't like a hardcore little surf shop yeah you know they have boards and everything so it's a legit cool core

shop but it was huge and they had snowboards and everything and so I just be so high in there moms come in and go excuse me you know I'm trying to get a snowboard and boots and bindings and clothes for my son I'm like I don't snowboard and then my friend would do it and come back he's like dude i just made 75 commission i'm like killer i i'm watching this i did that in my office job for a while it's so it was such a simple fun time though i literally i didn't have a car i had a bmx bike a bong and and friends with weed. That's the life. And that was it.

I would just get high, go work the surf shop job, and then go home. Did you know from an early age that you wanted to be in the industry for the rest of your life, essentially? I guess. I was just talking to my girlfriend about this the other day. I wanted to be a DEA agent when I was a kid. Or FBI DEA. That's cool.

When I was a kid. Because I was super straight edge anti-drugs. Yeah. To literally I was 21 years old. Oh, so you were straight edge in high school? Yeah. Did you do the X's on your hands? X's on hands.

Yeah. We'd go to parties with video cameras and act drunk. And then like film drunk kids. Right. And we thought it was just really hilarious and looking back i mean what is more obnoxious and annoying than a straight edge kid at a party making fun of you were kind of picking on the popular kids yeah yeah and then you know i eventually realized that i wasn't getting laid i was i was oh, that's the opposite that you do to get that. But you know,

some people stay straight edge until they're like 30s and 40s and they still hang out with like high school straight edge kids. Right. Because I had like high school straight edge friends

who would like, they fought a lot because they were probably so angry that they weren't. Hit up, aggression. Yeah, yeah. And they just like to beat up kids who were like drinking

and stuff. Yeah. And they would show up to like a fight and I loved going to like high school fights. You know, I'd always like try to like coordinate it and uh and like film and uh which is kind of evil but then they would always show up with like 35 year olds i was like what are these guys doing here and it was because they were straight edge they

were still like no adults wanted to hang not not to pick on straight edge people too much yeah but i'm sort of back to being straight edge now me too yeah you're sober now come around you've been sober for i haven't drank in five years oh cool congratulations man thank you are you in the program uh no i did i started i did a little bit of it yeah um and then it just you know i have a bunch of friends my dad like a you know a group kind of satellite program, if you will. But it was cool going to meetings and really seeing the process. And for me, I just knew because I'd been asked and told a bunch of times, you've got to quit drinking, you're blowing it, da-da-da. But I think it's until you know.

When you know, okay, I'm good. And there was no crazy, you know, I wasn't nude in an alley in my own vomit. That was before. I didn't, that was fine. That was, that was not a bottom, but it was more of that just the cycle. I'm like, okay, I need to stop for a little bit. And I think the goal was not drink for a month. And then after that month I go, all right, well, it wasn't that bad. And it took probably six months or so to actually feel that much of a difference, which is a testament to how gnarly alcohol is because six-plus months to where I finally was like, oh, my gosh, I feel kind of normal. Yeah, I've had bouts of sobriety,

I feel kind of normal. Yeah, I've had bouts of sobriety. And there's something that there's an amazing feeling where you just feel like you're just building on everything. Yeah. Because when you drink, you sort of like it feels like a step back in a sense. But when you're sober for a long time, it's just like everything you do, it's just you're learning more. You're progressing in everything in life. And you just keep building it up.

It's a challenge. That's one of the cooler feelings a challenge yeah it's kind of that battle too yeah when you go okay i'm doing it three months all right well something either really bad or really good is gonna have to happen for me to break this yeah because i'm on i'm on a roll yeah and so for me that kind of just kept going on and now you know my kids are older seven and ten so they 10, so they're noticing I'm kind of trying to lead by example for them. I mean, I fuck up in many, many other ways. So that's kind of just one little proud thing to have. For them, it's kind of cool. But I don't, you know, obviously I'm hanging out with people that are drunk and drinking and all the time, whatever, wherever. It's not like a judge thing

do you and i don't make fun of people when they're drunk anymore no i i can when i'm in my sober periods and like i'm a sex addict so i don't like watch porn and stuff like that yeah um but i kind of like being around people when they're drunk or even doing drugs sometimes when i'm sober because i'm like oh i can still have fun with them and also like they're kind of hilarious you know i'm not judging them but it's like you talk to someone when they're yacked out on coke when you're sober, and you're just like, whoa, this is a ride. I just realized how annoying I was for that many years

because when you're around drunk people and you're sober, and, you know, the repetition, the close talking, the smells, it's all, holy shit, that was me. And I think that's why people at naa that's one of the big apologies that should be made like yo i'm sorry for being so annoying all those years yeah i remember there was this now i'm just annoying and that's just me that's just my personality i have nothing to blame it on paul f tompkins the comedian said the movie extremely loud and incredibly close was about drunk people exactly but when you were

boozing did you have any crazy times on the north shore oh my god that sounds like so much fun the volcom house i want to go there so bad is that the uh north shore of oahu the surf mecca the seven mile miracle was it's still it well not as as much anymore. I mean, the ultimate party place. Yeah. Because everyone's there. Everyone's basically, I don't want to say on vacation, because most people are there to do their job, to surf big waves and all that.

But everyone else is just there to kind of watch. And so back when I first started going there, it was just out of control raging and you would walk down the beach at night and you could just walk up into any house like oh there's a party at the vulcan house the party the billboard house it was just up and down now it's become more of a serious you know athletic scene it's like oh we can't go to the billboard house today because they're training they're doing yoga yeah yoga classes on but you know i think back in the day it was you know i had many many times where i was

very close to being punched was punched thrown out of parties you know they they talked about north shore midnight being around 10 o'clock and it's so many times because i was really good at partying i excelled that was probably professional level and i would always find myself you know at a party too long so it's one thing if the party's raging and you're there and you know you're surrounded by all different type of people and then it's the next thing when you look around you're the last white dude at the party yeah you're like oh yeah i've been at a party before where everyone else is like we all live here yeah and you're like oh okay yeah yeah yeah can i use the bathroom they're like no you're like all right yeah i had many times where someone's like bro who'd you come with

i'm like oh geez does this guy um i was with those guys yeah he's like now you hear now who you're here with like um i don't know like i should leave some of those those are some rough dudes right so yeah yeah i mean and not just like scary hawaiian guys but rough just rough trade in general that right when you find yourself at a house party at midnight or past that's generally when the ruffians are at their peak of roughness. Right. Rough housing women, too. There's nothing left to do.

Exactly. Did you ever party with Bruce Irons? Oh, yeah. Dude, that sounds like fun. Yeah. He sounds like an animal. It was fun. There was fun, and then there was darkness, for sure.

Oh, yeah. I kind of grew up at the peak of of trans world it was very Bruce Andy heavy yeah I remember we went on a million trips together um you know worked on a bunch of films articles and all that so we were all pretty we were close friends the whole crew and then you know I think as as we've all seen in the documentaries and all that, the party life just gets to a point where the fun kind of ends. And I was right there through all of that. The fun ended where it's like, let's keep going.

It's just like being at a party past midnight. But it's macro level in life. It was super fun. For the non-surf literate, who Bruce and Andy Irons are? Bruce and Andy Irons kind of became the archetype of just radical, hard living, super successful, you know, handsome, top of the world, rich, famous surf champions. And Andy was kind of like Kelly's greatest rival yeah absolutely stretch there yeah you know greatest rival they just nobody was as this is an overused word but savage you know in in

the water the way he's surfing you can still see it today nobody does it like Andy used to do it yeah every. Every turn was just brutal. And he was just that guy that nowadays you'll see more kind of handshaking sportsmanship. And not to say that Andy was a jerk, but there was no – like if he wanted to beat you, nothing was going to stop him. And you saw that. And Kelly Slater is kind of the same way, right? Kelly is kind of one of the last guys of that generation still on tour and still doing it to where he could tell you all about what it used to be like.

I feel like there was so much more emotional, you know, depth to those rivalries and to those events. Because, you know, nowadays with knowing pretty much, you're knowing a lot about all of the surfers. And, you know, again, at the North Shore parties, there was no cameras. If you showed up and you had a camera, it like you need to put the camera away it's dark out don't you know none of this needs to be seen so you know obviously now there's way more clarity transparency with what's happening but back then it was just i mean straight up boys club and anything goes and that that kind of went into the competition as well now it's like there's vlogs documentaries everything's covered so i think it's harder to get away with the shenanigans do you miss those days the uh

you know the like early 2000s well for sure like that like that that surfing era i think yes and no yeah it's great it's great memories yeah i, and that was the peak, too, of surf companies having a ton of money. Yeah. And surf magazines being, you know, we had magazines that were 300 plus pages. So we'd be, you know, sitting in the meeting, drinking beer, going, okay, next 10 pages is going to be dogs in board shorts. You know? We're going to get 25 surfboards and we're going to blow them up. Sound like a good idea?

Yes. Our editorial meetings were at three in the morning sometimes. So the ideas came from true wild times and you could see it in the magazine. It's kind of a stretch too. Was there any correlation to like Jackass at that time kind of also existing and kind of like reinforcing that kind of ethos?

It was pre-Jackass. So I think a lot of it stemmed, at least the ethos of our magazine and kind of how we lived. Our friends was, you know, came from skating, came from Big Brother magazine. We were heavy into that. But that was kind of an antecedent to Jackass, right? Yeah. So, I mean mean all the guys from jackass came from there pre jackass was um this video called land speed video and cky

bam margera i remember that and his crew which was one of the guys stuck shit one guy peed on one guy yeah and then they came back and stuck a turd in the guy's ear and i was like this is the craziest coolest shit yeah i love seen well that was really i think yeah when it when it was like slapping your friends became cool and fun yeah and so and bush jumping you know and that was when i was probably 19 20 21 so to have all of that coming in while all of my friends all of our friend group were just starting to drink it was kind of the perfect storm of you know when we would go to a bar eight of us it was just never never um we were not angry we were not like fighters but we would just fight each other for fun you know break stuff

jumping bushes yeah so that was kind of where you you know, not where we learned it all, but it became really fun and popular in our group. And I think in surfing and skating it was like jump off stuff, slap your friends, you know, pee on each other. Great times. Always fun. Peeing on each other and slapping each other. I mean, where has that gone?

