Good Guys - Benny Had a Baby!!

Episode Date: June 23, 2025

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Morons and Toasters! It’s time we gather round... for the birth story you’ve all been waiting for! Today, we’re shouting BH from the rooftops and unpacking everything about our beautiful baby boy Ruby Soffer’s grand entrance. (!!!) From medical grade coffee runs and epidurals to birthing playlists, unconditional love and hospital sleep deprivation, we leave no stone unturned. Plus, we give a what are ya nuts that’ll leave you wondering if we’re stable after all. Love ya, and WELCOME TO THE WORLD, RUBY! Leave us a voicemail here! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: Find exactly what you’re booking for on Booking.com Get your free LMNT Sample Pack with any purchase at drinklmnt.com/GOODGUYS Visit ryleeandcru.com/goodguys and use code GOODGUYS for 20% off your first order. Go to LITTLESPOON.COM/GOODGUYS and enter our code GOODGUYS at checkout to get 30% off your first Little Spoon order. Start earning points on rent you're already paying for by going to joinbilt.com/GOODGUYS Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys, they're not the great guys, We're just so good, good guys. Benny and Joshy, Joshy and Benny,

Benny had a baby boy, Ruby booby. I love him. We love him. Everybody loves him. Benny and Joshi, we are here. The only thing worse than gluten brain is lack of sleep. So, like, I don't remember anything. Hold on.

We have to welcome him into the kingdom. Okay. Henceforth for all of time. Prince Ruby! All hail Prince Ruby. He's so cute. Those cheeks. Oh, my God.

In Russian, we call them Shuchkis. Shuchky, shuchky. And, like, how does it feel that you have seen pictures of him, but nobody ever will? He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. You can attest. He's gorgeous.

He's just like the perfect mix of like me and Claude. Really just like she is fucking crushing it. We'll talk about it. Claude is crushing it. She's doing so great. And that's why he's so beautiful because she's doing so great. Unbelievable women go through. Unbelievable.

All right. So start us from the beginning because everyone wants to know unless they subscribe to the toast Patreon in which case. What are you rich? Yeah. So we stopped recording the day before the C-Sex. We had the Great Rain Wilson on shout out. And then I sent you off into the wild. We said, we've pre-recorded for a month.

And now, henceforth, go have your beautiful baby. What did it look like? I'm just saying, how great are we that we pre-recorded? No time off. You get episodes. We get time off. We plan. This is planning, okay?

We can talk about that. I think I'm so, I think there's somewhere in the middle. This whole idea of time off is, what are you nuts? But also, I think I'm such a broken. child actor, then I'm like, no, no time off. You just pre-record. No, but no, but we don't need time off because we can pre-record. Right. And if you think our episodes are dated, you can suck it. Okay, we're going to talk about Love Island today. Okay, even though the episode that you watched came out today, which will end up being a month later, whatever, starting from the beginning. Okay. I need to,

I need to jog my memory, but hospital, Josh. What time? What time of day? Morning, morning. We went in the morning. Okay. And, And it was Claudia's first ever surgery, right? Like she has never, forget pregnancy. She's never been under the knife for anything, for anything. No anesthetics, no nothing. Not a root canal. Not a knee replacement.

Nothing. Nothing. Not a renegade. Five, fibroid. Fibroid. I don't know. Okay. Nothing.

And so she was very scared. We went in very early. And I'd say the scariest early part of the morning. morning was they take you from this like room that you're like sitting in for two hours for what by the way okay let me show up 15 minutes before you don't need to hold this hostage for two hours while all these pent up feelings prep before we come what's wrong with that josh prep before we come it's like somebody asks you okay josh we want you on local k t laa okay we want you to show up two hours early so we can put up all of the lights and all of the cameras while you're there

make it make sense you show up you do your interview you leave they can prep before. I'm just saying, we're in that room. So crazy. Okay. We're in that room. And they say, Ben, we're so sorry. You need to stay out here. We're going to bring in Claudia for her epidural. You need to stay here. And that was like pure waterworks. Claudia could not do that. Very uncomfortable. Being away from me. I walked her. Actually, I missed one part. I missed one part. Before that. And Claudia, this is, this is not nearly as bad as it sounds, or at least is the way that she made it sound. Our doctor came to me. He's like, Ben, you look really tired. You want a cup of coffee. I'm like, yeah, I would love a cup of coffee. Where did you get that coffee? It was just, it was a

normal coffee. I thought he got it, Josh, in the hospital. He's like, oh, I poured it into a different cup. I got it at Starbucks this morning. Let me go get you a Starbucks. I'm like, oh, no, no, no, I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to get me a Starbucks. He said, no, I insist. I'm getting you Starbucks. The doctor left got me Starbucks downstairs, brought it back. I've never seen Claudia's so angry. She was furious, furious, because her doctor's leaving to get me coffee. I didn't want him to get me coffee Josh. I didn't want it. He clearly had something.

Something else was he was in the mood for an egg white fed a rap and he said, I'm going to look like a real mensch getting him a coffee on the way. I was the scapegoat. I was the scapegoat. I was sacrificed. Yeah, yeah. Claudia was mad at you? Yes.

