Good Guys - Botox Queens & Filler Kings

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Greetings, morons! Today we're breaking down the rise of plastic surgery, the people getting injected in places no one asked for, and the headlines that sent us spiraling. Plus: Team USA hockey glory, birthday-text disasters, kids running wild, and a tourist who found out she was pregnant… in labor. What are ya, nuts?! Write in your questions to [e-mail]! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code GOODGUYS at https://branchbasics.com/GOODGUYS #branchbasicspod Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.  Wayfair. Every style. Every home. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners FIFTY PERCENT OFF and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to HomeChef.com/goodguys  Treat your Palentine with Ollie! Go to ollie.com/goodguys and use code goodguys to get 60% off your first box! For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code GOODGUYS10  Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys. They're not the great guys. We're just so good, a good, good, good guys.

Mazzle morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. Ben, start us off, babe. Josh, look, have you ever invited somebody to your birthday party and you got this reply? I'm out of town, but we'll celebrate when we're back. Have you ever gotten that reply? Nobody's ever celebrated when they were back. That's never happened. I don't know why people do that. Why do people feel the need to say that?

Why do they need to say, we'll celebrate when we're back? No, honestly, I might never hear from you again. You might, you're traveling. Maybe your plane goes down. Maybe I never see you again at all. We're not celebrating my random 33rd birthday when we're back. What does that even mean, Josh? I'm so tired of this arbitrary day that means nothing

that we have risen to a level of such importance that friendships can break over it, relationships can go to the shitter over it. It's fake. If everyone has it, not special. How about that? 100%. It can't be special every year.

That's why we have these marquee birth days. Okay. The first marquee birthday, what's the first marquey birthday, Josh? What is the first one? One. One. Okay. So fine. One through 18, we go crazy, right? And then after 18, we don't. Or when do we stop? Even that. When do we stop? One is important. I would say the first three can be important. And you could do something big for the first three. I'd say between three and 10, go to an amusement park and shut up. Like, then start. And then, you know, 13, if you're a Jew. 15 if it's your quinceaniera, sweet 16, if you're a girl from Long Island with a rich dentist father, and then 18. Sure. And then 21. Sure.

And then after 21, this is it. 25, 30, 40, 50, 50, 60, 60. And then at some point, okay, once you've reached 90, I'd probably start celebrating every year again just because you're so impressed. with yourself that you've made it. Full circle. Full circle. Okay. That you've made it. But this is, these random birthdays, it's no good. Stop inviting me. We're kaput. And Josh. Let's talk about our approach to raising kids and raising other people's kids because this weekend has revealed my parenting style. Want to hear it? I want to hear it. I want to hear it. I want to know the ins and outs of Joshy's parenting style. Yes.

My parenting style is, okay? If you act out of line, I'm going to let you know. Okay? And that, to me, look, it's been a TikTok trend recently of like this old, just a touch, a touch of old school parenting. Leave, you know, leave the physical, leave, leave all the negative stuff. Leave the belt. That's horrible.

That should never happen again. How dare you. You should never touch a child ever. But when it can't act sat a line, unless they're annoying. You got to let them know. Yes. You got to let them know. I was just at this kid's birthday over the weekend,

and you're going to experience this when your kids get a little bit older. First of all, the parents checked out. They're all sipping high moons talking about, you know, reality show. Is it high moon? What's it called? High noon. High moon. High moons and, you know,

All the bullshit, okay? And they're drinking schvitzes. You know, they're drinking Zimas. High moons. High moons and schvitz's eyes. That's it. That's what they're drinking. You know, and Michael's hard lemonade.

And so these parents are checked out. And the kids are running amok. And it's someone's home that the party is at. And it's, you've seen where I live, but the houses are literally. right, you share a fence with the next house. So kids are literally climbing on the fence and walking on the roof of the shed of the neighbors. I'm going nuts. And I'm like, I literally at one point went to the parents and I said, can we have a united

parental front here? Because this is nuts. And a kid's going to fall through the roof of the neighbor. And then I went up, I'm telling these kids, I maybe had to do it half a dozen times. I'm like, guys, you can't. You can't. And my son is nothing special except he listens, okay? So he'll mess around.

He'll do the wrong thing. But if I say Max, he'll go, message received, no problem, right? These other kids, and these are seven and eight-year-olds. And when a seven- and eight-year-old disrespects you, what you want to say is like, listen, I'm not your parent. You're not going to walk all over me, right? I'm an adult. Yeah, yeah.

