Good Guys - Dumbo, Queens

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

A cop, a biker, and a burly construction worker walk into a bar..... Live from Dumbo, Queens: Ben has a head lesion, Josh is pro-mallow, and everyone is pro-s'more! How do you feel about talking about your exes on a date? Or in a relationship? How do we feel about clam chowder? Where can we find a bread fork?! Lastly.... WE. WILL. BE. TALKING. ABOUT. FOOD. If you don't like it, what are ya NUTS?! Leave us a voicemail here! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Go to Quince.com/goodguys for free shipping and 365-day returns on you order Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Safer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Mussel morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast, the number one podcast in the world with two Jewish hosts with BMI's over 30 and very short hair. Yes.

It's too short, right? It's too short. No, first of all, all I want to say is, you're copying me. It's unbelievably short. It's like, did I inspire this? You didn't. And like, let me just explain. Like, why is a species when we watch our barber cutting our hair too short, why is a species

when a masseuse is rubbing us just a little bit too hard? And why is a species when we get something that we don't like at a restaurant and the waiter or waitress comes over and says, has your food? We say, great. Like, what is it that we're so afraid of confrontation? I could have easily just said, hey, you know, know, I think you're cutting it a little bit short. And then I wouldn't have been left with something that feels like a pre-summer haircut.

It's 40 degrees outside and pouring rain. I need more hair. Like if this happened first week of May, okay, okay, no problem. At least I'll feel the breeze in my hair. It's okay. But being this short, cold, no good. Well, a couple of things. First, you are suffering from living in a place where the weather changes like the

temperature of a mid-50s woman going through menopause. It's unbelievable. Secondly, and I will pull this to the room in our dear, dear Marshall, I think you can't, here's the problem with haircuts. I learned this. The first cut is the cut. The first snip is the snip. And then everything next is matching that first cut.

So if the first cut is too short, you're aft, Marshall. As a middle part king, which they haven't seen. Yeah, the first snip is very. important, but there's two snips because it's middle parted. So the first two snips have to be on point. Who sings that song, The First Cut is the Deepest? And do you think it was about a haircut? Rod Stewart?

The first cut is the deepest. Baby, hello. It is. It's the deepest. I agree that the first snip of a haircut can lead you astray, but I don't know, like, like they're they're snipping away. They're slowly going shorter and shorter. I had an opportunity, needless to say, to not have my hair be this short.

And I just let it happen. And it is what it is. I have a dimple. I didn't know that I had a dimple here. I can see it. You have a head dimple? I can see it. That's trauma.

You have a divot in your head? By the way, any chance that's cancer. Any chance that's cancer, that should be our next podcast. Any chance it's cancer? It's the Jewish thing you've ever said. Any chance that's cancer? It's like this big. It's not, it's, it's pretty small.

It's a small little, it looked, oh, no, not dimple. I said dimple. I didn't mean dimple. I meant beauty mark. I meant beauty. Ah. No, yeah, dimple. How would you have a dimple in your head?

I thought you had a divv it in your head. Like you were walking around like, like, like, like homegirl and poor things. This dent that I haven't seen before. Once when I was. Two, Bruce was practicing his golf swing and he kind of got me. Thanks, Dad. No, I mean, I think you're fine. There is like a, let's look it up because why not?

Everyone should know this. And by that, I mean anyone of the Jewish persuasion who's a bit of a hypochondriac, but signs of a cancerous mole. Yes. I think there's an acronym of things to look for. Well, I know that it's not raised. I know that's a thing. Usually they need to be raised. It's not, well, that's not only the thing, though.

It's not always sweet baby raised. God. Okay. ABCDE is the rule in helpful in remembering the warning signs of melanoma, asymmetry, the shape of one half of the skin lesion does not match the other, border. The edges are ragged, notched, uneven, or blurred. Color shades of black, brown, and tan may be present, diameter and evolving. Now I have to look.

Otherwise, I'm not going to be able to have it. So diameter, we're good. Evolving, we wouldn't know. Anyone who's not watching the body right now. Let's just see. Ben is taking a selfie of his head lesion. I think it's fine. It looks symmetrical.

