Good Guys - An Ozempic Super Bowl

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

This week, the Good Guys are guaranteed to make ya laugh... with Ben's what are ya nuts nasty fan DM, dream Super Bowl snack spread debate, and a (hopeful) impending Ozempic sponsorship, the Good Guys have an EPISODE FOR YOU! What are ya nuts?!   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Sponsors: Shop better hydration at Liquidiv.com and use code GOODGUYS for 20% off ANYTHING Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/GOODGUYS Go to HelloFresh.com/goodguys65 and use code goodguys65 for 65% off plus free shipping!   Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Sauffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Look at this. Look at us, Ben.

We're so tech savvy. Like, it's unbelievable. I can't get over it. I can't get over it either. And in case you're wondering why I'm not wearing my glasses, thanks for noticing. It's because there are such incredible shining lights that make my face illuminate. But when those shining lights, reflected off of my glasses. It was the request of my team, aka my wife, to remove them. So I actually

can't see you, but I know that the viewers can see us, which is all that matters. Well, on request from my team, which aka is my mother, I should be taking my hat off because as she says, why can't I see a gorgeous face? I want to see a gorgeous face. I want to see your gorgeous face too. Look, the reality is the lighting in here, you know, I got to say for a dear media production, you know, a podcast studio renowned for their wonderful female forward programming. It's incredible. There's not better lighting in here. I'm sorry, Marshall.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But the bags under my eyes are horrendous. Yeah, see, that sounds like a problem that you need to bring up with your doctor, not with your podcast network. You're a jerk, Ben. Yeah, I am a jerk. I am a jerk. I just realized that I think that the beginning of this video, the arm of my microphone was covering my entire face, but it doesn't matter. We'll keep it in. I'm more just sharing. Do you see me hit the bottom of it and hit me in the face? Is this my first time ever doing this? No, you look good. And you're right. I am. I do need to go get my eyes done. So let me download you because I've done some research. Please. Okay. So there's a famous doctor and ophthalmologist whose name I'm not going to give out because I don't want him to be more. booked in Beverly Hills, and apparently he has done the biggest male names in showbiz's eye

surgery. Wow. And from what I understand, because we can't control this, most people get a little fat pad in the under eyes, maybe they have a little hollowness. I don't know, maybe as Bobby Lee said, I lost weight in my eyes. But nevertheless, he's able to hide the scar so no one knows. He's And I mean, the results are stunning, but you do have to sign on for eye surgery. What do I do? Look, this is a very, very personal choice. If it bothers you enough, I say go for it. Because in the end of the day, all that matters is your happiness.

From my perspective, unlike Bobby Lee, I want you to know that I think that your face looks fantastic. I think your eyes look great. And sure, if you got your eyes done, maybe they would look better to you. But to me today, I think they look great. Here's the thing. I think I have to be, I have to, if I do do it, I can't be secretive about it. I have to be super public because A, if my face changes at all and I don't acknowledge it, I'm going to look like a weirdo.

And B, if by chance he does screw it up, fingers crossed, the level of malpractice suit, I think this is a $100 million fuck up if he doesn't do it right, right? It's actually the risk is not worth the reward. now that you think about it. Yeah, sure, you could sue. Actually, I guess the risk is worth the reward because honestly, you'd prefer him fuck it up and you never need to work again.

A hundred milly, I would just... What do you think that number is for you? Like, what is the insurance policy number? What are they giving you if they take Josh's face and they make him look just terrible? Okay. first of all, I'm terribly vained. So to look just terrible, I'm talking about like maybe I have one eye that doesn't work anymore,

which is fine, right? Because I'll be eye patch guy. I'll figure out a way to dress it up, as long as the rest of my face is still not bad. But if that were to happen, yeah, I think a nice 100 mil, you know, we part ways as friends. A hundred million. I'll do it. I'll do it tomorrow. Really?

You'll give an eye for 100 mil? I don't think I'll give an eye. No. I take it back. Billion? Billion. I don't think I'd give an eye. You know what?

I love playing this game. What would you do? What would you do for a certain amount of money? Nobody's ever asked to take my eye. I don't think that there is a price for taking my eye. There's a price for taking my pinky toe. There's a price for taking my thumb. You want my thumb?

I'll give you my thumb. Your thumb, this is what separates us from primates. I mean, an opposable thumb is the reason why you can grip. It's definitely annoying, but I won't need to grip anything if I'm being fed my food. So my thumb's worth like $2 billion. That's a big, yeah. I mean, the thumb, I dare I say, I think a thumb being gone would impact your life more than losing an eye. Yeah, but I just.

You can't do pull-ups. Thank God. I finally have an excuse. You can't tell people great job. Oh, so true. Honestly, that thumbs up emoji becomes incredibly triggering. Somebody sends it to you like, you're jerk. You knew it.

You knew what you were doing. Don't even think about getting into movie reviews. You knew what you were doing. Wow, that's so interesting. If you are missing a thumb, you're really just out on culture, like thumbs up good like it's just wow terrible no thumb moors no thumb more that's really gonna cast a rough shade on your life i mean yeah you know what and by the way and i hate to call us both out on this but our privilege is showing because let me tell you the reason why we're like 100 mil for an eye

it's because we both and i'm going to speak for you here now feel like there's the potential for us to make that amount of money one day. But you ask like 99% of the world where they're sealing for income and like possible, you know, money earned is so low that they're like, a hundred million.

