Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 97 - Frank Grillo Joins

Episode Date: October 16, 2019

What up stokers, in this super fire episode we are joined by actor and producer, Frank Grillo (Purge: Anarchy, The Grey, Black and Blue). We dive deep in to his rigorous martial arts training, his upbringing, working as an actor, and how to just be an overall epic dude. It's fire. Dive in. Jabwow. Check out our t-shirts at www.chadgoesdeep.com

Are you getting some? Alright. We can start it up. Yeah, we got the In-N-Out logo. I like it. We might have some legal trouble with that but we're we're sticking to it as long as we can yeah it might come after yeah i'm like wow but it's so inviting i mean it's such a good logo um all right guys what up uh welcome to the going deep with

chad and jt podcast my name is chad kroger coming in with the Go and D with Chad and JT Podcast. I got my compadre, Jean Thomas. What up? What up, Stokers? Boom, clap. And we are here with actor, producer, Frank Grillo. Thank you for coming in. Oh, man, thank you for having me.

Frank, you dropped kind of a bomb at the beginning of our pre-interview chat. You said that you didn't like Venice, California anymore, or as much. No, I don't. I used to live there for a long time and what's your what was your reasoning again scooters scooters in a word man scooters and the people who ride them oh the riders too man i can't stand them yeah first it used to be the prius the prius as a car. I drive one. You do, man? And I ride scooters all the time. Can you curse on this thing? You can curse.

Well, fucking Priuses went up my ass in the beginning, and Prius owners. And now it's scooters. What is it about Prius owners that you don't like? It's just kind of douchey. I hear you, man. You kind of are, man. My buddy Jesse, when they first came out, we were in

San Francisco during college. What's up? I'm sorry. It's going to cause beef between us. No, I don't want to cause beef. It's all good. I'm a terrible, cynical human being. Have Chad turn? No, I want to rotate the mic more towards your face.

Oh, it should be on mic a little bit more. Gotcha. So this Prius was driving by and my buddy Jesse just threw an in-and-out shake right at it. Really? He was beefing with him that hard, yeah.

Oh, I thought this was going to make the Prius people look like the... No, no, I was just saying like... It sounds like they're being persecuted. It's just my buddy going after a Prius.

Yeah, it's a bad... I don't know what it is about the Prius. I don't know. It's the shape. But you know what? Listen, it's all in the past now because the scooter

is the new Prius. We're a huge scooter devotee. You are, man. You know, we give city council speeches where we fight for different cars. Why don't you buy a fucking motorcycle? I don't know. That just seems like- I have motorcycles.

I ride motorcycles. If they had- I respect that. That's cool. It sounds like you're sexy on your motorcycle. But I'm just saying- I am sexy. But I think the thing that's nice about the scooter is you don't have to own it, so I

don't have to worry about the upkeep. You know, it's just that what happens is the scooter guy and gal on the scooter just thinks that it's vacation wherever they are, and they could do whatever they like, and they don't have to adhere to the rules and the regulations of what other motor vehicleists have to. I can tell you as a scooter rider, I 100% feel that way when I'm on a scooter. You do, right? I do feel like I'm on vacation. Right, man. I need the break, though. I need the vacation.

No, you don't, man. I need it, brother. You have a podcast. Brother, I need the vacation. I mean, when you're not selling bonds at Goldman Sachs, man. But you did that, right? For a minute. Right.

You got to fly on the sidewalk sometimes. No, it's, you know what? Listen, when there was a couple of them it was cool it was like all right another mode of transportation right for the young and the unemployed um but now i see like you know these jerky guys my age you know with no helmets like doing jumps it's just not cool and then they leave them all over the streets yeah yeah and there's like 60 different companies now like we used to be one company yeah it is a little oversaturated right it's

it's just made a mess of but i gotta tell you when i'm like having a hard day and i'm stressed out with all the different brother look at me what fucking stress do you possibly have i mean definitely when you have a family no you have kids i'm gonna have a family? No. You have kids? I mean, I have a family. I don't have kids. You have kids? You don't have kids? No. You own a house? No. What stress do you have? Dude, I'm telling you.

You dying of a disease that I don't know of? I'm worried about my... Bro, sometimes I'm worried about that. I might be. Because you have nothing else to worry about. That could be it. But I think also, you know, I worry about the podcast. I worry about my artistic endeavors.

You know, I want to hug you. I want to hug you. And then I want to school you. You have a great life. This is. I worry about my artistic endeavors. I want to hug you. I'll take a hug. And then I want to school you. Take me to school. You have a great life. This is why I wanted you on, Grillo. You are the guy who created an occupation for himself. That's true.

I feel good about that. Right. Yeah. Do you get anxiety? No. Yes. Yeah, I got kids. I got wives.

I got fucking a business. I'm trying to do things with my life before I die, which I feel like it's happening soon. I relate to that part. And that's a lot of stress. I wake up at 3 o'clock every morning with the problem with the white man. Right. How do you deal with the stress? I take Xanax like everybody else.

No, not all the time. Have you tried the scooter? No, I train. There it is. Have I tried what? The scooter. I don't ride anything called a scooter. Scooter.

Everyone who rides a scooter is named Scooter. He's called Scooter. Nice. I like that. I don't mind that. I would like to see you on a scooter. I think that's a funny image. No.

It's not happening. Ever. Not ever. I'll walk on my knees before I get on one of those things. But you train like three hours a day is that right sometimes yeah more i did muay thai today you did yeah at king's mma you did yeah i love it all right i boxed before that how long a couple years all right okay so now now we're in the same school we're the same dude i'm telling you baby yeah i'm on your trajectory

all right i'm gonna look a little better doing i going to get you off that scooter and you'll be fine. I don't do Muay Thai, but. You rock climb. I rock climb. I surf and rock climb. Much respect for rock climbing. Rock climbing. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like you challenge your mind, your body, everything. Yeah. And like boxing and fighting, you have to be focused. Very focused, yeah. On nothing but what you're doing. Yeah. Otherwise you can die. And it's nice to disconnect from like.

It is. From everything else, it is you have to do things that are that encompass all of your concentration yeah and we're like where the things that you're valuing don't matter in that environment and really the things we value don't matter right unless it's like i said you have kids like you'll realize when you have kids okay it's about the about the kids. But other than that, what? Well, how old are your kids? 11, 15, and 22. Oh, cool.

And so did your career has kind of exploded, what, like 12 years ago? Like 10 years. I don't know about exploded. I mean, Brad Pitt's career exploded. But no, I've been on a certainly an upward. Relative to most people. Yeah, yeah. It's all about who you're comparing yourself to. Yeah, you're exactly right. And so, yeah, it's been good. But it's hard. but no I've been on a certainly an upward relative to most people yeah yeah it's all about who you're

comparing yourself to you're exactly right and so yeah it's been good it's been but it's hard you know look but was the kids a motivator no you know what's a motivator

to me is not failing right so not giving up it's simple just don't stop are you competitive yeah very competitive I like that you acknowledge it

yeah I am I am I don't like to lose like even now like my agent will call and say hey you know they love you but they like this guy and they think this guy i'm like that guy you're like he sucks yeah he's a shitty actor what do you want that guy for well you know whatever and you're a good actor yeah man i mean i try to be good at everything i do i work very hard at everything i do i try not to do too much what are you bad at uh i don't know you don't know can't think of one thing i don't really do anything that i'm bad at for that reason you give it up yeah i'm bad at baseball okay really i was a

shitty baseball player i just couldn't make contact i just was afraid of the ball i just like picturing about it because you look so confident. I was. I was afraid of that little white ball. Oh, interesting. It is scary. Yeah. A couple times, I played Little League, and a couple times the ball popped up and hit me in the face. I'm like, I don't like this.

What sports do you play? I played in school. Yeah. I played football. I was primarily a wrestler. Okay. And lacrosse. Okay.

So things that you could hit people. Contact. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then now I just, you know, I box every day and I do some jujitsu and Muay Thai, but primarily boxing. Who'd you like more out of the football and the lacrosse guys? It was the same guys.

Oh, okay. All the same guys. Right. I played lacrosse with the hockey guys. Like, we won the thirds team. Like, that's like the freshman team. Right. But they're all my buddies, the varsity hockey guys. We'd be on the thirds team. That's the freshman team. But they're all my buddies, the varsity hockey guys, and they would just destroy kids.

I would kind of just watch. It's very enjoyable. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, they would just toast. By the way, smart guys, too. They all went on to Ivy League schools. Yeah, those are my jock friends. They're all pretty well-rounded.

All my friends, people say, oh, the jocks. I'm like, oh, the smartest kids in the school. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, high performers typically can do cross disciplines. Yes. Yeah.

Yes. Wrestlers, some of my wrestling friends were like the smartest guys. Oh, yeah. Where do you box at now? I box at a couple places. I box at, my boy Pete Berg, the director. Pete Berg owns Churchill Boxing in Santa Monica. So I box there three days a week with my buddy Chris Van Heerden, who's a pro.

And then I box at Fortune Boxing with Justin Fortune and Jose Navarro. Justin Fortune trains Manny Pacquiao. Jose Navarro is an Olympian. So it's a good group of different guys. Did you watch Pete Berg's doc about Freddie Roach? Yes, I did. The one that was on HBO? I did.

It was great. That was incredible. The way he shot that was just phenomenal. I see Pete every day we joke around what's he like he seems like an animal he's a he is an animal in the best of ways and he loved listen pete's happiest when he's in the gym yeah yeah you know i he dated whitney cummings and i didn't yeah and i know whitney i didn't know she was dating him but i would be doing sets like open mic sets and then she would come on you know right for the real show. And she'd be talking about her jock alpha male boyfriend

and how boorish he was. And then I later found out it was Pete Burr. He is. He is a thug. He really is. Smart thug. He's a smart thug. Let me tell you, he's very, listen,

he's philosophical, he's intelligent, he's incredibly well-read,, he's philosophical. He's intelligent. He's incredibly well-read. And he's got, he's curious. And he wants to make stuff. He wants to make stuff. And he wants to break stuff, too. Yeah, nice. He'll get in, the other day he got in the ring with me and we were moving around.

And he doesn't mind getting punched in the face. Nice. No, I think it can be refreshing. It wakes you up sometimes. It wakes you up. It's like fight club. It's like fight club yeah right you're in this ikea world and what's better than getting punched in the face to to wake up it's real it's real it's truthful i haven't fought much i've been like a couple fights wrestle with my brothers

but every time i do you you have like a feeling of euphoria you do and then you're exhausted yeah it's the most tiring thing because when the reptilian brain kicks in and all your endorphins and everything lets go and you're kind of fight or flight, and then when it's over, you're shaking. Your nervous system is affected. I actually feel like that right now. You do? My central nervous system is firing right now. My adrenaline's pumping.

After stand-up, the adrenaline's pumping. People try to talk to you. I'm like, I can't talk right now. It's like doing theater. It's the same thing. When you're done, off stage you're like people are like hey what are you and it's like yeah that's exactly they're like so well how was that i'm like i don't know leave me alone yeah yeah i hate you yeah i'm gonna go in my car and sit you know it's a you know so you're like a very like masculine appearing actor and you get cast in a lot of like all-time great kind of masculine movies.

Hyper-masculine things. But the thing that I love about your acting is I think you're actually, some of your best scenes are the stuff that I've gravitated to the most is when you subvert that, when you get real gentle and sensitive. Which is what I am.