Let's bring that back. Dude, we could bring that back here. I peed on someone once. Ipping each other. I mean, where has that gone? Let's bring that back. Dude, we could bring that back here. I peed on someone once. I have a lot of regret about it. I wish I could erase it. Yeah. Well, you can't erase pee. We're still homies, though.

You could try it again. I think I'm done. You could redeem yourself, dude. It might be coming back. I offered to let him pee on me, and he was like, I'm not going to do that. And I was like, come on. Just pee on me.

If he would have done it, it would have been even. Yeah. But now he knows he has that over you. But I genuinely don't think he wants to. Well, we don't know that for sure. He had some doubt when he said that. Yeah, I sensed it too. I don't think he wants it.

Yeah, maybe. What's his number? It seems like nowadays surfing has become more like surfers are treat themselves more as athletes whereas back in the day it's sort of like a lifestyle maybe treated more as an art do you do you sort of uh have you seen that transition yeah i think back in the day when i guess everybody was kind of partying for lack of a better term everybody's partying so now we see that being replaced by training which is great i mean we're seeing better surfing than ever right the level that that men women are at boys and girls cats and dogs we're seeing better surfing than we've

ever seen yeah so you can't you know you can't hate on people training yeah um and we're also seeing longer careers we're seeing all of that coming from i would say less partying and more training it's not sexy really but it's healthier it's you know it's working yeah you're just seeing better surfers better surfing and more of them but so we we hung out with some dudes from hurley a couple weeks ago and they had mentioned that the, just in surf apparel, that the industry was kind of shrinking because like in the early two

thousands, it was cool for like everyone to wear surf gear, even if you didn't serve. Yeah. Do you think that the, the market share for surfing could be shrinking because those, some of that ethos is gone. Like if it still had that wild spirit of like partying and fighting and all that kind of

like romantic heightened yeah wild west yeah would do you think it would even if the surfing was a little bit worse it would be better for just selling it yeah i mean i feel like or is it now it's like corporate you know trends trends dictate it you know i feel like uh a lot of times if you you know you see a pro surfer a cool surfer you know they're wearing a band shirt or they're wearing a white t-shirt whereas it used to be you know 90s early 2000s it was like as big a logo as you can get remember the trunks yeah i mean the trunks were pants basically with huge logos on the sides and now you would be it would be kind of hard to find you know a surf brand that has a whole line of big you know those big giant logos are gone it's now

it's like you know tiny little arm logo so i think the identity of surf clothing is really kind of blended into the landscape of all clothing be it street wear or whatever yeah because when you see a pair of trunks now it's like okay those are that's a black pair of trunks you know and you wouldn't know if it's ruka hurley vans or whatever but um now it's kind of more on that technical side like i got a pair of these new vans trunks and they have no fly in the front have you seen those yeah we got some hurley ones where they're great that new way everything is so comfortable and so good so comfortable so it's kind of like you don't have to look like a quote-unquote surfer but you're still

wearing the surf brand a lot of surfers are very dapper now. You know, like I'll look at like Connor Coffin or like, they like have like stylized hair, you know, it's like, like well fitting clip, manscape. Julian Wilson, very manscaped.

You look bad. I mean, it's so fun to pick up a surf magazine from the nineties. I mean, the eighties, I have a bunch of photos on my phone. Cause I was just looking at an eighties surf magazine, 1984,

best ads ever. Illustrated sharks with, you know, like a moon coming up and a guy on a board, but there's no wave. It's crazy. But then you look at the 90s, and it was all about big glasses, fisheye lens. And for some reason in the ads, it was a lot of people eating food it's always like taking a bite of burrito with the big logo on the front you know and so it's really fun to look at 90s magazines and go oh my god like these clothes are so crazy but then you see little things that come back like the puffy shoes now are back right balenciaga fat shoes are $500 and the hypest thing you can get.

You know, Osiris DC, everybody's coming back with these big chunky shoes. Oh, those are coming back? I used to rock those. You worked in apparel, right? Like, or you worked like for Arnett sunglasses? Yeah, I've worked for everything. Arnett, Reef, Hurley, Billabong.

I was actually in Hurley's first ever ad in a zine, and I was nude with chips and salsa all over my body. Nice. Covering it. That was before they started doing those nude sushi parties. Really? Yeah. So I was in Hurley's first ad.

Did you have to go up against other naked guys? No, it was just me. I used to be a – I was a roadie for blink 182 yeah i wanted to get into this too yeah and we would just you know wreck shit backstage and mess with people and i i think it was in alaska and they were this these people these college kids were coming in to interview them and so i'm like well, well, let me just let, I'm just gonna lay over here naked. And so they're like, yeah, oh wait here. Like, so we covered, I laid on a table naked

with chips and salsa and beans and cheese and stuff, like all over my body. And nobody, we didn't say anything. It wasn't like, hey, grab some chips. It was just kind of like, all right, cool. Yeah, here, sit down. And they were doing this interview and eating the chips off my body. And the kids interviewing them, they didn't say anything for the first, like, 15 minutes.

They were just tripping. They thought it was, like, their thing. So that was where that picture came from, the first early ad. What was it like hanging out with Blank 182 and Green Day? And this was when they were like huge. I started, I was a roadie. Yeah, I was a roadie and a drum tech for Blank when they were still small.

And then they got to a level where Travis Barker got in the band. So I started with the previous drummer. His name was Scott. Normal little drum kit. Travis got in the band. Drum kit got a little bigger. And I was like. Normal little drum kit. Travis got in the band. Drum kit got a little bigger.

And I was like, I didn't know how to do any of that. I kind of just winged it. And so his drum set started getting more and more technical. And eventually he was doing Tommy Lee spinning in the air, like on the crane and shit. But for me, it was kind of like I got to this certain point where you know i just i didn't know how to set up his drum set anymore right because it kind of got out of my realm of expertise which was nothing was he a better drummer than the dude from before yeah oh i mean

travis is like one of the best yeah he's considered he's still considered i'd say one of the best um but i kind of it kind of you know i did it for a couple years and then we always were homies with everybody and so writing in bands with boys the documentary that my band cut you up was in kind of just stemmed from a dare i didn't have a band and i remember telling the guys in blink you know you guys got to listen to good like your music is terrible you have to listen to good music you know fugazi sonic youth bowie there's good music out there and you guys are blowing it like your shit's you told them that yeah that their music was bad yeah how did they receive that well i mean they were playing arenas so they're like like you know it's it's actually better than

you might think i'm like no no it doesn't matter what you're playing yeah don't get it and so you know they're always i'd always go like you know my band is way better than you guys and so they finally were like okay well we'll put your band on to open for us at an arena in san diego and i'm like. So I just got some friends and we made a band. Aaron, what's up? That was my first concert. Really? Yeah. Where? Cox Arena, San Diego State.

Thank you. I was 16 years old. What? That was my first show. I saw Cut You Up open for Phoenix TX and Blake Lane too. I knew I liked this guy. Aaron, was Cut You Up better than Blake? Sorry, dude. Oh, dude. You're not alone, too. I knew I liked this guy. Aaron, was Cut You Up better than Blank? Sorry, dude.

Yeah. Oh, dude. Aaron. You're not alone, man. We came out with two drummers, though. Two drummers to start the show was pretty cool. Aaron. So we were an avant-garde indie rock band. And you're still playing.

Still playing. And for that particular show, oh, that's so rad, Small World. Yeah. We got booed for the first half of our set. Were you booing, Aaron? No, I was not. So we had played one show at a bar before that. So our second show ever was at an arena with, I don't know,

was there 12, 10,000 people? Oh, yeah. It was giant. Yeah, it was big. Huge. And we were like, we don't care. We didn't have anything to really lose. So we came out.

We had space helmets on, two drummers, and we played our weird shit, booed for the first half. And then by the second half, people were kind of like getting it. That's awesome. And then after we played, we caused $2,500 worth of damage to our backstage room

and so we got a bad reputation what would you guys do so like you guys were breaking like would you guys just like kind of look at each other

and be like it's time to break or would one guy just come in and be like nice microwave it would just escalate yeah

organic it was organic escalation right right yeah and so we got that reputation which was totally warranted. Were you kind of the leader?

Would you set the tempo? Definitely one of the instigators. Right. I mean, we got wild. We would get really wild. That's fun. Yeah. Did you break guitars and shit?

Yeah, we broke guitars. What do you play? I play everything poorly. Drums, bass, guitar, sing. I actually have a new single coming out soon that I just finished the other day. We'll hype it on the pod. I didn't play the saxophone on this,

but I had a saxophone player come in. Nice. It is sensual. I mean, this is breaking news. I can give you a sample later if you want. yeah so i you know just kind of made it up yes i play guitar yes i play drums you know and i grew up listening to sonic youth and slint and kind of avant-garde music where it wasn't about um many chords you do. Like the hook or something like that.

Yeah, and making real songs. It was just kind of about playing something that sounded cool to you. So that's kind of – just the other day, I mean, I've been in a band now for 20-something years. I've released a bunch of songs on my own. I was jamming with this other dad from my school. He's like, oh, yeah, play an E or something. I'm like, I don't know what that is.

It's pretty embarrassing because I was telling him, like, oh, yeah, I just recorded this song. It was killer. I played all the instruments. Can't wait until it comes out. He's like, oh, sick. All right, well, let's jam. He's like, play a E.