They'd be like, I'll rip the eye out myself. I bet you, most people. So you know what's interesting? There are two things then that we need to talk about. One is manifestation. I need everybody to manifest

that they can make 100 million because I guarantee everybody can make 100 million. You just got to figure it out. By the way, I haven't even made a million. So you talk about making a hundred million. I'm manifesting it. I'm manifesting it.

I'm going to make a hundred million. And everybody listening to this that wants to is going to make a hundred million. I think that the less money you have, the more you wouldn't want to give up your eye, I think that, again, unless you're in really, like, dire, poor circumstances, I think that there's a difference between the person who is poor versus the person who is, sorry, unhappy and poor versus satisfied and poor and doesn't even realize that they're poor. Does that make sense? Like, I feel like most of the world lives with less money and so appreciates, like, their eyes and their need to see. I don't know if like a hundred million would entice them. Now, if you're just

broke and you're acknowledging that you're broke and you hate your life, sure, I'm sure somebody would sell you their eye. But do you get what I'm saying? I might be getting a little bit too deep, but Well, there is that famous study that somewhere around like 72, like at every moment until around like $80,000 a year, your happiness grows exponentially. Like going from $30,000 to $60,000, like it's a huge happiness jump. Right around like $80,000, your happiness kind of levels out and all the money on top of that doesn't really have an effect. So yeah, because you know it like a base. level and granted like making 80 grand a year this is not gross to say it's just a reality in a place like new york or l a l a it's not a lot of money it's not livable it's not i guess it's not but in most of the

you know that if you're willing to even live 45 minutes out of a major city like that you can have a reasonably nice life and you're you're going to survive like the the assurance of survival i think takes a lot of fear out of your day to day. But nobody wants to survive in New York, you know? Like, you want to survive in the mountains. Like, put me in the mountains and let me survive amongst nature. I certainly don't want to make, like, 80 grand's not livable. I'm sorry, it's just, it's not.

As a grown adult with a family, not livable. Certainly, if you're younger, you have roommates, or maybe you're single and you have roommates, right? Totally livable. You split costs, et cetera. But for a family, it's just not. You'll spend too much time being unhappy. So I'm sure that study is more on states where your dollar goes further.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, no, I think that's true. But you're right. I mean, it's probably impossible. I like to follow on TikTok those like different apartment reviews. Like, this is what you get for $3,500 in the lower east side. And it's, you know, a one bedroom at best. Oh, man, it is nothing fancy.

See, like, it ain't great. And like that right there is, you know, $40,000 of your paycheck every year. Today's episode is sponsored by HelloFresh. With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Look, by now, if you listen to a podcast or you're even, you know, around on this earth, you've probably heard of HelloFresh. And the reason you've heard of it is because it's really dope.

It works. It makes sense. I, Josh Peck, your Uncle Josh. I myself have used Hello Fresh and I find it to be such a great time saving but also like, how do I say this right? Brain saving thing. So much of my wife and I, so much stress comes from like, what are we going to eat for dinner? Who's going to go to the store to get it? Are we picking up? Is that healthy? And Hello Fresh removes all of that worry. Look, remember those New Year's goals you promised yourself you'd stick to? Well, Hello Fresh is here to help you eat best.

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That is hellofresh.com. slash good guy 65 and use code good guy 65 for 65% off plus free shipping. Hello Fresh. It's America's number one meal kit. Speaking of manifesting, I completely forgot to tell you, but it's great because I can tell you here. Tell me, babe. Somebody that works at Target reached out to me.

Remember on the last episode? I said, calling everybody. I want to get Sprit Society in Target. Somebody from Target DM'd me and said, Ben, I listen to the Good Guys. I'm a huge fan. Please send me over your materials on Sprit Society. I'm going to send it to our beverage alcohol contact. So shout out manifestation, shout out Target.

This stuff's real. And Sprit Society's going to take over targets everywhere. Well, you know what? In that spirit, allow me to have my moment. I just want to shout out my dad. I would love to meet him. And hopefully, dad, if you're listening from the afterlife, give me a sign, you know.

make Marshall's chair squeak, Marshall our producer, maybe turn off one of these lights. How crazy would it be if one of the lights turned off? If he just went pitch black? Would have been sick. Or my dad like walks into your Zoom frame. He's like, shit, I'm in Florida.

Holy shit. Quit tapping me on the shoulder. Oh, man, dad. You know, it's funny, I have three siblings, half siblings who I don't know, who I talked a lot about am I poorly named book? Happy people are annoying.

You know, I just love the shout out to the person who wrote the name. You're great, but I'm just going to continue to drag the name. It's not great. Until I feel better about it. Good for you. Congratulations to Jeanette McCurdy.

Anyway, what I was going to say is, like, I have these three. Congrats, Jeanette. We're proud of you. Congrats, Jeanette, on selling the rights to your book to Amazon. for I'm sure just an excessive amount. She did? To a give your eye up amount of money.