Yeah, because in The Grey, when you decide to stop escaping or trying to survive, that scene or in Kingdom in the pilot when you're being nice to the Robbie character because you took his lady. Right. But you wouldn't expect that from your character in either situation. Oh, that's great. You know, it's interesting because in Hollywood, if you're not Brad Pitt,

you do tend to be typecast a bit. And there's that thing that I do, which is the kind of hyper-masculine guy that maybe is a little conflicted and can have moments like that. Yeah. And so they give you a little. It's just moments. But you always have them. Right. But I grew up a very kind of shy, insecure kid.

Did you cry a lot? I did cry. I still cry a lot. Me too. kind of shy insecure kid you cry a lot I did cry I still cry me it's you I mean like when my kids do things I have to walk away because I cried very easily and I get my feelings hurt very easily so like what I'll get angry when my feelings get hurt because I feel like I have to defend myself mm-hmm but they get hurt like I'm very I'm hypersensitive yeah in a point-blank to

yeah with your brother my brother and then like the last thing like yeah sort I'm hypersensitive. I saw that in Point Blank, too. Yeah. With your brother. With my brother, yeah. And then the last scene, that sort of gentleness comes through. It's like in your eyes. You know, I've been a father for most of my adult life. I have a son who's 22.

And when you have kids, you tend to shed all that nonsense. And you need to be available emotionally for these children you know yeah and so it really opens you up as a human being it's the greatest thing especially as a man so it's easy to be tough guy like you know i can do that but what i really am is daddy right you know what i mean oh and the purge too like it's yeah yeah i'm daddy. I'm daddy. Right. Yeah, yeah. The greatest joy I have is picking up my kids from school.

When they get in the car and they say, hey, daddy. I just like hearing the word. So what's a role you would love to play but you think would just be a little bit outside of how people think about you? That's a great question. You know, there are roles. Look, I look at McConaughey and the Dallas mcconaughey and i'm like the dallas buyers club right like that's a beautiful role that's a beautiful performance yeah i would love to do that yeah i would love to do i love to i love to play with my body so i physically would

love to get myself to a place where you know i don't look like me and then to kind of go on that journey of of that character because I know I listen to me that's that's who I am more than the kind of Stallone-esque character right that I tend to kind of play yeah you know but and that character is like kind of deconstructing the masculine archetype yeah like he starts off and gets into trouble because he's living that life and then throughout the movie he's kind of right. And then throughout the movie, he's kind of gets softened to the rest of people. And you know, I think that's, to me, far more interesting as an

actor than it is to do a lot of the stuff that, look, I love and I appreciate. I'm grateful for the opportunities. And I've got to make the best of it. But there are other things that I would certainly like to do that it just doesn't come my way. Would that affect you, sort of having to change your body?

Oh, it changes your behavior immediately. Yeah. It changes your behavior immediately. Whenever you change your body, your behavior changes. Right. Yeah. Which is why guys like, you know, you see some of the— Joaquin or something.

Joaquin and Bale tends to play with his weight. De Niro did it early on. It changes your behavior. It changes your DNA. De Niro changed himself permanently because once he got heavy again in Raging Bull, he never lost. He never lost that. Because there's no dieticians back then walking you through it. And inversely, McConaughey, when he lost all that weight at his age, he never got it back fully.

He's still a little gaunt. A little gaunt. He is. And there's a saying, be careful, don't sacrifice your face for your body. Right.

Because when you get to a certain age and all the collagen kind of comes, you lose too much weight. Yeah. It's tough to get it back. Oh, interesting.

You're like at the most jacked you've ever been. I'm not. I'm actually, I have a movie in the can, I hate saying that because it sounds so Hollywood. That I did with Mel Gibson and Naomi Watts, my partner, Carnahan, who did The Greatest, my partner.

Yeah. We produced it, and I was a buck, almost a buck 90 of just, I look like a, because it's basically Die Hard meets Groundhog Day, so I look like a superhero. Right. And so I trained for like six months and I became like, I almost look like a bodybuilder. That's boss level? Boss level, yeah. I follow you on Instagram.

Yeah, so it took me a minute to get rid of like 20 pounds of that. What's that workout regimen like? Oh my God, that was training two, sometimes, I had a trainer with me all the time. Two, three times a day. The food was meticulous. I mean, it was crazy. It was nuts. It was hard. I had a trainer with me all the time, two, three times a day. The food was meticulous. I mean, it was crazy. It was nuts. It was hard.

I don't know how guys do that, like for fun, like they want to be bodybuilders. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm like, that's not fun. I think they just love the feeling of people looking at them and marveling at them. It's scary. But how long does that last?

When you watch bodybuilders go through their posing routine, it's not masculine. It's more like art. It's like ballet and art kind of combined. There's a glow. Yeah. And some guys are better at flexing than other guys. Oh, I trained at Gold's. When I was training for the movie, I trained at Gold's in Venice.

And I mean, you can't believe what human beings are capable of doing to their body. Yeah. It's fascinating. The size of these people. are capable of doing to their body. Yeah. It's fascinating. Yeah. The size of these people. Yeah. Those are the women. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. They're very strong. It's bananas. It's interesting the psychology that goes into the poses. Oh, I know. I read Arnold's book and sort of how he'd play mind games. Yeah.

And posing is sort of like ballet in a sense. It is. As you move to the next one it's like this weird yeah and it all has to do with the symmetry of of the body he's like he thought i was done but i had been saving my double bicep flex for the yeah so then he shot his wad with his double front pec flex and then i shocked him with my double back that's very good yeah i mean you got to remember it's a subculture like anything else it's a subculture. Like anything else, it's a subculture. So when he's talking and saying all this stuff about it, there is a group of people who understand it

and get exactly what he's saying. When I look at it, I'm like, what is he talking about? But you love, I think I've heard you in other interviews talk about how you love in acting how it introduces you to all these subcultures. Oh, it's amazing. Especially like MMA. I love subcultures. I mean, to amazing. Especially like MMA. I love subcultures. I mean, to me, that's the most interesting thing to write about is, you know, because

that's fascinating about people when they're willing to kind of remove themselves from the zeitgeist. Be unconventional. And be unconventional and do this thing. Because when you look at these bodybuilders, you know, as amazing as they are and as hard as they work, people go, oh, no, he's on steroids. I'm like, it doesn't matter what he's on. You have no idea the amount of work that goes into getting your body that way.

And he's risking a lot by taking steroids. Oh, my God. Or she is. And just getting that big. I mean, listen, their hearts are no bigger than yours and mine. They still have to pump all that blood and carry all that oxygen to all that muscle. Yeah.

It's a lot of work. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. What's your favorite subculture at the moment? That's a great question. What is my favorite subculture? D&D, Dungeons & Dragons.

Dungeons & Dragons is not my favorite subculture. My favorite subculture, and I do consider it a subculture, is fighting. Yeah. It really is. It's mine too. Yeah, it's fighting. I could lose myself on YouTube rabbit holes all day. I do it all day long, man.

And, you know, I was a wrestler. Like, I'm really into grappling. I do. I go down to the rabbit hole watching all the files grappling and all this stuff. Do you follow, like, ADCC and all that stuff? Yeah, it's amazing. These guys, you know, Patrick, what's his name? Patrick Dempsey?

Cummings? No, he just, but these guys, they're kids, you know. I wrestled when I was that age and it was like, it wasn't that. These guys have evolved the sport incredibly. Yeah, it's crazy how it still evolves. Because you'd think with some of these like. How about jiu-jitsu? Yeah, like it's changing.

Like it was all about like Marcelo Garcia was like the best for a while. And then John Danaher came in with like heel hooks and all this different foot stuff. No, I mean what they do now, like I trained – this is how old I am. I started training in 1990 with Hickson Gracie on Pico Boulevard. And for those people who don't know, Hickson is the greatest legend in Jiu-Jitsu history. He's the great at Red Belt. He's like the great samurai sensei. He is the Bruce Lee of Jiu-Jitsu he's the great red belt he's like the great sam rice lee of yeah of jiu-jitsu

and and um so i started then nobody knew what jiu-jitsu was it was before a thing called the ufc existed that's how long ago it was and and nobody nobody knew what it was so it was a real subculture and then hickson got invited to go into the uf and he didn't. They put Hoyce into the UFC, and so the UFC started. Because Hoyce was smaller, so they thought it would look better. Yeah, and Hickson wasn't. He was doing valet tutos. He was going to Japan and Brazil, and it was a different thing. And the UFC seemed a little contrived and maybe a little, at the time, a little cheesy.

And so he was, you know, Hickson is the great Hickson. Very serious. Yeah. He doesn't demean himself. And Hoyst went in there and he wiped it up. He won the first two UFCs, you know. And I've become friends with him, too, afterwards, which is really interesting. Well, you hosted a fight show on Netflix.

Yeah. What was your favorite place that you visited there? Israel. For Krav Maga? It wasn't because of the Krav. The Krav was fascinating. Not my favorite. It's a martial art,

but it's defending your life. It's a different thing. But what Israel, for me, was I got a great understanding of what Israeli people are. And without getting political, I'm not saying which side is right or wrong, but this is a country surrounded by 23 hostile nations

that are each and every one of these people, you know, have a history from the Holocaust forward of... They've got to be on their toes. They've got to be on their toes. And, you know, they're defending the dirt. It's not about religion. Yeah. And it just changed my DNA.

I mean, I understood, I got to know and understand a culture that I kind of, being a New Yorker and being, I grew up with Jews. I mean, I grew up with New York Jews. It's a different thing than Israeli Jews. Do you know what I mean? And I just got an incredibly great understanding and respect. I made lifelong friends there, and it was life-changing. Nice. That's cool.

Yeah, there's a toughness. And it's in the men, and it's in the women. And they're fighting for their survival. They're fighting for their existence, their place on the planet, you know, where they occupy. And then, you know, there's the whole – and listen, I've been to Palestine too. I did a movie and I was on that side of the world. What movie was that? Zero Dark Thirty, which was on the second.

Oh, right. Yeah. But I was there for four weeks and I got to be friends with them. And by the way, when I trained in Israel, I went to a couple of boxing places, and I was with Palestinians. I was with Christians. I was with Jews. That's the great thing about fighting. They all came together, and there was no political problems.

It was just a bunch of guys fighting. Do you find it hard as an actor, actor too to take stances on this stuff? Because it's like, I find for myself even with the small audience that we have that I don't really I find myself kind of reluctant to do it because I don't want to alienate some people and I also don't feel like I know enough sometimes. Yeah, you know what? More than

anything, it's good that you say that. It's like I hear a lot of actors get on soapboxes and they talk the talk and they and they they they talk the talk and they and they have no idea really what they're talking about it's like they've been filled in by some publicist um or some assistant and they have you know the the the the crib notes but they really don't understand the you know and look i'm not a big star i'm not a big movie star i come on

and i have a platform but people do ask me questions and i'm like you know what i don't know enough why am i i'm in the entertainment biz i'm an actor i'm like yeah i play make believe i make believe i have a bullet in my leg like what why are you asking me about you know the the relations with you know china because i was in china oh right i went to china so therefore i know everything about yeah you did a huge mega blockbuster from china yeah well it became a huge movie but that was you know that's my point people ask me about you know communist china like i don't know but so what was that story what you did a movie and i haven't seen this one i did a movie called wolf warrior 2 which which Wolf Warrior 1 was very successful in China,

not like this. And my agents at CAA said, they called, they want you to be the bad guy in the movie. And I'm like, well, what is this? Well, China. And they go, well, it's this much money. It was a lot of money. And because of the Captain America stuff,

they're big fans. And probably no one's going to see it outside of China, but it's a lot of money. And it's all first-class stuff. Yeah, let me go do it. I've never been to China. What a great experience. It's made almost a billion dollars.

