Good Guys - Bern Baby Bern with Hannah Berner

Episode Date: February 29, 2024

Get ready for a hilarious and candid conversation as comedian Hannah Berner joins the podcast! From discussing the ideal first date (hint: simplicity is key) to sharing some unexpected discoveries about her mom's nightstand, Hannah keeps the laughs coming! Alongside insights into her married life and her thoughts on abs and dating, Hannah dives into the world of stand-up comedy and even weighs in on controversial topics like Joe Coy's recent speech. Plus, get ready for some straight-talk as Hannah and the hosts tackle listener questions and debunk some questionable "national days." It's a rollercoaster of laughter and relatable moments you won't want to miss! *this pod description was written by ChatGPT* What are ya nuts?!?! Leave us a voicemail here! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: squarespace.com/goodguys to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain  Robinhood Gold gets you the most for your retirement thanks to their IRA with a 3% match.This offer is good through April 30. Get started at Robinhood.com/boost. Subscription fees apply. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Sauffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Welcome to the Good Guys podcast. We have an illustrious guest here.

We had the first half of her, her Ben, some might say, last week, Paige DeSorbo. And now we have the one and only comedian, which I hate that term. Just comic, comedian, hilarious person. Hannah Berter. Anna, burner, welcome to good guys. That was an incredible intro. I appreciate that, Josh. Should there have been anything else added?

Like, how do you describe yourself? Oh, we're going there? Yeah. I do think that's, what are your pronouns? That's like a first date when someone's like, so what do you like to do? And you just blank out and you're like, what do I do with my hands? I don't know what's going on. Yeah.

But no, I just like to make silly jokes and try to run from my own thoughts. That's pretty much all I do. Same here. Okay, cool. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Because people are always like, oh, you had a great guess. It would have been great if you introed them. Like, I think everybody knows who you are. But just in case they don't because we reach such like a mass audience. Like, I don't know if you know this is like top five podcasts. No, I do have to say good guys. I love your clips. Yeah.

I mean, you guys are crushing the game. Yeah. And I appreciate that. I support men in the arts. Yeah. I do. We are men in the arts, Josh. Finally, someone getting behind cisgender white men.

Finally. We're artistic men. I like to build you up and they'll break you down. Yeah, good. I'm excited for you. We're going on an emotional roller coaster together. are together. I would like to ask, because I do have strong feelings about it, what is a great first

state? Like, to you guys, what do you think is the best location approach to a first state? That's a good question. I hate when it's too much activity. Like, I don't want to also feel like I have to, like, walk or, like, watch something. Like, I just want to eat and interact with someone and see if we vibe. Like, you know, they're like, I'll go to a movie. And I'm like, are you just going to try to finger me awkwardly on the side of my leg the whole time?

Yeah. That's what I was going to say. I haven't been on a date in like a decade. I know. All that I was trying to do when I was dating at 20 was like, yeah, like, let me just like see a glimpse of something. Like just like, like, like, like anything. Like a great first date for me. Just let me get a great smooch.

Like back then, if I had no smooch, that was a terrible. The fact that you said smooch makes me feel like you don't know how to kiss. No, no. I, I, I, you know. We use smooch, we use canoodle. Our moms watch the show. We try to keep a very TV. Oh, sorry, I already made a fingering joke.

No, no, it's fine. We do it too. Our moms have been fingered. It's all good. They have. They have. Confirm. I thought that moms just have sex, like, the amount of times they have the children.

And there's no foreplay. Yeah. No. I think, unfortunately, there is. We're moving on. People are. Talk about that enough because as a woman with a vibrator, you can't just leave it out like a succulent. Like you have to, so I would hide it for myself. And then the wrong person always finds it.

Like they're like, oh, can I borrow these Nike shoes? Why is there a rabbit in your Nike shoes? Or once I went to a vintage store and I was trying to give a purse like to see if they wanted to buy it. And they were like, oh, we don't want this. And I'm like, this is a cool purse. And inside was just like a huge pink tilt. No. Because I, you hide it, and I forget where I put it. I don't have like a whole drawer of like sex toys. I'm not that organized. You don't have like a side table, like a nightstand?

I have, look, don't, this is New York City. We're all struggling here. I don't have a drawer in my nightstand. Okay, you don't have to brag about you and Claude's new place. You know, it's pretty crazy. You're fucking nightstands. We just accidentally bought nightstands without drawers. It happened.

And all I have to say is, what are you nuts? What's the point? What's the point of a nightstand without a drawer? No, it shows my nightstand. My nightstand is like my Envisaline that I haven't used for seven days. Yeah. And then like books that I'm not reading. Some diary that I started with one sad sentence and then was like a lamp.

Do you have a lamp on the nightstand? Yes. Or like a reading lamp that I don't use. Yeah. And then just like change. Can you imagine though like the naming like the naming meeting for vibrators at like the marketing company? Like they're giving out animals or like maybe we call like the badger. And they're like no, no, no.

Like, we got to go small, cute animal, like rabbit only. And all I have to say is these companies have cash. They have cash, these vibrating companies. Oh, yeah. They're just like throwing Adam and Eve, Balesa. If I see another Balesa ad for my own wife. But there is. Shout out cardio.

She's like this home was paid for by Bolesa. I actually, one of the first ever deals I ever did as an influencer was with the vibrators. Adam and Eve. With Balesa. With Belaes. Because I think they were like, oh, this comedian silly girl will do it because some of the like high-end girls wouldn't. And then my family members were like, so Hannah's doing dildo ads on Instagram, is she okay? And I'm like, it's sexual wellness.

And also the more you orgasm, the less chance you have of like being mean. Yeah, I think so. Let's just start in case. Rumor here. Like more orgasms lead to less Alzheimer's. Let's just say it. Let's try. Josh, you could be completely.

right? Because no one's ever done research on female orgasms. So like it could be because they're a man. I think female orgasms might be a conspiracy theory. Like are those even real? Has anyone experienced one? That's like one of the, that's one of those classic things though that like we haven't researched this thing about women because men are the worst. Like why can't, why can't you do it? Why can't you? Why can't you fund it? Why can't you fund it? Why can't you bring in a pool of money? Go to a school and start the test. Because women weren't allowed to have credit cards until 40 years ago. Great.

You've had 40 years. Is that a true stat? I mean, it sounds good. It sounded good. It sounded good. But there is such a good. There's like a double standard because, so there's a sex toy double standard, right? Because if a girl has a vibrator, it's like, you know, normal, healthy, great.

Like, if a man has any sex toy, they're a fucking creep. No. Call the police. And same thing with like, same thing with making out. Like my buddy Ian Finance says a joke where he goes, if. Girls make out it's cute. If I make out with Ben, we're not friends anymore. I actually love Ian.

Shout out Ian. He's the best. That quirky motherfucker. I also was, I asked guys in my like, I'm hand in the street videos, do you think women have ever faked an orgasm with you? And I want to know what you guys think. No. No.

