Good Guys - Ben’s Dairy Tier List & Cigar Accident

Episode Date: June 13, 2024

Have ya heard of Chernobyl morons?! Nuclear power is real! And so is the jovial spirit of this very podcast! It's Thursday and the Good Guys discuss smoking cigars, dream body goals, and answer your speakpipes: why pay extra for half and half? In the words of Ben Soffer Celebrity himself, "The hysteria's got to stop!" What are ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Sponsors: mintmobile.com/goodguys to get this new customer offer and your new 3-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month Go to Quince.com/goodguys for free shipping and 365-day returns on you order Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Sauffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Mazumorons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with the sixth and unrealized member of the Jackson 5.

Ben Soffer. Oh, shit. I was trying to think of a Jackson 5 song. Trying to think. Just give me one. Just give me one. Oh, baby, give me one more chance. Want you please?

Easy me back in your arms. Oh, baby, I'd let you go. Let you go, baby. You think I could do it? Yeah, A, B, C. Easy is one, two, three. Yes. Oh, that's good.

Really good. Yeah. Will you be my manager? Yeah. Will you book me on gigs? You will. You'll throw me out there. I take a small cut of 45%.

Yeah, I was going to say, you strike me as a guy that's going to take a hefty fee. But you'll do it. You'll do it for the sake of my career. Josh, you look wonderful as always. I'm really liking this white, this beautiful white shirt that you're wearing. We're here in New York. It's 87 degrees boiling outside. Came into this room.

It was boiling hot inside. Sometime within the last 30 minutes, they have put the air conditioner on 40 degrees. And my teeth are literally chattering. And I feel like I'm actively getting pneumonia. What is this the time where you start to hate New York, love it, or nothing changes? This is the time where whenever I'm in. side of a building, I hate New York. I hate it. I love being outside. I love going to the park. We're big park goers. Did you frequent Central Park when you lived in the city? I would say the

normal amount for most New Yorkers. I think that Central Park, if it's possible, is severely underrated. I think that people do not appreciate the park and they do not go to the park to use it for whatever they want. You want to go for a run, a bike ride, play volleyball, do those little motorized sailboats, see a horse and wish that they were somewhere not in Central Park, lay on the lawn, take your dog. Central Park is fantastic. So I bring it up because on a warm weather day, you go to the park, you go by the river, the concrete walking in the streets, now's the time where you want to get the fuck out. You got to get out of that city. Yeah, I think we are, I think we're going to the Hamptons in July, as boozy as that says.

For a while? I think we're going for a month, yeah. Get out of Dodge. Things are going well for you guys. Yeah. Yeah, things are, you know, things are, things are what they are. Things are what they are. What are we going to do for podcasting out there?

Oh, we're going to set up a studio, have no fear. Okay, good. We're going to set up a beautiful remote studio the same way that we currently have a remote studio. I don't know if our listeners can tell that we're in different places. Because we do such an unbelievable job over la Zoom. But, yeah, we will be great. Sack Harbor, The Good Guys Live from Amaganzet. Come down.

Come down. By the way, I was in Chicago last week, and I've never, I think we have more fans in Chicago than we do in New York. I just love the Midwest. I love it too. And I'm just saying, if we do end up doing a Good Guys Live show, I'm pushing Chicago to the top of the list. Chicago is big city vibes with Midwest people.

It was beautiful. It was beautiful. I didn't get a chance to try any of the wonderful pizza. and the great Luminati did actually reach out offering to give me some pizza. I just didn't have any time. But the food there, the food scene looks amazing. It's amazing. And Chicago was an amazing city because it literally looks like Gotham.

Like it looks like it's from a comic book. And do you ever, and this is going to make our wives totally quietly resent us. If you think about, you know, we married two coastal gals, you know, two good coastal gals. But what if we met our Midwest Queens, a girl from Ohio, a girl from Milwaukee, a girl from Chicago? And like, what would our life be then? A lot of casseroles, a lot of casseroles. A lot of casseroles. Lakes.

