Good Guys - A HANUKKAH EXTRAVAGANZA with Robby Hoffman!

Episode Date: December 16, 2024

Happy Hanukkah, Morons! Today we're lighting the candles with none other than the the wildly talented writer, comedian, podcast host, and the most religious person Gabby Windey knows, Robby Hoffman! F...rom Robby's time working at McDonald's and scamming straight men at the club to Jewish guilt and other holiday traditions, this episode HAS IT ALL. Plus, we finally uncover the truth about fluoride and what it really means to cherry-pick in life- Hashem made cherries for a reason, after all! Come for the laughs, stay for the insight, and maybe leave questioning everything. What, are ya nuts?! Love ya! Leave us a voicemail here! Sponsors: Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/goodguys. Get your free LMNT Sample Pack with any purchase at drinklmnt.com/GOODGUYS Visit metrovac.com today and use code GOODGUYS at checkout to receive 10% off any machine purchase. Right now, Prolon is offering Good Guys listeners 15% off their 5-day nutrition program. Go to ProlonLife.com/goodguys Start earning points on rent you're already paying by going to joinbilt.com/GOODGUYS Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Sofer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Miles and morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with the third Kelsey brother.
Starting point is 00:00:18 It's Ben Soffer. Thank you very much. And I am sitting here with the one, the only comedic genius born in New York City. Actually, Brooklyn, New York, excuse me. I already fucked up. It is New York City. We love you. No, Brooklyn is not New York City.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Yes, it is one of the more. No, but like when I think of New York City, I think of Manhattan. It's five burrows. Oh, good. This is good. Five girls. Name them right now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:42 Queens, Staten Island, Bronx, New York. What did I miss? Manhattan is New York, by the way. Cool. Okay. Manhattan, what did I miss? And Brooklyn. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:51 But we really refer to that as New York City. Yes. I'm from the city. Yes. Okay. Yes. So people from Staten Island say I'm from the city. And that's kosher.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Well, not from the city, but New York City. When you're on your birth certificate or you're doing your passport, it's New York City. You don't write Brooklyn. Fine. But if somebody comes up to you from Staten Island, it says, I'm from New York City. You're fine with that. Well, nobody should come up to me for any reason, especially to tell me you're from Staten Island. I have nothing.
Starting point is 00:01:20 What do I do with that? What are you expecting from that interaction? You do nothing. You do nothing. What is a good reason to approach you? None. I'm not very, you know what? I don't give it.
Starting point is 00:01:31 You know how people post these crowd clips just. stuff like that. I got lucky because I don't seem very approachable. My audience is no better than to fucking talk to me. Okay, you will speak when spoken to. Yes. Okay, it's not going to go well and not in a funny way. I'm not going to be clipping this. It's going nowhere.
Starting point is 00:01:47 And you've just ruined your night. So if someone- I'm so jealous. Ours are the opposite. They are Yenta City. No, no. Looking at gab. We're too nice.
Starting point is 00:01:55 No, I'm not gabing. I don't look approachable. I don't look friendly. And I'm not. So if someone heckles you or speaks out of one of your comedy shows, you're getting them kicked out. No, they just don't do it. They know better.
Starting point is 00:02:07 They know better. You're coming to see me. You're coming to see me. Nobody is coming to see you. Yes. We are all here for me when we're here for me. Yes. Love this.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Will you talk a little? You know, I discovered you from our good friend Ian Fydance from his podcast. Oh, good. I get in trouble. I don't know every comedian in the city. It's obscene. That's just crazy. No, that clip was insane.
Starting point is 00:02:30 That clip was insane. That clip was insane. to think, and I don't know who this person is, I'm not trying to shit on her, but to think. I'm sorry. Jordan, Johnson, the great. To have, I'm sorry. Well, then I'm just going to say it. To have such a big head that you think that everybody in the world should know who you are,
Starting point is 00:02:44 settle down, okay? I know who else is. It's not like I know nobody. Okay, I know Eddie Murphy. There are people I do know. Yes. There are people I've heard of. Seinfeld.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Did you know me? Did you know me? I actually did know you? Excellent. Because I love your wife. And then I was discovered to you. you and I just love you guys together. And I'm big on relationships.
Starting point is 00:03:06 I love a good, a cutesy couple. That's my shit. Yes. Thank you. Well, I love you and I knew you. Thank you. Love you and knew you. And I'm not offended if you didn't.
Starting point is 00:03:17 But I'm just letting you know that I did. People know me, Jordan. I've been saying this. The Instagram follow read receipt to boot. Thank you. I follow you. I like your stuff. Because I better start following.
Starting point is 00:03:28 But that's fine. I'm going to follow now that I know. There's going to be some following going on. Yeah. Will you talk a little bit about your beginnings? Because I think your whole story is fascinating. I've talked at length about this, but you have a specific question. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Tell me about, so you grew up and feel free to just tell me to shut up. Yeah, kind of. That's where I'm aiming. I'm going. But go on, but go on. Perfect. So you grew up, you have 10 siblings. Nine.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Nine siblings. I'm one of 10. Traditional Jewish Orthodox household. Yes. And then now you're a stand-up, not so observant anymore. Well, see, it's hard. When I talk about this, it's like, it's not like black and white, you know. Gabby thinks I'm the most religious person she's ever met.
Starting point is 00:04:09 You know, my girlfriend. Yeah. You know, I have a muzzuzzo on my door, you know. I'm not an animal. I mean, there's certain things, you know, there's certain things. I say the shmah in the evening, hear me. I like that. You know, there's things that have stuck with me.
Starting point is 00:04:25 And there's a lot, you know, most hasn't. I'm obviously, you know, specific to scissoring. It's not, it's not everybody's path. But, you know, there's obviously. Obviously, so it's, you know, what's scissoring like? You know what? I really don't do it a lot, but for, I do that, this is a lesbian handshake right there. I love that.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Ooh, that's good. Yeah, I wish I could do it with you. That and pending. So, you know, it's kind of like a spectrum in my family. There are people who keep more than others who are more observant than others. I was born into a Lubavich family, which is. For listeners that know, it's a sect of the Hasidic community. Sort of the typical, the way we see it in movies.
Starting point is 00:05:02 and things. But, you know, but people often think from Williamsburg. I'm from the Crown Heights, which I think is chiller than the Williams. I mean, to the average person, they both look insane. But I know that it's a lot cooler in the Lubavish community. But then we moved to Montreal. And I moved my whole family. I was just a kid. So the whole religious thing was really something my parents did to us. We didn't become religious or anything. We were born religious. And then we, what's called, fried out. We slowly but surely did less and less. But still I remain the most religious person at my school. So I went to now a conservative Jewish school, not an Orthodox Jewish.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Where'd you go to school? Bealick and I mean, don't cut that. My dad went to, my dad went to Bealick. Look at this. Just that's why I ask. Okay, keep it in there. Shout out to Bealik. Why not?
Starting point is 00:05:53 In Montreal, your dad went to school in Montreal? No, but he went to Bealick in Brooklyn. Oh, see, now I'm not as excited. Can't be connected at all. I thought he went to school in Montreal. Okay, Josh didn't have to follow up. He went to Bialik. No, he didn't go nowhere.