Are you serious? I don't know if that's through that. Like, I don't know if I heard that through like industry insider talk and that's public yet, but fuck it. You know what? What the heck? Yes, brother.

Oh my God. The least she could do is like have us on to like talk about. I don't know, like our opinions on the book. Like we'll be in like the opening scene. I don't know. She needs a make good with us. There's a make good needed. It's not even about Jeanette.

God bless Jeanette. I love her. It's more about how we are bent over and took it from her publicist. Like, I just, I mean, it was, it's one for the books. Hi, Josh Ben. I know that you guys spent an incredible amount of time and effort making sure that Jeanette felt really good when you recorded this interview. If you don't mind, we'd like to not run it.

Okay, sure. Have a nice day. Thanks so much for offering. We'll take your deal. How about we never, ever run it? No, we'll take your deal. It sounds like a great deal for us. We'll take it. Oh, man, we really, well, it's good to know. You know what? It's good to know that we learned our lesson. And from now on, we're going to be cutthroat journalists. I was going to say, we're good people. We're the good guys. We really are. If somebody asks us for something, we just do it.

Sure, down the road it'll lead us to being incredibly taking advantage of in certain situations, but more often than not, we have good karma. And that's what matters, karma. The truth is, if we were the great guys, we wouldn't talk about it this much, but we're just the good guys. We're just good. No, we're not great. We're not great.

You're going to do us wrong. We're going to take it. And we're going to stab a knife and we're just going to twist it for 20. episodes in a row ever so slightly just twisting the knife. To close that what I was saying about my book is I talk about these three half siblings who I've never met because I never met my dad but I know they exist and people after reading the book were like very adamant about like well you must meet them now and I was like I don't need any new friends plus I think they're all in their 60s which is like I don't mean to be ages here but you know I I mean I don't know what you

we have to offer each other. So, Ben, your opinion? Money. Maybe they're rich. Like, yeah. You never know. And like, I just got like, you meet them. Maybe they're really rich. And maybe they're so thankful that you, Josh Peck, star of how I met your father and good guys podcast reached out to them in their time of need and they write you into the will. Or maybe I get a piece of my dad's well because he's gone. But I have, I have a right, you know. I'm, I have a right, you know. I'm, 25% of this thing. I would 100% reach out with only financial interests in mind. What do you have to lose? God, it's so tempting. If I could do it without it going public, I mean, it sounds like a storyline from Succession, and I'm here for it. Yeah, I mean, you're just getting what you're owed.

You're just getting what you deserve. And if it honestly sounds like a great, like, sort of rom-com, What's a rom-com without rom? A tragedy. No, but like, what's like, what's like the name of like a, like a, a dromity? A dromity. That's it.

A dromity. Like, it's going to start out. You're going to go. You're going to try to like find them and then sue for what is yours. But then you're going to become best friends with like your brother or sister. And I'm sure that you'll have some sort of love interest. In the, in the end, You'll have gotten all the money, but what really mattered was the relationships that you forged.

I just don't. If the silver lining of all of that is that I forged relationships, I'm good. No, thanks. I hate to be that guy, but I'm just, I'm 36. I'm so busy. Like, I'll have more people to call back. It's worth the risk. It's worth the financial risk.

Just in case, you never know. All right. I'm going to do it for too much time. Maybe hire like a private eye. What's better than that term private eye? Private eye. Private eye. I hire a private eye, have them snap some picks. See what they got on their wrists. Maybe there's a nice roly or automar and that'll give you a hint that maybe there's something worth digging. But if the private eye just goes and they're just wearing old navy and crocs, you can pass. I get really excited. And then we zoom in on the label. on their sweat. I'm like, it's H&M. Fuck. Damn it. It's so wrong.

Josh, we found her, but she's head to toe fashion Nova. I think we can skip this one. Anyone listening to this podcast with anti-Semitic leanings is like, I told you, they're no good. They all think the same way. No, we are good. We're just not great. Yeah.

We're the good and not great guys. We're the decent guys. We're decent. Today's episode is brought to you by stamps.com. Look, this year is flying by. I know it's corny. I know it's tripe, but it's true, right? Like, time is just moving.

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Set your business up for success when you get started with Stamps.com today. Sign up with promo code Good Guys for a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to Stamps.com, click the microphone at the top of the page, and enter Good Guys. Do you have a what are you nuts moment of the week? I do. And it's a DM that I actually waited to read to you.

Oh, yes. That I got from someone that I wanted to talk about. Let me just, let me just find it. How exciting. How exciting? I won't name her name because I'm absolutely terrified of her. But I will read you the Instagram. Okay.