I don't. My wife is very, very direct. True. My wife is very direct. If I, I think it takes a very direct. very, very, like, respectful is the wrong word because Claudia couldn't be more respectful. It takes a very, it takes a big pussy. People please.

The girl needs to be a huge pussy. But sometimes it's not even a pussy. It's like, no, it's like, don't you want it? If you want it, then you need to tell me that I didn't get it. And like, you're like, you know what? I didn't even really want to do this tonight. And like, let's wrap it up. And I want him to feel good.

Six minutes. Six minutes. Six minutes. I'm asleep. Ben's quite the lover. You're like, oh, I need to check my email. And you're just like, ah. And then. everyone's happy and you don't have to be like oh you don't have to strategize you don't like sometimes

you're not in the mood but he's in the mood yeah and you want to make him feel a little good but also like i don't think i should be fake orgasmic Josh what about you you've been very quiet well i will counter with that i have faked an orgasm before so iconic welcome to my life a feminist icon how i just was like oh and i just quickly turned around and like i was like i better go clean clean clean up an eye on me what did she what did she do to you she was mean she wasn't nice it was like not fun like halfway through i was just like nah it was she revealed herself once of the act was was we were in process after the first date yeah she would like halfway halfway there she was like you know you jews are all the same i was like whoa no okay wait and how soon after did you propose

dare you. That's my wife. Wait, but or was she mean because you didn't give her an orgasm? I mean, we both, we certainly both were not having orgasms and it was early on

in the process, but to echo Ben's point, I have asked my wife this before and I actually just think she's so not interested in making me feel good about myself, but she wouldn't think it. Like, one in ten times, maybe one in 20 times even now.

My wife would be like, I don't think it's going to happen tonight. And I'll be like, okay, we gave it a try. We'll stay married. Yeah. And like you'd rather get a good tip. No, you're right. So that for in the future, you're talking again to two very monogamous.

It's very different. Wait, do you realize we're all married here? Yes, we are. I don't know the last time I've been like a bunch of just old maids. Yeah. We're old maids. You're not, but we're young at, we're young at heart. Yes.

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with your marriage? Because I feel like I don't see it on your profile a lot. But maybe, I don't know if I I show it a lot. So I do have a podcast. with my husband. Oh, never mind. No, no, no. But you're right. In terms of like, no, when creating funny content, for example. Yeah, like TikTok, he's not on.

He's another comic. So, like, we love creating content together. But I think because we did reality TV for a second together in the past, we felt a little like used. So it's like we don't like to use our relationship just for like gossip and likes. Yeah. We like to use it when we're just putting out good content. He's not as into the TikTok stuff.

Like he likes posting. the standup or like podcasting. So he'll talk an hour on podcast with me, but like, if I'm like, hey, you want to make this stupid TikTok video, he's like, I'm good. And like, I respect it. Yeah, yeah. I respect him having boundaries. It's kind of hot.

Polar opposites, though. Like, if Claudia is like getting my tech, I'm like, oh my God. Yes. Yes. Reach. I've made it. Reach. No, I think if Des was like that, he'd be in every TikTok.

Like, I do love creating with him. Yeah. But I think he comes from like an older school mentality of like, let's focus on writing the good jokes. And I recently saw a hilarious clip of his that popped up on my, I guess it wasn't for you feed if it wasn't TikTok. I guess, he does post on TikTok. I got him to. It was, it was something about him growing up in China or China. Yes. Yes. Great bit. Great bit. You guys have to watch his special. It just came out on YouTube just not to support my husband. But I feel like you guys have similar sense of humor as him. And you would enjoy it. Yeah, he randomly speaks Mandarin. And he's like very smart. And that's honestly, the biggest issue in our relationship is I can't trick him. Like, he like wins arguments. It's a very weird dynamic.

Like, I like respect his mind. So like, the like time I win an argument is because he's older, so he'll get tired. Like, he'll be like, you know, yeah, it's fucking 8 p.m. Like, I'm good. Like, whatever you want. And I'm like, yes. I need to go on TikTok. Did you always imagine you'd marry an older guy?

Great question. No. I had a psychic reach out to me during COVID. Things were dark. We were scared. I was talking to psychics. And she goes, you're going to be with someone who's not your type. And I was like, what does that mean?

Like, is he short? I don't know. This is back then. Now I like all heights. Not for me, but like I support all heights. I'm not height. I'm a little, anyway. But I was like, what do you mean?

And then she was like, yeah, he's walking towards you. And I'm like, that's weird. I'm on Long Island. So there's like water. But he during COVID was an island. And then he flew to Long Island during COVID and saw that I was out east and we met. And then I was like, this old man is the one. Because I've never been with an older guy.

Like I've been with a guy like he was like 35 and I was 27. And that was like, but Des was the first ever. I'm not like a girl who has like a, I'm not into, I wasn't into teachers growing up. I wasn't into Zadis. I like the guys my age. Do you ever think that psychics just like take like family members of theirs and like put them in situations that they can be right. Like maybe it was like the psychic's daughter or the psychic son.

Like, oh, you're going to meet this older guy. Oh, Jerry. She's in my office now. He doesn't believe any of the psychic stuff. And I don't not not, but like, I'm not going to, if someone tells me something, I'm going to be like, let's at least consider it, okay? We don't know. I know that I don't know.

But he's, he definitely thinks that they ask things that they just, there's a method to it. Yeah, cold. So anyway, I took, exactly. So I told myself this. This woman on Instagram DM, she knew. So then I met him, I said that's, he's the one. Josh knows so much about everything or so little.

Just enough. Definitely. Josh knows just enough. Josh knows what the fuck's going on. Josh knows just enough about everything to partake at a level in a conversation that I can't even understand. It's a great skill. How do you even know that term?

It's a great skill. Josh, have you ever done one of those like celebrity readings? like people who died in your family, like Tyler Henry or something? No, I've been asked. I don't even remotely believe in it even a little bit, and it's because it's born out of nerd history in my life.

I'm such a magic guy. So I love magic growing up, and as Jews, we love taking credit for other Jews. The great Harry Houdini, aka his real name, Edik Weiss, which sounds like a guy we went to Hebrew school, Ben, with him. Eddick Weiss, I wonder why he changed his name.

Edic Weiss. When he died. Oh, Eric Weiss. But it was... Eric Weiss? Yes, but he's a German, so it was Edik Weiss. No, no, I understand, but I didn't get the Eric Weiss. Okay, yes, continue.

And he said to his wife, when he was passing away, he was like, listen, I'm a magician, and it's like, you know, the early 1900s. People are going to say, like, mediums and psychics and these mentalists are going to say that they're like channeling me, right? Like they're talking to me beyond the grave. So let's have a code word that if they say the code word, you'll know it's me. And she said, great, no one has ever gotten the code word.

Wait, I'm obsessed with him. That's like fun. I want my husband to do that when he does. Yeah. I want to be like, what's our code word pineapple? Yeah. I love that. Wait, that's fascinating.