I'm like, where does my finger go for that one? And that's what happens at band practice. I'll write or write. I'll play it like a riff right and the rest of the band will all start jamming and then one of the guitar players or you know brand so it's brandon brandon and matt amador in the band and some of you be like i'll be sick if you switched over to the G chord. And that is that. You kind of like put your finger on the spot and look like, yeah, no? Testing it out. One more down, yeah?

Until where literally Brandon oftentimes is coming over and putting my finger where it goes. Put your finger where it goes. Have your buddy put your finger where it goes and good things can happen. For sure. Would Tom DeLonge ever corner you and tell you about aliens oh yeah really all the time that's awesome yeah what percentage of his conversation did that make up it didn't used to be like that um but eventually it became all encompassing it seems like it, yeah. All aliens all the time. Yeah. Yeah. It's wild.

What do you think it was? Was he just... What do you think it was that drove him to that kind of... Drove him to madness? Or fanaticism or obsession. But yeah. I think just, you know, maybe just kind of boredom with the band. And, you know, when you're rich and you have a lot of time on your hands you can indulge in your hobbies i think more than a normal person maybe he's always

been into it so it wasn't like a new thing but it's just escalated. Yeah, exactly. What was Green Day like? Green Day was rad. They're good dudes. Yeah. We, we, we, we became, you know, we be kind of, we went out with Blink as like their pet project. And a couple of days into the tour, we're kind of swayed into the Green Day camp. We weren't even supposed to talk to them.

We were not supposed to, they they they had it in writing like do not engage with green day green day put that in the running or yeah well green day's management okay was like we don't want anything to do with you guys because i think the way it was pitched to them was oh these guys are crazy they're gonna be wasted eating acid before their shows and blah blah blah and they're like okay well that's your thing like you need to keep them away from us so of course the first thing we did the first show was barge into their dressing room and drink all their booze and then they loved us yeah nice um and duda i i heard you on the other podcast another podcast you were on wild ideas in the wilderness i fucked up wild ideas wild ideas worth living yeah and you were great on it

and then um thank you you talked about you have a mantra or you're into doing mantras and stuff like that yeah but yeah i had a mantra what was it that all i am a i am a uh beacon for new ideas i am a or new opportunities it's like abundance well obviously you're not using it anymore i'm not i i i did it are you whatever that mantra was i did it yeah it's about like abundance right like i attract abundance yeah i did not say abundance no but something like that um But you're not doing my... You attract issues anymore. Damn it, dude. I had a whole song about it too.

I know what you guess, but it worked. I've made it. Right. I'm fixed. You got all the new opportunities. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah. So I don't need it anymore.

Well, it's cool because you have created a career out of your lifestyle. I just remembered it. I'm having fun. I'm a magnet of new opportunities. There we go. And prosperity? Yeah, I think so. Something like that.

Oh, I thought abundance was prosperity. That's where I got mixed up. Prosperity is way cooler than abundance. Yeah. I'm wearing my abundance always t-shirt right now. Are you really? No, I'm not. That'd be a sick shirt though.

How about abundance with Chad and JT? That's a good idea. Yeah, that could be this. Our logo could be like a crystal. Yeah. Just a crystal abundance. Or just like a cornucopia of like food and vegetables. Oh, like true abundance and cash.

Yeah. All kinds of abundance. Not decadence. Abundance. No, and it's all meant to be shared. You're on your computer, but you're just looking at emails. You're not looking at anything about me. No, dude, these emails are emails that we're going to answer.

It's all about me? No, no, these are emails that we answer. I'd love for you to answer some of the listeners' questions with us. Awesome. Yeah. Before, I just got a question. Have you surfed pipe? Yes.

Oh, good question. What's that like out in the lineup? Yeah. Before I just got a question. Have you surf pipe? Yes. Oh, good question. What's that like out in the lineup? I have not surfed it in the traditional sense of it being the Bonsai pipeline. I surfed it probably a couple of feet overhead. Okay. They would call that two feet here in Los Angeles. Or I'm sorry, they would call it two feet in Hawaii.

Here you would probably call it four to six feet. Yeah. It's terrifying. It's really fast. When you watch it on video, it looks doable. And that's what most of these crazy waves in the world have surfed. Chopo and Tahiti, Cloud Break. And you watch them on video and you go, I could do that.

I want to do that. Not on a crazy huge scale, but when you see it, when it's head high, a couple feet over your head, you're going, oh, yeah, I got it. Then you get out there, and the reality of how fast those waves are, I mean, pipeline, you're sitting there, and when it's at a normal size that normal people should be able to handle, I mean, it's flat, and then all of a just boom. Jacks up. It's a, you know, under a second, the wave jacks up. And if you're not, when you see that level of surfing in real life, whether it's guys doing airs or guys surfing big barreling waves, I mean, that's when you kind of realize how incredible and talented and you know this the specimen that they are because it is i mean i'm a i was a former quote-unquote professional surfer and i got pitched four times in a row trying to surf pipe and i thought i was like good and you can see the reef like right under the water when

you're surfing right it's very shallow it's super shallow it's It's so scary. And that was the reason why I was stunted in pro surfing was I went to Hawaii when I was 16. And the first day I got there, I go, I need to get a job because this is super scary. I could do airs and all that, and I made a living doing that for a little bit. But it got to the point where, you know, you're going to be in the Triple Crown. No, I was scared in Huntington Beach yesterday, so I don't think the Triple Crown's for me. Dude, yeah, whenever it's big and I'm like a beach break in LA,

I'm like, I can't imagine. It's just like, you know, eight feet. I'm like getting kind of scared. I'm like, I can't imagine like 10-foot pipeline. Oh, yeah. And yeah, like when you see like bruce irons drop in yeah like oh he does it so simply and so smooth yeah it looks so easy it looks so yeah well and all those waves look so perfect too because they do you don't you see the white butts and stuff

but when you see it in real life cloud break is a perfect example of a wave that you're literally bred to think is the most perfect way. It looks like it. You go out there and you are going to get smoked no matter what, because the wave itself, I mean, you have to be an incredibly good tube rider to even make that wave. Every wave is a closeout for a normal person. And there's nowhere to escape. So even, you know, when it's double overhead, you're paddling and you think, oh, most perfect waves in the world have a channel.

And you can, you know, if you see a big wave coming, you just paddle over, but it's not like that there because that wave is so fast, you cannot get out of the way. You're, I mean, you just get lit up no matter what so the again first time out there i'm all i'm gonna get the barrel of my life jump off the boat start paddling in went too far out looked out set came and just i mean detonated me and i just went in i go that okay i'm trying yeah yeah yeah and you know i i had a long time where my ego was crushed daily and I was embarrassed

and I would end up doing really weird shit to get out of surfing big waves. Like literally, you know, pre-cutting my leash string, loosening fin. I mean, because, you know. To save face. Yeah. And it's a, you know, in this sport or activity or whatever it's a macho thing and it's like embarrassing if you're scared of big waves i'm not embarrassed about it anymore yeah like i don't have anything to prove but back then i i did have something to prove and so you know i would

manufacture reasons like why i could i wouldn't surf that day well i don't have the right up did anyone ever call you out were they like chris we've noticed a pattern here yeah for sure yeah let's go like let's go and it got to the point where i'd be like no i'm not i don't want to yeah i was at monuments in cabo it was like eight feet six to eight feet and i got one wave i'm like all right that's it i did it yeah i'm out yeah like i'm like i've gotten to the age where i'm like i'm i'd rather not die yeah like there's no one on the beach and like it just it also gets to a point where you're just so scared you're not having fun some people thrive on that i'm just not like i don't ollie 20 stairs 10 stairs i mean like three stairs because i don't need to i just have fun doing other things bro i don't even ollie so i'm an o ollie. We're there together. You'll get there.

You're an ollie. Yeah, out of all the things I do, surfing is by far the hardest. Surfing's hard. They say stand-up comedy is the hardest art. I think surfing's the hardest art. Yeah. Well, you're one of the rare people who is very familiar with both, too. Good at both.

Jerry Seinfeld, I don't think he's been in the water much. Yeah, I'll be like, Seinfeld, why don't we go hit cloud break together and then we'll talk yeah exactly except i can't serve you're funny i couldn't even serve cloud break so i'd get destroyed too maybe i'll go hit um where can i hit with seinfeld comedy seller comedy seller montauk break you mean comedy seller then montauk trussells comedy seller take the A train to Rockaway. Yeah. And then, then see who's funny.

That's a nice day. Yeah. Yeah, do stand up on Inside the Tube. Why don't you make a sitcom about this? What a,

and you also did the commentary at Jaws, right? Yeah. For their event? Big wave, yeah, some big wave world tour events.

Jaws was crazy. The Eddie at, at Wa maya on its biggest scariest year are you scared for the surfers or yeah i did an event called uh cape fear at a place called ours and we are on site we're right above the break and every single time somebody wiped out or crashed the wave is so gnarly. It's so close to the rocks. It's just, I mean, it shouldn't be a wave that's ridden by anyone, and this was one of those days where you're commentating.

You know, with a partner, I think I was with Aki at the time, or Dave Wassil, kind of going back and forth, guys would slam and be underwater, and you would literally just, usually you're kind of going, and forth, guys would slam and be underwater. And you would literally just, usually you're kind of going, oh, yeah, that dude fell. That was crazy. This one, it was kind of like you had this emergency protocol. Everything was set up to where they would go and save people.

But every single wave, every single wipeout, you would have to take a breath. Somebody slams and you go, all right, let's see if he comes up. Because literally it looked like somebody could have died on every single wave. And so that, I mean, and I kind of go through that sometimes with skate events that I do. I do the Vans Park series and these, you know, it's giant cement skate parks and people literally doing the craziest the craziest tricks and you're just going you know i i don't like slam videos and all that no i mean so it's kind of like usually in a surf contest pipeline is a rare case chopo uh cloud break you know places big wave

events but usually it's placed you know beach breaks around the world or whatever and somebody kind of slams it eats it it's kind of funny but then there's other events where you just have to stop talking and just wait till you see the guys you know you see his board and you're going okay come on and sometimes it feels like a long time yeah but then you'll see the guy pop up and the one of the craziest things that I see, contest after contest, whether it's skate, surf, or snow, is somebody slams at that level. They eat it so bad. And especially in surfing, you'll see them.