She's like, how can you get Starbucks from my doctor that's about to perform surgery while we're doing this? Like, what are you nuts? I'm like, I said no. I tried to say no. That fight lasted two minutes. Then the nurse came in. I love that she's already a Jewish, like a Jewish mother goes,

you send our doctor to get Pete. You're sending, oh, our doctor is Dordash. It really was crazy. It really was crazy. He was Dordash. He came back up. He even got my two pumps of chai. Okay.

Did you tip him? You fuck you. No, of course not. It was fantastic. Okay. Then we walk in. She was crying. I was able to come in and you just see curtain up. She's on the table. And it's go time, baby. It is go time. She said afterwards the epidural was the most painful part of the whole thing. She said it was unbelievably painful. Hated every minute of it. Does page say the same? Apparently those things are terribly painful. It can be. It depends on who's giving it. But it is a nice size needle into the spine.

Right into the spine. I will sympathize too with Claudia. I remember Paige similarly was such a soldier because our baby was breach, but then it flipped right at the last minute. So what was supposed to be a C-section turned into, okay, we'll just induce because the baby's in good shape. But Paige in the back of her mind was like, I know I'm going to wind up with a C-section. So she soldiers it for 30 plus hours, right? Insane. And halfway through, she then gets the epidural.

So now her legs don't work. and she's been laying in bed. And it was only, that was, and by Saturday night, we'd been there like 30 hours. And finally around like 7 o'clock, the doctor said, let's do it. I don't want to risk that the baby goes into distress and then we have to rush this. I think we should do the C-section. And it was only then where she started to cry. Because it just your fate, it's so emotional.

And it's such like a lead up to like, okay, let's just freaking do this already. No, it's also awful. The fact that she mentally prepared for a C-section for so, long, I'm sure, then got that just like burst of energy. Yes, he flipped. Yes, I can deliver regularly to then only end in a C-section. Oh, my God. It's such a lead up. Oh, terrible. Yeah, so I walked into the room. She was on the table. Seven. It's a lot, right? Six or seven people. Yeah, there's the anesthesiologist. There's the nurse. There were two doctors that did the delivery. They were fantastic. Yeah. Fantastic. I don't remember the other guy's name, but our doctor

Dr. Fox, unbelievable at Sinai West. Unbelievable, Josh. He did such a great job. I remember he pulled out Ruby, threw him on Claudia's chest. I was like, oh my God, that was vicious. And all of a sudden, he's just there. He's just sitting there. He's looking at us.

You're crying. I'm kissing Claudia. I'm looking at him. I go around. I just like see this ball of mush that looks exactly like me. I'm looking at him. I'm like, and they say that the. they are born looking like their fathers.

That's like nature's paternity test. And it's so true. So you don't throw them. This was me. I was thinking, imagine he came out Chinese. That would be a real fight. Amazing. I'm looking at him and I'm just like, oh my God, who are you?

But you are me and you are mine. And it was just insane. Insane. And from there, we went to this private room and we spent two days there. and those two days were dark. I'm not going to lie. Okay, we'll get there. We'll get there.

We'll get there. Okay. For the people. I am the people. We are the people. Yes. Okay. Yes.

Okay. Was there music playing during the delivery? And was it a Claudia approved playlist or did the doctor's pick? It was Claudia's playlist. She played it. She played it. Wow. Like on her phone, I kept it like next to her head.

It wasn't like speakers going. No. The playlist was playing next to her head. It was a combination of like Taylor Swift. Swift piece. That's her favorite song. She loves peace. Right.

And then I'm saying a combination is if I remember any of the other songs. I think that was the song that was playing while he was born. I wanted teenage dirtbag on the playlist and she vetoed it. Yeah. But I thought that would have been rad,

right? If he's born to teenage dirtbag or maybe I'd do anything for love by meatloaf. Those are my two. And they were both nixed in favor of Taylor Swift's piece. Oh, well, thankfully you're going to have more kids. Yeah.

And then it'll be an exclusively meatloaf playlist. That would be amazing. Good name, Loaf. Oh, I love it. I love it. First name meat, middle name Loaf. Wow. And then, okay, so you've got the playlist rocking.

We're talking to Taylor Sweep. We're talking to New Jersey Klesmer band. Yes. Okay. And then what are we? The Miami Hebrew Boys Choir. Who are those kids? What are their names?

No, the Miami Boys Choir is amazing. There's also the Yeshiva Boys Choir, but Miami really popularized the Jhiva Boys Choir. the genre. Oh, you're a shall I am. Oh, Yara shall I am. That's Miami. They're sick.

And then, yes. So that's rock and that's bumping. Did you notice one thing during pages C-section was we noticed small talk that there was just like, I mean, you know, for those people, it's a day at work. And not until like right when the baby was coming out, did everyone zero in on that. Otherwise, it was like cutting, tearing. So my husband's going to go do this. And, you know, I haven't paid my.

taxes, my house is in default, you know, things like that. I didn't hear anything. Yeah. I really, like my head, I was so unbelievably worried about her. Like, Paige, you mentioned, like, she's, she's a warrior for sure. She's done this before. Like, I'm not saying by any means it's routine for her now. But I wonder if for Max, it was different.