And now you're the most famous American actor in China. One of the most famous. And you have merch there, right? Oh, yeah, man. Oh, that's awesome. Shirts and stuff. And, you know, the deal, Joe Carnahan's my partner. We have a company called War Party.

Our development deal came out of China. So this company, Starlight, great company. Sly's got a deal there too. Roland Emmerich, James Gray,

they gave us an overall deal because I had a big... James Gray? Yeah. Is that who financed Ad Astra and stuff like that? I think so.

Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So, yeah, I mean, China, it's turned out to be a big thing. Do you go to, like, Comic-Cons in China? Not in China. I've gone to many Comic-Cons, but not in China.

But they invite me. But we were just in Shanghai at the Shanghai Film Festival. And it's kind of overwhelming because, you know, I'm just a work, an actor here. And I go over there and it's like, people are like, they're on you. You get a feel like what it's like to be, you know, yeah. I mean, which is kind of scary.

I bet. It's nothing I want. It sounds alienating. Oh, it's scary. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the energy is scary. Yeah, and for me, I'm kind of like introverted. So if with that kind of energy, like you just want to retreat.

Oh, yeah. Even if you're not introverted, I can handle myself at a party. I could be good time Charlie. It's just, it's weird energy because people don't know what to do with themselves. It's like creepy. It's creepy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I don't know why people want to be mega famous. I don't get it. I still don't get it. What level of fame do you aspire to? Listen, I'm happy right where I am. Right. I walk down the streets and people all day are like, hey, man, dig your stuff. Hey, man, I saw your show on Netflix.

Hey, dude. Hey, man, great stuff. All good. So do you write down, these are my goals for the year? Is it more kind of like? No, I have no more goals. I've achieved my goals that I want to as far as my acting career. I want to do other things now.

We have this production company. We have a couple movies in the works. We've made four movies. We have a couple TV shows we want to do. I like creating things on that level and then still kind of exploring some acting stuff. But now it's... I save my money.

I'm a smart guy. And, you know, there's other things in life that I want to explore. Like I did the Netflix, did Fight World. I didn't make any money on it. I traveled. I got to see the world. Right. I got to meet some amazing human beings.

I got to be around fighters. I was in Thailand with Bok Ko, the greatest Muay Thai fighter. Oh, he's amazing. I mean, he was rubbing my neck after we started. You know, and I was in Africa. I was in Israel. I was in Brazil. I mean, I got to be with some great people.

His Instagram, you'd think he was in a boy band or something. Oh, it's amazing. Yeah. It's amazing. But then you watch him fight. Boy, he was one of the baddest guys. The power. He's not an active fighter anymore.

He still is. He's about done. Him and Sanchai are like the two. Yeah, he's about done. Now he's just, you know, he's a legend. What is it you love about fighters? For me, it's that they're, like when I go to the gym, the thing I love about it is that everyone's competitive with each other,

but then there's also a humility where everyone. It's brotherhood. Yeah. Yeah, man. Look, I've been doing it a long time. I competed at high levels. And at the end of the day, there's nothing but respect. Where did you compete?

In wrestling and jiu-jitsu. I boxed in the gloves. So at levels where you're fighting real guys. It's not smoker fights and stuff. But at the end, it doesn't matter what this the through line is at the end you hug each other yeah i don't care what how what you're saying before because a lot of that is just a bunch of hubris yeah afterwards you went through something that just this other guy did with and there's nothing but truth right you can't hide when you're on the mat or in the ring or in the cage.

And then you've got nothing but mad respect for each other, right? Yeah, they say fighters are the most peaceful. They are. Because you have that, like, energy within you. Yeah, except for Conor McGregor. But he's peaceful, too, if you knew him in real life. I've met him. You know, he's come and he's sparred the guy I trained with, Chris Van Heerden.

I met him, you know, he's come and he's sparred my, the guy I train with, Chris Van Heerden. He came down in Santa Monica before he fought Nate Diaz and he sparred with my guy who's a pro boxer. And he's a humble dude. I mean, he's a, you know, a lot of that stuff is entertainment. He's good at marketing. And is he too famous now, you think? Like, he just, the level of eyes on him. I just think he's, I just think he's, he's expired as far as the thing that he was. Right. The fighter that he was.

He's got to change. It's expired. He's got to change whatever clown mask he's wearing. Look, what Khabib did to him, what Khabib did to him on the ground exposed him in a way that in MMA, you're in trouble. Right. I mean, it was, you know, he obviously could not handle being down there. But I don't know. I don't know if there's many wrestlers like Khabib who are...

You don't have to be Khabib, but there's a lot of guys... You think like Ally at Quinter or someone like that could get him down? There's a lot of great wrestlers out there. Yeah. Listen, McGregor had a great run. Yeah. Maybe he'll come back. Maybe.

I mean, he's made a lot of money. But maybe he won't come back. Who are your favorite fighters to watch MMA or boxing? Tony Ferguson, I love. Yeah. I mean, right now I think he's probably my favorite guy to watch. My buddy Juan Archuleta, who just lost a tough one in Bellator, four for a belt.

I love him because he's aggressive. He always comes forward. Great wrestler who's learned. Did he lose to Pitbull? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was on like an 18-bout winning streak. He just improved every time he fought. I love to watch him fight.

Yeah, I love to watch Cowboy fight. I really do. It's always fun. There's a bunch of them that I like to watch. I really do. I mean, you know, I'm great friends with Rampage Jackson, so I always like to watch him fight. Right.

Because he's got that gigantic right hand. Yeah. And I think he's fighting again soon. Do you get worried about him because he's up there? Yeah, I do get worried about him. And he's big. He's fighting big guys. When those guys hit each other, it's scary.

It's a different kind of species. Yeah. Yeah, their bone density and just like the size of their hands. Oh, it's tough. It's tough. Yeah. How do you like wearing the producer hat? I love it. Yeah? hat? I love it.

Yeah? I really do love it. I mean, it's fun because there's a lot of obstacles. So you've got to come up with a lot of tactics to get around those obstacles. And it's like a puzzle, you know? What are some obstacles? Well, listen, the way Joe and I put movies together, a lot of it has to do with, you know, the foreign financing and, you financing and the tax credits here.

So there's a lot of moving parts that you have to kind of put together. It's like a Rubik's Cube. And if one piece falls out, you have to replace it because it all has to come together. Do you like pitching? I do not, but he's great at it. Carnahan's great at it. So we go in there and he lights the room up. And then I just kind of pepper it with my stupid sarcasm.

Nice. Yeah. Do you like writing? I don't. I've not kind of done that. Yeah. Here's the thing about doing shit. You don't know if you're good at something unless you do it.

Right. And we all went to school and we all know how to write. But there's something about writing that's always kind of kept me away from it. But I don't know if I – and I'm too anxious all the time to sit down and do anything for a period of time. If it's not like I ride dirt bikes and, you know, go box. I need to do things that are hyperphysical and keep my mind away from everything else. Do you do therapy? I do do therapy.

How do you do that therapy and i just started it like a year ago you love it i love it man i've been i've been thinking about getting into i'm gonna tell you my guy my guy is uh he teaches at stanford he's as much of a brain scientist as he is a therapist so there's there's a lot of that going on so it doesn't feel as like just like it's not talk therapy you know he kind he kind of like, he kind of. It's a little bit of a science. More like a mechanic getting into the engine. I'm telling you, I got a movie coming out in two weeks called Black and Blue, Sony movie.

Really, I'm really happy with this movie. Netflix, right? Yeah. No, it's all over the world. It's a big release. Big release. Awesome. And while I was filming that movie last year in New Orleans,

I got the call that you never want to get. My sister called me and said, Mommy died. And my mother, who was like my pal, she was only 17 years older than me, I talked to her on a Tuesday, and on Wednesday she came home and dropped dead. And then I saw Sony shut the movie down for a week I flew home we took care of that

and my father who had struggled with alcohol his whole life drank himself to death three weeks later wow when did this happen?

this happened about eight months ago I'm so sorry yeah so both of them were gone in a span of four weeks and I was I didn't know how to, I wasn't dealing with it.

I was like in total denial. And I had to get back to work. And then I had to fly to Croatia to do another movie. So I didn't get the chance to kind of, so I'm like, I got to talk to somebody. I got to figure this out. Because otherwise it's going to come out in another way. And it's not going to be healthy for anybody. Did it hit you at a certain point?

You know, it's just starting to because the holidays are coming and my Italian mother's holidays are coming. And so now I'm starting to realize I'm never going to see them again or talk to them. And I have messages and stuff saved on my phone that I listen to periodically. And I just started, as I've seen the therapists now for the past eight months, I started to dream about them because I'm constantly talking about them. And so it's opened up this world that I kind of, I just kind of went like this.

And I was like, I poo-pooed therapy my whole life. I was like, no, I can deal with it myself. You know, I'm smart. And I'm not, I can deal with it myself. You know, I'm smart. And I'm not, I can deal with my, this therapy thing is the coolest thing I've ever done. Yeah. Are you spiritual? Of course.

I mean, I am. I'm very spiritual and constantly seeking spirituality in different places. You know, like I was in Africa when I went to do Fight World. And, you know, they're Muslims in Sen places. You know, like, I went, I was in Africa when I went to do Fight World and, you know, they're Muslims in Senegal. They're Sufi Muslims which are mystical.

It's the, and they're very tolerant. And I started to really kind of learn about the Sufis and how they approach life and how beautifully tolerant they are.

I mean, they could, their women could be in full burqas or they could dress like us. And so I started to kind of, I'm always kind of searching out the people

who kind of seem to me like it's better than Catholicism. Because I grew up Catholic and it didn't work out for me. Yeah, I find if you're raised in it, it's harder to stick with it. Yeah. So your mom was 17 when she had you. Yeah, almost 18. How old was your dad?

He was 19. And so were they just like high school sweethearts? They didn't even go to high school. A couple of dummies dropped out of high school and then they eloped. Whoa, so their families were not supportive? Yeah, they're Italian immigrants. Oh, so they were both born in Italy? No, my father and then my mother's, but their families are all immigrants.

Her parents were immigrants. I'm basically first and a half generation. And you have siblings? I have a brother and a sister. What do they do? My brother owns, in New York City, he owns the largest speech pathology company that they supply all of the New York schools with speech pathologists. Whoa.

And my sister and her husband own a law firm, a very successful law firm. Wow, so everybody's successful. Everybody's doing okay. That's cool. What do you attribute that to? I think, you know, we have a big family. We have a lot of cousins.

And the first generation all went to college. They all kind of made something of themselves. Everybody kind of followed their older cousins and brothers and into school. And, and, uh, you know, we grew up playing sports and there was affluence with, with that. And so you followed the other people. And, and, uh, and I think, look, my brother followed me and my sister followed my brother and, and, uh, you know, it wasn know, it wasn't an option to be a bum. So a healthy community. Community is everything. I mean, when you look around the world and you look to where the people live the longest,

it has nothing to do with food or, you know, whether you smoke or not or how much you sleep. It's about the sense of community. Are you trying to live long? I was. And now I think, I think i want to live that long what's it what's like the target it's exhausting yeah maybe 80 80 would be good i think you're still gonna be this jack yeah i got that oms i want to live in a in a cave somewhere right you know i don't know take a break And you started in finance, right? Literally.