I think life would be terrible because we need. Because we need life with our beautiful wives. But I think we should each get houses in the Midwest with them. How about that? How about we just get a nice sharehouse on Lake Michigan? Lake Michigan, great. It's massive. Massive. Gorgeous. Sure. The southern hospitality, the southern woman, the southern man, the South in general, all I got to say, fantastic. I love Midwest, South, all that whole everything but New York and L.A. Everybody is just better everywhere else.

I love it. It's Americana, babe. Whenever I do one of my college gigs, I go the first place, first stop. Guess where my first stop is? Chicago. No, no, no. I'm saying like once I get to these random, you know, tier two cities with respect, when I get to St. Louis, when I get to Iowa City, when I'm going around around. Oh, where do you go first? Where do I go first?

I get off the plane between my plane and the hotel. Denny's. Incorrect. It's a gas station. But a nice one. Because you have these marquee gas stations in these towns, right? I go in, first of all, I want to see what's local. Do they have a local potato chip manufacturer?

Do they have a local candy bar that you can only get in Des Moines? And then I'm going to stock up on primes, right? I love a gas station. And it's funny that you bring this up. New York City in particular has a huge gas station problem. Huge. They don't exist. They don't exist.

And I guess one could say that we have so many bodegas, a bodega on every corner, that does make up for the lack of the gas station. but I do absolutely love a beautiful gas station. A Wawa. Have you been to a Wawa? Oh, babe. A Wawa's out of control. We just had the great Miss Pat on in the great state of Georgia.

They have like these chains of gas stations that you could live in. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's the dream. It's the dream. You pop in there. There was a gas station upstate New York. We went during COVID.

We stayed in like the upstate New York area for like eight weeks. And there was this gas station where I swear to God, freshly made pizza to order. You order it five minutes. You get a nice, thin crust pie. They had fresh vegetables. It was basically like a small little supermarket. It's a complete game changer when you have a beautiful gas station. Yeah, a gas station.

I like a local, I just like a local mart. I have a supermarket about 0.8 miles away from my house. So most nights, I like to get some steps in, keep the thoughts at bay. try to exhaust myself so I fall asleep, so at least I have an eight-hour reprieve for my brain. I'm fine. And I'll walk and listen to a podcast or talk to a buddy, and I'll walk to the local supermarket, and I'll just peruse, and I'll pick up like a item. And I feel so Parisian, and it is the trashiest most white trash American supermarket you could ever go to.

But I might as well be in Paris. Have you ever gotten lost with time in a supermarket? Sure. I will go into a supermarket. It's a fatal flaw of mine. You know that I pace when I take phone calls. And I could just be in the supermarket for 45 minutes on a call and have picked up nothing. Yeah.

I literally, I sometimes think to myself, do these people think I'm crazy that work in this supermarket? And do they think that I'm here to like rob it or something? Because I've been in the supermarket for 40 minutes and I haven't picked up one single item. And then I'll hang up my call. I'll do my grocery shopping. I yeah it's it's a flaw of mine. Quince is it's incredible what do I want I want pieces that are high quality things that are going to be timeless that are classic shirts, sweaters, pants, things that I'm going to feel great in that I'm not going to look at in my closet in three months and go well it's time to do a thrift store run it's time to do a donation run no I want a piece that's going to be good to me for the next couple of years and that's quince look summer's here your wardrobe. needs an upgrade. And instead of a flimsy fast fashion hall, you're going to feel guilty, you're

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upgrade your closet this summer with Quince. Right now, go to quince.com slash good guys to get free shipping and 365 day returns in your next order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash good guys for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash good guys. I just need somewhere to walk and someone to talk to and I'll be at 30,000 steps. No, no problem. And I'll tell you recently, I was in Vancouver working and I had to go out two days early to do wardrobe and makeup and hair. and all kind of the preparation stuff, costume fittings. And between those two days, because I was alone, I was in the city that I love.

I've lived there for over a year with my family. And I know the places. It's a gorgeous walking city. I put in 59,000 steps in two days. Wow. 59,000? Yeah. Are your knees okay?

That's kind of fucked up. That's a marathon in two days. That's kind of fucked up. That's like a lot. But is it for a, yeah, it's too much. For a winner? For a straight hustler. It's too much.

