Going West: True Crime - Carla Yellowbird // 221

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

In August of 2016, a 27-year-old woman went missing in the Spirit Lake Reservation of North Dakota after taking a drive with 3 men. After loved ones didn’t hear back from her in days, her aunt, who is a Missing and Murdered Indigenous Woman activist and organization owner, took the investigation into her own hands and traced down her killers. This is the story of Carla Yellowbird. https://www.sahnishscouts.org BONUS EPISODES patreon.com/goingwestpodcast CASE SOURCES https://www.kfyrtv.com/content/news/Two-Spirit-Lake-men-sentenced-for-their-roles-in-the-murder-of-Karla-Yellowbird-506358251.html https://www.websleuths.com/forums/threads/nd-carla-j-yellowbird-27-mandan-23-august-2016.316177/ https://www.kxnet.com/remarkable-women/remarkable-woman-lissa-yellow-bird-chase-a-woman-devoting-her-life-to-searching-for-missing-murdered-people/ https://www.hcn.org/articles/tribal-affairs-the-woman-who-searches-for-indian-countrys-missing https://www.newspapers.com/image/504527498/?terms=carla%20yellowbird&match=1 https://www.justice.gov/usao-nd/pr/two-spirit-lake-men-sentenced-federal-prison-their-roles-murder-carla-yellowbird https://www.sahnishscouts.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What is going on to crime fans? I'm your host Teeve. And I'm your host Daphne. And you're listening to Going West. Thank you so much everybody for tuning in today. Today we actually have not only a very tragic story but an inspiring one where the victims and who is an important figure in the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Woman movement had to help in her own niece's case and she is a

massive reason why this case is solved. Yeah, I cannot believe just everything that she went through and everything that she has done for the community and also for her own family, just an incredible person all around. Completely raised. So thank you so much everybody for tuning in today. And yeah, that's pretty much all we have for ya. That's it. All right, guys, the show's over.

Just kidding. All right, guys, this is episode 221 of Going West, so let's get into it. In August of 2016, a 27-year-old woman went missing in North Dakota after taking a drive with three men. When loved ones didn't hear back from her for days, her aunt, who is a missing and murdered indigenous woman activist and organization owner, took the investigation into her own hands and traced down her killers. This is the story of Carla Yellowbird. Carla Yellowbird was born on March 14, 1989 to parents Loretta's sitting dog and Charles Yellowbird in Aberdeen, South Dakota. But she spent the first year of her life in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Carla was the eldest of four daughters, meaning she had three sisters, and they were all raised in Aberdeen, and then Macintosh, which are nearly three hours away from each other. And she's just wanna say, Heath and I tried really hard to find the pronunciation for that word,

and we could only find Macintosh, so if it's like Macintosh, I'm so sorry. We really did our best. It's a town of about 150 people. So there wasn't a whole lot of information out there on YouTube or anything else. It's a tough one. I think we're going to go with McIntosh. So since Carla went to school in McIntosh and it was where she spent most of her life,

we'll explain it a little bit. So McIntosh is a city in Corson County and it sits right on the North Dakota and South Dakota border. It presently hosts just about 150 people, like he just said, and it's within the Standing Rock Indian Reservation, which is the sixth largest Native American reservation in the United States. Carla did go to school in Macintosh, but as a teenager, she experienced a very traumatic event when her boyfriend at the time sex trafficked her. And understandably, this definitely messed things up for her a bit and she did fall into drugs.

Despite this, she remained close with her family and she always had her loved ones rooting for her to get on the other side of her addiction. And because Carla wanted to finish school, she soon received her GED from Sitting Bull College, which is a public tribal land grant college located in Fort Yates, North Dakota, right by the Missouri River, and just under an hour's drive from her hometown in Macintosh. Carla had her first four children with a man named Yamni American Horse, at least I think that's how you pronounce it, but we're not going to talk about him a whole lot, and she absolutely loved being a mom, and she was described as extremely devoted. She really was just an all-around family person and loved spending time

with her sisters and her mom too. She had so many cousins and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews so Carla had this massive family. And then once she and Yamney split up, she met a man named Jeremy Albert's and they went on to have three wonderful sons. When Carla wasn't busy taking care of her kids, she loved playing horseshoes, softball, and basketball, and she even used to box. She was a huge travel bug and always loved to see new places when she could, and she was a huge fan of music. Those close to her described her as hilarious, very outspoken, and just someone who really