I don't see any jagged lines. It's a light. I wouldn't call it pink. It's in the pink family. It's sort of pig colored. Pig colored. Maybe it's a super sweet skin tag. And it's ugly.

And it's ugly. So, yeah, it is what it is. It is what it is. Wow, a lot's been revealed with this new haircut of yours. I'm so sorry. Yeah, no good. It's fine. It's fine.

This is why I like to keep my hair longer. Long hair, you have less problems. You don't see the male pattern baldness. I have light stuff going on up top. Light stuff. Light stuff. Nothing crazy. Nothing crazy.

But when my hair's longer, you definitely can't tell. When it's shorter, a little more of the sun shines through. Look at my outfit right now. Am I in my, like, uncut jams? Uncut Jones. Am I like Uncut Gems era, like 47th Street Diamond District era? Like, okay, paid shirt, paid shirt, Levi jeans and my gold high necklace, very displayed. I didn't even realize you look fantastic.

Thanks, babe. Wow. This is me not. Shout up page. Marshall? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. I got to get some like.

I'm sitting there. Core. You know, when a gay man's not attracted to you, it really hurts. Yeah. No one said that. All right, Marshall. Finally. So what else?

So, yeah, I'm, yeah, this is where I'm at. I'm in my page life. I'm in my uncut gems era. And I have a very important question for you. What are you doing for Easter, Ben? It's coming up. I know that we like hunt Easter bunny. but like, is that like, is that like code for Jews or like what's the deal?

You know, not everything. I mean, paint some eggs. The way this guy talks. We'll paint some eggs. He forgets. I'm married to a wonderful Irish Catholic person with Irish Catholic family. What are you doing for Easter, Josh? I would love to.

Well, usually we do, we do a nice. Let me lay this out. It's so funny because there is a speak pipe coming. where a girl says, I'd like you to take a chance and try not to talk about food for the next 10 minutes, guys. Impossible. Impossible. Why would we do that? Why?

Why would we do that? Especially Easter. Easter, those chocolate covered eggs? Those little peeps that they sell? Do you like the peeps? Okay, so peeps are bad. They're just odd to me. I don't know how they came up with it.

Like sugar-coated marshmallow. Yeah, yeah. Agreed. in general, but I'm not against the molo in any way. Like, I'm a big, I'm pro molo, and I don't care who hears it. It's not a good marshmallow. Like, I don't know who, you like that marshmallow? No, it's not a good marshmallow.

Let me hear your thoughts on the s'more. Thoughts? Love. I think it's incredibly messy. I certainly wish that there was an easier way to eat it. It's kind of like one of those Nutra-Grain bars where you take a bite and all of a sudden you're drenched in granola. Like, it's unavoidable that you're going to get a little chocolate on your shirt.

You're probably going to burn your lip with the marshmallow. You're probably going to get gram cracker on you. Like, there are issues with it. But when you get a good bite, it's fantastic. My problem with the smore is that if I have one bite of a smore, I'm having 16 Hershey bars. Like, I get a taste of that sweet Hershey's chocolate. And all I want to do is eat the Hershey chocolate straight.

The best part, the best part of the smore, I'm sorry, is the Hershey's chocolate. Wow. A lot to take in there. Because to me, I think Let's debrief. Yeah, no, let's really dig in because I think the party, right? Like the real wild card there is,

it's a temperature play. We're playing with temperature here, right? Yes. Because you get that hot marshmallow that's also, it's kissing, it's touching, there's a relative heatness that's opening up. It's like when you take a wine

and you kind of like aerated and you get all the notes. It's bringing that Hershey to life. It's taking the chocolate on its back and saying, I'm going to carry you for a while, Hershey. Yes. I'm going to open you up. I just had a genius idea. They need to make a gram cracker scoop.

A gram cracker scoop. A gram cracker scoop would solve this problem. Because you take a gram cracker, right, in the shape of a scoop so that it can hold the marshmallow. The marshmallows piping hot. You put the piece of chocolate on it, cover it with another scoop, and all of a sudden you're in like a little, I don't know, it like formed like a log. And now this is edible.

