Good Guys - America's Podcast
Episode Date: April 17, 2023Welcome to America's Podcast - the best-branded, most to-the-point, no-BS podcast title there could ever be. This week, the guys fly solo discussing a potential theme song for the show? They discuss B...en being a creature of habit, Millie Bobby Brown's engagement, Deuxmois, Amex charges, and more. What are ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! That’s tryfirstleaf.com/goodguys to save 50% on your first SIX bottles plus free shipping It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf. Download the app, book a bay and Come Play Around. Drinklmnt.com/goodguys for a free LMNT sample pack with any purchase See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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The following podcast is a dear media production.
I'm Josh Peck.
And I'm Ben Sopper.
And we're the good guys.
There's a lot of guys out there.
And we're the good ones.
Okay, Ben, this is important.
So listen up.
I think we need a theme song.
Okay.
I'll write the music.
Do you know that I'm like a songwriter?
Are you?
I wrote a song for Claudia to sing.
She never sang it.
But like we should like sell a tab or Olivia.
Not to like steal your thunder.
I'm just saying like.
Do you want to leak it?
Like, I think that if you know somebody that I can sell my song to,
Hmm.
Say more.
It's called I Try to Be Brave.
It's a coming of age song really written from the female perspective.
Huh.
And it was, yeah, it's a great song.
There's another brave song.
Definitely.
I want to see you be brave.
I'm fairly certain that the inspiration from the song,
including like all of the vocals and like some of the lyrics,
it's just like a hodgepodge of like a, like,
A little Aber-Levin.
Basically, it's about respect, right?
And I actually spell out the word respect.
R-E-S-P-C-T.
But it's 100% original.
Yeah, so.
But continue.
Well, I think we need a song.
We can collaborate on it together.
I wrote a couple of lyrics on my flight the other day.
Tell me what you think.
What airline?
Delta.
No, I flew American.
I'm a Delta boy.
You heard that here first.
Delta. But we love United
because they carry Spritz Society.
Yeah, we do. Also, though, Delta, like,
we got some stuff to talk about with your movie selection.
We'll talk about it later.
Listen, I'll go wherever, whoever's offering
direct, I'm in. Oh, we see.
Okay, here's the lyrics.
It's a work in progress.
Two Jewish guys,
both big and tall,
no subject too small,
for the good guys.
You know the good guys.
A mother's dream.
Premium podcast team
They're the good guys
That's all I got for now
It's great, wait
Let me read it so that I can like see it
Thanks
The other two things I wrote there
Are just other
Two Jewish guys both big and tall
I'm just trying to think of like
What is this like
Does this like sound like the nanny theme song
Like a
Two Jewish guys both big and small
That wasn't the nanny though
They were working in a
Yeah exactly
In a deli in flushing queens
Till the rabbi said
Or no
Till Ben's wife said
I'll give you a podcast
I'm your queen
No subject too small
It's fantastic
I think it's like I hear a little
Like rich girl
So like
To do it's guys
For big and tall
No subject too small
For the good guys
You know what I mean?
Yeah we need a higher Carrie Underwood
Clip it Marsh
We need a higher Carrie Underwood
Like that is just like
That's good stuff
If we get a music deal off of our theme song
I think that we will
I'm manifesting it.
Can you, okay, let's just imagine that lightning struck and you're a pop star.
Do you think you could command the stage of a Madison Square Garden?
Yes, and that's because I'm delusional.
Like, yes, I do.
I do think that I could.
Me too.
Honestly, I think that the people don't realize the stamina, honestly, that it takes to do these podcasts.
And I think it's not the same stamina, but you are talking, singing for an hour and a half.
I guess the difference is the running and the moving along the stage.
The hard part would be the crowd work.
You know, like going all the way to one side, running back to the other side.
Right.
It's a lot of movement.
I feel like I would get a little tired, but maybe your body adjusts to it.
And also, I think that's why they all do drugs.
Could you imagine how many steps you get in per show, though?
So many.
You'd be crushing it.
Do you walk a lot?
You would clip all your rings on your Apple Fitness Watch.
Do you walk a lot?
A lot.
I'm a big steps guy.
You want to compare steps?
I do want to.
This is the most Jewish.
podcast to everything.
Let's pass steps.
Something like the subject of this
bit should be things they've never said on Joe
Rogan.
Let's compare
steps. We're 90 years old.
Literally. Okay. I'm ready.
They just made me share my data. What do you got?
They made you share data.
You just click no, right?
What do I work for these companies? That's what I'm saying?
Why do you offer me a rate?
Oh, a bug happened and now I need
to help you resolve it? How about I get a
little money for this bug of yours that interrupted my my experience.
Yeah, why don't you offer me a rate?
Okay, I'm just saying over the course of the year, my daily average is 8,100 steps.
I feel like that's pretty good.
It's not good.
Okay, cool.
I thought it was great.
Hear me out.
You live in the most walkable city in the world.
Sure, but like, that doesn't mean that, like, I'm a full-time walker.
Like, I also have to sit and, like, do things sitting.
Are you doing year-to-date?
Year.
I want to see your yearly average.
Okay.
Because you sit on your keister half the time.
I'm 11,000-5.99-1.
My God, babe.
That's good.
Where are you walking?
Here's the thing.
It's so dark in here.
It's so bad up here that I need to expel energy to quiet the thoughts.
Do you run?
I do.
I run a little bit.
What are you running from?
So much.
So much.
I need the runners high.
I really do.
Speaking of which I just saw air.
Yes.
Thinking of runners high.
Have you seen it?
With my co-star, Matt Damon.
Yes, yes, with your co-star Matt Damon.
Have you seen it or now?
I haven't.
It was really good.
I found it interesting that they decided not to show Michael Jordan ever when it's about him,
which was just an interesting take.
Kind of felt like they had like $3 to play with for the movie.
Sure.
Very low budget, but really it was good.
I really enjoyed it.
It's also an impossible, I mean, granted, like Chadwick Boseman played James Brown
and the great Austin Butler played Elvis.
But when you're talking about these icons, like what actually, especially the physical demand of it, like, got to be tall.