Like, I was so worried about Claudia the entire time because her tolerance for pain up until this point has been zero, like zero tolerance for pain. So the idea of her undergoing surgery, the only thing that we'd hear, we would hear, okay, time to put back in the uterus, and that was nuts. Like that, like hearing, hearing that they've taken things out of her body and they're now going to put them in, those are the only things that we heard. Maybe we tuned out all the other noise. But other than that, I was just so focused on her, talking to her, kissing her, listening to her. I couldn't hear anybody else.

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Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com slash Good Guys. This deal is only available through my link. You must go to D-R-I-N-K-L-M-N-T.com slash good guys. Hello, www.com slash good guys. Hi, I'm Caroline Stambrie, star of the Real Housewives of Dubai, entrepreneur, wife, and mother of three. Once divorced and now remarried to a much younger man, uncut and uncensored with Caroline Stambray follows me as I live my life unapologetically and shows you that there is life after 40. I discuss everything from relationships, health, wellness, business, parenting, friendships, I'm I'm here to let you know that not only is there a life after divorce,

but you have the power to make it your best one yet, just like I did. Listen to all new episodes every Wednesday, anywhere you get your podcasts. Okay, so I'm not asking, oh man, I don't know who I'm allowed to ask this. Okay, I'm not asking this about Claudia because this is your wife and I would never ask this about your wife. Yes. So Olivia. Feel free not to answer. Is there like a general thought of like if a woman is going in to give birth, like let me do some grooming because I'm going to have an audience?

1,000% actually. I was just on a family vacation and I was talking to my cousin who has a one year old and she was like telling me her whole birth story and everything. And she said she scheduled a Brazilian wax for a Thursday and she got induced on like a Sunday or something. Oh my God. Fascinating. But yes, you do have an audience. I don't see why you wouldn't do that. Why not?

Imagine the wax is too aggressive and the baby comes out. That's a freebie. Oh my God. A Brazilian wax while you're nine and a half months pregnant. That's how you induce. That's crazy. So much pain. Yeah, that's how you induce.

That's how you induce. So then you go to the room for the next two days because you got to be there and you're healing. It's major surgery. Why is it dark? It's dark because... And look, I already mentioned how unbelievable Dr. Fox was. Okay. What mattered most was unbelievable.

But he clocks out. These doctors, he's out. He's gone. And now or later, they're like, he's gone. And then we're left with the nurses and our room was situated right outside the nurse's table. So you walk into the hospital, there's a nurse's table. And then rooms flank down the halls away from the nurse's table. But at the nurse's table, Josh.

They are kicking all night long. Love that. They are partying. You hear them. Like, it just, we would hear them. And then the second that we, like, got one second of sleep, the second we were able to go to bed. Oh, time to check your blood pressure. It's like, lady, you've checked her blood pressure 19 times.

Her blood pressure is fine. Like, stop checking her blood pressure when she finally fell asleep. Like, it just, I don't know. It was just brutal. And she had no interest. no interest in narcotics because she heard that Matthew Perry had some light narcotics. Oh, she's my sugar. She's my sugar. Regardless of she's my sugar or not, I'm so proud of her because she made it through on Tylenol and Advil, Josh. Tylenol and Advil, that is it. They would come in, though, she had two Tylenol and she'd say, hey, you know, can I have two Tylenol a little bit earlier?

They're like, no, we can't do that, but we can give you a perk a set. And it's like, what are you nuts? Like you'd rather give her hard narcotics than give her two extra Tylenol. I could go downstairs and get Tylenol from the gift shop. May I push back? You can. I'll push back again. Keep it pushing. Push, push, push away.

Yes. I think Claudia is perfect. She's amazing. And I think that's fabulous. I would say in addition to two things. One, which I'm sure she was on the maximum dose of Tylenol, taking it a little early is so bad for your liver. Tylenol especially the big like it is given is one of these like massive because it's such like a we grow up with Tylenol. We think of it as something rather benign.

But it is like one of those red light will give you liver failure if you, you will fuck around and find out with Tylenol quick. And it's so many things. So let me tell you that was her Advil. Her Advil, it was a combo with Advil and Tylenol around the clock. Her Advil was that horse pill, right? even though that horse pill was still only 600 milligrams, which is only three Advil. And Ibu 600. Her Tylenol was 400 milligrams, which is two Tylenol.

I chewed that on my way to the podcast. Yeah, you could take it to a thousand. Yeah, she was, they were giving her 400, Josh. And we were just asking for another 400 an hour early. Got it. I'm telling you, they were trying to push these narcotics because they make more money. Just saying it was a lot of, sorry, we can't give you Tylenol. We can give you percicid.

