Good Guys - Barb’s 82nd Birthday Bash

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

With July 4th around the corner, the guys break down their perfect holiday menus, from burnt hot dogs and pasta salad to elote, cowboy caviar, and Josh's mother-in-law's legendary noodle dish. Ben unveils his controversial hot dog order, Josh celebrates his mom's 82nd birthday (and the tragic melting of a Carvel ice cream cake), and the guys debate whether filming fireworks should be illegal. Plus: RV fantasies, men's biggest "icks," why Ben can't pull off cologne, a woman who spent $50,000 marrying herself, and one absolutely unhinged father-in-law who used a baby's crib as a luggage rack. What are ya nuts?! Love ya! Write us! Send your messages to [e-mail]  Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: If you’re looking for a better way to season and prepare everyday meals, you really need to try Diamond Crystal® Kosher Salt, a chef trusted, additive free salt made with light, flaky crystals for easy control, available online and nationwide at your favorite stores like Target, Kroger, Albertsons and more. Go to resortpass.com/goodguys and use code GOODGUYS for $20 off your first booking of$100 or more. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to Quo.com/goodguys To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED visit Hims.com/GOODGUYS Support your gut health and overall performance with Momentous’ Fiber+ and get up to 35% off your entire first order at livemomentous.com, promo code goodguys. Join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/goodguys Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys. We're not the great guys. We're just so good a good guy.

Mazurons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. Josh, we are coming up on my favorite holiday of the year. Okay, I know we're still, yes, it's my favorite holiday year. No question. America's independence, okay? I love a firework. I love a hot dog. And let me tell you, I live for July 4th.

Do you live for July 4th? I love it. It's a really, I like holidays without presents. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's good. even though the present could be a good sale.

Perhaps you're looking for a new car, Josh. They have lovely July 4th auto sales. So while it's not exactly a present, they're trying to still give you a couple of shekels off. You know what? I have, look, I have an auto broker now. He's a very legitimate Armenian man named Vahe. Shout out Vahe, GMSLA, on Instagram.

And the deals are year-round. They're year-round. Shout out Vahe. It's so interesting. Are they actually deals? People are like, okay, this is a, Memorial Day deal, a Labor Day deal. Are they really deals, Josh?

Or every day of the, or every other day of the year are people just getting fucked? This is what's been revealed to me. If you can wait, the car you want will always have a deal and or if you want a deal, you have to be, what's the word, the word? You have to be not agnostic about your car choice. Because there's always a deal going on. Why? Because there's always a car that the autumn.

Motive company cannot move. These cars have been sitting on the lot. They want to move them out because there's a new model coming in. So that's when we pounce. That's when we move. You want a new Mercedes GLC 300. Right now, not a sponsor, should be. You're going to get that for between $200 and $400 a month with $3,000 down right now.

Call Vahe. I don't know why I keep pitching Vahe. I do not get any money to them. Wow, that's a great deal. Oh, the GLC happens to be Mercedes most sold car. It is. Mercedes, what's up? That is a great deal.

And if you come over to Good Guys Auto on the corner of Sanford. It's my dream. Right? Right? Yeah. Oh, my God. And you know how like when they go, you know what? Let me go back.

Let me work on the numbers and we'll try. That's when we start peppering them while we're in the other room. All of a sudden, good guys subs comes in. Like let me get you a little sandwich or something while you're waiting. oh, we just haven't have our own sub shop. It's right there. It's literally that's what makes a great experience. You're coming, you're shopping for a car,

but all of a sudden we're giving you a beautiful sandwich. Okay, food, food, back to July 4th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you doing? What are you doing and what are you eating? Okay, so my mother-in-law throws a party every year. It is my son's favorite, favorite day of the year. Why?

Because we have a giant slings shot that shoots out water balloons that they shoot over their neighbor. and do not care what happens. And my in-laws, my family in general, are wonderful, law-abiding, rule-following people that are as classy as classy gets. And on this one day, they fucking let it lose. We had to talk this woman off the ledge last year

from not calling the police on us. She's like, are you nuts? You're shooting water balloons all over the street. We're like, get over it, lady. You're only 90. So, yeah, my mother-in-law makes a famous Asian noodle salad, but she makes it with these hearty linguine. noodles. Are you staying with me here?

I'm staying with you, but talk me through it. Talk me through it. Imagine a beautiful peanut, sesame oil type, you know, lo-main type noodle dish, but serve cold, fresh, fresh, fresh veggies that haven't been cooked to death like a typical chalming. I'm talking fresh bell peppers. I'm talking there's carrots. There's cabbage. It's gorgeous. Then this peanut butter sauce, beautiful, crisp, good. Then they do their famous pasta salad. Two pastas. Great. The famous pasta salad.

Now this, we're talking about mayo. We're talking about Balman. Oh, that's for something else. We're talking about mayo. We're talking about olives. We're talking about pomeptos. Heard of them. Salt and pepper, okay?

And then we're going to chill that down. Okay, two different cold pasta salads. Then we're doing the dip. The O'Brien family, famous dip. Okay? This is cream cheese. This is mayo. This is celery.

This is Balman seasoning. Is that right? Belmont? Sure. Sure. I don't know. I think Balmahn is a couture. I think Balmonde is a couture, but I'm down.