Starting point is 00:06:09 I didn't see him there. Nobody saw him there. Nobody saw him there. Okay, this is like, this is like Carmel are working at McDonald's. There's not a pick. There's no receipts. Meanwhile, Donnie Tee worked plenty. He was the young overweight boy in the back brace fighting scoliosis.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Nobody heard of him. You saw him. You probably picked on him. You know they did some exit studies. we're not a political podcast, but they said that Trump working at McDonald's was one of the most effective photo ops of his entire campaign. You know I worked at McDonald's. I am the only person on record who has worked at McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:06:45 We've all seen this. Let's show the listeners. It's great. And we'll have our video editors put it in. The editor's got to put it in. And if not, I'll put it in. I don't trust nobody. Okay, well, I can't put it in because look at this.
Starting point is 00:06:56 But anyway, we trust you. What did you do at McDonald's? Do you hear what we did? Okay, here's what we did to go to McDonald's. We were working at this coffee shop. The coffee shop separated me and my best friend, Sheney. Shout out to Shany. Shout out.
Starting point is 00:07:11 And because we were chatting. Yeah, we're chatting. Occasionally I broke a cookie to eat a, you know, I'm working at the coffee shop. You're like 18 years old. What do you care? Sure. And then she got wind that McDonald's would be paying $11 an hour. And we were making like eight or something like that.
Starting point is 00:07:28 So we got it. So we apply very professionally, bring our fake. TV's, da-ta-da, I worked for her dad. She worked for my dad. If anybody calls anyone, you know what I mean? It's like, you close the loop. Yeah, you make it, you know, you inform everybody. By the way, if you get a call, I worked, I was, you know, I was on time, whatever the thing.
Starting point is 00:07:48 And, but we got to the McDonald's training. First of all, in the training, they kept saying like, oh, people come into the restaurant, do this. I remember thinking, like, what restaurant? And then I realized they were referring to McDonald's as a restaurant. And it blew my mind. I'm like, look, you know, when we have customers coming to the restaurant, I was like, I kept looking across the street like, is this going to interfere with our, you know, shifts or something, not knowing that they were referring to us as a restaurant, which would blew my mind.
Starting point is 00:08:14 And then we said we only want to work the till. We only want to work the cash. Did you want to steal? No, we don't want to be doing the burgers. Yeah, it's too much. You guys. You wanted steal. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:28 By the way, we did steal plenty. Listen, I know where this is going. Robbie and I come from the mean streets there. And by the way, they're stealing from their employees. Nobody's still... We're not stealing. We're not stealing. We're Robin Hooding.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Nobody is stealing nothing. True. So we go, we only want to work the cash. Two Jews come in to work at McDonald's. We would only like to work. And I let them all. I'm very quick on a machine. Like me tallying?
Starting point is 00:08:56 What are we doing? Get it out. Get out. So good. So already everybody hated us because the way that this McDonald's work, well, I'm sure many of them do, or all of them, is that it's a rotation. Like you're on, like most people end up sticking somewhere. But really, if you're called in to do any station, whether it's the fry station or the back, you know, with the burgers and everything, and you're called also to do the till to do the cash. And we're like, we only. And so people did not like us. What we did have. going for us as we were very hot.
Starting point is 00:09:32 That was very good at the time. I was a secret lesbian, but using men when I needed to. Oh, same more. Just like, you know, like I'm not paying for a drink. Like, that's not going to be happy. Love, you know, like the Jewish reasons to be straight, I very much picked and choose, just like my Judaism. And what was your observations as like a would-be seductress with no interest?
Starting point is 00:09:54 Where you like, men are so dumb? No, well, I was a part because I go up poor, I was like in a poor, I was the poorest of anyone I knew, which to be Jewish and poor felt unheard of, felt like how, how, what an outlier. This is the biggest outlier of anything I've had is that I'm Jewish and poor. I haven't heard of the story since reading about Anne Frank. By the way, I went to go see the attic and I'm like, not bad. It's really roomy. By the way, three bedroom.
Starting point is 00:10:22 Beautiful. Could be completely made up. Who knows. I mean, I'm looking at this attic and I'm going, it's not ideal. But it's better than many. Yeah. For sure. Better than many.
Starting point is 00:10:32 They leave that part of the story out. May her memory be a blessing. She certainly didn't need to live so lavishly if she was definitely blind. They lived really lavishly up in that act. You know, you picture an attic. What do you picture? Some dust. A frame.
Starting point is 00:10:46 A frame. No a frame. They're standing. Fully up. They're up. You know, everyone knows Anne Frank. I want to know Annie, Frank. Because you know Annie was having fun, you know.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Played a little backgammon up there. Oh, my God. And then so I was the friend who never had no money, but I was able to do, you know, it's kind of like a blind person can hear better or whatever it is. You know, your other senses. I used, you know, my mouth, my words, my cup, my head, all that stuff. So we would go out. Let's say we went to like a club in Montreal or whatever.
Starting point is 00:11:20 And it was like a $20 entrance fee. And maybe my friend was like, well, I got you, you know. Sure. I would be the one to go up to like, let's say we're like 18. First of all, we go to the club. You're like, you know, a group of eight girls who are like 17 sneaking to be 18 or whatever. And you're like, I can't believe we got in. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:37 You know, we feel like we're getting, like, I can't believe we got in. It's like, obviously they want these teenage girls. They know what they're doing. You know. So we're like, they make you feel like you want. Something happened with my hearing. Olivia. Suddenly it's like much louder here.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Oh, here. Let me. And I'm a loud talk to. I'm a loud talker. I'm a loud talker. You might have to be more involved in this episode than you are and others. My levels. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:03 How are we doing with this now? This is a bit better. Yeah. That's a bit better? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:09 There you go. Because this is going to be the situation like Joan Rivers. You know, the doctor wasn't watching her monitor and she died. And I know it's a boring job to watch a monitor. But it's all the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, is just paid to put the anesthesia in you. It's her only job. But of course, he's texting. He's taking pictures of Joe.
Starting point is 00:12:27 I think you took a selfie with Joan Spine. She was murdered. She was murdered. I don't know who had something against Joan. She was murdered. That is a cold case. They stuffed it away with JFK. We'll find out soon.
Starting point is 00:12:43 She was murdered. I could not agree more. She was murdered. Really murdered her prime. You know who murdered her? De Blasio. There we go. That's who I think murder.
Starting point is 00:12:52 I don't want to bring up another cold case. Richard Simmons, little weird. Little weird the way he went. He wanted to go. Did he? Only to you. You don't know that, Robbie. He's been wanting to go for 30, 40 years.
Starting point is 00:13:03 He said bye. That's not true, Robbie. He didn't, he couldn't say by. He's such an impasse. He had to completely disappear. Robbie, I don't know if you know this about Josh, but he's Richard Simmons's number one fan. He took the news on the chin.
Starting point is 00:13:18 There's certain people, you're glad we don't know more. You know, like the Mr. Rogers, those Simmons. As we start uncovering the pedophilia ring, I don't know who's safe from that. So maybe it's better off. You get out from there. Yes. I think Richard, may his memory be a blessing.
Starting point is 00:13:35 I think there's a reason we didn't know more than we needed to know about him. I know plenty. He was great. Richard. There's nothing there there except the fact that he never officially came out. And he probably was loveless, which is sad. Josh, it's good that we don't know more about Richard. And we think his housekeeper Teresa might have been.
