Going Deep with Chad and JT - Patreon Clip: Living Forever

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

For full bonus episodes, check out our patreon at www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

What's up dudes? Here's a clip from our new Patreon only episode. If you're interested in more content, go to patreon.com and subscribe to Going Deep with Chad and JT for more weekly content. About the whole live forever thing, like people are like, what if we could live forever? I'm like, are we sure we want that? Yeah, I don't think so. The Highlander was pretty depressed.

The next thing could be better. Yeah. And then you spend all your time you're like you live like a thousand years and you like get to the end of it and you and you die and you're like like oh fuck man i could have gotten here like like like 950 years yeah especially if you're like in an old folks home for like three decades and then you're like why did i do that yeah yeah You got to be in peak physical condition the entire time for that to even make sense. And then you still lose everyone around you.

Yeah. And that's a fucking bummer. Yeah, and then meaning must just get stripped away from things. I mean, we were talking earlier. If you go through so many relationships, it all starts to feel meaningless. Imagine if you saw that much death, that many relationships end, that many people. And you just met everybody. met like every kind of person you're like like even now like the excitement of meeting like a new personality when you're a teenager you're like i never met anyone like

this motherfucker yeah that doesn't happen as much as you get older you're like i know a guy like that you're kind of like this guy yeah so i mean if you're like 500 and you have to deal with like your 400th like schmole. Dude. You know? Well, I can guarantee you'll have the wisdom to know how to bokeh schmole. You know? I'd take the advice from a 500-year-old guy and like if he wrote a book, how to bokeh schmole. Bokeh him.

Bokeh him. Bokeh you must. You must bokeh. That's how people who are 500 years old talk. You must boke. He will never change. He'll always not clean up after a party. It will never change.

Boke him. So, Jonathan, you're 500 years old. What's the most important thing you've learned in life? That buddy you have who hits on everyone's girlfriend, Bo Kim. Wow. It's not cool. So you're saying that in 500 years of living on this earth, you've been through the Renaissance. You've been through the Revolutionary War. You've been through the renaissance you've been through the revolutionary war you've been through the civil war you've been through all those wars you've been through the industrial revolution

you've been through the civil rights movement the most important thing you've learned is that you need to poke the schmall absolutely and in those times I've hung with the greatest of luminaries, the largest influences and minds of those eras, Robert E. Lee, Henry Ford, Martin Luther King Jr. They all wrote letters or called my girlfriend. So they were schmoles? Schmoles. So I boked them all.

Later. How'd you boke Henry Ford? I drove a competitor's car. A Chevy? A Chevy Silverado. I drove it into him. You ran Henry Ford over? I did.

And we're told that you ran him over and then you teabagged him? I did. As I have to many other great luminaries. So what do you say to Kevin? King Richard. You bagged King... The Lionheart. I bagged him.

Who else? I still think about it that might have even been i might be older than 500 years old and you bagged winky i i've heard a tale that you bagged herman melville i did wow the writer of moby dick you check out this mooby Dick. Yeah. I said, hey. I was on top of him and I said, I'm having a whale of a time. And you had Oscar Wilde tabletop him? Mm-hmm. And then you gave him the Moby Dick bag? I used to punk Melville a lot. I'm not proud of it.

And there are many days in my centuries-old life when I reflect on the bullying I perpetuated on that kind soul. Flicking ears, noogies, wet willies. Historically the most disrespectful of bullying and tea bags i teabagged him almost every day every page of that book he said was erasing one day of teabagging that i perpetuated on his face wow or perpetrated he's more of the word guy so essentially captain ahab is your sack i never read his fucking book the guy would never shut the fuck up i don't need to read your fucking piece of shit book yeah he's a schmole he was a schmole and you also in your book that it says that you teabagged Napoleon Bonaparte? That one was easy.

Because he's short. Yeah, you didn't even have to push him down. You just bagged him as he stood. He thought he was like walking under like an arch. And then I just said, I was acting all still. You know, I'm pretty good at the physical stuff. It's kind of like my bread and butter comedically. At least for a couple centuries.

And he walked under and I just said, oops.