Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 81 - Strider and Uncle Joe Join, Tardiness, Bees

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

What up stokers, in this episode of Going Deep, the four horsemen of chillpocalypse discuss Joe being late, bees, and what it means to be a man. Tune in, stoke naysh! Check out our t-shirts at www.chadgoesdeep.com

what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad and jt podcast coming at you hard with episode i believe it's 81 um i never know the exact number but we're in that vicinity guys i'm here with my compadre john thomas what up what up stokers boom clap and we are joined by the squad today strider wilson and joe maurice the dogs what up what up yeah what's up the four horsemen of the chillpocalypse oh dude i love stokepocalypse great to be here today and i come in plus aaron my dog aaron what up what up what up dude and i come in bearing fruits for myself this is a flying dutchman i'm gonna eat it dang dude chasing that down with some blue drink dude love that dude where's how about some

ketchup you know yeah i think you know i mean i respect the meat and cheese on the flying dutchman but you got to get a little tomato and onion on there for me to fully it's got to be a little bit of moisture happening yeah yeah we're just talking dry mouth i just want the bare bones baby protein i respect it yeah yeah because you're not sullying it with any kind of sugar or anything like that. But I wouldn't chew too close to the mic for the non-ASMR crowd. Ooh, dude. How about a nice big raw onion on top of that, a little crunch?

Correct. I need that crunch. Yeah, you can hear it. That good flavor on that tomato, dude. Lean back. So down. I mean, if nothing else, there should be a little ketchup cup thing where you're at least dipping that.

Well, let's talk about the real issue. You're consistently late to the podcast. No, I'm not. I was on time last time. It took 40 minutes to get here. That's a significant amount of time. I want to have Joe's back on this, but Joe seems like the type

of bro to me i feel like you would have a code about timeliness where like you know like joey feels like he'd be one of the dudes who's like if you're not 10 minutes early you're late like i would never want to be late to an event that you were hosting can we do this at our house then i won't be late the conversation or the or the podcast no probably not okay well aaron could you set this up at our at our apartment yeah um i can't do it and i won't do it for sure um yeah but if it would have taken a half hour, which I had planned it to take, I would have been here right on time.

But there's only one way to get here through Hollywood, which is very annoying. There's a couple different routes. Because of these stupid mountains. Yeah, why don't you put in ways to see the estimated arrival? There's no way. I don't need ways. I know how to get here. Well, you obviously need it because you're late a lot.

I don't want to use up my battery. I forgot my phone. What do you mean there's one way? There's like a million roads here. Yeah, there are different roads. No, there's not. Not to get from Hollywood to Burbank. You got the canyon. You got... No, I'm not... Highland. No, that's it. You can take Highland. You can take Beverly. You can take Santa Monica.

You can take Sunset. There's literally a million different ways to get here. No, there's not. There's one way through Hollywood to Burbank. Hollywood has a lot of different streets. Past the Hollywood Bowl. There's different ways to get to that point. You can get to Mulholland.

Yeah. You can take Barham or you can take the 101. I'm not going to zigzag around hills for too long. Plus, I have a Prius C. I'm not driving up. You got a lot of I'm not gunnas. Listen, if you drive up the hills in my bullshit car that I have,

it wears down the tires. I have tires like a freaking big wheel. They're bad tires. Yeah, you're... Not to be disrespectful, but your car does not match your dong. Yeah, that's true. I disagree. I think the Prius is a big dong

car. That's because you have one yeah well i got it because i think that yeah well i have a prius c when i when i have to be somewhere i put the navigation in like an hour before so i'm like all right how much time do i have do i have time to manscape well i also didn't get up to 11 45 for whatever reason what'd you guys think about batista the uh the wrestler he was on um he was doing an, and they asked him if he'd do any of the Fast and Furious movies, and he said, no, I only want to be in good movies. Whoa. Dude.

I didn't hear that. And then the movie he was in, Stuber, or whatever the name was, with Kumail Nanjiani, it bombed. Oh, really? Yeah. I saw that review. It said, Stuber's stupid. Yeah, hilarious. It's supposed to be the funniest movie of the

summer when nick lachey made his first album after breaking up with jessica simpson he wasn't sure on what to call the album and the uh and they filmed like a behind the scenes special about it and uh he wanted they wanted to call it what's left of me and he was like super prepared for critics he was like but what if critics listen to and they're like what's left of nick lachey not much and then his management team was like don't think like that man what him and they're like, what's left of Nick Lachey? Not much. And then his management team was like, don't think like that, man. What did he end up naming it? What's Left of Me. Oh, he did?

Yeah, the other name wasn't as good. Yeah. Hilarious. Bullies, dude. Yeah, he should have come out firing like, I'm ten times better now or something. Doing way better now. Full Nick. Yeah.

Here's Full Nick. Not sad about Jessica is the name of the album. Yeah. 99 degrees, dude. Hell yeah. And then he had Vanessa Milano in the video with him and then they ended up

getting married. Oh, yeah. Do I remember that? Are they still married? Vanessa Milano. That's not somebody. That's not her name, no. It's something close to that.

Not the girl from Sopranos. Is that the girl? No, she was like a VJ for MTV. Oh, yeah. VJs, dude. Video jockey. Remember VJs?

Yeah. I wanted that job so bad. Vanessa Menil? Yeah, something like that. No, you're thinking Maria Menounos. She's hot. I think she does right. Oh, really?

I think it's Manilo or something. Yeah. What is it? But it's a V first name, right? Yeah. He should have said it sooner, though. Yeah, her last name's Manilo. Aaron, he should have said it sooner.

He was too late saying it, dude, so I don't know if we could believe him good call should have been on time with it timing is everything right into the mic i will clear my throat in the mic do you remember the vj jesse he won the vj yeah jesse cam and dave holmes i've seen dave holmes comes to the comedy store or i think he does or he did stand up at some point carson daly too was that how he got started who carson daly yeah he was mtv tro yeah he was the best total request live yeah he was the coolest of the cool where's he at now like nbc he's oh good morning america that's right. He's a survivor, man.

That guy gets show after show. Late Night with Carson Daly was on for like 10 years. Right, yeah. Because I don't think it's a tough time slot. You're on at 1.30 in the morning. You have to get, what, like five people to watch it. True. You got to talk about aliens, dude, that time of the day.

People love aliens after midnight, dude. Alien talk, dude. Yeah. If you're with a lady after midnight, I don't know. What's this girl's name julie joe you call up julie did you start talking aliens after midnight dude she's gonna start liking that dude if you call her just yeah that's not yeah yeah whoa did you see that light i just saw a shooting star what's beyond that aliens yeah she's into that stuff too she's like a hardcore conspiracy theorist right yeah yeah if you text her that you know midnight just saw a ufo yeah dude tom delong blink 182 he's into ufos dan ackroyd's into ufos is he two dudes that i like

into ufos yeah and those are the people who are out about it. Yeah. Yeah, who knows who how many you know secret alien fans there are I mean, dude, I feel like people should be open about being interested by it. Let's run with being interested by aliens, dude Yeah, right. What's the X-Files saying? We're not alone. There's something out there. Yeah, right It shouldn't be taboo. The truth is out there. The truth is out there. Aaron, dude, it's so nice having a fact checker in the moment, dog. Aaron's dropping truth bombs over there, dude. You are slapping the truth on me. The truth is out there. And I'm not going to turn the other cheek. Tell that to Sam Tripoli.

I used to get... Tell that to Sam Tripoli. Yeah. Dude, so Brad Pitt, apparently he's slowing down on acting. He says it's a young man's game. He's going to get more into beekeeping. Beekeeping's like the rage right now.

Did he have a plan? Did he say what his plan is? For the bees? Mm-hmm. No. I had a priest in high school, Father Vincent. He was my religion teacher. He once said in front of the class, he's like,

guys, it's not fair to sell semen because they're against in vitro fertilization the catholics and he was like he's like like we're putting a price tag on semen like jt your semen would probably be worth a lot of money no way did he said yeah that's awesome i know i was like yeah baby how psyched were you yeah father v thank you he was my dude so i really appreciate it but he had a beehive and dude i once saw him go up to a bee he's like this bee is tired we went back to his like uh parish where there was the norbertine priest and he had a he had a casket in his room because he was looking forward to death and he had a bee that he saw a bee that was tired he goes this bee's tired and he put a drop of coke on his finger and he fed the bee soda to give it a little sugar spike oh i thought you meant the drug no no no no not cocaine that would have been hilarious

have a little bump have a bump a little bump. Have a bump. Have a little bump scare. That's what's best for the bees. And the bee just fucking started bobbing its head like this. That's what Brad Pitt's doing. Yeah. I'm going to give coke to these bees. I'm doing coke to the bees for the next year or two.