You seem like a terrible person, L.O.L. So glad your and Claudia's quote, career is going south. We know you lost a ton of money and we'll keep on losing, L.O.L. Now, I read this DM to Claudia, to her sister Margo, to Jackie, and that girl sent the exact same message with different, like, slight tweaks to everyone. And my Woody and Nuts moment is this woman follows all of us, follows everything, follows like every subsidiary account, friends accounts,

which means that she's a fan. And I'm almost positive that if I replied, she would say something to the effect of, oh, I never thought that you'd read this, right? Because that's what happens half the time. It's like, oh, I didn't mean it. I was just looking to see if you'd respond. And I just got to say that people need to get off their phones.

if they can't handle being on their phones. Sliding negatively into the DMs is no way of life. Know that on my side, I read it. I didn't lose one second of sleep. I didn't think about it. I didn't care. I read it and I simply felt sorry for you. So what are you nuts?

What are you doing hate DMing people that you don't know about things that aren't factually correct? It doesn't even make any sense. We know exactly what you're trying to do. You're trying to get a reaction out of people. people. I'm sure that he sent it to a million people. And what do you nuts? And the worst part is that I'm sure that she DM'd it to somebody who isn't as strong as me and my family where we read these messages and we don't care anymore because it's just commonplace. But there are people who it would

affect. So what are you nuts? Yeah. I basically my feeling is DM or if if you're writing anything on Twitter, good or bad. But okay, let's just say bad. You're a loser. Loser. You're a loser, a hundred percent loser. And I know that we've like, we're in this culture and like where fandom means that like people have to be so indebted and like at the behest of their fandom for everything and we are nothing without them. And in some respects, that's true. But rules have to be set by the comfortability of the one person on the other side of the fandom, which is you, Ben, which is me, Josh. Like, I heard Louis C.K. was on a podcast, and he just talked about, I'm interested to hear

your thoughts on this. He was on a podcast and he said, you know, I don't take pictures anymore with people. He's like, I just don't do it. He's like, I hate it. He's like, I really, he's like, obviously for most people, it can be a slug. like inconvenience at times, but they just, you know, they accept it because it's whatever. It's a nice thing to do. And if you're able to do it, I believe you should.

I take 95% of photos unless I'm with my son and I don't want him to feel inconvenience. But Louie goes, it really makes me feel awful. So I finally decided not to. He's like, and I got, of course, torn apart by fans and whatnot who were like, how dare you? And he said, you know what I do for my fans? He said, I keep my tickets at 50 bucks. He's like, that's what I do. He's like, when I do Madison Square Garden, when I'm selling for 18,000 seats, he's like, I keep it under 100 bucks a ticket so that you can go.

He's like, and by the way, that's why you don't see my tickets on reseller websites because it's not people who bought it at three, four, 500 bucks and then get nervous because it's an exorbitant amount of money and they want to now flip it for a profit. He's like, the people that buy the tickets go. he's like so to me that's what I give my fans he's like and if you hate me over not taking a picture then I'm happy to lose you as a fan his words what do you think hmm tough one no yeah and I want to go on record saying that I I think Luis CK is hilarious he's a genius not a big fan of what happened with his his stuff no one is no one is he's hilarious separate the stuff from the man he's hilarious I love his stuff. I think that if you're going to profit off of your fans, then if a fan asks for a

picture and you have the ability to take it, it's the nice thing to do. I think also making sure that you have a quick conversation. Again, if you're in a rush, if you're going somewhere, if you have headphones in, these are totally different scenarios. But if you are approached in the airport, maybe you were at Hudson News, getting a three pack of Reese's. Somebody comes up to you and says, you know, stop it right now.

There's no three pack of Reese's, Ben. Two pack. I don't want that kind of lies on our podcast. Two pack. Two pack. A Tupac. That sounds, that's pretty cool.

That should be a brand campaign. But you get a Reese's. Somebody taps you on the shoulder. They say, Louie, I'm a huge fan. I loved you and God knows what. It's like, oh, thanks, man. Thanks so much.

Hope you have a great flight. Mind if we snap a question. quick pick, of course, no problem. Snap, done. I get that it's annoying. I'm sure that on his magnitude, I can't even imagine it because if it's happening to me a Z-list influencer entrepreneur, then I'm sure that to Louis C.K., he's getting just a ton. But I don't know. I'm like, you tell stories about how you'll be annoyed by these things. The reason why you're saying that you're annoyed by them is because you do them. Like, we can still, we can lament it after the fact, but I do think they kind of owe it to your fans who got you to the place that you are

to interact with them and be kind. And again, so that's my personal opinion on it. And then the whole Stubhub thing, I'm not going to lie to you, just sounds like the market for Louis CK tickets isn't that big. That's not how Stubhubb work. Stubhub,

these ticket buyers buy up, honestly, if he's that cheap, he would be Stubhub's golden child because these brsubbub, brokers can go on and buy a hundred Louis CK tickets for $90, flip them to $180, people buy them on Stubhub, and they're making money hand over fist. So I just don't buy the, I'm keeping my retails low for you as a thank you.

Like maybe he's keeping his retails low because he can't command higher retails. I mean, he's selling out Madison Square Garden. It's not the Tempe improv. Like it's, I mean, if you have 18,000 people willing to spend, I think, it's around $100, they probably would spend $200. But, I mean, it's a lot of people. I mean, he's amazing. I mean, he's done stadiums.

