Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 90 - Manscaped Reads, Andrew Luck, Pluto

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

What up stokers, in this episode we cover a variety of dank topics. We discuss Andrew Luck's surprise retirement, the status of our dawg Pluto as a planet, screenwriter legend Paul Schrader, and the effect that different types of exercise have on your fricken heart! Dive on in, stokers. Check out our t-shirts at www.chadgoesdeep.com

what's your theme daddy what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre Jean-Thomas. What up? What up, dude? Boom, clap, Stokers. Dude, I like the caveman coffee mug. Yeah, and I'm drinking coffee now. Yeah, how long you been doing that? I switched like a week ago. How do you feel? Good. I also want a house of beer right now. You're just feeling everything? Yeah. Are you amped and that's why you want to get, you to get jacked off substance? I think I have an increase in agita in a good way because I've been more disciplined with my other vices.

Oh, nice. Yeah, so the other ones are poking through a bit more. Dude, yeah. There is something about when you start making strides in other areas of your life and just accomplishments. Yeah. You want to jack up, for me personally, caffeine intake and just all kinds of things, and you just want to drive really fast to Kenny Loggins songs.

Yeah. Well, that's a rush. That's adrenaline. Yeah. Yeah. Probably the purest kind. Yeah. What Loggins song?

Probably standard, you know, Danger Zone. I'll throw on some Footloose. I'm Free. Do you know that one?. I'll throw on some Footloose. I'm Free. Do you know that one? Oh, dude. Yeah. All day. I know it's not...

Heaven favors the man who takes his chance. Right, yeah. Come on. I know it's not a login song, but playing with the boys. Yeah. Basically just the Top Gun soundtrack. When I haul in my hybrid, people are like, that guy is green and jacked. Yeah, you're

joyous yeah yeah dude i i love uh spreading joy via the car yeah like i like it when someone looks into my car and they laugh because i'm like getting after it so hard yeah yeah i'm like then i laugh at myself i'm like you and me both brother i know it is it really elevates life i think when you can have a good time by yourself in the whip what have you been jamming to? the new Taylor Swift album has been getting a lot of run it's been fire have you listened to the new Taylor Swift album?

no I haven't it's fire I'll take it out I'll probably throw a lot of questions to you I'll turn it off cool guys we got Emma on the mic Emma and four and we throw a lot of questions at aaron mostly when we hit like philosophical quandaries that we can't work ourselves through

i got it we call in big aaron aaron's got some good life advice he's a beast aaron ocratis and you'll you'll be emma stottle oh i love it cool Cool. Nice job. Thanks. I, uh... But yeah, the new T-Swift album is, uh, it's been burning a hole in my ears. I like it. Yeah, I've really only listened to a couple songs. Um, I was in Vegas with Caroline, and she played, um, he, I

think he knows, like, probably a hundred times. The opening jam off the album? Yeah. I haven't listened to that one as much. I've listened to a lot to Lover, and then the one, the duet she does with the dude from Panic. Oh, Sweet. Yeah. Dude, how was the wedding?

Yeah. It was good. I was thinking since she might be on the next one, I might dive into that. Okay. With her. Yeah, yeah. Cool. Just so we have something to talk about.

And by her, he means Chad's lovely paramour, Caroline, will be on the pod. I'll do paramour. Be on the next pod. Thank you, Doug. I didn't know that was a, I just thought that was a Papa Roach song word. Yeah, I think it means, it is. But I think it means you're a partner. Oh, wow.

Papa Roach. Papa Roach just goes deeper and deeper the more I learn about them. Yeah, we're really working through the pop culture canon with the people we've mentioned so far. How do you think they came up with that name? Papa Roach? I swear, this must be it. I'm pretty confident that his dad's nickname was Roach. And they just named it after him.

Dude. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't think about that at all. I thought they saw Cockroach and they're like, that one must be the leader. Like I think Leonard Skinner, they had a PE teacher named Leonard Skinner

and they just named their band after him. Oh really? band would be called mr fee yeah i'd be coach brandenburg yeah i got in trouble one time for uh arguing with my p teacher we both got called into the office so you know when you have like a young teacher yeah so they're not old enough yet to like feel different than you so you kind of you know you can get away with stuff because they're kind of still immature yeah the best thing about younger teachers i always had that feeling like you know you can be a little more uh you can just act a little bit crazier in class but the most heartbreaking thing is when the young teacher would drop the hammer on you and punish you yeah like i had uh mr abbott he um although my friend was in the wrong he drew

a risque photo um a bush and i think the most wrong thing about it was that it wasn't well trimmed yeah and uh he saw it and he almost suspended us but you know what he didn't suspend us so i gotta say he stayed in his element he's just tried to scare you a little bit. He's like, you guys are getting in really big fucking trouble for this. Yeah, I was super tight with one. I've talked about her before on here, Miss Breen. She was my English teacher when I was 18, and she was only 21. Because at a private school, you don't have to have your full teaching credential.

Yeah. Which is kind of hilarious. And yeah, we were thick as thieves. I'd stay in her class after school and we just talk about like life and stuff. And then, uh, I ended up like cheating on one of her papers and this fucking guy in the

class, Toby, like she was like, I'm going to give you guys another paper if you guys don't keep it down. And I was like, I didn't care. And then, and then everyone kept talking and then she's like,

I'm really going to give you another paper. And then I was like, yeah, whatever. And then Toby was like, yeah, you don't care, Park, because you'll just buy another essay off the internet. And then she just looked stunned. Yeah.

And she walked back to her desk, like, comatose. And I was so, like, embarrassed. And I was like, oh, please, Miss Breen, can I talk to you after class? And she was like, yeah. And, yeah, she was really hurt. I fucked up big. I fucked up big. But you came clean.

After I got caught. And dude, it was sad, too, because she gave me back the paper. She was like, you crushed was really hurt. I fucked up big. I fucked up big. But you came clean. After I got caught. And dude, it was sad, too, because she'd give me back the paper. She's like, you crushed it on this. This reminded me a lot of my college papers. Oh, damn. Yeah. That's heartbreaking. I thought, well, it's good.

Yeah, at least he didn't deny it. You're like, I don't know what. What was his name? Toby. I don't know what Toby's talking about. His name's fucking Toby. And I still talk to Ms. Bree once in a while. She's the shit.

She just had her fifth kid. Congrats. I remember I had a math teacher, Gwen. And she's gone through a tough time in her life. I believe a divorce. Yeah. Sorry, Gwen. But she would just get hammered. And, you know, this is when I lived in Spain.

And she was American, too. So she would just like get hammered. And it was kind of a whole sad situation. But I always had this you know i hated math so i was like she'd be like all right you gotta like try on this test i'm like quench we got fucked up yeah like come on right we were at the pub the other night just dropping heinekens and you want me to like do algebra like let's you know let's get it together here yeah and uh i ended up getting a c yeah you're

not gonna fail kids after they've seen you drunk yeah i think that i was i was like there's no way like she was more blacked out than i was so dude actually the teacher who like i was gonna get kicked out of school no matter what but when i was in my review period he was my summer school teacher and they were when i was in the review meeting they were like why do we expect you to behave better after this moment and i was like because i'm on uh riddlin now so i'm not acting up as much which was a lie and they were like well if we asked your summer school teacher if you've been acting better what would he say and i was like oh fuck because i got kicked out of his class that day oh so i was like he'd say i was acting better i just like let it ride and then i went into class the next day i

was like what'd you tell me he's like i told him you're horrible i told him you're like acting up all the time and i was like fuck so they they asked me not to come back to the school which is like slightly different than getting expelled and then um and then i saw him like five years later at a bar and i'm with a bunch of like my friends who are girls and he comes up and he's wasted he just goes i'm not your teacher anymore to all the chicks and we're like oh is that all he said yeah he did like a shot with us it wasn't too bad but it was like he was he was he was looking to get down i remember our principal it was like a running joke that at the end of every eighth grade graduation jesse would get hammered but he was like a running joke that at the end of every eighth grade graduation,

Jesse would get hammered, but he was like a hard ass, you know? Right. He'd be like, I'd always show up late with my mom. Cause we're the dynamic duo. And we're just like, get there on time.

I'm going to shower. Um, and, um, I'd always show up late and like, I'd be like running, you know, to class.

And he'd be like, Mr. Kroger, tuck in that shirt why are you late again i'm like jesse what are we doing here yeah i had a good i was able to i was i was like the only student in that school not to be braggy but i was like the only student who was able to be tardy consistently and not get strikes yeah always like i got out of strikes sometimes by just begging for mercy but yeah there was something about me where everyone was like you're on your way out well

i just i think that the key is just to sort of laugh it off and just play dumb she'd be like what yeah and they're like wait what and i'm like yeah what bitch i thought about that too where i was like if because like in college i i uh i'm not proud of this but like i i i plagiarized a couple things on papers you know and i was like if i get caught i'm just gonna be like i didn't know you weren't allowed to do that and just act so straightforward stupid you know yeah i literally i didn't know you weren't allowed to do that like that's plagiarism i'm like it's the first i'm hearing of it you wrote an entire essay from hemingway yeah that's not the assignment i'm like yeah but i found that essay and it was really good so i thought i would just

send it in so you guys would like it more so you thought you'd turn an old man in the sea for your thesis yeah i know it's not the best book but i thought you guys would like it a little bit all right well um yeah then they're like look i talked to par we interrogated him he doesn't get it yeah look um i guess you get an a then he's an innocent yeah we can't kick him out look he doesn't get it dude i had my friend robbie gave this other guy on the football team his homework to copy the fucking kid photocopies it and then just crosses out my friend's name and writes his above so robbie gets called into the principal's office they're like did you cheat with uh this guy on your homework and then robbie's like no i

didn't do that and then they hand him the thing it just is his name crossed off he's like what the fuck dude you dumbass he turned these in together yeah it was all funny for some reason my dad scared me the most about getting caught cheating yeah well that's a bad bad black mark on your yeah history yeah because if you're boozing you know they're like oh you're just boozing like you're a teenager but right if you get cheating that he's like it compromises your integrity yeah and you'll never get into college you're unethical. Yeah. Yeah. It is bad. Yeah. So that's my thoughts on cheating.