That's really. See, I tried to believe. believe that, you know, in a lot of cultures, there's always that like older, wiser person that has like a good intuition. Like, I believe in intuition and maybe people can, people have been like, oh, maybe you're a little psychic. And then I'll like go in a cab and I'll be like looking at the driver like, what is he thinking? And then I'm like, oh, fuck it. And I give up after like three minutes. I'm like, this fucking taxi driver doesn't, isn't connecting with me on a deeper level. Yeah, yeah. But it's fun. It's fun to believe there may be someone who knows something about our

purpose in life. Do you think, I don't mean to gender it, but I feel like like law and order SVU, women tend to like psychics more. Why do you think that is? For sure. That's a great question. It's like why women like astrology, do you guys believe in astrology? No. No. Do you play fantasy football? Uh, no. I have. I have. No. I've dabbled and fantasy football as well. They're both, they're both pretty similar. I tell me how. It's about positions, predicting what's going to happen the next week thinking it's real when it's not. Understood. Okay, that's fair. And I love fantasy football.

But I say everyone has their things that they try to make real. I joke also if maybe if you believe in astrology, you would know which quarterback is like going to have a shitty week. You can do better. But I guess Australia, it's like fun. I'm not a religious person. I grew up in Brooklyn, New York. I'm like half Jewish, half mutt.

Actually, my dad's dad. got punched in the face by a rabbi when he was like seven years old and denounced religion, which was pretty badass for like, what do you do? He deserved it probably. He was, you know, a talker. He deserved it. No, yeah. And then the nuns on the other side are slapping everyone.

Like everyone was getting hit on my family. So yeah, I grew up with like no religion. So maybe it's like the one thing where I like to be like, oh, for a second, I could think like, that's because I'm a Leo. Yeah. Yeah. I just want you to know that we'll bring you into, like you, you could be, we'll, Well, Judaism.

I mean, I have dated, I've dated very Jewish guys in the past. Yeah. And the moms, like, accepted me. I obviously would have to convert. But like, I dabbled. I also, when I went to Wisconsin, everyone was like, you're Jewish. Yeah, Jewish. I was exotic in Wisconsin.

I went to school, University of Wisconsin. Did you go to University of Wisconsin? Yeah, go badgers. Yeah, I played tennis there. Yeah, I played tennis there. That's cool. Oh, yeah. So it's not random for you because it's your life.

Unbelievable tennis player. Oh, I know. I listened to you on Are You Garbage. and it was really compelling. Oh my God, thank. It's so funny because I went on, Are You Garbage, ready to be like, I'm fucking garbage.

And then I was like, I did grow up in Parksville, Brooklyn, and I played tennis, so this is awkward. But I am garbage. I think I'm a garbage human that happened to just pick a country club sport. I was playing in Brooklyn,

like in like shitty venues all the time. So what are your thoughts on pickleball? As a real, as a tennis player. Oh, good question. So I haven't played it yet because I'm afraid if I start, I'm going to get addicted. I'm going to want to go on,

poor. Like, I have a lot of friends who were former pros who are now playing. I'm like, my comedy career would go in the shit. I'd be like, who wants to play another game? I do think it's great. I feel like so many people would play tennis if it wasn't so fucking difficult. The sport is so difficult. Yeah.

Like, you know how, like, guys will play football in college who never played football in their life, but they played basketball and they're just really athletic and they're like, you're six, seven and fast will put you on the team. Like, tennis, I had to start at like six years old to get a full scholarship. at 21. Like the skill set and the mental, it's so crazy in that way. But I do think it's similar to stand up, which is why I think I've been enjoying stand up because you're like alone out there. There's a lot of variables. But long story short, I think pickleball helps more people get involved in the paddle sports, which I love. Sometimes it's the sound is annoying for tennis players.

Like if you're in your bubble or and you're playing tennis and there's pickleballers next to you and it's just like, doink, doink, doink. And you're like, I have a migraine already. Like I'm already stressed about everything. And then sometimes they're converting tennis courts to pickleball courts, which I guess tennis players get upset about. Yeah. I thought that you'd have a worse reaction to pickleball. You're a lover of all paddle sports.

I love all paddle sports. I also think that I might get some fun charity. Yeah, I might get some fun charity pickleball gigs, I think, in the future. That's what I'm toking on. So I support the pickleball community. There's a lot of money in pickleball. Yeah, I support it. Go for it.

Yeah. Blesa and pickleball. You'll crush it. I know David Doebrick was a tennis player, growing up in high school. Oh, I didn't know he was a tennis player. And now he's like pickleball. Not like you.

Not like pro pro, but like, you know, he played in high school. And he's pickleball obsessed. And I think just in general, the obsession with pickleball, first of all, I just, I don't really believe in being competitive in anything that doesn't make you money. Like that kills me. I also find like, I also feel like. the toxic energy of men into sports past collegiate sports is like if you get injured playing a sport in your 40s give up give up no but that's my husband he's always injured like he's injured

himself skiing which I guess is a hobby no one feels bad that's cute that's skiing that's okay he was trying to have he was on a double black at 48 but I'm not going to get into it bless him bless him scary what was it a wipeout oh he fell for like a thousand feet, like just rolled down the mountain, ruined our ski vacation. It was so selfish and attention seeking. But no, you're so right. I think it's an ick when a guy has abs in his like late 20s or 30s and he's not a professional athlete.

Oh, good. What is, what is it for? Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. Those guys, they're counting their micros and macros, which is like exhausting. They're judging you for what you're eating. Yeah.

And it clearly like they're overcompensating for something that they. have to have like 3% body fat not for a reason unless you're making money from your abs why the fuck do you have abs totally amen because you don't need abs to be healthy clip it needs to be healthy someone say it's unhealthy it's unhealthy it's unhealthy it's an unhealthy obsession to get down to that perfect skull i do think yeah the extremes neither are good neither are good no yeah if you see guy with abs you're like so during the times you've been at the gym you could have been in therapy working on yourself. Could have. No, but I love you guys being like male voices in like the body space. In the semi-glutide realm. But in general also just like talking about your weight. I don't know.

Yeah. Well, it's easy. When you're fat, you're comfortable talking about like trying to get less fat. Yeah. And like these like ripped guys like don't want to admit that they're like injecting themselves. Josh and I talk about this all the time. Yeah. No, it's good that you're talking about. The reason you look like that and I don't look like that is because you're doing something to your body. that I'm not doing. Yeah. Injections, proteins, not collagen. What is it?

Protein. All this random crap. Nobody looks like that just because it's normal. Yeah. You think what was that guy's name, Josh? The liver king? You think the liver king? Liver king just by going on the treadmill?

No, it's not from like the 19 ox legs that he ate or like a, you know what I mean? Like a fox heart? Liver king is up to his eyes and testosterone. It's sick. Is that why he looks like that? Like, why do you think gay guys have the best body? It's honestly gay to have a six-pack. Clip it.