This you can eat. I'm thinking this graham cracker looks like a Graham sombrero. Yes. Yes. Like a gram cracker curious George's owner hat. Oh, oh, that's good. Yes. I love that.

Ooh, that's good. But then, okay, then you also have a piece of gram cracker. that is the exact size of the sombrero, but it's flat. And then all of a sudden, you just have a fully filled sombrero with marshmallows and chocolate. And all I have to say is bravo. Bravo.

I mean, this is a Dia de los Muerreto's play if I've ever seen one. It is. Can you imagine commemorative smores on the day of the dead? Somebody needs to do it. And it's funny that we naturally got here, but I was thinking from our last episode,

the Allen Wrench. I spoke a lot about, I spoke passionately about the Allen Wrench. There are many things like the Allen Wrench that need an upgrade that we just haven't upgraded yet. And one of those things is the Smoor. That's right. One of those needs a smore. What else needs an upgrade?

What else needs an upgrade? You know, arguably everything. Yeah. Parking tickets, I don't want your ticket. I'm not pushing the button. Figure it out. Bill me. Take a picture of my license plate.

I'll see you another time. Do you ever think to yourself, though, like are we using? the best that we have or we just using what we're used to. For example, is the chair the ultimate thing for us to sit in? Is the fork the best way for us to eat food? I'm sure that these things are good. Are they the best? I don't know.

Well, that's a Seinfeld bit, right? Like where he goes, something to the effect of Asian countries really sticking with the chopsticks. He's like, we've figured out a better way, you know, and it's true. But we did. But let me tell you, when I go to a restaurant, a Houston's, you know, a Hillstone establishment, somewhere where you're going to get a nice sushi appetizer, and they hand you those chopsticks. And then maybe you're following it with something that's not an Asian flair of a fried chicken sando, perhaps.

Maybe you're going to have a salad. I love keeping those chopsticks and eating my salad with it. I think it's better than a fork. It definitely has to eat slower. and there's something to be said about eating slower. The chopstick makes you really work for your meal. Yes. And by the way, if you have ever tried to eat sushi without chopsticks, meal ruined.

Ruined. You can't use a fork. You'll have to use your hands. It has to be hands. You can't use a fork. It's totally nuts. That's right. No, that's an interesting.

Yeah, if someone, if you were on a date and the person you're with, you have a beautiful, like, spicy tuna, and she takes it with, she stabs it with her fork, pops it in her mouth like a sushi lollipop. You go, I'm with a murderer. I leave. I leave.

I don't say a word. I get up and I leave. That's sick. Sick. It's like, it's, I don't even know what it is. It's like, it's not, it doesn't necessarily mean that she's a murderer. It just means that she doesn't belong in society.

She should be murdered. Yes. I love that this. girl left us a speak pipe saying that we should stop talking about food and that led us into a 10 minute tangent on food. I know. It's like she knows us or something. It's like she knows us or something. Look, I know you are stressed out about your closet, right? You're like, how do I have so many clothes and nothing to wear? Because you're not buying the right stuff and you're overpaying and you don't have timeless pieces that literally could work now or 10 years from now. But that's where Quince comes in.

They're going to upgrade your wardrobe with quality essentials, but at an unbeatable price. Now, they have these timeless pieces that never go out of style, but the prices are crazy. Like, okay, so I just got this Mongolian cashmere cruneck that literally, you could probably wear it. Like, the only time you wouldn't be able to wear it is between July and August. But 10 months out of the year, it's a little chilly at night. You throw it on, it's comfy, not too hot, not too light, perfect. And that Mongolian cashmere cruneck sweater is 50 bucks. Or they have iconic 100% leather jackets, versatile flow knit, flow knit active wear.

As we know, Ben, my co-host, loves active wear because he's got just formidable legs, really good up close. Anyway, Quintz, they partnered directly with top factories, so they cut out the middleman, and they only work with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices. So indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash good guys for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's QINCE.com slash good guys to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash good guys. Dear Media IRL is back and we're showing up bigger, better, and louder than ever.