I'm not your buddy and I'm not your, like, passive parent who's sucking me. back high moons in the corner over there. And so I look at these kids and I go, listen, I'm an adult and either you're going to listen or I'm going to tell your dad. And so it's just crazy. It shouldn't be allowed at all. And by the way, Josh, that is Claudia's approach to regular friendships. Right.

Okay. You cross her once. Sianara. And I used to think that was a little harsh. And let me tell you, if you were willing to cross me at this. stage in my life, I don't need you. I really don't. I don't need second chances anymore, Josh. This is about fine-tuning, all right? This stage of life is about whittling down. Perhaps at one point we have 50 friends, 100 friends, 25, 20, 10, 5. All we need in life, Josh, is a good,

three best friends, okay? Three best friends. If you have more than that, you can't call them best friends anymore. This used to be in high school. I called everybody my best friend, my best friend here, my best friend there, my camp best friend, my this friend. No, no, Ben, no, they can't all be best friends. They can't. So you cross me, you're done. That's it. Just like those kids, those kids, if you, if you're rude to my son and I haven't gotten there yet, okay, Ruby's still too little for this. If you are rude to my Ruby, future five-year-old when he's five, God willing, you're, you're dead to me. Dead.

But they're not. You push him. They're not rude. They're not going to be. Here's my issue. They're not rude to Ruby. Ruby's going to love them. And he's also going to like, because he's going to be a good, good boy, but he's going to

kind of like my son look at like the bad kids and be like, ooh, that does look kind of fun. Like he'll live a little vicariously like we did growing up. But the kids are going to be more to you, not Ruby to you. How do you feel? Yeah. Ooh. If they're rude to me.

Yeah, I just, I tell their dad, I don't even react. I'm just like, your, your fucking kid sucks ass. Like, I don't, I, your kid sucks ass. Like, what are you doing that your kid just said that to me? I would 100% confront the parent. Because confronting, I actually don't like the idea of parenting somebody else's kids. I don't. Because what are you, what are you going to possibly say that's obviously not being reinforced at home?

If they're mean, they're mean for a reason. And you randomly saying something to them, I don't think, right? Will it do anything? I just don't hold back when it's a safety issue ever. And like the kids ran out, I ran out the, this was like really, and we were leaving. And I just, this was the moment where I'm like, I'm glad I'm leaving.

The kids ran out the front of the house. There's no parents out. And they're not far from the street. And I was like, guys, get back in the house. And they were like, well, we, like they started. I was like, there's no parents out here. Get in the house. I don't want to hear it.

And that was the moment where I was like, I got to leave. Because, I mean, granted, I would. I would have done that in front of their own parents and defended my actions. But I'm like, what's the alternative that they don't listen and run in the street? Like, I'd rather have a kid and a parent mad at me than, God forbid, they get hit by a car. And so what actually did you sound like? Because you weren't that tempered. Like, they're running around the house.

They're leaving. I'm running through. I want to hear the way that you actually sound. I'm blasting through the door. Hey, let's go play. Guys, get back in the house. And then say, well, everyone else. All the other kids are out here.

Guys, get back in the house. But all the other kids are out here playing. I don't care. There's no parents out here. Get back in the house. Okay. What do we think? Olivia, is that suck?

Am I going to get beat up by parents? I don't think so. I think you're keeping everybody safe. I think you're keeping everybody safe, Josh. I think that's what it is. I think you're the safety police. I think you need a T-shirt. Okay?

Or at minimum, maybe like a little hat. You know, safety police hat. And all I know is if I was in your position, I probably would have accidentally let like an F bomb go, get in the fucking house. Yeah. Okay? That would have been me.

Because when I get really scared, I go, ooh, you know, I can't control my body. When I'm scared for something happening, I just, I say anything. Get in the fucking house, anything to scare them back into the house. You know, I just draw the line at kids climbing on the roofs of other people's houses and running in traffic. Whoa. Sorry, you know, a Ronnie Republican over here, you know. What the fuck? That's a good place to draw the line, Josh. It's a good place to draw the line. I totally, I totally agree. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Ollie.

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That's Ali-O-L-L-I-E dot com slash good guys. code good guys to get 60, 6.60% off your first box. I'm completely switching gears. USA. USA. USA. The men's hockey team. Holy smokes. That was like, obviously you've seen miracle, but I just, I couldn't believe it. And then I found out the guy who scored the winning goal was Jewish. And all of a sudden I was plotting. It was just, it was unbelievable. Okay. Unbelievable. The goal that was promised to us 3,000 years. ago according to the people on TikTok. Screw you.

All I have to say, Ben, is, screw you. USA! USA! Ju-Say! Clip that, send it to Al Jazeera. You fuck, you send it. It was so good.