Totally.
They can't get Kevin Hart to play Michael Jordan.
No, they can't.
Like, who do you get for that?
I just, I don't think you need star power in that role.
You just find, like, a kid.
I just think you find a kid that looks like a young Michael Jordan.
He doesn't need to say a ton, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you should show his face and you should maybe show a clip of him playing basketball.
Like, there was no ball, none.
It was all the making of.
this deal, which was an absolutely revolutionary deal for those I didn't even describe the movie.
Please.
Air, Michael Jordan signing his contract with Nike, which went on to set the precedent for all
shoe deals forever because it was the first ever royalty-based deal.
Right.
Every other deal was just, here's 250 grand.
You're going to be the face of Nike over five years and whatever the company makes, the company
keeps.
Right.
But Jordan's mom, according to the movie, was like, no, my son needs royalties.
And apparently he now makes $400 million a year in royalties just from Air Jordan.
Let's not get away from Michael Jordan, but I do want to say, if the good guys had a shoe, what would it be?
I'll answer that.
A Brooks.
A Brooks. Or a Merrill.
Or a Merrill.
A burkenstock.
A burkenstock.
I was going to say, do you know not oat?
No.
That's like the Jewish-Israeli version of Birkenstocks.
Not O-T.
It's the same thing.
Like, you know the feet are really smelly.
And, by the way, if you wear Birkenstocks on a plane, you know, you're not.
kill yourself.
I'm just,
kill yourself.
Yeah.
Just like when you get off the plane,
kill it yourself.
What about Soxenbergs?
I think it's a vibe.
It definitely like,
you're trying to tell people
something about you
without saying anything,
you know?
It's a personality
trade Soxenbergs.
What I like about Michael Jordan
is how
completely disagreeable he is.
He's not very nice.
No, that's because he's a legend.
I love that for him.
Yeah.
It's just like,
when you're actually,
a legend, fuck everyone.
You know?
I love it.
Like Kobe, like the best thing, like, in the aftermath of Kobe's death, the narrative
started to change where it was like Kobe was this like unbelievable guy.
Like he did so much for everyone.
Kobe was a stone cold killer.
Right?
You get in Kobe's way, he's going to move you.
Like my favorite, I'm sure you've seen that clip of it's the Olympics and Kobe just
runs through Paugasol.
Yeah, his teammate.
His teammate at the time.
And it's just like, when you're,
you're that great.
Doesn't matter.
I love that.
Me too.
That's the goal.
It's to be a douche.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You get so famous, you can be a douche.
Yeah, and I'm sure that he's really nice to the people that he actually likes.
But imagine how many people every day just like want to smell the same air as Michael Jordan.
I mean, and also there's no hiding, right?
Because he can't throw on a ball cap and be like, I'm just going to be amongst the people.
You're six-six.
You're handsome.
There's no hiding in a crowd.
No.
You're Michael.
Everyone wants to talk to you.
Yeah.
I just remember seeing a clip of these two, like, 16-year-old kids who, like, see Michael Jordan.
And, I mean, these are proper kids.
And they're like, it's Mike, it's Mike.
We got to get a photo.
Oh, Michael Jordan can get a photo.
And Mike's like, nah.
And I'm like, that's what I'm not.
Oh, man.
I don't know.
MJ, he's got it going on.
Yeah, he does.
He does.
You know, it's funny.
When I was doing my extremely small part in the movie Oppenheimer, it was before Matt Damon
was about to go shoot air.
And all I remember is, and obviously he's a producer of it,
one of the other actors, months after we did Oppenheimer,
was like, yo, dude, like, Damon called and was like,
hey, there's a small part of like a scout in the new movie air.
I want you to audition for it.
To which I thought, what about me?
Yeah.
I can't be.
You want to see me be a scout?
Yeah.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to show you how I would be a scout.
It's good.
Can you imagine?
Or, no, you got to do this as a scout?
Good job, young man.
Could you imagine?
He didn't hit me up.
And you asked?
No.
My buddy auditioned.
Thankfully, he didn't get it, so I don't have to feel that bad.
But he, my buddy was older than me, and he does look like a scout.
Yeah.
The thing is, though, Damon was the scout.
So maybe he was auditioning for Damon's job.
It's tough to get.
Yes.
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Speaking of other basketball movies, just while I teased Delta early,
and their terrible movie selection.
As you know, we've discussed this.
I'm watching movies that everybody's already seen.
I'm on tons of flights, and Delta's movie selection is vast.
And I love Leonardo DiCaprio, and I was scrolling through,
and I saw a Leonardo DiCaprio Mark Wahlberg movie called Basketball Diaries.
I'd never seen it, maybe heard of it.
Put it on, thought it would be like a good thriller, basketball movie.
Sure, there's a little drug use, whatever.
Yeah.
No problem.
This was the darkest, most fucking.
up movie I've ever seen that really had just it was just like a lost 17 year old who like was
just beaten by his not Pope I hope what are they priests priest thank you beaten by his Pope
beaten by his priest tons of drugs sells his body for money to buy drugs been there terrible
such a sad movie I just can't believe that I wasn't able to leverage my body
during my time on illicit substance.
Because I'll tell you what.
You're crazy.
It's one thing to be hopelessly addicted to drugs.
It's another thing to feel rejected when trying to sell your body for a dime
bag of marijuana.
I love that now, like, because People Magazine wrote about Hillary Duff and the good guys
So maybe they could pick it up.
New headline,
Josh Peck regrets that when addicted to drugs,
he didn't have more people sucking his dick for cash.
Major regrets.
Me sucking.
Oh, okay.
Right?
Or no.
Well, I guess it's what you're into.
It's up to them.
It's fine.
I'm just saying,
Lean on a DiCaprio in that movie,
he did none of the suck and he got sucked.
Right.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If I look like that, I too.
Yeah.
Could you imagine if I was like, listen, for that $20, $20,
on our bag of, you can
make a,
just take it.
Now we don't remember my feelings.
That's sad.
Well, I love that you're catching up
on movies from 30 years ago.
Yeah. I can't believe. I have to watch
the Wackness. That's what you just told me to watch.