Join us on May 4th in Austin, Texas for the ultimate live podcast. experience. Watch and learn from your favorite Dear Media hosts as they bring their insightful discussions from your headphones to the stage. Get ready to be inspired, entertained, and watch audio get a makeover. Tickets are on sale now at Deermedia.com slash IRL. See you on May 4th in Austin, Texas. Okay. What else would be like on a first state a bit of a red flag? Like real, like, real red like yes eating sushi incorrectly let's not even call it incorrectly so we sound boogie like anyone stabbing a sushi roll with a fork scares me like use your hand we're talking at a restaurant red flag's first date at a restaurant yeah or whatever like just certain like things people

could do rude to the waiter or waitress red flag gone no no no if you're not nice if you're not nice no good absolutely no good what i'm gonna let's table this Let's really open it up to the three of us. What about if a person brings up their ex? Because for me, I feel like if there was something pertaining to the conversation and it was relevant, but you said it in a way that was like where you kind of rolled your eyes and said, well, actually, here comes me bringing up my ex. Like if you're in on the joke, maybe it's okay.

But if you just kind of say like, well, Aaron used to, and I got to go, who's Aaron? And you say, well, we were together 39 months. Two weeks and three days and four hours. I don't like pretending that we don't have exes. I don't know if that's a hot take or what that is, but most everyone does. Totally.

If it's respectful and you're not saying how much in love you are with them still, then I think it's fair play. But in what context would you bring up the X where it would be necessary? Okay. So I'm saying to you, where do you live? And you say, I live in, you know, I live in Dumbo Queens. And I'm like, oh, you're a bit of a hipster. And you go, well, my ex was.

I'm looking for a new place. Sure. But that, so in that, in that specific example, you're not close enough, right? Yet, like, you're still getting to know each other. You don't even know where the person lives. Like, yeah. I think that in that situation, bringing up Dumbo Queens, and that your ex-dragged you there is appropriate.

It's Brooklyn, you bugging. You said Dumbo Queens. Did I say Queens? Yes. I thought you were making up a fictitious place. Yeah, my ex-dragged me to Dumbo Queens. This is unhinged. I think personally that there's no reason to bring up the X ever.

There isn't because it's always just like an extra line. Like, oh, why do you love this restaurant? You can just say, oh, I've eaten here with friends. It's delicious. I've been here before. You don't have to say, oh, yeah, me and my ex used to come here all the time. Unnecessary. Unnecessary.

At least know who you're talking to. If they're very sensitive about this stuff, there's never a need to bring up the X in particular. You could just say my friend. And then maybe if she pushes, she will push. All right. I don't know. I don't know. I just think, like, I agree with you.

That would be triggering, right? Because now there's like, there's a shadow over that place, right? Because you immediately go, well, now this can never be our place because it was their place. Yeah. Right. And not sure I even want to go here anymore because it was their place. But like, if there's an opportunity where even like, if you're talking about like, oh, you're eating Indian food and you're like, I love. Indian food actually like I went I was in India and I had this incredible dish blah blah blah

and so and they go like oh like who'd you go with or like what was it or like my ex was Indian so we spent a lot of time there you know what I mean like there's pertinent information that's relevant to it that I think is unemotional and if the person takes offense to that I think they're fucking nuts sure yes in that situation again and in the Dumbo queens example I agree with you I agree with you. That said, it does depend heavily on how jealous your current girlfriend or wife or whatever it may be is because there are oftentimes or I'll say, oh, remember when we stayed at this hotel in Puerto Rico and Claudia will say, oh, it must have been another girl. And it's like, no, it was you. You just don't remember. So I know that like, if I actually brought something up,

God would she be upset. Is turty viciously jealous? It jealous is the wrong word. just just protective protective yeah that's a nice yeah that's a that's a nice spin cycle you put that through jealous jealous protective um jealous which is interesting too because in theory you guys met so young i was going to say like any like oh i i ate at this restaurant with my ex what was i six like i went to jerky cheese with her yeah yeah so like no it doesn't it doesn't apply to me We met so young. Yeah, I don't like, I mean, I think my wife knows of like a couple stories of me and, you know, anyone I used to date. And like, I know one or two of hers that I bring up and she hates it.