Oh, my God. And those kids, and you saw Cash Patel slugging it with them. Whoa, his eyes went a little more cross after he drank that beer. I was like, damn. It was so funny. It was so funny.

But seriously, shout out USA men's hockey team. Just what an unbelievable accomplishment, especially just with everything going on. The country needed something to rally around. And it's those boys. It's those boys. It was great, really great. It doesn't forgive the horrible shit that's been going on as of recently. But I will say, I've never seen anyone go, you know, we won gold at the Olympics and everything fell apart.

Like it can only be a good thing. And I hope if our leaders won't unite us, at least Team USA hopefully can. They did. They did. If you're not rooting for Team USA, that's on you. Team USA, they won. They did their thing. They were the best at something that is really, really hard for us to be the best at.

It's funny, Josh, we were just talking about how the NHL players shouldn't be playing in Olympic hockey. And if they didn't, we wouldn't. we wouldn't have won. So I guess, honestly, I take it back. I take it back. It stinks for the NHL owners. But the fact that we were able to win this and beat Canada, big deal. How many, because he plays for New Jersey, right?

So how many dentists in the tri-state area are in Jack Hughes DMs right now going, would love to build you a bridge for two IG shoutouts? Happy to do two implants. For an infeed and a TikTok. Considering when the Knicks literally sign the most random guy, I immediately send a DM, if you ever need help with a dinner reservation, you let me know?

I can attest that that for sure happened. Do you do that with every new Nick? You do that with every new Nick? Every new Nick. I try and get him young, too. Under 100,000, I think to myself, oh, you know, he doesn't have the plug-a-major food group yet. Let me be the entree to that.

Let me help you out. I'm here. I'm here. Let me lend you my services. You're the weirdest. You're like that meme of when husbands and boyfriends write to LeBron, like, have a great game, King. And you think it's actually getting to them. Except Ben's writing, I've got some leftovers, king.

I'll drop off a quart of vodka sauce in your house. You really are. You are Bruce Offer's son. God bless you. My dad can have a nice roast at your door at three. Let me know the best address. That's so good. I'll be there in my dad's 07 Chevy Suburban drop off a variety of sauces.

It's so good. Oh, my God. No, it was, it was awesome. I'm so, I was loving, I was loving Team USA, very exciting, very, and did you see the memes of all the Jewish mothers who are exhaustedly writing everyone they know telling them Jack Hughes is Jewish? Yes. And it's just, yes, it's unbelievable. It was so good. Why do we do that?

Because we're so proud. Like, we're just so proud. That's it. We did the same thing with Denny. We're just proud. That's it. We're proud when it's not obvious, right? Like when a Jewish physicist wins the Nobel Prize again, we go, yeah, that's a layup.

You're right. You're right. We're proud when it's not obvious. We're so proud when we do things that we don't think we should be able to do. Right. It's honestly, it's pride through self-doubt almost. It's very interesting, Josh. Very interesting, but absolutely true.

Absolutely true. I remember there was a, I think Judy Gold makes this. when David Berkowitz, the son of Sam, who was committing the murders in the 70s and 80s in New York, and they found out that the son of Sam was David Berkowitz, a Jew. And I think Judy Gold's mother did some research and said, half. He was half.

We don't claim him. We don't claim him. Exactly. Josh, there was some weird, freaking news over the weekend. Did you catch this weird news? Weird stuff. Weird. I did hear some of the weird news, and here is one of them, and this is wild.

Men are going to extreme lengths to make their penises bigger with bizarre swag procedure. While many people are asleep in the deep of night, some men are searching for ways to boost their bulge. Our inquiries usually come in around 2 a.m., Dr. Schaefer said, how can I increase my size? Schaefer has been giving new meaning. to the phrase supersized me, pumping private parts full of filler at his Fifth Avenue Clinic. That's right. They're doing filler in their package.

We're talking Botox. We're talking, I don't know, Latisse. I think that's for eyelashes. He's done 8,000 procedures. It's called, yeah, the swag approach, the Schaefer with and girth surgery. Nuts. Oh my God. Okay. So you said two and three in the morning. So do we think these guys are leaving a girl's house after she just told him that he has a small dick and they're really sad and they Google penis enlargement surgery and Dr. Schaefer has the Google ads on

penis enlargement for New York. Is that what's happening? I think so. And or they're watching porn and feeling very inadequate as compared to the professionals. Yeah. For sure. 2 a.m. porn is too late, Josh, right? You can't watch porn at 2 in the morning. What is your cut off for porn? I think anytime, anytime.

Anytime. If I need it, it's amazing. I really think that anyone who's on Ambien, I want to be like, have you tried other ways? Totally, totally. But that's why 2 a.m. Unless you're having a really bad night and you just can't go to sleep. And I'm not going to describe it anymore.