The Wackness, I only say that, not because I'm in it.
A little because I'm in it. But you're from New York.
It's about a Jew.
You're going to love it. I'm excited about it.
It's your.
type of movie. I'm excited about it. Do you think you live because you're such a city kid and you're
so cultured and you're so smart and yet there's something so refreshing about you like I do feel
like you're wonderfully sheltered in a good way. Do you find that? I think so. Yes. I think so. What do you
attribute that to? I think that I just love finding things that I really like and then I don't
really go outside of them. Like when I like found a club that I loved, I loved that the doorman knew me.
I didn't care if it was still the coolest club or not the coolest club.
I go to that club.
I don't venture into any like new.
I just like, I don't know.
I think that you end up like staying where you're comfortable.
So I always Upper East.
That's where I live now.
I love it up there.
Right.
I don't want to live downtown.
I go downtown and I see these rats and I see these piles of trash and all these people.
It's disgusting.
And so I stay away.
But I think that I could get myself into trouble if I wanted to be trendy.
And all of a sudden, you know, you go downtown.
You meet a couple of people that may be.
I don't know.
I think that I haven't been,
I think that I have been sheltered but by myself.
Like I,
my parents were always like very open to,
actually that's such a lie,
my parents also sheltered me.
Do you think that like for me,
my rule with clubs was,
and it wasn't an ego thing.
It was just,
I'm not gonna wait in line.
Like you,
of course not.
There's nothing to wait in line about.
So if I go to a club
and the doorman doesn't,
says, hey, get in line.
You're not so special.
I've never seen Dr.
Josh.
Go.
I go, I don't give him a hard time.
I go, thanks for doing your, thanks for doing your job, Chief.
And I leave.
Have you ever had to tell someone in that situation who you were and have them say that they don't care?
Not that they don't, I definitely can feel, no one has ever had the boss to be like, I don't care.
But I could see in their face them go.
And then what?
And that's the difference between being a celebrity and being a celebrity or a celebrity or,
an influencer or whatever the fuck you call me.
I've gone to clubs.
Like, I've gone to Vegas and, like, I wanted to get a table with my friends.
Before, like, I knew the proper ways to get free tables.
Yeah.
I would go up and I'd be like, boy with no job, you see it here, million dollars.
You would pull yourself up on your phone?
Yeah.
And literally, it's very, very, very humbling when they don't care.
Yeah.
And that's happened before.
They're like, cool.
Well, especially now that Instagram has rolled out this pay for verification.
Like, there's nothing sacred.
No, the pay for verification thing is very strange.
What do you think of that?
I just, it removes, is it a different verification or it's identical?
That's the problem.
It's identical.
The same exact thing.
Exactly.
So somebody can pay $8 a month to have the same check me and you have.
Yes.
Kind of stinks for us.
It's just, but it doesn't in the sense of like.
Why can't somebody make a Josh Peck account and pay to get it verified?
Well, you can't impersonate.
Right.
And that, like, even Elon drew the line there.
Like, if you impersonate.
your it's a no-go but I think that it's an interesting thing because like if you have 10 to 30
000 followers and you insist on the checkmark like and then and then what like you wake up the next
day and like I don't know especially now knowing that everyone can get it I don't think anyone
goes oh wow someone with a check marks in my DMs I think that maybe it's I'm now thinking
differently about it great for businesses right okay I think that it provides credibility to
businesses, I think that for the average folk, if they were to randomly get verified,
their friends would roast them, roast them.
Huh.
Right?
Like, think about that.
Yeah, I have a friend who did it.
Oh, yeah?
How many dollars does he have?
He has like $30,000.
Here's the problem.
Why did he do it?
He believes that it would like level.
It would get him into people's DMs better.
He had a better chance of sticking out for business deals or dating.
Just like, it would just give him that little extra credit.
that you come to the top of the filter because you have the check.
He also should have been verified.
He had 30,000 followers.
He had had a bunch of articles written about him.
But for some reason, Zuckerberg was like, now you, my boy.
And so at this point, knowing that he paid for it, I'm like, yeah, that stinks.
I know.
I wonder if people, I guess nobody knows if you paid or if you didn't pay.
He did.
But that would also be interesting.
Like, if you went to somebody's profile and you knew that they paid for it.
Like, or it should be like a different color.
Yeah.
It's weird.
It should be a class system.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
Like, we're more important than him.
Clearly.
And I need people to know.
I don't want people impersonating that they are more famous than they are.
I'm impersonating.
I think that brings us to our first news story of the week.
And I'm dying to hear about, you know, what you think about this.
Fans react to Millie Bobby Brown's engagement at 19.
No effing.
way, she's engaged.
I actually did see that this morning.
And my really good friend, Jesse Bon Jovi, his brother, I've never met his brother,
who's now engaged to Millie Bobby Brown.
Are they of the Bon Jovi's?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Of the Johns.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
I'm looking at Millie Bobby Brown right now.
I'm imagining her in New Jersey at the Bon Jovi compound.
Yeah.
Millie Bobby Brown and Seac Caucus?
Yeah, killing it.
Wow.
At the shore?
Killing it.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great news.
That's how we get them.
And Jesse has a great rosé company called Hampton Water Wine.
They just, they crush it over there.
They're crushing it.
Wow.
And so while I have not met Millie's fiancé, Jesse's brother, I have to assume that he's a wonderful guy based on Jesse.
And while I have not met Millie, I have seen Stranger Things.
And she was fantastic in Stranger Things.
God was she going.
And they were dating for a while.
And you know what?
Young Love.
Go for it.