I like it. By the way, you as a girl, you can say. Men having gorgeous bodies for the gays. You as a girl, you can say me and Josh as straight men. We step back. And we appreciate. And we appreciate. I'm really close to the gay community.

Yeah. Well, we have a wonderful person from the community. Marshall, can we, Any thoughts? Yeah, if you have a six-packer day. There we go. There we go. There we go.

Oh my God. He gets it. See, he gets it. And because Marshall said it, now we can all agree. Correct. That is correct. I agree with Marshall. If this podcast gets bigger, our next two hires, if we make sure they're diverse, this podcast is fucking bulletproof.

We are going to have every voice represented. We just need people to constantly gut check jokes with before we laugh. But you know what? Is that cool, Jimmy? Yeah, all right. At least we're having conversations. These are important conversations between the straits and the gays understanding each other and bringing them together. These are.

Tyrone, did they like that? We're good. It's our paying Marshall. So the power dynamic is a little weird. So I don't know if he's being forced to agree with us. Oh, Josh, that was good. Oh, that was good. Oh, man.

Oh, that was good. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Robin Hood. Did you know that even if you have a 401K for retirement, you can still have an IRA? Robin Hood has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robin Hood gold. But get this. Now through April 30th, Robin Hood is even boosting every single single single. single dollar you transfer in from other retirement accounts with a 3% match. That's right, no cap on the 3% match. Robin Hood Gold gets you the most for your retirement, thanks to their

IRA with a 3% match. This offer is good through April 30th. Get started at robin hood.com slash boost subscription fees apply. And now for some legal info. Claim as of Q1, 2024, validated by radius global market research. Investing involves risk, including loss. Limitations apply to IRAs and 401Ks. Three percent match requires Robin Hood gold for one year from the date of the first three percent match. Must keep Robin Hood IRA for five years. The three percent matching on transfers is subject to terms and conditions. Robin Hood IRA available to U.S. customers in Good Standing. Robin Hood Financial LLC. Member SIPC is a registered broker dealer. No, I was just to say, see you have a Netflix special. Oh, my God.

Wow. It's pretty freaking dope. Thank you. I actually, I forgot about it, but I announced it, but I don't film it till March, so I have exactly a month, and it's my first ever special. Where are you filming it? In Philadelphia at the Fillmore. Hell yeah. Because I hadn't, I hadn't done shows in Philly in a while. The Fillmore's great. The Fillmore's great. Yeah. The Philly audience, they're, you know, they're loud. They love to chant. They're smart.

They're just like passionate. So you just, and I'm filming two shows and then you pray. We pray to the astrological gods. It'll be great. It'll be great. Thank you. Well, I mean, Claude's done multiple specials. Yeah.

So I want to talk to her about just the mental process of, because as a standup, yeah, I'm posting clips, but like I'm not doing a full performance that's recorded. And also the experience of watching stand up on TV versus being in the room is different. Yeah. And then the editing process. It's a whole new thing. But I love creating and I'm interested in what the problem. I have to like pick a background.

Like I'm like, I don't fucking know what the background should be. So I'm, I'm very excited just creatively experiencing it. It's so cool. It's such an amazing experience. And do you have the same set? Like, are you now going to pick from everything that you're doing and put together one sort of new show for the special? So basically, I've been doing this hour for like a little over four years.

years now, maybe in five, but it's completely different than it was a couple years ago, because I keep cutting the fat, adding more, cutting the fat, adding more. So if you see my show the last couple months, it's going to be pretty similar to what the special will be. Because yeah, you're like touring this hour to make it as good as possible and then putting it out. Yeah. But art is never like done. So it's kind of like in a month, I just have to be like, and that's what we're, like I can keep tagging up every joke. But sometimes I find less is more. like I'll try to add more stuff to it. And I'm like, no, it was way funnier when it was tighter and cleaner.

So it's really like an A-B experiment all the time to see the reaction of the laughs. Yeah, because I was going to say, I watched Claude had, she had 55 shows the same hour. I saw her in West Hampton, by the way. Oh, you got that show. Yeah. It was the best. Yes. And then she did her special.

And it's the same thing. Even though the show is the same, the show is completely different. Yeah. And you're tinkering, tinkering, tinkering, tinkering. you get to that big one and then you're doing two, you said. So you're going to take the hope, maybe you just have one killer one. Maybe you have a better moment here, a better moment here. It's crazy.

And then I've told that my hair is the same and both. Yeah, make sure you don't change. Yeah, I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. That would be a hilarious head. I shave my head in the second one. I'm like, can you tell? Can you tell?

So, yeah, there's all. And then like, I do crowd work. Yeah. So, but crowdwork is such like a golden egg where like sometimes the energy is just right like it's not regardless or sometimes crowd works funny because I do callbacks throughout the whole hour so you just never know and I just I'm going into every show just like trying to put in the work and then they said if you do like four shows it's almost too much content to choose from in the edit so they're like just toke on do two shows and you'll get it perfect how you want are you going

to do anything philly centric because there's a cat williams special this is a Netflix special Wait, he's my favorite. Bow down, bow down to the greatness in his cat Williams. He does 25 minutes on Jacksonville. Okay? Talking about Jacksonville-centric jokes. That is so fucking funny because when you go to places, you try to like, beforehand you talk to the waiters or like you walk around a little and you're like,

what are some funny things and you throw it out in the beginning because you get the crowd kind of on your side. But they say like in specials, at the end of the other. the day, only a thousand people are watching it from Philly. Like, it'll be like, it's everyone listening. So like, you don't, I'm not even going to say what's up Philly. I think I'm just going to say like, what's up Netflix? But Cat William doing that is so funny because like, he was probably murdering in the room. Crushing. Because everyone's loving this and like you love the energy. I do have to say Cat Williams has the best ever start of a Netflix special. Do you guys

know when he does the hustle in routine? It's so good. So good. He walks in and they start playing hustle and hustle and he's like, turn it off. And then he starts this whole bit about hustling and the music. And also you had to pay money to get the rights to that music. So it was just the great. I think everyone should Google it. Kat Williams hustling. It's amazing.

And he's been an inspiration for me, which is sounds very random. But him and Chelsea Handler and Amy Schumer, all three of them, I think growing up really influenced me. And Nickelodeon. You guys are fucking hilarious. Oh, thank you. Josh is like, I as Nickelodeon agree. I have nothing to do a Nickelodeon, and I don't.

I'm not a fan of the company. I'm dying to know, it's funny. He goes, can you leave? No, but I appreciate the compliment. It's lovely, and I appreciate that people love the show. But I want to ask you, because you brought up Amy. But shut up. You brought up.

I appreciate, but shut your mouth. You brought up Amy Schumer, who recently was on a Dear Media podcast, and I'm interested to hear your guys' thoughts, because I took issue with this. She was asked about Joe Koi, who is, I will say, a buddy of mine. What? You said this to me yesterday. And I couldn't be honest with you.