Dude, it's right up Coca-Cola. Dude, you know what they call a bee farm or place where they keep bees? Dude, that's a fact. Good jargon. You know what it's called? An apiary. Nice. I've never heard of that. Straight up, dude. Yeah. Read that, dude. Have you been stung by a bee? dude this is a fact good jargon you know what it's called an apiary nice i'll never hear that straight up dude yeah read that dude have you been stung by a bee yeah dude i've been stung by a bee

on my tongue me too fifth grade on your tongue as well you've been stung in your tongue also yeah because they get in your cans of pop or soda right yeah mine was at my fifth fifth year old birthday party did it get in your drink? On my Popsicle, dude. Oh, okay. Just posted up there staying chilly on my Popsicle. So you're mid-lick? And here's the worst part, dude. I deserved it.

Want to know why? Because my older brother's like, I was trying to, there's a bee on your Popsicle. And I didn't believe him because he was kind of a trickster, my older brother. And I look at him and I go, oh, yeah? And took a big old lick of it. it boom stung right on my tongue no yeah did you cry oh i cried i was like it was embarrassing dude honestly dude i think like uh i didn't have another birthday after that until i was like 18. were you guys able to eat with your

stung tongue i don't know well what happened with me was uh i was at a baseball picnic What happened with me was I was at a baseball picnic for our baseball team when I was younger. I was drinking a Hawaiian punch. Ooh, dang. Yeah. I thought there was like a little ice cube or something, but then my tongue started to hurt. Yeah, it got me twice in the tongue. It hit you twice? I thought they die with one sting.

Yeah, it got me. He was squirming around or something. But yeah, it spit it out. What's your guys' worst experience with an animal? thought they die with one stag i mean he was squirming around or something but yeah but yeah and spit it out what's your guys's worst experience with an animal my dog taz was neutered but he still liked to hump and one time he was humping me and all the guys said they saw him jizz on me nice yeah and i was really embarrassed i talked about on the pod and i told all the guys i went shut i was like nobody say a fucking word about this and then i go on to instant messenger and i read my friend ferraro's info and it says we all must be aware of taz's red rocket and i texted him i was like bro i told you to keep your

fucking mouth shut man i got i got facts on you bro all right this is a two-way street i was like take it out he was all about away message codes dude ferraro would be like and like you know i had a crush on like waymers five or like brown girl three four four two yeah and then you'd see his sign off and you know the whole time none of them like you know you'd wait to talk to you can't like if you saw waymers five sign on and it's a messenger you didn't just message her immediately you know what i mean and then uh you know she would leave and then after that like he would put a quote or something like that that was totally directed to her and i'd be like you fucker dude he had an inside joke with every girl i had a crush on yeah like he had a nickname like he'd be like what's up snuffle police i'd be like how

the fuck did you get that nickname yeah yeah i was like i can't find anything to relate to her yeah and you've got a whole freaking secret language. Snuffle police. Yeah. How's he doing with the ladies now? He's married. He's married, dude. Lovely lady.

Lovely wife. That we grew up with. Yeah. She's legit. They're a perfect match. He's a smart guy. He makes good life decisions. True.

Do they have offspring? Not yet, but they're going to get there. Good band. He's going to have a big one. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, the offspring.

Lead singer of that band was into aeronautical engineering and he has a bunch of planes. gonna have a big one yeah yeah dude the offspring lead singer of that band is like was in the aeronautical and no not yeah aeronautical engineering and he has a bunch of planes sick i heard he's flown a mig his name is dexter holland yeah i get another name wrong huh dang wow yeah good truth is right there dude dang yeah That's their best song Self esteem, number one Number two, The Kids Are Alright Dude, I remember being in like

Aaron I mean, I'm gonna agree with Kids Are Alright I love Gone Away Yeah, Gone Away is great I do not like Ob-La-Dee Ob-La-Da. Why don't you get a job? Gotta Get Away, Come Out and Play.

Those are two really good songs. What were you going to say, Aaron? Dexter is a molecular biologist. Damn. He has, from USC, a bachelor's, master's, and PhD. So you're saying he'd know exactly how much J.T. Seaman's worth. Yeah, he would. He also has a successful line of hot sauces.

Damn. He's a renaissance man. What's it called, the hot sauce? J.T. Seaman. Come on, Doug. You're nicer than Father Vincent. Teeing it up and knocking it down. That's what's up.

Turn up Cholula. Put that on my breakfast burrito. Gringo Bandito. Oh, yeah. I've heard of that. Yeah, I've seen that one. Joe logging into. Gringo Bandito. Oh, yeah. I've heard of that. Yeah, I've seen that one. Joe logging into Hinge mid-pod. Hey, that's not what I'm doing.

What are you doing? Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. Well, I just got a new match, and she sent him out. She's a babe. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, dude. This is exciting. Sarah, she looks good.

I mean, dude, you're hanging with the boys and checking matches, dude. I mean, I don't know if that's faux pas, dude. I mean, I've been GF for a long time now, so I don't know how that works with the crew, but that's chill. I think it's faux pas, although I do understand the impulse. You see that ding for the match. You've got to fly in there. Right.

It's exciting. Yeah, it can make your day. And it can make the rest of your life. True. It could change the whole course of your life. It could change everything. This person could be the one. She could know if the truth is out there.

She looks lovely. Yeah, what's the deal the deal dude give us the deets dude now i don't know i'll talk to her after whoa keep it for yourself yeah we're gonna circle back sometimes if you share something it takes away some of its mystique give her some time give her time to miss you i'm fired up for you well she messaged that's why i had to look nice oh what do you do you have a go-to first date spot do you have that the shelby yeah thanks for yeah whoa so it's like a surf spot you can't let anybody know no i think he's no i just uh yeah oh dang okay no but yeah that is a nice spot letting people know i know his but also you're allowed to say that because you got all of us blue drink yet you knew joe likes green drink and you still hooked him up with green drink.

Dude, you're so nice. Thank you, dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I noticed that, too. I noticed that shit. But yeah, that's the spot. We were at the Shelby last night playing some massive block Jenga. Yeah.

Nice. How about me at Jenga? You know what's great about me is, you know, bar games lose i don't lose at any of them did you beat me in shuffleboard yeah shuffleboard darts oh yeah jenga billiards maybe not that but because like i don't play sports anymore so i've channeled all my athleticism into these games when i'm out so now i'm unstoppable What are you best at? Like my friend who was a college quarterback, I just annihilated him at darts.

It was insane. It was a massacre. Just like wiped. Is that your best game, darts? It could be, yeah. What type of darts are we talking, dude? Cricket. Regular darts or straight up?

That's what's up up what does that mean oh that's like um going down oh yeah you call that darts yeah i call it darting dude all right only because it's one of the moves show them the tongue dart yeah this is the tongue dart honestly earlier i didn't what is that uh it just creates i would say, a little higher impact level. Definitely a surprise factor. And just straight up dankness. I think it's cool that people would hoard their techniques, but that you share them with the world. You want information to be free, and you want it to help as many people as possible.

Well, yeah. Why would I want GFs out there not to feel dank and and bfs not to know how to do they like that when you do that well i mean you know everyone's different everyone's different you have a girlfriend yeah but everyone's different so all i'm saying is that's a move you could try because that's just like a tiny dick and i thought they don't like well dude that's what i have you know some some like tiny dicks don't shame if it's wet i've got a small dong and so i need to i have it to have more of an arsenal. You know what I mean? If you're a jack dude, if you're a shack, you're a center,

you dunk, you post up low, even though he did develop that nice little hook, you've got a shack dick where you're just in the low block doing work. Me, I'm like a small guard, undersized guard, like Bibby or Muggsy Bogues or something out there, and I've got to make moves. It just posted up. Yeah, you've got to use fingers, toes, everything. i'm like tiny archibald thank you yeah yeah i'm like a pistol

pete marifitch real quick just posted up with the power forward dong yeah i'm down there banging on the block yeah playing booty ball big time dude randolph how many darts per sesh would you say mixes it up because i think this is what the Stokers need to know. I don't want them to crank their necks. All right. Yeah. That's honestly, dude, safety first for sure. Yeah.

Definitely stretch your necks. Definitely get like maybe a good yoga flow with Adrian. Me and my GF like to do that on YouTube, do yoga with Adrian, legit. And yeah, so definitely make sure your muscles are loose, ready to go. You know, do your neck moves neck moves you know do a little head circles and uh you know maybe do it do a little maybe turn on some offspring warm up with a warm up with a la la la la la do some head bobbing slayer yeah or some slayer i think that was lady gaga that you just did no way it will close dude, you're right. Sounded like bad romance. Rah, rah, rah, rah.

Yeah, that's what you just did. You think that song is an homage? I want your loving and I want your disease. All right, come on. You and me could start a bad romance. You think that song is an homage to the tongue dart? I mean, it could be. It could be.

I think that's the beauty of art. At least a line or two. She's channeling it through the beat. She's like, this beat is the tongue dart. Yeah. I was drunk at three in the morning with some friends trying to break down the lyrics to Brain Stew. Is that the song by Green Day? Yeah, it's a song.

Yeah. And they're like, what do you think this means? And we just went over it for like an hour. It was a real meeting of the minds. Do you guys see Aziz's new special? I didn't see it yet. What did you think? Joe, what did you think?