Run into the.
the son. I agree. Right? Why not? I think it's, I think before I got married and met my wife,
I would have been like, that's ridiculous. It's sick. Now I go, yeah, why not? Why does she have to
now for the next decade spend her time dating a bunch of like crappy dudes who turn out to not be
the best to eventually like get married in her 30s because that's just what you do when you're
famous? Like, no, act like you're from Alabama. You found him. And now she's going to be 10 times more
successful as is he do you also feel that being married just allows you to just like I don't know
there's like a whole equation that you don't have to think about and you can just like focus on
life and work and fun but you don't have to think about like getting girls yeah it's time
saving yeah that's I think about that sometimes if God forbid my wife and I broke up and I there's
no world in which I go on raya there's no world in which I'm like in the dating scene I'd randomly
hook up with like a CVS pharmacy tech here and there and take
care of my kids. But I'm not committing time. No. To going on dates, to doing this. Too much. It's such a
time waste. It's too much. I'm too old for that. Have you ever seen Love is Blind? No. Oh my God. This is the
worst fucking show I've ever seen. I love to see what you're consuming instead of very good movies.
I don't have a choice at what I watch at home. I go home and it's like, oh, what are we watching
tonight? Love is blind. Great. This show, oh my God. Oh my God. The premise is they put
people in these pods and they just talk to each other, but they can never see each other,
but they need to propose before they ever see each other.
And then you watch the unravelings of after they've met what happens.
And then they propose after 20, they get married after 20 days.
20 days.
The show is so moronic.
Wild.
Yeah, wild and dumb.
And I just like, I don't know.
Three years, Millie Bobby Brown.
Who cares if she's 19?
Amazing.
Three years, that's enough time.
While it's cool to have a famous father-in-law like John Bon Joom.
What if, and let's just say hypothetically, Millie Bobby Brown fucking hates that music.
And yearly, your husband's going, let's go see Dad play.
He's performing at City Field.
You've got to go, okay.
And you're like, one more, I don't even know any John.
The good news is that it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not, because we've got each other.
And that's a lot for love.
Yeah, that's.
We'll give it a shot.
shot. Whoa, we're halfway there.
Oh, God.
Whoa, ho. Living out of prayer.
Clip it. It's so good.
Wow.
My God.
I mean, John Bon Jovi.
Stunning.
John Bon Jovi.
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My wife loves it.
Yeah, I mean, and he seems like the fucking best.
Yeah.
Music is music, right?
Like, you love emo music.
That's not my jam.
But like, if I took you to a Blink 182 concert, you wouldn't, unless maybe I'm wrong.
Like, you wouldn't have a bad time.
I would have a great time knowing we would talk about it on the podcast.
But you wouldn't enjoy the music they were listening to.
I remember loving the music when it really was hitting when I was like 13.
I would never listen to it.
Have you tried?
I know the hits.
Yeah, but have you tried listening to it now?
Yeah.
And feeling the serotonin in your body.
It's, being like, yeah, I'm 13.
You're wearing to panic at the Costco shirt.
By the way, is this an unbelievable shirt?
You know, I went by a new kosher restaurant on Pico Boulevard called Costco.
Really?
Yeah.
They're going to get sued.
Solid.
You literally just opened up the lawsuit.
They were like so quietly just like using Costco's name in the image.
They use the same insignia.
They do.
I was just wondering if it's like a smaller kosher Costco experience, like there's samples.
Goshko.
They have Jewish sporting goods, so it's just chess sets.
Come to Maidels.
You just do like a whole chain.
Maidale's sporting goods?
It's so good.
I've ever happened to Models.
Did you like Models?
You know there's a famous electronic chain that similarly went the way that Models went called the good guys.
And that's all I can think about when we were pitching.
Really?
I was like, are we going to get sued but they're out of business?
We should buy it.
We win.
We should buy the business.
Oh, great.
To have a brick and mortar shop with you off the backs of this podcast, come get good guys electronic.
Yes.
Right?
I'm in.
I just want to have like, I really want to have a proper 9 to 5 one day.
Yeah.
Like Tanna talked about in our incredible last step.
So good.
And Tanna is so sweet.
I wish I was there in person because she seemed like a gym.
She's a gem.
And it's so funny.
I call my mother.
Shout out, Barb, one of our biggest fans.
Shout out.
She loves you.
Oh, I love her.
You are right up her alley.
I love her.
And I said, Ma, you might not want to listen to this one.
I said, it's a bit risque.
And because this is what my mom says whenever anything like remotely even goes on the line, she goes, I worry for you.
I worry for you.
And I don't want you to be in a swinkling as a punching bug.
And I go, ma, it's okay.
And so I said, you might not want to listen.
It's a little risque, but she's awesome.
It just might not be for you.
I was like, Patana, it's this massive audience and she's a good friend.
And she listened.
And hold on.
Let me say, let me read you the text.
Because when it came in, I literally walked, I was in a store and I walked around grinning
from ear to ear to get, she co-signed Tanna, which was, I liked Tanna.
I felt a little bad for her.
She seems like such a good person.
I hope that this crazy business doesn't hurt her.
A lot of crazies out there.
Is that the best?
That's the best.
Wait, was there anything else?
and to which I said,
she's a very good person and she loves your son.
And my mom writes,
who doesn't?
Who doesn't?
Who doesn't?
So kind.
It's funny.
Our moms are polar opposites in that.
My mom,
after that episode that I spoke about my friend
when we went to his house
and he showed me a squirting video
for the first time
and there was a meeting.
My mom literally told all of her friends.
No.
Oh my God,
you have to listen to this episode
where Ben talked about squirting.
Like she really is nuts.
Does Mrs. Silver listen?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
Oh, she consumes everything.
She's a number one consumer.
She's the best.
She'll call me and she'll say, you know, I'm putting up an Instagram post.
Can I talk about, like, she wants to break all of the news.
She wants to break all of the news.
Like they went to a Bruce Springsteen concert two nights ago at UBS Arena and Spritz
Society just sold into UBS Arena, but it's not sold yet, but it will be there
home of the Islanders.
Mazel.
And she's like in my Bruce Springsteen recap videos, can I please mention that Sprit Society will be sold there
in the upcoming weeks?
I'm not sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that she's coming to you for permission first.
Oh, well, she's learned.
Yeah.
Sometimes she breaks stories.
She'll break things.
She's a leak.
Yeah, she is.
She's Dumas.
Your mother to imagine.
Oh, my God.
Who would be the most unlikely Dumas?
Michelle Obama.
Yeah.
Yeah, that would probably be strange.
Yeah.
That would be weird.