enjoyed life. In 2016, 27-year-old Carla Yellowbird was enjoying life with her kids and had reportedly built herself a stable life for herself and her family in Mandan, North Dakota. Now Mandan is a much larger city than the one she grew up in in Macintosh, and it hosts about 22,000 people and is situated next to the even larger city of Bismarck, North Dakota, which is the capital of the state. And Mandan is just over an hour from Macintosh for reference, and it's located on the Fort Berthold Reservation. In the neighboring city of Bismarck, Carla worked as a retail sales associate at Gordman's,

which is a department store, though she was reportedly also trying to make some more money on the side by selling drugs. And honestly things must have been incredibly difficult for her to deal with this addiction and try to be the best mom she could to seven kids. And according to her mom, she did go to rehab for a bit where she was able to make some friends and heal herself, but when she got out, she did go to rehab for a bit where she was able to make some friends and heal herself, but when she got out, she did return back to that lifestyle. And it's also very sad because not to get ahead of myself, but when Carla first went missing

and they were trying to find her, her family wasn't very vocal in the media because of the stigma about drug use among indigenous people. But just because Carla struggled with this addiction doesn't mean that she wasn't an absolutely wonderful person because everyone said she was, you know, who deserved to watch her children grow up and live her life in peace, but her family didn't want her to be stereotyped,

though as we'll get into, her aunt really pushed for justice, and that's exactly what she got. Yeah, and to be honest with you, we will not be demeaning anybody due to addictions because there's a lot of addictions in the world. I've had family members and friends who have dealt with addiction, so we're not going to be bashing anybody on this podcast for addiction. Agreed. Just wanted to throw that out there. So on August 23rd, 2016, 27-year-old Carla Yelloberg told her family that she would be back soon.

Now, she was carrying a duffle bag in a laundry basket, and then she just left. But days went by, and no one in Carla's family had heard from her. And it didn't seem like any of them knew where she was going either. She just said, I'll be back. And then she left. Yeah. So her mom in particular was very close with her and felt extremely uneasy about the fact

that Carla had stopped responding to texts and phone calls. And Carla's sister, Carrie, just felt like something was not right. So within days of Carla last being seen. in August of 2016, they reported her missing to the Mandan Police Department. Now Carla was living with the roommate at this time, and this person felt like Carla may have gone to Spirit Lake the day that she left. Spirit Lake is a reservation in East Central North Dakota, and it's nearly three hours away from where Carla lived in Mandan. So if she did go there, or disappear from there, finding her would prove to be very tough.

The reservation stops on the southern shores of Devil's Lake, and her roommate felt like she had specifically likely gone to the area of St. Michael, which is a very small, unincorporated gone to the area of St. Michael, which is a very small, unincorporated community on the Spirit Lake Reservation. Despite the fact that Carla's family had reported her missing to the local police, another separate kind of, kind of separate investigation started when her aunt Lissa quickly became involved. And that's the aunt that we were talking about during the intro of the podcast. Yes. And she's a really big part of the story. This quickly became involved. Lissa Yelloberd Chase is the founder of Sanish Scouts established in 2013, which is an

organization that helps in the search for missing and murdered indigenous women. But they also just look for missing people in general. Here is a part of their mission statement on their website, quote, more than a hundred families have sought our support in cases where their loved ones are unaccounted for. We offer a safe space, free of shame and blame for relatives of the missing to share information. We not only publicize missing persons, we search for them. We assist law enforcement or fill in where they are absent.

We believe that everyone deserves to be looked for. What a beautiful statement. That is an amazing statement. Lizza herself identifies as primarily a rickera, which is a North Dakota Native American tribe, so she knows all too well how invisible indigenous people feel and not just in general, but in situations like this primarily when someone goes missing or is murdered. So she has made it her personal mission to help raise awareness in any way she can and

getting on the ground herself and helping finding missing people. Lissa grew up in North Dakota, Wisconsin, and California before returning to North Dakota and studying criminal justice at North Dakota State University. How many times did she say North Dakota? A whole lot. And this is where she earned her degree in that subject. So cool, by the way.