A wipeout that would just kill all of us, all of us at once. And they just grab their board, boom, right back out. Crazy. And so you learn to just be silent during these yeah you can between moments yeah you just kind of take a breath and you know you wait you see it in skate a lot some of you slam and they're laying on the ground you and the people that are producing filming it and editing it or you know directing they'll address the situation and we have protocols that we say you know we have a great medical staff and they'll make sure that this person's all good and they kind of they'll take it off they do it in all sports right you'll see the crash the accident or you

know durant you see his leg right yeah they show it because it's live and then they usually take a beat and come come off of that show the crowd something else yeah so you can kind of get back to normality right um and give respect yeah totally yeah you know and skate whatever it's like you see these dudes guys girls pop up and it's skate it's crazy and when you see somebody slam on a particular part of the park or in a certain trick, more often than not, 99% of the time, they'll drop right back in and try that again to immediately kind of conquer it. I see that so much. And that is scary. When you see somebody slam doing, you know, whatever, nose grind, grind right they slam and you're going oh my

god like that don't do that for six months after that yeah they're up dropping right back in you go you know the kid is back on the escalator they're going back to the same spot it's crazy i see so many surfers saying that that when it's huge in like hawaii or something they're like you just gotta get pounded just to get that fear a little bit out of you. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I'll get pounded. I'll be like, all right, I'm going home. Yeah.

Has all this concussion stuff, has that changed at all how some of these athletes are approaching the sport or how like, because I hear about it a lot in football and hockey and stuff and combat sports, I guess. Has that permeated into action sports as much? I think at a slower pace than that.

Well, I mean, I guess with football, really, it's just in the last five or ten years. Yeah, it's fairly recent. Yeah, so I think it's similar. You know, I think with, well, in skate right now, you're seeing it with the Olympics coming up. If it's an Olympic qualifier event, if you're under 18, you have to wear a helmet. And we've never seen that before, mandatory helmet in skate.

In snow, you have to wear a helmet no matter what age, what, you know, rails, jumps, half pipe, whatever. You cannot compete without a helmet. So I think that's probably going to happen with skate soon. Yeah, you cannot compete without a helmet. So I think that's probably going to happen with skate soon. With surfing, I mean, you probably see one guy in a helmet out of 500, and these are guys that have sustained previous head injuries. So, you know. It was Owen Wright who had the bad.

Right, yeah. Owen Wright. And he's all the way back though, right and he's all the way back though right he's all the way back yeah so it's it's definitely not as common or talked about in surfing um i unfortunately i think with now we have this kind of more generations of research or you know study pool yeah to pull from that that will definitely be a conversation nathan fletcher who's one of the gnarliest guys in the world always wears a helmet now just because you know he's just said you know i've i've hit my head enough i've done it enough he's got kids and stuff so he's like i'm wearing a helmet like i don't i he's as cool as a surfer gets, so he can do whatever he wants.

Right. And maybe that will trickle down. I don't know. That'd be interesting. Yeah, I remember my dad would force us to wear helmets skiing. Yeah. And then we were the only ones, and now it's every single person. Yeah.

And if someone's not wearing a helmet, you're like. You're like, whoa. Yeah. Yeah, you see them, like, kind of slaloming down the mountain. the mountain you're like all right that person needs to be like protected well it's a classic you know it's just i hate you know i don't hate you i'll say the word woke but my parents never once told me to wear a helmet on my bike in front of the house on my skateboard whatever they were just like it wasn't i think i had one maybe but now my kid was riding a baby's like a toddler bike you know no pedals every day without a helmet i'm like yo put

your helmet on he's all dad this is a bike for a three-year-old i don't care you know i think just now it's i don't know are your kids gonna be action sports like demons? I mean, I just provide. I'm not a contest dad. Like, I just provide them. Trust me, I got stoked when they were saying, dad, I want to skate, you know, because I'm always skating in front of them and surfing and all that. And so I always just offered it. Like, hey, we can skate.

We can do this. And they weren't really super into it until they could do it on their own. Like, hey, we can skate. We can do this. And they weren't really super into it until they could do it on their own. And you'll see when more, I think a lot of times when as the dad, I think I'm a cool dad. Like I can still skate and surf and do all this, but they don't want to hear it from me. So we would get them lessons at the skate park. Because when some teenager's like, yo, you got to put your feet here and this and that.

They're like, oh, okay. And I'm like, dude, I've been telling you that since you were four right what's up and they're all shut up dad so it's kind of like that you know and you know it's i my son is into coding and both of them are into uh or in their in their school they do they're in a bilingual program so they learn multiple languages and all this and i'm i'm like yo keep coding like that's sick you know keep working on your spanish we can surf and skate do it whenever but that right there like that's how you're gonna take dad to tavarua because you're a coder and you're gonna be right there you know there's everywhere i serve, skate, there's parents, coaches, filmers, and it's pretty radical.

Nothing against it. Like if that's your passion, that's totally cool. I just, you know, let them do whatever. Yeah. More waves for me, man. My kids aren't out there. So, Chris, can we answer some listeners' questions with you? Cool.

Let me just plug this thing because I'm running low on battery. Oh, this juice is low. So you guys pounded these drinks. Yeah, this is like almond milk and then some other blue stuff. Did you already go to the gym today? What's up? Did you already go to the gym? I did, yeah.

So should I not drink this if I didn't go to the gym? No, no, it's just almond milk. It's not super cool. Yeah, it's good probiotics. didn't go to the gym? No, no, it's just all of them. It's not super cool. Yeah, it's good probiotics. This color and this,

this is going to go good with what I just had for lunch. Oh, the chili. Chili spot. Sketchy. Stoker's. It's literally a block away. Yeah, Chris went to this chili spot

and it was, it looked pretty filthy. You know, it's been there since 1900. Yeah, I think they haven yeah i think they're doing something right yeah and then and other things wrong yeah which i think i'll see and feel on my drive home when i get in my car and i'm on the five south the chili might come back to haunt me chili and almond milk blue red chili blue almond milk yeah and i had a dr pepper which i hadn't had in i don't know five years dude i was actually i was at a show last night and they were talking

about dr pepper and i'm like you know what i need to grab a dr pepper asap it was a pep in a bottle you know old school style oh good stuff so you gotta have the glass bottle yeah i feel like coke yeah like what is it a mexican coke that has real sugar. Cane sugar? Yeah. I think it was of that same ilk. Yeah. It was in the same thing cabinet. It was good.

Some of my best memories are summer, it's hot, I'd be skating or something, and I'd go get a giant Coke. Yeah. That's the best. Yeah. I never drink soda anymore, but every- I don't either. Did I say sody?

I never drink soda anymore. I don't either. Did I say sody? I never drink sody. I don't drink soda anymore, but sometimes when you sneak a little, run for the border, Taco Bell, something like that where, I don't know, every once in a while it sounds so good. If we have a big show or something, I'll always get a McFlurry after. Yeah, dude. Celebrate. Treat yourself. Springsteen says you gotta celebrate every like big moment with like an ice cream scoop

or something. Yeah, I fully agree with that. Whatever the boss says goes. I know, he's always just right on the money. The boss is always right. Alright, first question. What's up, my lords? I was recently listening to one of your pods and one of the stokers asked a question about his dong name. It got me thinking that I haven't had a name for my dong since i was with my ex-girlfriend about eight years ago

my dong used to be named piper and he responded to the name without fail whenever me and the xgf would get intimate and we transitioned from foreplay to play play i'd always announce it's time to pay the piper i've been with my current girlfriend for over six years now and everything is just dandy but i'm feeling some nostalgia on how stoked I would get from having a dong name and a catchphrase. I was hoping you guys could help me nail down a good dong name to raise my stoke. Pen 15. Names, phrases I am considering. Moses.

I hold out my staff and the Red Sea is parted. Hulk. Hulk smash. He-Man. I have the power. Malfoy. Make or say the correct catchphrase. Give it here, Malfoy.

Kind regards from Slaughterhouse. Oh, well, we would have to really see a picture of it to, I think. Do you have a picture of it? Of his dong? Yeah. I mean, to give it if we want to really do it right. I see what you're saying. Because we don't want to make it sound bigger than it is.

He sent one. Conjecture here. He sent one, but I'm not sure if I'm supposed to share it with anyone beyond Chad and I. It's just private? Yeah. And it's a good looking piece. List out some names and we'll let you know. Voldemort.

Yeah. Oh, dude. Vlad. The Impaler. Yeah. But you just see it. So see how quick you said The Impaler? Yeah.

If you announce that to your lady or boyfriend or whatever, you're like, meet Vlad. The first thing they're going to think is the impaler, which is about to happen. Right. You want to have good associations with the name. It's a hard word. It's not a beautiful word to say, Vlad. Yeah, the Slavic language is easy on the ears. You know, I mean, right away, the impaler is what follows that.

I was, you know, a lot of people goaler's what follows that i was uh you know a lot of people go for like force or like you're gonna drop the hammer you know like names like that but i would name it maharishi he brought transcendental meditation to okay the west i'd be like yeah he's a wise guy you could nice so do we have a catchphrase for that like uh meet the maharishi Prepare to be balanced. Namaste. Yeah. Do you have your mantra ready?