I didn't watch it. You watched a couple minutes with me. Yeah, I mean, I didn't watch it enough to have an opinion. The biggest thing for me is it made me want to go buy a Metallica shirt. I like the style. Yeah, that was... You had an opinion on that, though. Oh, hit me with it. Yeah, well, I don the style. Yeah, that was... You had an opinion on that, though. Oh, hit me with it.

Yeah, well, I don't know. I don't like wearing shirts with sayings when doing comedy. I don't like that. Well, you were also saying that he was wearing the... What was it? The Ride the Lightning? Yeah, it's also, like, the most popular metallic shirt. Yeah, it's like me wearing a Bruce Springsteen shirt that says, like,

born in the USA. It's like... So he's a poser? He might be. Dang. What's something that you judged one way, and you thought it would be one thing and then when you saw it it was another thing dude that's a great question dude i mean the sky with ufos well you know but it's early for that talk but um let's see what's something that's more tangible oh this question fires me up dude

my head's spinning right now trying to think of a dank answer yeah i'm trying to think too like what's something i thought would be boring and i was like whoa this is actually kind of exciting i got one hit it the roller coaster tatsu six flags magic mountain dude you know i watched it and i was like that orange not feeling it tatsu kind of a whack name like what yeah like ramen dragon dude? Dude, yeah, good call. And then dragons, I was like, dude, I've been over dragons since I was six. Like they don't scare me. Then I get on Tatsu. Six Flags, Magic Mountain.

Dude, that also brings us to other roller coaster related news that Disneyland announces Rise of the Resistance ride won't open at Star Wars Galaxy's Edge until 2020. Fuck. Whoa, dude. Is it supposed to be legit? Do they have some info on it? I'll get into it. Dude. Yeah, it's supposed to be massively legit. You join the battle between the First Order and the Resistance,

including a face-off with Kylo Ren. Fuck yeah. What, dude? I'd rather it be with Darth Vader. Same here, dude. What am I gonna do to tell Kylo Ren, dude? Oh, dude. dude oh dude go talk to your dad more dude sorry you're so disgruntled dude oh dude sorry your dad didn't play catch with you dude with a saber or something dude hey kylo rookie dude kylo your mask looks nice yeah it makes you look scary dude also what i didn't like at first but did get stoked on after was uh JT one time, I really want to go see V for Vendetta. And he's like, yeah, dude, no, no, I got us tickets for V for Vendetta, dude. He duped me, dude.

And we went and saw Inside Man, and it was a super dang movie. Oh, cool. It was a good call by him, dude. That was a good movie. It was a good call. Yeah. I was like, what? Inside Man?

Watched it, stoked on it. Dude, thanks, brother. Yeah. Sometimes I would do the switcheroo on dudes. True story. Brought 11 guys to see the Michael Haneke movie Funny Games one time. Yeah. I don't remember that one.

That was a brutal experience. Dude, I just watched Taxi Driver for the first time. Oh, really? Whoa. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. You've never seen it? No, I've seen bits.

Yeah. I watched it, and then I read about it afterwards. And reading about it afterwards I was like cool that's legit what the ending meant and it's a really unique movie I garnered some movie ideas for myself from it

I won't share them because I'm not really totally secure about them yet I love that Dude De Niro's body too right his body yeah he gets ripped i was like dude the whole time i was like was he keto in the 70s yeah i was like how's he doing you ever seen cape fear yeah dude he's hilarious in cape fear he just went to jail and did enough push-ups where he got like superpower like like fire doesn't hurt him in that movie and neither does like broken glass evil yeah but he's just a regular dude he dresses up as the housekeeper

yeah yeah it's gold dude in a paul schrader the guy who wrote taxi driver came from like a uh i think a quaker or puritan family his mom used to poke him with a needle and say that's what hell feels like and so sneaking out to see movies was like the equivalent of us like going out to like do drugs or go like have sex like that was his way of rebelling dude yes in the movie i read about the ending and uh he's a scary dude spoiler alert stokers but basically from one interpretation he'd say he becomes the hero yeah in new york city and which i think is interesting about these times because they're like, oh, he's this psycho the whole way through planning to kill a politician,

and then he becomes this hero because he kills a bunch of gangsters. And they're like, the reason they wanted to do that, Scorsese wanted to do that, is because to comment on how America, we glorify the psychos. It's interesting. It's tough to know what to do.

It's cool stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Squares says it's the best. Yeah. Dude, I was in Cabo last weekend for a friend's bachelor party, and I was FaceTiming with my girlfriend in the bathtub, and four of my boys walked in and were like,

look at Par's dick. Yeah, Par's dick. And I was like, my guys. What's up, fellas? And I think my girlfriend thought it was really charming that me and my dogs are so comfortable with me being naked. That's so nice. Yeah.

It was cool. It unites us, dude. JT's dong does unite us. Yeah. We'll talk about it when he's not around. Did you see it? When's the last time you saw it? Oh, he brought it out in front of you?

That's tight. No, it's been a little bit for me, but that's cool, dude. All right, chill. Get out of here, dude. For sure. Dude, you think he's going to— I've seen your dong a lot, dude. Dude, I know we got dinner tonight, but do you think JG's going to pull it out after dinner, dude?

Oh, maybe, dude. That'd be sick. I know. Sometimes I feel pressure. I'm like – They're like, get naked. I'm like, dog, come on. I'm not even feeling it right now.

Yeah. I'm sunburned. I don't want to. I called my boy back home for a while. He couldn't make it, dude, for a while. It came out this trip. Really? No way, dude.

Yeah, dude. It was sick. That was funny. Dude, Cabo was crazy. It was nice. It was fun, dude. Yeah, dude. It was sick. That was funny. Dude, Cabo was crazy. It was nice. It was fun, dude. 14 guys. Yeah.

Wow, that's a huge. That's a lot of mailers. By the third night when I would close my eyes, I'd have visions of guys just yelling at each other. Be like, what's up, bitch? Yo, bitch, you're 10 minutes late. Let's fucking go. Oh, he's tired.

I just got all these voices flashing my head before i couldn't sleep that's an insane turnout really 14 yeah where did everybody stay at a house yeah my our buddy has a crib down there so we were two to a bed that's too much i slept in my brother's bed it was fun yeah yeah i slept with my bro joe dude it was tight i don't know if i could roll with that deep of a crew yeah you could do it was a lot but it's fun dude we did roll with that deep of a crew. Yeah, you could, dude. It was a lot, but it was fun, dude. We did dune buggies. We went on a boat.

It was good stuff. I think eight max. Also, me and Strider had a good joke going about, like, if you're dating someone, the best way to get mad at your girlfriend is to just call her bro. Like, I dated a girl years ago. She was the sweetest girl in the world.

Super smart, super talented. But her hygiene was, like, a little lackluster. Like, she wouldn't, like, shower after runs and stuff and then so i just said i'd be like babe bro you gotta fucking shower like if you just throw a bro on it it's so much more palatable or if we wake up and like me and my gf have like a breakfast plans or something like that and she's like yo strudger you gotta wake up right now. I'll look at her and be like, bro, what are you doing in my shirt? Bro, are those my boxers? Bro, are you wearing my shirt again?

Bro. Bro. Babe, bro. Bro. Like if you're like really fighting with your girlfriend and you really need to make a point, you just go, bro. Yeah. I can't do it. Sometimes it comes out naturally, though though like i will be like in the

middle of making a point a point you know i'm like bro yeah i told you dude we're gonna take coingo and we're gonna get there on time dude but then how am i gonna she's like you just called me dude and bro like three times i'm sorry dude i call my girlfriend dude all the time yeah what's up dude but i call people that i like dude like it's not yeah oh it's affectionate yeah for sure what's up dude but if she doesn't like it and she yeah. Oh, it's affectionate. Yeah, for sure What's up, dude? But if she doesn't like it she says that I will try to not do it. I also call her my snuggles Oh, dude cute. My snuggles? Snuggle pops

Ew. No. What are you guys worried about? You guys worried about being cute? Do you have an endearing term? Dude. I love it. I love it. Fired up. I always liked pumpkin. I do pumpkin too. I call her boo. I say what's up boo. I say my cute. I don't know why. I'm just organic.

You're the best at greeting your lady when she comes through. I like snookums. That's a good one. I don't even know what that means. Snuggles and snookums are not too different. Snuggles is lame. That's like the name of the bear I don't know what that means. Snuggles and snookums are not too different. No, snuggles is lame. Joe, can you give us... Because that's like the name of the bear from the paper towels or something. It's a good toilet paper.

Joe, can you give an example of you saying pumpkin? Hey, pumpkin, you want to go get some ice cream? That's good. Pumpkin butt. Orny Adams has a good bit about it. Hey, pumpkin butt, you want to go get some ice cream? Calling women pumpkin. Pumpkin butt. Get out of butt at the end. Hey, pumpkin butt, you want to go get some ice cream? Calling women pumpkin. Pumpkin butt, let's go get some ice cream.