He's amazing. I'm just saying, I don't know. I know what you mean. And by the way, he also said, by the way, I don't do that anymore because since I was canceled, I now need to make money. And so, you know, let them, he's like, we're gouging. He's like, we're doing it like, like everyone else does. But he's like, at my height.

That's what I tried to do. Today's episode is brought to you by Liquid Ivy. Guys, I don't mean to brag, but I think you know, like your boy has turned into a beautiful butterfly. But for a long time, it was like a chubby caterpillar. And that's okay. You know, that was my journey. That's my process.

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and made with premium ingredients, and here's one of my favorite things, non-GMO. None of this jokey, jokey fake ingredients thing. It's all good quality ingredients. Grab your liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco. Or you can get 20% off when you go to liquid ivy.com and use code good guys at checkout. That's 20% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code good guys at liquid ivy.com. So my what are you nuts moment of the week is, you know, and I don't mean, you know, I know we have a lot of toasters who listen, so I don't mean to be so damn. Batch, but over the weekend, I went to a MMA, a mixed martial arts event for a company called Bellator, which is kind of like UFC and Bellator, the major MMA kind of promoters.

And it was at the forum in L.A., famous venue. And I go every year because shout out my boy, Anthony, works with them. And shout out Lynn for getting me the ticket. And so I go in and, you know, they treat me. They send me up nice because I'm not going to go. if I'm like, you know, it's a fight, right? So it's really like if you're going to be at like the top of the stadium, it's just not fun.

I'd rather watch it on TV. So I go, I walk in, Jean-Claude Van Damme is on my right. I don't say a word, but I do take a picture of him completely like I couldn't control myself. Like the level of excitement, I just like took a rogue photo of him looking like I was taking a selfie, but I was actually taking a photo of him. And then I walk in with Jeremy Piven, try to make eye contact and have small talk, like, hey, from one, you know,

B-less celebrity to the next, he wanted nothing to do with me, regardless. So we walk in, and I'm sitting there, and I'm watching the fight, and I'm by myself, my wife couldn't come because we couldn't get a babysitter. But I'm having a fabulous time.

So this guy I know sits next to me, his name, Zach Krieger. I think that's how you spell his last name. and he's an actor and how he's a really successful director and we're catching up and here's the thing about me, Ben

and maybe you don't know it. I don't know nothing about Hollywood like actually. Like I'm not in to... You know, my life. Like, it's just not... A, it's not terribly interesting to me and B, I have like two kids

and I'm busy. So I love working in it but I'm not like reading the trades variety, the Hollywood reporter. I don't have my finger on the pulse. It just doesn't interest me after all these years. So we're chatting and we're catching up.

And I'm like, you know, and then of course it always goes to what are you working on? And I'm like, I'm on I, Carly. Don't mean to brag. And I was like, what are you working on? And he goes, well, I'm a director now. I'm done with acting. I was like, bro, I know that feeling. I dream of one day being able to do something like that.

And I'm like, that's great, man, good for you. And he's again, I actually had this movie last year called Barbarian, which I don't know if you heard. heard of this movie, but it was like, and he's just like, yeah, this movie Barbarian and it was like this little kind of indie thriller that wound up getting bought and doing really well and actually just signed a deal for my next movie with Warner Brothers. And I'm like, amazing, dude, like, so great. And so we're chatting more and catching up. And I'm like teaching him about MMA and fighting because I love it. So I'm like giving him all the inside and we're talking,

talking. And somehow it gets back on his movie again. And I go. And he's got like, Like, he's got the energy of a man who just, something really good just happened to him. And almost as though like he was pissed that I was completely unaware of how great it was. And I'll tell you why he probably was right in a minute. So we get back to his movie and I go, he goes, you really never heard of my movie? He's like, it was the number one movie last year. And I go, I was going, tell me the name again. Babylon?

No. No. And he goes, no, not Babylon, which is not great. You know, strike me down. Shout out Damien Chazelle. It's not great. I watch some of it. It's not the best.

I really like Whiplash. He's like, no, barbarian, not Babylon, barbarian. I'm like, I'm so sorry, dude. I'm like, I have two kids. I don't read the trades. I'm on I, Carly. Like, I'm in my bubble. I'm on how I met your father.

And like, I was like, no, man, that's great. Like, that's really, really great. And but so it just continues going until finally, like, I can feel him crawling out of his skin so much that he, like, looks for someone more famous to go talk to because he has, like, other friends at the, at the fight. And I'm like, congrats on Babylon. Barbarian, nice seeing you, man. And he goes off and talks to his buddies.

And I don't mean to paint him. He was, he's always been a lovely, nice guy. And I'm so happy for his success. Anyway, I get in the car at the end of the night. I say goodbye. I don't say goodbye. I just leave. And I, you know, Google his name.

Zach Krieger sells new movie to Warner Brothers for $38 million. It's not even made yet, Ben. It's just the script. Sells it to Warner Brothers. Like, that's going to be the budget. And then I'm pretty sure he's clearing like 10 million. for him. And they say

Jordan Peel so upset that he did not win the auction during the bidding war for Zach Krieger's new movie that he fires his managers. So Zach Mazel on behalf of the good guys'

podcast, I was the wrong guy to be sitting next to with such epic news that had just happened to you. And I'm sorry I didn't give you your flowers. I'm nuts. What are you nuts? I'm nuts. Mazel.