You were overly critical of Amy because you're boys with Joe Koi. Now continue. I just think in like, I'm not a comic. You guys are a married couple. Thank you. You're a full married couple. He's always honest with me and I love them for it. Even if I hate you right now.

No. We'll talk about this later. I feel defensive of comedians. And I feel like it's a brother, it's a sisterhood. Like, it's important that even when someone oversteps, I love the fact that Shane Gillis is going to be hosting SNL and is doing this full circle comeback from what, you know, he went through years ago. And she basically was critical of Joe Koi.

She felt like she was just throwing him under the bus, which I thought was like shitty because she's a comedian. And just in general, it's like we all know we had a tough night. It's like, but why continue to go after him a mom? flater. So that I totally agree with. I totally agree with the idea that you don't need to speak negatively about anyone or anything. Like I would never on a podcast, for example, if I had a terrible sandwich, I'm going to tell you I had a terrible sandwich, but I'm not going to tell you the place because I don't want to hurt that place's business. And the guy who did it and his

social security number. Yeah, like, I don't need to like, I don't need to like tank their business because of my shit sandwich. And so like similarly, like, I agree it's unnecessary. There is, the comedy community community is funny because, A, I don't think we're that respected in, like, large scheme of the industry. Like, it's, like, the first time a comic ever won, like, a Golden Glover's, like a stand-up. Like, they just, actors don't always appreciate the comedians. And I do feel like the comedy world can be really lonely stand-up comedy. So, like, we really do have to have each other's backs for sure. And I think a lot of comics, when he had his tough experience with that, we were like, yeah, but the gig is not easy. No, it's not. The gig is not

easy, especially if you were like last second asked to do it. It's not an easy gig. The only thing that I agreed with from that clip, I don't know if you've seen the clip. I actually didn't see the clip. Okay, whatever. She said one thing, though, which I said in the moment that I thought Joe Coy did wrong in my opinion, which is if you're bombing, you don't need to tell us that you're bombing because your writers suck.

Like that was a part of like, you're also then, he threw them under the bus. Like those writers, he didn't say them by name, so maybe nobody knows who they are. But like, she did directly comment on that, which I thought was like a little. little strange. Like, if he didn't like the bit and I get that it was last minute, it was a whole carpal. You know what's happening? He started bombing. And when you bomb your, your head gets really hot. You start panicking. And in that moment, he like, we joked that he, it was like he was at a club doing crowd work. Like, what the fuck's going on with you guys? Like, oh, you don't like that joke. Fuck you guys. Like, it was very like, he went into his old joke mode that, like, comics will do.

And whenever someone has a slip up of a word, like, you have to have empathy for them. Like, if he thought it through and wasn't in such high pressure, I don't think he would have said that. But it definitely wasn't the right thing to say. Yeah. But you know, you know, Hannah, are you friends with the honest,

the honest poppice? Yes, I love him. He's actually from the same place in Brooklyn as I am. Oh, yeah. You guys are both from Parks. He's from Park Slope. Because he's a buddy of mine.

And what he said, his take on it after, like a week after it. And I realize we're now, maybe I'm making the mistake because I'm commenting six weeks after. But he said, He listened back and he's like, the jokes were fine.

He's like, he just wasn't confident because it was such an intimidating room and they weren't giving him love. But the jokes were like totally fine. Like he just, it was he was undeserving of all the. No, Janis is so right. The jokes were actually decent. He just had a panic moment and didn't handle the pressure maybe to the best ability that he wanted to or could. But like also, yes. Some people said, sometimes you watch this and as a comic, you're like, how do I learn from this?

Because that could be me tomorrow. So like, I think if he had come in earlier, some people said with more self-deprecating bits because people didn't know who he was to be like, make fun of myself so then I can make fun of you. Because it's hard to out of nowhere be like, fuck you, you know, Morton Scarsese. Like, fuck you. And it's like other people can do it who have been there. But it's harder.

It's so intimidating to roast these famous people. But kind of similarly to the way that you describe what you're going to be. how you're going to prepare for your special. You're not going to say, hey, Philly. Yeah. You're also catering to the millions of people at home that are watching. Yeah. And not everything.

Like, the perfect host, of course, does incredible crowd work. It's friends with all these people who's fun. That's amazing, right? You don't need to do that. Like, you could have just done, like, a great set for the people at home. I don't know. It just... I do think it's very hard when the audience is kind of turns on you.

And they kind of turned on him in the beginning. and then it's hard to get them back in such a short time. And also historically, the crowds there are known to be very hard. Like, they're not there to laugh. Everyone's nervous. Their dresses are too tight to laugh. They can barely sit. They all want to win.

They want to make sure when the camera goes to them, they look hot. It's not an ideal comedy audience. But, yeah, the writer's joke was a perfect shitstorm for journalists to take and run with it. Jerks. All of them jerks. Should we get to it, speak bite, Ben? Please. So speak pipe is where we call our audience, our fans morons. So it's where the morons call in and typically leave us a moronic question. I love that. Yeah. And here we go. We'll give him some advice.

Hey, good guys. Just want to first off say how much I love your podcast and literally gets me in a good mood every time I listen to you in the morning before work. I'm calling in. I just recently started seeing this guy knowing that he would be. leaving for work for seven weeks for spring training. And we had an instant connection hung out multiple times before he left. He's been calling me and texting me. But I'm just kind of never been in this situation before where things start off so quickly in such a good way. He's mentioned that he only focuses on one girl, but I have no. I notice that he's definitely open the dating app where he's at.

What is your recommendation on, like, broaching the subject with him? Do I? Do I not? Do I continue to date while he's gone and just kind of let the chips fall where they may? Anyway, really appreciate any advice you can give me from a guy's perspective. So she's dating John Carlos Stanton. I mean, who has spring training? Baseball players. Yeah, baseball.

Baseball player. So I was going to say, like, you're dating a baseball player. Like, good on you. Oh, okay, fun. I guess it depends on your goal. Depends on your goal. Well, it's fun. He probably has abs.

Yeah, probably not. Baseball player, baseball. True. Baseball players don't really run. He's probably fat as fuck. Yeah. It depends. It depends his position.

Yeah, it's just never good that he, like, if you're serious about the guy and he is probably dating other girls, like that just stinks. Well, it's funny. I immediately, my red flag, went off when he said, I'm the kind of guy who likes to date one girl at a time. She definitely just likes him because he's a baseball player. Like that's it. Like she was very specific to say he's on spring training.

Like, lady, we didn't ask. Also, don't do long distance after just meeting someone. Like, date other men until he begs you to just date him. And even if he begs you, he still could be cheating on you. So good luck. I couldn't agree more. And that's what I was going to say is that I, I think people fuck it up in this time.