Now it's become, for people who know me, more mythical than anything. For a minute, I was a finance major. Where did you go to school? Yeah, NYU. How did you like NYU? It was good. But so you weren't with the Tisch kids? No.

Those kids? Those lollipops? No. What is lollipops? I went to real school. What's lollipop you know they've parents sent to school to learn drama yeah yeah I'll show you drama when when you when you when you're like around those people on set now and they're like like can you when you see another actor trying to be tough can you

kind of tell if they're well I get just another human being trying to be tough you know it's it's and again i'm around professional fighters so you everybody should know their place like you know i never told anybody i'm a fighter i'm not you know i train i'm around fighters and this is why i'm so amazed by them because what they do is amazing uh but yeah there's a lot of people in our town and this business that you to consider themselves tough men, and they're not. But I even mentioned their acting. Can you kind of see? Yeah, it's manufactured.

Yeah, you're like, you haven't seen tough guys. Right, it's manufactured. I grew up in the Bronx. Pretty much everybody had to be tough. Who's the toughest actor? Toughest actor. I mean mean as far as fighting you know i got friends like my buddies that that train like johnny bernthal he knows how to fight yeah but he grew up like james badge dale i don't know if you know he's sure yeah they're both jacked

yeah but bernthal went to like that school in dc where all the politicians yeah yeah no he was but he went off and he fought you know he boxed he went to harvard or D.C. where all the politicians came to. Yeah, yeah. But he went off and he fought. He boxed. He went to Harvard or something like that? He's a smart guy. Yeah. Yeah, he's a smart guy. He's a great actor. But he sounds like he grew up next door to you.

Yeah, he rolls with some tough guys. Right. But there's those guys out there. It's not the big guys. It's not the big guys that you think. Who's the chillest actor? Chillest. You know, he's a little bit older, uh liam neeson oh yeah he's cool man i bet he's just chill on the gray yeah he's just like we just became great my son's name is

liam i named him after liam before i met liam that's awesome you need to name him after liam neeson went to see went to see the cru Broadway. Wow. And my wife at the time was pregnant, and we didn't have a name. And my wife is Irish, half Irish. I'm a father junkie. I really am, because my father was kind of not around when I was a kid.

Out comes this six-foot-six behemoth with this great face and this big body, and he's bellowing and Irish. And I was like, we should name the kid liam so years later conahan hires me to do the gray and he calls me i'm in new york he goes what are you doing i go i'm sitting in my apartment he goes come up west side i'm with liam you'll meet him and we'll you know have some have some beers yeah i went went up and sat with him for like five hours. We closed the bar. I drank about 40 Guinnesses that night.

And at the end of the night, I told him that I named my son after him. And as I'm telling him the story, I'm like, this is either going to sound really weird or he's going to get it. Yeah. And I told him, and we both were like tearing. Really? Yeah, it was great. It was a great, you know, two guys in a pub. That's cool? Yeah, it was great. It was a great, you know, two guys in a pub. That's cool.

Yeah, it was great. What was it like on set with him? Was he sort of like... Oh, man, you know, his wife tragically had passed away very shortly before we had done the movie. She had died in a skiing accident. Yeah. And so he was coming there.

This was a cathartic experience for him because he's coming off this, you can't even imagine this tragedy. He's got two young sons. And it was just him and four guys in the wilderness. Like we were shooting. Yeah, it was on location. In Smithers, British Columbia in the winter.

It was 30 degrees below zero every night. We worked at nights. And so it became like this bonding, this incredibly bonding, masculine, existential kind of experience. And we all became... That's in the movie, too. The movie is really...

It is. ...tackles that existentialism. It does. Incredibly, like... That's what it is, yeah. I mean, you know, I always tell... Sometimes Joe gets down on himself, and I'm like, what am I doing?

I'm like, bro, you wrote and directed The Grey. So shut up. When Liam was going through all of his crazy stuff because of his comments, did you send him like some support? Oh, I talked to him every day. He gets, it was taken out of context. That guy is the most liberal, non-judgmental, non, there couldn't be a less racist guy that I've known. He just, you know, he comes from a place where he

talks a certain way and people jump on him. But if you notice, it never sticks to him because he's not any of that. And so you could bait him a bit because he does say some things that sometimes people go, what are you saying that for? But it's not, there's not an ounce of venom.

This guy reads poetry all day long. Does he? He reads. That's what he does. I mean, he's the most gentle creature. Yeah. He's one of my favorite human beings. Yeah, he's a great actor, too.

Oh, my God. Amazing. I'm a big Carnahan fan. Did he direct Pride and Glory, too? No. Or he wrote that? He wrote it with Gav and Gav directed. That was a good movie.

Yeah. It was super underrated. Yeah, it was dark. You know why it was underrated? Because there was no levity in the movie. There was no anything. It was bleak. It's gritty.

It's from the first frame of the last one. And Gavin, if you know Gavin Gavin who's a great friend of mine and an amazing director he's an incredibly talented guy he would not relent I mean he was this is the movie

and this is the world there is no levity it's you know aside from the little cop jokes and we're gonna make it this way and he fought for it

and he did the same thing with Warrior he did but there was a little bit more levity in Warrior and again And we're going to make it this way. And he fought for it. And he did the same thing with Warrior. Yeah. He did. But there was a little bit more levity in Warrior. And again, underrated movie that eventually got an audience later on. Yeah. And became a very popular film. Right.

Yeah, both really good movies. Yeah, he's amazing. Yeah. How do you like to be directed? Again, I read the script a hundred times. I come to work. Nobody knows anything about what I'm doing more than I do, right? So I want to be directed in a sense that I'm serving the script.

I'm serving the movie. If you see there's a better way in the scene that i should be serving you let me know right but other than that most directors hire you because they know you're gonna make the page better right right and so guys like woody allen even joe carnahan or gavin or clint they don't give you a lot of direction because you're expecting... Clint Eastwood? Yeah, they don't, you know... What Clint Eastwood movie?

No, I've not worked with him. Oh, that's just his style. I've had lots of friends. Yeah, lots of friends. I heard he shoots the rehearsal and then you don't even know him. Oh, yeah, man. And he trusts you.

Listen, unless he really was wrong, 90% of making a great movie is hiring the right people. Right. That's it. And when you hire the right people. That's it. And when you hire the right people, they come prepared. Hands-off approach. There you go.

Unless it's really something that specific. It's technical. It might be technical. You might be moving your face too much. It's close-up and let's do a little bit less. But other than that, usually the great ones don't really give a lot of direction. Is that demoralizing when you're working with a director that you don't trust and you're on like day 30 or day 20 out of like 40?

It's not demoralizing. You know what it is? It's scary because at the end of the day, it's your face on the 30-foot screen. And so if this guy, if you don't trust this guy, imagine going to sea on a ship and the guy who's got the wheel you don't think could drive around right doesn't know what it's like wait a minute it's your shit iceberg over there what are you looking over there for it's like you know that's all it is and it's like then you're like wait a minute i gotta do this by myself right right and so but you got other actors and other people i'm like you know then you got to talk to the camera what am i doing you know what does this

look like i don't i don't trust this guy. I don't keep quiet. I'm a very vocal New York Italian guy. Does the conflict ever help you think? It sparks some creativity or some respect? At a great conflict comes great drama. Oh, nice. Yeah.

Keep them on the toes. You read about those 70s movies, and it sounded like everyone was on the edge of disaster. Oh, nice. Yeah. Keep them on the toes. You read about those 70s movies and it sounded like everyone was on the edge of disaster. Oh, it is. Most of the movies are on the edge of disaster. Listen, a lot of movies I made, there's not a movie I've been in that was substantial. Whether it's like Warrior of the

Grey or Captain America. There's always conflict. Always. Because it's creative process. And your creative process and yours and mine are going to be different at some point. Always. Because it's creative process. And your creative process and yours and mine are going to be different at some point. Yeah. And we're going to butt heads. Is your energy different if you're one or like seven on the call?

Yeah, man. You know what? I got to tell you. If you're one, if you're number one, it means you're number one for a reason. You have a responsibility. Right. And shit rolls downhill. So however you set the stage, that's going to be the tone of the movie. So I don't care.

When you're the guy, you have a responsibility to keep everybody's morale up even if you have a problem. If you have a problem, you've got to take it outside. But it's fun being number four. You know what I mean? It's fun being number five and number four when you're with great actors

and, you know, it's a little less weight on your shoulders and you get to have a lot of fun. Right. If the director fucks up then, you're like,

you know what? Fuck it. You can fuck with him. You know what I mean? You can fuck with him and it's fun to do that. Yeah. Were you good at auditioning?

I was okay. I got good. I got good. You know... Out of necessity? I got... Well, you know, after I worked with Nick Nolte. In Warrior? I worked with Nick, yeah.

He changed me as an actor, and I kind of shifted the way I approached things, and everything kind of fell into place after that. I had the tools, but they weren't necessarily working the right way. Yeah. And Nolte's just a fucking legend. The way he works is amazing. Yeah. What became your approach after that?

Just to take the deep dive, like to really, like, look, anything, you want to be successful. I'm sure you guys have read the book Outliers, right? The Malcolm Gladwell book. I have. There's no accident to success. And you know what it takes? A lot of time. Yeah. Bible book. There's no accident to success. And you know what it takes? A lot of time. And so you realize, well, I'm putting the time in, but I'm not putting the time where you become

Nick Nolte. It's not an accident to become Nick Nolte, right? He does the work. I've worked with guys like Mel Gibson and Liam and Edward Norton. And these guys do an incredible amount of homework, an incredible amount. And you realize if you want to be at that level or if you want to dance at the dance where these guys are, you've got to do the work. Yeah. You know? With Edward – sorry, go ahead. No, no. Yeah, it's interesting with movies and stuff, you know, you just see the end product and you never really think about the preparation that goes into it.

Right. Even in just like a small part, it's –'s harder sometimes it's hard yeah because you don't have an arc yeah or the arc is is is unidentifiable and so you got to come in there really without being egregious right you gotta you gotta do your thing and and and hopefully somebody will you know you'll be appreciated for doing that thing because you're supporting. You know what I mean? Yeah. When you got the role, it's easier to kind of put it together.

Yeah. Yeah. And then on set, the grit that you need to have. Oh, yeah, man. Just to persevere for it. I mean, even just like, we shot Hawaii Five-0 for like five days. Oh, you did? And it was awesome.

It was fun. We were in Hawaii. We loved it. Oh, it was great. But I mean, it's a tough schedule. Yeah. We were up at like five. Oh, those TV schedules are brutal. You were on soap operas, right? When I started, yeah, when I But I mean, it's a tough schedule. You know, we were up at like five. Oh, those TV schedules are brutal.

You were on soap operas, right? When I started, yeah, when I was young, I was on a soap opera, Guiding, just one, Guiding Light. Were you single? I was married to my first wife and then became single during that. Okay. Yeah. Do you get a lot of like attention though?

Because you're so visible. Yeah. What's that like? It's awesome. It's been a long time. When I was on a soap opera, I got a lot of attention. Everything's got their fans. But now, look, now I'm a grown man and I walk around looking like this.

And people don't approach me comfortably anymore. You know what I mean? You think you kind of intimidate people well I just think they think I might be a certain type of guy right and so they'll look at you know they wave from a distance but you know unless they're kids kids will come right up you know but but adults

are a little more like which is good you know and you know I just have to fucking look at them a little like what the fuck are you looking at man right I'm like oh no, I just was a fan. I was like, yeah. But you do look like a movie star. No, I don't. I look like a bum.