Yeah. It's time for some namas play. Yeah. You know what? A lot of times, too, that nobody, and I don't know because, again, I might be out of the loop in penis naming. I doubt that, Chris. Penis naming conventions um naming your wean after a living

person so you had said the word hammer sledgehammer what if you named it peter gabriel sledgehammer yeah and so because look at because look in your eyes in your eyes you're seeing the sledgehammer meet Peter Gabriel sledgehammer with the fruit and the animation I love that and I just have one too Kenny Loggins Danger Zone I haven't been tested for STDs in a while

riding to the danger zone this girl Christy that I went to high school with was really creative she asked me what I would name my penis. And I couldn't come up with anything. I asked her. And right away, she said, Sir Francis Drake. And I always thought that was pretty cool.

And then he could say something like, it's time to sail the high seas and go to work. That's a deep one. A conquistador. Yeah. Or to just name it Drake. And if there's no reason other than, I used to like Drake. Yeah, when it's soft, it's Aubrey. When it's hard, it's Aubrey.

When it's hard, it's Drake. Aubrey? Because that's Drake's real name. Oh, really? Clay Thompson told Drake that he told the media he's only calling Drake Aubrey until the finals are over. Yeah. Dude, I heard Drake calls his house Yolo Manor. Oh, nice.

There's this girl when I first moved to LA. She'd be like, I'm going to YOLO Mana tonight and I'm like sweet and she used to go there? yeah she would go there I don't know how she how's she doing? I don't know I think she went back to England oh so I guess

she all YOLO'd out sorry I don't have more details for the story no have fun on the other side alright please make this is another one about dick hey stokers I'm a long time listener of the pod or close to it I'm a long time listener of the pod

and a fellow South OC native from Laguna Niguel boom clap I'm writing in to seek advice with the current situation I'm having with my balls this might sound weird but my balls always fluctuate in size on the daily, and I'm not sure if it is based on the temperature around my sack or a deeper problem with a hidden meaning. Do you guys ever experience this in your daily lives?

Fortunately, my balls always come out to play and hang pretty nice when it comes to bone time. So no complaint about my balls when it's really time to perform. However, I just get weirded out when my balls get all shriveled and smaller than when I saw them last. Thanks, Stoker, for always keeping my stoke tank full in my darkest hours is that a question yeah or comment um no i think reassurance yeah he wants to know how to celebrate if he can either fix the situation or if he can accept the situation i think it's the latter you just dude stop picturing balls as one thing they don't

have to be one size or one shape or look a certain way all balls are different they're all not that great looking so i think whatever your balls are it's fucking good enough my dog i was always a little self-conscious um because mine are kind of a tight package nice um i love that yeah the uh the the the the business end is great the uh the underside right is it's pretty tight package but i i always kind of thought it would be fun to have ones that kind of swing yeah and it's kind of rare that mine swing. But a side note of that is I thought it was time two days ago. I played my kids ACDC Big Balls for the first time in their young lives, and they thought it was hilarious. That's such a great song about balls.

Oh, I haven't heard it. Big Balls. You've never heard ACDC Big Balls? I promise you I'll be blasting it with the windows down on the Prius. And imagine a 7 and a 10-year-old hearing it out for the first time. You guys will probably have a similar reaction. Sweet. We thought it was a little inappropriate, but really funny.

Nice. Dude, I'm excited to hear it. Yeah, it's great. What would you tell this young stoker about his notes? I would say, you know, it's not all about the appearance you know be be proud of what they're doing for you yeah if they're making jizz they're creating jizz and life force and you know you're gonna be able to like shoot it um sorry but uh yeah you know like just be like and when they move around when when they, like, get small and stuff,

be like, I'm proud of you guys for being cognizant of your temperature. You're, you know. They're smart. They're surviving. You're gauging your temperature so you can keep making jizz for me so I can have something to show for my hard work. That's so true, dude. If it feels good when they're touched,

they should be celebrated no matter what the size. If you're looking at a factory, you're not judging it by the exterior. You're judging it by how well the machinery is working inside. So if production is up to snuff, then whatever it takes, baby. Give them a big what up. Be like, dudes, thank you so much because you're going to produce a little shredder. And they always look sexy when it's time for bonage. So, I mean, they know when to spruce up and look their best. All right all right boys it's time yeah it's hard to get up let's get let's put on our tux that you

don't see them that often you know it's kind of you have to there's mirror angles and stuff that you would have to get to really get down there and give them a good look and talk to them and pep them you know so you have to put in energy and effort and there are diets for your nuts for your nuts to be better this stuff a lot of squash i like what you're saying acknowledge the dark side of your sack yeah it's like the moon escape them dude um yeah i picture when the balls are getting ready to like produce you know to like look good for boning time they're like a bunch of navy seals in an airplane getting ready to skydive yeah you know they all just stand up put their helmets on go time yeah it's go time

what's up councils my name is andy and i have a large problemo with chasing a real relationship i've previously only had two relationships i've been cheating on during both of the relationships and now i'm finding it hard for me to build up trust with a dimer and start something that could be beautiful i want to ask this girl on a date but i'm too much of a poontang to do it do y'all have any advice for this dire problem in my life at the moment oh it's gonna take a minute uh i mean he's been hurt before he's been cheating twice, so he's had some bad experiences that I think are kind of making him be pessimistic about all future opportunities.

I think that there's multiple, there's one, two, three, there's multiple people out there for everyone. The fact that he has acknowledged the fact that he's been hurt before shows that he's kind of uh you know he's he's looked that issue in the face and he's he's he's dealing with it i think he needs to to give himself some credit for getting past that and not getting angry and he's got to uh go into his you know his future relationship with uh a closed-off heart, because maybe that was one of the reasons why he was cheated on,

was he was closed off. If you're open and honest with your forthcoming partner, you have less of a chance of getting hurt like that. I like that. Yeah, it does. That was great, yeah. I'm going to cry. Really?

Let me get his number. You're a good dude. Call him. I like it. Yeah. Getting'm going to cry. Yeah. Really? Let me get you this number. You're a good dude. Call him. I like it. Yeah. Dude, yeah. Getting cheated on sucks. Yeah. I feel for the guy.

I don't have much more to add on top of that. I love being present, honest, and open. Accepting abundance. Accepting abundance. Prosperity. Like, yeah. You just got to get yourself pumped up. Watch whatever gets you jacked.

Listen to whatever gets you jacked. Get all that energy and call this girl and just say, what up? Throw on that helmet and jump out of the plane. Yeah. It's empowered vulnerability. Yeah. Trying to connect. Another t-shirt we could make.

Empowered vulnerability. I love that. All right. What's up, Chad? What up, JT? My boy has got a real dilemma on his hands and he doesn't know how to handle this sitch. So my B&H, boy from home, I love that, has been crushing on this girl for mad long,

and she has always been so flirty with him and has led him on for years. So last week, they had an apartment in the city themselves, got some drinks, and went back, and boom, nothing happened. The kicker is he was more certain than Bran Stark that he was going to take his little Jeffrey for a swim. His stoke tank is nearing empty. Is he the schmole?

Should he give up on this chick? Need your help, stokers. J-Bear. Friend zone. So they got an apartment and nothing happened? I mean, yeah. And he's been after it for a while? Yeah, and I don't know.

Maybe he's got a shot in the future. The thing I really like about this is that this dude's reaching out on behalf of his dog to see how he can help his homie. So just keep supporting him. I think it'll turn out all right for your buddy. But good on you. I respectfully have to disagree.

I'm on your show, so I'm on your terms here. But I feel like that guy's friend is in the friend zone. And as we all know, once you're in the friend zone, there's no way out. I've never seen a successful exit. What's your way out? You tell, see, he's in the zone. You need to tell him how to get out of there. I think if you're your best self and if you act like, if you're romantic as fuck, but you're not romantic.

Like when I saw this YouTube video about how romantic comedies fuck up our brains. Right. And how like big dramatic acts for another person are actually a bad idea. Like when Ryan Gosling in the notebook built the house that him and Rachel McAdams first had sex in. He bought the rundown house and he built it into like a mansion, hoping he would get her back. Like it was saying, that's a bad thing to do. I'm like, it's only a bad thing to do if not getting her back breaks you in the end.

If you rebuild the house and you're just like, I fucking built a house for somebody, that's awesome. I think when you're living life that way, where you're just doing beautiful things without expectation of like what you're gonna get in return, then you end up getting that stuff. You know what, I'm going back. I'm coming back around because you said that word expectation he went into that apartment with expectation expectation yes i'm getting some and i feel like women and

now he's let down and now she's seeing that he's let down and if he would just be like whatever i'm just doing my own shit if she doesn't want to participate that's all right but i'm just going to keep doing my thing and living my life and i still like her but you know i'm just i my own shit. If she doesn't want to participate, that's all right. But I'm just going to keep doing my thing and living my life. And I still like her, but you know, I'm just, I'm going to keep doing the stuff that makes me feel good. I think he's got a shot.

I think most women, at least in my experience, can sense expectation above anything. I was about to say that, yeah. If you come in with expectations, they know. And they're going, they're like, no. If you come in crazy horny oh yes they cower away they like like they don't like it when i come in with like crazy horniness my girlfriend's like what are you doing that's why you never leave the house with a loaded gun right yeah getting

all grab assy and horny yeah you gotta yeah give just be a. Give without expectation. Just give for the sake of giving. Yes. People are like, oh, you're so sweet. Why are you so sweet? Because I like being sweet. They know your motives. I want to bone you now. Yeah.

You know his motives. I swear to God. Oh, you do? Yes. Oh, dude. I'll leave. Do you want to join? I mean, I'll watch.

Whatever. Chris, you're getting in. What are we? You're getting in. You were at that concert, huh? You're getting in too, Aaron. Dude, Aaron. Aaron, you know you're in. Aaron's in that concert, huh? You're getting in too, Aaron. Dude, Aaron. Aaron, you know you're in.

Aaron's in. Aaron's been jonesing. First concert. And we're getting in and out afterwards. Dude, Aaron doesn't like in and out. Yeah. Sex? No, the...

Yeah. The food. No, he loves sex. The burgers. Oh. Yeah. I like in and out. Nice, dude.