Dude, you know what I think I'm going to do after this? What? Join a rock climbing gym. Oh, yeah. You were talking about that today. Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome to come, dude.

I want to. My shoulder's still a little jacked up, but I'm getting there, though. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to start bouldering. No rope. Yeah, that's fun. Tons of chalk.

Which one are you going to? Hollywood Boulder. I've been there before. It's fun. Tons of chalk. Which one are you going to? Hollywood Boulder. I've been there before. It's cool. It's cool? I haven't been in. For some reason, I've had this block. I love rock climbing, and I've always wanted to join a gym.

And I always had in my mind, I'm like, at some point in my life, I'm going to join a fucking rock climbing gym. And that time is now. The time is now. Yeah, and it's such a good workout, too. You work on your grip. Yeah, grip strength is now. The time is now. Yeah, and it's such a good workout, too. You work on your grip. Yeah, grip strength is huge. I mean, you want core strength and you want grip strength.

Yeah. So I'm pumped on that. That's play strength. Yeah. That'll be cool. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

What's going on with you? Nothing, dude. I went to Utah this past weekend for all right how was that it was good dude 16 guys it looked like so much fun yeah we have a dinner the first night and then it's just like well so first we fly to utah and on my plane is um and i want strider to talk about this too but uh because he was with me but there's all these kids who are from the church of latter-day saints mormons and they they're in America for the first time in two years. They've all been doing their mission spreading the word in Japan.

They're like the nicest kids on earth. They were like, oh, dude, what should we get up to? I was like, In-N-Out. You've got to go to In-N-Out. I didn't really know what to recommend, and so I was like, In-N-Out. They were like, okay, for sure, for sure. And then we just kept chatting about their experiences over there, and then we land, and we start walking through the terminal.

And then all their families are there to greet them. And everyone's crying because you realize, oh, they haven't seen him in two years. That's crazy. It was beautiful. Yeah. It was like a really nice. I was like, oh, the ritual is beautiful. And then we get into an Uber.

And I don't want to miss the dinner with all the guys. And there's like four of us in the Uber. And we do a dinner that first night at this place called High West, and all the guys are together, and my buddy Matt, who's kind of coordinating everything, is like, hey, I think you might miss it. So we get into this Uber, and I'm like, yo, dude, I'm talking to him in Spanish.

I'm like, I need you to drive fast, and I'll give you $40 right now, plus what we're paying you in the five stars to drive fast. He's like, no worries, I got you. We get on the freeway, and he's doing 45, and like 18 wheelers are passing us. So I'm like, senor, por favor, más rápido. And then he's like, no, no, no, it's all good. I'm going to get you there.

But I'm looking at the GPS on my phone, and he's adding minutes to the time. There's no traffic. So I start to get frustrated, and then Schreier's like, no, chill, dude, I think he's got eye problems. So I try to ask him like super politely, but I'm like, excuse me, me senor no estoy bromeando i'm not joking but do you have a problem with your eyes your ojos and uh i'm a little nervous

and then he goes no and i'm like oh shit he's like you got a problem with your fucking eyes i'm like no no no mi culpa my fault i'm sorry um and then he keeps driving so and so at one point i'm being kind of a hard ass but i'm like dude you're gonna you're getting us there like 10 minute after 10 minutes after the estimate like you're going slower i'm like i'm gonna need the 40 back and he's like all right so then we get there and i'm like i need the 40 bucks back and he's like no and then i snapped yeah i was like and then uh and then he forged it over. So, you know. Well, he went under the speed limit.

Yeah, and we still paid him for the Uber ride and gave him the five stars. Yeah. But we get up in there, we have a great dinner, everyone's wild, and I was such an animal the year before, and we had the same waitress.

I was like on my, she actually came up to me during the dinner. She's like, are you on your best behavior this year? I was like, yeah, I'm trying. Because like last year when she came into the room, I was making like a really inappropriate joke to a friend. And I was like, I felt bad.

So I was like, oh, fuck. So I tried harder this year. But then we had the draft the next day. Me and my brother, 14 team league, bigger than usual. I got a squad. My brother and I drafted so well together. So badass. And then the best part about

it is we just have so many like customs that we do around it like we sang the national anthem and we did a flag raising which was yeah it looks so much fun yeah our friend luke made up a song we give out trophies for a bunch of different stuff guys announce if they're getting married or having kids oh yeah yeah it's beautiful and then um yeah when you texted me that you were singing that i thought that was so funny yeah it was great dude and um yeah when you texted me that you were singing national i thought that was so funny yeah it was great dude and it really gets you in the spirit of it yeah brooks sang the national anthem holding his first place trophy from last year over his heart yeah my buddy andrew came even though he's not even in the fantasy football league just oh he just came yeah and

dude so he him and trevor are cooking food for everybody yeah and andrew gets like too creative in the kitchen like he makes good stuff but he'll overdo it so i see him just pulling millions of sauces out of the fridge and i'm like andrew bro i so much appreciate you cooking but you're cooking for everyone dude just keep the sauce simple dude please he's like bro i got it and i'm like i know dude but you're pulling like mayonnaise and like worcester sauce and like jalapenos and mango and all this different shit i'm like just chill bro just keep it simple please and then of course it comes out too spicy it was good but like i at one point i dead serious ago your creativity is selfish i'm sorry dude i'm just trying to protect the pork shoulder and yeah that's priority number one yeah and then my my dog trevor partied the hardest

you're a legend that's awesome That sounds like so much fun. It was fun, dude. Yeah. Does Andrew feel left out because he's not drafting? Yeah, he does. One time we went to dinner with our buddy Ross's mom and it came up and he got really mad at the dinner. Really?

And made such a big deal of it that it became embarrassing. The restaurant had to tell us to keep it down. But he's not a football fan. He knows nothing about football. He was a good football player. He's a good athlete. But he's just not passionate about football. I mean, I love the guy.

I want him to come to every fantasy football draft. But yeah, maybe we're punking him, but I don't think so. Yeah. I did a fantasy football league one year. I fucking tanked. Really? I didn't even check it. I was with our buddy Rob. He's like, you want to join this year? I'm like, sure. Oh, Vortrees is a league football league one year. I fucking tanked. Really? I didn't even check it. I was like, I was with our buddy Rob.

He's like, you want to join this year? I'm like, sure. Oh, Vortrees is here? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And he's like, he's like, who do you want to draft? I'm like, what? Just do the automatic.

The auto draft? Yeah. So I just did the auto draft. Didn't check it. I was in last place, I believe. Yeah. Like if you do auto draft in our league, we like. You're kicked out.

We jettison you I believe. Yeah, like if you do auto draft in our league, we like... You're kicked out. We jettison you, yeah. Yeah. Dude, I was talking to my college buddies about doing a reunion trip. Oh, nice. The cream pie house. Yeah. It's coming back together. But we're trying to figure out where to go.

Stokers, do you have any ideas for where to go? I got some ideas. I was thinking Scottsdale. Yeah, what do you think? Scottsdale's good. I think Nashville's good. Austin's good. Think about that. New Orleans is good austin's good yeah denver's good i think you know i'm gonna go i'm gonna go like south so i want i want like warm weather yeah i'd go somewhere where the outdoors are nice yeah i i've gone to scottsdale i love scottsdale got big steak

in scottsdale uh austin sounds dope i've been in nashville but i was blacked out the whole time so i don't remember so basically i haven't been to nashville but i do love their how much light that's all i remember yeah but nashville remembers you yeah for sure mark i woke up naked on my brother's couch oh that's the best and he's like you should get tested yeah when you wake up naked yeah you're just like what the fuck you have like a sit down with me you know when you're blacked out and like all morale is low and he's like look are you getting tested you need it i was like what yeah scared me but now i get tested and i'm fine i've told buddies when they're super fucked up i'm like you're too fucked up yeah yeah i'm like

you gotta rein it in a little bit yeah um which coming from your brother though i feel like it's just like you it's like you're like oh fuck you know what i mean it's deeper you know what i tell my younger brother because he rages a little bit harder than i do now yeah i'll just like look after him i'm like hey be careful and drink a lot of water right yeah yeah but i think the subtext of that is is like hey man yeah keep it cool you know what i mean yeah there's a lot of meaning in that yeah it's it's almost like they they know you so well so they when they see you're parting too hard they can pinpoint it and then just drive the needle in and you're like oh yeah i had like a crazy blacked out night and the next day my brother

was like that wasn't cool really yeah and i'd been getting text messages from people that would be like dude you were hilarious yesterday and my brother was like do not listen to them you listen to me it was not cool yeah yeah it was bad he's like it was bad bad bad um dude but speaking of football um one of the articles we covered, and big story in sports right now, Andrew Luck, 29-year-old quarterback. When he was in college, he was ordained the quarterback of the future

for the next decades and just was like a can't-miss stud. Biggest prospect since John Elway. Retiring. Yeah. Out of the league, just not enjoying it anymore. Yeah. Our buddy Nick had a good take on it.

What'd he say? Well, he's like a Venice guy, and he's more like spiritual, and he's all about, you know, he'll say things like, I have my opinions on Western medicine. You know what I mean? He's a great guy. I love him. Yeah, he's the best.

We had the best conversation. He's a lovely guy. And he was like, yeah, it was was so beautiful his retirement you know because he's like look this is taking a toll on my body and i've chosen to preserve my body because i'm sort of a renaissance man or whatever he's like i have a smart degree from stanford i can do all these things and i want my acls intact when I do them and I was like that's a really nice perspective I understand the fans are pissed but I like that this guy's taking charge and he's like I've gotten all I can out of football I'm gonna lead an interesting life

and I don't want to be fucked up when I do it yeah which I thought was nice yeah it is nice how do you feel about it though I like it i like anytime someone's doing what they want um it's like uh it's bad timing because it's just a couple weeks before the season but like who cares yeah yeah i think the fantasy people are pissed yeah i think at the end of the day no one's gonna be looking out for him the team's not looking out for him yeah all the fans who love him they're not really looking out for him. The team's not looking out for him. Yeah. All the fans who love him, they're not really looking out for him. So he's just got to look out for himself.