Oh, you don't want percic. we can give you a lotted. Okay, no. Okay, no. I would say the Matthew Perry thing is not, that's recreational drug use by a drug addict in a hot tub. Respect. Yeah.

You are so far from that line in a hospital, in a controlled setting. And I think what Claudia did is perfect. She's the greatest ever. And she has my admiration because I'd be like, give me, give me, welcome to the candy shop. I want to lick your lot. Like, I'll go down on you, Doc. But I think sometimes people unnecessarily suffer.

It doesn't sound like Claudia was. And I think that can be deleterious to the healing because you're so you're able to endure the pain, but you're so stressed and tight and not sleeping. Then in fact, you prolong healing by trying to not take it in a controlled safe setting in some cases. But I think Claudia is perfect. I'm not comment. on that. In some cases, maybe the same way that I said that her tolerance for pain was nothing before this, her tolerance for pain after, she's a fucking warrior. Totally. Like when I, when I tell you,

we're recording a month after, she's healed. Like, she's healed. We're going for walks. She's healed. Like, she takes nothing now. Nothing at all. No Advil, no Tylenol, no, nothing. A thousand percent healed. She was healed really after like three weeks. I could not believe it. So great. And this breastfeeding, Josh, let me tell you, holy smokes. She's breastfeeding around the clock. I must say, I must share just because I'm proud of it. This boy is growing. This boy is growing and growing fast because he's on the mother's teeth sucking for dear life. And they say that your baby's supposed to like regain their weight from the hospital within 10 to 14 days. Josh, he's up 30. Okay. Wow. He's up 30%.

Wow. Actually, no. He's up 50%. He's up 50%. He's up 50%. He's going to be so fat and gorgeous and delicious. We're going to have to introduce him to that fat friendly travel. What is that blog with where they go to Disney? Yeah. Plus size park riders. Plus size park riders. We're going to get him a ticket. Yeah. We're going to get him a ticket. Yeah. Killing it and her tolerance for pain. So great. She described the initial breastfeeding feeling as I think it was glass coming through her name. nipples and she just did it and got through it. And yeah, she's killing. Have you tried the breast milk? No.

Like I could. Maybe I should. Why not? Yeah. Why not? I should. I should. That said the nutrients are for, I should take like an old bag or something.

Yeah. Because apparently, I don't know if you've heard of this. When she kisses him, it sends signals as to what he needs back into her breast milk. Hmm. I haven't heard that. Antibodies are created. We got this validated by a doctor. Antibodies are created through mother's germs onto baby. The breast milk, that's why if you freeze your breast milk, which she's doing for like when we eventually give him bottles, all that you're giving them at that point is fuel. It's just calories. But the breast milk that day is also medicine. I found that fascinating.

Like the colostrum? Well, the colostrum's gone. So the colostrum in the beginning, yes. That is immediately what the baby needs. But then the breast milk on a day-to-day basis also has whatever Claudia kissed him with. Like whatever germs, there are now things in that breast milk to combat those germs. Huge. Huge. Do it, bro.

Add it to your little morning cough. Yeah, just like a drop. A couple chai shots, little coloss. They should. How is Starbucks missing that? I'm off the chai, Josh. I'm off the chai. I told you I'm now a Duncan.

Now Duncan. and then Starbucks went to send me their last bottle of sugar-free, sugar-free, what is it? Hazelnut? It's not the same. Sorry, it's not the same. I'm on Duncan. Until they bring it back into store, I'm on Duncan. But yeah, they should add breast milk into the menu.

Why not? Why not? I'm in. They do add, there is an addition to smoothies. It's bovine colostrum, so cow colostrum. Okay, okay. I'm in for bo-I. I like the term bovine.

Do with that with you will? I'm in. That's a good children's name bovine. Yeah, yeah. First name, bow, middle name vine, bovine, saffer. I like it. I like it. I like it too.

There's, it's interesting. Like, the proper name for cows is bovine. There's proper names for things that we just refuse to acknowledge. This is a Jimmy Car joke. But it's like, you know, what's Deutsche Land? Deutsche Land is Denmark? It's Germany. Germany.

Okay. Close enough. That's what they call it. They call it Deutsche Land. Yeah. And we say. It wasn't disarming enough. I mean, it was too disarming, Deutschland.

Deutsche Langellins chill, Germany. Yeah. Just like, Europeans and Americans were like, no, you're not. Like, yes, we are. We said, Deutschland and be like, chill, chill, chill, relax, man. Like, nah, not. No, that's Germany. We won both World Wars.

You don't get to say. No, we get to name it. We claim you. By the way, do you know what Nippon is? Nippon, Thailand. Japan. Really? They never called it Japan to themselves.

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My role is I feed her when she's like she, she'll wake up at 3.30 in the morning or I will get him. I will hear him. I don't know what it is about my brain. But the second he opens his mouth, even if it's just a little grunt, I hear him. So I will then hopefully go back to sleep for a half hour while he like slowly wakes up. The second I hear a big wah, which, by the way, teradactal. Terradactal. These are, they've been tricking us into thinking babies sound like babies. Nobody said, babies don't sound like babies.