You ever try the chili spot up the street we We were talking about where you're at the car. Dude looks rank. 1900s. Pre-In-N-Out. My kids just had islands for their first time, and they put islands up there with In-N-Out. I disagreed, but In-N-Out. Do you go in protein style?

Double, double protein style. We get Flying Dutchman, which is two patties, two slices of cheese in between. That's it. No lettuce. No lettuce. What do you eat? You just eat it with the paper wrapper? Fork and knife.

Damn, you guys are, jeez. Yeah, they don't have the best serving presentation for it. And people get freaked out. Yeah, people get scared. So you say Flying Dutchman at the window. Give me three Flying Dutchman. That's six patties. Yep.

Tight. That's the standard. I only get one slice of cheese between it. So, wow. And it comes in where they serve the fries in that little cardboard thing? Or does it come in the wrapper? It comes in the cardboard box that they give you when you get like a couple burgers. Yeah.

Yeah. But what do they put it on or in? It's just like on wrapper. In the normal burger wrapper. In the box. Yeah. Wow. My brother and I,

we went on a road trip from New Orleans to Santa Fe. We ordered 20 Flying Dutchmen for the trip. That's all we needed. Wow. Protein. Here we go. Chad and JT, I am a freshman in high school in Connecticut.

I'm usually pretty stoked, but recently I've been struggling to stay this way. Our class president has always been an absolute schmole. The only reason he got elected was because the other candidate was even more of a schmole. Recently, our class president was caught by another student on his knees in a school bathroom giving a sophomore some sloppy. There's even video filmed where you could see both of their legs in the bathroom I thought it was super funny So I posted on snapchat calling him gay Bill Clinton because he was class president

Somehow he found out and told administrators and I got four days off in school suspension All he got was a warning for sucking off another student in school the punishment for abusive language is a Saturday detention But the principal didn't think it was severe enough I usually get my stoke up by snowboarding or mountain biking, but it's too warm for snowboarding and my bike is in the shop also i can't go sir what else would you guys do to stay stoked during these trying times um i don't think i don't think he deserves to be stoked after doing something so lame yeah i would reflect on who you are uh these days and really ask myself, is this the kind of person I want to be?

It's not cool. Yeah, you don't want to, don't post anything on the internet like that. They're having a good time in the bathroom, you know? Just go in there. Maybe that's where you get your stoke. You're like, yes, they're having fun. That's rad.

I'm out. I'm going to leave them to it. Keep it to yourself. It's their business. Put yourself in in their shoes if he was doing that act would he want to blast it on the internet yeah you're kind of an asshole period huge

but people change I was too I did cruel things that I'm not proud of when I was in high school but this is tough love but the people in my life let me know and you need to know that I'm not proud of when I was in high school. But this is tough love. But yeah, but- You're gonna be a better person. But the people in my life let me know.

And you need to know. Advice, you're an asshole, period. Yeah. You know, some people pay a lot of money for that kind of advice. You're welcome, that was free. Or is this a Patreon thing? No, no.

Yeah, and the president of your school sounds like a badass. This is a manscape thing. I like the president of your school sounds like a badass. This is a manscape thing. I like the president. So that dude's a G for even getting to that level. Yeah. He's got game. Last question.

Sup, Chad and JT and Strider. No Strider today, but we got Mr. Cote. I had an epiphany. I remember learning in college that nitrous oxide is an important ingredient in Viagra. Isn't nitrous oxide the same as Nas? Therefore, in Fast and Furious, when they hit the Nas button, in a sense, they're giving their cars boners and letting them move forward with a full knob. I sure hope this is the case.

It would make me appreciate that movie even more. Yeah. I mean, nailed it. Nitrous oxide is the life force of everything fast and bone worthy. I, like I said earlier, I don't drink. But I'll tell you, if there's a nitrous tank around, especially at the dentist, I'll pay extra. I've had some of my best trips ever at the dentist. Just get quick.

Listen to me. Next time you go to the dentist for something big, headphones, some jazz, some kind of space rock or something. Do they still do it? Yes. You have to ask for it. It's like a plastic straw. You got to ask for it. They're not just going to offer it up.

I didn't know it was still available. It does feel like little miniature gnomes are inside tickling your face from the inside well you hear you hear songs and you listen to a song one way and then you hear it on nitrous and it's a whole new world you you can you're like in the song dude i'm not a big fan of dubstep but i listen to dubstep on nitrous oh yeah i felt like the room was coming seriously it was awesome but stick away from like recreational. Yeah. And when people are doing it like with like WD 40 and stuff,

you're like, well, that's when you're at the dentist. Yeah. Just that's huffing. Right. Different thing. Yeah.

Okay. Sorry. My bad. Well, no, I mean, I don't do, I don't do that.

Like, like, like, uh, what are they doing in Mad Max? They spray paint on their face. Yeah. With the chrome stuff?

Yeah. Don't do that. Dude, that's a great movie. I mean, just the level of detail in that movie is phenomenal. I just watched it on a plane two weeks ago. And they go back to where they started at the end. They go full circle. I hope there's another one soon.

Dude, we have one. God made the element nitrous oxide. He's like, this is going to give people boners and make them go fast. Right. But be careful with it. This is the badass element. Have you guys ever actually been in a nitrous-powered car? No.

Have you? No. Oh. My plan, I'm just putting this out there. When I have the money to do so, I will buy a full-on replica of Paul Walker walker's toyota supra from fast and furious one that's beautiful maybe put nas in there but it looks scary i'd love a ride in it so we'll hit the pch on it it's a valve with the i'm trying to picture fast and the furious which congratulations

guys i saw the next iteration coming yeah forgot the tune lee and shaw shaw yeah hobs and shaw hobs and shaw yeah i mean i'm a mixed feeling i'm kind of not so i you know i'm sorry i mean i kind of touched a nerve but it's just like are we even the fast and the furious anymore like when you lose so many parts when it's all new parts how can you still call it the same thing it's kind of like you know you ever get suckered into buying those albums like Wu-Tang Presents? Yeah. Wu-Tang Presents, da-da-da.

And you look at, oh, I need that Wu-Tang thing. No Ghostface, no RZA, no Method Man. There's no Method Man on this. So maybe that's... I'll be stoked on Hobbs and Shaw. Enter the fake chamber. If it's like Hobbs and Shaw get an apartment together in Echo Park and open a garage. Yeah.

I'd watch that. Let's bring it down. Simplify it a little bit. Yeah. It's gone too far. Yeah. They open a garage and then Hobbs has to win a race. That's the plot.

Elba's body is like a transformer. He's like half motorcycle or something. I don't know. Yeah. God damn it. Idris. Let's just bring it back to converse and basic one guy with nice blonde hair the other guy with a bald head you know they were mia toretto yeah slightly exotic japanese import cars with just you know they're lowered a little bit they got rims

spoiler nitrous. No flying. And we're going from the CIA back down to local PD. Yeah, right? Yeah. Outlaw street racing, right? Let's go back to where it started, where things really mattered. Yeah. Pinks.

Racing for pinks. Not racing for nuclear codes. One of my favorite lines. Kids giving me attitude? Doesn't really look good for FBI-LAPD relations, Tanner. Well said. Tight. All right.

Good inflection, too. Thank you. Mr. Cote Duda. I think. Duda. Mr. Cote Duda. It's just Mr. Cote. Thank you.

I think it was a pleasure to have you here. Thank you so much. All right. You guys want to. You're a pleasure to have you here. Thank you so much. You're the best, dude. That was really great, man. Do you want to be the first people in the world besides my girlfriend to hear a brief, very brief

snippet of Chris Cote solo? Dude, please. Aaron, will you let us know afterwards if it's better than Blink? Yeah. This is brand new, so we all know what's happened to Blink and what they've become. They are the Shaw and Hobbs of music.

Do you not support this new iteration with the Avenged Sevenfold guy or whoever? I don't support it. Or Apple Entry. Let's just put it this way. I'm on Team skiba for personal reasons uh and do you think the world is we've all matured and evolved do you think tom delong was the driving creative force of blink um you saw up close right yeah yes and no you know i think it was it was a formula i don't you know i think uh

i don't know i'm kind of i'm kind of done you know i've moved past a blink the nostalgia's worn off and i don't want to be a hater but i feel you but i feel some so yeah some something there there's something there you feel something about well let's just and i can leave you guys with this is um how do i how do i put this let it rip i'm on team skiba what does that mean i'm sorry i'm a fan of team skiba because what's team skiba team skiba he replaced the other singer of Blink. Oh, okay. So, I'm not a fan of the other singer. Oh. Tom DeLonge.

No, Mark. Yeah. No, Mark's... Oh, Tom DeLonge. My bad. But, whatever. That's, you know, I don't want to leave it on a nag note. No, it's not. I think it's inherently interesting, though. Do you guys like the devil's brass penis? The saxophone. Oh, okay. I didn't know what you're talking about but i just want to yes i do i know do you guys like the devil's

brass penis yeah for sure you like the movie romancing the stone are you kidding me i'm a huge zemeckis fan and i love and that's in columbia my mom's columbian yeah this uh do you like the song careless whisper yeah of course yeah, of course. Yeah. Chris Isaacs? George Michaels? Yes. Sorry. No. Aaron just gives this no.

No. So this song is... What's that Chris Isaacs' Wicked Game? Wicked Game. Dude, underrated. So good. Whoa, dude. I love this guy back here.

Why do you keep him over there? He should be right here with me. That's a good call. The Stokers are calling for it. They want Aaron in for the floor. More Aaron, huh? I'm with them. I'm stoked on Aaron.

Yeah, he's a beast. Well, here it is. This song is called Romancing the Stone. It's going to be out iTunes, Spotify, SoundCloud, wherever you get your music in a couple weeks. Sweet. I already have my review loaded up. All right.