And it's consistent. Like, Barry Sanders, Calvin Johnson, Jim Brown, all these legends retired at about 30. Yeah. Just because of Ricky Williams. I mean, he was kind of had to leave because he had so many failed weed tests. But they just want to do other things. Yeah.

Do you think a year from now, he'll be like, fuck. I do. I think he might come back. Yeah. Do you think he'll, a year from now, he'll be like, fuck. I do. I think he might come back. Yeah. Yeah. I do. Yeah.

I've heard it. I've heard it was, it's being compared to Jordan's 93 retirement. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was,

I've been thinking a lot about when Jordan did that and cause I'm trying to do a bit right now about Tiger Woods. Yeah. Cause like when he was close to his peak at as a golfer he like seriously considered leaving golf to become a navy seal and it's like yeah like fulfillment is a slippery thing so yeah go wherever you got to go to get it but i mean with andrew luck like dude he had a lacerated kidney oh really yeah so you're pissing blood oh that's like jason dude dan levitard wrote an article about Jason Taylor, this fucking beast defensive end for the Dolphins,

good-looking dude too, where he would have to sleep on his staircase with his leg and body contorted at a specific angle just to sleep to alleviate pressure on his leg. And I think I'm remembering this accurately. There's even one section in the article where the doctor was like, yeah, we have to like cut off your leg or you'll die.

Damn. And then he's like, no, leave it. Because he just could not give up football. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I mean, I can't even imagine the pain those guys are in. Yeah. I think Jerome Bettis said he could only walk one day out of the week.

And that was Sunday. Like during season. Man. And the rest of the week, like when he's like 30, he's got a cane. Yeah. Because his body's just through so much suffering. And there's nothing worse than when your health is impaired. It just fucks everything up.

Yeah, you're in a bummer mood. Yeah, it's so hard to operate at like a full level just mentally. It's just like a cloud hanging over you. And even times when i have like minor things going on because i get i'm so sensitive with that shit i'm just such a baby i'm like me too i'm like i've got an infection all right just i don't want to go to the wedding no your health's like the most important thing yeah dude this this monologist i love spaulding gray yeah brilliant dude his body got all fucked up i think in a car accident it's like the most important thing. Yeah. Dude, this, this monologist I love, Spalding Gray. Yeah.

Brilliant dude. His body got all fucked up, I think in a car accident. He ended up wheelcharing himself off a bridge. Really? Yeah. Damn. And he had like a brilliant interior life.

He was like the smartest guy around. Yeah. But he didn't give a fuck. If he couldn't move well, he was just kind of over it. But I mean, that's not, I'm not saying that's cool.

Like if you're, you know, effed up, try and figure it out, you know, and you can still have a super meaningful life. you're you know effed up try and figure it out you know and you can still have a super meaningful life but you know if you're valuing your health and you don't want to put yourself through more of that don't do it did wheelcharing yourself that takes a lot of willpower yeah he might have just walked it but i like the image yeah the wheelchair it's funnier yeah yeah if you saw someone doing that you'd be like this is kind of funny yeah dude i'm so hyped for the football season though i've just been watching highlights nfl does like a top 100 players

breakdown as voted on by the players yeah it does like five minute like uh little vignettes on on all the studs and i just marvel at their physical grace, their intelligence and their fucking joy in laying hat. It's the best, dude. I love basketball but I love football the most.

It's the best. Even though it causes a lot of suffering for the players and it's, you know, hard on them. I appreciate your sacrifice, dude because it gets me fucking jacked.

Gladiators. They really are. Yeah. They're the best of us. I really think football players are the coolest people on earth. You think they're the best? Yeah. I think they're the most special athletes.

I mean, I think mixed martial arts is harder as a sport, but I don't think the same caliber of athlete is in mixed martial arts. I think the best athletes are football players. And you could argue with me all day and and you know there's no right answer but i just think the combination of size and and athleticism that the premier players have is completely on another level yeah yeah like aaron donald dude fuck man i'm trying to think of what i think of like other sports yeah i mean gymnasts gymnasts what about gym freaks yeah they're insane yeah simone biles is a freak dude she's amazing i remember in

uh in elementary school i crushed on this girl she was a gymnast but what's interesting about is like since your height because you keep landing on your your vertebra vertebrae? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're like. Squishing it down. Yeah, I'm going to be like a jacked little ball of muscle. Yeah. But I'm going to have great balance and I'm going to dominate the rings. Well, I fought Puzio, the guy I fought. He was a gymnast.

He was a gymnast. Yeah. Yeah, he did the rings, I think. Yeah. Did he do like breakdancing moves when you were brawling? He was like that. Yeah, he had that kind of like uh uh coordination and movement i could see him doing like a flying kick and then like landing and giving a pose i did when i put him

on his back he up kicked me and i was like damn i didn't see that foot coming yeah yeah who do you think are the best athletes ever i was gonna say gymnasts really blow my mind like you said but also sometimes watching like really competitive swimmers is kind of fascinating yeah because it's not like we're not built for the water yeah but like those people are for some reason yeah and swimming too requires so much mental toughness yeah you want to have a high belly button to be a good swimmer i think that helps with buoyancy really interesting i've never thought about the placement of my belly button while i'm in the water, but maybe I will. And some people have the better distribution of torso to leg to create that nice balance as they cut through the water.

Maybe that's why Coach Moon made me do the 500. Absolutely. Which actually brings us to our next article, which was about runners versus swimmers' hearts. Yeah. So they're studying how sports sports specific training affects the shape of your heart and basically the left ventricle depending on what sport you do can change like if you're a rower you have like a super jacked left ventricle that has like extra muscle on it but it doesn't twirl around as nimbly to to release blood as a runner's does because a

runner has like a more fine they describe it as like a sponge it like yeah it's like you wring out the sponge and that's all the blood i love that we're studying the musculature of the heart because now i'm like dude i want to do a sport that gives me a jack sexy heart right yeah dude i um and it was interesting about how they're like ultimately runners have the stronger ventricle or rhythm thing over the um because of gravity yeah they have to push it through you know because swimmers they're horizontal so it's easier to pump the blood to get pumped through but when you're vertical your heart has to pump it all the way up to your freaking dome so that takes a bigger punch from that muscle and you do both i do both yeah i want them to study your heart, yeah.

And then rock climbing. See if you got that jack slash ripped heart. Yeah, with chalk on it. I just imagine like bringing Sally back to the place and we're getting intimate and I pull my shirt off and then I'm like, I'm not done yet. And then I wheel in an etiocardiogram and I'm like, look at this heart, babe.

And then we just go over it and just marvel at how jacked my left ventricle has become. want to act that out yeah sure hey babe hey hey lover what's going on oh i'm just getting hot for you you want to oh that's nice yeah give you an extra forward today i appreciate that i was thinking maybe we could put on like the bgs and get funky oh absolutely thanks all right yeah hey later joe we're going to head into my room for a bit. Yeah, I'll see you. Later. Have fun boning.

Whoa. Easy killer. Thanks, Joe. You're so sweet, honey. Thanks. All right. What's up? How was your day?

It was good. You know, I was just, you know, waxing poetic about the universe and just thinking about your dong. Oh, man. Yeah yeah i don't mind hearing that thanks babe um real quick side tangent dude my voice when i talk to a girl because like when i was talking to anastasia ashley on the last episode i'm so much more chill i'm like what up oh that's cool yeah you surf for sure yeah surfing's legit yeah you travel too yeah like i don't get as excited oh yeah yeah for sure hong kong yeah very cool city what's it like getting so much male attention yeah i kind of like know more stuff

i'm like oh that's very provocative yeah yeah um yeah babe come in here let me rip my t off real quick wow how do i look manscaped thank you babe before we go any farther what's this it's an ediocardiogram they check it to make sure your valves are healthy is that for double penetration no no no no what's it for it's for like ischemia and other kind of heart defects but sometimes you just do it to show somebody how fucking jacked you are ischemia yeah heart defects yeah it's a degenerative condition that you get in your heart valves. It can be born with or you can get it through poor lifestyle choices, typically with stimulants. Does it vibrate? The audiocardiogram?

Mm-hmm. No, but you can look at my heart. You got to squeeze on a little baby oil or gel? Just some kind of gel. How's that heart look, babe? I don't know what I'm looking at. You're looking at my left ventricle. That I've been shaping for a while now, just thinking about you. That heart pumps for you, babe.

60 beats a minute. Pretty healthy. I'm not as healthy as I could be. Marathon runners get into the 50s. Yeah, I thought you were in the 50s i'm working on it i feel like i'm looking at like a um you know freaking um i feel like i'm in a doctor's office right now yeah you are sort of you're making me lose it oh no bummer dude i thought it would work better for you don't think she'll be into it probably not you're right it's not like classically romantic i just didn't know how to react because i'm a dude because as a dude i was like yes right you were jack fuck yeah dude your heart is jacked as a lady i was like no she cares about cardiovascular health

yeah we have shared values maybe she was maybe i was thinking like more she was like i see the muscle right but what about the emotion oh like you want to see my heart yeah yeah like i call her and i'm like i'm like babe you want to see my heart yeah and she thinks i'm gonna like be vulnerable about something but i'm literally like, look at my left ventricle. That's an alpha move. You know who does that? Laird Hamilton. Yeah, he for sure does.

And I think him and Gabby Reese are on the same page when it comes to that stuff. They just sit there and fucking eddy-o-cardiogram each other's hearts while they fucking rub golf balls under their feet and have two masseuses do karate chops on their traps. As they're trapped in ice. Yeah, as they're in their ice bedroom.