Babies don't sound like, I don't know what the hell. Dinosaurs, literal dinosaurs. Yeah. It's psychotic. But you hear that dinosaur. I go in, I pick him up, undo his swaddle, bring him in, change him. Okay, we're taking off the diaper. We're doing a nice wipe.

I'm then assessing. Is this a desitant? rash. Is this just like some nice A and D? Do we want to go aqua for? Okay. Then repackage up, hand him to Claudia. She will feed. She uses, it's called a boon trove. Do you guys have a boon trove? No. A boon trove, they also call it a haka is another one. It attaches to the other breast and it picks up milk while she's breastfeeding the other. So she doesn't even need to pump. She's getting four ounces, Josh. Wow. Just from sticking it on the right tit and then flipping and sticking it on the left tit because as he drains one, it drains into the boon trove. It's a fantastic little apparatus.

I then take the milk. I put it into the bag. I put it into the freezer. And then we go to sleep. And then we do it again in hopefully three hours. But he's he's anywhere, he's really anywhere from two to three. And what about what do you do about diaper change if you're not there? I haven't not been there ever. Like what if he, if he need to change, we're doing the pot. She will change him, of course. Okay. But like, it's not like a, it's not like a hard and fast rule. Like she actually, she'd love to change him because she finds, she says that that's the fun part where you get to change him, you get to put on his new clothes and he looks super cute and whatever. But like, there are so few things that we can do. I'm just like, let me do that. Like,

that's my job. I hear him. I wake up. I change him. I give him to you. You do what you do. and I try and fight falling asleep while you feed. Like I'll try to talk to her. Like I'll try to rub her back or I'll try to do something. Because I don't know if you felt this way. And maybe you have to like think back to Max because now I'm sure it just feels her team. But like you're guilty. Like at least, at least I feel guilty.

I'm like, oh, you are you are a full blown dairy cow. Like you are there being milked. And I just, I wish I could do something. So I try to do whatever I can. But I didn't feel guilty at all, but because there was, we do formula. So, okay. So it's a different story. It's a different story.

It's a different thing. We did formula from the beginning. And I think, different story. My brain really works in divide and conquer, like separation of powers. Totally. So like my whole thing, and I always say this to which, I say this to her when we go, like, if she has a girl's night, which is more, like, I'm out more. And we're both not out much.

Like we're not big babysitter family. Like her mom and her family help us sometimes if we have something and we need them to watch the kids. But we don't have like a lot of our friends have like a babysitter on retainer. Right. Or like set. Like every Friday, Saturday night babysitter is booked and busy and we have our standing reservations wherever. Yeah. But my old thing to page right is like if she goes out with her girlfriends, I'm like, you are not going to hear from me unless it's an emergency.

Totally. Right? Like go have a great time. You know, if I'm dealing with a little something here, somebody doesn't feel good, whatever, like, no need for you to know about it. So I'm big on that too with like with the baby. I'm like, I'm on duty now for the next six hours or nine hours and like go sleep, do your thing, recover, watch a show, eat. And like, I'm on this. And then when I hand them off, I need it to.

And like, and it's helpful because then we can both recover. Totally. So that is something it's, we're just living completely different lives because breastfeeding versus formula allow you to do completely different things. Like we are in lockstep. We tried one night. She skips a feeding. I bottle feed. I skip a feeding. She breasts. Yeah. Right. We tried that. And we looked at each other the next morning and we were like that hour was so unbelievably lonely in comparison to what we've been doing that we would rather wake up. And like, I don't feel nearly as that as I was nervous for this podcast. I was like, okay, I exclusively sleep. I've exclusively slept in two to three hour chunks for the last month. My brain is not what it was. I need a full night's sleep. And I'm fine. And I think that we are just getting enough bulk sleep like last night. Last night we slept from nine to 12, one to three 30, four 30 to six 30, seven to nine. And you add it up and it's eight hours or nine hours. Yeah. Yeah. And, And we're up together and I don't know.

I'm not just saying this. Like, I think we're enjoying it as much as one can. But it's been, when we separated it, we just, I don't know. I think it would be different if I, like, handed, if we handed a feeding, which I couldn't do, like, handed a feeding in the middle of the night to my mom. I guess I hypothetically could, but then she needs to sleep there. Then I think it would be different. But knowing that she's awake, just, I'm just like not sleeping well. I feel bad.

And I don't know. So I'm sure that that will change over time. He'll also end up sleeping more. Like I'm very excited. When does he start to sleep through the night, Josh? He's already at like three, three and a half hours. When do you think he can get to six? Oh my gosh.

Well, you know, I don't want to incite the masses because we've gotten mean reviews over this because there are very different schools of thought. In my experience, the baby doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night after four months. And in my experience, I say, any pediatrician worth their weight. And so it's at that point where if they're crying out after three or four hours, it's just because they're used to it. And they want you to come in and console them.