Okay, I'm not going to describe it. Sure. But there's chafing involved. 2 a.m. is too late. Okay, too late. I think 9.30. That's the latest. Well, Dr. Schaefer is using the stiffest form of hyluronic acid as the filler.

It's FDA approved for jaw augmentation, which you're going to have to get your jaw augmented after I see Dr. Schaefer. I'm kidding. That's gross. It's horrible. It's disgusting. I'm so sorry. The primary effect is amplified girth,

but because the constant weight of the filler stretches the skin leading to increase in flaccid length, that's the golden key, my friend, because I want to be walking around Equinox being like, can you believe this? Right? How good. Right?

Mohamed, my friend Mohamed, who works out of Equinox, I mean, Muhammad, uh? I want you to know, when I look over and I see somebody hung like a horse, miss me. What does that mean? You don't want to make eye contact with it? I couldn't want that less, okay? It's too much. It's too much.

Who wants a huge, you want a huge, just always out, not like the grower versus shower. You want a shower horse cock all the time? I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry. Turn off this episode. I don't know, and I'm not going to ask Olivia this because it's inappropriate. Again, I'm not asking Olivia this. It's inappropriate.

I'm asking Ben this. I would love to know what would... First of all, my suspicion is that in general, and my wife has said this, like, don't ever send us a picture of your thing. We are not interested in that. It does not do the same thing for us that us sending you pictures does for you. But I would be interested to know what if it did... if there was some exciting aspect to it, which would be preferred by women? I have to assume that a flaccid penis would be the least attractive thing in the whole world.

I think the other. The other is so angry and aggressive. Sure, they both stink. They both stink. If you, Josh, these are what are you nuts? If you, there's in no world, in no way, shape, or form, does any woman want to receive a picture of a flaccid penis? No way. No way.

Maybe they don't want to receive either of them. I think we're doing it either. There's no, yeah, neither. Penises are disgusting. Now that I'm, now that I'm talking about it, this is just like limp. Oh, God, I feel so dirty, Josh. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Wayfair. Folks, Wayfair is it.

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Wayfair is it. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one-stop shop. That's Wayfair, W-A-I-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. What do you think? This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Home Chef. Folks, this time of year, when it's cold and dark by dinner time,

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That's homecheft.com slash good guys for 50, 5.0% off your first box and free dessert for life. Homechef.com slash good guys must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Obviously, Shnura. Other stories? Another story? Yes, I'm 16 and already get Botox to prevent wrinkles. I can't let the risks stop me. The needles didn't sting as badly. Miller feared, just a quick pinch, exactly like her mom promised.

The 16-year-old Alabama team had just gotten Botox for the first time, her provider injecting the neurotoxin in her jaw muscles to help ease chronic pain. It wasn't that bad. Honestly, my jaw was feeling so much better. About three months later, I was texting the doctor and was like, well, I've already gotten Botox, so I might as well just go all in. That choice would turn the phaeteen into a lightning rod, a junior at the time, Jasmine quickly became gossip fodder with her classmates and their parents when they were intrigued

and unsettled by the idea that she was getting plenty of cosmetic treatments years before adulthood. So she got Botox in her jaw. It helped. She was like, throw some in my non-existent crows feet, I guess. No, it sounds like her mom said, throw some in her non-existent crows feet, which is just like, whatever. How can you possibly need Botox at 16 unless you're, I guess, really fucking stress? Right? Maybe it's those SATs. Yeah. Maybe it's, I don't know, social studies. But Jasmine's story isn't an outlier. It's part of a growing trend. On TikTok and Instagram, teens and people in their early 20s are increasingly posting about getting Botox and other injectables, often calling it a preventative measure to avoid future lines and wrinkles. Olivia, thoughts? I mean, you don't stop making collagen until you're, what, 25? So I just feel like it's a waste.

And it's sad that somebody at 16 is being persuaded to do something like that. Obviously, like more power to you always. But like maybe wait till you can can vote to start. That's a great fun fact that you don't stop making college in until 25. That's a great fact. And yeah, so clearly you don't need it. You don't need it. No need, Josh.

I guess not. I guess I don't know. I've never done Botox except for my master's, but I will tell you that the great Dr. Elazar Sofer shoutout. I'm mentioning his name because I'm hoping he wants to do it for free. I brought him in because he fixed his cut above his eyebrow when he got hurt and beautifully closed it up and it's healing beautifully. And we went for his like three-month checkup.

And Dr. Soffer quickly was done with shy. I looked at me and said, let me look at you. And he was like, smile. And I was like, And he was like, just 15 units there and there, like right here. He's like, it's just a little downturned. And I was like, okay. So maybe I do it.