I too have never heard of barbarian. No one has. But that is also because I too am one with my head up my own ass. It is what it is. I'm not, I have not heard of it. I also haven't heard of Babylon, which sounds like a very interesting, like Bible thriller. And I'm sure that it was, it was good.

It's not good. I mean, I'm going to come out and just say it. Like, and it's not the best. And it's huge. It's Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, like massive. It just wasn't the best. But Damien Chesale's a great director. So I've heard of neither of them.

But what I will say is I'd love to have Zach, right? Is his name? Yeah. I'd love to have Zach on the podcast because now that he has $38 million, he can tell us, would he cut off his thumb? for just a little more. Like he's in that echelon of he doesn't really need any more money. So coming from somebody who doesn't need any more money,

we haven't had anybody truly rich on this show. We need somebody with like 50, 38's good, 38 million, 100 million. And I think that we need to figure out what body part would you remove for how much money? That's what I think needs to happen. And of course you can promote your new beautiful movie. but I think that he should come on. We should have you apologize live for not hearing of his movie. And look, congrats to him.

Congrats to him. Am I nuts for that? Is that a one of your nuts? I don't think so, right? You're not nuts at all. You're not nuts at all. It's not. I actually think that it's nuts to assume that everybody has heard of you, no matter how

famous you are. Like that means that you really also have your head up your own house. because even if you're Cristiano Ronaldo, like there are still plenty of people that would look at him and not know who he is. My mom would look at Ronaldo and have no clue who he is. That's a fact. She would think, oh, what a wonderful hunk.

He should really try sports or acting. Yes. But she wouldn't know who he is. The most famous person in the world, not everybody's going to know you. So I do think that it's nuts to assume. that said, an industry guy. No, I think he's nuts.

I think you're nuts. I think you're nuts for bringing it up. But now that we've spoken about it, now we need to have him on the house. It's classic. I mean, literally, I remember they gave you free drinks and popcorn in the seeds we're in. And they were like, do you like a popcorn? He said, yeah, he was housing popcorn. And I think he was like nervous eating the way I would be.

Like, if you called me and they were like, Josh, you're going to be the new Batman, it would be, I would have to be on a double dose of Ozambic, not that I'm on a dose now, because my blood sugar, I would just be fear eating. I would be anticipation eating. It would be sick. Speaking of, just because you brought up Ozambic, I thought of a really hilarious, tell me if this is hilarious, but I think would be a hilarious S&L skit and hopefully they don't steal it. But it's going to be called the Church of Ozempic. And it's basically a cult where you have the people that normally recruit people to like join Christianity going

door to door and they're only knocking on the doors of the morbidly obese and they're opening the door and they're recruiting them to the church of Ozempic to take Ozempic. I don't know if you can picture it, but I think this has big promise. I like the idea. I like anything that has to do with overweight people. I'll be honest. I feel like it's my tribe. They're my people. Me too. As a man that is classified as morbidly obese. I do think that we are, we're a wonderful group of people. We go through the trials and tribulations of life. Everything's just a little bit harder.

And look, on the other end, we typically end up pretty funny. We end up pretty funny. And I believe we're salt to the earth people. And here's why. There's a lot of things, challenges in life that you can hide. But await struggle, you can't. And I talk about it in my poorly named book, Happy People are enough. And it's true.

You can't hide it when you struggle. And that's big, small, and everything in between. Like, it's very apparent to people. And that's, that's another level of challenge.

Yeah. It is. It is. So shout out to all of our fat listeners. We love you. We love you. We are you. I am you.

Josh pretends that he's you. Josh is like cotton like his like old. Josh is not fat whatsoever. I've hugged him. My arms go completely around. He's swelled. Me, on the other hand, I am your ally. I'm here.

I'm here. I'm ally adjacent. Your ally adjacent. You definitely are. You know what? I'm not an ally, but I'm a lookout. You know, like, I'm like, I'm going to alert you like, they're coming. And then you run.

Exactly. Well, you know what? This beautiful podcast, you know, it's going to air the day. after the Super Bowl. Wow. So I think it's now incumbent on all of us to look at the top 10 most popular Super Bowl foods this year. Coming in, do you want to make it a game? Do you want to guess what you think the top five are?

Or let's start at number five. And then... What is the fifth most popular? Does this include dips? It 100% includes dips. I'll even make it easier. It's it's not specific. It's dip and another item.

There aren't specific dips. I think that the fifth most popular Super Bowl item is the spinach artichoke dip. Well, you're wrong. It's cheese and crackers at 50%. God, I just have to say, what are you nuts? I go to your house for the Super Bowl and you give me cheese and crackers. I'm giving you the middle finger and I'm leaving. Yeah, what is this?

A book release party? Where are we? The Rainbow Room? What is this? The release of a book that has a bad title? What is this? A book release party for my poorly named memoir? Happy people are annoying.