Claudia did April Fool's last year that she was Dumas and it like went really viral.
That was cool.
You don't have to say by any means, but like, does people like,
Claudia, who are so much in that world and so savvy and so has her finger on the pulse,
amongst your guys' friend group, is there like it's probably this person, like a theory of
who it is?
Claudia knows who it is.
Gotcha.
Claudia knows.
I don't imagine.
I don't know who it is, but Claudia knows.
It's incredible that they've garnered enough of, like, goodwill that no one wants to leak it.
Because I'm sure Claudia's not the only one, probably.
I'm sure.
No, because she has representation.
Like, she's in.
the world. Right. And yeah, it is crazy. So it's a she. Oh, yeah. I think. That's a good question.
I just assumed. I actually don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Wow. I assume so. We just like do one.
God, I'm always assuming. God, it's a white male. I can't assume. Stop assuming. I can't assume.
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Do you have your What Are You Nuts moment of the week?
Ooh.
I can start if you need.
You start.
Recently, I went to a beautiful University of Oklahoma.
Loved it.
So nice to be there.
Gorgeous group.
Had a great time.
I'm flying there on my direct flight on American.
The only one who flies direct from LAX.
Lovely flight attendants.
Gorgeous.
About three quarters of the way in,
one of the flight attendants who I had had a lovely repartee with,
gets on the speaker and says,
you know, I know a lot of you are interested
in the experience of a flight attendant.
So I've written a poem,
and I'm going to perform it for you now.
Now, you'd expect this on a Southwest.
It gets wild on Southwest, right?
Mm-hmm.
But America's airline.
You are not, by the way, not a bad poem.
Just not what I was expecting from this experience.
Let me find it for you,
because I think we need to give it just like this small...
Here we go.
You hear it?
Kind of a downer you bring up COVID.
Still a good poem.
The talented flight has become so routine.
People become excited.
Your face is even better.
What are you nuts?
This is not a coffee shop.
No.
No, that's strange.
But also, like, you know, maybe he's looking to get discovered.
They're often authors, publishers on these flights.
Maybe he's looking for somebody to come up to him and say, man, I want you to write for a living.
He was a gorgeous man.
And I, here's the only announcements I like on a plane.
And I don't know if you watch these TikToks.
When a pilot gets up and goes, we have some very special guests on the plane, my mother and father, I'll cry right now.
I've never seen those.
Oh, my. Benjamin, listen, I'll sit at night on the couch in my living room and watch Soldier come
home videos and videos like this.
Yes.
Tears pouring down my face, they'll go, hi, it's Captain Ricard.
And we've got some special guests on today's flight.
My mother and father who supported me throughout my journey, who were there for me during
some of the most challenging times in my life, they're sitting in seats 2A and 2C.
Please give them a round of applause for being here on my first flight as the captain of this
airship.
And I'm like, oh, I'm sobbing.
Balling.
It's so beautiful.
So beautiful.
No, I mean, those soldier videos, though.
Nothing compares to those.
Oh, my God.
The surprise.
It almost makes me want to steal valor.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, you should.
You know.
Have you ever boarded pretending to be active military?
No.
I haven't.
Not me.
Could you imagine?
Not me.
If we were in the military, what branch do you think you would be in and then I'll see me?
Medicine.
Navy seal.
Yeah, I'd be like a nurse or something.
But for what brand?
I don't know.
The nurse branch.
Yeah, I mean, the nurse rangers.
Good question.
I feel like the Marines are cool.
You'd be a Marine.
Very hard.
I don't see you as a Marine.
No, no, doctor for the Marines.
But I'm trying to think of what would be, you're an Air Force kid.
Okay.
Because.
Okay, I'll take it.
They go brains first, not brought, nuts and you don't have.
No, it's true.
They love brains.
And yeah, I could see a medic in the Air Force.
A medic in the Air Force.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't need to be on the front lines.
I would die.
Like, I just know it.
Or I'd cause somebody else to die.
Even worse.
I don't want that guilt.
Yes.
I don't want that guilt.
I don't know what I would be.
What would you be?
I want to believe that I would be like special ops, but I'm not.
I'm not a Green Beret, not an Army Ranger.
I've worked with Navy Seals before.
These guys are such real men.
Monsters.
I'll never be close to the men.
Good monsters.
Not like.
Like, oh.
You know, one of my favorite quotes is good men sleep soundly in their beds, knowing that rough men stand waiting to commit violence on their behalf.
Wow.
Whoa.
Whoa.
You think I had a quote like that just ready to go.
I don't know.
How?
How?
I can't even remember.
I can remember what I had for breakfast this morning because it is my Woody and nuts.
I'm going to read you the receipt.
Go, go.
Please.
So I even, I was so excited about.
this omelet when it came.
Looked gorgeous.
I even put it on Instagram
because it's something I used to do.
You know, I'd pan over my omelet,
one of those, like my patent.
And when I got the bill,
I was absolutely disgusted.
So I want to read it to you.
First of all, I got the menu,
and it said, two eggs special, right?
You can pick your type,
pick your style,
some veggies, meat,
potatoes, toast.
I said I want an omelet
with spinach, mushrooms,
onions, and cheddar cheese.
I expect to be charged more
for the cheddar cheese,
right? Like, it wasn't on there. No meat, no toast, potatoes, right? I get it. Beautiful, beautiful.
It was $27. And it seemed expensive. Yes, it's a hotel. Leave me alone. Okay, it's a hotel.
By the way, but you thought that was expensive. Ready for this? Because I apparently went off menu,
open food was $27 for my spinach mushroom onion white cheddar omel. But she thought that I wanted the sides a la carte.
I was simply reading in the line of what was included in the two eggs special.
One side of cheese, $4.
Insane.
One side of avocado, $7.
One side of potatoes, $7.
Read receipts.
$55 for a coffee and an omelet.
That's sick.
What are you nuts?
This place sucks.
L.A. sucks.
And the weather is trash.
I won't.
I don't believe that when I leave, the sun comes out.
You're all lying.
You're just like here in a simulation telling everybody around the country that the reason you live here is, look, the weather's so good.