Oh, this actually brought me back to thinking of something that I was not stoked about at first, but am now stoked about when you're talking about theme parks. Dippin' Dots ice cream, dude. Oh, yeah. I look at it and I'm like, I don't want, what the fuck do I want? Give me a regular ice cream oh yeah i look at it and i'm like i don't want what the fuck do i want give me a regular ice cream yeah but then you eat them and it's so fun dude like they like stick to your mouth all weird and why are they only at theme parks why is there not dipping dots in the world that's what i'm saying dude weird dude but favorite flavor

you hit that banana split baby baby i i don't even know i think i just go in baby and i get some some chocolate or something they mix it up you know dude god hit the banana split, baby? Baby, I don't even know. I think I just go in, baby, and I get some chocolate or something, and they mix it up. Dude, you gotta hit the banana split, baby. Really? Yeah, baby. How's your guys' Fourth of Julys? It was good. It was good, yeah. I did a beer bong out of a pool floaty.

Sick. You went to Delia's, right? Yeah. How was that? That's cool. That was a lot of fun. Nice. Chad, how was your Fourth of Julyuly uh it was good i was in newport um start off the morning with a fire non-rebuttal my girlfriend at like 8 a.m um right on time dude she so she nails the first shot and i come in swish

how was it down there it was fun it's kind of my memory memory's kind of fuzzy but then i remember us at like at like midnight i like sort of remember because i was like with my buddy i'm like let's go back out and she's like she's She's like, you're so fucked up right now. I'm like, what? And I just went back out. And we went out and we're like, why are we here? Would you go Rudy's? Malarkey's? We hit Malarkey's.

We hit Beach Ball. We hit Blue Beach. Blue Beach is fun, dude. Yeah. I wanted to light up some fireworks so bad. You know, we were in Mexico for the 4th where you can get some good fireworks. There was none. Yeah, we didn't even get fireworks now that I think about it.

Did you see any? No, I didn't even see any. No, I didn't see any. That's because you weren't in the United States. Oh, right. Why are they going to do fireworks? Maybe you guys should be in America on the 4th of July. You ever think about that?

You know, dude, it's Baja Sur. It's part of California. Have you been out of the country before? What does that have to do with being out of the country on the 4th of july you ever think about that you know dude it's baha sir it's part of california what does that have to do with the being out of the country on the 4th of july well because like if you've never been out of the country you wouldn't really know if it was how it was for anything i mean i assume you wouldn't see fireworks have you been out of the country no okay has Has anyone invited me? No. I've invited you. I'm not going to Cabo with 14 guys. All right.

Dude. Our bro Johnson's doing a push-up contest. So much fun, dude. The sun's glistening, dancing off his back, dude. All the boys are getting fired up with freaking Don Julio shots, cheering him on. 14 guys on a banana boat. I don't do shots. Oh, yeah. You don't do shots.

That's okay, dude. You can sit on it. They offered me one last night, too. You can sit on deck. I don't do shots. Oh, yeah, you don't do shots. That's okay, dude. You can sit on it. They offered me one last night, too. You can sit on it. I didn't take mine last night either. Yeah. Don't give me shots. That was really sweet of the manager of the place to give us free drinks.

Yeah. This is the Shelby? Yeah. He likes you guys? She. Oh, is it she? But, yeah, the owner. That's my male gaze, dude.

I assume he's got it. I like the owner. He's a cool guy, too. He's from Chicago. Yeah, they have a super- jenga which is fun and people were making up rules as we were playing but that's fine you can't be doing that dude they got the rules have to be you ever hear the you ever hear this rule but they were telling me don't tap the wood i was like why don't you tap this wood oh for jenga yeah i understand So you can't tap it to choose.

But I feel like once you've chosen, then you can tap to, like, you know, wedge it out. But I could get behind that as long as it's established. Yeah, if it's established. But if it's not established, then tap away. Yeah, when people come up with rules midstream, you're like, okay, well, we'll apply that rule for the following game. Correct. But we can't change what's already happened. No, but that would be a quick game.

Because how are you going to guess which one is going to come out? you can't change no but that would be a quick game because how are you gonna guess which one is gonna come out you can't no game would be over on the first turn true i'm i'm all for tapping because then it's gonna prolong the game yeah the stakes and be more fun people just make up shit yeah especially when they're down people were nice though yeah they were nice yeah all right guys let's get into some questions. Legit. What's up Stokers? It's summertime which means everyone is home from college and the squad is linking up pretty frequently. Usually everyone is stoked to be home as the crew has been tight for years now. While it's great to be home, one

of my best bros turned into a total D-bag since last number. He got super yoked up with an amazing bronze and has been relentless in getting babes. While I'm stoked for his advances, he has also developed a massive ego and puts the squad down every time I don't get it. I kind of think of think you gotta let it run its course yeah he's like icarus he's flying too close to the sun but uh at some point that's gonna run out yeah yep you know he's trying to fill some void dude i mean he went he got he got jacked dude maybe he thinks that's what it's all about is just scoring chicks but he'll realize that you know it's it's more about the squad

hanging with the boys in good times but right now he's just got to uh you know he's got a little bit of immaturity he's got to mature a little bit i feel like but i am stoked that he's bronzed and jacked that's dude yeah i got fired up that's tight if he is being super annoying about it being like like you know there's some guys that can be like, dude, I'm getting chicks, and none of you guys are getting chicks, and I'm going out, and I'm doing the work. And make it act like he's the only one in the crew. That's super annoying. Right.

And you need to be like, you can tell him, like, look, we don't define our, you can't, and it's tough as a young dude. Like, so much of us define ourselves by how we are with chicks and all that. Be like, dude, it's not what it's all about. That's that you can do that but we just want to like hang out joe you got anything no not really no keep a non please dear chatting company stoked on the pod love the advice love the advice you guys give fellow stokers i was hoping to get some wise wisdom for myself my girlfriend has recently expressed herself as bisexual and i expressed myself as excited for the opportunity to have two babes in the bedroom, and she said this is a possibility if we find the right candidate.

Unfortunately, I'm from a small town and the options are limited. We have went down the road with a few potential pussy pals, but nothing ever solidified. Now one of my boys recently broke up with his GF of a few years about a month ago. She is also bi, and has just last week expressed interest in being my GF's GF. No. Although my boy and her dated for a few years, he never made it seem

like he had a future with her. But maybe he was just trying to be alpha and not sound committed to a female. Now my heart is telling me to ask my boy if he would be okay

if I watch his ex go downtown on my current. But my head is telling me it's not a schmole move as long as I am just a bystander in this intimate interaction and use it as a learning

opportunity to increase my pleasure powers in the bedroom with a teacher who has more experience with female anatomy than i this guy's really he's trying to prove it to himself he's talking yeah he's talking for a long time so what do i do do i check with my boy and risk him flushing my fantasy down the drain or do i say fucking and follow my dong's dream and just hope they never get back together so i can hold this epic experience as a harmless secret sincerely a guy who has always wanted to witness two girls finger bang each other yeah dude i think you got to just let it go sorry dog yeah i mean it's tough because it's a it's a pretty spectacular thing that could happen but you know i like i like his response to her coming out i'm bisexual oh whoa and i'd like to have another female on the bed yeah very nice immediately assuming it's only

gonna be a girl it's all good yeah it's gonna be another chick that's super hot and of course it's uh nodded yeah uh yeah jt is 100 right dude you gotta let this one fly by it's too much i mean dude when you hear of like a threesome scenario, I feel like it's if you're a single guy and you're on vacation somewhere and like the stars align and it somehow happens. But, dude, when you're in a relationship and then this girl – Yeah, three ways are better on vacation. Yeah, totally different.

Yeah, three ways are vacation. I got a strict Hawaiian shirt policy when it comes to three ways. Yeah. If you can pull off a Hawaiian where you're at, then you're good to go on a three way. Right. I agree. Bali. Yeah. If you can pull off a Hawaiian where you're at, then you're good to go on a three-way. Right. I agree with that. Bali, Hawaii, three miles.

Tahiti. Yeah. You know. Trinidad and Tobago. Casual Friday at work. Kidding, dude. Right. Dude, you're hurting your buddy because it's the ex,

then you're probably like, who knows? It sounds like you haven't really talked to your girlfriend about where she's coming from on this. So, yeah, you can talk to him about it, but I wouldn't recommend it. Yeah. Yeah dear clear dear start gods i am in a situation with this babe i have been friends with for a while now we went to high school together and go to college together now she is part of both of my squads my friend from high school my friend in college she's a total babe chill and fun i've had feelings for a while but never tried anything because i did not

want to mess up the squad i just got back from a semester abroad and did not see her for six months. First time hanging out after we get back, we almost hooked up. She was trying to hook up, but her friends were waiting on her, so we never did. We text a little more that night, and she said she missed me a lot. Next day, I found out she blacked out and does not remember anything towards the end of the night. So I don't know what to do. Go for it with her and see what happens, or just not try anything and move on. Love the pod.