But Balmonde seasoning. Maybe, what could be with a B? B, but a bit, but, but, Bur, no, I don't know. This is, you know what? If my wife hears this, these are the things that upset her. Let's call her. Okay.

This is important. Ask her what the real seasoning is. What is it? Okay. She's with us. I can already, she's going to be, let's, I'll be able to tell from her, hi, if she's upset or not. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. You're live on the podcast really quick. Just wondering. The famous Spurbeck family dip. This is, the seasoning is Balman. Beaumon. Beaumont. Gotcha. Thank you. Balmonde is a couture's company in case you're wondering. Oh, yeah, I'm well aware. Mom, thank you, bye. She's not going to be pleased.

And she answered the phone. She was in great mood. And now you ruined her day. Beaumont. Okay, I got to try Beaumont. I don't even, I've never even heard of it. It's wonderful seasoning. And then you're doing that, of course,

with the elite of all Fritos, the Frito scoop, a heartier Frito, a bigger surface area, Frito. The best. And then you're doing dogs, you're doing barbecue chicken, a craplode, you're doing fun little desserts, and just like a lot of different dips. You're doing a seven-layer dip. I mean, but those are the staples. You?

Josh, that sounds absolutely wonderful. I'm doing something similar. I'm making probably either a Mexican street corn or we're taking it, cutting it off and making it into like one of those street corn, like niblets. You know, you can keep it on the cob or chop it or. cut it off and make it into like a beautiful street corn. I love that. Some elote. I lotte.

Elote, exactly. Cowboy caviar. Huge fan. Yeah. Love it. Big. Again, frito scoops would be fantastic. Sometimes we use just regular toostitos.

And then we're just big barbecuers. We're talking about a beautiful barbecue chicken on the grill. We're talking about burnt hot dogs. My family loves a burned dog. I like them just before burned. But my God, taking a potato bun with a hot dog. I go a little crazy. My sister-in-law Jackie,

Huge hot dog fan. She loves Dijon mustard and sourcrow. For me, you're going to call me crazy. I know you're going to call me crazy. It's okay. I'm fine with being crazy. I go, potato bun, hot dog, diced onion, coleslaw, diced pickles, and Russian. Elite, elite, and I know it sounds crazy.

I'm willing to try it. Elite, okay? And if you want a little acid, you could still throw in a little yellow mustard or Dijon elite, okay? I love a burger. Boy, do I love a burger. I love barbecues in general. We're going to be by a pool, okay? We're going to be in the beautiful Hamptons.

And let me tell you, buy a pool, dog in hand, a skinny sprit society, my whole family there, and then we're going to watch some gorgeous fireworks. I love fireworks, Josh. I love them. I do. I think that if, and I'm just going to jump right now to my what are you nuts. I'm not going to do it later, Josh. If you film fireworks,

you don't deserve to have a phone. That's right. What are you nuts? Fireworks are an experience for you. You in the present moment, nobody ever was shown a video of fireworks and said, oh my God, that's amazing. Because they don't give a shit.

You're never going to go back and look at your fireworks. Right. You won't even give a shit. It's in the moment Be present with your fireworks What are you nuts I couldn't agree with you more I think filming in general

Like you were at the insane nick game The other day where they came back From 29 points down at the half How many people were filming every second And not just living in the mom Everyone and I'm so fortunate That I was with my videographer Claudia was filming a lot

For she launched an amazing Patreon vlog Like vlogging the whole day She was filming I didn't have my phone out once Not once because what am I supposed? I'm there to live it. If I want to film it, I can watch it on TV. Like what's the difference?

Somebody else is going to film it. In the age of phones, somebody got the shot. Right. Somebody got it. If it's a fan, they're going to post it on Twitter. If it's the broadcast, they're going to get it. You don't need it. It's like when we had a birthday party for Ruby.

And my mom loves pictures. I mean, everybody loves pictures. But my mom's always like, make sure we get this, make sure we get that. And I looked at my mom. I'm like, I promise you, there's a professional photographer here. You're going to get the best pictures ever. We don't need to take them on your phone.

Whatever we're going to take on your phone is going to pale in comparison. And boy, was I right. These pictures came out gorgeous. But yeah, just live in the moment. Enjoy the moment. Somebody's going to take a picture for you. If you have good friends and family around you, you're going to get a picture. Now, when you told the beautiful Ava this, did she submit?

Did she go? Yes. I trust you, my son? She did. She did. Right. Because God bless my mother. I would have heard, you know, I get so little.

That's tough. Yeah. You know, I ask so little of you. You know, I have such little joy. And here you go. You know, the cleanup crews here, cleaning up my joy, you know. I have such little joy. Yeah.

Oh, my. What do I ask, you know? I shout up, Barb. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Quo. Folks missed calls and slow follow-ups are silent killers. That's how businesses leave money on the table without ever even realizing it. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, spelled QUO, the business communication system built so you never miss a call.

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Hymns is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatrus. I actually made a 20-hour day trip to the Great Florida where my mother lives for her 82nd birthday. God bless her. Happy birthday. Yom Huleta Samach. Did you listen to the Stevie Wonder version or the regular? So it was a wonderful time. We just sing a regular song over a Costco cheesecake, of course,

because my mom, who is the classic of all classic, what did she want for her cake? But a Carvel ice cream cake because she knows what's up. Elite, elite, that's what it is. And by the way, the best part about it is no other cake is it appropriate to keep. Right. There's no other cake that is appropriate to keep. You get a full-blown cake.