It's also supposed to be great for migraines. I don't know. I haven't gotten a migraine in a while, but they say it's wonderful for migraines. I have bad migraines, bro. That would be great. I need any kind of relief from a migraine. Okay, yeah. So you should get it.

And Bruce Sofer also gets migraines. First time he's gotten one. He's been dealing with him the last month, Botox. He hasn't tried to you, but I'm going to go tell him because I remember that that is a thing that helps. Do we have any other stories, Josh? Otherwise, I have a question for you. We have one more, but I have something really good to tell the podcast audience,

and I'm only a weekend, so don't quote me yet. But as we all know, I've been a lifelong survivor of TMJ ping. I have my struggle with the TMJ. I have the clenching at night throughout the day. Tight, tight jaw muscles. So painful. It's like a Charlie Horse in your face. And I've tried everything, Botox, nightguards, occupational therapy, what?

It sounds like you've been taking too many dicks from that doctor. Oh, Dr. Schaefer. Dr. Schaefer, say it ain't so. Swaggy. I've been thinking, you know, Joey Kamast said too much. So yes, I have TMJ from the reasons why Ben said I have them. And I've tried everything, but I just tried this new cocktail at night. Let me tell you.

I think it's working. It's been working for the last week and praying it continues to work. I'm taking a light beta blocker, a blood pressure med, five milligrams of propanol. Light. Easy. A lot of people take it for blood pressure. But a lot of high performers such as myself, I'm talking professional violinist, Robert Downey Jr. at the Academy Awards. They take it for anxiety. So I take a 5 milligram dose, which is the lightest of light dose and magnesium at night. And I haven't been clenching. When was the last time? Do you always take magnesium at night or this is a new thing for you? Here in there, but I think this one to punch because I take a lot of magnesium through element because I get it through that. Yes. Different kind though.

I think it might be magnesium glycinate or is that the one that makes you shit. Glycinine. Glycinate, I think, has the more sedative, relaxing properties. Yes. Yeah. So what that does to me is I take it, I go to sleep, I don't have any dreams. I don't think. I'm out.

I don't know what it is. It's like a sleeping pill. It's fantastic. Well, let me tell you, magnesium from Momentus and propanolol from CVS, loving it. One two punch. one, two, punch. Well, I've got one more story, and then I want to hear where you have to say, Ben, a tourist 21 unexpectedly gives birth after going to hospital for stomach bug.

Oh my. What an idiot. In July, last year, Shepard started to feel unwell, initially putting her stomach cramps down to an unpleasant stomach bug. Her symptoms worsened, turning into an intense pain on the right side of her stomach. She went to the Gold Coast University Hospital in Queensland. They performed a ultrasound and found out she was having labor cramps. And she gave birth to a beautiful 6.4 pound baby.

Had no idea. How. How? How? How? How? How? This we can ask Olivia.

How? You know, it's crazy. There is a girl who will, I will remain nameless, but she was like a friend of a friend in college. And she had taken like a plan B pill. like but the kind that's like prescribed from a doctor and she thought that all was good but she never went for her follow up and she thought that she had a cyst in her stomach and nine months later five years later now she's got a beautiful boy named Noah but I but how you you you don't feel something in your stomach you end up looking like Louis from the pit I don't understand like like you don't

feel that you don't you don't like some people don't show as much I think too, and I think also depending on the size of the individual sometimes, that can be a contributing factor. Interesting. That's interesting. I'm not sure exactly. I just know in that instance, she thought she had, you know, taking care of business and she certainly didn't. Well, it said despite the shock, the young woman who was a size six and had no pregnancy symptoms

gave birth to a little girl named Ila just 10 hours later. But 6.4 pounds. This goes away. This goes away. Everything that I thought I knew is gone out the window. with her being a size six. Olivia now had me thinking, okay, maybe this woman was 400 pounds.

So becoming 430 pounds, you don't know. You thought you just had a nice lunch. Right. When really, it wasn't a nice lunch. Okay, but if you were a size six, and then you go from a size 6 to a size 16, you don't know? How don't you know? Well, but maybe she didn't,

she didn't go up in size to Olivia's point. That's what she's saying here. She was still a size 6. The baby was small, too, I guess. Fascinating. So maybe premature. Oh, my God. Holy smokes.

Well, Azatow to her. You know, what a gift. I just want to hear more about Noah, baby Noah, like, avoiding the plant B pill, like the Death Star in Star Wars One. Good name. Noah survived. Dude. Am I right? Noah.