Starting point is 00:13:58 had her hands a little dirtied in his finish. No, I don't think that she, he fell down the stairs and he didn't go to the hospital up there. It's good we don't know. It's all alleged. It's always good when we don't know what we don't know. Remember, it's alleged. The less you know, I have said this, the better.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Do not look into things. People are investigating. I'm like, investigate what? Lay low. Once they're dead, I don't want to know anything. Let their memory be a blessing. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is, is brought to you by AG1.
Starting point is 00:14:29 You guys know at this point, honestly, AG1 has changed my life. I've mentioned that before. I've taken it every single day for over a year, and every single person that I come in contact with, I'm recommending it to. And it's because I was on semaglutide, okay? I was on Eno-Zempec, one of those for a long time.
Starting point is 00:14:46 And the biggest complaint always is issues in the restroom area, okay? That you're not fully regular. So one, I started taking AG1 to get regular, because I heard it can help with that. Then I found out about the 75 vitamins, minerals, nutrients, etc. You have no idea what this product has done for me. The number one thing, by far, is this sustained level of energy that is different from coffee. I just feel great.
Starting point is 00:15:13 So because I felt great, I decided, okay, I want everybody in my life. I want the good guys listeners. I want people on social. But I also want my friends and family trying AG one because it's that good. So I gave it to my dad. My dad is 65 years old. He generally has felt fine, but, you know, he could use a pick-me-up. And I thought, you know, if I have this sustained boost of energy, won't he also?
Starting point is 00:15:37 I gave it to him. He's hooked. He's hooked. I can't explain it. He almost has, like, more color in his face. He feels more alive. He feels more awake. There is just this sustained level of energy that comes from AG1.
Starting point is 00:15:51 And you're building a fantastic habit, drinking water in the morning, having your AG1, having your AG1 tastes good. So folks, I don't know what you're waiting for, but I am telling you this product, if you take it every day, it's going to change your life the way that it has changed mine. So this new year, try AG1 for yourself. It's the perfect time to start a new healthy habit. And that's why I've been partnering with AG1 for so long. And AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up. You'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2, and five free travel packs in your first box. Those travel packs are gold. So make sure to check out drinkag1.com slash good guys to get this offer.
Starting point is 00:16:31 That's drinkag1.com slash good guys to start your new year on a healthier note. Drinkag1.com slash good guys. Welcome to Barely Filtered, hosted by me, Aurora Culpo, where my mess is my message and I'm here to share it all with you. Let's optimize our lives together and I'll make the mistakes so you don't have to. Join me as I share TMI personal stories about navigating relationships, dating, and mental health, all while breaking stigmas around topics like ADHD, anxiety, and depression. From messy mistakes to moments of growth, I'm here to support you on your journey towards healing and self-discovery. Tune in every Wednesday for a mix of humor, vulnerability, and raw honesty as I explore the ups and downs of living in this meat suit.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Follow barely filtered wherever you listen to podcasts. So if you were a detective, if there was a lot of time, Law and Order Crown Heights, and you were Mariska Hargitay. Give us an episode. What are you, are you saying? Forget it. Yeah, we're not looking into nothing. No.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Okay, you come to me with an issue. I go, and. I give you the and. Not even, you know, in improv you do yes and. I just go and. And that's it. That's the end of our investigation. We're not going to be looking any further into whatever the hell.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Here, we'll roleplay. My sister's been missing since two days ago. We're really worried. Can't you leave her alone? I, my family's really worried. She comes home and she lives with us. She doesn't want to live there no more.
Starting point is 00:18:04 I think it's clear. You sister went wherever she went. It's not your business. Maybe you could just look into it. We're not going to be looking into nothing. Okay. Come on me to show you the door? Sure.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Right there. Thank you. Okay. And we're actually taking in a lot of cases because we only spend 30 seconds on each. That's good. That's actually very good. It's a good, you know, quantity business. What was I saying with the,
Starting point is 00:18:25 What? You were at the club. Oh, yeah. So you get in. You can't believe you got in. And so my friends had drink, but I would, because they paid for the cab or they paid for me to get in, I would go up to like 40 year olds. Sitting with bottle service. Remember, they had like the couch out of like, fellas, what are we drinking? Yes. I came in with, you know, with like just total confidence. It's like, you know, they're all pedophiles. Like, why don't they want eight hot girls to sit with them? And I'd like, you know, shimmy through, sit. I'm taking the orange juice to someone say, I want to cranberry, and I just helped myself to the gray goose,
Starting point is 00:18:59 whatever I was doing. And if it was running low, I'd be like, you call yourself a man. You'll agree up. Yeah, yeah. I didn't pay a penny. I didn't pay a penny. More bottles.
Starting point is 00:19:09 No, more bottles. The markup that, you know, because a gray goose bottle, as we know, is $60. Yeah. But at the club, it's $600. You have an issue with this? None.
Starting point is 00:19:17 This markup, you're okay with it. Yeah, because you're not paying for the gray goose. You're paying for the. Well done. The real estate. No, no. You're sitting in a couch. You're paying for the table.
Starting point is 00:19:26 A seat in a club is worth a billion dollars. I got to sit. Yes. I got to take a seat. Since a young kid, people are like, you go crazy. I'm like, I go into anywhere and I go, where can I sit? This is, I need to sit. Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:39 I like the music, but I'm sitting. Occasionally I get up a song, only if I know my seat is secured and I'll grind my ass to somebody semi. But that was it I did. You have a nice seated dance. Every, every Jewish girl has a nice seated dance. What's your seated dance? Like one of the,
Starting point is 00:19:56 you know what I mean? Yeah. Just one of those. I'm very Trump-like in my dance. When he's dancing, I'm like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Trump is bringing joy. Let's get it.
Starting point is 00:20:06 What day you can say? This dance is fun. And then the point, thumbs up point. I love that. I love a thumbs up. Dump's up. We're doing good. Yes.
Starting point is 00:20:15 If I got a club and I thumbs you up, well, we're good. I'm going home with this dude. They see the thumbs up and countries quake. Dictators quake. You see. Did you see what happened on my Zoom? It gave us fireworks. We saw.
Starting point is 00:20:27 We saw it. We saw it. We saw it. What's a difference between a Canadian Jew and an American Jew? Howie Mandel and Alan Dershowitz. I don't know. But you know what I'm saying? Is there a difference?
Starting point is 00:20:39 Well, one is very smart. And I won't reveal which. You know what? I think there's a lot of differences in Jews now. I don't, you know what? This is going to sound about I don't bat for you. I don't bat for anyone. You know what?
Starting point is 00:20:50 I think I, I think we're not a monolith like anyone else, like gay people. like any kind of people, we can all be different types of people. You know, it's not like we're all the same. You know, I think I probably have, you know, the chips I have only grow. I've noticed with age people like, oh, you get my chips get bigger that cracks. You know, I can barely walk with these chips. Okay. So the chip I have being a poor Jew and a rich community and then being asked to bat for the, it's like, bro, you left us starving.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Right. You know, I don't really, I think we've lost Giddish kite. We've lost our way there are conversations. that we can't have publicly because they make us look bad or something, so then we don't have them even privately. And it's like we're not adhering to Yiddishkai. We could eradicate poverty within our own community like that. We have almost no poor people, you know, compared to the amount of wealth we have.