You put that cake in your fridge, fat ass. How fucking fat are you that you kept your sheet cake in the fridge, fatty, okay? An ice cream cake, Josh, you can keep that and not be called fat. And you can eat it every single day for the next one day or week, depending on how quickly you eat it. That delicious, yummy cake with the Oreo crumble and the marshmallow eat. Oh, I love Carvel. So good. Are there any Carvels in Los Angeles?

There is. There's one Carvel on Santa Monica Boulevard shout up, but I'm a huge fan of the Carvel Enterprise. Me too. I love a Carvelanche. It's delage. Their whale thing. But the one, you know, the one, ain't no, what's the phrase? Like, ain't no stains in my game. It looks like, sure. Sure, that's a phrase. Ain't no stains in my game.

Ain't no stain in my game. And game is my code word for underwear. Underware. Same thing. So my mom gets a beautiful Carvel cake, which is a 10 out of 10. But then as the party starts, she goes to, The woman who was helping her set up for the party, she goes, take out the kank.

And go, ma, people aren't here yet. It's an ice cream cake. She goes, it's not good hard. By the way, she's right. Right. But two hours later. That's a problem. That's a problem.

It has melted into the table. Yes. And this lovely aide woman who would, was helping her, like, takes me over the side. She goes, that cake is finished. She's like, I feel terrible. I said, get out the Costco cheesecake and start singing, row. Oh, my God.

But God, does my mom know how to throw a party? She had the wonderful Goldbelly shout out. We love Goldbelly. I keep trying to do a partnership with them. They have no interest. But my mom ordered in East Coast Sloppy Joes from like New Jersey. You know, you know this East Coast Sloppy Joe's? No, but sounds unbelievable.

So instead of the typical, you know, like, you know, chop meat or like hamburger meat and like kind of a tomatoy barbecuey sauce on like a bun, right? That's how most people know Sloppy Joe's. That's how I know Sloppy Joe's. So the New Jersey, New York version of it, and it's clearly more of a spruce. specific to maybe Jerseyites is it's like a club sandwich on white bread, right? So there's like roast beef, turkey, then you'd love this. Roast beef, turkey, Kosslaw on a triple-decker sandwich and then just doused in Russian.

Oh, okay, and they call that. Yeah, I mean, that's a fantastic, fantastic sandwich. But it's not a club sandwich. No, we call it, I think, an east cider. It might be the name. That's really, that's turkey, Kohl'slaw Russian. No, that's, it's elite. I've never heard that called a sloppy Joe, though.

But that's an unbelievable sandwich. Unbelievable. So she gets trays of this. Yes. There's trays of beautiful dip. Ruggala that she got from Goldbelly, beautiful Jewish dessert. And then, and this one was the one fringe one that I was like, damn, mom, you really know how to get real specific with this order.

Because obviously, who was there? but a bunch of old Jews. She goes, guess who the secret guest is? Who, ma? She goes, I ordered Kishka. Where did she order the Kishka from? I have no idea. And I love that she positioned it as a special guest.

The Gentiles listening for those who are aware, Kishka is a Jewish peasant food of cow intestines, spices, mixed with potato flour. And it's pretty fucking fantastic. I'm not going to lie. I'm all in on all of it. Maybe it's just because it's how I was raised. It's so good. And usually gravy on top, right? Yes, delicious.

It's Delege. So that was a special guest, but we had the best time. God bless her at 82. She's as wonderful and, you know, crushing it as always. And it was, you know, very nice to see her. And so a shout out. It was a Bab special. Oh, I have to, I haven't met her.

I have to. I have to. I have to. I don't know when. I'm just putting it out there. I'm available. It'll come. It'll happen.

I'm trying to think of was there any more isn't. You know, she lives at a beautiful senior independent living. So she likes to introduce me to the staff. And she, you know, she was like, and, you know, you find it kind of is like a slow sort of line of people that help her in the most beautiful senior way. She goes, this is Roe. He brings my Wi-Fi in. I go, I think Wi-Fi is everywhere.

You know. Oh my God. But yeah. That is so good. Are you taking any trips this summer? Like, do you guys have anything planned? So I'm trying to think of, you know, we don't. But the thing about it is that I am turning 40 in November.

And so I keep wanting to maybe go for a couple of days to my favorite place, Vancouver, with my wife and kids. But during the school year, it's tough, right? Because you really, in public school especially, you're only allowed a certain amount of absences before, like, the superintendent calls you. And so I'm thinking, like, maybe we should just go up there. Like, I mean, Vancouver's way more beautiful in July than it is November.

Like, maybe we just go up for a couple of days. I don't know. We'd like to. Max is in mad camps. I'm going to be working a lot, so we'll see. And you really don't want to throw a birthday party? No. 1,000% for 40.

For 40, you don't want a birthday party. No. Okay. Then your wishes will be respected. What? You working behind the scenes? I'm just saying if you really don't want a birthday party, then you don't have a birthday party. But I'm just saying birthday parties are really fun, especially when they're for real birthdays.