Look at me. I look terrible. No, you look great. No, I don't. I haven't washed. You know you look great. I haven't showered in days. I haven't used soap in days.

That's like the movie star move, I think. Yeah. I haven't used soap. Yeah. Yeah, no, I could see that because you, I mean, I could see being intimidated, but you do have a warmth once you start talking to you. I am. I'm a, I'm, I am, I'll, I'll talk to anyone.

Yeah. And, and, you know, I grew up a blue collar guy, right? And, and my mother, my, again, my father was, rest his soul, he put us through a lot. But my mother was steadfast. She worked three jobs. And she cleaned houses. And she did these things that most people don't want to do. Do you know what I mean?

But she did it. And she took care of us. So I have such a place in my heart and such respect and a deep respect for the security guard for the guy working at the desk at the at my building in my apartment you know like i got time for everybody and uh because you know a lot the problem i have a lot of times with people especially in la and can be new york sometimes is that they they treat these people like they're invisible, like they're there, uh, you know, like they're lawn ornaments. Like I see it a lot. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it can happen easily because people, especially if you like have a elevated station, like people just come up and give you, like you asked for a drink,

someone just hands it to you and you don't look at, you could very easily just grab it and not look. Right. And, and, and, you and you know there's there's a saying and i'm just going to paraphrase it but you know it's like i don't care how much money you have i don't care what your status is what i care about is how i see you treat other people right and so that to me is what i instill in my kids it's like you know you don't i remember walking down the street we were living in uh in chelsea in new y New York City, and it was a homeless guy. He used to be right. And my middle guy said, you know, he said, Daddy, why is that bum always there?

I go, don't ever call him a bum. And I said, well, why don't you ask him? He goes, I can't talk to him. He's mean. I go, why is he mean? And so you start to ask your kids these questions, and you realize that these ideas about people started at a very young age.

So I made him go and talk to the guy. And it turned out the guy had a lot to say. The guy kidnapped him. No, it turned out he had a lot to say. And we wound up becoming friends with him. And we wouldn't walk past him ever without my kids wanting to give him money or give him a piece of coffee cake or a bagel they would if they went to get a bagel they wanted to give john a bagel yeah and so we'd give john a

bagel and he'd say good morning every day and all of a sudden he became a person he wasn't just a guy on the street he was a human being right and so it's that's how i am in my life right i have time for everyone until i don't have time for anyone which is the people who are i feel that they think they're privileged yeah i got no time for privileged people it seems like you have a deep sense of gratitude i do yeah i do and and i do every day and i remember that and therapy's been great for this but i remember that every time i get a little you know you know into myself right i'm like wait wait a minute, jerk off. Look what you do for a living, you idiot.

What are you complaining about? You know what I mean? So it's hard because I've had a very nice life. I mean, there was a lot of chaos, but it was overall, I think I've had it better than most. But I still find myself. As far as your family? Yeah, my family and just like, yeah, and the way I lived my life.

Right. Yeah. Well, that's my kid. My kids. You know, my son's 20. He's had a privileged life. He won't, if I ever see him, act as if he had a privileged life. So it's a matter of...

I try to be aware of it. You should. Yeah. And I still will find myself like, I'll make little mistakes and I'm like, oh, yeah. So we all do. And sometimes bigger than that. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I still will find myself like, I'll make little mistakes and I'm like, oh, yeah. So we all do. And sometimes bigger than that. Right. You know what I mean?

Yeah. But that's the human condition. Do you ever, are you ever like, do you, because my dad used to do this to me. He'd be like, and he was a great dad, but he'd be like, what the fuck do you have to complain about? Right. And it was always a good question too. I'd be like, well, I don't know, but I feel overwhelmed with feelings and I'm pissed off

about something. But that's being a human being, right? Right. That's, you know, everything's starting to fire. And you don't know. You're just emotional because you're emotional. You're growing. You're hormones.

You don't know why you're emotional. I, unfortunately, and I don't want to say anything bad about him. He's not here to defend himself. But I didn't have a great father. He wasn't a great father. Like, he had me when he was young, and he had to hustle. And so he had to keep his head above water. His circumstances.

Wasn't educated, right? So he never had a career. He had a series of whatever jobs he had. And so there was not that connection. There was no growth emotionally. There was certainly no kind of lessons that were being taught to us as children. So you're kind of like a bit feral for a little while. Yeah.

And you got to figure it out yourself, you know, and you can go one of two ways. You can go the bad way and kind of. Was being able to say that your dad wasn't like an ideal father something you learned in therapy? No, I've always, I've been really cognizant of it and I'm not ashamed of it. And the guy did the best he could, but he didn't do a good job.

And I'm not ashamed of it. And the guy did the best he could, but he didn't do a good job. You know, he was a little abusive, very abusive emotionally, and he drank all the time. And it was a tough child. You know, that's what my reptile brain is so powerful. Would you guys fight? Yeah. I mean, when I was 15, I beat my father up. I tried.

I did. And by the time I could take him down, he had aged out of my mind. No, you know, I was a wrestler, you know, and my father got physical. You double-legged him. And I beat him up. Yeah. It was bad. And then I felt it was the worst feeling of my life.

It's biblical, you know. And, again, I talk about it because I want, you know, if there's anything, you know, where people are listening to me, you shouldn't be ashamed of any of this because you're a product of your environment. Were you the only one of your siblings who fought him? Yes. Yeah. And then once I straightened him out with not being able to put his hands on us, when I was around, he didn't go near anybody. Right. He kept his distance.

What did your mom think of it? She, you know, she was mad at me at first and then I, but, you know, I protected my mother. Me and my dad, we would fist fight

and then the next day we would like laugh about it at the dinner table and then my mom would go, don't laugh about it. To her, it was like really traumatic and I think for us

it was traumatic too. It is traumatic. But we had conditioned ourselves to kind of be like, well, let's laugh about it because that makes it easier to yeah but listen there's something a lot there's something a lot deeper than yeah but you know my father again both my parents died suddenly right um i never got a chance to reconcile any of it with them so now it's like now i have to kind of figure it out you got this you got this big energy around it. Yeah, but you know what?

I'm like, okay, I imagine that it's not that complex because they weren't complex human beings. They certainly weren't complex thinkers. So it's kind of easy to maneuver and manage my way through. What makes you say they're not complex thinkers? They weren't complex thinkers. They thought about survival. They really did.

They thought – we literally – So you mean when it comes to feelings? Well, about – because if you're thinking about the basic needs of a human being, which is shelter and food and water and safety. I'm not kidding. That's what they thought about. The lowest Maslow hierarchy of needs. That was it. Yeah.

They never got ahead of that because The lowest Maslow hierarchy of needs. That was it. Yeah. They never got ahead of that because they could never get ahead of that because they never had enough money to be safe and secure for more than 30 days. Right. Ever. So do you think all that just kind of unrefined energy, is that what pushed you into acting? I think it's what would push me period that's what keeps me being pushed it's like i still approach every day like i talk to my agents at caa or you know it i it's like i just started like i i have this energy to where you know i can feel it when you came in i was like all right it's on yeah yeah everything i do i go to the gym i'm

training i mean i'm i'm training like I'm going to go back and fight. It's not like I'm just going through the motions because I want to lose four pounds. I'm training right next to pros. I believe in my head if I want to fight you, I can fight you right now. He's 25 years old. Isn't that funny? I get that thought sometimes. I'll look at a pro fighter and I'll be like, I could kick his ass and then he'd feel them

on the pads or something. But no, but I can. I can fight them. I can fight them. You think you could take them? Oh, I can fight them. I can spar with them. You can keep them busy. I spar with them on the pads or something. No, but I can. I can fight them. I can fight them. Oh, you think you can take them? Oh, I can fight them. I can spar with them. You can keep them busy.

I spar with them all the time. So can I go 12 rounds with a 25-year-old professional athlete? Probably not. Right. But I can get in there and I can fight because I know how to do that, right? Right. But in my mind, the training aspect of it, I'm training exactly. I train with the pros because that's what I want to do.

I have to be at the highest level that I can be to do this or I don't want to do it. So I want to be excited about it every day. I want to be excited about the next acting job, the next producing thing. If I get a script, if we're going to write a script, I want to be excited about it. I want to be firing on all cylinders. Yeah. Did you find any father figures in your life? Many.

I have. And again, I am a bit of a father junkie. So, you know, I have found guys who, whether for short periods of time or for longer periods of time, that I looked up to, I respected, I asked questions. You know, I still, sometimes I feel like I'm 10 years old. You know, I'll ask people, you know, I'm pals with Gibson, with Mel, and who's gone through a lot of trouble in his life. And he's had a great life and he's had a shitty life at the same time. And I'm fascinated by him and how he's managed to kind of persevere.

And I've learned about who he is as a person and the things I thought were true were not true and vice versa. And I'm constantly asking him questions and looking at him as a, you know, as an older brother or father figure, you know, still. How often do you guys talk? Oh, we talk three,

four or five times a week where I'm at his house, you know, every other weekend we're having a barbecue and stuff. We're going to do another movie at the, in the middle of 2020 together. Right. We got this other thing coming out. And he's Mel.

Listen, he's the first one to tell you. He's made some huge mistakes and said some things that he regrets. But at the same time, nobody is that thing that you think he is. Exactly. Do you know what I mean? I was going to ask you about that. So with all that crazy energy that you came up and you're such an intense dude did it ever like get away from you with like

partying or yes drugs and not true i've never done heavy drugs i've never done cocaine or because i'm always into sports and you know i wanted to be i was always afraid of doing drugs like that but i've dabbled in other stuff but i drink i mean i mean, I used to drink. I mean, I was with some crazy dudes. And we would get drunk. And we would be assholes. Right. Really be assholes. Did you hit a kind of – because I hit a bottom with, like, partying.

And I was all fucked up with, like, porn and sex stuff too. And then I just, like, it got unmanageable. Yeah. And then our stuff started to kind of take up time. And then you want to make a decision what you're going to do with your life. With me, it was violent. I would get violent oh you were throwing i got myself into trouble uh because of violence and uh you know being in bars and getting into trouble are you trying to kick your dad's ass a little bit no no you probably yeah i blame my father yeah that's

actually my brother does the same thing he goes it's my it's your fault my father's the way he is and he would fight but but i wound up you know in a bad situation in a court and trial and you know it was ugly and and that's when i said to myself wait a minute i'm either going to kill somebody or i'm going to get killed that's why i used to tell my buddy ross and say ross you're going to win this fight you're going to kill this guy that's right and that's what almost happened and that was like wait a minute and ross is like i don't want to on the straight arrow now yeah did a lot of maturing yeah Yeah, you learn fast. How'd you get through that trial thing?

How'd you get in a good headspace to get through it? It was tough. It was a couple of years. It was a couple of years because it went on forever. And it cost a lot of money that we didn't have. And, you know, you just, you kind of make a decision which way you want to go with your life. It's like, wait a minute, I'm not going to jail for the rest of my life.

So I got to straighten myself out. Because if this happens again, I'm going to get screwed. I'm in trouble. Right. And if you have the ability to hurt somebody and you don't, you're not responsible with that ability, well then you're scary. Yeah. Yeah. Are you sober now responsible with that ability. It's scary. You're scary.

Yeah. Yeah. Are you sober now? I'm not. No, and I don't drink in excess. I drink frequently. Yeah. I just don't drink a lot.