I don't like it. We need longevity, Josh. I need you for a long time, not a good time. 59,000 is too much. I'm in it for a long time, not a good time. And I think that describes us. I just want to be, stay around and be miserable. I just want to be there.

Just like, what are you nuts? Until I'm 150. complaining about everything around me. My goal is long and horrible. But I, and you know what? That's the name of the episode, by the way. Here for a long time, not a good one. Yeah.

Brilliant. Wonderful work. And I, you know what? I'm scared to admit it because I hope my wife's not listening. And weirdly, she's started to listen to this podcast because it must be really good because she tries to steer clear of anything I do professionally. I was working for two days in Vancouver and it was two days of prep and daddy got to work. And I just said, you know what?

Usually I'm like eating my heart out whenever I go on these trips. I like rush back. I'll take the red eye out and I'll take the first flight back like 6 a.m. the next day. And I miss my family so much and I feel so guilty. But you know what? I said, no, no. This time I'm going to enjoy.

This time I'm going to have a good time. And I did. I had the greatest four days. Now, granted, the two days of working were fabulous because it was like on a great show with like great actors and an honor to be a part of it. But it's a great show, folks. You're going to be unbelievably excited.

Can't spoil it, can't. I'm under NDA. No, spoilers. Thank you. But I just, I had a fabulous, fabulous time. I felt like the Canadian Carrie Bradshaw traipsing around those streets of Vancouver looking for my Mrs. Big.

How many cigarettes did you smoke while you were in Vancouver? Oh, well, in Canada, they call them darts, which is fucking sick. Sick. So, like, you're hanging out with a Canadian guy and I'd be like, you want to fucking rip a dart, bro? How many darts you rip in? I didn't. I just, I, no darts? I suck down Zins and I, you know, it's funny, I went to go by Zin in Vancouver.

And I guess in Canada, they don't have them or they're not, they're just coming on the scene. And so I went into a cigar store there, a tobacco store. And I was like, do you sell Zinn? Like thinking it's like just like an average smoke shop. And he goes, no. He's like, we don't even have, we don't even have them. He's like, why, do you have them on you? Can I see one?

I was like, Jack, this is Zin. This is what Canada does. Canada takes the same thing. I only know it because of alcohol. They take alcohol, tobacco, all of those products. And the government sells them. That's right. So until the government is able to make money off them, you're not going to see them there.

That's crazy that they don't have any Zinn. The Canadians would love Zin. Zin, eh? Zin, eh? Hold on, I'm going to cut this part out, but let me see. I feel like it's manufactured in. No, it's made in Virginia. Okay, never mind.

By the way, that tracks that Zin's made in Virginia. Yeah, I don't know why. I was like, is this in Canada? But yeah, it was funny because the guy said to me, he's like, yeah, we're not allowed to have Zin because they say it's too. addictive. I said, sir, you're a tobacco store. I thought that was so odd. Sir, you are selling perhaps the most addictive substance ever. Ever. And they also, I always go to cigar stores in Canada, and I hope I don't get stopped at the border now, but because we have an embargo with Cuba,

but they'll have like really good Cuban cigars in Canada because they don't have an embargo. So, a lot of times I'll be like, oh, I'll smoke a Cuban while I'm here because I can't get them in America because I follow the rules. But there's such a tax that I just, they didn't have the brand that I liked, but I couldn't justify it. I did not know that you were a cigar smoker. I am now picturing you in a beautiful red velvet robe, nice, gold trim, fat cigar, perhaps a large sprite. Oh, man. Yeah, Sprite I could do anytime because sprites are zesty. But yeah, a nice, there's something, there's something respectable and very stately about a nice, nice stogie. You smoke a stick?