And it's trash.
Why didn't you push back and say, no, no, it's clearly.
I did.
I made such a mistake.
When I'm in a rush, I asked for the check, right?
And I'm still eating, just so that I can leave.
Sure.
And I just gave her my card.
I assumed it was cheap, whatever.
But it was already swiped here.
What am I going to do?
do, tell her to go back,
refund, fix.
I just said, look,
miss, for the next person,
if it's going to be like this,
just explain to them
what they're getting themselves into, right?
She taught a lesson.
Yeah, which made me feel like such a dick, too.
It's even worse.
Like, I taught a lesson to a waitress
when it's not her fault.
Right.
Or maybe it is her fault.
Is it her fault?
It's probably in a small part,
her fault.
I think you would have been better off
just being like, hey, it's included.
Can you just take that off?
That's what I did.
And she wouldn't.
No, it was done.
She swiped.
So you void.
I could avoid it.
You could have a void.
There's a void.
I'm always afraid that when they void, they don't really void, and then they charge you twice.
And I'm not going to go into my credit card statement and check for breakfast.
Oh, there's nothing I love more than calling up Amex and saying, stop this charge.
I love it.
I'll tell you about some real horror of a woman, right?
You want to talk about horror stories.
My wife, we're getting married.
It's like six months before.
She gets this beautiful, I'm going to get this wrong, it's not satin, but like this beautiful wedding dress made for her, but it's very, it's classic, it's not classic, I wouldn't say that, it's very subtle, right?
Like, it does not look like a typical, but it's like beautiful white dress, this beautiful, like soft material, not silk, I don't know, I don't know.
Velvet, velour?
No, no, it's like a satin, right?
Satin.
My wife's going to kick my assy.
Let's go with satin.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think if it's like a satin, it's satin, but it's like beautiful, just like, just very simple, like two skinny shrubs here, this beautiful thing and it's like molded to her body.
Perfect, right?
Sounds like satin.
Silk?
Just like, I don't want to say classic because you think classic wedding dress you think, you know, Kensington Palace royal wedding style.
It wasn't that, but it just was like super simple and really classy, gorgeous.
My wife can't look bad.
So she gets it done.
they have to make it, right?
So she's been measured for it, blah, blah, blah, gone in twice.
By the third time, it's ready.
And it comes, and she tries to dress on, and it's wrong.
It was just not, it's a little too short.
It's like hugging, because they constructed it for her.
It's not right.
So like anything, she should be able to go, it ain't right.
Let's fix it.
Yeah.
The woman's not returning her calls, $2,500 dress.
Still not returning her calls.
She finally runs into the woman, or a friend runs into the woman.
The woman's shith housed says, I don't believe in love anymore.
I shut down my job and fuck it.
I don't want to be in this business anymore.
What?
It's a month.
Oh, my God.
There's a month to the wedding, and now she doesn't have a dress because this shit don't fit right.
She has a woman who doesn't believe in love anymore.
By the way, I'm sorry, but Paige made her shut down her shop.
apparently.
Is she a bridezilla?
No, she's the best.
I'm just saying, I met her.
She's a fantastic woman.
I'm just saying if you look at,
goes in for a dress,
comes out,
woman shuts down her whole shop.
I'll tell you what,
my wife,
if that receipt had come at $57,
she would have looked at it
and said, it was probably my fault.
This is how amenable she is.
That's Claudia too.
I mean, no,
not, sorry,
not amenable.
That's not what Claudia is.
She just does not want confrontation.
If that was $150,
She would have paid it and left.
Right.
That's right.
Yeah.
And so my wife's like without a dress.
And so thankfully, she was able to find a dress quickly, a new dress that worked.
But now we have this $2,500 dress.
It's useless.
The Good Guys podcast brought to you by American Express, hopefully.
And David's bridal.
That would be great.
Why not?
Shadow Wang.
Where else can be you?
Oh, show me your Mumu is a good partner of Spurt Society.
They do wedding dresses too.
Love Mumu.
Shout out Brian Kelly.
Hook us up with American Express.
Yeah, that's cool.
I would love to have a black card.
Would you?
Yeah, I would.
But anyway, we call American Express.
I would, but it's a very hefty fee.
Five grand a year.
Yeah, maybe that's the good guy's card of card.
You know, who has one?
Who?
Hillary.
The dove.
Fuck.
But a dude, I called American Express.
I said, and we had charged it six months ago, I go, this don't sit right with me.
American Express goes, this don't sit right with us.
Boom, canceled.
Not my problem.
Yeah, they're great.
God bless.
God bless.
Yeah, they're really great.
By the way, shout out Visa.
How much of them?
How much of that do they eat?
How much is like a year do you think Amex just eats in costs a ton?
There's some like, sure, you chase the merchant.
You're not going to bankrupt.
Like it's hard to, first of all, it's hard to collect money from a bankrupt business.
Sure.
Right?
So, or like an out of business business.
What are they going to do?
It's like, go to this woman and Amex goes her and demands $2,500 where they like send her to court.
I guess so.
They probably have a team that does it.
They probably have a court, yeah, a legal team.
But more so, I think for businesses that aren't going bankrupt and stay in business but don't want to pay, they just put a lien, right?
So they're like, okay, but every payment that comes to an Amex from now on, like, it's going to go towards this.
If you don't want to pay us back.
They know what they got.
This is American Express.
It's America's credit card.
I don't know if that's true.
What an amazing name.
Yeah, it's good.
It's just, like, so cool to have launched a business that long ago where you could just pick basic names.
So good.
American Airlines.
The American Broadcasting Company.
They really like, I would love the, God, imagine we were just the American podcast.
God.
Stupid, this American life stole it first.
Yeah, exactly.
I agree.
It was funny.
I was recently had an incredible breakfast with a former executive at Quibi.
Do you remember Quibi?
Oh, I do.
And we talked about, not him, mostly in me.
I was like, maybe the worst name in the history of anything.
Yeah, yeah.
Awful.