So I'll drink a glass or two of wine. And you're able to cap it? I'm fine. Yeah. Do you know a lot about wine? I do, man. Yeah. Smell the cork. I love it.

I love wine. Wine's fun. What's your favorite? Wine is food. My favorite is probably the thing I drink most is Bordeaux's. Bordeaux's. Yeah. I love wine. Wine's fun. What's your favorite? Wine is food. My favorite is probably the thing I drink most is Bordeaux's. Bordeaux's. Yeah, I love Bordeaux's. You know, it's simple.

Yeah. And you've got a good crew of dudes, right, around you? Yeah, I do. I do. How often do you kick it with your boys? You know, I try not to. I'm a gym rat, so that's when we get the time in there. Yeah.

I'm in two gyms a day and all my boys are in the gyms and so sometimes at night i'll go out and and uh have dinner with my guys and stuff and and but we're all listen we're all grown men and you know you have responsibilities and work and and and you try not to get too uh too crazy do you always try to maintain sort of a a big social life or how do you sort of balance social life and work life? No, I'm not a big... Like last night, my buddy Mark Mahoney, who's a famous tattoo artist,

Shamrock Tattoos and Sunset. He's tattooed everybody. He's doing this thing with Paul Smith. So last night, I said, my boy's having this thing, I'm going to go. I was there for a half hour. Yeah. And then I went home.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not a social butterfly like I used to be. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of, I always sort of, because our stuff, as it's growing more and more, there's more work. And I just, I'm kind of more of, I'm like, I'm trying to be more social.

Right. Because I like lean towards the works. I get so obsessive. I'm like, I just need to keep working and working. And I'm like, is it to the point where it's unhealthy? Well, if that's the works. I get so obsessive. I'm like, I just need to keep working and working. And I'm like, is it to the point where it's unhealthy? Well, if that's the thing. But LA, it's a tricky bird, LA. Because there's a lot of people not doing things.

So you can be social every night. Do you know what I mean? And there's this weird kind of nothing is going on for a lot of people and so it's a weird energy i feel that when i go out sometimes yeah i kind of like people like yeah we're going out we're going i'm like to do what to do what i don't get it do what yeah to talk about what yeah or to talk about who yeah a lot of people talk about people in la yeah oh i talk i'm trying to watch that because i'm just like talking shit like i I'll sometimes like, I'm like,

I like love having information. Like I'll go up to my friends and be like, guess who told me this? And this other person told me this. Yeah, yeah. I try not to talk

about people ever. Come on. I do. I mean, not people that I know. But then what are you talking about? Talk about things.

I mean, talk about other shit. I mean, I travel. I travel all the time. Yeah. I talk about fighting all day long. That's true. I can talk about fighting all day long.

That's true. I can talk about that all day. You know, last week, tragically, we just found out that Errol Spence Jr., welterweight champion, was in a car accident. So, you know, his trainer, we went out last week to watch him fight. And, you know, it was exciting. He won and then woke up to this thing today. I'm sorry.

Yeah, so, you know, I think he's going to be okay. But a lot of my – I'm talking all day to Joe Carnahan because we have 90 things going on, talking to my agents, talking to my managers, talking to my guys. So it's that stuff. Trying to keep it high level. Yeah, you know, I'm going to fucking talk about people.

Yeah. I get scared about karma and stuff. Yeah, I don't like that. I'm like, this is going to come back. You're good. You don't really talk shit on people it's good not to man i'm kind of superstitious i'm like this is gonna come back no you're good it's good yeah it dead ends me because i'll start i'm talking about someone he's like yeah that's cool and then all right well there's not much place to go where you going with this yeah yeah yeah and you know what else he did

you know what else he did oh man i don't trust that guy he's a it is fun to fish for it though the juice but when you find out something really good yeah you know what i mean oh no you feel like you got this oh you got this thing and you're like what am i gonna do with this thing i gotta give it i gotta show it to somebody what do you mean i found a hundred dollar bill his wife's underwear to work wait what no when did they find this out well i think well i start to hear stuff i'm like oh spill it when you feel the juice and people tell me stuff like that because i'm like open to it so i'm like i'm always like hey man like hey whatever helps you out i'm like i'm like is your work cool with that sort of thing like yeah they should be but are they yeah man it's crazy and nowadays though

i gotta tell you with all that's going on with Me Too and all this stuff, it's like I don't want to say – I don't want to go out and I don't want to talk about anything. But I think it surprises people. Like, De La Hoya loved to dress in women's clothing. And I think it's because he had all that pressure to be this masculine dude. And, like, when I was in my sex education, I liked to be, like, humiliated by, like, these webcam models who would, like – I'd have them tell me i was like nothing because like i i was like that's what i felt like and i was kind of glorifying i was grandiose about i was like oh

i'm like the most i'm so honest about how nothing i am you know what i mean are you kidding so did you go to like uh like uh sex anonymous yeah i'm in there yeah you did yeah yeah i'm not supposed to talk about it but my buddy goes yeah my buddy goes too yeah yeah it's good stuff i love it yeah yeah i'm getting more serious about it he swears by it dude it's great yeah yeah um all right we answer some questions from the uh from our listeners so i just read them real quick okay yep what up dudes i have a very serious issue one of my ride or die homies has recently been acting schmolish uh a schmol is a dude in the friend crew who like is kind of a re-nob re-nob his boner backwards everyone kind of dislikes themnob. Re-nob is boner backwards. Everyone kind of dislikes them, but you can't really get rid of them because they need you.

And you kind of feel like you need to be there for them. They need you. They mean well, but they just keep being annoying. Got it. Yeah. Or re-nob. That's Chad's word. So what do you do? So what's the question?

What do you do? Oh, let's keep going. Sorry. I need your words of wisdom in these troubling times. He used to cool used to rage used to crush brews however since he started going to community college he's been thinking he's hot shit he's not even in a frat so i don't know where the inflated ego is coming from every time i try to hang he's not down he always asks what are we going to do and never wants to spend some valuable time bonding over mcdonald's coke in a parking lot at 12 a.m. I need your guidance. Does he need to be boked?

Every time we hang, he wants to complain. Like I get it, community college football is really hard and demands serious focus, but I still feel like there should be time to funnel some brews. He's also super negative. I'll talk about something and he won't even respond. He just brings up how he's still a virgin and no one loves him. What should I do? By the way, love the fire pod.

Dude, I think you guys are both right. You know, I think he, him wanting to do stuff could be good for you. It sounds like you maybe are keeping it low key, maybe too often, but there's a balance there.

And I think you guys need to find a healthy middle ground and just have an honest discussion about, you know, what's something that could satisfy both of your desires. Cause I think that'll end up being good for both of you. Cause you need that. What's up, Frank? Or you both should find new friends.

That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Dude, that's what we've been hearing lately. It's too much drama for friendship. I don't like to... I'm assuming they're kind of young. Just find new friends. I felt that too because when he talked about how he's negative

and he wants something from this guy that he's not going to be able to get. I'm like, he's on a painful road. He might be jealous of something else. It just sounds like they're not great friends. Yeah, and if he, like our thing is all about stoke. If he's lowering your stoke. Right. There's always other people. What if they've been friends since they were like kids?

Especially you should find new friends. Because, you know, you grow, you evolve, and you don't evolve at the same pace or in the same direction. And so maybe it's nostalgia that's keeping you friends. It's not real friendship. I agree, but I think that shared history can be, well, maybe spending time apart from each other will help, like any other relationship. They talk about that with drinking, too.

Like when you stop drinking, a lot of times those friends that you thought you had, they just sort of fill that void that they're friends to drink with. But then when you cut the drinking out, there's not much there. I don't want to be friends with anybody who doesn't drink. It's easier with giving up porn. It's like, hey, he's not checking out.

That's one thing I never got into. So I don't... Porn? Yeah. What do you masturbate to? I just get laid, man. Oh, my dog. Frank, I believe you.

I just get laid. That's great frank i believe you i just i believe i just get laid that's great i like that all right what up savants of stove just wanted to say that watching the pod today really gave me the huge amp i needed to power through the week seeing the wide oeuvre of vids and appearances you dogs have made this past year has really made me proud to see how hardworking my dogs are it always feels so good to see your boys grow and make it big and i can tell it is just the beginning for you guys. Sorry, I know that's pretty self-serving.

One burning question I have though is how, but I appreciate it. How did the squad never discuss the moment Ellen burned Chad's bronze? I myself am a connoisseur of flambéing my bod as well and when Ellen said

those hurtful words I felt a pain grow deep inside me. That was straight up blasphemous to hear and it was disheartening to see that she put you on blast in front of all the lovely coogs. Chad, how did you deal with this heartless burn? His words

not ours. And what does this mean for your saute sessions in the future? Wow, Ethan. Honestly, I loved it. So we were on Ellen recently and she said I wasn't that tan and I take great pride in my tan, you know. But I loved it, you know. I always love a good kick

in the ass. It's like, you know what, it's sort of see from ellen yeah yeah i mean you you think you work hard you think you've achieved something and then people are like you're not there yet no and that's just like yeah that's just the i'm gonna get out there i'm gonna saute myself even more that's good and just keep getting after it you you uh you don't really have a tan, though. Oh, dude. Gorilla. No, I'm Italian. I mean, I'm an Italian guy. I get like that color on that thing there. Right.

He's pointing at a hockey puck. And I'm poking at a black thing. I get like dark, like this phone. Yeah. So you to me are a pretty light, fair-skinned guy. I'm going to have to slide in here and throw it out of major disagree. My dog Chad's got a premier tan. It's the lighting.

No, I appreciate it. Ellen is Ellen. She is the queen of the mountain. Even the queen can miss sometimes. But, you know, even the queen can miss sometimes. I mean, I'm pale. Oh, fuck, dude. When you put it like that. Also, the size of your forearm. What's up?

I'm pale. I got to get out there and work. I appreciate the support, and I appreciate. You just got to get on the surfboard more, man. I know. It's tough. We're doing so much stuff. I know.

I'm moving closer, though. I'm looking for a new place. All right. get close to the water yeah all right all right i come to y'all with a unique situation i'm a college student recently i've reconnected with someone i never thought i would see again my seventh grade girlfriend we were each other's first crush but after seventh grade i moved away and we didn't talk much over the years but now we go to the same university and live right next to each other after seeing each other at the beginning of the school year we've been hanging out on the reg and I feel like there's something there. We super vibe well together and I love being around her.

Here's the issue. She told me that throughout high school, she would date these bros and lead guys on because she was too nice to turn them down and ditch them a couple of weeks later. What do I do? I really liked this girl and I don't want to get invested and have her ditch me after a couple of weeks of being together. Thanks for keeping my stoke high dogs.

Simply ask her. Just be open. Communicate. Ask her what her intentions are if she feels the same way. Make it simple. This is the problem with young people today. Did you ever struggle with the ladies?

No. So you were kind of good at it from jump? I just never did. I'm proud of the women. But, you know, I come from a generation, you know, back when Lincoln was president

where you just fucking walked up to the girl and you started talking to her. So there's not all this fucking two, you know, computers and phones and you're like worried. It was like,

hey, how are you? There's too many intermediaries. Yeah, man. There's a lot of distractions. Too much mind. Yeah, dude, you know what. It was like, hey, how are you? There's too many intermediaries now. Yeah, man. There's a lot of distractions. Too much mind. Yeah. And you know what women don't like?