And then if you can get through two or three nights of that, they realize, oh, I don't need to be consoled and I'm not hungry. And they feel so good because they're sleeping for a six or an eight hour stretch. That's been my experience different for everyone. Four months, but you have to be proactive. about it. Totally. Totally. Yeah. Look. Right now he's a hungry boy, but I would assume that he'll just be able to be like us. Eat a shitload during the day and you sleep at night. Oh yeah. And you crush shy still at two, over two and a half years, he'll drink eight ounces

of milk of second before bed. And he knows that I'm judging him. I'm like, there goes your intermittent fast. Brian Johnson would, Gary Brecker would fucking spit in your face right now. This is unacceptable. Dana White is judging you. Okay. Good luck fighting in the UFC. And David Goggins would kick you off of his mailing list right now. Okay?

You fucking beta. But he'll crush eight ounces of milk. And then, well, he has a milk allergy, so we do ripple. One of us. It's beautiful. And then he'll sleep through the night. And there have been a couple nights where he won't be in the mood. He'll drink like a quarter of it.

and he'll wake up in the middle of the night, be like, I'm hungry. Yeah. So it's really good. It's like, they're like bodybuilders. Like bodybuilders. But yeah, okay, I'm excited for four months. I'll pencil that in. I'll let you know what we end up doing.

We'll see. Look, like right now I hear him cry and I get up. But I do think to myself, if I waited a half hour, would he stop? Like, I don't think this young, but. No, no, I don't. But I'm saying that goes into your head. So I do wonder if at four months, I hear him after we've been sleeping for four hours, I would probably give it a half hour.

I don't think that I would let him wail for hours and hours and hours. But nobody is, nothing's happening. I don't know why this should be a controversial take. Nothing's happening in 30 minutes. Like if he's hungry, he'll still be hungry in 30 minutes. But nothing metabolically. No. There's no disaster happening in 15 to 30 minutes if he's crying.

Not now, but later. But we'll see. We'll see. And also you'll notice you'll know different cries. You'll be like, no, like, you'll, You can tell from the cry if it's more of just like calling out, where are you? Come hang out with me. Or like, I need to be changed.

I'm in pain. I don't feel good. I'm hungry. It has a different tone. That's one thing that I didn't know. They are so gassy. These boys. Holy smokes are they gassy?

And like most of these pains, when he cries, I know he's just gassy. And we have a, I'm sure that everybody knows the bicycle trick. But I love it. I do like the little bicycles. I then tilt him back and I get a nice toot. And then I, I tell them again and it's a nice toot. And when I hear those toots, I'm like, oh, thank God.

He must feel 1,000 times better. Sweet relief. Same way as when you get a nice burp and you get that like deep belch. It's wonderful. And then Frida has the thing. It's called like the Fannie Whistle or whatever it's gone. What's this? Have you heard about this?

No. And I love Frida products. Frida's fantastic. Shout out Frida. We use their bath. It's wonderful. It's called. Yeah, the windy whistle.

And what is it? The Frida Baby Windy Whistle. Windy whistle. And it's just like a little device that I think like helps helps the wind blow. Really? Yeah. Where do you blow it? Yeah.

Out their butts. It's like. Oh, oh, you stick it in their butt. Yeah, it's like a little hollow tube with like a little small little insert for their butt. And it just kind of eases the flow of traffic. Got it.

Okay. So it's kind of like a stent. Yeah, it's a butt stent We should come up with a competitor We're going to come out with a competitor product The butt stent You tell people you're like I have bad news guys I need a stent

They're like oh my God Like where are you going to go Like Columbia Press be like now I'm like Riteate My butt stent It's a butt stent Oh man that's funny That's really funny This episode of the Good Guys podcast

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slash good guys. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-T dot com slash good guys. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. Join build.com slash good guys to sign up for Bill today. What diapers are you using? What typeers did you use? So as I said before, you know, we started with Kotéri, Kottéri, which is so fancy, so French. Ket-e-B-J-J-J-J-J-I. I really don't feel bad. Like, I'm sorry. The coterie, okay. I hope nobody, please, I hope I don't get in trouble. These diapers are just, they don't need to be beautiful. Who needs a beautiful diaper?

It's under all the clothing. They're cute. They're so cute. I find them significantly less effective than pamper's and huggies. Pampers and huggies are the gold standard. They really are. They're OGs. And I've been using, I was using the newborn Josh.

And B. And B. And B. This wasn't it for my boy. My boy is, Huggies and Pampers ones are perfect. Nothing seeps through the cracks. I put it right under his belly button. It's fantastic.

The newborn ones, at least the coterie ones, he was peeing and it would hit, like, he would be wet. Like I would feel his back. There's nothing more inconvenient than that. I wake you up from a nap and not only do I have to change your diaper in the middle of the night, but I also have to change your undershirt. And then these onesies, which by the way, the ones with the snaps, what are you nuts? Nuts. Okay.

Nuts. What are you doing to me? What am I in the 20s? What are you doing to me with these snacks? What is it? Prohibition? And I have to say, I prefer the zipper. I understand people like the magnets.

I'm a big zipper guy. No, the magnets are weird too. The magnets think, make me think I have special needs. Like 100%. It's like I can't use a zipper. I can't use a zipper. Yeah. No, it's nuts.