I get it. You don't want a 39th birthday. party, okay? You probably don't even want a 35th. You want a 30th, you want a 40th, you want a 40th, you want a 50th. You want a 60th, a 65th because we're celebrating being able to take all of these government benefits. Yeah.

Like, these are 40s, a beautiful birthday. Just think about it. But regardless, I like the trip, the Vancouver trip. It's wonderful. Do you guys ever do any road trips? Are we roadies? We need to. We need to get a big Ford expedition or something.

I think that's going to be our next car, so we can really, because now that we have three kids, three car seats, like if we had a proper people mover, I think that would be a game changer. I'm so happy you brought this up. I just for maybe a month ago, I got a GMC Denali. Yukon, yeah. For two weeks. This Denali, fantastic. Oh, yeah.

Fantastic. I loved it. I guess it's very similar, if not the same, to a suburban. but there was something about Denali. I felt Italian. It was white. It was amazing.

I loved it. Such a great big car has some good pickup. Nothing. I am absolutely spoiled by this M-Class-7 X-7. Nothing feels as good as stepping on that pedal and revving. Maybe you can get a V-8 in one of these. I would bet you your Denali's a V-8. It didn't have the,

same pickup. But let me tell you, it was a beautiful, beautiful, spacious car. Huge. I loved it. Yeah, it's all those, you're talking about the GMC Yukon, Donali, the highest end trim package of their Yukon series. We're talking about the Chevrolet suburban high country, the highest end packaging. We're talking about the Ford Expedition, platinum, the highest of trims. I love cars. I love a high trim. And an escalade. Thoughts on an escalade? Sick. The escalate IQ, I had it for two weeks. Say, let me drive it. It's sick.

Sick. I think I know it's such a pretty penny. I think you need one. It is such a pretty penny. The great, my east, my West Coast Ben, Len, my best friend has it. It's gorgeous. I'm so happy for him. He deserves it. The only thing that killed me was when he, he bought it. He was like, yeah, bro, but she needs new shoes. I said, what the fuck did you just say? He got new wheels? He needed new wheels. He's like, the wheels just ain't it.

Now, I will say that the wheels he put on it are absolutely sick if you're Shug Night. No. They're sick. But don't ever call them shoes. Oh, my God. I would say my car needs new booties. My greenie's new sandals. Oh, that's good.

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Diamond Crystal Salt Company available, really everywhere. Target, Albertsons, Home Foods, Kroger, you name it. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Momentus. Folks, you know, we love Momentus here at the Good Guys podcast. They're creatine, my dad's favorite, let me tell you, their products are all fantastic. And when I heard, okay, when I heard they had this new beautiful product called Fiber Plus, let me tell you I was excited because we all need more fiber. Fiber is the key. Fiber keeps you feeling full longer. Fiber is it. Fiber helps with those big, beautiful

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I want to get an RV, Josh. What do you think about that for me? You know, I went RVing with John Stamos for his 50th. You did. Oh, should we do that for your 40th? Get an RV? No. RV, first of all, you need to.

No. He was smart enough to do it right and get us a driver who we were friends with, who was from the transport department of our TV show. So he's like a professional driver and can handle it. But, you know, the whole thing was not, it was just wasn't necessary. Like I think we would have had. much fun. It was cool going to a camp. The first night we went to a campsite and slept in the RV, which was like kind of cool and fun. But the next night we went to a hotel, like, I think we

could have had just as much fun going to San Francisco and a beautiful Ford Expedition Platinum. Yeah, I guess like the, the benefit of the RV is kind of lost when you can afford hotels. Like what, what's the, like, what's the purpose? Like, the purpose is, like, the purpose is sleeping in it. It's other RV people. It's the RV park. Sure, it's the community. Okay.

The RV community. Okay. I respect that. I just always, since seeing the critically acclaimed RV with Robin Williams, I've always wanted to be in an RV. I don't know. It just seems fun. Fun just like sleeping on the road, traveling up through Arizona, getting into

Vegas, California, I don't know. Just like a West Coast RV trip. It seems fun. Maybe I start in New Mexico. You know, I'll say the thing about myself that I know you've wanted to say for a long time, but you hold yourself back. Like, my life would be way more fun if I did drugs.

And it's always top of mind. Like, I always, like, when I see, like, train trips or, like, even like when I, you know, on TikTok, I'll, my algorithm will be, like, those people with those insane sprinter vans. right and they like have it beautifully built out with a bed in the back and like a TV and it's so cool and I'm like if I like could do that with like a like a hard seven girlfriend and Vicodin in a Walmart parking lot like that sounds awesome smoke a blunt and just yeah with my seven me and my seven that's a great song yeah great country song me and my seven.

Yeah. She brings me to heaven. Yeah. Or, you know, you have a threesome with like two, three-point-fives. You know? Yeah. By the way, that's more than a seven. That brings it up to an eight.

Yeah, you round up. Now, tell me what you're thinking. And I know that sometimes I need to do better. Like, I think the reason I don't like a party is, I love what Sebastian Manascalco said of, like, if I could go to Cabo with like for three days, but all my friends have kids, right? And so it's really hard to get everyone there.