Always keeps me stoked. Yeah, yeah you gotta try it again yeah i wouldn't assume anything yeah keep going for it if you're feeling it stay on that path and uh maybe talk to her about a little bit when she's sober too yeah talk to her about and try to engage in some sweet romance all right what up sultans of Stoke? I have an urgent question that must be answered. I'm chilling with a few bros bonding over a 7 game series of Pong and we ran into a serious issue. The opposition hit their final cup and we were up for rebuttals.

My partner was heating up and he hit the final cup, therefore being on fire. When on fire, the shooter gets balls back, but also when in rebuttals and then makes the cup, that stoker gets a ball back. In this situation, do we get balls back once or twice? Please help us in these trying times. Our stoke has decreased drastically because of this issue.

I have faith that experienced Rage Cadets such as yourself will be able to resolve the issue. Of course. You, the bro that just wrote in, I forget his name, he gets the ball back once. Your friend who was on fire only gets it back twice. Yeah, I agree. I sent this to my brother because he knows more about this than I do. He's a real expert. He said, wow, I really had to think about this one.

The dude who hit the rebuttal shot and got fired should get just one more shot, and if he makes it, then his team gets to go first in OT. If they are really passionate about the dude also getting his fire shot, then if he misses the first shot, they could give him his fire shot again to be shooting for the right to go first, but I personally wouldn't. What up, Savants of Stoke? I could really use some of your scholarly wisdom. My stoke tank has been close to empty this whole summer. The problem is regarding where I should attend college. I recently changed my major from plant science to marine biology. I've been offered a scholarship to play soccer at a college that I like, but it does not have my major or I can go to one of my two dream colleges to study my major, but I won't

be able to play soccer. I've been playing soccer for 15 of my 18 years of life and it would feel weird not to play. But then on the other hand, I could be passing up a chance to study what I love. I feel equally for both of these things, and I don't want to regret not choosing one later in life. I would really appreciate some helpful words of wisdom from guys. P.S. Love the pot and keep inspiring people to live stoke-fulfilled lives.

Yeah, that's a tough call. I can't make that kind of a decision for you um no but just to add in yeah it's just what it's just what's more important to you in the long run is you know a potential career that you can have for life or you know how serious are you about soccer and real you have to realistically think how good you are and how far you can get with soccer correct well strider do you you went to college for for volleyball do you regret going for volleyball like do you wish you would have gone to a place that was more in line with your overall life ambitions or career passions yeah this i would say this soaker is lucky to that

that uh it's a it's a guy or a girl guy Guy, I think. Guy that he knows what he wants to study. I didn't know what I wanted to study, but having played volleyball and being like, look, I was never going to be a pro. I was pretty good, but it wasn't going to take me anywhere, and there was going to be no money down the road in my life. My income would have to be from something else, like freaking drilling it at Benihana or straight up a valet, dude.

But I think, yeah, you have to look at the real assessment and go, what is my, you know, you got to do something. But did you enjoy playing volleyball? I did. I enjoyed it. But what I was going to say is you can go play rec soccer and stuff.

I mean, you won't get the same competitive outlet you will as like an intercollegiate team, but you'll get your soccer fix. And to be honest, I mean mean now it's a longevity thing which is tough you gotta look now i have the most fun when i get to play volleyball with the bros on the beach maybe have a few suds um so maybe the most fun you're gonna have playing soccer down the road is pickup or an indoor league or something like that so maybe um maybe you just go where you can play somewhere on a club team and then yeah pick the school that has the studies

would be my choice. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, if you already know what you want to study, then you have to go for that. Yeah, and it's pretty specific. Like plant science to marine biology, like he's definitely zeroing in on something. Yeah, you can play intramural soccer. Most people do. But I would say most people don't know that they want to do plant-based biology stuff.

I would say he's on the lower end of switching his major. He's more precocious. Most people are like poli-sci or communication, and they switch to like— Right, it's one broad subject to another one. Yeah. I was biology for like two days, then I went to philosophy. Nice. Well, one thing, too.

Was it worth going to a school for volleyball just because of the friends you made on the volleyball team no because I had such a legit crew of high school bros but I would say I'm an outlier in that scenario I would say the majority of people might meet their lifelong friends on that team or something like that which could be chill

Jon Stewart played college soccer and so is he still bros with his college soccer dudes I don't know but bros with his college soccer dudes? I don't know, but I think he was funniest on the team. I would imagine. Yeah. Unless there's always, you know, it always seems like there's a funnier dude out there

for like the famous funny person. They look back and they're like naughty, but Ryan, that guy was the best. He brought it. Rehab now. Yeah. Just think I want to do it professionally. Yeah.

It's always tough to top the true legends out there. Yeah. My dog, Robbie. Very funny guy. But, dude, that's a life decision. I mean, that's like going to school. I mean, it's a good problem to have, I guess. Yeah, for sure.

All right. What's up, you legends? I went to Palm Springs with a boyfriend last weekend, and in a strange turn of events, we ended up at a gay bar. I wanted the BF to embrace the turn that our night took and dance with me, but he was very anti-dancing at the bar and just wanted to sit in the corner because he didn't think he had the dancers to compete with the other guys there.

Is this grounds for being annoyed? The energy there was pretty electric, even if we were the lone straight couple, and it kind of lowered my stoke. Thank you and hope you are doing well. Oh, that's from a lady. Yeah. Um, I don't think it's reason to be upset with him. I you and hope you are doing well. Oh, it's from a lady. Yeah. I don't think it's reason to be upset with him. I mean, you can be like a little disappointed,

but I think it's minor. I mean, you just got to have fun on your own and he'll hopefully grow and get more comfortable as time goes on. But I don't think it's anything worth harboring any sort of resentment about. Well, I think it's a good move not to dance if you're the only straight couple you don't want to be out there showing off

you know it's the gay but let it's the gays playground let them have their fun do you think they don't want they don't want that yeah they don't want the straights out there parading their straight i think they get annoyed by a little bit of like straight tourism where everyone's like oh this is my night out in the gay park. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I respect the guy's decision not to dance. But I don't think he made the decision out of...

Do you think he made it out of deference to them, or do you think he just made it out of fear of putting himself out there? No, I think it was, this is their spot. They're going to have fun. I'm going to be over here. Yeah, if that's the case, then that's... I don't want to be the center of attention. It's hard to argue with that.

It sounded like... Yeah, it is hard to be over here. Yeah, if that's the case, then that's... I don't want to be the center of attention. It's hard to argue with that. It sounded like... Yeah, it is hard to argue with that. What's up, Maximus and Decimus and Joe or Strider, their meridius? I recently found a guilty pleasure. It's RuneScape. I don't know if you remember that computer game, but if not, the premise of the game is medieval times, and you kill beasts and go on quests.

I recently told some of the squad about it and have consistently been getting flamed for it. I know I might sound like a major ween for being into this game, but rest assured I'd rather bang it with the dogs than be online. Almost nothing jacks my stoke meter up more than chomping it up with my clanmates or crushing a personal and game goal. The problem is with this shit I've been getting from the lads. I have no trouble telling them to F off and suck one, but I feel like the jokes and insults might be warranted. For instance, if one of the boys started telling me how sick Minecraft is, I'd never

let him live it down. So what should I do? Go with the jokes or clap back? Also, you guys have given me advice before and it turned out great. So big thanks for that. Anyways, catch you boys on the flip and love the pod. Let's see more of Joe if possible. Never too much dong talk. This was before last week's episode too. Nice.

Dongs shall be discussed when we are on the pod. Always. They shall be discussed. It has come to pass. Just so it sounds like his bros are hating on that he loves this game. Yeah. I mean, dude, you love the game. Why are your bros hating, dude?

I mean, you just tell them, look, I like this game. I have fun. Unless like you're really playing it an unhealthy amount amount like 14 hours a day and like you need to get pulled away from it but if it's just like a fun little hobby pastime you have and they're breaking your balls i mean i don't know maybe are you being sensitive about are they just you know busting your chops and you love the this thing a lot so i don't know there's a few unanswered questions but i feel like you just tell them look dude i like this game it this game. It's chill. You don't have to play with me, but I'm still making myself available to hang out with the squad,

then no problems there. Yeah, I feel like if he loves the game, he should play the game. And like you're saying, if he plays an unhealthy amount, then maybe cut it a little bit. But it sounds like they're just giving him shit, and he just, you know, just roll with it. It's fun. Give some shit back. Exactly. Dish it and with it. It's fun. Give some shit back.

Exactly. Dish it and take it. It's a two-way street. Oh, you think this game is lame? I saw you playing Foursquare. Right. So suck it, Trevor. Yeah.

Yeah. It's tough, though. What does it mean to be a man? From a boy in man's clothing. Last question. That's it? Yep. I mean, dude, that's a deep question, dude.

How should a man go and live his life, dude? Squats. I mean, he should have a good... Squats are good. Squat, yeah. Have a fucking strong base. Get a strong motor, dude. That's your core, your ass, your quads, your hammies, dude.

I have kind of an oversimplified idea of it, and I don't think there's any one way to do it. But I always think the best way to be manly or masculine is just to get things done. If you're getting things done, if people can rely on you to do what you say, then you're accomplishing your quest of being a full man. I like that.