Now kind of available on Amazon until they run out and they don't reprint. Oh my God. That's so funny. All right. Cheese and crackers. That's pretty lame. It's super lame. Fourth is it is it, uh, pigs in a blanket?

it. So funny, so Jewish, not even close. It's nachos at 29%. Again, ounces is just not a great sharing food. I've never felt great about sharing nachos. It's such like a, I don't know, it's the same way that I feel about nachos at a bowling alley, right? You're going, you're bowling, you're picking up the nacho, you're putting it in your mouth, you're licking your fingers, you're sticking your fingers in the bowling ball. I don't know. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's just like, it's not an activity. Nachos are for yourself. You want to feel good.

Order nachos for yourself at the bar. You're eating it alone. Nobody else is touching what you're putting. I don't know. How do you feel about shared nachos? I think nachos, it's hard to look like a grown man while eating them. They're just certain dishes in life. Like, if I saw a man having nachos for one, I'd be like, that guy's going to shoot up a bank.

I would say this guy, there's something off in his head because that's, an odd meal to be enjoying by yourself. Nachos for one, the title for my next book. It'll be self-published. You're so right. But then when do you eat nachos? You do, I believe, you eat them in, like, I think a sporting event, eat them at the movies.

But I love a good nacho. And then you eat them at specific, like, if you are going for Mexican food, yeah, like, it's totally appropriate. I love that you said eat them at the movies because that is an indicator that you were once very, very overweight. Because you can't hide the fatness anymore. Only obese people eat nachos at the movies. I have ordered those nachos with the gorgeous cheese sauce that's so liquidy and artificial. But that is not anything that anybody under 300 pounds orders.

Oh, it's a gem. I mean, oh, there's nothing better. And then I got upset because AMC started, they got rid of the machines, and then it was just like a pre-packaged, like Tostitos cheese dip. Not the same. Not the same. No. No. I also like it on my popcorn.

Fabulous. Have you ever done Tabasco on popcorn? No, that sounds delicious. Really good. Do you want to guess what number three is for Super Bowl dishes? Sliders. Pizza at 35%. Again, look, I'll eat it.

It's lazy. It's lazy. These are shit. These are shit Super Bowl parties. Whoever they polled, I'm removing your hosting capabilities. It's been revoked. He can't host.

Okay, number two. I really hope it's a sub, a long sandwich, a foot, like a 30-footer. Chicken wings. Marshall's psyched. Marshall's going nuts back there. Of course, chicken wings, yeah.

But I expected wings to be one, honestly. Really? But I guess one must be sandwiches. It is not sandwiches, and you're 0 for five in this game, but do go back to your first inclination. What was your first question when we started this? What I said first? Spinach artichoke tip?

Well, you said dips, and I tried to push you in the right direction, which is number one. Fondue? Who's bringing fondue? Oh, my God. It's number one is chips and dip. Okay. Let's just talk about this for a second.

Marshall just let out an audible. Ugh. I've never seen him this passionate. I'm throwing a Super Bowl party. I invite you over. Yeah. I told you don't eat anything for 24 hours. I'm putting out the goods.

You come over. I have chips and dip. I have pizza. I have cheese and crackers. I have nachos. and I have chicken wings. I think you're upset. I mean, of course it depends on the level of quality we're talking about.

Like, even getting rid of all those things, if the wings and the pizza are excellent, then I'd probably be pleased. But that leads me to the question, and I think this would be fun for both of us to do, to lay out your perfect Super Bowl spread if we're at Ben Saffer's house. What's your spread and then I'll give mine?

I want you to go first. Okay. I want to hear it. I want to hear it. So we're doing it. a spinach artichoke dip for sure, right? Gorgeous. I want toasted pita points. I want fresh chips.

And like they would do at a Hillstone restaurant, you can't just have that flavor fat bomb from the spinach art of choke dip. You need a really good acidic salsa to help break through some of this. Maybe you're doing an alternating to really cut through that film of oil on your tongue. Next, we're going to do some

hot hors d'oeuvres, pigs and blankets, gorgeous, maybe some, I'm trying to think of nachos, not my thing. Then I think, you know, what I would do is I would do a pizza, but I would do my own version of it. And I don't know what that looks like. Like, it's not pizza rolls. Like, I want to do something more shareable pizza-wise, but here's where I really think the star of it is. because you really, like, we want to believe we can just be gluttoned, but you do need balance. I want a really high-end wings offering. I'm talking hot. I'm talking barbecue.

I'm also talking lemon pepper. And then I want three separate, beautiful salads, like, but like really, really high-end yummy because you need something to break up the level of decadence that's going on here. and maybe even a pasta, some kind of like yummy pasta dish, perhaps. And then I think you got to have like a nice dessert spread, which I think people forget during the Super Bowl. And Percocet. Perkissette. Yeah.

I think that sounds absolutely delicious. Thank you. Absolutely delicious. I would start off, I'm inviting you over for Super Bowl. And no Super Bowl party of mine is complete without. Starting with some sushi. Wow. We're going to get some spicy tuna rolls, some salmon avocados, the classics, spicy mayonnaise.