Yeah, that's 26 degrees. Their kids come in wearing full ski suits to say goodnight to mom and dad. What else, dude? What did you think about this pluto business some nasa scientists are trying to say pluto's a planet again um confusing stuff you know space is one tricky motherfucker sorry to curse i know you guys don't want us to curse as much sorry the dudes at work um to their bosses um i was just saying

that because i'm so jacked on the universe and you should be too and you should give the guy listening a raise um yeah it was interesting about how they're like you know back in the day when people just would just look at objects in the universe they'd be like that's a planet yeah and now it's so we have more terminology yeah and more parameters but it's also like not clear what makes a planet like it has to be of a certain size it has to orbit the sun and then it has to clear its neighborhood which is kind of just like a vague phrase they mean that the stuff orbits it it doesn't orbit the other stuff yeah and with pluto they're still like uncertain and now they've

created like a subset of planets dwarf planets yeah which is chill you know because you know dwarf planet planet all still planets yeah i got mad love for both i learned about the quipo belt yeah um there are a bunch of objects in there that are like just as big yeah they got some new they got some new places i hadn't heard of that sound pretty big and cool yeah it's sort of like the plants are like a fraternity and they're sort of like who do you know here right you know and it's like you're like dude we're planets like we fucking lift we're huge pluto knows it's a planet dude uh you want to get into some questions yeah should we oh we have manscape stories should we read these yeah let's do it so guys we've been doing a comp to see what's the best manscape story out there so these are all going to be regarding uh incidents with uh grooming

yes first off this dude says what up stokers i wanted to reach out and let you guys know you changed my life for the better last week i was listening to the pod decided to use the code go deep for the lawnmower 2., and it was the right move. While the package was in the mail, I started thinking it was too good to be true for there to be an electric razor that won't nick my snack, your sack, and your snack, given your preference. Sorry. I'm a multiple-time victim of this. Well, today, my Lawnmower 2.0 arrived, and I wanted to put it to the test. No guard used. After hacking the weeds, I left staring at a sack as bald as Stone Cold Steve Austin

without any nicks or damage caused to my unit. It's like my sack was reborn. Way to back a legit product, and I'm for sure going to share my experiences and the go-deep code with my boys. That was very positive. Yeah. What's up, guys? I never had good luck with manscaping, and have had many a rough time making it work

my worst experience had to be when i was in college i had been using a shaver same thing you use on your head and i kept nicking my balls so i asked some of my fraternity bros what they did well i'm not sure if he was fucking with me or not but one of my alumni brothers told me he used nair oh painful stuff that's chemicals on your sacral region he told me how he did it how often all the different ins and outs to make it easier and less painful since i wouldn't be using a buzzer so i figured what the hell he sounds like he knows what he's doing and it sounded so much easier than what i was doing trying to contort my body all over the place it is tough trying to get to the gooch so went to

walmart and got some nair it was a friday afternoon i had no class and figured it would be a good time to try and since no one was around using nair was a big mistake first off it smelled god awful and it was extremely repugnant and could be smelled everywhere i started on my nuts and taint and then spray it all over my ass between my legs everywhere even my pee hole after a minute it started burning so i immediately grabbed a towel and tried to wipe it off but no matter how much or quickly i wiped the burning continued to make matters worse it was sleeping seeping into some cuts and that i had from the nicks i had from shaving my dong so the burning and stinging were brutal and the only other thing i could think of was to jump in the shower so i grabbed my stuff just as i was ready

i heard my friend in the hallway with a few people say what's that smell he followed it down the hall and then he started screaming someone's using nair oh my god oh it's kevin hey everyone kevin is baiting his balls that wasn't the embarrassing part when i ran out of my room to the shower they blocked the bathroom door rude and kept asking if i was having an issue i was practically crying because it was burning so bad it felt like i ate a hot pepper and didn't wash my hands before taking a piss anyhow the shower didn't work no matter how long i stayed in there but i was able to get it bearable for the rest of the day and night i was very uncomfortable and no matter how many bud lights i slammed it was still there needless to say i learned my lesson and never used nair again i just went with a safer shaver and decided to risk the nicks anyhow not the craziest story

it's pretty crazy yeah it's crazy but wanted to share can't wait to hear others tell their tales thanks for making me laugh and help me get through the shitty commute to work to and from work kevin dude kevin so sorry for your dong and the chemicals that burned it yeah there's tricky man i do i always have this fear that people are gonna put an air in my like shampoo and conditioner yeah well i i believe you have that fear and i promise you i'll never let that happen thank you um i neared my chest one time and my nipples bled how'd that feel terrible dude also the other thing with nair like and i'm not even doing this as a company man for manscape i'm just being straight up 100 dude nair like you lose towels yeah because you gotta freaking do you like you like scrub the hairs off you once the chemical has done its work yeah and

then you're just looking at this nasty ass towel and you're like i'm not gonna be able to get all these fibers out of there yeah it's gross yeah it's it's kind of like uh archaic yeah it's not it's the most inconvenient way to do something that should be easy. Yeah. It's just straight chemicals. Yeah. Can't be good. No, it's no good.

Yeah. I'm sorry your dong went through that, and I'm glad you recovered, Kevin. Yeah, dude, you sound like you got a resilient peace dog, and I'm happy for you. What would you do if they reached out? Nair? Mm-hmm. Emma, do you think we should take Nair's money? No, Nair's a pretty garbage product.

I wouldn't promote it. Yeah, it kind of goes against our values, right? You know what? I'm trying to not be like, oh, yeah, yeah. But you're right. I wouldn't take their money. You're right. Yeah, I just feel like one of the few ways you can actually make your voice heard is

with your wallet. And so don't buy things from shitty companies. And like I guess don't promote shitty companies. Like Nair. Are there companies you don't buy from because you think they're unethical? I try not to buy from like Nestle. Nestle's a Swiss company? I'm not entirely sure where they're based.

But they're everywhere. It's like most candy bars, most like waters and sodas. And like they're all over the place. But they're everywhere it's like most candy bars most like waters and sodas and like they're all over the place but they're pretty awful and they steal water from like natural springs and small communities and like they're a pretty bad company oh yeah the the uh ceo he wanted to make water uh fucking privatized commodity or something yeah yeah yeah though there will be water wars at some point i'm sure of it it happened it's in that documentary we're talking about the corporation it happened in bolivia yeah they tried to uh make water like privatized in the whole fucking country but i'm probably getting some details wrong but they rebelled no yeah there was a i saw an article recently and i wish i could

remember where i saw it or what the town was but there was a small like town with a natural spring and nestle wanted to go in and take 1.2 million gallons out of the spring a day and the town was like no you're gonna fuck up our entire ecosystem sorry for cursing no we love it because it's passionate thank you but it's like they companies like that should you shouldn't be able to go steal a million gallons of water a day that's an insane amount of water yeah it's hard for me to even wrap my head around. I do know Nestle is the biggest company

in the world that's not from China or the United States. Wow. Yes. Yeah. Where are they from? Switzerland.

Yeah. They're tricky. Sneaky. Yeah, they don't declare their intentions often. Emma Stottle, thank you for dropping that knowledge

and wisdom on us. That was a bomb, bomb, beast drop. You're very welcome. Dude, if there are water wars, I'm going Team Fiji. Just calling it now. Right, yeah. I'm going to go back to my hometown and hope our natural spring is still there.

What's your hometown? I grew up in Exeter, New Hampshire. It's a small town on the seacoast. I know Exeter. Yeah. I applied to that high school. Oh, Phillips Exeter, the private school? I didn't get in. I didn't go there. I went to the high school oh phillips exeter the private school i didn't get in i didn't go there i went to the public school in the same town good call was

there ever any culture clashes between uh the private school kids and the kids who are from there yeah they used to just call us townies i mean they kind of they were it's a very uh rigorous private school they go to school six days a week it's run like a college they live in dorms they like had their own power grid they were like in downtown but not not really we used to fuck with them because they had two crosswalks that crossed the main street and they never stopped to let cars go so we would just like pretend like my cousin would slam on the brakes and i would throw myself at the windshield and scare the shit out of the people on the crosswalk nice just dumb pranks like that

nice but they were they were pretty much fine. Should we keep going with manscaped stories? Yeah. When I was a freshman in college, I thought it would be really frothy if I manscaped a Nike swoosh into my lawn.

I like this guy's words. I was seeing this girl who was really cool and seemed to really like my sense of humor, so I figured I'd roll with an original joke. Sense of humor, nice.

I plan to take her out at the end of the week, and if she was into it, hit bone town. Hard. At this time, we were just chilling Sense of humor, nice. Woke up early before class, got in the shower, and fired up my trimmer. The first line was atrocious. Damn. I had fucked up big time. In an attempt to fix it, I made it thicker, but ended up making it look like a big dick shaved above my dick. I was about to give up and shave it all off, but there was a problem. My trimmer was not the Lawn Mower 2.0. Damn.

And it wasn't waterproof. Standing in the shower with a dick shaved into my untrimmed pubes, my trimmer made a popping sound and then stopped working. That night, everything went perfectly. We were at my place and she was taking off my pants. The first thing she noticed was the very large, long hole in my pubes. Is that a dick? she exclaimed in a very non-stoked tone. She got up, said nothing, and Ubered home. The next day she texted me that she doesn't fuck with guys in cults. Two months later, she started dating women.

Jack. Damn. Did you shave a goat head into your pubes? Yeah, that's wild, dude. I don't date guys in cults. I respect that. Dude, I'm bummed that he didn't have the longboard 2.0 to get the proper nike swoosh oh yeah but maybe he dodged a bullet with someone it might not have been good for him

big ups to phil knight dude good logo yeah nike's like the goddess of something greek goddess of something pubes no no no no good guess though emma stottle do you know i don't know i can google it and nike's original name was blue ribbon let me see what google says all right thanks was the goddess of strength speed and victory yeah also known as the wing goddess that makes sense as to why the brand nike is nike yeah oh it's good stuff that's cool what's up stokers i'm interrupting this pod to let you know that we are once again brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for sponsoring the pod for keeping our trims pubed for making sure that our dong pieces are looking fresh

and well taken care of guys i, I'm sure you heard some of those stories, and it is a rough world out there. You're going into the gladiator's den when you're using regular razors, but when you use Manscaped, you're going on a cruise in the Caribbean with your dong, you know, because you're going to go in a safe environment. You're going to be on a nice cruise ship, aka the Lawn Mower 2.0. And it's going to take you smooth sailing right to Jamaica where you'll get a tan. And that's awesome.