It is such a glorious time when you have potentially met someone great, but you guys aren't Facebook official yet. Because it's like you enjoy yourself. Date other people, sleep around. Get it in, Papa. It's like when I tell like parents who are like about to give birth in a couple months, I'm like, travel because like it's going to be a couple years so you can travel again. It's like go hook up with other people because it's going to be a couple years until you'll

want to do it again and have to secretly do it. And that's annoying. No, I'm kidding. Oh, no. No, but yeah, crush is so fun. You can get obsessed with it and you make this idea in your head if he's all these things because he's not even there. So you could literally create a whole AI perfect boyfriend in your head. But I do think continue to talk to other people so you don't become obsessive over the idea of this man that you've only been with like twice. Yeah. How long has she been with him? Did she say? She didn't say, actually, I didn't get the feeling it was a long, long time. Because like, what do you guys think?

I think like, I think if you become boyfriend, girlfriend within the first month, you're headed for disaster. Like, I think that's like a two to three month decision. For sure. I would agree. For sure. Yeah, definitely. And I am starting to think, though, that this woman, like, fucked a baseball player once

and, like, won't leave him alone. And like, he, like, went off to spring training. He's like, I'm leaving. Bye. He's like, can we, like, let's stay together. Let's stay in touch. Because she, like, liked that he's a baseball player. But, like, and he, like, secretly, like, tried to, like, push things away by saying,

like, yeah, I'm only going to talk to you, but also other girls. You know what I mean? Like, maybe he was, like, trying to be, like, nicely. Yeah. And the fact that she's checking his dating app stuff, like, she deep down knows that he's, and he could be the guy for her long term. But right now it's too early to know. You got to keep talking to other people so you don't become crazy just being like,

what is he doing? Too early to know. Too early to become obsessed, even though it's so easy to become obsessed in the early stages because you have no information. Hannah, what's a hierarchy of athlete that someone would want to hook up with? Like, what's number one and what's number, I don't know, seven? Great question. That is such a good question, Josh.

You know, I dated football in college and I've been pretty open about how I was doing fully CTE charity for free. Oh, my God. it. They couldn't read. He tried to get me go to Bible study. And I was like, that's crazy. You can't read. So, and I like, I didn't want to go in the church. I thought it was creepy. And I was like, why are you like, God's not rooting for the badgers. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah, it wasn't great. But he was hot and tall and big. And everyone should experience that. Like, even you guys, you would love that shit. But I do think football players, I don't, I think I would never put my child into football because

he would get concussions where he would see like purple. Like he'd go to the wrong sideline, but he wouldn't tell his coach because he's trying to get recruited to go pro. So they play on concussions. And like next thing you know, you're murdering an entire family. So like I just,

and I'm raising awareness on it. Seriously. So football guys are a no for me. I support Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. As long as he gets his brain checked. We have to. But we support. We support.

A lot of them are travel. Like they travel a lot. So you either have to like, it's just not an ideal life to be married to one of them. Because you have to one day they wake up and they go, change the kids school. We're going to Detroit tomorrow. It's not great. And then their bodies are just worn down. And then they have identity crisis once they retire at like 32, 33, 37, whenever it is.

Tennis players, narcissists, golfers, narcissists. Baseball players, honestly, are probably the chillest because they don't really run. They don't have to exert. I know the hockey guys are the worst. Why? Like the absolute worst. No. Yeah, I want to know.

Hockey guys are by far the way I said my mom. That's a good blue collar sport. No. Yes. No, no, no, no. It's Canadian. They're so friendly. No.

They are friendly. I'll give you that. They are friendly. So hockey guys, at a certain age, instead of going to college, they go to this thing called junior college where a bunch of horny guys come together and they like feed off each other and like learn all these fucking fuck boy tactics. So by the time they go to college, everyone's 18 and their friends. freshman at like 22.

So that's fucking weird. And then they like are all like weirdly experienced and they just play video games and like play hockey together. They all have chlamydia. They're missing teeth. They also have concussions. And there's a very weird. Yeah, like camaraderie of assholes that it brings.

So baseball won hockey 10. Yeah. Wow. Okay. And then everything else goes in between. Yeah. And basketball guys, honestly, I love them. But they're honestly being with a guy that's that tall.

gets a little annoying. It's like being with someone who's so famous. I mean, you guys would know. Every time they walk in a room, someone's like, you're so tall. And it's like,

we know. Like everyone has to comment about their height and it becomes very annoying. And he can't sit in certain cars. And you're like, this is becoming like actually hindering my lifestyle. Yeah. My brother,

I could see that. My brother-in-law is 6-8. And it's, he's a tall boy. It kind of ruins the mood sometimes. Six-eight. Yeah. Does he play sports?

He did. He was, he was a QB1 at Fresner State. Oh, I have to say, are they dogs, go dogs? Yeah, dogs. Is there any school that isn't the dogs? They're all go dogs. They're all, right? They're all, right. They're all, go dogs.

Sometimes they spell D-A-W-G and sometimes D-O-G. That's like, when in doubt, go dogs. Go dogs. Yeah. Should we do another speak? Yes. Yes. Let's get into. Yes.

Yes. Yes. That's right, guys. Okay. Here we go. Hello, Josh and Ben. Just a simple moron here Looking for a little bit of advice

So, well, number one, Josh, if I hear my voice For a single second and you skip it and go, that's as stupid I'll be passed Sorry, we're going to move on to the next one guys I just can't I can't with some people Let's hear from Sam I knew he was going to do that

I'm Josh and Ben. I'll keep this quick. My biggest fear is literally being roasted by you guys. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and his mom is getting remarried in May. They have a very complicated dynamic. She wasn't really around for him growing up. She's since sober and is marrying someone part of her sober community and seems like she's, you know, turning a lot of her more harmful behaviors around. but my boyfriend and her are still kind of figuring out their dynamic and relationship. I'm personally not her biggest fan just from everything. I feel like my boyfriend's gone through and grew up with. So at like family gatherings, I'm not like the most talkative with her.

I'm kind of like colder. I don't really like go out of my way or make much of an effort with her just because I'm always like picturing kind of this childhood that my boyfriend grew up with. But ahead of her wedding, I'm wondering if you guys have any advice of whether that's just like not my battle to fight, if I need to just kind of like maybe let a lot of it go or if it's not really going to make a difference either way, what I do, or I just like kind of don't want to hold on to unnecessary

grudges that aren't mine, but also like still be a loyal and loving partner. And I have talked to my boyfriend about this obviously, but I would love the good guys take. Thank you guys. Wow. Is that Misha Barton because it sounded like the plot of season one of the OC. People are running out questions.

They're just, yeah, they're just like taking plots from shows. Like, need advice. Like, it was a really good question. Very deep.

Oh, man, let's unpack. Totally not your place. Right. Let him do what he's going to do with his mom and like be there for him. But like, you don't know his mom.

You don't know what he's gone through with his mom. It sounds like it was a lot. It sounds like she does know, which is part of, of why she's holding a resentment. But how could she really know? Sure. Like, sure, she knows from the outside.