And I love, love, love, love, love, love, love it. I'm like, remember him? I was like, am I doing it like Andrew? No, I'm kidding. That's funny. Yeah, I think like the possessive owner. ownership nature of not projecting that on anything or anyone or anything we've said, but like, when people feel like if anyone's super jealous or doesn't want to talk about people's past

in a respectful way, there seems to me a need to like to have possess, possess the person that they're with, like an ownership. And I don't know. Like I'm very accepting to the fact that like there was a huge life before. Hopefully there's not a huge life after. But in this life, in this moment, in this movie, we are together. We are the unit. And you existed before me, but this is the thing right now.

It's a very mature take. Is it? It is. Yeah, it's a very mature take. Like, okay, what if you and turds are 65 and you really bought up to each other, like, you know, there's just something I never tried. And it's, you know, you're like, I've never slept with a Puerto Rican. person. I don't know. No. And she's like, I've always wanted to be with, you know, burly construction worker. At 65, do you honor each other and go, you know what,

life is short and you're mine? And I think so. I think so. I think so. 65. I again, this is taking into account that she's going to ask to be with a burly construction worker at 65. I highly doubt it. And am I really going to? to say, you know, all of a sudden, I really need that Puerto Rican flair. I'm not sure. In this hypothetical situation, though, if one really felt that way, I think I would be okay with it at 65. I think that saying yes gives you a greater opportunity for them not to do it anyways. I feel like that type of question is also really to like get a rise. There's no situation where Claudi says, hey, you know, thinking about fucking a construction worker.

Like, I just, again, maybe she has a YMCA fetish, like a village. people thing. And she's like, listen, before I go, I'd like a cop, a biker. A constructed worker. Oh, man. Oh, my. Is there a word, is there a word for something that sounds like a slur but isn't? A euphemism. Isn't it wouldn't be it. Sounds like but isn't. Sounds like a slur but isn't. Sorry, Marshall. Asking chat GPT. Asking chat GPT as we as we as we speak. Because I have Romeo, my new beautiful puppy. Very difficult, by the way. He loves to bite my ankles, draw blood. He's beautiful. But puppies are really freaking hard. And I talked to him in that like, ooh, cutie, cutie puppy voice. And I said to him last night, I'm like, oh, who's a cute little bone

liquor? And there's something about bone liquor that made it seem like I was calling my dog a slur. I don't know if that's just me. But I thought to myself, you know, I'm sorry. Calling you a bone Licker wasn't nice, even though he was licking a bone. So I just thought to myself, is there a word for that? Interesting. It does that, it sounds like you're calling him a monster truck. A bone licker. Yeah, it doesn't sound nice.

The bone lickers going to crush some cars. Have you been to a monster truck situation? No, I've, I dream of it. We should go. I love Americana, babe. I want to go to a bull riding thing. Yeah. P.B.

Babe. Is that what it's called? American B. You're coming with me next year. We're going back to Fort Worth to the rodeo. Oh, you'd love it. I want to go to a rodeo. I want to go to Hershey, Pennsylvania.

I want to do it all. I want to Bush Gardens. Yeah, Bush Gardens. Are they still around? Not sure. Not sure. No, probably not. I want to go to Mount Rushmore.

Oh, I'm in. Never been. Yeah. I want to see Alaska. I want to storm the capital. Yes. Right? Jan 6 is coming up and it's a big election.

Woo! I wonder if there, I'm sure this is such a dumb subject because we're going to be riddled in the comments people being like, don't you know? And I'm like, yes, I know you're an expert on January 6th. But I wonder if there were like people on the outside of the Capitol at Capitol going like, do we really, should we? Like, was there ever, was there anyone who was a voice of reason who was like,

think about it. I'm sure that people got cold feet. I'm sure. I'm sure. They're all like revved up. They had like three Red Bulls. They're starting to sprint in. They're sweating. They're like, oh, all right, fine. And they rip off the bandaid. Or I'm sure that there are people that started to rip that bandaid felt those long hairs and were like, I'm out of here. I'm sure that there were people like they're like, and then there's one friend who's like, listen, I'm in. Like let's go steal a lectern and like, you know, draw on the walls of Nancy Pelosi's office. Or I have a really. lovely reservation at this seafood place with the stone crab. We're right by Maryland. The stone crab will knock your socks off. So yes, I say let's go steal a lectern or let's go get some clam chowder.