I'm getting lots of good feedback from everyone on my manscaping. And yeah, I'm showing a lot of people about it and they love it. They're pumped for me. So JT, have you shown people your manscape? Yeah, I'm naked often. Oh, when I was in Utah

I jumped over a fire naked nice yeah and your pubes didn't catch on fire because they were trimmed correct and then dude my buddy Andrew posted a video of my roommate Greg doing it where his cock is visibly undulating yeah as he jumps

and then so in the morning I'm like yo Greg Andrew posted that video he was like Andrew what the fuck dude starts screaming and she's like what dude i knew if i asked you you wouldn't want me to post it i was like yeah i don't think that i don't think that's okay it's a funny picture to picture uh so guys don't let your don go wild it's time to get clean you dirty dogs use code go deep at manscape.com you'll get 20 off plus free shipping that's manscape.com use code go deep all right later um all right do we have more maybe maybe we should just balance it we'll do like a right another question then we'll come back yeah i was getting a little too i was like i can feel pews in my mouth dude that's what i mean by full i'm like

i'm literally feel like people are like feeding me this stuff yeah um i'm about to turn 22 and my quarter life crisis is heavy post high school life has been a complete bust and future prospects are less than optimal i flunked out of college due to a number of setbacks but primarily a lack of direction and anxiety for which i now take ssris i'm now attempting to reenter reenter university through preliminary programs i feel inadequate about where i am in the journey so i am regularly untruthful i lied to a recent romantic interest for months the lies i was telling was making me miserable and believed her judgment could have crippled me i broke it off with her several weeks ago and today i feel fucking gross and alone i am highly unmotivated to leave my bedroom hate my job don't know what i want for a career to stay in my old

passions regret losing the girl, haven't traveled anywhere and I cannot talk to my boys as I feel like my development has been stunted and until I reach the goal of a degree or optimistic career path, I will be unable to find contentment. I know I compare myself to others too much, but I feel this is inevitable being a twin who has achieved no comparable success.

I'm a major schmole. Bros, how do you recommend I stay motivated in the dark time and find the right path, get girl back find my passions again and be paul walker or at least myself again from jed dude i'm sorry you're going through that um but take it easy on yourself man you know you're doing fine you got your whole life ahead of you and i know you're doing fine. You got your whole life ahead of you. And I know you're in a rut right now, but my biggest advice would be to take action, get outside, start doing stuff, and that'll help get you out of your head. You know, you don't have to figure out your whole path just now. College majors, you know, it's good to find one that you're interested in but in the long run

i don't think they matter that much not not to like downplay but you know you don't have to figure it all out right now just go out and test experiment figure out what you like just take action get out there and do stuff yeah dude i dig someone who can let themselves have it, but I think you've let yourself have it enough and you're ready to move past it. I totally agree with Chad. You're good, dude. You're in rock solid position to explode into a happy life. And, you know, I think it's good. It sounds like you got high standards for yourself and that's legit, but let's not let that keep us from doing basic shit. That going to make us happy so like chad said take action get out there you know go to the gym push yourself to talk to some people

read some books and uh just enjoy life dog enjoy it because you're gonna do great i can tell you're smart you're gonna do great yeah you're a beast. It's like Brad was saying on our podcast two episodes ago. Brad Fuller, shout out, legend. Whatever, bro. With directors who do their first project, they're so hard on themselves and they're so stressed out about making the right move that they just don't do anything. Paralysis through analysis. Yeah, you just got to take action, take some risks, get out there. You were talking with the Nike guy.

Yeah. They went through a lot of failure building up that business. The whole company almost went belly up 25 different times. Yeah, dude, you just got to put yourself out there, and something will click. And then the stuff that doesn't click, you'll be like, well, I'm glad I tried. And now I'm going to go eat Taco Bell and be satisfied with the fact that I'm putting myself out there. Because life is not about the end result. It's about the journey.

You said that quote, I think. Yeah, I think it's true. I totally believe that. Should we do another pubes one now? Yeah, let's. What up, my fucking dog? So I got this super dank tale from college about my dong nice it was the first weekend back after winter break and me and my fucking dogs were about to get after it

naturally i had to chop down my winter break jungle so i hit the bathroom with the razor everything going smoothly then boom clap my dog i fucking sliced the underside of my shaft right on the vein oh all right so i think we're good on music okay that made me clench up yeah dude god damn dude i think uh i think what manscape was looking for was more like if you just had a patchy job right yeah but they should have seen this coming yeah so um you guys know what happened what happened i don't know what happened. What happened? I don't know what happened. Do I want to know what happened?

Do you want me to keep going? Finish, finish, yeah. After a quick panic, I wrapped my dong in paper towels, hoping it would stop. I don't think it did, because at the pregame, we were smoking super dank, dank buds, and all of a sudden, I looked down at my crotch, and it looked like I pissed my pants. I went to the bathroom in a dank-induced panic, pulled my pants down. It was a massacre. I came right out of the bathroom and notified my fucking boys

I was like dude my fucking dong I like that he was honest with everybody and that he's got friends he can trust yeah notified my fucking boys that my dong has been severely injured like a great dogs and like great dogs they did not really help but laughed at me as I was standing there leaking from my small dong piece

I like your honesty. Long story short, I went to the store, grabbed Band-Aids, and wrapped a Band-Aid around it, and it ended up being all right. I wasn't going to get anything anyway, so it was straight up. So it was straight, but the legend of Scar Dick was born that night. A story and name I will never live down. Peace, my fucking dogs. Love you guys. Fuck Puzio.

So, Scar Dick. Oh, God. Sorry you cut your dong but jesus the coolest guys in history had scars so your dong is like russell crowe and gabelle gladiator fuck jesus christ fuck um me and strider were doing vertical 69 one time like not through the pants but over the pants in english class and then our teacher was like put him down and he flipped me up and i caught my head on the corner of the desk and so strider like puts me down and walks back to his desk and then i just i feel something and i touch my eye and i'm just spewing blood so real calm i'm like stay cool stay cool don't panic i walk up to the teacher in front of the whole class and i'm like uh miss keen my fucking head's i didn't say i'm like miss keen i'm bleeding i gotta go to the office and then um the whole class is looking at me i turn

and look at strider strider looks back at me he goes just starts laughing yeah and then the whole class started laughing at me while i was bleeding that's awesome and i was just like i wasn't even mad at strider i was just like what the fuck. And I was just like, I wasn't even mad at Strider. I was just like, what the fuck, dude? And then I just walked to the office and got my head fixed. Yeah. Yeah. My dad hated Strider. Yeah.

Because that was the second thing he knew about him. And the first thing he knew about him was I had a party at my house after homecoming, even though I didn't even go. And Strider put on a pirate costume and just ran around acting like a pirate. My dad thought he was on like meth or something. Yeah, now he loves him. But it was a hard introduction. Man, I can't imagine hating, you know,

it's hard to think of Strider giving a bad first impression. He was a wild dude back then. Now he's all about the GF. I got to, you want to do like a solo que? Sure. I got to pee. I'm not sure I know what to talk about. What's up, Stokers? JT here.

I'm doing pretty good. I feel good about everything right now. You know, I've been trying to have, uh, more integrity, because I've realized, like, I'm honest in some parts of my life, but I'm not honest across the board, you know? Like I got in trouble with my GF because I was doing a joke that she didn't want me to do, but I was just, I just didn't think she'd see it. So I was doing it. And then she surprised me at a standup show and saw me do the bit and she was super hurt. And it was like so hard for me because I was like, Oh, like and saw me do the bit and she was super hurt and it was like so

hard for me because i was like oh like i want to do this bit so bad but it's like so you're gonna put your like artistic expression above like your relationship i don't think that sounds like a recipe for your happiness like i don't know if i'd but it was like swallowing down a rock to like stop doing the bit but i stopped and it's helped my relationship. And I think it's made me feel better as a person because I know I'm valuing stuff that's good for me over stuff that's what my id wants. Could you rewrite the bit so that it's about someone else

that's not your girlfriend but still the funny parts? I can't get too into it. That's fine. Yeah, but but no there's basically no way to do this bit right now in a way that she would feel comfortable with that's fair but she's working to get more comfortable with it so like in time hopefully i could do it again but she's just not there yet but that's nice of you to like hear her concerns and to take the bit out of your set yeah totally i mean. I mean, well, it's like, yeah, thank you.

But it was like with a, like I argued a little bit about it. You know what I mean? Of course, it's your craft. Yeah, and I was like, it was kind of like negotiating. I was like, all right, I'll stop. But like in time,

I would like to do it. And to her credit, she was open to that, like to her immense credit. And then she's having a tough day at work today over some bullshit so i'm sorry babe that's it's some fucking stupid shit it's got me all fired up but i don't want to get into it but people are being harsh on her and i'm i'm you're ready to kick some ass i want to like get in there but the person also being hard on her is like a lady so i

can't like i'm not just gonna like start talking shit to some lady. I mean, I wouldn't do it if it was a dude either. She's super capable and can handle it on her own. But it's nice that we're both angry at this person together. That's kind of bonding, you know? It is such a bonding, like a mutual hatred or frustration with a person is such a bonding experience with anyone. Like you could hate someone with a complete stranger

and like now you're best friends with that yeah huge there's a bruce willis movie with michelle pfeiffer the story of us where like they can't get along as a married couple after 20 years and then they meet this couple in rome that they both just hate and then like their romance sparks up again dude yeah yeah and so like me and her me and sally have just been texting back and forth today like i fucking hate this person yeah and we're all jazzed up on it together that's awesome hating people together so fun yeah all right dude here's a question yo dudes love the pod always fire content all right so i'm going to try to make this long ass four-year story brief back in 2015 i met a girl named sienna on this app whisper and we really hit it off instantly have either of you guys heard of Whisper? No, is that a dating app?

Yeah, I guess. He actually just says on an app called Whisper. He doesn't say that it's a dating app. Oh, I cut a question from last week too where this teenager was asking for dating advice and we're all like, just expand your range on Bumble. And then I realized he's 16. I was like, he's probably not on Bumble.