Starting point is 00:21:42 And we don't even do that. And then we're on our high horse. That bothers me that we're not more self-critical because you think the Jews were always self-deprecating. We're known for that. But when push comes to shove, we do have a problem. problem sometimes with greed, with money, with materialism, and we've lost our way. We're not looking out for each other.
Starting point is 00:22:02 I mean, I know people, I know landlords who up there, you know, it's like, hey, bro, we're both Jewish. Can you give me, you own the building? You mind cutting me some slack? They don't. Right. Jew to Jew doesn't help it anymore. It barely does.
Starting point is 00:22:17 It barely means anything. You're in a room with another Jew. It might not. Especially in showbiz. deals, showbiz. I love that. It's hard for me to wrap my head around what a Jew. It's just like, hey, you're you.
Starting point is 00:22:29 I'm me. And it's just, it's hard for me to bat for a homogenous group of people. I'm very person to person and I will see. But I know, I know great Jews and I know some really shitty Jews. And I grew up with shitty people and I grew up with great people. Yeah. So, you know, for me, Yiddishkite, one of the biggest Jewish Yiddishkite souls that I I know of. I speak to her often. My friend Ali, Quint, shout out to Ali. Her mother, who I believe
Starting point is 00:22:58 was a convert or didn't grow up religious and did kind of married into a more conservative family or whatever. She was originally, I think French Canadian, hot as can be. She was the hottest mom in the school. Shout out to Tina. Like, she's still gorgeous. But she was the kind of girl who her whole goal was to marry a rich Jew. She would go, she moved to Montreal from a small Quebec town with this, this what I've heard, with, with, with, at 16 or 17 and was like only going to go to dentistry or doctor balls at McGill at nice schools. And she met her father who was a periodontist, very successful.
Starting point is 00:23:40 And she always was done up. She, she drove a little red car, you know. The dream. She was so hot picking us up from. school. Like we'd hop in the back of the car and she knew I was really poor. I went to school. I went on subsidy to the school. And she was like the lead pack of the moms. There was a bunch of like PTA moms at this private Jewish school that were, I mean, this was their life. We had something, I don't know if I'm going on and on. You can stop me. But we had something a couple of, a couple
Starting point is 00:24:09 times a year called pizza lunch. Well, you would bring two dollars. Yes. And you didn't, you know, they had pizza. You didn't have your. your own lunch. You had pizza. And it normally went to breast cancer or something like that. And all the PTA moms, these eight like Jappy, Jewish American princess, not Japanese people. We love you. I love Japanese people. I love the food. I'm interested in going to Japan. The flight seems long, but I'm going to look into it. So these moms, you know, maybe there was 1,500 kids in the school. And that day, everybody got pizza and every kid, but maybe 10, were rich, wealthy, you know, Jews who made it after the Holocaust and their kids are now born
Starting point is 00:24:54 wealthy. And I would ask my mother, I would like try and like, I'd go to my mother like in the morning. I knew it was pizza lunch. I'd like, hey, ma, looking good. Any way I can get. A couple dollars. A couple slices. Get out of my house. Nice doing business with you. I see you at four o'clock. No pizza for Robbie. Yeah. So I would bring my lunch. The way that I was looked at, so we would come, we would file down everybody had to line up, go downstairs to the auditorium to collect your ticket and then go into the cafeteria and you get your pizza. I would shuffle with my bag of lunch. You're Tupperware of Chowling. Not even Tupperware. Plastic grocery bag. Okay. And I'm like, I would have to like go through the stations. They had like tickets going. It was like, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:37 mayhem for them. And I'm like, oh, I don't, I don't have a, you know, I don't have $2 to have my own lunch. You know, so I'm like filing through. Allie's mom ran the dessert. the popsicle stand. So you had six or seven moms lined up for the ticket exchange for the pizza. But then when you got into the cafeteria, when you were done your pizza, you had another ticket for your popsicle. And I was like, oh, my God. And she was my best friend.
Starting point is 00:26:02 We sat together for lunch every day. Just lovely. And her mother came and brought us popsicles. And I'm like, oh, Tina, I don't have a ticket. You know, I'm not going to steal. But Tina came through with the pops. But Tina's like, don't worry about it. You know?
Starting point is 00:26:16 And she would get me pizza. And I always felt bad about it. Yes. But it's like Tina is the only Yiddish kite in this fucking school looking back. You got 1,500 kids with pizza. Seven, don't. Either pizza for everyone or no pizza at all. What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:26:32 Well, I don't want to. This is not, you go, Josh. I don't want to blast Ben, but Ben thinks that soup kitchens are silly because the homeless could serve themselves soup. Ben, do you want to expound? Okay. You definitely took this in a weirder direction than I would have gone. But to respond to the soup kitchen call, I think that it's very self-righteous when people are in soup kitchens. I think we should just give the people the food and not have the rich people feel really good about serving somebody's soup.
Starting point is 00:26:59 That's my call. That's my call. That's my call about the rich people serving soup. But back to what you are saying, Robbie, because I think it's very important. First of all, you said it in the beginning. This is not a Jewish problem. This is a human problem where we see people in need and we don't help them. because we are Jewish and we should have started that this is a wonderful Hanukkah episode.
Starting point is 00:27:21 And I love that we're talking about this during Conica. I love that we're talking about this, that because we are Jewish and because we have experienced some success, I think that we should always, I personally, like, I always try to help anybody that I can, but we have the power to help people. So I don't know what we're going to do on this podcast, but I do love the idea of there are certainly poor Jews. We absolutely can help them. and we should do something about it and it's terrible. And the thing is we do do a lot.
Starting point is 00:27:49 We should be, if we want to be an example, be an example. Do the most. Yes, agreed. Do the most, you know. I went to an amazing school on subsidy. So I'm not taking that. There are privileges being born into a Jewish community that were afforded to me that I know many of my counterparts in other communities did not have access to.
Starting point is 00:28:07 So that means a lot to me. But we can, we can do the most. We really can do the most. And it doesn't have to be through a foundation. we can have people, you know, something that I love to do now. My mother, when we were going up, she was always clutching her purse when we were running from the subway to home or whatever. And one day she was just, you know, and she was, you know, we were always running and scuffling classic Jew. And she gave like five dollars to a nun or somebody, somebody from the Salvation Army, somebody.
Starting point is 00:28:35 And I'm like, you gave a five. I'm like, I thought we were tight. You're giving five? I thought we were tight. And she's like, sometimes when you're feeling tight, it's just good to. remind yourself you're in a position to give. Yes. And so what I do, and now I try to, especially on Fridays, and I'm reluctant with it,
Starting point is 00:28:53 but I hear my mother, now that I'm feeling better, all like any homeless person, anybody who's with me, I try and give the smallest denomination in my wallet. If I have cash, I get paid cash sometimes for stand-up. But sometimes, you know, I have 100 because I got 100 the night before for my set or whatever. And I just give, you know. and I just, just, I don't want to lose 100, but I'm like, wow, I have 100 to give. It is a reminder. Like, it's like, oh, it's so hard to part with 100 or 20 or whatever's on my wallet,
Starting point is 00:29:24 but I'm like, I have it to give. Now, do you wait? And it's that sort of, it's that sort of, that's why it's like, yeah, I'm very conflicted because I think we've lost our way and we need our Moses. This could be me to bring us back. So in the spirit of Hanukkah, I would love to find a way to do something because this is a very powerful conversation. I think we're Jews.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Let's not go through. So let's give money. Money. No, no, so let's give money. So honestly, comment, really, comment below on Josh's YouTube. Literally five people that need $100 each because they can't afford a Hanuk a meal. We can trust these tears. No, no.