So she wanted to become a private investigator, but she had been arrested in 2006 for a drug charge. So this unfortunately stunted her from being able to pursue that as a career. Though her life's passion falls in the true crime field. I gotta say like how cool is that? That although she was unable to pursue this as a career, she is still out there doing it because she's that passionate about helping people. Yeah, she wasn't gonna let like a job description

stop her from doing what she thought was right. So she works full-time as a welder and just runs sandwich scouts in her free time. Before taking on her niece's case, she helped in two other major cases, K.C. Clark and Olivia Lonebear. Christopher Clark, who went by K.C. was a 29-year-old white man from the state of Washington, who moved to the Fort Berthold Reservation in North Dakota, again where Carla lived, for work, where he worked for a trucking company that delivered water to various oil fracking sites. But in February of 2010, KC went missing.

A few weeks later, Lisa heard about his case, and she decided to investigate it on her own, completely determined to get him and his family justice. After four years of speaking with potential suspects and traveling around North Dakota for clues, a confession was finally made. In May of 2016, so just months before Carla disappeared, Casey's friend and employer, a man named James Henrickson, confessed to hiring a hitman to murder not only Christopher Clark, but a business rival, all because he didn't want to lose business to either of them. Because Christopher had come to him explaining that he planned to start his own trucking company.

So basically this was just like, oh you're going to start your own business, fuck you, I'm going to kill you. Like what? It's such an extreme measure to go to. I mean, seriously? Yeah, it's insane. So although Lissa didn't crack this one herself, she did put so much work into Christopher's case and helped a great deal.

But to this day, Christopher's body has never been found. The other case that Lissa independently worked on was Olivia Lone Bears. Now, Olivia disappeared after Carla did in October of 2017, so almost a year after, but on the same reservation as Christopher Clark and Carla Yellowbird, the birthold reservation. Olivia was 32 years old and living in Newtown, North Dakota when she was last seen in a borrowed teal Chevy pickup truck. The North Dakota winters made it incredibly difficult to search for her, especially since they wanted to search Lake Chicago, which had frozen over. But when the spring of 2018 came, so months later, Lissa Yellibird chased Joined Olivia's family and the police in searching for her. And they did try to get police to dredge Lake Chicagoia, but their efforts didn't work. I don't know why, but Lisa was very

determined to just search this lake ASAP. So she took it into her own hands and she traveled there with a boat that had a half broken motor mind you to search for herself. On the boat, she had this fishing sonar to help her search what she couldn't see herself, and just about 400 feet from shore under 21 feet of water. Lisa found something. On the sonar, Lisa saw a large rectangle under the water and discovered that it was a vehicle. So she took these images and information to the police who gathered the North Dakota Game and Fish Department and the Bureau of Indian Affairs, also known as the BIA, to pull the vehicle out of the lake. They towed the truck out of the lake and uncovered that it was the very same that Olivia

Lonebear had last been seen in. The strange thing is that Olivia was found still strapped into the passenger seat, but the driver's seat was empty. Her cause of death was ruled undetermined, but medical personnel ruled out traumatic, natural, and toxicological causes of death, and the FBI are still investigating how she got into that lake and how she died. So if it weren't for Lissa going out that day, who knows when this discovery would have been made?

And if anybody out there has any information about Olivia Lonebear's death, please call 1-800-CALL-FBI to submit a tip. How crazy is it that, you know, and I see this with other organizations as well that go out there and they find bodies and lakes and all sorts of places, and they're just independent organizations. Yeah, it's awesome.

Yeah, it's really cool that she's just out there doing this. Well, that's why she is such a star in this and just in general because she just cares so much. Like, she could have easily waited for the police just like Olivia's family was gonna have to do for the police to, you know, start searching that lake, but she was like, no, I'm gonna use a boat with a half broken motor and go out there myself because I want this family to know if she's in that lake.

And these are just two cases among multiple others that Lissa has helped on. But now that we know what else Lissa has worked on and how passionate she is about what she does, let's get back to Carla's story. So like Daphne mentioned, Carla's family felt unsure of what to do with her case in the beginning, fearing Stigma's but knowing that they needed to figure out if something had happened to Carla. So this is when Lissa stepped in, actually going against the rest of the family's wishes a bit, and she put all of her energy and focus into finding her beloved niece, her brother's daughter,

someone that she had always promised to protect and watch after. Once Lissa started posting about Carla's disappearance on Facebook, various people close to Carla started writing into her with potential tips, including one person who mentioned that Carla was with a man named Sunigai the day she went missing.