But like if I could go with Len and his wife, Michelle, and you and Claude and do that for three days, like, that I would be really into. Because we'd really get to bro down and enjoy and, like, enjoy each other. And the girls would have a great time. And my issue with parties is I'm so alcoholic that if you flew in and a few other friends, I came and I've got like 50 or 60 the people I love most in one room, I would be devastated that I didn't get enough time with you. I understand. That's the thing is like when I'm with people,

I really want to enjoy them. And parties feels like you never get enough time with everyone. And you sort of wind up kind of cornering off with a couple people for the majority. What do you think? I think you've brought up something in the beginning of that I've never really thought of. as somebody that's been sober for 17 years, have you found a way to enjoy a party? Or is it not easy for you to enjoy parties?

Because I'm not a sober person by any means, but I do drink significantly less than I once did, just because I think my life's, like my, the stage of life that I'm in. And like, I can go to a party and not drink at all. And I, it's different fun. Like that old version of fun where you want to stay out until four in the morning. Sure, now it's truncated to two hours.

But I can still have a different version of fun. Can you have fun? Yeah, I can certainly have fun within the way I have fun, like within the way I navigate it, right? Yes. I'm probably going to let myself vape. I'm probably going to let myself bum a siggy. Yeah.

And yeah, I can get around. When I don't, if I can find my ways in, where I won't have fun is at a place where it's incredibly packed and it's so loud that I can't do this, right? Like when you and I go to the great, what's it called? What method? Live method. When we go to the great live method in New York and we spend an hour schvitzing and going to the cold plunge and then maybe we get a bite after, like to me, that is like,

peak living. Agreed. Because the conversation we're going to have in the Schwitz is probably better and more raw than anywhere else we would have a conversation. It's 10 times better. But so for a party, I'm just thinking if you were to have a party, thoughts on you get a performer.

Is that a party that you're interested in? No, even more because you're not connecting. We're watching. But we're watching together. Something really fun. It doesn't do it for you. Okay, I understand.

It would have to be a knockout, like, something I couldn't afford. Or like the people who are, this is the other thing that kills me is when... You couldn't pull strings and get the beach boys? Oh my God. That's not a string. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. You could.

You could. I'd have to ask their tour manager, my mom, Barbara, if they were available or they were going to be at the dining hall. with her. Shout out the beach boy. Shout out my glove. Yeah, I don't know. I think it would be cool to experience something like that. But I'd rather have it be like really corny, like a terrible magician.

I understand. For me, like my dream party is I invite a hundred people I love and force them to listen to an hour of all American rejects. Like you've done that. But I haven't done that live actual All-American rejects. Like that's what I want. I want to wait until their, their stocks probably still a little bit too high. I want it to drop a little.

I want to grab them for 50 grand when I can afford it and have everybody come and listen to an hour of dirty little secrets and move along. I live for that shit. And I live for me and you sweaty together, hugging, dancing. Like, it's not conversation, but knowing that everybody around me is having fun is a present to me. I don't know why that is, but I love that. I love it.

I did, I don't remember what birthday it was. I rented a backroom at Second Avenue deli. This was a great birthday party. That was your 32nd. 32nd, I invited like 30 friends. We drank and we ate pastrami. Like that's, that was a great birthday. Yeah.

So fun. But, yeah, the Cabo piece, a couple couples going away, sounds really, really fun, really fun. Drilling in. Should we get to a weird story? Yeah, please. What weird shit is going on in the world? Well, a comedian claims women's biggest icks and turnoffs stem from one thing men usually do.

It has them running for the hills. Some of the biggest icks that turn off women all involve one thing men do. runs with their backpack bouncing, chasing a ping pong ball. Anything running seems to be a moment where men show their unfuckability. Comedian Jared Freed told the post. Wow. Shout out, Jared. I, honestly, you're so right with the backpack. Running with a backpack on, it's tough.

It's tough. Backpacks in general, there's so much sweat that pools between the backpack and my back. I really can't wear them on nice days. I could wear them in the cold. But I have a backpack, but I use it actively. I love my backpack. I don't know if people are looking at me and thinking, my God, he's less fuckable when he runs in his backpack.

But yeah, that makes sense to me, Josh. They're doing it too. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. Tell me this, because, like, I'm not willing, I think the most masculine thing you can have is like a really high-end duffel bag, like a beautiful, without like,

not super monogrammed, but like an understated Louis Vuitton duffel bag uh, Mesaun Veneta, um, something like super, super nice. Like that's masculine and cool. What else like I'm not, I'm not carrying a fucking briefcase or an adage. I'm not wearing a messenger bag.

I'm definitely not wearing a crossbody. Get, get fucked with. Fuck you crossbody. Fuck you. Never. No, no, super gay. I wonder you were in. person with Sebastian Manascalco last month.

What did he, what did he smell like? I don't think he smell like anything. I just, I, I, I look at him and I really do think he probably has that gorgeous duffel. For sure. He's always so clean, takes care of business. And I would have thought that he would have smelled really good. I think that's another thing with just like a really masculine man has. a great, great smell.

Great smell. They also have a perfectly fitted button down. This is not like a schlubby, me. I bought it at Ralph Lauren off the rack. It almost seems custom. Tight, but not too tight. Fitted, tucked in, belt. Smells great.