Do you think so? Are 16, you're not allowed to be on bumble if you're 16 no i think you need to be 18 oh really well i don't know some states the age of consent is 16 so is that what it is maybe they have a kid's bumble oh god yeah the internet says that whisper is a form of anonymous social media allowing users to post and share photo and video messages anonymously oh interesting that sounds kinky. Started talking on the phone, FaceTime audio. I'm pretty shy when it comes to the FaceTime myself,

so it never crossed my mind to verify she was real via webcam or anything. But we voice chatted and even had phone sex. Just had a good vibe, and it quickly turned into a close relation with I Love You's and the whole nine. She was pregnant when we met and had her baby while we were talking. She actually called me saying her water had broke and she was going to the hospital so over the four years we grew closer but also drifted apart at times because of work and college but always catching up and being there for each other i was living in florida at the time and her in michigan but she had gone to college in florida too i also have to message she would consistently consistently send me the latest pics

of her and her kid she's freaking beautiful dudes i always told her she reminded me of olivia wild but i never got an instagram so fast forward this year in january she vanished like off the grid no replies etc and i was like yo are you okay and some girl wrote me back from her number saying that sienna's in rehab and going through some addiction issues and that she's going away for a little while i was like what and i knew something was up this is when my detective skills came in and i reverse searched her phone on a little while. I was like, what? And I knew something was up. This is when my detective skills came in and I reverse searched her phone on Google. Quickly figured out it was a diff girl by diff name, but in the same city and area code of Michigan.

The girl in the photos, the real girl, actually named Sienna at this point was now a mystery. And it hurt me for like a week because I thought I'd never find out who she was. But because I have a friend in the same town and with FBI skills in my genes from my late great grandpa, I was able to figure through her pics that she was indeed also living in Grand Rapids. By typing in Sienna in Grand Rapids, we found the real girl on Facebook and then Instagram, as well as some basic white pages info.

Here's where my issue comes in. I decided against my better judgment to contact the real girl to just tell her my story and say hi. I so starstruck to find the real girl her profile to me was like that of a celebrity crush so i had to write to her i wrote her a sweet message maybe a page saying some girl is using her photos that i'm not a spammer and i just want to say hi etc weeks went by and she didn't read it so i left a comment on one of her photos to check her dms well dudes my heart sank when she quickly bought blocked me probably thinking i was spam i don't know i've written i've since written her sister and a friend as well with no reply because they've they haven't read it since we don't follow each other on ig my dilemma is that i still feel so in love with this girl i thought i already knew for four years am i in love with the catfish girl or the girl in the photos it's so confusing dudes yeah i'd take a trip to hawaii

using dudes yeah i'd take a trip to hawaii that's a good call that's a good call just go into the middle of the pacific ocean let apollo do his work on you and massage you with ultraviolet rays and just say you know what universe i'm ready for real thing, and I'm not coming in too hot. I got tricked, but that's life. And thank you for the training. I know how to text and send messages really well. But let's make this in person. Yeah, dude, I would take a vacation i like that take a vacation and get away emma what's your take yeah i think a vacation sounds like a good idea it sounds like you need to take like a dating break yeah like don't don't talk to anybody don't try to just like

date yourself for a minute take yourself on a nice vacation or to a nice dinner and then maybe try not the online dating thing because i feel like that's gonna cause some trust issues yeah if you do do the online dating thing make sure it's only like a couple messages to ask them out on a date right and then go meet in person eventually yeah and then go meet in person because four years is a long time yeah and he was raising a child yeah that'll fuck with your head bad also maybe maybe uh talk to a therapist or someone yeah about it yeah because it's a pretty deep deception that he went through now it seems like he's transferring all that feeling from one person. To another.

To another, you know? Yeah, she pulled the long con and really got you good. So I would, don't hold that inside. Let that out. Talk about it. That's healthy. Yeah. Yeah, so thanks for reaching out, dog, and airing it out.

Thanks for writing it. Yeah, I hope that helped therapize it. Yeah, I hope that cleared it out for you a little bit, dude. But keep airing it out. And sorry, dude. But probably let the real person... Let him go. Yeah.

Put that genie in a bottle, or that message in a bottle, and throw it into the Caribbean. For sure. What's up, Lords of Stoketown? Oh, should we do another Manscaped? I think we have one more left. This one's super long. You ready?

Are you guys ready? Stokers, are you ready? Ready. Emma Stoll, are you ready? Oh, I'm ready. To the Sultan of Stoke and the Baron of Bronze. Nice. Oh, the Baron of Bronze. I. Oh, the Baron of Bronze.

I was thinking about the paper towels. Brawny. It's with a heavy heart and a surplus of shame that I share this story with you. I'd be asked to keep it anonymous, but that's quite pointless since every person who's came within five square feet of me has heard this by now, including my mom. To set the stage a bit, this tragedy occurred after my second year of college while I stayed behind on campus and took a spring class. As most of my boys had gone home for the summer to work and crush beers at the lake, I didn't have any of the squad in my course, so my stoke tank was quite depleted. That didn't last long, however, as when I entered the auditorium looking like a kid whose mom lost him at Walmart, I heard my name get called by a familiar voice. I turned around and there she was.

A girl. Sorry, not a girl. The girl. From my floor and first year who I've crushed on since the first time I spotted her in her bright yellow sundress at orientation. She's my great white buffalo. The white whale that I've dreamed of Moby Dicking ever since. What? Sorry. I was expecting a more like romantic romantic

yeah and then i've dreamed of moby dicking ever since i met her and taking her on a picnic i sat down with her that you had that yeah yeah i sat down with her that day and every day for the next month we had lunch together daily oh niceared dank memes and laughed at obscure movie references together. Things were going perfect, or almost perfect, since I forgot to mention that she has been dating an absolute schmole for the last two years. Fast forward a bit. I get a text from her on a Sunday night asking if I could come over

since she needs someone to talk to. She, like me, had most of her friends go back home for the summer and was on campus more or less alone. She needed some company and I needed any excuse to spend some time with her. So I jumped in an Uber and it was gone faster than a toupee in a hurricane. When I got over there, it was obvious that she had been crying

so I asked what was wrong and immediately got the story of how she had found out from her best friend that her boyfriend had cheated on her the night before and that they subsequently broke up. At this point point it's almost impossible for me to hold in how i happy i am but i do my best b pit impression to play it cool and comfort her we end up talking for hours into the late night and she asked if i can just crash at her since she doesn't want to be alone i didn't want to seem like i was taking advantage of the

situation i told her no worries and i crashed on the couch but she insisted that we could share the bed. This is it boys. Peak stoke. We go to her bedroom and start with some innocent cuddling. Then she turns around and plants a kiss on me. It's everything I've been dreaming of. There's only one problem. My pubes. The whole situation blindsided me like a Sandra Bullock

movie and didn't give me time to go all Edward Scissorhands and paint a Picasso on my pubic region. Damn. Instead i was left with a four so big jeff bezos i wanted to name a company after it he also has a big hog i'm trying to play it cool so i find a natural break in the action teller i need to quickly use the bathroom i don't want it to seem like i'm dropping a log in her toilet so i realize i only have about 3.5 minutes before it starts getting suspish i frantically search her bathroom for a razor and quickly find one in her shower jackpot i pull down my pants and start going at my growing with so much pace i almost got carpal tunnel after about a minute of pain and panic i

finished up the front region and most of my shaft now on to the balls first few strokes are fine but i'm going to speedily and sloppily practically asking for trouble then suddenly it happens I nick the sack right on a vein this thing is bleeding more than Steve Austin's forehead and my sack is starting to look like Normandy on D-Day whoa I've got no idea what to do so I plop my balls in her sink and start running the water

on them praying to every god no demand for it to stop it's been about a minute and the blood flow has slowed down but it definitely has not stopped she hears the tap running for what i'm sure sounds like an eternity and knocks on the door asking if i'm okay but i can't even come up with an excuse so i just muster up the weakest yeah you've ever heard and continued scrubbing balls after after with tap water and patting them with tp there's no locks in the door so after about 20 30 seconds she opens up to find me with my pants around my ankles and my bloody balls in her sink she screams a little bit in shock and i try

and diffuse the situation with some humor telling her i'm sorry it's my time of the month turns out period jokes aren't a crowd pleaser so she quickly closes the door and returns to her room after about five minutes it stopped so i put my clothes on and returned to her room. After about five minutes, it stopped, so I put my clothes on and returned to her room. Greeted by silence so loud Helen Keller could hear it. I try and laugh it off, but she wasn't having it, so I decided it was best to head home and try framing it as a funny story a few days later once it settled in.

On Monday, I look out for her in class, but she's not there. On Tuesday, she decides to sit somewhere else, leaving me to sit alone yet another day. On Wednesday, she does the same, so I approach her after class and try and apologize for all the awkwardness. She tells me it's okay and I apologize for her awkwardness as well. But she also says that she fixed things with the schmole and they're giving it another shot. So it'd probably be best if she kept some distance from me after what happened that night.

Well, how did things turn out, you ask? It's been a little over two years and they're still dating i've seen them a few times but we haven't spoken it's actually almost like that night never happened almost except she told her best friend and now it has spread to every corner of the earth i mean every person i know has heard it and as much as i laugh and try to play it off it's a little painful knowing i missed my only chance with my great white buffalo because of my hideous pubes and lack of hygiene. On the bright side, this situation has taught

me to always be prepared and keep the trims pubed because you truly have no idea when God is going to smile down on you and toss you a softball. Just don't strike out like I did. Sorry for the long story, dogs. I had to pour my heart out. Cheers, Dan. Man. That was a wild ride um nice along came poly action in there dude i think that's my favorite yeah i'm gonna give the w to that gent that was very vulnerable and long uh go ahead no let's continue and uh you know it

was well articulated i'm sorry for judging you on the moby dicking thing um you know i know you're being vulnerable so what yeah me too and uh i don't think i got it at first why these stories are important yeah but it's important because the technology wasn't there and now it is yeah like all these stories have been a very good advertisement for Manscaped because none of these dudes would have had the damage done if they had the Manscaped tools. Yeah. You know, it's like the marketplace wasn't thinking about romance as much

until Manscaped came along. Yeah. I mean mean these stories will scare you straight yeah they will scare you straight yeah if you're thinking you're just gonna have a cool hook up with the woman of your dreams and use basic machinery to take care of your area you are sorely sorely mistaken all right you need the top of the line you know best off the shelf gear and that's what you get with manscaped. And I am dead fucking serious, guys, because I don't want to read any more of these stories.