Starting point is 00:29:58 And don't even. We can't vet these people. I can trust them. I can trust them. We can literally do. Anybody that tells me that they need $100 and is lying is going straight to hell anyways. Yeah. We don't believe in that.
Starting point is 00:30:10 The Jews don't believe in that. Yes. Yes, we do. Yeah. By the way, we don't really, we don't know. I think the Jews best answer for everything is we don't know. That's why we don't have such good numbers because it's not like, are you going here? Listen, you know, Garden of Eden could be nice.
Starting point is 00:30:27 We just don't know. Either you're in God's good graces or you're in God's underbelly. And the underbelly is a version of hell if you believe in the afterlife. So I do think that we could be, if we want to be an example, let's be an amazing example. But we've definitely. We have idolatry and materialism, and I'm no, you know, I'm into that. I love materialism. I love things.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Yes, I have 2007. Base model Porsche came in. It needs a new water pump, a catalytic converter. You have a Porsche guy? You have a Porsche person? No, I have multiple people. You have multiple people. You know what?
Starting point is 00:31:02 Having an old car, you have to enjoy a tinkering lifestyle. I think I enjoy a little bit of a tinkering lifestyle. Yes. You have the alarms that come on on the dash. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, there's always a light. There's always a light with those cars. You're not getting light free car.
Starting point is 00:31:16 It's not going to be lightless. This is not a light free car. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Element. You guys know we love Element to the Good Guys podcast because we are always dehydrated. We are working so hard. We're podcasting. We're acting. We're selling spritz.
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Starting point is 00:32:43 So folks, that's it. Order Element today. Get your free Element sample pack with any purchase at drinkelement.com slash good guys. That's drinklm-n-t.com slash good guys. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by MetroVac. This Conica, give a gift that truly shines, whether it's for the car enthusiast, tech lover, pet parent, or someone who just loves a clean home. Metrovac has something for everyone on your list.
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Starting point is 00:35:01 with thoughtful, high-quality gifts for every night of Hanukkah and everyone on your list. Head to Metrovac.com today, and don't forget to use the code, good guys. Can we talk food? Are you a foodie? Yes. No, I mean, in the way that I'm a human, I like food.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Okay, can we talk like top three Hanukkah dishes? See, I also, you know what? You guys are going to be like, she hates. I don't, Jewish food, not great. Because it sucks. It's not, we don't, we're not known for our food. We are it. We're like the British.
Starting point is 00:35:31 I think that Chanica dishes are better than most. I think we make a delicious lotca. I don't care for a lotcas. Have you had a lotco with crem fresh and caviar? I mean, maybe I'll try that. Are you going to make. Is this an invite? I'll,
Starting point is 00:35:46 I'll make it for you. Yes, I will. Wow. Okay. I got to get to New York. I will make it in my kitchen. A crispy lotca, crem fresh and caviar.
Starting point is 00:35:56 What else is not a York? Sufkin, no, no, you don't know. It's fine. You don't like fried, huh? I don't love fried.
Starting point is 00:36:02 You're not a fry. What's your, what's your good to? I love Chinese. food. Oh, I love Japanese. It's great. This is a food. I love Japanese. I do. Oh, so do I. That's delicious. I love Japanese food. I love Indian food. Oh, I love Indian food. Oh, I love Indian. Ethiopian food. Have you? I love it with the hands. You know, you understand why people went to war for spices with the Indian or the Ethiopian. You're like, there's nothing but a lentil,
Starting point is 00:36:26 but like, what have they done to the lentil? It's a spice. I popped a turmeric right before I came. It helps with my brain inflammation. See? Yeah, you do. have a big head. I do. He's worried about the fluoridated water. This is his new thing. What is it? The fluoride in the water. What's with fluoride? There's fluoride in the water. It's what keeps our teeth healthy. It's been this incredible thing that's been the last 60 years. Says you. For overall oral health. And this guy is on his musugina anti-fluoride kick in Robert Kennedy. Let me explain. There is nothing more Jewish than questioning. There's nothing more Jewish than questioning. I don't think it affected my brain. It could have affected my brain. To take anything this life as an
Starting point is 00:37:09 absolute is completely un-Jewish and stupid. So all I want to know, all I want to say is we don't know fluoride for sure. I don't know her. I got fluoride plastered on my teeth. There's fluoride in all of the water. Could big papa government have been looking out for us? Sure. Could they have been trying to kill us? Possibly. That's all I'm saying. No, that's just a likely. I'm with him on this. I'm totally with You said it's trendy. Josh, you don't want to question anything. If there's something to worry about, I'm worried about it. It's trendy.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Ben is on trend. I'm not on trend. Now in the news. This has been a thing that's been talked about. It's catching on. For forever. Nobody cares. It's one of the most common elements in nature.
Starting point is 00:37:50 And it's the reason why people have healthier oral health. I will go on the record to say there is much too much fluorite in our water. I'm convinced. I am convinced. It's nuts. I am convinced. Do you deserve each other? I am totally convinced.
Starting point is 00:38:06 I just love that this is a guy with respect who you have benefited from like big pharma for being overweight your whole life. Pharma came in and helped you tremendously. But it's like you cherry pick you cherry pick. We don't know. You cherry pick your science. I do. I cherry pick everything in life.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Just like just like Robbie cherry picks the way she's Jewish. I cherry pick the way that I'm Jewish. We're all cherry picking. I cherry pick everything. It's nuts. It's the equivalent to Josh. So we could learn about cherry picking. How do we not cherry pick?
Starting point is 00:38:42 It's nuts. It's a lesson. It's a lesson. Okay. I have a question. I need cherry so we knew how to cherry pick. You're going to a restaurant, Josh, and you're ordering everything on the menu. You're not picking what you want.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Josh, give it to us straight. Yes. You're ordering everything? Everything on the menu. Do I trust the chef? You're making that kind of money? Do I trust the chef? You're not missing.
Starting point is 00:39:02 You're doing, Amacasi? What are you doing? Do I trust the chef? There's not one item you don't want. Is this Al-Macasi? Is it Omicasi? You pick.
Starting point is 00:39:10 You pick. You pick. You know, Omikaze is great because you think you're eating one piece by one piece. You're going, I'll never get full. Boy, are you full. It sneaks up on you.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Stuffed. You know, it reminds me in university we had Frosh, and they gave us a little shot glass, like a little beer. It looked like a beer mug. It was this big, cute. I love miniatures.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Me too. And then you wore a little. on a necklace and every time they called something you had a little shot of beer and I'm like we're never going to get loaded you know when you're 19 you just want to get like a beer but it's it was like a shot of beer a minute for an hour all vomiting wow never been so drunk in my life and it was just little stickle mitchickle mitchick and then before you know it's awful wow that's what omicassi is for me it's the same experience you have a piece of rice a piece of rice a piece of rice a piece of Before you know it, you're stuffed.