Noah survived. Noah survived. Roch Hash. Oh, wow. What a story. Josh, I have a question for you. Okay, it's very, very important. Okay, very important.

Good. Would you rather always have a slightly wet sock or always have greasy hair? A slightly wet sock is not sustainable. So I would have to do the greasy hair, but God, do I hate. You know, that's why Howie Mandel, who actually has hair, here's a big revelation. Howie Mandel has a full head of hair and only shaves his head because it makes him feel more clean and doesn't trigger his OCD as badly. What? Is that true?

He has a full head of hair, but how often does he have, does he shave every morning? Because that's, it's a shiny head. Constantly. Wow. Isn't that crazy? That is fascinating. Josh, I want you to know that there's nothing more annoying to me in the entire world than a wet sock. So I will completely agree with you that I guess I would take greasy hair, even though I hate greasy hair.

I need to take every single morning, I have to, I shower every single morning like clockwork and every single night like clockwork. And it's really because if my hair ever feels oily or gritty. greasy. I hate it, but the wet sock, Josh, no good. No good. All right. I have another very important question for you. Is it worse to forget someone's name or misuse someone's name confidently? You're at a party, okay? And you forgot maybe Mitch's name and you go up to Mitch and you say, hey Mitch, good to see you. But his name was really Michael. What's worse? Forgetting or calling him Mitch. I'm calling him Mitch is worse, right? It's fine. I think people, it's too, actually, I've had so many encounters where people look at me and they're like, really, you don't remember my name?

You don't have that? There's nothing worse than that. Listen, you're going to go, I've learned you never say nice to meet you. You say nice to see you. And then you do chief, you do buddy, you do big guy, you do big girl, you know, ball. There's so many fun. Good to see you, big girl. That's good.

Yeah, man. There's so many ways around it. And then if you really need to know their name, you've got to find somebody new to throw into the mix, whose name you do know. And then you go, hi, this is Ben. And then allow them to be like, hi, I'm so-and-so. And you go, Lydia, Lydia, I knew it was with him out.

I love it. And Josh, the last one on this rapid fire, which we can cut if we want to or we can keep in. I'm not sure. Is it more embarrassing to wave back at someone who wasn't waving at you or to ignore someone who was? I think I would rather be the fool in every scenario. It gives me the steves to ever make someone feel or look foolish.

And I'd rather just, it's just so on brand for me. And it's good podcast fodder. You? I completely agree. I'd rather be the fool. The nice fool. Okay. The nice fool.

That's me. That pleasant, nice fool. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by your friends at Nutraful. Folks, real change doesn't come from some big flat. moment. It comes from the routines you commit to. It's the small things that you do every day that quietly add up over time. That's the idea behind Nutrafol. It's built around a simple, consistent approach to hair health that works from within and delivers visible results over time. Not overnight, folks. Nothing happens overnight. Nutrifol is the number one dermatologist

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Everything helps. Do we have some moron mail? We do. We have a piece of moron mail. And now, and Ben, maybe you can help us with this. We have closed down the speak pipes. They are no longer a part of the show. But we do want your moron mail so you can email us.

If you want to get some advice, ask us questions, feel free. Put it in a short little paragraph and we will read it on the podcast. Hey, Ben, what's our email address? Good Guys Podcast 1. at gmail.com. Whoever has Good Guys Podcasts at Gmail.com, give it to me. Okay? Yeah.

You snake. You snake. But for now, it's Good Guys Podcast 1 at gmail.com. And Josh, we already have a couple of, uh, we have a couple of emails. I will start from anonymous. The subject is corporate Venmo. Hey, good guys. I have a friend who sends Venmo requests that look like official invoices.

He itemizes, taxes, tips, and even rounds up to the nearest dollar in his favor. Last week, he sent a request for $28.47 and labeled it Q1 sushi settlement. Is he financially responsible or emotionally unwell? Signed accounts receivable. Are you kidding me? He didn't write sushi financial settlement. Are you kidding me? This guy needs to go get the swag procedure with Dr. Schaefer. He does not. He's got a, he's hurting in that area. You can't request, honestly, Josh, you can't request less than, what's the right amount here? I don't think you can request less than $50 from me. 50 bucks, if we're friends, you can't request less than that from me.

You can't. $28.47, just split it. Do the cards at the table, if that's the case, right? After the fact, for $28, why? Why, Josh? I just don't want to be in that position of, I would feel so much better to be able to treat than to have to hound someone for my share that I'm owed. And so I would rather say, I would love to eat dinner with this person six times a year, but I always have to hound them for Venmo. So instead, I'll eat dinner with them twice a year and I'll pay.