Yeah. I used to love a clam chowder before I gave off, swore off seafood. Loved a clam chowder. I haven't had a clam 20 years. 20 years since I had a clam. Delicious. And I prefer anybody who. prefers, this is a red flag again.

You're on a date. You have two options. New England and Manhattan. You pick Manhattan. Red flag. I would all up that one more. I'd say anyone who turns down a bread bowl. Ooh, delicious. Right? Delicious. Yeah. And for those that don't know, I'm sure you know, Manhattan clam chowder

or red sauce. New England clam chowder. Basically clams Fettuccini Alfredo. Unbelievable. So heavy. So delicious. And yes, a bread bowl. Fantastic. Are those oyster crackers? God, we're back to talking about food. Gorgeous.

And why is the only major piece of flatware a bread bowl? There's no bread plates. There's no bread forks. Bread fork. Bread fork would be tough. But a bread plate I'm in for. I'm totally in for a bread plate. Why not?

I don't know. I don't know. They should make it. Absolutely. It's kind of like the pizza from Domino's where you can pull off the crust. Which, by the way, is pretty dumb. Because then how do you eat the pizza? You rip off all the crust.

How do you hold your pizza? You just, yeah, then you got to fold it from the middle. But then you have no crust left. I don't think anyone at Domino's headquarters is worried about your dining experience with their pizza. I think their entire goal is sell more pizza. Yeah, sell more pizza. I might be miss speaking here, so let's see. But I think Domino's has a Christian town that they created in Florida.

Hold on. Really? I'm going to Google Domino's Christian World. And let's see what happened. World Florida. I think so. Or maybe just the owner is pretty devout. Do you have to be Catholic to live in Ave Maria, Florida?

Oh, wow. Wow. Well, I'll ask another question. Do you have to be Jewish to live in Oevee Long Island? Where is Ave Maria, Florida? Let me guess. Naples? It says, okay, it says nine years.

How Domino's Pizza Chains founder established Ave Maria in Florida. Ave Maria, a planned community outside of Naples. Wow, what a call. What a call, Ben. I love having a brilliant co-host. There's something about the west side of Florida that just screams, we don't like Jews. It opened in 2007, based on the vision of former Domino CEO, Tom Monaghan. In launching it, Monaghan said the town would run on Catholic ideologies and shunn, birth control, and pornography.

While he took back the statement, some say the community remains religious-centric, and some are calling it unconstitutional. The developers of the town have ambitious plans of high-end homes, top-notch infrastructure, and schools. There'll be 4,000 acres of land, 11,000 homes, and as of 2015, 750 homes have already been built. Isn't that fun? And at the center of the town is the Ave Maria Oratory, the only one. church in the community. Good question. Is it just made by the creator of dominoes and actually has nothing to do with dominoes?

You know that there's, I mean, no, there's got to be dominoes at the church. There's a little Cesar's right next door. I mean, that's pretty wild, huh? Yeah, that's nuts. That's nuts. Speaking of nuts, I want to get into my whatia nuts because it's also about food. And we're just not going to escape food today. this woman with her speak pipe saying that we don't stop talking about food,

honestly, my brain could only go to food the whole time, the whole time. My mom sent me an article. My mom periodically will send me weird news and say, Ben, I think this is a witty you nuts. And mom, this is a wadie nuts.

Have you ever heard of meat glue? No, tell me more. Meat glue is something that is legal in the United States. It's banned in the UK. And what meat glue is, is you can take, Josh, pieces of cubed meat. Okay.

Take a piece of ribi, a piece of filet, a piece of knee, a piece of shoulder, whatever it is, cubes. Push them into like basically a meatball of meat. But you ask, how do we get it to look like a steak? Meat glue. Pour on the meat glue. Mix the cubes together. Take some saran wrap. Cover it.