Because I got a couple weeks. Sweet. I already have my review loaded up. All right. Because I got a good line. If you like romance, I know you guys do. I play everything on this except for sax. Dude, I'm getting kind of a Frank Ocean vibe. Talk is cheap. Drugs are inexpensive. Dude, I'm getting kind of a Frank Ocean vibe. Oh, mama. That's what's... Oh, dude. Sensuality. Like you rock music, as soft as your t-shirt, your dress is hypo-bent, your body is sticking to the inside of your underside.

Yeah, you burnt yourself again. Who do you model your singing on? Nobody told me I could sing. New order? Nobody told me I couldn't sing. That's a professional saxophone player He's coming hot So I love Yacht Rock That's my goal

Yacht Rock, some Vista Pop That's what I'm going for I love it You played this before Blank 22 That's what I'm going for. I love it. If you played this before Blank 22, the whole crowd would have been phoning, right? Yeah. Maybe it'll happen. It's a sway, dude. Just a collective sway it would have inspired.

An orgy pile. So I did have this challenge when I was dating gals to dance with me to careless whisper without laughing because I don't find that sound ironic at all I just love it so I don't believe in liking things this is where I really start to blow below. Where we both can agree that romance in the stone is the greatest of moving. A cinematic achievement. This line's for you guys.

Especially what Jack T. Coulton says. Especially what what? All that the Duby brothers broke up. I got two trains running straight to my heart. So in the film, when they find the airplane, right, with the drugs? Yeah. So I was watching it with my current girlfriend. I'm like, get ready. Best line in this movie is coming up.

I'm like half hour away from that line. They're in this plane, and Jack T t colton finds a old rolling stone magazine and he says out of nowhere oh man the doobie brothers broke up hilarious yeah so that's the you guys got a night you guys got two minutes 25 seconds dude that was of a two uh three minute 15 seconds song that's a big leak i love that dude leak dude. Dude, leak. Dude, I gotta say, my review of that song is it's not a diamond. It's an emerald. Wow. Thank you.

Because in Romance in the Stone. Corazon. Yeah. El Corazon. My review, Romance in the Stone, got me aching the bone. Nice. Wow, you guys make me feel good. Hey, you deserve it, man.

You made us feel good. This was such a treat having you on. Yeah, dude, you're the best, man. Yeah. Good to see you thank you for all of you guys the wisdom and energy thank you i mean next song's gonna be about you too three yeah i'm sorry you three yeah get aaron on there aaron's in i'll be i'll be listening to you at the oi rio pro aaron where'd you land on the song um it's much better than 20 years ago.

Hey. We've both matured. Thank you. And I like it. Nice, dude. I like it. Positive. It's aged well.

Bye, guys. Great to see you. See you out there. See you on the 5 South. Yeah. Or the Chili Spot. Whatever comes first. Whatever works.

Oh, hey, we'll bring you some Dutchman. Yes. Thank you, dude. Oh, hey, we'll bring you some Dutchman. Yes. Thank you, dude. Oh, man. That's it? Yes? That's how it ends? We keep going.

We have a little tidbit to do. Oh, yeah. Dude, such a pleasure, man. Thank you. I'm stoked to do it. Yeah, that was awesome. That was so fun. Great to see you.

No doubt. Where should we tell everybody to follow you at? Just at Chris Cote. At Chris Cote. And dude, also we got to thank him for... That's so crazy you're at that show. Chris said Jabow on one of the surf broadcasts. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he dropped Jabow. I believe it was at... Crazy. Yeah. Nice to meet you. Chris, what tournament did you say Jabou at? U.S. Open?

Yeah, it was Kolohe and Dino. He was like, you got Jabou by the lip. That was in Brazil last year. Oh, yeah, it was around this time. That was when Jabou first came out. Yeah. Thank you for helping spreading the stoke on Jabou. I'm stoked on Jabou. safe drive what a great guy dude okay

yeah that is crazy that was your first concert wow what a cool life he has i mean he's really cultivated a career out of his passions yeah and he's touched like so much different stuff yeah yeah so cool yeah very very impressive very inspiring chad who is your beef of the week my beef of the week you probably were expecting it i gotta touch on it tom cruise and justin bieber oh dude jay beebsbs calling out TC dude Biebs look dude my dog um I loved Purpose okay I'm not trying to hate on you you know like that brought me some solid jams and it really I think you dance well I think you you know what you're doing I think you got massive talent and I think you're a beast in that Cold Water's a hit um that other spanish song um and you're also married to a babe so i

gotta acknowledge that but i can't let you just call out my man tom like that i mean this dude tom cruise rock climbs he does stunts he has great hair he smiles he's been entertaining america for over 30 years 40 maybe maybe. Yeah, 1980. He brought us Mission Impossible. Just all kinds of dank stuff. I mean, this guy is just a beast. He rides motorcycles. He works out.

He does everything, okay, Biebs? And I can't let you call him out. If you go into the ring with Tom Cruise, you will get smashed, okay? And I will be there clapping because Tom Cruise is a hero of America. Nice, dude. Sorry for the aggro. No, please, man.

I mean, you're defending your boy. What are your thoughts on it, dude? Dude, I think one of the most interesting aspects about it is that it's kind of an ideological clash where it's like Bieber's big unto like the LA Christianity, like the Hillside Church or whatever. And then Tom is obviously big in Scientology. So if I was marketing the fight, if I was coordinating the fight,

which I used to like to do in high school, I would definitely set it up as like the Scientologist versus the Christians and let's see who's going to win in this throwdown. Yeah. That's a good one, dude. Yeah. And I mean, in terms of like, do I want to see them fight? Absolutely.

Do I want to see either of them get hurt absolutely not yeah i just want to see a good fair contest with some hopefully you know proficient skills it would be an epic event for sure but i can't doubt for a second my dog tom what if they wanted us to commentate with cote oh i that'd be amazing it'd be amazing it'd be biased yeah for on my end my end. Tom's winning. Tom's winning. Bieber lands a soft punch. Cruz is dead. Bieber comes in looking kind of slow tonight.

There's a lot of bias in fight calling. People get called out. Yeah. Dude, my beef. Here's your beef. My beef of the week relates to fighting as well. It's with Indy. So I grew up doing karate at the Martial Arts Academy with Sensei John.

I was a good student, although I was a little bit talkative. But Indy was kind of my rival in the school tournaments. We'd throw tournaments down like once a month, and you'd fight kids in your age bracket, weight class, skill level. And Indy really wanted to be the best. And his dad also did karate there and he really wanted Indy to be the best. But for a stretch there, I was just wailing on him. We'd spar and I'd just take it to him.

And I'd always get the first place trophy and Indy would always leave kind of pissed off and most of the time crying. And I remember one time it was like the fourth tournament in a row where this had happened. And Indy's dad picked him up and Indy was crying. And I remember one time it was like the fourth tournament in a row where this had happened. And Indy's dad picked him up and Indy was crying. And I took my first place trophy and I went up to Indy and I was like, hey, dude, if you want it, just take it, man. It's not a big deal. And then his dad looked at me and went, hey, get away from us. And I went, whoa. And I turned to the rest of the parents and I was like, oh, my God. I mean, it's just a trophy. Like, why do we even want this trophy if it means we can't be friends like come on but the truth is I knew Indy and his dad would react that

way so I kind of set them up to make them look evil and um yeah that was a sadistic thing to do as a eight or nine year old but uh at the same time Indy's dad should have seen it coming all the parents were like GT's a really sweet kid. He doesn't even want the trophy. I was like, I don't. I was like, I just want everyone to get along. I don't want to win. But in truth, I wanted to win in every way possible. Yeah.

I respect the... The mind games. Yeah. All right, so that's my Beef of the Week. Chad, who is your Babe of the Week? My Babe of the Week is just my GF, Caroline. Beautiful, man. I just love her GF, Caroline. Beautiful, man. I just love her. Nice, dude.

That's it. Oh, nice, dude. Yeah. What about you? My babe of the week is This American Life. It's a podcast and radio program on NPR. I've been listening to it on and off for years, and I just think they're the best at storytelling.

They do, like, narrative journalism, and it's always surprising and funny and poignant. of my favorites are all walls must come down about a dad who uh wiretapped his son's phone another one about a cop who was attracted to a hot lady so he told her he could get a squirrel out of her attic and it went horribly wrong and then they do just good straight up investigative journalism like like about the financial crash in 2008, giant pile of money. Or most recently they had one about Alex Jones. That was the most interesting piece I've heard or read about Alex Jones. It got into like his teenage years and kind of how he developed this personality that he now makes money out of. And like, it just told really interesting anecdotes from them from then, but then it

contextualized it in like the current political moment and i just thought it was interesting and just really distills things down in a way that's fascinating and all credit to the guy who runs it ira glass you know he's known for his kind of uh high-pitched nasally voice but the dude is a beast so yeah this american life's my babe of the week nice who's your legend of the week uh my legend of the week is system of a down nice dude uh when i was first introduced to metal my first intro band was system of a down my brother and i were going to see star wars revenge of of the Sith where George Lucas unfortunately had to burn off Hidden Christensen's flow which was tough but what brought me back to life was hearing BYOB

from System of a Down and I was just like yes yes yes uh they just uh they just have good songs you know um revengo toxicity all kinds of stuff it was a good intro into the metal world and um i just think they're a cool band so you gotta check them out if you want to do some headbangers no one else sounds like them no one else yeah what's the song they do where it's just pizza toppings oh i don't know have you heard that one ernie know that one pepperoni salami mozzarella cheese i don't know yeah system moving down um all right dude my legend of the week is um i think he's a two-time receiver of this now it's my dad uh tommy p he got some hard news about his uh ongoing battle with a pancreatic cancer, but he's looking into new treatments and he's going to keep fighting. And it just always makes me reflect

on how blessed I am to have him as my dad. So I wanted to tell some funny things about him, like his propensity for using the phrase, whoa. We we would do some like ATVing and snowmobiling. And at the end of the day, you'd have to drive it up a ramp and land it on like the trailer. And my dad wasn't the best at it, but he never let that stop him from doing it. And everybody would be like, hey, Tommy, you want to let me just do that real quick?