Throughout this time, Lissa took off work so that she could really focus on Carla's case because time was of the essence, and this would be the most personally important case to date. And just what a wild and tragic situation that Carla happens to have this absolutely badass ant whose sole purpose is to get justice for people. And then Lissa has to do that very thing for her own family member. Like I can imagine that was very surreal for her.

Yeah, I mean, thinking about being, and you know, people who are in the true crime genre, that's exactly, you know, how they feel like, they have to not only do they talk about other stories and get other cases out there, but there are people like yourself who have family members who are involved in tragic true crime cases.

Yeah, I can't, I mean, it honestly does make you want to do this, which is really why we started this podcast as well, because of my aunt Carol. So receiving a tip about Sunagai and then getting information from Carla's roommate that she may be at Spirit Lake, Lisa at least had somewhere to begin her search. In the meantime, police were receiving tips as well.

And in September of 2016, within weeks of Carla's disappearance, the police received a tip that someone had seen Carla on the day she went missing, and this was in a silver car with 38-year-old Sunigai and two other young men. 24-year-old Dakota Sharbinow and 21-year-old Dalyne St. Pierre. All three of these men had criminal records, so this stood out to police. But this tip also mixed in with the one from Carla's roommate who said that she could have gone to Spirit Lake. Because, Suna, Dakota, and Dalyne all lived on the Spirit Lake reservation three hours away. But because this was on a different reservation so far away, it was a massive

hurdle for local Mandan police on the birthold Indian reservation because legally they couldn't question any of these men for jurisdiction reasons. And there are a lot of limitations with this because the only way Mandan police could question these men is if either the FBI approved it or the Bureau of Indian Affairs did, aka the BIA. And Mandan investigators were having a lot of trouble receiving such approval because they were trying. But Liz, on the other hand, not being a police officer or even a private investigator, was somewhat at an advantage because she was just a regular woman in the community. So she could talk to whoever she wanted.

The tough part would just be if they would talk to her back. But as you'll see, she was extremely tough with these guys and she was not going to take any bullshit. Oh, it's amazing. And Lisa, by the way, she wasn't just like going rogue and doing whatever she wanted here. She's very respectful and obviously didn't want to negatively interfere with the police's own investigation.

But she made it known to police that she was doing her own digging and felt like they should work together in any way that they could. And this was well received with investigators who shared everything they could with her knowing that she could discover who the car belonged to. And this could give her information on which person she needed to carefully approach first.

Because she had to be very careful. Because she didn't want to scare anybody off and she wanted to level with them and like gain their trust and make them understand why she's doing what she's doing. So Lissa was able to uncover that the car in question belonged to Sunigai's dad and she told this to police. Lissa then reached out to Sunigai himself to see if she could get some information out of him, but he was being less than cooperative.

So she went back on Facebook and pretty much put Soona, Dakota, and Daelin on blast, stating that they were the last people to be seen with Carla and that they could be involved in her disappearance. So after doing this, it seemed to shake Soon a guy because he then called Lissa himself, but not before hiding his own phone number and seemed agitated that she had put his name out there. He proclaimed his innocence, of course, explaining that he didn't know where Carla was and that he didn't have anything to do with anything, that he was an honest man with good intentions.

He then mentioned that the last time he saw Carla was that day in August, but all he did was drop her off where she had asked to go, which was spirit lake. And Suna was coming off as this like genuine guy who just wanted to help, but Liz felt like he was hiding something, so she proceeded with caution and sought for more tips. With all the calls that would occur in Lisa's investigation, by the way, she recorded them. And if you're interested in hearing them, or if you're interested in hearing them, Dalyne actually covered this case, and they interviewed Lisa and they played a lot of the

recording. So they were very interesting to hear because Soona really does, you know, try to come off like he's innocent and that he's, as he puts it, not a bad guy. But she was really seeing right through him and just wanted answers and she knew he had to have them. All she could do was try to push him for answers but she could only get so much from him. she could do was try to push him for answers, but she could only get so much from him. So while she was talking to Suna since police couldn't, investigators received help from the Bureau of Indian Affairs to search for Carla, which they did on the ground as well as in the air around both Mandan and Spirit Lake.