Starting point is 00:40:04 What's it like having Hanukkah with nine siblings? Hanukkah was pretty traumatic for me. I'll say because my birthday is Hanukkah. My birthday always fell on one of the days of Hanukkah or around Hanukkah, December birthday. And my mother would give me $20 for both my birthday and Hanukkah. But it's like, I was like, she's like, it's double because, you know, it's your birthday.
Starting point is 00:40:30 But I'm like, but then it should be $40 because everybody, gets $20. Of course. So do you know what double? Like I'm like, wait, all of your siblings got 20 and you got 20 for Hanukkah and your birthday. Yeah, well, she goes, well, this is for Hanukkah and your birthday. And I'm like, but they're all getting 20 for a Hanukkah.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Not fair. This is like, not how double works. This is half. It's crazy. Yes. I'm like teaching basic. Well, that's double. And the birthday card, you know.
Starting point is 00:40:54 So, and she would maybe get us for a family. So everybody got like $20. And for family, she would. get us like a new board game where you'd get risk or you'd get monopoly. But the risk, my brother Levy would make you play till like four in the morning till he owned everything. And it's like, let us go to bed. And my mother would come in the kitchen like late night and you know, you have off school. And she's like, oh good. The kids are playing. And we're like, Ma, please. Please let him have Russia. He can take whatever he wants. We don't even really
Starting point is 00:41:28 know how to play the game. I remember being like, okay, I guess I lost eight horse. Like he would move the pieces. And before you know it, you know, you're stuck in like Kazakhstan with one guy. And I'm like, I don't even want Kazakhstan. That is my wife. My wife cheats at every board game. To a T. She's never lost.
Starting point is 00:41:46 You know what? Her favorite TV show is Jeopardy. You know, every single night we watch Jeopardy, she gets at least 35 right. Wow. She's a genius. You know how many I get right? It's very hard, Jeopardy. I know, but this guy's talking about fluoride.
Starting point is 00:41:59 He gets six right on Jeopardy. And we got to listen to him. Josh is very, very worried that the farm is going to collapse. You need the scene from white man can jump where she asked. White man can jump. She happened to no letter, you know, foods that begin with the letter Q. If you get onto Jeopardy and they have a fluoride category, you're going to fucking sweep. And I can't wait to see it.
Starting point is 00:42:21 I'm going to sweep. But he doesn't know anything about it. You go right through for 200, please, for 400 for 600. He just saw a tweet. He fucking double on fluoride. We're having a neurologist. to explain his memory loss. Here's what I know, Josh.
Starting point is 00:42:35 All I know is that it's good to question. Good to question. Good. I've always said that. He's questioning. You know, there's nothing I don't believe. I question everything. I question everything and I believe everything.
Starting point is 00:42:48 You know, it's kind of like, it's as crazy that we're here living on the planet that we're not plugged into the wall. I don't have battery. That there would be an afterlife, of any kind. There's nothing I don't believe, you know? And I question all of it because I don't know anything. But the only thing I do know is that there's too much fluoride in the water.
Starting point is 00:43:06 I'll say that. Amen. That's the reason why we have oral health to begin with. When are you go to Britain and take a good look at those teeth? Amen. By the way, you have beautiful teeth. Thank you so much. Because of the fluoride, he had fluoride sealing as a child.
Starting point is 00:43:20 He was almost going to be a dentist. I want you to know that you have beautiful teeth, Robbie. You know what I really do. I want you know that your teeth are ugly. They're not. You have terrible teeth. My teeth are excellent. No, he has beautiful teeth.
Starting point is 00:43:30 My teeth are excellent. I just have anything. I just have an underbite that gives me a bit of a list. You have wonderful. God bless you, Robbie Hoffman. I wish I could give you both a big holiday hug. Same as well. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Prolon.
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Starting point is 00:47:22 you join built.com slash good guys to start earning points on your rent payments today. Robbie, can you, I thought it'd be a fun game. Yes. Can you give us a couple fun Yiddish words and see if we know the words? That's too gay. I see, I don't like the gayification and the cutesyness. What I learned from you. That's happened.
Starting point is 00:47:45 I learned Khashvasholm. I don't care. It's wonderful words. So then keep Khashvashvasholm, I should play such a game. It's so fun. No, I don't want to be cute. You see it. I did bring keep us in a menorah for the end.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Is that okay? I'm looking at you for help. I'm like, we're, okay, fine, we'll play a different game. No, we're playing a different game. Is it? You are, it's really on trend.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Is it? No, we're converting people left and right. I'm sure of it. We are. We're going to think of a different game. No, we can do the menorah. That's good because I may not light. I don't always have a chance to laugh.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I do love to light. We're not allowed to light anything in here, but we'll do it in earnest. No, we're going to break the roll and we're going to do it. I didn't bring a match. We're going to find something. We're going to find an open frame.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Olivia. That's it. Stop it, Olivia. You think you're going to listen to the road ghettos. They weren't allowed to like the menorah. You think they said, we're not allowed to like the menorah
Starting point is 00:48:40 in the ghetto? They fucking did. They broke the law for God. Oh, you know what they were doing in Burkow? Yes. Yes. They're in Pripetich, rent a fire,
Starting point is 00:48:50 they sang there's. their songs. You know what they were doing in Warsaw? Dear Media says we can't light a match in the big office building. I don't go to fuck. Get the menorah up and we are going to do it now. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:04 By the way, I hope dear media said we can't light a menorah because then we can sue them for money. Okay. Get the manure up. Get the mat. I bought this in Canada. In British Columbia. It's beautiful actually.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Thank you. This is quite nice. God bless. And in case you're not watching on YouTube. Wow. You should be lighting a beautiful menorah. I thought we could wear keep us, no? I think it's right to left.
Starting point is 00:49:28 It's right to left. Yeah. Like we read Hebrew. Okay. Olivia, do you want to wear a keypaw? No, what is this? What are we doing here? This is great.
Starting point is 00:49:40 We're doing what Josh wants to do. Robbie, we're all our own type of Jew. Robbie, we're all our own type of Jew. Josh believes women wear keepers. Let's go. We'll do Shechiyanu because we haven't met before in person. So Baruchat adanai, Elohainu, Melachaholam, Chechianu, and Kiamano, the Hegiannu, Lezman Hazem.
Starting point is 00:50:02 But what was the first prayer? Why did you do? We can do Baruchatadaanae. Eloheedu Melechalam. Asher kishanu. In it's fatah. Lehadle gne. Lechadlechene.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Baruchatahedahedanae Elohainu Melekhalam Shehaheim latu tainu by amimaheim Bahamahazmanhazet Now shehianu And the last one to questioning everything. This is the protest. This is unreal.
Starting point is 00:50:52 This is fabulous. Well done. Yeah, you stick it in there. Okay. And you know what? Dear Media, we lit a menorah. We made history here. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:01 We did. You hear that? The Bostics. We did. If Hitler could see us now, thank God. Yes. Thank God. Do you know, Robbie, who invented Fanta?
Starting point is 00:51:11 Is it a Jew? No, it was Nazi Germany. Okay, sure. They couldn't import Coca-Cola, so they made Fanta with the Jews. And I like everything the Nazis made. By the way, they made great stuff. They made great stuff. They were very smart people.