Put it in the shape that you want. You want in the shape of a steak. Come back in a couple hours. steak. How vile is that? What are you nuts? And now I'm thinking to myself, I've been to a cheap restaurant, I've been to a restaurant where the meat has felt a little cuby, you know? Like, the steak wasn't perfect. And now I'm thinking of, have I eaten meat cube? Have I eaten meat glue cube steaks? It's fucking disgusting and should be illegal. It should be illegal. That's nuts. I don't know anybody who would be like sweet meat glue.

But yeah, I think they do it with a lot of things. Like plenty of things are like mashed and pushed together. They do it with fish, imitation crab and whatnot. They do it with, I think they're doing it. And by the way, and I love like an impossible meat or a beyond burger. But it's all chemicals. Like, let's just not kid ourselves. Like, I don't think there's any way out of this thing unless you just eat pretty basic.

There's just, but I guess, I guess the difference between a steak. and the chicken nugget. I know when I'm going to get a chicken nugget, that there's probably like a piece of beak, a little tooth, some knee. It's ground up, right? You're eating, it's ground up. You throw everything,

but the kitchen sink into that nugget, right? But when I eat a chicken tender, tender, when I eat a beautiful piece of steak, there's something about the sanctity of meat, title of the episode, sanctity of meat. Yes. There's something about the sanctity of meat

that I'm expecting to get a piece of meat. that came from one singular cow. Right. The sanctity of meat. Just saying the sanctity of meat. Well, my Woody and Nuts is recently on my flight to beautiful Edmonton, Canada, and you know I'm bullish on Canada. You know, it's one of my favorite places.

I'm ready to move there at any moment. So I fall asleep, morning flight, right? And I feel tap, tap, tap, tap. Now I'm feeling a poke. Right? Now I'm feeling something jammed into my side. I wake up. I remove not only my mouth guard, but my night mask.

And it's the lovely flight attendant going, will you be dining with us this morning? Ah, no. Well, I, what? I was, I was asleep. Oh, should I wake up for some imitation egg omelet that's going to give me IBS after this? Oh, no, I think I'll pass and thank you for waking me up. What are you nuts?

If I'm asleep, I'm asleep. It's airplane food. Morning flight, morning flight? 7 a.m. How far were you going? Three hours. Horrible. Crazy.

There's an unwritten rule. It's probably a written rule. Morning flight, they don't turn on any of the lights. They keep it dark. People tend to be quieter on those flights. You typically don't hear many kids. Like people aren't bringing their kids on the 6 a.m. flight. Usually.

Yes, true. And flight attendants are certainly not waking patrons to see if they want some shit snack. I could not believe it. Now, if we were, you know, third course into a wonderful dining, you know, transcontinental flight and they're busting out those beautiful fresh baked cookies. Sure. Wake me up.

If you fell asleep between the entree and the dessert, she can wake you up and ask if you want a cookie. Right. I agree. I agree. But otherwise, this is completely, completely unacceptable. But knowing you, the people don't know this. I try and share as much of this as I can.

The people don't know that you are truly too kind for words to everyone. No, I'm a, I'm a devil. What did you actually say to her? Nothing. Obviously nothing. You're like, oh, no, thank you so much for asking me. I'm good. I said, no, but can I help you with any of the serving?

I just, I couldn't believe it. It's funny. Speaking of delicious things, did you hear this, and this is a barn burner? McDonald's will sell Krispy Kreme Donuts at all of its U.S. locations by the end of 2026. Krispy Kreme donuts is going to be in all 13,500 locations across the U.S. The fast food giant announced on Tuesday, it'll take about two and a half years to add Krispy Kreme sugary treats to McDonald's nation. nationwide, but it's a partnership.

And, whoa. Is that unbelievable? Whoa. Two things. First, good for Krispy Cream. I feel like they had one leg left. They were hobbling everywhere, about to fall over. And all of a sudden.