And it's interesting that Suna called, listen numerous times like help her, but I feel like if he wasn't involved He wouldn't be doing this. Yeah, he would be less than interested. He would be like I don't know what you're talking about Bye. Yeah moving on now. Yeah, it feels like it was a combination between Feeling guilt and wanting to come clean and then wanting to gauge the situation and see what Lissa knew. Yeah, definitely. So they spoke throughout a short period of time in September, so all these intense investigation moments are happening within mere weeks of Carla going missing. But Lissa had a deep feeling from early on that someone had killed her niece and that she was just looking for the person who did it so that she could bring Carla home to her family.

And by the way, she was keeping all of the family updated throughout all of her investigations. But one day in September, everything changed. All of Lisa's tactics trying to gain Suna's trust and her stern and outspoken attitude towards getting Carla justice finally seemed to get to Suna's trust and her stern and outspoken attitude towards getting Carla justice finally seemed to get to Suna because he called her and he finally came clean. He explained that he didn't want to lie to her and that he just wanted to help, so he felt like she deserved to know the truth about what he had witnessed happen to 27 year old Carla Yello bird.

So right there on the phone, Suna guy explained that he had taken Carla up to spear at Lake with his friends, Dakota Sharbinau, and Dalyne St. Pierre for a drug run. But Dakota and Dalyne had a different plan. They planned to rob Carla of everything she had, all her money, as well as the drugs that they were supposedly going there to sell. But Suna wasn't innocent in all this. He had been a part of that plan, too. The tough thing here regarding Suna's confession is we don't know how much is true yet, because of course he isn't taking responsibility, you know, why would he? So he continued to explain to Lissa that the robbery didn't go as planned. During the drive over, Carlos slept in the truck, remember this was a three hour drive,

and once they arrived to a remote location in Spirit Lake, one thing led to another, and and dailin accidentally shot carla highly highly doubt that well so here's what it's that that's what i mean is like soon i was telling list of this and she she can really only just take it with a grain assault because how can she know if she can trust soon so soon to describe that twenty one year old dailin had taken out his gun to threaten carla

and when he went to hit her with the gun, it discharged, striking her in the head and killing her. Soona said that Dalyne wanted him to help him move her body and hide it, but that he didn't want to and refused to help because again, he had only been there to rob Carla and not to hurt her. Yeah, and apparently, you know, know soon as also probably trying to minimize his part in the whole thing yeah that's what i mean and it's our now we we see that with a lot of different killers there always

trying to minimize the situation all this was an accident all she died by accident i i i don't believe that well and also when i said only rob her obviously that is horrible to the fact that he wanted to go there and take all of her money and her drugs that they were supposed to sell to make money, knowing that she has children and that she's a good person, like that's so messed up.

So I didn't mean to minimize the robbing portion of the plan. Oh, no, not at all. If anybody's minimizing it, it's Suna. It is, yes. So in the early morning hours of Wednesday, August 24, 2016, the day after Carla was last seen, the young men dragged her body into some nearby brush

and bushes and burned her belongings, including her clothes that she had brought with her. Afterwards, Suna, Daelin, and Dakota drove to Dakota's apartment and hatched a plan to cover up the evidence. They kept her money and the drugs, but cleaned the truck and kept quiet about what they did, until Lisa started peeking around and put their names on the internet. And that's why I always say, like, social media is such a powerful tool. It is. Especially nowadays, like, we use social media

a lot of times to solve different cases. Yeah, you can find so much on there. Yeah. So this news was absolutely devastating to Lisa, but it was bittersweet, knowing that she could now bring Carla's mother and family answers as to what happened. But she also had to call police to make sure that they could clarify this information and find Carla's body, because although Lissa had this confession recorded, who knows what

would happen next? Yeah, and that's what I meant too, with just working with the police. She's like, look what I got. And then they get to use this and use their power as the police and also the FBI to make the arrest and to find the body. Yeah, it seems like this whole thing