Duffel. Jacket. that's peak that's peak Josh yeah handkerchief do you wear a could you wear a scent ever always every day always you do what do you wear there's a couple men bottom lines I think a man should have a scent I think a man should always have cash yes and um I think they should always be on top uh I uh I wear too what you should always be ready to take it in the ass and if they're going to be a bottom they should stay quiet about it. I like, for my whole life I wore Eve St. Laurent

Lom Nui, so like the black cap one, beautiful scent, still wear it to this day. But now I also wear, uh, use two different Joe Malone scents that I kind of swap in and out. A scarlet poppy, my rap name, and also Ud and Begamon. I like that one too. Shout out Joe Malone. I've never been able to get into cents.

I've bought them. I always wanted to be a guy that wore creed. I smelled guys that were creed. You told me that. And I was just like, I want to be a creed wear. I'm not. It's just not me. I can't, I can't.

I can't pull it off. And every scent that I've gotten, it just like, it doesn't smell like me. Do you understand what I'm saying? Sure. Like, it smells like that guy, that peak masculine, that guy. And he's awesome for him. Me? I smell like me.

I don't know what me smells like. So I'd love to eventually find a scent that smells like me. But I fear that that might be tuna fish. It could be. That'd be kind of hot. I just imagine you putting on Creed and you just all of a sudden hear like, let's go there. Let's make our mistakes.

Come on. Let's go there. Let's lay down the scent. Let's lay down the scent. By the way, that's a commercial. Right? Yeah, that's a fucking commercial. Creed, give him credit, and go hire Creed and lay down the scent.

And take, and take me higher. That's it. Can the scent take me higher? It's so good. Oh, Creed. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Resort Pass. Such a genius idea. Look, folks, no overnight stay and no membership fees are required to access luxury hotel pools, spas, cabanas, you name it.

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It doesn't matter which one you're paying. It stings every month. Ooh, that hurts. But built can make it feel a little bit better. Let me explain. Built started out rewarding members on their rent. Now as of 2026, built members can also earn points on mortgage payments wherever they live. Every housing payment earns you points you can use towards flights with top travel partners

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Any more weird news? Yes. Why I spent $50,000 to marry myself after being cheated on by jerky men. Bonnie Lockett's had a bit of bum luck and love after enduring back-to-back infidelity and romantic relationships. That left her depressed and nearly suicidal. The model, who has run a lucrative only fans account for six years, decided to make one last commitment to herself. Instead of wallowing and self-pity, she got into a $20,000 designer wedding dress and said, I do to the woman staring back at her in the mirror. I made the biggest commitment that anyone can make to myself, Lockett 38, an England native who lives in Abiza said to the post and said, marry me, wedding

I said, marry me at her wedding on Friday, May 30th. It was one of the best days of my life. She had handwritten vows and a $27,000 pair-shaped, three-carat yellow diamond ring to slip onto her own hand. Clearly a lab diamond cheaped out on yourself. Did we bunny log? What was the post doing in Abiza? That's what I want to know.

I know. She looks like Corinna. Okay, good for her. I mean, I feel like that's like, that's like the only fans archetype. Oh, are we friends with her? Never mind. No, you can say that. We are, but you can say that.

Only fans archetype. Yeah, she crushes it. By the way, you want to throw a party for yourself? I just spoke about how much I love parties. Great. That's what you did. You threw yourself a birthday party. I've been an amazing one.

I love it. Right. Right? Self care. I'm all in. I'm all in, Josh. I'm all in. It's fine. Okay, what's the next one? Teen steroid use is down, the concerning booster they're using instead. Steroid use is down among teenagers, but experts warn that young people are replacing it with a potentially dangerous booster. Researchers from the University of Michigan found that while anabolic steroid use among teens has significantly decreased over the past two decades, creatine use is surging. I did this study, given the rise in social media, media trends that glorify toxic gym culture, along with the rise in looksmaxers, said study author Philip Veles. Looksmaxing is when young men take extreme measures to improve their appearance.

What the hell? They're going after creatine? I think that's better than wind stroll. 100%. And did you see, like, you know I love AG1. I know you love AG1. Did you see their new product, Josh? No, what they're launching?

AG Pro. AG Pro with fucking 5 milligrams of creatine in it. Wow, I like that rebrand. I like it a lot. Is that fucking amazing? That's hot. It's everything AG1 plus creatine.

Yeah, I don't know what you're doing coming after creatine. The great Bruce Sopper takes creatine and let me tell you, he loves it. He's also hitting the gym three days a week, though. This man is my idol. What an absolute unit?

He's become a unit. He really has. Well, did you know that there's a new disorder linked to drinking too much hard seltzer? It's called being a fucking. Pussy. Beware, too many high noons could leave you highly hospitalized. Overconsumption of any alcohol is not as bad for your health.

But researchers at Hackensack, Meridian Jersey Shore University Medical Center, that's too many worse. I'm going to trust that. I'm going to trust Hackensack Jersey Medical. Please. Please. That's worse than University of Phoenix. Hackensack Jersey Medical. All right. Well, they're saying that it's specifically to blame for a new condition called mehondro, Vakarajani.

Called me want to suck your cock. It's called me tummy hurts and too many trillies. This whole thing is made up. Hack and sack medical, a new disease called me tummy hurts from shelters. Yeah, I don't know. It's as brought on by excessive fluid intake from low salute drinks like hard Seltzers. This condition, I guess that's low salt.