But I'm saying, like, at least from the way that she explained it, it sounds like he had a very, very difficult childhood. She wasn't there for his childhood. And there's such a relationship with a guy and his mom. Like, you're going to love your mom no matter what. So complex. You're going to love your mom no matter what, even if she hurt you. And from an outsider's perspective, it's like, why don't you cut her off or why don't

you do X, Y, or Z? Like, it's your mom. And embrace that she gave him mommy issues that for whatever. reason made him attracted to you. Shots, shots fired. No, I didn't believe, but like as in the universe, she was part of it that brought him closer to you. Yeah.

Sometimes guys will want healing in certain ways. Well, maybe that's because she's a fixer. Maybe he wanted to fix her because he had the opposite of that, right? I could see some resentment towards the mom if she felt like I'm, like, raising this guy, depending on how long she's been with him. But I do agree with you in that if you want to be a good partner, adding to the drama and adding like separate beef that you're having with the mom is like probably not helpful at all.

What was the question though? So the mom's like doing better. She's getting married. Yeah. And she's like, how do I handle the wedding? And like should I just. I think, don't you said don't go. No, go.

Go for sure. Go. Like she's doing better. Like it sounds like the mom is in the best place she's been in a very long time. And there's not a ton for her to do. Right? Totally. Or did I miss something?

you're right on. Yeah. One thing I've learned in my old age and wise age is that, yeah, holding on to resentments just like waste your own energy. And like if you're positive and like you're rooting for her. And it's not like she, she clearly wasn't sober when she made these mistakes. And having a little empathy, I think, goes a long way. And it wasn't, it's not your fight to fight, you know? Not your fight. 100%. I think you also, it's hard when you love someone. I actually find that it's easier for me to hold the resentment of if I feel like my wife. has been betrayed by a friend. Like she's quicker to forgive them than I am.

But it's totally not her fight. Although it's funny, I do have a buddy who has, whose brother has just like over the years been like a disappointment and like will come in and out of his life. And so now when the guy does come back into his life and we're all together, I'm just kind of aloof, you know, like, but here's the thing. That guy ain't in my life. Like I don't really care.

And it's funny, I once said to me, my buddy, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm kind of a jerk to your brother, but it's because like, I just feel like he's been a fucking dick to you. And my buddy goes, no, I love it. And I was like, sick. He's like, no problem, brother. Yeah, that's like if a guy you're dating or someone you're dating does something and you tell your parent or your best friend and then you have to, it's like they'll never get over it.

Like my mom will be like, I'm over him. And I'm like, oh yeah, totally. They'll completely take sides because they see it from a very clear perspective. but yet it's her putting herself in his shoes and realize at the end of the day he wants love from his mom. But that's why you have to be very careful with what you tell the certain people. Yes. So huge. Great point. It's just it's just gossip for me to you.

But if I know you well enough, if I share that gossip with you, it's so bad. Oh my God. So bad. Some people can't handle all the gossip. And you need to know who you're talking to what about. I once had bad drama because a friend in college told me like she broke with her boyfriend. It was telling me all this drama about how she thought he was like, like dumb and annoying. And I'm just like, that's hype girl. I'm like, he's fucking stupid.

He's annoying. And they were continuing to fight. And she's like, yeah, Hannah thinks you're fucking stupid and annoying too. That's happened to me too. And then they get back together. And we're all sitting at like lunch. And I'm like, he's mad at me. And I'm like, why the fuck does he he is he mad at me? And he goes, she's like, well, you called him stupid and annoying. And I was like, because you said I was supporting you in that moment. You were gassing her up. Yeah. And she threw, and she threw you down a flight of stairs. And I was like, you said it too, but you guys are like fucking, so it's different. But like, is he not stupid and annoyed?

Hannah, you are doing such a public service. Do not comment. Do not be there for a friend when they're in a breakup. You can't. I once did that from my buddy who's literally married to a famous actress. And I was like, oh, if only, if only I could say. And I hope they're listening because the truth is, you guys are mean. because he had just gotten out of a bad relationship,

like the person was awful. And then he got into a new relationship with this person. And they were having their ups and downs as people do. So me, trying to be like his boy, I was like, be dumb with it, forget her. She's the wackest, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They get back together. Josh is no longer a friend.

I am out of the friendship. I have been pushed down. And yeah, that's all I'm going to say because I don't know if they listen. They hate listen. No, I do think you learn in the future. When someone vents about their boyfriend, you go, look, I just want you to be happy. I just want you to be happy.

So if he's not making you happy right now, I support that. But once you get into the personal stuff, like, yeah, he's a fucking loser. Then it gets hard. But I get passionate with my friends, you know? I'm like, yeah, because you're a good friend. You want to make your friend feel good. But then our friends are jerks. Throw us under the bus.

It's terrible. Because during a fight, they could say anything. Yeah, Hannah thinks it too. Yeah. So I'm not crazy. Hannah thinks it too. So true. Should we get to our What Do You Nuts, Ben?

We should. We should. Josh, you want to go first? You want me to go first? I briefed Hannah. She's ripping and ready. I love that. Sure, I'll go first.

For anyone who doesn't know, our Woody and Nuts moment of the week is any gripe, any issue you have with people, places, and things, it can be big. It can be small. Mine is with these fucking, these pizza day of the year. hot dog day

it's donut day I'm a Sebastian Matt is got sounded so much These are made up days they mean nothing they are worse than

Hallmark holidays because the other day my son my beautiful son he's so basic he's in the mood for pizza I say no problem I have to do it in Sebastian I think

I go I got you pizza, my son. It's actually a godfather impression. So I go to my local pizza joint, shout out prime pizza. The place is overrun like I've never seen. It looks like a Costco the day after COVID, okay?

It's nuts. And I'm like, what is going on here? They go, you know, no? I go, what? They go, it's National Pizza Day. Everyone is having pizza. I was like, they got my order wrong. They missed things.

And who could blame them? They had 9,000 orders. What are you nuts? Enough of these national days. Every day's national pizza day if you believe. Yeah, if you wanted to be. Every day is national pizza day. I used to be a social media manager where it was like a t-shirt company and I would try

to see like what gets engagement. And I got one of those lists of like what each day is. Every fucking day. It's like, it's Q-tip day. And I'd be like, oh, fuck, it's Q-Tip day. And I'd have to like post something for it. The truth is, I blame the Jews. It's the Jews in social.

media and marketing roles that are looking to just make a dollar today. And so they named today National Pickle Day or Pizza Day or Donut Day or Dog Day or Cat Day. Stasi Schroeder made her own day. Did she? What's it called? What's it called? We love her. It's outfit of the day day.

Love it. OTT. Smart. OTD. Day. See? The day. Smart.

Genius. Get your bag. My What are you nuts moment happened to me this morning. Every trip to the airport. Every time you hop on a plane, it's the ultimate, what are you nuts moment. This morning, woke up at six, flights at eight, eight o'clock, get on the plane, boarded at 720, I'm sitting on the plane. Waitress comes up to me, I happen to be in first class, waitress comes up to me.