It's nuts. It's nuts. But these snacks. Babie clothing with snaps. What are you nuts? Terrible. Terrible. You're so lucky, Ben, too, that you love this.

And I love it too. Because it's uniquely, it's a gift. And you can't decide. And I see so many people, men especially, but women too are like who are trudging through this time. And you know what? Sometimes when their kids are a little older, they grow into all-star parents. They're just not great at the baby phase.

But if you can be great and love the baby face, even though it's gross and tiring and all the things, it's so wonderful. I love it. We are lucky. We are fortunate that I guess we're wired to love it. But I think that it just comes from like somebody did that for me. Like I don't know if you had this same thought, but like I walk around the world differently. Looking at people, the world can't be as dark a place as people claim that it is when you have this many humans. that another human ensured that this person stayed alive.

It's really hard to keep a baby alive if you don't give a shit, right? Like, if people were really that evil, there wouldn't be that many people in the world. You have 8 billion people in the world. That means that there were 8 billion other people. Do you think that cared enough to keep, I do. But I personally do. But do you think the other side of that debate is true to where it's like, people always go like, it's so hard to have a kid and yet it's obscenely easy.

because there are a lot of assholes who are having kids. And that, like, kids are weird. I'm not making light of what you're saying because I agree with you. I think in addition to, like, both things can be true. Like, and I say this to parents, too, when they're, like, crazy, neurotic, terrified. I'd be like, no, babies are born pretty resilient. Like, because we've only had these modern conveniences for the last hundred years. Like, they're born, they're born to last, if they, in most cases.

I think that people that, I think even the people that seem like assholes to, to you just must be better parents and more patient behind the scenes. They must be. Like, unless they're, unless they're truly, which would be a terrible thought, like, they hear a cry and they are so upset. Their day is ruined that now they have to go and change this diaper. Like, to every guy that has ever mentioned to me that, like, changing a diaper is a big deal.

Like, grow the fuck up. And I have to assume that you're just like trying to make. conversation and trying to make me feel bad for you. But grow up. It is so not a big deal at all. Like, what is the big deal? I, like, what is, it takes, it takes a minute. I don't, and like, I remember, like, I've, I've had people that have, like, there are guys

that take stances, strong lines in the sand. I don't change diapers. You've heard that before, right? Yeah, that's bitch boy pussy shit. So stupid. Yeah. Fuck out of here. Like, it's also such an easy thing to do that your wife is then thankful for.

And also, you're disgusting. If you're that manly, I can't even imagine the poops you take, the way you smell, the way your gym bag must smell. Like these people who would say something like that, I'm like, you're as gross as that kid of yours. And kids are cute, even when they're gross, they're cute. Gross. I mean, yeah, so cute and gross.

Love it. Yes. Every three-year-old that my son shy plays with, like, I don't because it would be inappropriate around other parents, but I want to be like, can I clean your kid's nose? because they're all sick. They're all and like yellow infected snotts coming out of their nose. And some of the parents don't catch it as quick. And I want to be like, I'll get it.

Like I just want to like give them some relief. Yeah. It's fascinating. Baby acne is fascinating. One day bumps. The next day completely clear. Mm-hmm. It's fascinating.

You can't touch it. You can't touch it. That's what they say. I've heard you can put breast milk on it. You can, but you don't, at least in our experience, you don't have to. It goes away by itself. Sure. The rest of it, like the dry skin and stuff, that, of course, you like put the A&D or I wonder if you could just put breast milk on that too. I wonder how healing breast milk is. I wonder if it would dry up dry. I wonder if it would make dry skin smooth. The desidon. The desidon is cute. The decon is good. You get that nice foam layer. Man, I just want to powder up in the middle, in the middle of the day. I know decidin because as a man with a lifelong chub with lifelong chub rub. Desotin is the best for chub rub. If you really, like,

You're a destitin as a grownup? I did, yes. Thank God with some weight loss, I don't have the same level, but like Ben at 285 pounds who spent an extra three hours in a bathing suit, my God, is he rubbing decetin in between his legs? My buddy Len, when I was doing this movie in New York,

he came and visited me during the last week. And this is like wheels coming off. We're both 20 years old. We're getting high. We're going nuts. And so I took them all over. New York and I walked his ass to the Guggenheim down to the village, like up and down the city and it's hot. It's mid-August and we're eating, babe. We're eating that good Puerto Rican food.

We're having Italian soup dumplings crushing. Two of my favorite stories from that trip is he got such bad chub rub that he had to lay splayed in the hotel bed like this. As I gunshot, I took an art. RPG of Gold Bond and I'm shoulder, I'm shoulder holsteringing going all over his undercarriage. And then he got so bloated and put on so much weight during the week that he was in New York that when he got home, his dog barked because he didn't recognize him. So yeah, man. Chubb is real.

Take care of your rashes. Okay? Take care. Take care. Have you taken the roobster out for a walk by yourself yet? No. No. We've, as I mentioned, we've been doing literally everything together, like everything, but we've, but he's been out and he loves being outside.