I wish more than anything that I could be the cigar guy, you know, God would that be fun. I have a difficult time stomaking them most of the time. Now, over the years I have learned, to properly smoke them. Fun story, the first time I ever smoked a cigar. Very, very small cigar shop, forget the name, but famous in New York City, probably 200 square feet, really small. A couple of couches, they bring out anything. The Havana, the Havana room? Is it on the Havana room? Isn't on like Madison or Fifth Avenue? No, no, downtown. I've since been to those. Those are great. Yeah, yeah. Moni, not Moni Carlo, the club Maconacinudo. The places uptown are awesome, but first time ever when I went downtown and I had no idea that you weren't supposed to inhale them. The only thing I had ever smoked in my life was a little bit of marijuana and a little bit of a cigarette. So I

literally took an entire cigar straight to my chest and ran outside and projectile vomited all over the street. Like absolutely miserable. So I took some time off from cigars there. But I do like cigars. smoke them and don't inhale them. I love that little mouth tingle. I love that little head high. I prefer a thinner cigar. I think they call them cigaros. Is that what they call them? Yeah, a swisher sweet. In Optimo, a Dutch master. Oh, okay, so you're very learned on them. But I like a smaller, thinner, lighter. I'm not a dark guy. I'm not a dark guy. Well, yeah, look, we can get you hooked up with a break. They call them breakfast cigars, which are just nice, light, smaller, easier smokes. But then those like the optimos, the swishers, the Dutchmasters, like those are, you know, 85 cent cigars, usually in a pack of five or you can get like a single at the bodega.

But to me, I'm like, do these only exist to make blunts? I'm like, because I just don't know a lot of people who are like, I could really go for a cherry swisher. I have also taken what was, what's the classic name of a blunt? Like what's the classic company that makes them, those cigars? Backwoods, Dutchmaster, Blackwoods. Black and mild. I have also inhaled an entire backwood. Backwoods are, backwoods tastes like the woods.

It tastes like you're smoking an oak tree. Awful. These are just terrible decisions in my early 20s, but love to love smoking. We've been on record. Smoking is cool. Cigar smoking in particular. Very cool. And what I do think that we should do, Josh, is the next time we're in person, we should

try to find a way to film an episode while smoking a cigar. Yes, I love that. Love it, love it, love it. Okay. And I want you to be drinking a really hearty whiskey. And I'll be drinking a very hearty iced tea or daquery. And it'll be, yeah, it'll be one for the ages. I love it.

I'm in. Before we transition, I just want to say that I had literally the best time of all time with Miss Pat on last week's episode. Amazing. I have to talk about her. I thought that she was just the most unbelievably hilarious woman I've ever, I think we've ever had on the show. And I know that everybody agreed, everybody loved it, rave reviews.

But shout out Mrs. Pat. Actually, this could come out earlier than Mrs. Pat. You guys, Mrs. Pat is going to blow your socks off. It is going to go out. Mrs. Pat is it. So when she comes out in the future or in the past, you are going to love her. But Brian from the office was good too.

Brian from the office, I was thinking the same thing. We are just the guests. Come off. Are you kidding me? Back to back bangers. And before that, the great fibula, Jake Shane, Kristen Doty. I'm just saying, we are listening to our wonderful good guys morons. And we are delivering in spades.

We are delivering. And I will say I'll give a quick update. I've heard back from the. the great Brooke Schofield of the canceled podcast. I really hope that's how you pronounce her last name. And she will be coming on the show when she can. Excellent. So we will see Brooke in 2026.

They are very successful and they are very busy. And God bless them. We are big fans of them both. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. God bless them. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

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New customers on first three-month plan only, speed, slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply cement mobile for details should we go to talk about some stories some happenings in the world sure sure what's happening in the world josh well there's the new york posts because you know they do the hard hard hitting stories i never returned my grocery card at the supermarket haters can judge all they want she will Really just can't be bothered. Really? Making a market run with the kids

and tow can be a pain. From forcing fussy tots into the car to attaining temper tantrums while shopping, then getting the little ones as well as the groceries into the backseat. It's a daunting task.

Well, I'm not returning my shopping cart. Married mom of two, Leslie Dobson, a psychologist from Los Angeles, spat in an unflinching TikTok. You can judge me all you want. The stone cold psych continue to explaining to her over 11 million viewers,

I'm not getting my groceries into my car, getting my children into the car, and leaving them in the car to go return the cart. So if you're going to give me a dirty look, fuck off. Stunned social media spectators were wildly grossed out by Dobson's ungracious grocery etiquette. You know, this is interesting, Josh. Tell me.