That was just a side comment. Waitress comes up to me. She's like, you want something to drink. Now, at 7.20 in the morning, what does everybody want to drink? A cup of coffee. Everybody wants a cup of coffee. Sir, what would you like to drink? Oh, could I have a cup of coffee?

Sorry, we don't have coffee right now. Not ready yet. I said, okay, no, I don't need anything else. She goes to the person behind me, I overhear. Sir, would you like something to drink? Sure, I'll have a cup of coffee. Oh, I'm sorry, sir, we don't have any coffee. Goes to the next person.

Sir, what would you like to drink this morning? I'd love a cup of coffee. Oh, I'm so sorry. By the third person, you think that you qualify that they don't have any coffee. So first and foremost, it's nuts of her, right? What are you nuts for not having hot coffee? The second that you get on a 7.30 a.

flight. And by the way, the fourth person, he overheard the first three. She said, sir, what would you like to drink this morning? He said, I'll take a whiskey on the rocks. Hell yeah. Because he had enough of this woman. No coffee, no coffee, no coffee. It's the only thing people want at 7.30 in the morning. And hot take. And the fact that he's in severe withdrawals, obviously. Yeah, he had the shakes. I think you're nuts. Yeah. Trying to order coffee on a plane at 7.30. because I want to fall asleep. There are two types of people. There's the sleeper and there's the productive plane person.

When I get on a plane beginning to end, I'm productive. Really? Yeah. I love that time because nobody can call me. I have basically like a block on my calendar to get through work, be creative, do whatever. I'm doing, I'm on. But there are people that are like, I'm ass sleep. I'm a literal baby.

The second I'm in a moving vehicle, I'm like, I wish. So in the stand-up tour, it's like you do shows at night, get home late, can't fall asleep, you're all buzzed up, next morning I have to jump on a flight for the next show. It's like my only time to rest. But Kelsey Cook, who's a funny comedian, has a great bit about she likes to work and write jokes on planes. And she took out her notepad because some stand-ups like to physically write down. She's writing. And this old man next to her was like, I love the fact that you're still, you know, writing with a pencil.

It's so beautiful and reminds me of the past. And she's like, literally, literally, did you know I was writing semen jokes? Right next to him. About blue balls and coming on, guys coming on my face. That's so funny. But you're right, there are two types of people on the plane. And when I am productive on a plane, I feel like I'm like cheating time. Exactly.

So I get it. But yeah, I'm not a coffee girl. No. And I also have never, ever, ever, ever fallen asleep on a plane. I know. It's horrible. I will fall asleep. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. It's just. You're demons. I can't. I can't do it. I can't do it.

Josh, do you sleep my head? Yeah. The second my head is an actual pillow. I'm asleep. I'm out. It's a skill. I do. But whenever...

I do this and I do eye mask and night guard. And I cross arms like this and I cross legs. Yep. Yep. You wake up your lower back hurts. You don't know why, but you feel fucking amazing. I love it. But sometimes if I'm on like an overnight that you're like, I need to get a good sleep.

You won't sleep. and I'll be like, fall asleep. Anyway. What's your Woody and Atana? You know, actually when I was on the Uber coming over, I saw a post by a designer. Jacques Moose. Are you guys familiar? No.

Claudewood and Paige. Jacques Moose? Okay. So it's a fancy designer and they're collaborating with Nike. So they made this bag that's basically the Nike swoosh, but it's like so thin. Like, it's a, you can't put anything in it. And that's when I had to put my foot down. And I feel like if we're going to fight the patriarchy,

how are we going to do it when we are buying thousands of dollars of bags that we can't even put things in? We're fighting against each other. And it's, I don't, I think it's like tricking women to like put their hard earned cash. And they're like, oh, but it's designer. It's beautiful. It's a collection. What?

No. I don't get it. Or at least get a fake one. No one knows. And no one cares. No one knows. And maybe I grew up where like my family. wasn't very knowing about designer and stuff,

so I haven't fully embraced it. But like, sometimes I just feel like it's not, that's why there's a wage gap because we're spending our money on stupid shit. We are too. I can attest. We are too.

We're all spending our money on stupid shit and you knows whose fault it is again. The Jews! The Jews are creating these campaigns. I did see a funny TikTok where they were like, can we stop with the trends? Like, we're going too far

where we've run out of trends. that people are like, oh yeah, caprice with like, you know, hunting gear. Like, just saying crazy shit. And it's like, can we just for like, enjoy a trend for like two months? No, because there's more money to be made with a new trend. It's the rat race of creating products to make money. So that Nike bag, it's virality. By the way, nuts totally agree.

You have a bag. You can put anything in the definition of what are you nuts. What's the point? What's the point? Why don't make a pin? Make a pin. In the month, Nike could be canceled. Totally.

What do you think of pins? Pins. Dangerous. Flair. I prefer to call them Flair. It's so true, dangerous. I wonder the, I wonder how many women a year stab themselves in the boob trying to put on a pin. Like a brooch?

In the boob. Yeah. What did you say in the bush? Did they call it like brooches? Oh, what is it called? It's not a brooch. A brooch. A brooch.

A brooch. Sorry. I'm so uncouth. I thought you said in the bush. Bush. I'm like, what kind of vaginal pins you're talking about? If you have a fake boob, you could pop a fake boob. Oh, so true. Scary. Once I had a trainer who was all upset one day and he was like, don't ever get fake boobs. Like my, my girlfriend popped her fake boob with a key accidentally. And I was like, Jesus Christ. It's dangerous in these streets. It's dangerous. Like she shut a door on her

boob or something about the car. We should ask Terry Dubrojo. Shout out Terry, the best. I could spend another five hours with him. And Hannah, I could spend another five hours with you, but here we are. Thank you. Is there anything you want to poke? Oh, yeah, thank you guys for having me.

If you like good guys, you'll love Giggly Squad, just like you like the toast. And also, Burner Phone is a pot I have with my husband, which is very fun. Yeah, follow me on the socials. Wow. Netflix special. We're very excited for you. Thank you for coming. Thank you.

As always, you can find us on Apple. Spotify. Josh's YouTube, share it with a friend. We are 4.9 out of five stars for reason with thousands and thousands of reviews because this podcast is fantastic. Keep the reviews up. We need more of them, but I'm just saying if you have a two star review to leave, leave it on Giggly Squad. Get it away from us.

We only need the five. We only need the five. Isn't it funny that the reviews are only five or one? There's no in between. Yeah. And if you didn't like our podcast, you always like our podcast. It was Hannah's fault. Leave her a bad reveal.

It clearly wasn't us. It wasn't us. No, five stars, five stars. If not, what are you nuts? And Hannah, thank you so much for doing. Thank you for having me. You guys are the bus. Very fun. Yeah, we're good. You're good. You're good. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.