Just saying it's low salt. So what does it hurt? What does it do? Can cause serious health issues such as headaches, nausea, confusion, seizures, and even coma. Hyponatremia. Oh, hyponetremia, yeah, that just means that you drink too much water and that it messes up your electrolyte levels because it didn't have salt in it. so things get wonky in your body.

That makes sense because you would never drink, it's interesting, you would never opt to drink 10 high noons. Sorry, you would never opt to drink 10 sparkling waters. Right. But you drink 10 highnoons, hypothetically speaking, if you're looking at party. So yeah, that makes sense.

That is what happens when you party hard, okay? So party responsibly. And perhaps if you were drinking a beautiful, Society. It's a little bit more of an elevated experience instead of crushing new nurses. I just imagine you go in to the hospital and they're like, get him some pretzels. Yeah.

I'm the first person giving you a kala. First person, soak up that elk. Josh, should we do a moron mail? Yeah. Moron mail. Okay, folks, Good Guys, Podcast 1 at gmail.com. Right in. These have been fantastic. There's a great one right after.

I think they wrote in after our Sebastian Manascalco episode. Why did my phone just go back to 1980? How is that possible, Josh? Photos from 1980. There's nothing from 1980. True. Okay. Yeah, Good Guys Podcast 1 at gmail.com.

Write us in. They've been fantastic. This is from Naomi. Me and my husband have a couple's friend who lives across the street in apartment buildings. They live higher up so they can see onto our balcony. When we have any social events, they'll mention they see people over if they're not invited. What do we say?

It's really uncomfortable. We love them, but we don't want them at all of our events. And no, we can't just move because we own our apartment. Got to suck it up. What can you do? That's really, that really sucks, though. Does that happen in suburbia? Like, you have a backyard.

I guess most of the time your backyard is in the back of your house. So, like, your neighbor's, like, strolling by. But I guess they would hear the music. I think you have to invite your neighbors. If you're going to have a party, I guess you just have to invite your neighbors. They have to be at every function, right? No.

No, they don't. Okay, tell me, tell me neighborly etiquette. Especially speaking from the great Claudia Oshery, would she ever want that to be true? No, no. Party, no, for sure not. No, but also like we don't, we like small tight get-togethers for a reason.

So yes, you're right. In this case, just because they have a couple people over, doesn't mean that they need to invite their neighbor. I think you have to set the tone for being unbothered by it. If you're unbothered by them and their thoughts or feelings about it, then slowly but surely they will have to adopt that feeling. I think it's living in that middle ground of like, oh, I want a people please, but I don't want them to come to every party, which is totally reasonable.

At what age do you wake up and not send that text? I'm not sending that text. If I'm not invited to something, I am not asking you why I wasn't invited. perhaps at one point in my life I was sending that text I would never send that text today ever at what point in you would are you sending that text still never at what point in your life do you think you stop sending that is it when you have kids like like what what is it like I don't I don't want the confrontation I don't I don't want to be somewhere that I wasn't that nobody wanted me at like I no longer have FOMO for situations

where nobody thought of me. Yeah, I think people are more inclined to invite their daily people to things. Even, I have a dear friend I worked with for, you know, I worked with almost 20 years ago, and we really kept up over the years. But like we would see each other maybe once or twice a year. And we would talk three or four times a year,

but it was like a beloved great friend. And he turned 50 and I didn't get invited to his party. And I was like really disappointed. but again I was like yeah but I'm not in his life on the day to day so I just kind of accepted it so I think that's when I made my piece with like I get it yeah that one does sound particular that that one's a little bit different than what I was saying that one sounds if it's like a close personal friend I would probably take some light offense and if I wanted to continue a relationship just because this is how I am I would need to lightly confront it and then we can

move on. Like I would, if I wanted to continue the relationship, I would say, look, you know, I was surprised that I wasn't invited because I would have loved to have celebrated you. Like, is there a reason you didn't? And I would talk through it and move on. But I was more talking about, what do you think the answer is going to be? Let's keep talking about that. I think that the answer to that probably would be either I didn't think you would come. I didn't think that was something that you enjoyed. I think is a classic answer. Um, I, I forgot. I'm so sorry. Like that was a miss on my part. Um, or, you know, it was a really tight list. I, I only invited, which is a really hard thing to hear. But it was a really tight list. And while I love you, you know, it was like 30 people that I see every day, wives or friends. I don't know, some, some reason that you were just outside the line. would be what I would expect to hear.

Oh, that's a rough one. Because I think more likely than not, it's two things. It's either people forgot, which I think is a good thing to, there's a saying, don't confuse malevolence with stupidity. Totally.

You know, it's usually that people were dumb and forgot. Like, you'll be a happier, you'll live in a brighter world if you just assume people gaffed and weren't thinking, then people are plotting against you, which they're almost always not.

Correct. But, you know, which it's probably that. But the other reality, which is always going to be in my head, is like, I know I wasn't invited because, like, we're actually not, like, I just don't like the people that wouldn't, who wouldn't invite me, I think in my head, I would go, yeah, I've always thought there's a chance we're not as close as I thought. And the people that I know I'm close with, like, there would never be a question that I

wouldn't be invited, you know? It's funny. I have a friend that I really do love. I maybe see him once a year. We, but like when we're together, like, it's really strong. And I would love to be invited to this person's wedding. I don't know if I will be. And I think that it is what it is, because again, we don't hang out that often.