And I'm very happy that you brought this up, because at the beginning I was like, what are you nuts? Lady, you're going online and you're talking about now returning your grocery cart? That's not nice. That's not nice. That said, I think young mothers deserve a pass. I think that if you have a kid under the age, two kids under the age of two, perhaps you have

to strap them into their car seats. You don't want to leave them in a car. It's not worth somebody stealing your two kids for you to return that cart. So this is an extreme circumstance that said the average everyday person should return their car. It's the right thing to do. It causes problems when parking. Otherwise, you just have that rogue shopping cart in the middle of a space.

But I think that it sounds to me, young mother of two, leave the cart. No. I have strong feelings about bringing your cart back in general when you're obviously alone without kids. You're a single person. But you know this about me. Like, I think we need to make more small things our problem. Your shopping cart is definitely your problem. But as I said, like, if you're in your own neighborhood, and I'm not,

talking about something that feels like a toxic waste like that you need to call in a team to remove but there's like an empty bottle on the block of your neighborhood and you're walking pick it up throw it away like don't just assume there's someone out there to do it because yeah usually these things get solved but it's like it's so minor and you live there you're part of the ecosystem of that neighborhood but i just don't understand i have two kids a five and a one year old and this is just what I do and no judgment on another mother. I will have both my kids are in theory in the cart or now that my five year old's too big, the one year old's in the cart, the five year olds here. I'll load up my stuff into the car, right? You know I'm a big Costco guy. I love bulk. I am bulk.

Right. And I'll load it up. Then I will walk the cart with both kids back to the cart corral, put the cart in. I'll pick up my little guy. I'll have the hand of my son and we'll walk to the car. Like, can't, you know, we just do that. You know, I think I've swung in your direction. I would agree with you. I still say mothers with young kids get a pass basically on everything in life. I agree. But I do agree with you.

If we can each do a little something to make everybody's lives a little bit easier, then everybody's lives will be a little bit easier. Well, speaking of someone who's not making people's lives any easier, the New York repost, the New York reposts, The New York Post reports that terrible Zachary Quinto banned from restaurant for allegedly acting like an entitled child, making host cry. The Star Trek actor was blasted by a Toronto restaurant for allegedly mistreating the staff and causing a scene in front of other customers. Nope. It was a Mediterraneanish bistro and they went after Quinto because, let's see, they said that he yelled at our staff like an entitled child after he didn't reply to two texts.

to inform him his table was ready and refused to believe the empty tables in the dining room weren't available for him despite being politely informed they were spoken for made our host cry and the rest of our brunch diners uncomfortable mr quinto take your bad vibes somewhere else yeah awful we're we're on the same page on this one you got to be nice to the people that are you got to be nice people in general the people in the food service industry have to be nice to them right there's nothing worse than somebody that yells at a waiter like it's just it's just it's just terrible. Like, what are you doing? What are you nuts? Also, just, just so you know, annoying ass who is rude to your waiter or waitress, they are actively going to spit in your

food. Like, the more mean you are, the more spit will end up in your food. So, take it out on somebody else. I think you also have to, like, deal with the idea of it might, you might have picked this, you might have picked the short straw that day to deal with someone who's annoying, right? Like, I don't question. I've met quite the annoying host in my life. And more than a couple annoying waiters and waitresses who are over it. Recently, I was in New York. I was with my wife and my great friend, Brian Tenenbaum, shout out. And we go to a restaurant and they have room for two, right when we want to eat. But they don't have room for three. That's not for two hours. So you can get a table of two right now. You can't get a table of three

until 8 o'clock at night. So we go, can we just pull an extra chair up? Like, is this such a, it's one person. And this host was just standing on ceremony. He wanted nothing to do with it. He did not watch Drake and Josh. He did not watch Oppenheimer. And he was just, he was not going to give us any special treatment.

Now, I could have easily just been like, what's your problem, dude? Like, this is so easily solved. As we talked about, like, this small gesture would make me, love this restaurant so much. The food's clearly great. The ambience is great. And you're going to turn me off for like standing on ceremony here. But you know what?

I'm like, he's doing his job. I suppose it's my bad luck and we'll go somewhere else. You know? Yeah, I do. I do. It sucks. It is what it is. But yeah, you just,

you can't say anything. You can't, you can't be rude to those people. He can't. No. It is what it is. It is what it is. Have you ever?