Guys who sound like women. I don't know. I'm telling you. No, I believe you. But I think that there's more than one way to go about it. Yeah, I mean, but you got to, listen, listen women girls like boys and men that are opposite of what they are i think i can do both though do what be a woman and a man yeah because i don't think they're that i think that there's a lot of crossover and it's kind of no i mean listen you want to be sensitive and you want to understand what they're saying you want to listen and i know

a lot of dudes who are like more sensitive than women a lot of women who are pretty tough and hard well every every situation not to be like but you don't want to not be masculine you know no i think you got to serve both things you got to be a guy man and what what is that to you like in terms of to be like decisive to be confident right and to be a lot of women a lot of girls still want to be asked out they want to be

do you know what I'm saying I'm probably going to get slammed for saying some of this stuff but no but maybe I think the problem with a generation

is that they're a bit a feat but can you be confident about not being confident? No. I think you can. You're wrong.

Well, you definitely sound more confident than I do. about not being confident? No, because if you're not confident, the confidence in not being confident is nonsense. Well, I'm just saying I've tried to be smooth with women.

You're confident. I think I am. But I've tried to be smooth with women. Don't try confident. I think I am. But I've made, I've tried to be like smooth with women. Don't try to be smooth. But no, but I've failed at it. But I think it's been charming to be authentic. Well, I was. That's what I was.

I was being authentic. Look how cute you are with your curly hair and your beautiful smile. Thank you. Like just be cute. Be authentic. Be you. I try to. I lean into it.

Right? You don't have to be anything else. Right. And that's, be funny. You're funny as fuck. Thank you. Women love funny. Thank you. Right? Maybe don't wear a burgundy else. Right. And that's, it'd be fun. You're funny as fuck. Thank you. Women love funny. Thank you.

Right. Maybe you don't wear a burgundy shirt, but that's another. You don't like the shirt? No, you don't like the shirt? Your shirt's ridiculous. No,

I know. I'm just saying the color. I was fixing my car. That's not a modern shirt. You weren't fixing it. Were you really? I swear to God. You got a little like,

Yeah, I got smegma. I got shit on there. But that seems like set up. Yeah, man, it's an old shirt. What are you talking about?

Anyway, it's the color, the burgundy. That's my opinion. I think it brings out my eyes. It should be tan. But no, really. Seriously, no kidding aside, you just need to be authentic. Yeah. Know what you want.

Say what you feel. Be you. Go in, talk about your tan. I was nervous that whole time. What's up? Talk about your tan. Dude, I mean, that's my go-to. Dude, and to this guy, I would just tell you, dude, like, hey, what's going to happen is going to happen,

but you still got to go out there and experience it. So don't worry about, like, being what happened to these other guys. You're you. It could be different. That's right. And just go give it a shot. And if she's hanging out with you, I mean, you know, there's a chance that she likes you. And if she's got a lot of, you know, she's not the person she's going to be,

and she might be different than who she was already. So, I mean, there's only one way to find out. Yeah. And she's got cute be and she might be different than who she was already so i mean there's only one way to find out yeah yeah she's got cute friends enjoy the moment like we were talking to our buddy uh dan earlier and he was talking about this guy he would just he could ask out any girl and he'd get turned down he'd just come back smiling yeah he's like i got turned down so when get to your head and a loss get to your heart yeah public enemy just enjoy the process yeah enjoy the process yeah you don't want to go out? Okay.

It's a ride. Yeah, see ya. All right, last question. Hello, Chad. Maybe I'll get a better one if this is the last one. No disrespect to that person. Well, they don't even know who they are because you didn't read the question. Right.

You should read it and then say that. Right. Never mind on that question. I love you guys. That means a lot to me. Yeah, i love you guys that means a lot yeah we love you yeah i feel it yeah um let me go do i watch the purge again i saw it when it came out the purge anarchy yeah i love those oh you had brad fuller on too right yeah yeah yeah i love those movies man yeah those are good right so good creepy movies yeah my brother loves them, too. Hey, what would you do

if you had 12 hours to kill anybody you want? I know, it's such a good question. You were great in that, too. And of Watch, too. Oh, and of Watch. Because you have another one

of those, like, you're seen in that where you're talking to the young. Oh, yeah. By the way, the scene was added in last minute.

I could feel it. I was going to ask you that. David Ayer came in. It was so tangential to the story. I need you to say this. was added in. I could feel it. I was going to ask you that. David Ayer came and said, hey, man. It was so tangential to the story. I need you to say this. I'm like, let me see it. I said, it was different guys standing at the desk, but they were real Marines who had just come back from Iraq.

And I said, get those guys and put them over here so I could talk to them about something. And we started talking about Iraq, and they had just come back. And then we did that scene and people love that little scene. And I'm like, we just added that. It was just. And the line,

he took my bullet. Yep. That's great. Yeah. Good for you for noticing that. It was, it was a really good scene. You're a cinephile.

I am. Yeah. I'm confident about that. See? Yeah. So recently the girlfriend broke up with me cause she hooked up with a dude from work. I was crushed. We were dating for a hot man and had all the plans, like supposed me because she hooked up with a dude from work. I was crushed.

We were dating for a hot min and had all the plans like supposed to go to Iceland and had a wedding to go to. That's a bummer. And now I'm just going to be alone and I'm just so empty on Stoke. How do I fill my Stoke meter back up? I got my boys and all, but like the vibes aren't there right now, you know? Any ideas or advice would be clutch. Love the podcast and what you guys do.

Always great seeing the positive stuff you guys put out. Big fan here from the Midwest. Best regards. Wait, so what happened? His lady left him right before he was, they were supposed to go on a trip to Iceland and go to a wedding and now he's going solo. So how does he stay upbeat during these great experiences

when he's feeling in the dumps? I thought he said she went to Iceland. Right. That'd be a move. Yeah. Keep yourself busy with the things you like doing and then lean into the pain. Right. That'd be a move. Yeah. Keep yourself busy with the things you like doing. And then lean into the pain. Yeah.

Lean into it. Yeah. In moments of heartbreak, I've been like, especially because we're in entertainment, you know, I'm like, oh, this is, I'm going to learn from this. I'm going to grow from this. You know, this is like, this pain is going to be useful later on. Right. I'm sort of like, I'm grateful that I'm feeling this pain

so I can be wiser. Yeah, that's the mentality. What's that quote where it's like you experience heartbreak so your capacity for love grows? Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah, you learn a lot about yourself. Listen, we have a tendency to try to run away from pain.

And I realized when my parents died this past year, I was like, that's not going to work. You can't run away from your. And I realized when my parents died this past year, I was like, that's not going to work. You can't run away from your pain. You've got to lean into it. You've got to live with it. And then little by little it starts to kind of go away. And you put it somewhere else. And other things start to fill your life.

But you've got to deal with pain. Or it deals with you. Yeah, nice. I like that. I'm sorry. I'm just full of buzz phrases. Let's make t-shirts. He's got quotes at the house. Yeah, nice. I like that. I'm sorry. I'm just full of, like, buzz phrases. Let's make t-shirts. He's got quotes at the ass. I know. I love his quotes at the ass.

That's great. I know. Sometimes I'm like, what am I? Do I even mean it? Is it just, like, punching a vending machine? Sounds like you mean it. Well, sometimes we'll, like, hear a quote or I'll read it. And then a few days later, I'll see him, like, fire it off.

I'm like, oh, you had that locked in. Yeah, I'm like, I'm just waiting. It's like a good secret. I just can't wait to let it in. You're like, oh, well, in this moment, the row said. All right, that's the questions. What I would tell that dude is it's all right if you bum out. Just go do that stuff.

And it's all right if you're bummed out for periods of it. You're not going to bat 1,000 when it comes to being happy. So just if you're feeling down, go for a walk. Take a moment for yourself. Look at the fucking sky and think about this big, crazy blue marble that we're on that doesn't ever make sense. And then once you have those thoughts, get back on the dance floor and rip it up. Yeah. What are you looking at, Frank?

I don't know. That guy right there. Yeah. He's dearly departed. Really? Yeah, we lost him. Yeah. What happened to him? He took his own

life. Really? Yeah, he's kind of a Oh, wait a minute. He's a legend in these parts. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, great guy. I didn't know him personally, but I mean, I was an offender as a performer. Yeah, Callum knew him. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, it's too bad. That's how I know him.

Yeah. Alright, Chad, who is your Beef of the Week uh my beef of the week well first off before i begin i want to give a shout out to noly boy he's just a loyal stoker and he just as we give him a shout out he's been uh following us since uh we started so just want to give him a shout out okay and then my beef, my beef is with the Juul. Do you know what the Juul is? The movie? No, the vape thing.

Is that a movie? Oh, I didn't know that one. The vape thing, no. Oh, the little line from it? The E-sick, E-sick, yeah. I've been hitting the Juul. Sorry, Mom. I have too.

You have? Yeah. Yeah, and it's hard to get away from in my view you know it's i'm addicted to it i hope my mom doesn't listen to this because she's gonna freak um but uh yeah but yeah i've been hitting it and uh yeah i just wanted to be honest on the pot about it it's so because you can do it inside and i was never into nicotine i was never into cigarettes i dipped once in high school i puked and i'm like oh i'm good but then this came around and i was never into nicotine. I was never into cigarettes. I dipped once in high school. I puked and I'm like, oh, I'm good. But then this came around

and I was like, it's too easy. And now I'm like craving it all the time. It's kind of like a ritual for me now. But it's weed. No, it's nicotine. Oh, no, no. The one I have is cannabis. I've never smoked a cigarette.

It's good. In my life. Yeah, I never really could. I tried. But I smoked weed. I see you reward yourself with it after we do something like uh yeah it's like a ritual but it's nicotine nicotine why do that now i know if you know he doesn't have any vices yeah let's at least smoke cannabis so it gets you fucking i never i never really vibed with weed not that i think

you should be doing it but i mean yeah let's remember nicotine is just that bad for you very on top of it what's up it's bad for you. Very on top of it. What's that? It's bad for you. I know. Tell him, Frank. That's why I brought it up because I knew you... Yeah, you don't need that. I know.

Get a better vice. Right. Go to hookers. I can't do that one. Just make sure you're nice to them. No, you should vape. Let him get the hookers. We'll swap.

Swap vices. That's where you have shit to talk about that's not the worst yeah that's not the worst idea dude so i tried webcam and uh i got humiliated i loved it yeah it used to be a conversation we had a lot and you're dueling the whole time yeah that's great um yeah no i'm glad i brought up so you're you know telling me the truth yeah no but i it's yeah it's become like a ritual for me. After we do something right for a while, hit the jewel. Yeah. But I'm trying to curb it and stop.

You should. Yeah. Health not good for you. Yeah. I'll get there. All right. Are you that guy with your buddies? You're like, hey, man, you shouldn't be doing that.

All the time. Yeah. Plus, I eat meticulously, so it freaks them out. So whenever they go out to dinner with me, I don't say a word to anyone. And guess what they get? Whatever I get. Right. Yeah.

I'm like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why are you getting what I get? Oh, shut up. You make fun of me all day. They make fun of me all the time since I'm a kid. When they go out, they eat what I eat. Well, you're Italian, so how do you feel about pasta?

I don't eat pasta. My mother just made pasta every night when I was a kid. Is that tough? I don't like pasta. You don't? It's gooey. Is it important to you to be a leader? Yeah.

Yeah. I follow myself. My dad always told me, he's like, you're a leader, you're a leader, you're a leader. And I got frustrated with him for a while. In my period in my early 20s, I was like, why the fuck did you put all that fucking pressure on me? That's good, though. It's good pressure. Yeah, it's good.