Yeah, awful.
awful and just also like sorry just a bad idea not the best idea well-intentioned run by incredible people
for sure and great talent and this happens right and it was for anyone who does remember it was
quibby was short for quick bites and it was this idea of like natively made content for your phone
but what never made sense is quick bites eight minutes isn't a quick bite right TikTok is a quick bite
that's right this is short this is medium form video you have to like
be really sitting to watch eight to ten minutes.
It's not like a,
it's not like a quick scroll.
Yes.
So it just never made any sense to me.
It wasn't right.
No.
But the name,
it's just like,
there's a whole thing to names.
I mean,
who would have thought that Apple
would be the most perfect name
for anything ever?
Yeah.
Like, that's good.
Yeah.
No, it is.
It is.
If we had a business,
I guess it depends on what it is.
But what names wise,
because we've already talked about murder.
Chalk full of what are you nuts.
Oh yeah, no, that's good.
You've heard the first leak here.
Yeah, you have, yeah.
But what, is there any other?
Four letters is what they say.
Is that?
And I did not do that with Spurt Society.
I just couldn't, like I liked the name enough that we just owned it.
But if I could go back, the best brands.
Honestly, Deer Media did well with the deer.
Four letters is what people really like.
Nike, like these like short, easy, like, not too many syllables.
Yeah.
So we need to think of four letters.
Or multiple four letters.
Puma.
Puma.
Joseph A. Bink.
Oh, that was actually the best part of air was that they, there was like a bidding more between Nike Converse and Adidas.
It's hilarious to think, by the way, that Converse was the official sneaker of the NBA.
Right.
You imagine these NBA players running around in Converse, losers.
Chuck Tallis, baby.
And Adidas was in it.
And they're like, when they're pitching the Jordans, they're like, you're really going to go with the Nazis or.
Over Nike because Adidas is short for it's the ad is for Adolf.
No.
Yeah, a different aid off.
All day I dream about sports.
It's not it.
No, it's Adidas.
I mean, it's eight off something.
Adidas.
Wow.
Yeah.
Crazy.
That's true because if you say it in a German accent, it sounds badidas.
Adidas.
No, that's how Japanese is.
And I'm canceled.
That was fun.
I have another story.
that I think is worth talking about.
Yeah.
Because I think we should leak
that you and I have a very star-studded event
we're going to today.
Oh, yes.
For a young Jeremy Renner.
Disney Plus, shout-out.
Ooh.
Cancel my show.
Jeremy Renner reveals that his eye popped out
during his snowplow accident.
It was so gruesome that it caused his eye to pop out of its socket.
He said it was like being under a giant metal cookie roller.
And his eye popped out.
I got pretty lucky.
None of the organs got messed up.
But yeah, and we're going to see him today.
So his eye's fine.
His eye is fine.
Wow.
But tell people more about this event because this is the first opportunity for the good guys to walk arm and arm on the red carpet.
Disney Plus invited me.
God bless them.
So nice of them.
To Jeremy Renner as a new show, great name, Renovations.
His new series, shout out.
Is it Home Renner's?
Better be.
Like, what else could it be?
I mean, yeah, it better be.
And so they're having a big premiere and they invited me and it just so happened that you're in town.
I was like, what a perfect opportunity for the good guys to.
Plus one.
I love that.
Yeah.
It's our first time out.
Yeah, I'm excited.
We are.
We're looking to do a new relationship.
We are.
We're going to fucking dating.
I love that.
And the cutest thing is when I told you about it and you said, I'm in.
You said, I need a suit.
then throwing the trash.
Let it's a quick rental.
Just, you know, I don't understand people who rent tuxedos.
You can get one for the same exact price from men's warehouse as the rental.
He had a $250 tax.
You know that?
Really?
Maybe $350.
At the men's warehouse.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to like the way you look.
I can't wait.
I guarantee it.
You don't know that line?
No, I know it.
Oh, yeah.
Have you ever shopped at a big and tall store?
And I only say that because you are tall.
Yeah, no.
I did once and I then vowed to lose.
a ton of weight because I just didn't like the feeling of the store.
Right.
But yes, it was called Destination XL.
There was another one called, it started with an R in the city.
It was actually an epic store.
Rothmans?
No.
Rock, rock.
Really huge?
Yeah.
No, but what I did always love about a big and tall is they had Ralph Lauren pieces.
Rochester.
Rochester.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
They had Ralph Lauren pieces that other people.
didn't have. It's like they made this style specifically for the hefty.
I love that. Yeah, I liked, yeah, so I think that once, once I've been, I should have gone
more though. Forever I just wore clothing that just didn't fit. Yeah. I just loved skinny
jeans and would grip my thighs to the point that they were, looked like they were going to burst.
How much effect, because my wife is, you know, a designer and she's gone to fashion school and
her, her aesthetic is impeccable. And over the year, she's really helped me to transform the way
in which I dress.
I didn't know I needed so much help,
but apparently I did.
Has Claudia helped you in that area?
She tries to, but no.
No.
No.
No.
Like she'll recommend things.
I don't know.
Her style for men, it's fine.
You resist.
I just, I had great style.
And then there was this cultural shift that I'm sure you're very familiar with,
where it became cool to wear sweatshirts.
And it became cool to like,
You no longer needed to wear like button downs and jackets and belts.
And like I was like that like I loved a faragamo belt.
Like I like go to the clubs like look Persian.
Like there was like something just like like like just like loved it.
And then all of a sudden it became cool to wear like a Gucci sweatshirt and then my style just became lazy.
I'm not good with slubby chic.
Yeah.
I don't have the body for that.
When they say oversized, they go that sounds good.
I'm going to look like a bag of potatoes.
Yeah.
So I've looked like a bag of potatoes.
I get it.
But like I could, like I have a good eye, you know?
I have a good eye.
Body by bag of potatoes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is there a, was that an earthquake?
That was, good.
Is there a John Wick action movie being shot out there?
That was pretty nuts.
And then there was another thing.
And I'm interested to hear your thoughts on this, but maybe I'll save it for, no, no,
I'm going to do it now.
Because I have a weird story.
Please.
You want to hear my weird story?
Okay.
It's actually not weird.