I had a moment in Chicago, by the way. I know we spoke a long time ago, but the guy that gave us. free Corona Isis in Queens. And as a result, we needed to pay five times for the Corona Isis because we had to tip him. And the exact same thing happened to me in Chicago, I walked in to get a cup of coffee. And I asked for a ice, cold brew, some milk.

She's like, oh, don't worry, honey. It's on me. I'm like, God damn it. Now that it's on you, I only have a 20 in my pocket. I'm not going to ask you to break it so I can tip you. So my $6 coffee just cost me 20. Stop giving me free things. Let me pay.

Let me pay. Oh, you poor thing. Let me pay. You poor, poor thing. Should we get into another movie that I recently saw that came out 30 years ago? Please. Or are we over this? Yes.

Yesterday, Claudia and I spent five hours. It wasn't a movie. It was a show watching Chernobyl. Have you seen Chernobyl? But it only came out a few years ago. I haven't, but I'm a huge fan of the creator of that show, Craig Mason, who did Chernobyl and did that show the last show. of us. He's a genius. Chernobyl was a lot.

Yeah. A lot. It was intense. It was very sad. You know the story or no? Chernobyl? Yeah. Yeah. You do you know it. Okay. So sorry, Mr. Genius. You know, it was sort of big. My apologies. Mr. Genius. You're familiar with Vietnam. Well, to those listeners that don't know what Chernobyl is,

freaking terrible. Like, just like this poison that came from this nuclear plant just completely devastated so much of Russia. It's a crazy fucking story. And watching, it was just so sad. Like, watching these people that these firemen, these miners, these people that went in there. to help save the lives of, we think, millions of people died under the age of 40.

You get this nuclear goo on your arm and your arm literally burns off within a second. Like, nuclear shit is, we don't fuck with it. We don't like it. It's no good. No, nuclear power is actually awesome. That's a problem. Yes, yes, yes. Just say more.

Say more. What you can attest to in Chernobyl, what you find out is that basically every fail safe that should have been, it was a nuclear reactor meltdown. And every failsafe that should have been in place was not. But do we agree, Josh, that we have humans running this so these fail safes are bound to happen? But this was- Because human beings are idiots? This was pretty egregious. Like, this was just a total malfunction of all the protections that should have been in place. But yeah, I mean, there was obviously in Japan in the last, you know, 15 years, there was another nuclear power meltdown, but nuclear reactor meltdown. But it's an amazing technology.

It's pretty limitless. It doesn't put any bad shit in the air. Until it explodes. And every now and then it explodes. And that's a no bueno. All I can tell you is that I immediately Googled, do we have any nuclear plants in New York? And we don't. Well, three mile island.

Where did you say? Well, the Three Mile Island, which was in New Jersey, right? That's the famous nuclear meltdown near New York. But I will say for the great people of Georgia, you guys are fucked. You have a million of them. Really? You have a little. Yeah, there are a lot of them.

I think it was like 10. They're like 10 nuclear plants in Georgia, which I found shocking. And then, of course, I went down the rabbit hole of, okay, because the whole thing is like, oh, it's going to poison all the water and everybody's going to drink it and die. So I looked up New York tap water. You know, New York tap water is loaded with lead. Cute. Just saying.

Do I now give up on tap water or I keep drinking it? I think, hey, listen, I've had strep throat. I never met my dad. You think a little microplastics is going to bring me down? No. I take too many antidepressants to be affected by microplastics. Okay. I'm down.

So I keep drinking tap water, even though we have lead. Lead-ish, the new show. It's the new show from now starring Anthony Anderson. It's leadish. What was the other one? There was blackish and then what was the second one? Spenglish. No, that's Adam Sandler movie.

I think there was a spin-off. There was mixed-ish. Yeah, okay. Good show. Watched it on planes. You know what show I recently got into on the Paramount Plus app was Seal Team. You ever watch that one? It's just, you know, it's pretty well done.