He'd go, I got it, I got it. The next thing you know, he launches into the air off the ramp and he's like, whoa! And you're just along for the ride. Also, when we drive through patches of wilderness my dad loves to spawn animals and he'd just be sitting there and he'd go is that is that an elk you see an elk out there we'd be like oh he's on the road he's like that's an elk and then you'd look and there's like a beautiful elk and then he'd go eagle eye he always named himself eagle eye he's great with nicknames he's always been

great with nicknames he'd call my mom Turbo and Porkchop. Nicknamed his friend Scotty, Scotty Waddy Doodah. And then he called any one of his friends if they ever put on any weight, Fat Boy. Friend would come over and just go, hey, Fat Boy. What's up, Fat Boy? That's awesome. My buddy Robert comes back from college. My dad goes, damn, Robert, what'd you do?

Put on 15 pounds? Just very matter of fact. He had one friend, Jimmy, who was like a serial dater dated a lot of women and i didn't even know what he was doing at the time but when when he came over with the girlfriend one time i was like five and my dad goes hey go up to jimmy and uh ask him why he's a woman's worst nightmare so i go up to jimmy in front of his new girlfriend i'm like jimmy why are you a woman's worst nightmare and he just gets scared as fuck. He's like, huh? And the girl's like, huh?

And my dad's just like, hey. And then. Hey, fat boy. Yeah. And then on the better side of things, although those things are pretty great. He's just the sweetest guy. Like he's tough. And, you know, he's this like big footprint, you living, business, entrepreneur, dude. But I remember we were doing a speech when we were doing our second Paul Walker speech.

It's when the whole Charlottesville thing happened. And I was just watching the Vice video of it in the bathtub. And I just started crying. And me and my dad don't even have the same politics. But I was crying. And then my dad called me. And he's like, how you doing? I was like, Dad, I'm kind of freaking i my dad called me and he's like how you doing i was like dad i'm kind of like freaking out and i was embarrassed i called him and i was like i'm like i'm freaking out like i don't know what to do like

i don't know i feel like i should do something and i'm like i mean this stuff is so scary it's so horrible and i expected him and sometimes he would do he'd go calm down calm down but i said all that and then he just goes he's like hey jt i think your heart's in the right place and he basically just like like, let me cry. And, yeah, it just means a lot to me that he could be such a tough dude, but he also had these moments of incredible sensitivity. So he's going to take all that into the next part of this thing. And, yeah, I'm just still stoked that I get to kick it with him. So love you, Dad. He's a fighter and a beast.

Yeah. Yeah, so Chad, who is your quote of the week? My quote of the week is from Alan Watts. Beast. So he goes, underneath everything that

goes on in this world, the fundamental thing is a state of unbelievable bliss why not why else would there be anything happening because if the game isn't worth the candle if the universe is basically nothing but a tormented struggle why have one hasn't it ever struck you that it would be much simpler not to have any existence it would require no effort there would be problems. So why is there anything going on? Because it's all fundamentally a drag. I just don't see any reason for its being. Because it's all fundamentally a drag,

I just don't see any reason for its being. Everything would have committed suicide long ago. Whoa, that's deep, dude. Yeah. It's basically a very optimistic view on the universe. Yeah. It's not like a, you know. know i and you know who knows what's going on but i choose to believe in the most optimistic thing because why not yeah i love that

he's a beast check him out stokers if you're ever feeling down put on some alan watts and you'll feel good yeah take a nap to alan watts um my quote of the week is from the book uh barbarians at the gates it's about a a leveraged buyout in the 80s of rjr nabisco i think it was a big uh cigarette and uh uh like food treats company and the guy who's running the company is this guy ross johnson and he's not even like a great business person. He's just great at business relationships. So he just keeps like schmoozing his way up to bigger and bigger heights in the business world. And he ends up being the CEO of this huge company. But at one point he's, they're having like a bad quarter and they're not making money. And all the, all the shareholders and chairman of the board sit them down and they go, Ross, what the hell's going on

here? And he just looks at him and he goes, guys ever uh tried to steer a boat when you're water skiing behind it and then they all just laughed and then they moved on i mean this dude is as slick as it gets and i just love that kind of uh ability to to word shift your way out of a problem yeah yeah that's awesome yeah well that's that's everything i think sweet that was a fun episode that was fun well how was the mod show you went to last night that was fun yeah it was cool yeah i haven't watched sketching live in a long time so it was cool to see and it was sort of um inspiring nice yeah um yeah i think how was the concert the concert was good the guy could really belt lewis capaldi yeah um some of his like mic work in between i thought i wasn't crazy about like stuff he said yeah like him talking and stuff it's also like cutesy and like the jokes

are kind of lame but dude he can freaking belt it got me but the thing i was most jacked on is um i only knew a couple songs but i really like them but then i would turn to my right and there was a bunch of young dudes like 1920 just sitting there singing with their whole heart and like so genuinely into it and it was such a nice group of guys when i left the concert afterwards there's two girls behind me they're like i love those boys who are nice to next to us they were nice and respectful and just there to enjoy the music they're gonna go far in life and i I was like, hell yeah, man. It's a good group of folks at the concert. I think it's important to see live performance art. Dude, I agree.

Like seeing like Sketch or especially going to a concert. I mean, it's always inspiring. It's inspiring to see people like doing that kind of stuff. Trying stuff. Especially at a high level. Yeah, taking risks, getting out on stage. It's amazing. The high level thing is something too.

Like when you're watching something, you're like, this is a brilliant performer. It's like what Chris was saying about guys at Pipeline or whatever, you know, like watching guys surf at Pipeline. When you watch that on a video, you're like, oh, it was a cool barrel. You know, but when you see stuff like that in person,

you see like high level surfing in person, it's like unbelievable. Yeah, dude, I think it it's i was watching him belt a song that was like about heartache and i was like oh this is like this song makes life complete like life always has like holes in it or you're always like am i making the right choice and stuff and then when you listen to a song like that and the guy belts it with his whole heart you're like oh life's complete for a minute. Yeah. Yeah. It like fills in the gaps. Yeah. Yeah, live art is live stand-up too.

Yeah. It's see someone take control of a crowd like that. There's just something magical about it. And yeah, and it loses something when they put it on like Netflix or something. Yeah. Go ahead. Well, like watching Burr or Rogan or D'Elia or Verde or whoever, or Chappelle.

Like when you see them live, there's a different quality to it. Yeah. I think that's why we're most protective of footage of our stand-up. Yeah. Not that we even film it. Have you ever filmed? I've filmed a few sets, but from like years ago. I record them all. Oh, yeah.

I record them, but like. No, but I don't plan on putting it out for a while. Yeah. Until it's like exactly what I'm trying to say and also like 45 minutes i'm gonna put out like 20 i'm gonna put out 15 yeah yeah exactly modest because like you know it's hard to keep someone's attention for 45 minutes and it's like why you know just i think 20 is like you just put out the bangers that's it i can't pay attention to anything anymore. No. I'm out after a minute.

It took me five days to watch the first episode of Big Little Lies. It's tough, dude. Yeah. I would just, I would just go on YouTube. I'd be like, what about this GoPro footage? Dude, YouTube's the fucking greatest, man. Yeah. But, dude, some of these people got to be careful.

I posted about Muhammad Ali, and I got so many messages from people saying that he was in the bag for the maj the islamic mafia which i had never heard of and his whole draft dodging thing was coordinated by him and so were every single one of his fights and one guy even went as far to say is like uh he never all those punches were fake i'm like watching the fights i'm like i'm pretty sure these are real punches yeah yeah it's gonna be hard to throw a fight that's a skill yeah oh to fake it yeah because sunny liston apparently did a bad job i think that fight may have been fixed yeah some dude wrote me just six paragraphs about how everything about muhammad ali was a lie and i just wrote back i don't know man he said don't come to philly and mention ali you'll get punched really i was like what

we'll have to ask jack about that i thought everybody liked muhammad ali but then but then my girlfriend had brought him up to her she's like i don't like him he was like a bad husband and he like he like hit his wife and so i was like i don't know about that either but that's actually that seems plausible and bad hmm yeah all this There's a dark side to everyone. Yeah. Well said. All right. Should we end on a more upbeat note? We got a show tonight at the improv. Oh yeah.

We got locals only. Yeah. We got a show at the improv tonight. Locals only. This will come out after. So it'll be a good show. Let's have some fun. Yeah.

I don't know. I need new material. No, you're a beast, man. You just wrote a chapter in the book already. You're doing so much stuff. I know.

We're kind of stretching it a little thin. But, yeah, I'm just – because I don't know if there's going to be repeat people there. Right, right. We want to give them new material. For sure, for sure. It's tough, man. Yeah. All right, guys.

Oh, and also we're brought to you by Danny Babona at UCI Baseball. They should call it UC Newport Beach because it's right there. I haven't plugged him in a while because, to be totally honest, he's against a rule in fantasy football that I support regarding the sale of auction players for the following season. And Danny, you know, ideologically I couldn't be more far away from you, but as a baseball coach and as a father and as a mentor, I know you're one of the best in the business, so I still plug UCI uci baseball if you're a young buckaroo with a good swing and a strong arm

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of what feels good and what works. Hell yeah. All right, guys, thanks for tuning in for episode 75. You can catch Chris Cote at ChrisCote, C-O-T-E, on Instagram. Check him out. He didn't finish his blue drink, but I still love you, Chris. That was fun. Yeah, that was great.

He was great. Yeah. If you need advice These guys are really nice. You want to know what to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, just a half a road beside you. Go and see. Go and see. I'll see you next time.