Again, just something to get your palate started. Then from there, we're going into chips and dip. I mentioned a spinach artichoke dip, as did you. I think a spinach artichoke dip is arguably one of the better dips. It's fantastic. I love it. Agreed with you on the pita points. Fantastic.

Because we brought it up before, I'm bringing in the cheese fondue. I'm having a beautiful fondue. I love a cheese fondue. Nice spigette. Sure, it's heavy. But it's also people are going to leave your Super Bowl party. Like, holy crap, I just went to Ben's and he had a fondue maker. So it also adds an element of pizzazz to the meal.

From there, I'm going into wings, 100% aligned with you. Have to have a couple of offerings. I also appreciate a boneless wing. I know that I might be alone in this, but I really, really love a boneless wing, which I will also admit is just a differently shaped chicken finger smothered in sauce. I'm not trying to pretend that it's real wings because real wing eaters have that problem, right? They're like, it's not wings if it's boneless. Wings are not boneless. Agreed.

They are chicken fingers sometimes sized a little bit differently, smothered in sauce. And I'm okay with that. Maybe a honey mustard, maybe a barbecue, maybe a buffalo with a blue cheese or ranch dipping sauce. From there, I'm going to skip your salad. I'm going to skip your pasta. No Super Bowl party for me is complete without a sandwich. A big, beautiful meat, cheese. You can't even go tuna if you want to.

It's a gorgeous sub. If I was Italian and I ate all of those pork products, all I want is that Italian sub, that prosciutto, that mortadella, all that. The mutts, et cetera. Muts. Big, gorgeous roll, maybe a 30-5. footer. But for me, on the Jewish side of town, I'm getting a 30-foot roll. I'm putting pastrami. I'm putting grilled onions. I'm putting Russian dressing. I'm putting coleslaw. Pickles sandwich.

Gorgeous. Wow. And then, of course, for dessert, I'm with you. Maybe a hot fudge brownie or an apple pie warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. You know what I'm thinking? Because we're in New York, obviously. You go down to like Vineros, like one of these great, great Italian bakeries, and you do about 200 bucks in the mini canolies, mini rainbow cookies, mini aclares, the mini lobster tails, like you really, those things, I mean, we just don't have them out here in L.A., and I dream of them. Have you ever been to Anthony and Sons Panini shop in Brooklyn? Very famous Panini shop. My friend Sabino and his father owned the place, fantastic establishment, really like the gold standard for Italian delis.

I called him up in a bind last year, maybe two hours before the Super Bowl. Only I have binds like this. Sabino. Sabino, I need a 30 foot roll. I need it. He says, Ben, 30 feet. What are you nuts? Who are you making the sandwich for?

I have 10. That'll be good enough, right? I said, yes. I don't know how I would have transported my 30 foot roll anyways. It doesn't fit in a car. And the more I think about it, it was a crazy ask. But I went to him. He gave me a 10-foot roll just like that.

He just had one, gorgeous, freshly made, brought it home, made my sandwich. But shout out Anthony and Sons Pinini shop. Josh, next time you're in the city will go. Fantastic place. Fantastic. They got me out of my breadbind. I want to go to New York and do a day of eating with you with an Ozembic IV attached. like just roll it around on like on wheels and I just want an ozambic trip going into my veins.

But I want to be able to eat. I just wanted to like, you know, get rid of all the bad stuff. Yeah, it's going to be hard. It's a suppressant. They've heard it's a suppressant. That said, they killed their marketing commercials. Even it's so funny, even before this like craze around ozempic, you know the commercial because they have an amazing commercial.

I do know the commercial. Oh, Ozempic. Yeah. It's gorgeous. Ben, take us out. This has been an unbelievable podcast. I think that the truth is, video is just better. Even when it's semi-virtual video,

I'm sure people will be able to see from the different backgrounds who are not actually in the same room. But we kind of are. And I really feel like we were in the same room. So an unbelievable episode, spending time with you. talking about the jab, talking about the Saudis, talking about bad book titles. Just an unbelievable experience. If you enjoyed it as much as we did, please feel free to give us five stars.

Just like if you got an Uber driver, he didn't talk to you, he played the music you wanted and he turned up the air conditioning. You'd give him five stars, right? You wouldn't give him 4.8. You wouldn't give him 4.5. You'd give him five, right? So give us five, wherever you listen to your podcasts. Again, I cannot confirm or deny where the podcast is actually streamed. Maybe you can get it on Stitcher.

Maybe it's on I-Heart. Maybe it honestly would just do me a service to just know where the podcast is distributed so I can actually talk about where you can listen to it. But for now, I'm only positive that it's on Spotify and that it's on Apple. If it's syndicated anywhere else, you are going to have to let me know. Where else, Marshall? Wherever you get your podcast, wherever you get your podcast were even implanted in elderly people's hearing aids.

See, that's good. Thank you. That's good. So yeah, five stars, rate, review, and subscribe. We're the good guys. Thanks so much for listening. But we're not the great guys. Please, rate and review. If you love us, and then we'll do a Patreon because, well, I was going to say we're going to do it for you, but we love money. And then when we get our viewers up enough, we're going to stop giving this to you for free. And we're going to turn it paid. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.