And if you fail, that's fine too. Just don't't quit and obviously you always want to err on the side of compassionate and thoughtful but just just keep trying to get stuff done yeah I concur I think if you if you find a purpose something to strive for and you're continually moving forward towards that no matter what road you take and I found that to be for anyone just the biggest source of happiness for me you know if I'm being productive and moving towards doing what I want to do and I'm making those steps towards it and I see that goal coming closer and closer that's when I'm happiest yeah and more happy than 4th of July whoa that's not yeah it's true you can turn every day in your 4th of July

yeah like yesterday I got a lot of shit done like I was working like all day and at the end of the day I was like I earned the right to watch a taxi driver and I'm happier than most 4th of July's yeah give yourself a nice little treat you got anything else anybody else yeah sure we should know how to at least fix something if something's oh I like that mm-hmm around the house be feelings no just picture frames broken or something just know how to use a hammer and nails and stuff like that be able to hang stuff on the walls joe can you fix a flat tire yeah um that's the last question

yep so i ran into my dog caleb out at el porto manhattan beach and caleb runs critters toy co which is a shape surfboard the they gave me a surfboard in October, and they also have some dink clothes. And he told me their mission statement, since we always go over the mission statement for like surf companies. So his mission statement is making fun more funner. Which I like.

Just keep having fun. Funner is not a word. But that's fun because they invented it. Yeah. All right. Chad, who is your beef of the week my beef of the week is with environmental correctionists i don't know if that's a proper term for them but that's what i'm gonna go with so we did a story um on monday with our metal straws. Yeah, dude. Just stoked on metal straws, you know. We were coming through with this.

We replaced straws, and we were saving the turtles, and we were amped on it. We were saying, what up, fish? Like, you got your save now. Oh, shit. I just tried to just point to a straw. Yeah, fuck, dude. And I was amped on the metal straws, even though I heard some lady met her demise by a metal straw. Yeah, fuck, dude. And I was amped on the metal straws.

Even though I heard some lady met her demise by a metal straw. I saw that, too. Yeah. I got sent that story, like, a hundred times. Anyways, but there's always people that come through. When you're trying to be, like, environmentally conscious, there's always people that come through who always have to get in one last dig. They're like, well, what about your single-use plastic cup?

What about that cap? What about your hat? Is that plastic? And I'm like, what about you, dude? What are you doing? What are you wearing, shoes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a plastic bracelet?

What are you drinking out of? drinking out of what what gives you the platform to always be freaking pestering people about their environmentalist i want to see what you're doing you got to be fully fully um fucking what's the word for when you're fucking i think it's like a glass house type thing dude if you have a glass house don't throw stones you know i mean it sounds like this guy's like a glass house type thing, dude. If you have a glass house, don't throw stones. You know what I mean? It sounds like this guy's got a little bit. A hypocrite? No, no, no. Like when someone's like fully environmentally like. Conscious?

Yeah. Oh, sustainable. Like everything they do is good for the environment. They're like, you better be fully sustainable like Leonardo DiCaprio, who I don't even think is fully sustainable yet. But I want you to be fully sustainable, and then you can send those comments. All right? Because we're trying over here you know yeah exactly it's like uh you know lead with some stoke you know be like dude you're taking at least tonally be like dude stoked on the metal straws here's a few other options that could go in the right way exactly rather

than coming from the angle of looking down going oh nice little metal straw but hey guess what dick weed you got this cup it's like dude all right bro like i'm trying i mean i'm making i'm taking from the angle of looking down going oh nice little metal straw but hey guess what dick weed yeah this cup it's like dude all right bro like i'm trying i mean i'm making i'm taking the step in this direction get stoked on that positive encouragement it's tone dude so much in life is tone yeah you get more flies with honey more bees with honey yeah if you're sweet people listen more yeah bee pit style dude joe who is your B for the week? Okay, yeah. My B for the week is people that ask other people for condoms. Go get your own condoms, okay?

Yeah, tell the whole story. It's an intimate ask. Well, yeah, I had a girlfriend of mine ask me for a condom. I was very turned off by it. But the thing is, too, like I don't even give guys condoms. The only time I get them. Because yours are too big. Yeah, it's going to fit them.

Well, that's what I was also going to get to. It's like also you want to use my condoms? Guess what? It ain't going to fit you. I hate to tell you. It's not going to fit. Okay? I have special condoms.

They don't fit you. So don't ask. And also I think the only time I've given a guy a condom is, like, if we've been out at the bar and I had one in my wallet. I've never had somebody, like, come over to pick up a condom. Go to the store. Yeah, what? Don't bother me with your intimate.

No, dude, I hate to call her out, but, like, she was messaging me, too, and I was like, I'm with my girlfriend. I was like, go to a store. Yeah, it's very. She's like, which condoms feel like they're almost nothing on your wiener and i was like the trojan light blue ones i think it's almost like she needed you guys to know that she was about to get her bone on yeah yeah i don't need to know that i love it though she's awesome yeah but yeah interesting anything else are you still pissed yeah no i just don't yeah there's like a million cvs's or whatever just yeah you shouldn't be asking people for condoms unless you're yeah unless

it's like a spur of the moment that like you're out at the bar don't you think you're letting her get to you a little bit don't you think this is what she wanted is this kind of reaction from you i don't know sounds like i think i think you think you think i think you think things are deeper than they are. I mean, I don't think that was – You think she really – I don't think she was like, oh, I wonder what Joe's going to say when I do this. I don't think that –

I don't know, man. I think there's a lot of easier ways to get a condom than to hit up your guy friend and go over to his house to get one. I think JT's right on because, of course, how far – there's a Rite Aid or a CBS on every corner. Right. Joe's apartment's only on one corner, which is also a pretty sick movie from back in the day. And most people like to be discreet about sex. Most people like to just – Yeah, that's the whole point, too.

That's why the whole thing is a turn off. I think – And again – You're giving her too much real estate and you're dumbed up. And again, it's not going to fit you. That's the most – That's the most – yes. If you're over 15, you can get condoms. Yeah. It's so easy. Thank you. yes if you're over 15 you can get condoms yeah so

easily thank you planned parenthood go get some condoms i don't know man it bothered the story bothers me yeah of course a lot of people are disturbed by it it's very disturbing what are you doing it's an attention grabbing move yeah that's what everyone's been saying it's like why are you texting these dudes why why didn't you that's what i's been saying. It's like, why are you texting these dudes? That's what I was saying. Well, a lot of people have said that. I've gotten a lot of opinions on it. That's what a lot of people have been saying.

Why hasn't she texted one of her girlfriends about it? Yeah, or just, there's like, I've never had anyone, except for someone who was like living with me at the moment. I've never had someone from outside my domicile be like, hey, can I borrow a condom? As i drive past all these gas stations and cvs what am i gonna do down my grandpa what are you gonna do tell the guy like yo yo dude hang here i'm gonna run and grab a condom from another dude i know yeah yeah then you come back out with a magnum and he's like

like she's it's like she's power removing everybody correct yeah oh and then yeah he's got a small dong oh sorry, sorry, my other friend. My buddy only has magnums, yeah. You don't fit this? I'm going to throw this out there. I bet she wasn't even having sex. Dude, yeah. Because I saw on her Instagram, like, 15 minutes later,

she was at dinner with her friend. Yeah. Whoa. She's playing games with her dong. Yeah, it was so fishy about that. Whoa. Maybe she was just with her friend talking about Joe, and then they're like yeah joe sweet

blah blah would you would you hook up with joe oh yeah i heard he's got a big dong of course he's got a big dong dude if you heard this pod you know there's like at least five minutes dedicated to joe's dong talk yeah doesn't take any you know freaking detective dude and doesn't take freaking dick tracy to find out about joe's dong what up and uh i bet you then she goes hey let me try to prove to you that joe's got a big dong and that's why very conspiratorial of me right here but that's why she texted you to prove to her friend get the hard evidence i love that i love what you're putting down crazy crazy crazy but true i love what you're putting down and i would also say from what she was

texting jt about like it needs to be really thin and stuff she's totally just fucking around what's going yeah then okay that that kind of ruins my show like you gotta just like you just gotta because it like you let it ruin your day yeah i think you gotta cut this it was at night it ruined my night yeah right you gotta shut it down she has i mean it's gone too far it's gone on long enough you gotta shut it down does she listen to the pod maybe but she'd understand if she heard it she would give if she wasn't the one doing this to joe she would give joe the same advice to do this to the person who was yes i mean that's a good point what up i've heard described as awesome sounds not that awesome and she's and she's and she's she's not being thoughtful well she's got

everyone's got flaws she's got a lot of layers to her. A very complex. She's got different... Like an onion, dude. Yeah. Like Shrek. No, I'm not saying... I'm not saying, you know, if she was ever in trouble, I'd be there in a second.

But you're a better friend for calling them out, letting them know that that's what's up. I think so. Yeah. Well, that's what kind of bothers me. Like, yeah, I told her, like, anything else. Like, she thinks this thing is, like, a sign of, like, oh, I'm not there when, like. The condom thing? Like, when she needs her.