Yeah. That boy, if he, if we want him to go to sleep, throw him in the stroller, take him outside. He loves a nice gust of wind. Falls right to sleep. It's so funny, I'll be, I'll be pushing the stroller. And even in the house, I'll accidentally, like, bump it into the side of the door before I leave. And I'm thinking to myself, that jolt would wake me. Nothing.

Nothing. the second that swaddles off, I'm sure you know this look. He's laying down. He's asleep, no swaddle all of a sudden. Oh, yeah, the startle reflex. The startle reflex? It's so cute. I just look at him and when he's like fully like this,

I just want to give him a big bear hug. And that's the last thing he wants. He just wants to be back in his little cocoon. You're going to start to when you guys eventually start doing a little bit of things on your own, being able to like take him and roll calls while and he won't wake up from the calls and you just like can walk and take calls listen to podcast and get some steps in that's my my friend Ryan holiday the author says like do not agree to take any calls unless it's extremely necessary to do a zoom where you are in person any call without walking like it will change your life sitting in a chair for calls is unacceptable I love it I love it yeah it's gonna be

my entire personality that I'm out with him walking nine miles a day. Facts. I love it. Should we get to Woody Unuts? Perfect. Awesome. Our Woody Nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever, sticking in your craw. Ben, go for it. So I'm in this hospital, right? I mentioned there's a Kiki outside. I'm in the room. And look, she's not sleeping, right? She, of course, had major surgery. So I understand why she's on pain killers around the clock, but I, Josh, I haven't slept in, I slept like one hour, two hours the first 48 hours. I just couldn't sleep in that hospital. I couldn't do it.

I tried. I could not do it. And what happens when you don't get any sleep, Josh? You get a headache, right? So I thought, okay, I'm in a hospital, right? If I have a headache, no problem. I'll walk outside to the Kiki happening at the nurses station and say, hi, could I have three Advil, please?

I have a headache. We don't treat the spouse. What are you nuts? I didn't ask for, I asked for three Advil. We don't treat the spouse. That was the line. We don't treat the spouse. I didn't ask to be treated.

I can go downstairs to the gift shop and pick up Advil. You can't give me three Advil. They acted like I asked for, ask for surgery. We don't treat the spouse. What are you nuts? You should treat the spouse. Give the spouse three Advil. It's so not a big deal.

That is a dickhead response because I could understand if they're like, we can't go into the hospital's supply, but we keep a bottle of. Advil because we're, you know, a bunch of, you know, tired nurses who get headaches. Yeah. Who need Advil? Who need it? Take from our stash. Yeah. We don't treat the spouse. I was read to filth. I walked back in and, oh, I also another, this is a me. What are you nuts, Josh? Me, what are you nuts? I slept shirtless in the hospital. And I did on occasion. I was delirious. I did on occasion. Leave my room. Oh, my God, bro.

In just my underwear. No. No. You know we have a name for that in Yiddish? It's called a Yachtner. I literally, I swear to God. And especially like the first day I was like, all right, I'm going to wear socks by day two. You're just in Calvin Kline's?

I'm just in Calvin Kline's. And everyone can see you? Don't ever call me out about anything. ever again. This falls at Sinai West, walking around like Al-Bundee. It was so nuts. Looking back on it, then I'm like, I will do anything to sleep. Anything.

And then looking back on it, it was so nuts. What did you need outside of the room? Advil, water. You went up and talked to the charge nurse in your underwear. I think I was wearing a shirt. No wonder they turned you away. I think I was wearing a shirt. But yes, shirt and underwear.

shirt and underwear. I'm so funny. I packed like a whole suitcase, Josh. Like a whole wardrobe. I never wore anything. This is like if you were at Dear Media in your underwear. For sure. Could you imagine Michael and Lauren?

By the way, they would love it. That's spectacular. I love it. Okay, my what do you nuts are artichokes? This is a ridiculous vegetable. Stop it. I love artichokes. We all do.

It is the dumbest exercise and futility. ever like fair fair so good i i love it too but the fact that you're getting about 10% of meat from this gigantic thorny prehistoric looking vegetable and you have to douse it in some sort of heavy creamy like remelade or melted butter just and then it's all to get to the heart let's get to the heart meanwhile it looks it's a crime it's a it's a vegetable crime scene with all this shit everywhere. It's total what do you're nuts. Total what do you nuts. I love, love artichoke. Me too. Stuck artichoke, my absolute favorite. That's it. It's a good call that it's really a joke of a vegetable. Because in order to truly enjoy it, this is not a vegetable. This is a cake.

This is a fried, fried fish. This is the, no, no, doused in butter. It's oregano. That's what it is. Doused. Josh, if this episode isn't five stars, What are you nuts? So true. Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on YouTube. Share our clips. Instagram and TikTok.

TikTok. We're almost at 100K. I mean a million. We're almost at 100K. A million K. Tomorrow's on TikTok. Mondays and Thursdays. If I didn't say that already, we will see you next time.

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