It's sad and, like, kind of.
scary and like maybe we'll want to cut this out who knows yeah that's how i like uh a psychology teacher
in florida was fired after he asked students to write their obituaries ahead of an active shooter drill
on campus i heard that i just thought that was insane i mean how dark no i think it's insane but also
like how how sad is it that we have to do these things that that's even a potential thing horrible
horrible horrible yeah like there's i know that like my niece she's like two years old
had to participate in like an active shooter drill.
Yes.
In Florida.
And it's just like, that's the ultimate what are you nuts, right?
It's the ultimate what are you nuts.
And it's the ultimate what are you nuts that by even us bringing it up, it will start such
a divisive, you know, fight.
It's so polarizing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There should be nothing polarizing about kids feeling safe at school.
And I didn't intend to bring this up, but I just.
I know, no, I know what you mean.
It's wild times.
And that was like my thing.
where because I tend to like lean left on pretty much every issue, but I would have friends like
if I'm an Obama Democrat, to many of my ultra liberal friends, they would say you're basically
Joseph Stalin.
No, like maybe no.
Stalin was a communist.
You're Hitler.
I don't know.
You know?
And I would, but my thing would always be like, first of all, I'm not going to not hang out
with family members who I know at their heart are really, really good people and that we
agree on almost everything from like a deep value what it means to be a human being standpoint
just because we didn't vote the same way like I can't you can't X people out like that
doesn't work no no you can't no you can't sorry that I brought down the mood but you can never
bring down the mood we could bring it back up what how I don't know so that's our show I ruined
I had a similar thing I wanted to talk about which is Kendall Jenner gets cheeky and
butt-bearing-fonged bikini.
Now, I think it would be indelicate for two good guys to be commenting on someone's
butt-bearing bikini.
I will not sexualize women.
Here's something I did notice.
And this is another one of your nuts.
If you're going to wear yoga pants, you got to be mindful of the brief you're wearing
under-said yoga pants.
Because something about lines and yoga pants, underwear lines and yoga pants just rubs me
the wrong way.
There is not one, you're not going to convince me that there's not one girl that puts on yoga pants with a short shirt and does not check what she looks like in the mirror.
Right.
So whatever lines you're seeing, she wanted you to see.
Really?
I think so.
That she's wearing a full-on brief?
I don't.
Maybe that's maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I'm part of the problem.
She's wearing briefs?
Yeah, like it'll be, and I'm just like, but the way it's hugging, now there's like these.
I don't, I'm not sure.
I'm just not sure.
And I know, listen, I'm ready to get roasted for it.
Yeah.
But yeah, there's something about it.
I think we need to be mindful of, of set.
And listen, I'm open to if women don't like the kind of boxer briefs I'm wearing.
Yeah, me too.
They'd be crazy.
I'll take it.
I love briefs.
I'm a boxer brief guy.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
Coverage, but security.
Any man, actually, I don't want to be too general, but boxers, come on.
Are you, are we, are we?
Are we nine?
Yeah, exactly.
Boxers.
But there are men that wear boxers.
That's insane.
I know.
Boxers are insane.
Also, people wearing shorts under their pants because they're going to, like, possibly get
into a pickup basketball game at some time.
I respect it.
Always be ready.
Always be ready to ball.
ABR?
ABR.
Always be ready to ball.
I'm now thinking about how, like, where are my boxers?
Where are they?
I had so many cool ones with, like, cartoons and I don't know where they are.
What did you do for Easter?
Wanted to kill every single person that I saw in Central Park.
Solid.
It's the first time that I have been in the city for Easter and I was, I guess I'm just like usually away for Passover and I was in the city walking my dog in the park and so crowded.
Yeah.
Like, leave my park.
Leave it.
Leave it.
Not to sound like so.
This is my park.
But I live two blocks from the park.
And so I feel that this is my park.
that this is my park.
And I've never seen any of those people before.
Yeah.
So it seems like they decided to come to Central Park for the day to celebrate Easter.
And I got to tell you, you're not welcome.
I took my young son to the L.A. Mission downtown,
and we handed out food to the homeless on Easter,
which, by the way, support the L.A. mission.
It's beautiful for people experiencing homelessness for the unhoused.
And it's a beautiful organization.
And I was like, I want to instill this in my son as, you know, as young as,
I can, that it's important to give back, and this is what life's about. And wouldn't you know,
carmically, got something in return. Harry Joussey was there looking handsome. Reality star Harry Joussey.
And I said, would you like to come on the podcast? He said, yes. I was like, this is why you do nice things.
There you go. To get something in return. Always. Always. Immediate. Yeah. Do karma. Karma. Do good things
so that Harry Joussey will be on your podcast. You know, they say in Judaism you're supposed to give
10% of all of your earnings to charity. On that note, let's say,
in the podcast.
Don't give people another reason to hate us.
Yeah, no, it's just too much money.
Should we announce our new, sort of our new fun thing that we're going to do on the podcast?
Yes.
We would love to hear from you guys.
We would love to have a bit of a back and forth, a repartee.
A dialogue.
A dialogue.
I love that.
So we have this new thing.
It's called speakpipe.com slash good guys.
And you can leave a question or if you need advice.
I think advice would be good.
Yeah.
Honestly, anything.
anything just like don't be dumb like don't be come on like just give us good stuff yes i'm not going
to talk about dan schneider okay that's what i'm saying good stuff give us good stuff so go to speakpipe
dot com slash good guys and we'll read one or two an episode and we will play your your recorded message
on the air yes you will be famous and the link will be in the description of the app wonderful well
this is a wonderful podcast got a big big guest coming in a few minutes we do we do like i'm like sweating oh my god
too. It's hot in here. Oh, yeah. No, it has nothing to do with him. I'm just warm.
John Stamos.
Yeah. You teased it. Yeah, that's teased it. Wow. That's pretty crazy.
Yeah, John Stamos coming on the pod because him and Josh are just like besties.
And like, come on. Like your best friends with John Stamos. I can't believe it.
They're like technically I'm like best friends with John Stamos by association.
It's almost as good as having met my dad. Yeah. It's not. Yeah.
Anyway, um, rate us five stars.
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