is really beneficial to have all sorts of people working on this. A grade. So police jumped on this immediately and continued their search of Spirit Lake. But the whole arrangement was that Suna wanted listed a meet-em-at-spirit lake, and he would show her where Carla was, so she made sure that police would be waiting with her. With that, on September 23, 2016, exactly one month to the day that Carla went missing, police, the FBI, and Lisa Yellowbird Chase headed to the Spirit Lake Reservation to meet

with 38-year-old Suna Guy. But he wasn't there. Now that the FBI was involved and they had this recorded confession from Lissa, FBI agents tracked him down at a family's home and they convinced him to take them to Carla's body and he did. The area Suna took them to is a remote field with various shrubbery and he identified the area where he, Dailin and Dakota had left her body weeks earlier. He apparently got emotional and explained to police and the FBI that none of them wanted

to kill her and that they didn't want this to happen, or at least he didn't want this to happen. She was still there, clothed, and she was quickly taken in so an autopsy could be conducted and it could be determined if Soona's story matched up with the evidence. The autopsy proved that Carla had died from a single bullet wound to her head and that the bullet had been fired at close range, so this did match with what Soona said Dailin did. Police also found conversations between soon a guy

and decoder charvano via facebook message that prove that they had previously devised the plan to rob carla like they did this on facebook yeah it was in a private message but like still you think that they're not going to look into that yeah like you should probably do this in person and good thing they didn't because this helped with evidence. Absolutely. It was also discovered that it was Dakota, who had allegedly ordered Dailin to burn the evidence, and the gun used was Dakota's as well. In November of 2018, just less than two years after the discovery of Carla's body,

Dailin St. Pierre, the man who fired the fatal shot, pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit robbery, use of a firearm during a felony crime, and felony murder. He received 27 and a half years in federal prison for his crimes, along with five years of supervised release when he gets out, which will be in the 2040s.

He also was ordered to pay $300 to the Crime Victims Fund, as well as $11,659 in Restitution to Carla's family. Now Dakota Sharbinow pled guilty to second-degree murder, aiding in a bedding and the use of a firearm and a felony crime of violence. He was actually given twice the sentencing that Dailin received, as he is ordered to spend 50 years in federal prison, possibly considering previous crimes as he had committed other recent violent assaults, and he used to pay $200 to the crime victims fund and pay that same $11,659 in restitution to Carlos family. Yeah, I think it was just known how dangerous Dakota was because he also shot his ex-girlfriend

in the face and beat two men with a gun in 2017, so the following year. And I also read that he wasn't arrested for carla's murder until the end of 2017 after police had to chase him through three counties. So I don't I don't know why they arrested him so late or what happened with that. Maybe they just needed to gather enough evidence. Yeah, but sadly he wasn't arrested before he shot his ex-girlfriend in the face. This just shows how violent this guy is. He just did other horrible things and he's going to be in prison, likely his entire life.

Soon a guy received a lenient sentence due to the fact that he had been the one to come forward with what he was a part of. He remained adamant that it was a mistake and that he didn't want to hurt or kill Carla and that's why he wasn't the one holding the gun nor the one to fire it. When asked why he confessed at all, Suna said quote, "'Lisa didn't force, she didn't demand, she didn't promise me nothing. It's just the way she conducted herself with me. She made me feel comfortable.

The family deserved the truth. Soon a guy was sentenced to 15 years in prison after he pled guilty to felony murder. He is currently incarcerated at FCI Greenville, a federal correctional facility in Illinois, where he will remain no longer than July of 2031. Liza spoke on his behalf, explaining that if it wasn't for Suna, and honestly, I think if it wasn't for Liza, they may have never been able to bring Carla home and find closure in what happened to her. Thank you so much everybody for listening to this episode of Going West.

Yes, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode and on Friday we'll have an all new case for you guys to dive into. Really appreciate you guys listening to this one. These stories are so important, and that's why Lisa's mission to help missing and murdered indigenous women and just people in general is so fantastic. So I really want to donate to Sanish Scouts,

but her website doesn't include a donation button. So I'm going to figure that out. If you guys would like to donate, I'm personally just gonna email them and ask how I can do that and how he and I can do that. So if you wanna do the same, I would probably just suggest emailing them. I think it's just S-A-H-N-I-S-H scouts at gmail.com. Yeah, so definitely if you wanna help them out,

head over there and just leave them a message. I'm sure they will really appreciate that. All right, guys, so for everybody out there in the world, don't be a stranger. You you