Oh, my God. It's like we were talking today how she, like, feels like she always is helping people and she's not. Nah, dude. But she doesn't get anything in return. And I'm like, I was like, if you ever need to talk to anybody, I'm there. She's not a fucking martyr. And then she was, like, kind of shrugged off. She was like, I was like, if you ever need to talk to anybody, I'm there. Fucking martyr. And then she was like, she was like kind of shrugged off.

She was like, eh, I'm like, you're going to let the like condom thing be like a thing where it's like, that's too much. That's, that's a manipulative. Yeah.

I was like, this is totally different. But you got to, you, you are a man. You're the, you're a beast. All right.

You're a legend. Strider. Who is your beef of the week? Dude, my beef of the week is my fr left pinky toenail dude i was uh cuddling with my gf and watching um was it good uh oh dude it was the dank cuddle dude we were watching home again with reese witherspoon shoot again dude those fellas are lovable in that movie for the first time but you told me you're like dude when you see it you're gonna love it i saw it solo in huntington and you love it i love it yeah is that the one john

rednitsky's in yeah he's good he's good he's also pretty good in catch 22 the series strider and i saw him do stand up a decade ago we're like it's the worst fucking comedian god bless him he's like super successful on everything on snl unreal but uh dude hard work bro that's what it's all about yeah no he deserves it dude um so yeah dude, I freaking was cuddling my GF, and I freaking scratched her with my left pinky toenail. Dude, it had been a while. I didn't know I let it get too big, dude. I freaking, oh.

And I'm like, even evolutionarily, do we even need our little pinkies, dude? I was like, do I need to get rid of this, dude, harming my GF with that. But it was fine, dude. A little scrape, all good. No harm, no foul. Well, a little bit of harm, but no foul, dude. And definitely went in and clipped the toenail so um just you know hygiene dude stay stay healthy dude and you know get those good cuddles in with your gfs and so just looking out you never know when something's gonna get you you know what i mean so that was my beef though was on

myself um my left pinky toenail got a little bit long dude sorry to hear about that scratch dude preach dude thanks dude she's she's solid though she's feeling solid nice yeah was there bleeding no uh no it was like one of those weird things like where there was like a little you know like when a little thing of skin gets raised up but there's no like blood there like a yeah very minor cut but still it caused her to go like this yeah you don't like that yeah that's beef yeah yeah what i do a lot a lot of times when i'm driving with my gf is she'll go down to like uh dj the song she'll be djing dude and when she's djing she'll kind of like move over the center console because i'm mid-sized suv she's got to kind of lean over and then i'll try to like steal a little smooch on the back of her dome like that

but dude totally on me then she'll just be living life coming back to her seat and drill me right in the mouth and she's like oh sorry sorry and I'm like that's not on you that's on me nice do you know yeah do when I'm horny I knock stuff over a lot like yo adults just hit the ground yeah I just I my proprioception goes to nothing you've got a man when you're just like walking yeah I'm just like walking around just like hitting stuff over yeah interesting it's like you gotta calm down I'm sorry sorry and then I like take a breath I don't get. I'm like, sorry, sorry. And then I like take a breath. I feel that. I get laser.

I'm like precision driving. That's good. That's my side of it. Horniness is a very effective. Is horniness considered an emotion? Yeah. Well, use that sexual energy. I don't think so.

Yeah. Use that sexual energy. I don't know how to describe my emotions for most of my life. Use that sexual energy and you take it out on the go-kart track. Oh, dude. Go do a little K2 racing or K1, whatever it is on the go-kart track oh dude go do a little k2 racing or k1 whatever it is the electric ones legit yeah one time we were racing dude for this um dude's birthday like back you know a while back and uh jt's like dude i fucking set the uh

the track record for the week i was like dude it's monday but that being said he did have the best time of that day that's hilarious and maybe it did stand for the week we took the governor off of a go-kart one time and then it would just wheelie and like be uncontrollable people are just getting injured left and right you gotta when you buy something don't try to soup it up that's where problems always happen yeah you get something it's well built it's well manufactured then you try to do a bunch of shit to it it's gonna turn into problems um all right my beef of the week is with myself because uh i made a stupid remark a couple weeks ago i was talking about my friend

robbie that i grew up with and uh i was saying how he used to torture fish and how strider was saying a lot of those guys become murderers and i very glibly was like oh he is a murderer he's a marine and uh i got some justifiable feedback from people saying that they were disappointed in me and you are right to be disappointed it was a stupid thing to say you guys do a lot more than i do and you guys you know protect us and our heroes and and i'm thankful for your sacrifice so i'm sorry i said something stupid i did not mean it. Legend, dude. Hey, Chad.

It takes a lot to step up. Apologize. Legend, dude. Thanks, dog. Of course. Not that much, but thank you. Chad, who is your babe of the week? My babe of the week is that no rebuttal on the pong table.

Oh. Fire, dude. Did it just go? And did you see a little drop come up out of the cup and yeah that that like honestly dude i was watching in real time but it felt like it happened in slow mosh let's see you guys both hit the ball we both we both switched it and it was an hour ball just great way to start off your girlfriend your teammate yeah yeah that's exciting that's the best yeah i wish i was there to do a fucking celeb shot dude earlier in the game you would have done a

fire celeb shot you have just sunk that dude freaking would have gone satellite cup dude game death cup game over you would have hit one of the uh one of the other teams the cups they were holding yeah that's what i'm saying my pleasure beer when i'm when i'm playing pong i've got a nice ipa to sip on dude while i'm drinking that bl smooth dude little grapefruit sculpin in there dude while i'm ponging it dude yeah fire i could so dude good for you so i'm uh i'm still on a high from that freaking no rebuttal and uh feels good and it was a freaking babe of a of a maneuver don't have to throw out there and say it.

Do you play where if you make it in the cup and the person is holding it, they're not drinking it right away? If you shoot it in that cup, game. That's what I'm saying. You got to drink it. That's game, yeah. All right.

Yeah, that's game. That's cool too. And finish all the beers on the table plus our beers. That never happens though. No. Yeah, people put out on the finish of the other beers. I'm a lot and sometimes to be honest i never if there's a lot if you like if you get smoked no one's drinking eight cups plus you want to save the beer for

the other game yeah yeah yeah like you're always running out of beer so you're at some point you're just like dude we should play dude we should play some pong we can play right here we just do a good day we got a great we got a great patio for it. Yeah, we do. Let's do it. I have a pong table. Dude, let's do it. We got all the parts. I'm fired up now.

Yeah, we'll just play with some water and just have some fun. Just kidding. Hydrate. Play with blue drink. Let's do it on the hottest day of the year so we're just sautéing. Sweat it out. Joe, who is your babe of the week? My sister.

She's having her first kid in a couple days she's due on the 16th um and i'm going uh home to chicago to see uh the baby and my brother just had a kid so uh it's very exciting time in the maurice family just got these little babies popping out uh i'm gonna be an uncle uh of three uh it's gonna be great so yeah very excited for her yeah nice it's her first child and dude good for them dude boy or girl it's gonna be a girl ah if it was a boy i'd probably already have a freaking monster dong yeah just in the freaking womb just dong it's like what is that a forearm or a dong dude strider who is your babe of the week my babe of the week dude's gotta be my gf um i posted about this on insta dude but

um still fired up on it dude i didn't even know my gf bought this dank basket for our apartment and dude turns out dude it's a legit um company from fricking Lauren Conrad's company, dude. Nice dude. LC, what up? And, and my GF's a big fan of LC. So anyone, my fan, my GF's a fan of, I'm a fan of. And dude, it's a company called Little Market where the, it's ladies and like third world countries just, you know, like build different like decor items and probably other items too. I don't know too much about it, but this is a dank basket that some ladies in Senegal made

and they use reusable materials. So they use modern freaking materials, but, you know, I don't know if like ancient, but like past techniques. So combining past and present, and I'm fired up on that, dude. I like freaking get stoked on time travel and freaking, you know, history and shit'm fired up on uh that dude i like freaking get stoked on time travel and freaking you know history and shit and so uh yeah dude just looks

dank you know the money goes to a dank cause so just fired up on my gf for finding that dude so definitely baby of the week dude my babe of the week is uh kyle thomas dude yeah yeah friend Kyle Thomas. Dude, yeah. Yeah, a friend of ours from growing up. Oh, yeah. Absolute beast, dude. Maximizing his potential. He's living out in New York. He's doing medical sales. He looks good with his shirt off. He's a killer with the ladies.

And he's just got a great attitude. Yeah. Like, he's just fun to be around. We're in Cabo. Not only does this guy bring the energy when we're partying, but then when we're at home relaxing, him and Andrew, who's been a legend of the week and a babe of the week several times over again and deserves it again, but I'm just trying to mix it up,

so I'm giving it to Kyle, but you deserve it too, my dog. They cook up dinner for us, dude. They're making fire steak for the guys. Not only are they providing the fun, they're providing the sustenance, and I just think he went above and beyond. And I'm sorry to the other guys on the trip, but I'm calling it now. Kyle's the MVP of the trip. Nice.