Listen, I admire other leaders. I admire people, but I marched to the beat of my own fucking... I never cared about what anybody thought and where I'm supposed to be. I just do what I want to do, and I like it that way. Who's your B for the week? My B for the week? What would be my beef of the week what would be my beef of the week oh i'm supposed to go to you go all right my beef of the week is with uh and it was spurred on by one of the questions is uh guys who ask who's going to be there when you invite them to

something i haven't had to deal with these guys too much and my friends who did have this habit have kind of grown out of it but it always makes you feel like you're not good enough for like the people at your party aren't cool enough you always get a little like bit of an insecurity like well it's me and ferraro and klimkowski and they're like oh okay yeah maybe i'll swing by and they're like oh okay so i just gave you the roster of the dudes and we didn't quite make the cut yeah right that's la that's very la and i dealt with this yeah and i it's just like you know what you're either in or you're out okay so don't don't be in if the fucking right you know waiting to see if something better comes yeah if if you know if we got cool enough shit or cool enough people for you just you know you're either in or you're out because guess what you're killing

morale because then you come over and i'm like you know i'm worried about this guy i'm like does he does he think what we got is good enough yeah that's a good beef yeah don't ask who's going to be there okay who's your beef of the week is it who or can it be an it? It can be a thing. Here's my beef of the week. Coincidentally, it has to do with fake beef. It's Beyond Burgers. Oh, dude. They're amazing, right? Yeah.

I have not stopped shitting since I've been eating these Beyond Burgers. I appreciate your vulnerability. I mean, it's like pissing out of my ass. That's what's happening. I picture it still smells good. No, it doesn't. When it's you, Frank. It's a mess.

And I got to tell you, I don't know how to clean it up. My problem, my beef is this. I don't think they're being forthright about what's actually in it. The levels of canola oil and stuff. Yeah. Because they're great. They're really good. Not working out for me with the...

I think those vegetable oils aren't good for you. I think it's olive oil, and that's it. That's it, man. That's it. And they don't, you know... They don't tell you. We're in Hollywood, so I'm going to tread carefully here, but I don't think...

They're like, oh, it's not beef, so it's great for you and i'm like nonsense but look at what they're putting in there right it's like a million right or i mean it's like i eat grass-fed beef it's yeah it's good yeah do you guys mind if i rip my t-shirt off i do go ahead i'm getting embarrassed with the burgundy i'm ripping it off oh yeah you're not afraid of that body. Jesus. Oh, my God. It doesn't look great on camera. No, it looks good on camera. It looks good on camera. Have I been out of frame this whole time?

No, you're in there. You look much tanner on the screen. Do I? Yeah. Listen, by the way, jump in the gym once in a while. I'm in there, dude. Oh, dude. My shoulder was hurt, so I wasn't able to do the weights.

I'm totally. No, you're not. You're not. I'm totally fucked down. And I respect that. I don't want to make you feel a little uneasy on your surfboard. I got to sit in it. I know.

Yeah, I got to sit in it. You got a great body. Thanks. You're sexy as fuck. Well, coming from you, that means a lot. You do. You got a good build. Thank you.

You got a good frame. Thank you, dude. Thank you. That's what I wanted to hear. I think that's why I took it off. You got a good frame. And I was scared. I was like, do I have the confidence to take it off in front of a girl?

Look, you've got a narrow frame, and you've got just the right amount of hair on your body. Thank you. Yeah, you do have good coverage. Thank you, dudes. I hope a lot of people who are just listening on audio flip it to video at this point. I'm impressed. It looks like you have natural manscaping. Thank you, dude.

But we have to keep moving, but I could do this all day. Chad, who is your babe of the week? My babe of the week is Kat M. This girl in middle school who would give me hugs all the time. She was a little bit older than me, but she made me feel like I could get attention from the ladies. When I was a young kid, she was in my brother's grade, so we weren't going to date but she just gave me she'd be like oh you're so cute and give me these hugs and i was just like it was like this warm fuzzy feeling where i'm like i think i'm gonna be okay i'm gonna be okay yeah girls like me yeah yeah i loved it that's nice so thank you cat for making me feel that way

um that was epic that is epic do we take your shirt off because i feel like oh yeah i'm fired up this is getting fucking weird man wow oh look at you man you got you guys have similar bodies oh thank you yeah well we're good buddies yeah yeah i think yeah i think we mirror each other a little the more you hang out you kind of yeah absolutely don't want me to take my shirt off no you're beast bro i don't want that. You just hit a little flex. I saw you just hit a little flex on the bye, though. I'm joking. I saw that little flex.

And it wasn't little. It sent a message. Motivation, Frank. Yeah, you motivate me. Yeah. This moment's going to be... You guys are bananas. Thank you.

My Babe of the Week is Human Dignity Stadium. Just a super well-named stadium. Dude. Formerly StubHub and something before that. It's where the LA Galaxy play. And it's where the LA Chargers are playing this season. And they played there last year. And dude, look, it's not for diehard fans of a team.

Like there's more visiting fans there every week, which is kind of hilarious. You see the Chargers player trying to get the crowd jacked up. I'm like, you're looking at all Bronco fans, dude. But it's a great place to go see a game. It only seats about 18,000, so it's easy to get in and out of. No traffic on your way out. Because there's only 18,000, so it's easy to get in and out of. No traffic on your way out. Because there's only 18,000 people there, the bathroom lines aren't long, the food lines aren't long,

and it's intimate. You're closer to the field for a cheaper ticket than you can get anywhere else. So I really enjoyed going there. And I think I'm looking forward to checking out a few more games there before they move to Englewood. So if you guys want a unique experience, you're in the L.A. area, before they moved to Englewood.

So if you guys want a unique experience, you're in the L.A. area, and you're not like need like a Philadelphia Eagles kind of intensity around the stadium, then go check it out. No disrespect to the Eagles fans. I love it. No, fuck the Eagles. I'm a Giants fan. I hate the Eagles. Yeah, sorry about it.

Yeah, I'm sorry about it too. But Danny Dimes looks like he's got potential. He does, man. Yeah. If the offensive line doesn't. Yeah. You got him and Saquon, though. You got a good foundation. By the way, he's my Babe of the Week. Who't you know yeah yeah you got him in saquon though you got a good foundation by the way he's my baby of the week who's your baby of the week

danny dimes oh baby nice yeah he's my baby of the week i mean i feel like that that kid is uh he's he's pumped a new life into new york city let's do it chad who's your legend of the week my legend is uh will be who he had a gnarly ski fall back in seventh grade. I mean, this dude went off the jump, weight was back on his heels, and he just fucking flew. And I'm talking skis up, like fucking just straight up, like legs first. Crash landed. I think he broke both his femurs. So he was like his biggest bones how old was he

or how big was he seventh grade seventh grade i mean yeah he's probably like five feet i think you know and we're like oh fuck dude will like he's gonna have screws yeah he had screws in his legs and uh but he just was a trooper throughout the whole thing with the freaking body cast, just powering through in middle school. And he's like, I'm going to take this injury. I'm going to be better from it. And I'm still going to fucking ski. Jesus Christ.

My legend of the week is my buddy Greg, my roommate. He just moved out with his girlfriend. He's moving to Los Feliz. Oh, he officially did? Yeah, he's always been a Los Feliz guy. I'm happy he's over there. He's a great guy, one of the best. And he didn't even tell me this story.

My girlfriend told me this anecdote. But he was at work, and everybody was decorating their desks for Halloween, and they were doing big, garish setups. And they go, Greg, you're not decorating your desk. So he just took out a piece of paper, wrote spooky on it, and taped it to his desk. I love it. And he brings that same wit to our fantasy football thread on WhatsApp,

and he has just been crushing it. Him and Robbie Cumming. It's a battle every day to see who's got the funnier stuff, and I'm just happy to scroll through and get all those little jolts of fun. I've got to check it all out. Frank, who is your legend of the week? My legend of the week? Oh, man.

I don't know. I don't think I have one, man. I don't know. I don't think I have one, man. Carnahan? No. No. Certainly no. Liam Neeson? You know who's my legend of the week?

It's my assistant, Alex. Oh, nice. Nice. Because he... That's a good legend. He is on point. I mean, day in and day out. He never misses a beat.

He covers my ass all day long. My calendar is perfectly fucking scheduled. This kid, I love him. Alex. Alex Rush, legend of the week. I love that. The assistants are the ones running this town. That's right.

And they're working their balls off. And they know everything. Yeah. They know everything. You get there on the line. Yeah, yeah. And they got access to the email accounts yeah so you know when you're getting charged by the webcam model

they're seeing that pop up credit cards he has everything yeah i'm dating an assistant cia assistant you are yeah it's tough or her work schedule is tough yeah those are my agents her podcast episode is one of our most popular yeah no yeah she's beating tony hawk right now really is she beating tony yeah she said the the youtube yeah that's hilarious she's up by a couple thousand she's really pretty yeah chad who is your what is your quote of the week guys we got to cook all right my quote of the week is from jack sparrow do you think this wise boy crossing blades with a pirate nice that's it dude my quote is because like i've just been like and it's a cliche one and and like you can drag me through the mud for

saying it because it's just like we get it but it's gandhi be the change you want in other people dude it's the only thing you can do yeah i get pissed off at people all day and i've just been getting and i'm trying to get to the final thought of well what can i can I actually take care of? I can be better. And hopefully if they see me being better, they'll, it'll inspire them a little bit, but that's all you can do. Cause you make yourself fucking crazy. Just trying to control everything. So just, yeah. Frank. Don't fear the man who throws 10,000 punches once. Fear the man who throws one punch 10,000 times. Yep. Love that. Great quote. And then we do a line for getting after it.

So what's your line of the week for getting after it? Meaning like instead of saying let's party, this is like some kind of euphemism that you would say instead. Yeah. I didn't think of one. Let me see. I can go. Do you want to go?

Yeah. It's actually just my review for The Joker because I forgot to talk about it earlier. I think just because a movie is weird and intense doesn't necessarily mean it's deep and i think people are applying more significance to some of the scenes just because it's kind of weird and because of the commitment level of joaquin phoenix and uh you know i thought it was a powerful movie in moments but i didn't think it built on its themes in a cohesive way i agree agree. Thank you. I agree. It was a little self-serving.

What'd you say? It was a little self-serving. Yeah. I felt so too. Nice. My phrase for getting after is, let's scuff these vans. Like it.

I say, let's crush the grapes. Oh, dude. A wine fan, yeah. Man, let's do it. Well, I think you crushed the fuck out of the grapes on this podcast. Yeah, you guys are the best, man. You guys are fuck out of the grapes On this podcast Yeah you guys You're the best man No you're the best

You guys are the two Of the best naked guys I've ever met Oh dude What come on Thank you Frank Thanks guys Thanks for coming on

Thank you so much For coming on Yeah these guys are awesome You guys are my new Favorite people Aw thanks man You too Thank you

Thank you Stokers Boom clap. I could get you down Fully loaded, fully loaded With my face up in the clouds I could find a town Trade this city for a place Where I can keep the pressure down Got to save some face We'll be right back. Thank you. Take a look inside and let them describe.

I'm a doctor. It's a weakness that you're seeking. You will find. Oh, oh, oh, let you refine. Oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Thank you. We'll be right back. I love it. I'm going to go. We'll be right back. I'm a man against the world I'm a man against the world