Totally. Totally. We're not debt collectors, Josh. We're just trying to go to dinner. Okay? Not debt collectors. No good. No good. Josh, I have another one. Sometimes I get in a Venmo like wormhole and I'll start reading like the subject line of what everyone's sending shit for and I'd be like, it would be really weird

like my half of the Netflix. I'm like fucking nine bucks. Like I don't know. Listen, I know there's, we're going to get shit for this because people are going to be like, yeah, that's like a lot of money. And it is, especially if you're like in your 20s

and whatnot. But I don't, I just, I think in a desire to not use cash, people have overcomplicated their life. Love me or hate me? I'm sorry. $4.50 is not an appropriate Venmo. I'm sorry.

It's not a lot of money. It's not. You shouldn't have Venmo. I mean, you shouldn't have Netflix. If $4.50, if you need $4.50 once a month, you shouldn't have Netflix. I'm sorry. If that's a hot take and people hate me, I'll live with it.

I'll live with it, Josh. But no good. All right. I have another one. Okay. The subject was, again, anonymous. We're keeping them all anonymous, okay? The subject was fake wine guy. Guys, I've been pretending to understand wine for four years. I swirl, I nod, I say notes of cherry. I have no idea what I'm talking about. By the way, this is so me. Me too. And I own a wine company. And I don't dream. This weekend, I'm going to Napa with friends who actually do know wine. Do I confess or continue the performance? Oh. If you're going with actual wine snobs, I would confess.

Otherwise, you're going to get found out. But it would actually be really funny. So maybe keep the schick. I don't know. I don't know. Circoning, here's the thing. This is what you really got to do. Try to catch your friends in the lie.

See if they're lying too. Add shit. Yeah. Bring a couple tools. Bring a big one of those eyedropper things. Put it in the glass and then be like, be like it air rates it on its way down. As the drops drop, it gets oxygen,

and that releases the notes of oak. Yes. And if they go, oh shit, word, I heard that, be like, you're a fucking liar, Dan. But if they're like, what are you nuts? Be like, I am nuts. I don't know what I'm doing. I love when people swirl their wine.

My mom last night at dinner, she ordered just a glass of house Sauvignon Blanc, and they brought it over, had her try it. And I just know her. Like she takes a sip, she thinks about it. Delicious. What else are you going to say? Unless it's corked.

Like either if it's, if it's terrible wine, I guess I understand it. But I never, I never like that. People are returning wine because it's not the flavor profile that they thought it would be. Miss me.

No good. They should do that with regular food. They should just bring over a bite of the mac and cheese and be like too nutty, you know? I do that. I've told you that's my move with tuna. I've told you that, right?

What, you need, you have a tuna sommelier? I taste the tuna. I'm not committing to tuna fish anywhere without a taste. I go to the diner. They have a tuna salad sandwich on the menu. Give me a taste. Just a little taste. I love it.

That's it. And if I like the tuna, I'll order the tuna. The tuna is so hit or miss. Like, if I don't like the tuna, I'll get an omelet. I'll get a french onion soup. But I need the tiniest taste, just a little, a little bit. If you need, I'll pay a dollar for it. No problem.

Just give me a taste of the tuna. Okay, Josh, and we have one more, more on mail. Great. The subject is the group trip spreadsheet. Oh, man, Josh, I've had these before. Hey, Ben and Josh, my friend created a fully color-coded spreadsheet for a three-day guide strip. Tabs include budgeting, restaurant reservations, outfit themes, and vibe goals. Is this leadership or dictatorship?

I think it's good leadership as long as no one is expected to stick to any of it. I completely agree. Yeah. Because I have those friends that they will plan the entire trip. They will plan the entire bachelor party. And they have concocted in their heads that they're doing it for you. When they're doing it for them, they're fucking control freaks. And then you try to change anything.

You try to suggest a different restaurant. And they say, well, I plan this entire trip. And they get all dramatic. And it's just terrible. Just terrible. I hate those kinds of people. So for me, it's, no, I don't even think it's well-intentioned. No good. And there's also like, you can say, hey, if we're going to eat at six places over the weekend, like, these three were like really hard res. I've heard great things. Let's do it. These other three are my suggestion. But if anyone feels strongly, let's do something else. 100%. Right. I think that's the move. I think that's, yeah, for sure. And it's not that precious. Okay. You're on a, you're on a boys trip. It doesn't

matter where you eat. Go grab a protein bar. Okay. Enough. No, be willing to let the, the, be willing to let the trip get bad. That's the thing you're missing. It's like the inconveniences, the random plan B's and C's because the weather wasn't right or whatever. Like, it can be great as long as you're not bringing a big black cloud to things. And but so many guys bring big black clouds, Josh. You find that? It's very rare that guys, yeah, I find at least, at least with my friends, it's very rare that it's fully roll with the punches. Like I think that I'm a role with the punches guy, for sure.