Starting point is 00:51:27 You go boss. Listen, I happen to be a German Jew, last name Hoffman. So I like the Germans. You know, the Germans are, they happen to be a very capable people. I think that is not disputed. Yes, they were very efficient. They made great stuff. How good.
Starting point is 00:51:45 I mean, come on. Could this be any more Jewish? You've got to give credit to the Germans. Of course we do. Unbelievable cars. They did a good holocaust, too. They're great. They're great at organizing.
Starting point is 00:51:58 They can organize. Very good at organizing. And they make amazing clothing. Their uniforms are hot Hugo Boss. I mean, you see the Nazis now and their khakis and their polos, these incels. Terrible. I'm like, Nazis were the most fuckable dudes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:52:14 They're like, you know what I mean? This was a classy affair. They're buttoned up. They got the tie. I clip pocket square. Let's go. Now they're so ugly. These neo-Nazis are so ugly.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Hitler would be so in the Nazi and how ugly they were. They're like, get out of here. You call yourself a Nazi. The Nazis would roll over if they saw what was marching in Charlottesville. They would. Ugly. Yucks. No good.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Should we do our What are you nuts moment of the week? I think we should. I think there's one. So we have, before our final segment, we do something called a speak pipe where people call in and ask us for advice. They want us to teach them, to help them. So we have one here. And it is from someone wonderful.
Starting point is 00:52:56 And their name is Kara. Hi, Josh and Ben. I have a question for you. I've been married to my husband for about five years. And I am struggling to figure out how to deal with this situation. His mother is an amputee. She lost her leg in a car accident in college. Luckily, she has lived a relatively normal and healthy life since then.
Starting point is 00:53:18 She had two boys. Everything has been as healthy as it can be, but they all make fun of her. They do it in a joking way, and she laughs back, but they joke that, like, at physical therapy, she should only be charged half price. When she gets a pedicure,
Starting point is 00:53:37 if she gets a pedicure, they should only charge half price. She should get pants half price. There's a story about her falling into the ocean one time. And that's hilarious. They keep laughing about it. kids on the beach stole her leg one time. All of these things, they seem funny, but then in reality, they're not.
Starting point is 00:53:54 And I don't know what to do. How would you handle this? Laf along or say something. Thanks. Nothing. Again. Again. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:54:03 Why do you have to? Nothing to do with you. Nothing. She can say, are you taking away her agency? Do you think she's not capable of saying she's been through so much? She lost a leg. She had two boys on one leg. Believe me, she's stronger than you think.
Starting point is 00:54:17 Okay. And laughing is a coping. And if she's fine with it, then why aren't you? Don't meddle. Well, you don't have to because one day you're going to have to. And you want to save your medal. I save a medal. And please stop fighting other people's battles, okay?
Starting point is 00:54:30 That's it. Please stop it. I totally agree with you. And it's probably funny for her. Otherwise, she, what is she supposed to do, cry? No, it's funny. It's funny. You know what?
Starting point is 00:54:41 My mother, I just talked about it. My mother was overweight, my whole life. And she always just laughed at fat people. I didn't understand why. I said, but Ma, you're fat. She likes to laugh at fat people. Good for her. It made her.
Starting point is 00:54:54 That's us. Where she was so judged in society, and every store she went into, she was kind of ignored and we had to see that. And so when she could laugh at somebody like her, when she could be self-deprecating, it helped her, I think, in a way. My mother growing up, my mother was a bigger person.
Starting point is 00:55:11 And she always, when she would talk about someone, she'd be like, did you sing Doris? She put on 20 pounds, horrible. I'm like, you think anyone's saying that about you, Ma? Yeah, no, it's like me. It's like people accuse me of being homophobic. You better believe it. You think I like me?
Starting point is 00:55:29 What's wrong with you? Right. No, it's embarrassing. What are we doing? I have to cut my, it's off. It's insane. Sure. It's not a normal experience.
Starting point is 00:55:40 So, yeah, I like to see other top surgeries with bad results. I go, look at that results. This is a coping mechanism. It's a self-deprecation. that we should embrace, you know, unless she has said something, unless she has said something. By the way, I need to look into this.
Starting point is 00:55:56 I might need a little bit of a top surgery. Yeah. And I need, I want, you know. I went to the best. You know, there's certain things, I spent $8,000 on my surgery. I believe it's $12,000 now. There's certain things.
Starting point is 00:56:07 People, yeah, people tell me, oh, you're going to, you can get top surgery in Minnesota for $2,600. I go, there's certain things you do not buy on sale. Surgery and a parachute. You do not buy. On sale. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:19 Don't Black Friday. The parachute is half far. You got a question. How is it missing a string? You don't want a parachute on sale. Yes. Okay, there's certain things you want the best price. You want the most expensive of.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Okay, good. I'm scared. No expenses spared. Yeah. Good. Normalized top surgery for dudes. I saw a guy at the gym who had it beautiful. He got it in Mexico.
Starting point is 00:56:45 Oh, he did it. He did it good. I mean, this looked like a proper. or peck. You know, no, you have pecks under the fat. If you have fat,
Starting point is 00:56:52 you know, tits are just memory glands and fat. You know, they're just, that's what their purpose is, you know, I think it's where the baby has like a fun time squishing. No,
Starting point is 00:57:03 they're awesome. They're awesome. But under that, I have pecks. Right. Women all, you have pectoral muscles that connect your shoulders. You know,
Starting point is 00:57:11 it really is fat grows over that. So if you have pecks under, now some people are deflated because they don't have the peck under. Or they have, Everybody has pecs, but they're not as defined as you might like. But then you could work on that. Great. No, I can bench price.
Starting point is 00:57:24 I mean, okay, good. That's it. Something to look forward to. Something to look forward to. Good, good. But to that speak piper, to wrap it up, keep your, keep or mind your business. Mind your business. Mind your business.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Oh, this is nice. The ambience. It's a gorgeous menorah. Lead us into our What Do You Nuts moment. So What Do You Nuts is our gripe with people, places, and things. You should be very good at this. You're walking down the street. as you are and looking at people and you're like,
Starting point is 00:57:49 what are you fucking nuts? Like, what are you doing? I was recently in the airport, ran off the plane, went to the bathroom. I'm in the urinal. It's a packed urinal. All of a sudden, I see the person next to me. Peek his head up and tuck it over the side,
Starting point is 00:58:06 looking straight down at my cock, had literally, no, he didn't care whatsoever, peaked right in. And that to me is a wet of you nuts. Keep your eyes off of my peeing. By the way, it's a compliment. Something drew him there. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:58:22 By the way. By the way, maybe you're looking at it half, half empty when it's half full. You think? Oh, yeah, big time. Okay. Huge. Okay. You think you, I wish you could find this man and thank him for such a compliment.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Something caught his eye. Fine. Probably was your penis. And he was impressed. Fine. How do we know he was impressed? He peaked. Maybe he was upset.
Starting point is 00:58:44 You think he was upset? No. I think he was impressed. Now listen, we don't know which way. That is the truth. Was he looking at it in the way we look at a crash? I don't know. Oh, was he looking at it in a way like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:58:59 Good for him. Well, well, he's still nuts, but I see your point. Yeah. Love it. My What Are You Nuts moment of the week are doctors who take vacations. This is nuts. This is unacceptable. You're a doctor.