It's still like a one-hour network drama, so it's not a, exactly like Chernobyl, but it's just fun. There's a mission. I like, I like that these boys are thick, which most seals that I've had the pleasure in the honor of meeting have been like, they're capable. They're not like, you know, these wafy actory types who are like, you know, look like they're on that natural ozempic. Like these guys are thick as a trisket and they're out there just, you know, saving the world. Just fun. That's the dream body for me. Thick and strong. Yeah. Like that I really like.

Like you look at that guy and you're like, oh, he's thick. But then you feel his muscle and it's like a freaking boulder. Yeah. Like that's the dream. Now I'm thick and nothing. There's nothing here. Thicken goo. Thick and goo.

But you look great. I want thick and strong. You look great, man. You really look great. Thank you. I appreciate it. But I would like that just like strong. That stomach that looks really fat, but you punch it and it's really fucking strong.

Yeah, but that can... That would be fun. That can also be bad. When certain guys, like, have the belly and it's rock hard, that means their visceral fat has become so much that their heart is on death store. Really? But that's, like, the beer belly. Like, that's, like, that's not like the, like, where they're built like a keg.

That's when they just have... Yeah. That's what I mean. I mean, like, when they're just, they have that just, like, layer of thickness, but it's strong thick. Should we listen to a speak pipe? I would love to. Same here.

Oh, this one is an easy one from Devin. Mazel, mazel. I was wondering if either of you have gotten into any serious trouble with your wife's for something that you've said or shared on the pod, if you can talk about it. No. Anytime I've ever said anything even questionable, I immediately go to Claudi and say I said something questionable. Should I cut it? And she'll either say yay or nay.

Josh? My wife just basically called me out recently where she was like, you know, you have a thing that you do, which is you say, you know, my beautiful wife, my gorgeous wife, my perfect wife, and then you proceed to talk a gang of shit. You do do that. So well said, Paige, well said. You do do that. And I can't do it here with our hundreds of thousands of listeners.

Who can I do it with? My shrink? Totally. With our millions of listeners. This next one is from Allison. Hi, Josh and Ben. My name is Allison. I'm super thrilled to be leaving my first ever speak pipe with you guys.

Guys were really good. I'm insanely hungover, so I'm going to try to make this as quick and painless as possible for all of us. I just tried a new cafe for the first time, and they charged me 50 cents for half and half from the, you know, from the teats of a hopefully gorgeously humanely treated cow. Maybe that's what I was paying for. Maybe there was a premium that I didn't necessarily agree to. But, you know, this was one of the cafes that has, like, I saw pistachio milk was an option, just like, you're milking pistachios.

Like, it's awesome for whatever that's awesome for. But what are you nuts? I got charged for cow's milk. And whole milk was zero cents extra. Ah, weird. I think she tried to just. Weird. upsell me for the sake of upselling me and I'm confused.

Like, what is your guys' opinion on the upcharging for the various milks? That's a good question. It is. I would say that half and half definitely goes into the general, general varieties of milk. We have skim, we have whole. Honestly, there's four. Skim, whole, half and half cream. Those four, they come with your car.

You pay for the coffee. You want a splash of any of those four, no problem. But as I'm thinking about it, Josh, they need to pay for the half and half the cream, the skim, the whole. The same way that they have to pay for the almond, which we have become totally accustomed to paying for, or the oat, or the, where do you draw the line? I think Starbucks, it's fine. Starbucks, you can order any of those milks. but you know it's interesting half and half should certainly you shouldn't charge for it but then why charge for the almond? I agree with you and you're right if you have the fucking audacity to be charging over $6

for a beverage, okay let's draw a line at this and I know there are people who live in parts of the country who are like $6 what are you nuts but let's talk about like these annoying liberal cities no I'm kidding but like let's talk about like the bougie coffee shops where like easily just say

drip coffee or an ice coffee could be six bucks. You get into a latte macchiato territory. You're talking 7-8-9. Yeah. If you have the audacity to be charging that much, milk not only needs to be assumed, but it cannot be an upsell. It cannot.

If it, to your point, is a latte where 90% of the drink is, I don't know, you're having some odd pistachio milk latte thing. Okay, maybe then I get it if you're talking about an expensive milk. But other than that, if we're talking about a splash, 55 cents for a splash? It's highway robbery. It's absolutely nuts.