But I'm now thinking through it. If I wasn't invited to his wedding, I wouldn't say anything. But it would doubt, but it would. but it would definitely make me realize, okay, maybe he doesn't think of me as fondly as maybe I think of him. But you're good too. Like, you invite. Like, I'm like the king of not inviting.

I invite, but I also, weddings are hard. I had a wedding. Yeah. Like, I met you after. Like, I met so many people after I got married. No, but so the wedding part is hard because it's not a reciprocal event. like it's not if you don't invite me to your wedding it's like okay I didn't invite you to mine it sucks because

I didn't know you then but but yeah like people love to I think keep scores with weddings want to do one more sure I said that the other one had something to do with the Sebastian Manuscalco episode this one actually does that one had nothing to do with it I don't know what I was talking about um

hey good guys I have a friend whose father-in-law came to visit when their baby was about six weeks old He arrived, went upstairs to get settled, came back down, held the baby, played with the baby, and greeted everyone. A little later, my friend went upstairs and discovered his suitcase sitting inside the baby's crib. Not next to the crib, not near the crib. Open and inside the crib. And to make it even better, he had just flown in. So this suitcase had been through the airport and baggage claim before being placed where the newborn sleeps.

This is probably more of a waddy and nuts, but we've been fired up from it. I still had to share. Love the pot. You guys are hilarious things. This made me think of Sebastian's. This is worse. But this made me think of Sebastian's friend who came to stay who put his suitcase on Sebastian's bed instead of using the luggage track. This is way worse.

And I don't even understand it. It's psychotic. The only thing that can defend this is two things. Either he has that worm in his brain that Bobby Kennedy has. I mean, you're going to say that. Or he's got such a bad back, and then he needed to put it on a raised surface. But as someone who's gotten back pain from picking up my dear Meyer

for the last 11 months, navigating a crib is rough. Like it's a bad, it's a bad, what's the word, like access point for your back. It's, it, you don't have good back health picking up a kid out of a crib. Was it on the top of the crib? like balance on the bars or on the mattress. The way that they wrote it, they didn't say on the mattress.

I have to assume that it was balanced on the bars. That would make a lot more sense to me. That's not so bad. I mean, it's not ideal. I like that you said, I like that you called that out. That makes more sense to me. Because I was thinking to myself,

it's not even convenient. Like I just lowered, by the way, you want to talk about bad for your back? I'm sure you've had to lower a crib with an Allen wrench. Jesus fucking Christ! This is me. my 13 threason and this is also my second what of you nuts for the day okay a crib should not use

an allen wrench i'm here with my fingers it's terrible it's awful my god my back was killing me but yeah um josh cribs are not meant for uh anyone anyone they're they're they're improperly built i don't i don't know the access point it should be like a What about this, Josh? A higher crib, eye level. But it opens up like a dog crate. Barnyard door. Barnyard door.

Thoughts? I like that. I even like an old style western saloon door. Love that. Love that. The problem is, is that they don't want to have a kutremone. They don't want to have hardware where the kid can grab.

Saloon door. I just had a vision of the crib literally looks like a barn. And you just open it up. The babies in there with a bunch of hay and chicken coop. Yeah. That's sick. Pottery barn kids. I'm just saying, why don't people, more people?

We could put a kid in a spaceship. Make the crib look like a spaceship. I feel like we do that with beds. Oh, they do? Okay. Well, it's not cribs. It's like the next step. The next step, yeah.

Or a toddler. Yeah, what about for the infant, Josh? I guess they can't enjoy it, but you can. They can't enjoy it. And I think they are just trying to make those, whatever they can do to make it not death traps. And what research has shown is that it's literally a mattress, a breathable sheet, a breathable mattress, and a, you know, a standard crib. Like that's your best chance of your kid not getting, you know, cids in the middle of the night. Correct.

Yeah, I think the father-in-law has a worm in his brain. Okay. Yes. Now let's get to what are you nuts. Our Woody and Nuts moment of the week are gripes with people, places, and things. So both big and tall, whatever, is sticking in. Yo, carra. Hey now.

Okay, this is really interesting. And I, apps are needy. What are you nuts? I'll use an app. It's a wonderful time. All of a sudden, are you enjoying me? Are you enjoying the app? Do you like me?

Yes or no. Okay. Now I'm in a trap. You've trapped me. Good job. You trapped me. Yes. How about five stars?

That would be nice. Five stars would be nice in the app store. Take a moment. Would you like me so much? Or God forbid. No, I don't like you. What's wrong? What I do?

Can you give me a summary? You want a survey? Let's do a survey. What are you nuts? Just let me use the app. Don't be so needy apps. If you're using the app, you love it. I hate that.

I always hate that. And I'm always nervous, by the way, if I click something, that it's going to take me out of the app. That's right. So I don't click anything. I'm nervous. I'm using your app. Do I like it? Yeah.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be fucking using it, bro. Yeah. The only thing you should be rating five stars on is this fucking podcast. That's right. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Listen to us wherever you're your podcast. Watch it on YouTube. Watch it on Spotify.

Spotify. The video on Spotify is fantastic. It's fantastic. Creed, can you take me higher? Monday and Thursday. days, folks, we'll see ya. Pa-da-paw! Next time.

Next time. Next time.