But I think that there are a lot of people that when a plan goes awry, they're not able to quickly just get excited about the new plan, maybe once, but not over and over again. Versus me, if we couldn't get into one restaurant, we go to the next one, we couldn't get into the next one, we end up at Taco Bell, I had a great night.

The truth is, I'm with you. If I'm with you, my friend, my wife, my kids. I'm with you. I'm with you. We can go eat wherever. I'm with you. Is there a song, I'm with you? Yeah, it's Avril of you.

I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. We went to get beagles. We wanted a smear, but they ran out of smear. That sucks. Ryan now. We went to get tacos, but there wasn't a canina, so we ate a Taco Bell.

That's cool. Nana. I love her. She's the best. Did she die and was she replaced? I don't think so, but that's a popular, that's a conspiracy theory, that she, the original Avrilavian died and was replaced. Why do people like to make these things up?

Oh, man. I have a great conspiracy theory that we'll save for next week's episode. But I think we should do really quick before what are you nuts. You want to do Best Spite of the Week? Oh, yes, I do. Yes, I do. Josh, you have a great one. My best bite of the week, this week, my favorite thing that I ate is that I made a beautiful,

soft, like really perfectly soft scrambled eggs, soft scramble. Scramble eggs should never be hard. And then, and this was always an Anthony Bourdain move that I learned from, I added right at the end, I added just like a thin strip of that bordeong herb cheese, You know, this white cheese that looks like a little hockey puck? Yes. Well, you put that down the middle? It was unreal.

Simple, soft scramble, a little bit of salt, bordon cheese, take me away. I love that your best bite of the week was something that you made, so I'm going to do the same. Josh, this week I made a Korean-inspired brisket. This was, it got the Claudia stamp of approval, which is, if it gets that on something, Experimental. That means it was really fucking good. This was a marinade of soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, brown sugar, gochu jang. This was outrageous ginger, garlic, the best bite of my month. And the best part of my brisket, when it's good brisket, you put it in the fridge, you take it out the next day, it's better. Better. You take it out the next day, it's better. Be careful, though. There is a time where it will turn. It's better. It's better. It makes you sick.

So just be careful. Yeah. Okay. It is diminishing returns, but it's better. It's better at least two days. So good. Wow. So freaking good.

So good. Should you get to our what are you nuts moment of the week? We absolutely should. Our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and tall, whatever, sticking in your craw, Josh, I've had enough with read receipts. Okay. Okay. You had them on for a minute. I did?

I did. You did. You did. Most of the time, it's unintentional. That said, read receipts should not be a feature on Apple. They shouldn't. Nobody should ever be able to torment you like that. Because I can imagine, for me, as a 33-year-old, it's frustrating when I text someone, I see red, I know that they're on their phone, and they don't get back to me.

But, Josh, imagine these teens. Imagine how much they're playing with their fucking heads. Totally. Maybe there's a guy and a girl. They're texting. there, she's playing hard to get. He sees she's read it. She's read it.

I would have a fucking meltdown. Yes. Okay? Woody and nuts, read receipts. Not good for mental health. I absolutely love that. My Woody and nuts is a resident in. Now, this is a beautiful Marriott property.

It's really my favorite. But I think what people need to understand is you're not a resident. Okay? It's a hotel room with a kitchen. That's it. I was recently standing in a residence and people are treating the hallways like it's the second floor of their home. They're walking around in robes. You know what I'm saying?

They're like, me. Yeah, if you lived in Oklahoma. Me in Oklahoma would be scary. I'd walk naked on my front porch. I would love it. I see a stare. I would be naked all the time. I'd be naked all the time.

Me in Oklahoma, I'd be naked all the time. Just, it's not the residence in. It's the people that live at the residence in. What are you nuts? Don't take residents so literally. No. I want to say at a visiting man, you know? Visiting.

Isn't it? It's so stupid. Folks, this is five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast. Because look, the rating, reviewing, and subscribing is what grows the show. If you love the show, you rate it five stars, you send it to a friend, and you write a nice little review.

And then once a week, we're going to read the five-star reviews because I'm not reading your Drek three-star review. What are you nuts? I don't need any of that. Five-star reviews only. But if you write a nice one, we're going to read it. Josh, we have a good one. Frickin weird wrote, one of you nuts, five stars, my faves, and then she wrote five of these. That's hard hands.

I love five hearts. Hard hands. I love that. Pretty good. Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see you. Next time. We sure will. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.