Dude, I'll second that. I'm in your corner on this. He is the captain of SEAL Team 3. There's no question, dude. The guy is a legend. He's drilling it at life, dude. So, yes. MVP.

Yeah. And it's just remarkable. Fire. All right all right Chad who is your legend of the week uh my legend of the week is uh Trevor L aka Pledge Lamp um there's two things about this dude that you gotta know first off he was uh my one of my favorite interviews because he was a lamp um and uh he did it well he got baked he put a lampshade he did it well. He got baked. He put a lampshade on his head with a flashlight. Clap on, clap off. He would turn it on and off instantly.

You know, it was like the real deal. And he played that with gusto. You know, he was a legit lamp. He was entertaining us, and he was also giving us light, which was legit. So shout out to Pledge Lamp. Also, I got to give him a shout out. This dude has the best calves probably in the nation. which was legit. So shout out to Pledge Lamb. Also, I got to give him a shout out.

This dude has the best calves probably in the nation. And the thing about them is he doesn't work at them. It's all natural. It's like Joe's hog. Calves are like that. He's got Joe's hog of calves. Amongst the most genetic of muscles. Yeah, they're huge. Genetically predisposed.

They're huge. They're thick. And you look at him and you never really you never really look at me to be like i bet that guy's uh good tree trunks you know you look at him and you're like you're like i bet i bet he's a decent sprinter and then he just pulls up his pant leg and boom he's got the caps of a postman it's like two basketballs on his lower legs hell yeah so i just want to give a shout out to those calves dude so inspiring they they push me every day if i'm ever feeling like i can't work out if i don't want to go to the gym i think about those calves and i just motor my way to the gym baby well fuck you pledge lamp what up joe who's your legend of the week

uh my legend of the week uh i saw on Facebook, it's my oldest cousin, Jim. It's his birthday today. This guy, true legend, really taught all the other Morisi cousins, I would say, to have a competitive spirit we would have these uh these battles of 21 uh in their basement out in the suburban chicago uh he was significantly older than all of us so he would just bury us um we would truly get dominated every game and he would just teach us i mean he was like michael jordan to us because he would just i I mean, he was older than everyone, so he always won at 21. And it just pissed us all off.

It made me and my other cousins and my brother, like we would practice basketball. Like he made us good basketball players, I would say, because he beat our ass so bad that we wanted to one day be able to beat him and we did that's a fucking good it caught up to him and then uh you know we'd play football every thanksgiving and he's starting to become a non-factor he yeah he was he's been he's been dominated now strider who is your legend of the week? Dude, my legend of the week's got to be my GF because, dude, on freaking this past Sunday, dude, my GF wakes me up early, dude. It's like early.

I'm like, what's going on? What's going on? There's another equake. And it's like, nah, dude. Freaking wakes me up, takes me to this dank brewery. I get a double IPA, and we watch the freaking Women's World Cup champion game, dude. And I got my GF this dank jersey, dude, to wear for the USA team.

So she was sporting that jersey, which got me fired up. And it was cool to watch that game. And the brewery that had good energy had the game on. Everyone's fired up when we won, dude. Watch them Rapinoe drill it. Watch them frickin' Rose Lavelle drill it, dude. And just, so I was stoked on that, dude. Didn't expect that from IGF. At first, I was a little cranky

getting up. I was like, oh, it's early. Totally. And then got there and was fired up. So, oh, yeah, just stoked. Definitely my IGF, dude. Beautiful, man. Dude, my legend of the week is Denzel Washington. For my money, the greatest combination of actor and movie star.

And he's been killing it for 40-some years now. I mean, Glory, now 30 years. No, 30, 30. Well, 35 years. But Glory in 1989, what a tremendous performance. I love the 54.

Then, you know, later stuff with Training Day and Flight and even weird movies like Virtuosity with Russell Crowe. And I was watching Training Day. And it was the hurricane? later stuff with training day and flight and even weird movies like virtuosity with russell crowe and i was watching training and it was the hurricane that's yeah i won an oscar for that i was in a remember the titans i'm in mexico watching training and i'm just watching ethan hawk and denzel washington two beasts just doing a scene together and then denzel washington has to look badass when he punches ethan hawk and he ugh. He looked so badass throwing the punch.

He's such a good actor that he knows how to become a guy who's really cocky when he's beating the hell out of someone. It's just all performance. I was like, dude, Denzel, I love you, man. I could watch you do anything. You got all the charisma in the world, but you also got the substance behind it, and you are my legend of the week. Fire.

Hell yeah. Thanks, Denzel. All right, Chad, what is your quote of the week? My quote of the week comes from R. tencel all right chad what is your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from uh rip to rip torn oh good one dude this dude was uh if you didn't know rip torn he played um already on larry sanders he was uh men in black he was tom green's dad and freddie got fingered. He was in Dodgeball. What's the character's name? Patrick. Patrick O'Houlihan.

Yeah, yeah. Patches O'Houlihan. Patches O'Houlihan. Patches O'Houlihan. That's what it was. He was just a hilarious guy. Always brought it. And my voice just cracked.

Yeah. Sounded nice. Thank you. Yeah, my quote is from Patches O'Houlihan. Holy hell, son. You're about as you. Yeah. My quote is from patches of hula hand. Holy hell, son. You're about as useful. Sorry.

Holy hell, son. You're about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop. Do you rip torn? There's also a video of him in a Norman Mailer movie back in the day, just stoned out of his mind and him and Norman Mailer are going to do a fist fight. And I think it's real. And you just see Rip Torn tweaking out.

Dang. And him and Dennis Hopper almost got into a knife fight in the 70s. Epic. Yeah. That was the best part of the 70s. Yeah, the 70s was a different time in Hollywood. Joe, you got a quote yet? Yeah, yeah.

Got it. You on it? Yeah, baby. Every next level of your life will demand a different you well said yeah it's just an inspirational quote i just found it because of a two percent battery so strider what is your quote of the week all right dude my quote of the week you can probably guess what movie it's from based on who it's from. And it's somewhat timely. But here we go. And I'm paraphrasing. I'll probably mess it up a little bit.

But here it goes. It's from Casey Poe. My birthday is July 14th. Oh, yeah. And my daddy comes home on July 14th. And then counter quote, dude, from Cameron Poe. Those pink puff balls you got me made me quite popular in prison to break out the fine china and roll out the red carpet because this cowboy is coming home

coming home for good dude you could do con air ones all day man that's such a quotable movie great freaking because i thought you were gonna do why couldn't you put the bunny back in the back oh dude fire moment dude fire moment aaron do you have one from Con Air? I see you over there. It was for sure going to be put the bunny back in the box. You got to put the bunny back in the box. Why couldn't you put the – Now, I didn't know. Now, there was 260 cats on cell block, D, and I didn't know 259 at all.

Or what about, it ain't my ties and Yahtzee but let's do it or i'm gonna show you god does exist saris it's it's your barbecue and it smells good break out the fran channel dude nick cage is jacked in that movie yeah he put on the gun show cameron poe what a hero dude a legend dude his crime was defending his wife's honor dude with his freaking government trained fists that's i think the biggest it's a pretty wild movie but like the fact that he would go to jail for that you're like really yeah yeah what was what he was five drunk guys like accost him and his wife outside and he does the 1990s ultimate kill shot move the open palm strike to the nose which back in the day everyone used to say if you that, it sent so much blood to your brain that you died.

I don't think that's actually how it works, but that was in multiple movies. Yeah. And he did that to a lecherous asshole outside. Who had a knife? Who had a knife? Yeah, dude. What type of,

what state was that in? Aaron, if a guy's got a knife on you, you're putting him down like that, right? For sure i could see aaron coming through just oh of course are you kidding me dude the upshot to the schnoz um all right guys my quote of the week uh is inspired by david foster wallace who's um probably my favorite writer a lot of a lot of guys like david foster wallace he's a beast you know he deserves the the rep but uh someone's like if you could only recommend one book what would it be and i would say it's his book a supposedly fun thing i'll never do again but then i would also read the

biography about him by dt max and this poem about him by mary carr the the she's like a big memoir writer and they used to date and i guess he was kind of psycho with her so it's good to get the context but she says um with words you ought to shape a world alternate to the one that dared inscribe itself. So ruthlessly across your eyes for you could not, could never fully refute the actual or justify the sad heft of your body. Whoa. Yeah. It's intense.

Dang. She went after him. That was after he killed himself. She went after him hard. Yeah. She didn't pity the fool. I pity the fool. But I think that's because they had a real relationship so for her it wasn't about just like uh she calls it the saint david

thing that happened after he died she had to keep it real and yeah she's brutally good at doing that all right that's it that's what's up yeah it's 259 we timed this perfectly perfect all right dudes i'll be it for episode 81 I think of going deep in chat and JT thank you guys so much for being stokers aww thank you for Strider Joe thank you for coming in yeah thank you for having us

thank you dudes and uh guys keep writing those reviews and uh keep stoking in with stoke. I'll see you later. Thanks, Stokers. If you need advice, these guys are really nice.

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