I don't want to hear any more stories about a dude's, you know, sausage getting the outer shell sliced up. Like, let's keep the meat safe. Ah, beautiful. All right, dude. I think the main thing, too too that you can take away is get a holster and put the lawnmower 2.0 in there

so when the situation comes you just quick hand it yeah you're prepared shave it just bring it with you everywhere alright last question what's up lords of stoketown so I recently moved from my quaint town in Iowa to Orlando with my mom and younger brother,

who is a wicked tennis player. I was pretty bummed about the move. A video from a football game where I fought a couple of dudes on the opposing team and is causing me to receive a lot of attention. After the newfound attention, a solid babe named Baja invited me to a party. I was amped. While trying to rage at this mansion party, a schmole named Ryan challenged me to a fight. I didn't want to fight this re-nob until he brought my father who passed away oh that's low i was pissed he is

well versed in mma and ultimately beat my ass lowering my stoke the bronze babe baja convinced me that she didn't have any nefarious intentions when she invited me to the party it took a while but i eventually forgave her and we began hanging out at the wakeboard park and started getting stoke on each other i befriended a solid bro named max and we started training mma at this brazilian studs gym i got really good at rolling with dudes on the mat and getting them to tap nice dude my brazilian mentor got aggro with me after i beat the hell out of three guidos on a freeway off ramp the scuffle was caught on video and spread like wildfire attention from the video got me an invitation to compete in the beatdown

which is an underground MMA fight. Florida has all of those. Life is good. I have a babe of a girlfriend and a solid bro by my side, so I declined to fight in the event. Then the schmole Ryan beat the piss out of my homie Max and left him bleeding at my front door. I'm at a crossroads. I know I should never back down, but my fighting

past is upsetting those around me. My question is, do I let this schmole pressure me into fighting in the beatdown competition to defend Max's Honor or do I move on with my With my life and my banging girlfriend Jake Tyler Damn Jake that is a Harrowing story dude And uh thank you for sharing it with us

Do you think you should back down No I think you should fight in the beat down but not for glory not for ego but because he might be the only one who can stop this ryan guy i'd say you're in florida get outside train train your heart out. Wake bored. To Papa Roach. To Papa Roach. Hit the bag. Do some backflips. Flash your abs whenever you get a chance. And beat the fuck out of this dude.

Never, ever back down. You're fighting for the right reasons, Jake. I wouldn't encourage someone to fight, but once in a while, it's the only move. Because this Ryan guy is just going too far. Who's next? Who's next? Your brother? He's not going to stop coming after you,

so you've got to put a stop to it. Sorry that life's laid this at your feet. I'm sorry you lost your dad. But someone's got to clean up the mess man you know i i'm not big on fighting but when there's this much disrespect and obviously this dude can fight because he took down those guidos yeah i wouldn't say that though guidos yeah is that a slur i I think so. He took down those dudes? Hell yeah. Those boners.

He took down those boners that was videotaped, is that what he said? Mm-hmm. You know, dude, I mean, you are a fighting lion, and this guy, he's coming at you hard, and he's trying to take pride rock from you, and you can't let it happen. I got a sneaking suspicion, too, that if Jake is able to do what we all want,

and that's to put Ryan away, not permanently, but just in his place, that that's actually deep down what Ryan wants. Because I bet you this Ryan bully, he's not happy. He's probably getting pressure from all corners. I bet you his dad's a fucking maniac you know yeah like all in his face aggro alpha type yeah and then ryan's displacing that pressure on everyone around him so he can feel in charge but if you put him in

his place he's gonna be a better guy for it yeah and then i bet you one day you're at school you guys are gonna nod at each other because you're going to understand something. Do you think you'll end up with Baja? I think so. I don't think she had nefarious intentions. I'd love to go Taco Bell with Baja and get Baja blessed.

Nice. Alright, Chad, who is your beef of the week? My beef of the week is with the dude who stole my brother's weighted vest out of his car i woke up to a text yesterday my brother's like some assholes some asshole broke into my car stole my weighted vest he tried to steal a sandbag too but he couldn't lift it good this guy's weak this guy can't even lift. This guy has no gains and this guy needs to be put in his place. You know why? Because now my brother's gains are

being threatened because now he has to do body squats at regular body weight. I mean, who takes a weighted vest? You know Obviously, my brother's on a mission. He's trying to make gains. He's trying to increase his strength. He's trying to strengthen the muscle fibers. He's trying to, you know, he's a new dad now, so he's trying to flex on the neighborhood and let people know, I have a daughter, okay, and I do squats.

So if you come around to my house, bring champagne. So, yeah, I just got beef with the guy who stole his weighted vest because I know the guy, he doesn't even have a proper technique. So he's going to take that weighted vest and he's probably going to try and do some leapfrog or something. And he's going to probably tear his ACL, which he should because you don't even know about form if you're that low to steal hell yeah what's your beef dude my beef of the week is also one uh that i've inherited from my

family um my mom and her boyfriend greg killer couple are trying to build a pool in their backyard which is a great idea so they can live it up in fucking san clemente and then the homeowners association told them that they can't what but they don't want them to build a pool which is already like infringing on their individual rights to have a place to get wet in the summer you know what i mean and if that wasn't enough the fucking dudes who run the homeowners association who made the call live in Colorado. They don't even live in my mom's neighborhood. They're making this call from a satellite location a thousand miles away. This is an atrocity.

It's like you don't get to make that call, dude. Fuck you. Once you're that far away, it's out of your hands bro later you're gripping the wheel too tight yeah so i'm pretty frustrated on behalf of my mom te quiero mucho um yeah i'm just fired up you know what that is totalitarianism for sure first you know it's like if i ever people are like what what what kind of government do you want simple one that doesn't take away my pool at some point the founding fathers looked at each other and they're like yo england's too far away to be our dad yeah and i feel the same way about this homeowners association like dude if you lived

in laguna niguel you'd be too far. Yeah. For those of you who don't know, for context, that's like five miles from San Clemente. Yeah. I bet General Cornwallis came over and he's like, all these pools, they're ours now. Right. And it's like no suntan nation without representation. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. It all rhymed too thanks my dog who is your babe of the week my babe of the week is uh cooter hollins you might know him by the instagram sup ladies it's cooter this guy is a beast not to mention he you know i've never met him in person i've only talked to him via a message but he is i can tell he is hilarious he's creative he's an artist he makes a lot of the fly he's starting to make the thumbnails for the podcast now which are epic i don't know if you guys have noticed them but check him out on the youtube they just give a great summary of the episode that pops and um i just want to give a shout out to cooter uh i love your

sense of humor i love your artistic taste thank you for making these dank flyers um he also made some great artwork he made the stoke actually poster and another going deep poster which i'm gonna have printed and framed um for my place and it's gonna be so legit dude so i just want to give a shout to scooter you're the man dude thank you for making the thumbnails you're a beast you're a legend but most of all you're a babe who's your babe my babe of the week is julio jones for those of you who have been watching hard knocks uh you the central character has been Antonio Brown, and I don't even know what genre of story he's in. I mean, the closest analog I can find personality-wise to him is Michael Jackson. I would not be surprised if Antonio Brown was like, hey, so after I'm done with the season, I'm going to build myself Neverland Ranch.

But then you think, all right, but Antonio Brown's leading the league in receptions, receiving yards, and touchdowns since 2011. So however weird he is, he makes it work on the field, and he's come from nothing, and he's defied the odds, and maybe he's earned the right to just be as weird as he wants to be. And you know what? He has earned the right. He can be. He has totally earned the right. But you don't have to be weird. And you know how I know that? Because there's another receiver who's been killing it since 2011, who's been averaging 10 more yards per game on average than Antonio Brown. And that's Julio Jones. And this breaks my heart because I'm a Steelers fan, baby.

I love the work Antonio Brown did for us. His route running, Tommy Toe Touch, the best in the business. But Julio Jones has been doing comparable, if not better work in Atlanta, and has been leaving no weirdness footprint. He's just a baller, dude. And my favorite play of him last year is he's trying to track the ball overhead on a bomb. He realizes it's out of reach. He quickly diagnoses that the defender is going to make a pick,

and then he fucking perfect form tackles the shit out of the safety to dislodge the ball it's such a brilliant football play and you can watch it in slow motion and you can see him literally change his intentions from trying to catch the ball to breaking up the pass and it's watching football genius in action i loved it so thank you julio jones for just being about ball dude because antonio brown's kind of got like a deity complex he goes to a high school game and hard knocks and all the kids are like antonio and you're like oh yeah that'd probably go to my head too if whole crowds were just cheering for me yeah so julio jones man it's a pleasure to watch you play dude dude you just got me fired up to

watch football i love it dude i want to run routes oh you'd run great routes dude i want to watch people run routes my dog who is your legend of the week my legend of the week uh goes to our agent and manager's assistants colleen colin and emma the unsung heroes of the entertainment world i just want to to give a shout out to all assistants because I date, I don't know if she wants me to talk about her job, but I date an assistant. So I know how much work you guys put in. And I just want to give a, I don't know if they listen to the pod, but I just want to give a shout out to them. You know, they're helping schedule stuff for us. They'll help, help and reach out to people. They're helping us with everything. And it's a stressful job, you know. You've got to throw in those emails.

You've got to coordinate a lot of stuff. You've got to answer phones. You've got to read a lot of stuff. And, you know, I think they deserve a shout-out for freaking crushing it for us and just putting in hard work and crushing it for our reps as well. So, Colleen, Colin and Emma, what up? You guys are legends.

That's awesome, man. Yeah. Yeah. They're always so nice too. When we see them and so nice, super supportive. Yeah.