Starting point is 00:59:14 It's like, come on. It's, you got to be on call. Always. Pager, page. Always. My sister-in-law, God bless. Baruch Hashem is giving birth today or tomorrow. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:59:26 Wonderful. Let me tell you. And now she, amongst other wonderful women in my life, are dealing with this. Their planned birth happens to be when their doctors go in a club bed. They're going to the hands. I mean, she's giving birth. They need a doctor. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:59:39 These doctors. This is crazy. They either bring in another doctor or they induce early. It's actually incredibly fucked up. My sister, the same thing happened to her when she was born, delivered a week early. They induced my mom, fun fact. What are you nuts? What? They're playing God all of a side.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Nine months of trust, and then you got to go. Well, where do you go in Santa Barbara? They need a doctor. The doctor's got to come back. Anything can happen with the abilical cord with her blood pressure. Yes. I mean, there's many things. It's very fickle.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Precampsia. It's very fickle. Yes. No good. And it's two lives all of a sudden. By the way, can we just touch? Never mind when the baby comes out. Maybe he needs something.
Starting point is 01:00:16 I've had two children myself. It's an unbelievable symphony that happens in that delivery room. Forget it. It's wonderful. By the way, can we just touch on for 30 seconds? Because I think you're like me, Robbie, how much better Los Angeles is in New York? They're both dumps. One's a shithole, one's a dump.
Starting point is 01:00:31 All right. Here you think. The whole thing is awful. Okay. New York is good if you're really rich. Yes. You know, and it's good to go back and forth. I love living in L.A.
Starting point is 01:00:40 I'm also the kind of person that I like to drive. I didn't drive growing up. I love to drive now. It keeps me a connection with my father. I have no relationship with my father. He's still Hasidic, but he loved Porsche and he loved it. That's why I have an old, I don't really even know about really other cars. But I always had an estrangerer of my father, but I always felt like him.
Starting point is 01:01:00 He was the few times that I met him and he was so funny and charismatic and very much like me. Many of the ways that I am now is because of him. And I realized I could still have a relationship with him by the ways that I am like him. I have a very strong relationship with him because I get to enjoy the ways. that I'm like him and I feel it, our relationship living on in me. And that's why something, every time I get in my Porsche, I see him and my, it's just nice. It's just a way to have a relationship within me. So that's, you know, so I don't know if that, you know, so that's why I like L.A.
Starting point is 01:01:33 It's my father's from Sandy. And there's a way that part of me is more connected with him. And I have kind of a more robust relationship with him in the ways that I am like him and get to enjoy those moments. But New York is, it's the greatest city in the world. Yeah, it is. You know, as far as cities go, that's a city. Do not bring me, people are bringing me.
Starting point is 01:01:54 I don't know what kind of cities. People are naming. You know, like it's okay. Robbie, you're going to come to New York. I'm going to make you lotkas. I can't wait. And we're going to drive around eating our lotkas in the Porsche. I can't wait.
Starting point is 01:02:08 I can't wait. Yeah. Beautiful. Do you have a waddy and nuts moment? Do I have a waddy and nuts moment? Well, You guys got to prep yours and everything. So this week, what happened to me this week?
Starting point is 01:02:18 Let me just look at my cow, because then I'll know. Because believe me, I have at least 10 of these a day. But it's hard to remember when you have so many. Okay. Oh, wow. Well, my what are you Nazis about this morning? How do you have somebody on a podcast? And you don't send a reminder.
Starting point is 01:02:37 Come a day or two before. You didn't? I didn't realize. I thought you got, because I thought you were. I look him up. A cow. Where do these cows go? Nobody came on email.
Starting point is 01:02:49 Not the cow, automatic email. God bless you that you're here. You're so professional. Thank you. Okay. It's amazing because I go, it's just on. I go, is this thing on? I have to find him.
Starting point is 01:03:03 I'm finding him. I'm going through my DM. Do I have an email? If you are booking anything three weeks ago, week of, send a follow up. So right. So true. Just a reminder, you're in this week.
Starting point is 01:03:16 We cannot wait. Is there anything you'd like to drink? I've thought about it a lot. I've been thinking about it all. You're right. Just so you know, Robbie, Josh has been talking nonstop about this episode too. Not to Robbie. I hope it is lift up.
Starting point is 01:03:32 Beyond. Okay. And we should, yeah, we should look into and continue to fight to reduce fluoride in the water. I really believe strongly about this. Yes, it's really wonderful. Everybody, just my one Hanukkah message. Everybody, don't ever let anybody tell you that you're not Jewish enough, okay? Robbie said it first.
Starting point is 01:03:50 I said it as well. I think picking and choosing is fantastic across any religion. That's all. And you should be who you are and you should help the poor people. But let people tell you you're too Jewish. There's such a thing. Calm down. Yes.
Starting point is 01:04:03 Calm down. It's a little over the top. Let's relax. It's not excellent. Let's relax. The timing is great. Let's relax. Let's relax.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Happy Hanukkah to everyone, wishing everybody just abundance and safety and fulfillment and love. You don't want to do the Yiddish game? What's the Yiddish game? Be done, be done, Ben. Let's be done. Should we sing a song? I Hanaka, Ichanaka, Yon to Bashanah, Lestika, Frilach and a tagze. Right around the table will give you a treat.
Starting point is 01:04:35 Okay, that's it. I'm already, it's too gay. It's too much. I don't know why Yiddish and gay. become so close to me. It's very close. It's too close. Why are all the men so feminized in Judaism?
Starting point is 01:04:47 It's because our mothers are so tough. Again, monolith, generalization. No, I think we're a weak people. Okay. I got a terrible bout of diarrhea starting yesterday, and I don't even know why. We're physically weak. Like, I don't know how anyone lasted more than a day in the holiday. I would have been an afternoon in the Holocaust.
Starting point is 01:05:06 No coffee. I'd be like, don't think I can move any bricks today. I got to tell you. I got to tell you. And you take away my glasses. I'm like, but I can't see nothing. Like, I don't know what you want. Help me help you.
Starting point is 01:05:21 Help me help you. Gustav, help me help you. Help me help you. Please. Robbie, you are just the best. Thank you so much for joining us.
Starting point is 01:05:29 Folks, this episode is five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Five stars. Positive comments only. Apple. No, we take the negative two. Engagement's great.
Starting point is 01:05:39 Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcast. podcast, watch us on YouTube, share our clips. Follow Robbie Hoffman on Instagram. She's on date. Plug your pod. My podcast, too far, which the New York Times calls addictive is back. It's very fickle.
Starting point is 01:05:54 We're coming back when I want to come back. We're not going to be every week. We're going to be hopefully every second week, maybe every week. I'm keeping you on your toes. Yes. Too far, pod. Follow me on everything. I'm all over and I got some exciting news dropping very soon.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Sam. I'm in the Rich Kids Club. I'm on your Patreon. Thank you so much. We really appreciate that. So make sure to follow Robbie on Instagram so you don't miss all of her cool shit going on. Happy Hanukkah, Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Can't wait. Good John. Beautiful. Robbie, thank you. Oh, thank you. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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