It's completely unacceptable. Josh, quickly before we move on from coffee, I recently discovered, I think, a new favorite drink. Hmm. I went up to, I did a mobile order on Starbucks, went to pick up my order. I don't know if you've done that, but it's a fantastic. It's the best. Accidentally picked up somebody else's coffee. It happens.

It looked like mine. His name is Brian instead of Ben. I take a sick. I'm like, what the hell is this? It was chai. And I'm just here to tell you, I love chai. Oh, me too, babe. I'm now getting two, three shots of chai in my coffee.

I absolutely love the flavor. I think it's delicious. It reminds me of the holiday season. And that's all. I just wanted to share that I have a new beverage, which is chai shots in a really, really nice iced coffee. If we have an Indian spinoff to our pot, Are we the chai guys or are we good chies?

Ooh. Chie guys. Chie guys. Love that. In. Love it. Wow. Wow.

We just took over Southeast Asia. In. In. I see us in Delhi doing a meetup. And I see us in the deli. That's what I'm saying. Maybe we do a collab. We bring Delhi to Delhi.

Oh my God. The chai guys bring Delhi to Delhi. My mind is exploding. I don't know. I'm ready to be this rich. Should we get to our What Do You Nuts? Yes, we should. Woody Nuts is a part of our show where we talk about our gripes with people, places and things,

things that are sticking in our crop, both big and small, whatever's grinding our gears, at this point and time. I got to start, and it's very simple. Hey, if the waiter comes over and you've been sitting for longer than 10 minutes at the restaurant, be ready. What are you nuts? I was watching a couple the other day. They must have been on quite the date.

This poor waiter came over three times. Hi, so you ready to put in your order? Oh, my God, we haven't even, no, we haven't looked. Are you ready? Do you know? I don't know. No, we haven't looked. Can we have a few more minutes?

This poor waiter must have been figuring out a way to poison their food because it's just like, I get it, you sit down, maybe there's an overzealous waiter. You know me. I'm a parent and a heathen. So I'll sit down. They'll be like, can I get you a drink? I'll be like, how about my entree? You know, I'm ready to go.

I've already looked at the menu in the car on the way. But listen, maybe one time you send the waiter away. That waiter comes by a second time. Be ready to order. What are you nuts? Nuts. Absolutely nuts. That is a great one, Josh.

The other day, I'm walking my beautiful furry, new furry son, Romeo, because my old furry son Theo is dead in the ground. my new furry son Romeo on the streets of Manhattan. And across, I don't know, or right in front of us, maybe six to eight feet, there's a steaming pile of shit. Like a huge shit. But I see it. I see it.

I'm walking with Romeo. All of a sudden, this guy to my left looks at me and screams, watch you! And I, the way that I stood up like I was like about to be attacked by like somebody with a knife. He's like, there's a huge pile of shit in front of you. Watch out. I'm like, what are you nuts? I saw it. I'm right in front of it. There was no need. No need for this. Watch out. No need to scream at me and scare me so that I made my own pile of shit in my own undies. We saw the pile of shit. There were no issues. You created an issue. The hysteria's got

a stop. What are you nuts? Love it. Make the hysterious stop. I guess that's the nuts. You have no idea. I was so spooked. You're right. I was spooked. I was freaking spooked. I don't. And you just can't yell watch out in New York unless there's something really to watch out for. Like a swerving car. Right. Right. Or a guy with a machete or something. Like, New York is crazy. So if you yell watch out, it's crazy.

It's not there's a pile of shit in front of you. Thank you. Is that our show? Thank you for listening to The Good Guys podcast. Go for it, Ben. Take us home. I guess that's our show, yeah. You can catch us Mondays and Thursdays, folks.

Double the fun. You can listen to us on Spotify. Apple, watch us on Josh's YouTube so you can see us interact, having a great time. Even if you listen to us, you should still watch us just because it's fun. Listen to it twice. Why not? are our clips. Follow us on good guys. TikTok. We're blowing up on the talk, Josh. We are just blowing up. China loves us. TikTok, TikTok, Instagram. And, uh, yeah, we'll catch you next time.

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