It's a hard fucking job, man. Yeah. Working their asses off. Yeah. Working hard. Dude. My legend of the week is a person that has just blown my mind.

So my girlfriend is in this Facebook group, Australians in LA. And normally people post in this Facebook group, Australians in LA, and normally people post in there and it gets little buzz. But this guy, Matt White, has been like a rock dropped into a lake and he's just created a ripple effect of excitement. He's just a straight shooter all over the place. He writes stuff like this. Has anyone spotted any celebs then he wrote um off to santa monica in venice today worth getting a scooter can you wear a black dress shorts and nightclubs or do you need pants i think i spotted a celeb on the boardwalk he had a winter

tattoo on his arm it looked like drake but i knew he would have a lot of lookalikes this matt white guy is electric dude and now everyone in the australia group is so jacked up they're throwing a party for him really and yeah so sally's like isn't this guy goofy i'm like no i want to meet him let's go and the first 10 people who get to the party get a uh sticker with his face on it so i want to be one of the first 10 i got to meet this guy yeah he's sensational matt white he set this whole group 20 000 people on fire everyone wants to meet him worth getting the scooter yeah he's he's just straightforward and guileless bro i love that that's dank he's my biggest legend dude i really really can't wait to meet this guy matt white

keep crushing it dude and keep just saying the things that other people are afraid to say can you wear shorts to a nightclub i don't know i've never challenged conventional notions like that beast matt white all right my dog what's your quote of the week my quote of the week um comes from a screenwriter paul schrader i've been crushing interviews with him because he's a beast he wrote taxi driver raging bull uh first reformed yep he's uh he's awesome he's a beast bro so my quote comes from him ultimately ultimately it's an illusion to think you can understand yourself whoa nice dude and he's tried hard he's a brilliant guy yeah one of the greats so i think from that you know life's a journey enjoy the journey don't be so caught up with the result fuck yeah you know

and enjoy the the the uniqueness and the intricacies of you because you're a weird dude i'm talking to the general you and he's a he's a heavy breather he's a horse dude you understand yourself as an illusion yeah so you have to just keep working that's the key to a successful and productive life. I remember when Robert called me and said that Taxi Driver was a very compelling story. I agreed with him. Ultimately, it was a story about myself. It was a therapy because I was becoming that guy.

And then that script fixed the problem. I was afraid to become that guy. He has a good quote, too, where he says, at first you're having fun with cocaine cocaine and then cocaine starts having fun with you it's like amen to that brother i was a nocturnal writer and i the way i wrote i used a combination of nicotine alcohol weed and cocaine he's saying this at bafta and the moderate is like right dude when he directed the canyons and lindsey lohan was kind of falling apart, there's such a brilliant New York Times article about it. We should cover it next week because it's so crazy.

She was in a room and she wouldn't let anybody in. And so to, like, be vulnerable, he got butt naked. Nice. He's like, Lindsay, I'm naked out here. Oh, he told me that story. Yeah, that was him. Isn't that wild? Yeah.

Lindsay, I'm naked. Lindsay, I'm naked out here. Oh, okay. Yeah. I guess so. Lindsay, I'm naked. Lindsay, I'm naked out here. Oh, okay. Yeah. Let's make this fucking movie. Yeah. All right. My quote of the week is from a brilliant film that I revisited this past weekend flying

home from Utah, Blue Crush. Main character Anne-Marie had a surfing accident where she got held under the waves and almost died and she has a little ptsd from it but she's trying to shake it off because the pipe masters is coming up and she wants to win that fucking thing dude but she's scared and so the movie's about her struggling with that and then she starts dating a cool football guy, quarterback who's in town for the pro bowl. And he's actually, he's a chill dude, but he takes her to a big party and she's in the bathroom and overhears people saying how he kind of likes to slum it and how he's always dating like waitresses and stuff like that. So she kind of feels like

cheap at that point and kind of like, like she's let herself, I don't know, look foolish or something like that. So she runs into the water and he follows her because he does genuinely care about her. And then he's just like, look, I don't know what to tell you. Like, what do you want? She says, what do I want? Oh, my God. I want Penny to quit smoking and go to college.

I want to be able to pay the phone electric and rent in the same month. I want a girl to be on the cover of Surf Magazine. It would be great if that girl were me, but any girl would do. I want, I mean, I wish my mom would come home and I really, really want to win pipe masters tomorrow. That's what I want. And then she looks and she's like, just tell me what to do, please. Which isn't super in her nature. You know what I mean? And he goes, you want me to tell you what to do, please. Which isn't super in her nature, you know what I mean? And he goes, you want me to tell you what to do? Yes. You know what to do.

No, Matt. I don't. Just be the girl I met on the beach. Who was she? The kind of girl who wouldn't ask a guy what to do. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. It's kind of patronizing that I'm making this my quote of the week, but I just love that scene.

Dude, Kate Bosworth is fire in that movie. Fire. Dude, and our plane landed before the very end. Oh, man. So we're all like, no, no, no. We're like, we're going to be able to watch it because we're at the back of the plane. We're row 39.

We're going to be able to see the end. We're going to be able to see the end. And we're literally willing to wait, get off the plane late just to see the scene. And then they shut the TVs off. Damn. Yeah. So I didn't get to see her kill it.

Spoiler alert. I didn't get to see her and Matt make out. But I know she's going to do it because I've seen the movie before. It's a great movie, dude. Good soundtrack. Good characters. The way they use Cruel Summer in there really gets me fired up. Bro.

And the way they use Youth of the Nation. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. We are, we are. The Youth of the Nation. As they're pulling her and she's getting dragged into waves. Awesome. And then, dude, Michelle Rodriguez is vicious to her in that scene.

What did she say? She said, oh, you're going to run away. You're going to quit. Who does that remind you of? Talking about her mom. Damn. But maybe she needs to hear it. I think she does.

Yeah, she's looking out for it. Yeah. It's cruel, but she cares about her. Yeah. It's a cruel summer. It's cruel. Cruel summer. Emma, have you seen Blue Crush?

I haven't, but now I kind of want to. Oh, dude, you've never seen it? You've got to see it. I know. I think I know what's on my list. All right. Oh, Chad, what is your phrase of the week for getting after it? All right, my phrase for getting after it this week is, dudes, let's burn some beer bong rubber nice what's yours

mine is the name i heard and i don't know i forgot to write down where i heard it but this is a real name brogon roback that that's so you just say that you say Brogon Roback and everyone just starts drinking and partying and getting loose I love it if anyone knows where that name is like where it belongs, where it exists

let me know Brogon Roback reminds me of Rhodesian Richback yeah it sounds like a bro in Middle Earth Bro gone, Ro back. Reminds me of Rhodesian Richback. Yeah. It sounds like a bro in Middle Earth. Dude, I'm going to get dogs soon. Oh, you should, dude.

Yeah. Dude, dogs are huge. Gary Goldman was just talking about on Instagram about how valuable it was for just making them happier. Yeah. They're awesome. They're so wonderful, dude. I love dogs. Yeah, they're the cutest.

Dude, one more thing about hard knocks. Mike Glennon, backup quarterback for the Oakland Raiders. That guy's face belongs in the Lord of the Rings as an extra getting an arrow through his head in a shot. Like, you know when they just bombard a castle with arrows and then they cut to show you he got arrowed? Mike Glennon needs to be one of the guys who got arrowed through the head.

Is he a douche? No, he just looks like a guyon needs to be one of the guys who got arrowed through the head. Is he a douche? No, he just looks like a guy who needs to be killed as an extra in Game of Thrones. That's just what he looks like. I'll show you a picture of him. You tell me if you agree. Doesn't this guy just need to get a fucking spear through his eye as an extra? Can you put that on the camera? Your main character just freaking...

I don't mean to pick on the guy, but I think he's a's a good looking dude but he just needs to get arrowed or speared dude i could also see and and uh he if he's in like a civil war movie and a cannonball like bounces up and just knocks his dome off right he's got the perfect look for that yeah yeah oh oh oh knocks his leg off later dude yeah um oh do you want to do a review yeah for sure dude fully torqued by joe eats nice the dankest of all pods dudes your pod is me cruising down the highway my brand new jeep cherokee fully freaking torqued the positivity and stated brethren you dudes have achieved makes me feel like a lightning bolt has hit the tip of my dong thank you for always making my day dank nice that's nice oh no guys i'm on about month of the froth train no booze nice dude a lot of stokers have reached out they're uh they're on the journey so beautiful man shout out to those dudes and ladies dudes and. They're on the journey. Beautiful, man.

Shout out to those dudes and ladies. Choo-choo, guys. Dudes and ladies who are on the journey. Let's keep clearing our minds. Dude, I've been thinking about that a lot because I've been trying to be healthier. And I think Kierkegaard has a quote where he says, like, man learns to tolerate a certain level of pain and then calls that happiness right and i think there's a happiness above that you know what i mean where i feel happy right now but maybe i'll look back when i get even happier i'll look back and be like

oh dude that wasn't even happiness yet that was just what i was accepting yeah you know what i mean oh for sure i think you can always climb up higher yeah and you know sometimes i think it's good to be sad you should be sad for a little bit but but it's transient highs and lows yeah you gotta have the balance yeah yeah all right we good i think we're rock solid baby cool what else is up what are you doing after this i'm gonna go rock climb you're going tonight yeah oh nice dude yeah damn i want to do that fuck i can't make it tonight what are you doing well sally had a hard day so i gotta we got i gotta go over to her house and mutually hate this person with her nice yeah that'll be a good bonding oh for sure i'm way looking forward to it i wish i could do

both we'll rock climb soon and then we got a show tomorrow we're performing for the troops at fleet week yeah that'll be fun i'm pumped dude got dude. Got a good lineup. Yeah, some killers, bro. Striders on it. Yeah. Ari Maness, Andrew Santino, Annie Lederman. Killers. Emma, thanks. Thank you, Emma. No problem. And Stokers, thanks

for tuning in. Thanks for being Stokers. Keep writing those reviews. Keep Stoking, writing in questions, and just manscaping and being awesome stokers. Yep. JT, you want to say anything? Boom, clap, stokers. Later, dudes.

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