Oh, yeah. I don't think that Krispy Cream was doing great. I think that they were falling off. I think the donut shop in general is having a tough time. Sure, the Dunkin' Donuts, because they really, evolved, right? Duncan Donuts. Breakfast food, coffee, all this stuff. Crispy cream, just a donut shop. And not your mom and pop's donut shop, just a donut shop. The best donut, I think so. But just a donut shop. For McDonald's to give them 13,000 stores. It's a big, big, big business boost for

Krispy cream. It's a good for them. Wow. The amount of heart attacks in the U.S. is going to skyrocket. It's going to go nuts. But also, it's going to be fascinating to see if they start getting real creative about the collabs. I mean, is there one day going to be a Big Mac with a nestled glazed donut instead of that third piece of middle bread? Or the glazed donut is the bread. Right. That's what I'm saying.

Wow. Yeah, totally. Totally. Can I get an egg McMuffin on a glazed? Ooh. Holy crap. You know they're thinking about that at McDonald's right now. Yeah, they are.

They are. Wow. That is something else. High people High people everywhere will never be the same and marijuana users and fat people everywhere

will also never be the same Can you imagine marijuana Reddit right now? Yeah going nuts But you know what I gotta fucking respect the game and this is America at its best right

Novo Nordisk Eli Lilly they're having a parade all these anti-obesity medicines the Walmart stock is down because people aren't buying much food you know what you know what McDonald's go

Hold my soft drink. They say, hold my... No problem. I got something for him. We'll keep them fat. We'll keep them nice and fat. We got this. Right?

Yeah, that's the only explanation. Hold my beer. We got this. Hold my belly. We got this. We got this. Yeah, I'm going to give them something that's 9,000 calories.

Good luck, Ossempic. Good luck, Mujaro. Yeah. It's just funny. You go from the Mick plant. That's probably their last innovation to the Krispy cream. Do you think Mungaro is living in your cells in your body? It can't be Mungaro, right?

It's Mungaro. Do you think Mungaro is living in the cells in your body and they're just kicking back like it's spring break and they're just kicking fat's ass? And then someone, he's a glazed Krispy. cream quarter pounder and it's like a tidal wave coming over the beaches. It's like Normandy.

The glazed quarter pounder with cheese is a happy meal. What toy does it come with? I'll start. A little caricature of a 400 pound man. And as you keep buying, it gives you things that he can wear. So one is little Velcro shoes. The other is a little hat with a propeller. The other is a seapelt extender.

Did you say a scooter already? You got to collect them all. Oh my, a scooter. Double-wide Air Monarch, Nike's, Tripoli New Balances, Tommy the Hamas shirt, sweatpants, gold bond powder. Oh, that's funny.

Oh, my God. I mean, shout out. You know what? Much respect to McDonald's and the Krispy Kreme organization. And yet there is another story that I think is worth mentioning that Jennifer Lopez's go-to bodega order gets ruthlessly mocked by New Yorkers. Bronx and the Hood are tired, they say.

I guess in her new movie, she talks about the things that she used to order when she was living in the Bronx. And in footage, she says that she'd go to a bodega and order a ham and cheese on a roll, a small bag of chips, and an orange drink, adding about the unspecified drink, if you know, you know. Hey, Ben, do you know? Fanta? Fanta?

Fanta? It's Fanta, right? Okay, wrong. But I don't blame you because I forget that you are on the younger side of millennial. Orangeina? Nice. I put some respect on that answer. I think, let's, first of all,

I see, high see, worthy. Fanta wasn't a thing. Fanta's always been a thing, but I don't remember it ever being in bodegas in like the 80s and 90s. To me, there was two orange drinks that were like name brand. There was sun-kissed and there was Crush.

Yes, cool. And those were like standard orange sodas. Crush also made a beautiful grape soda that was, wow. Then, of course, you had like quarter water. You had like those off-brand, like, 50-cent, like, we're normally like a sun-kiss back in my day. A 20-ounce plastic bottle of sun-kiss was $1, or like a buck-25. But then they had this off-brand stuff called like Bahama Punch

or just rando shit, and that was 50 cents. But like people are like, we actually don't know the orange drink. And also the ham and cheese on a roll, like, to me a bodega order is like a bacon, egg and cheese on like a Kaiser bun done only the way a bodega can or like a chop cheese. Like, I don't, it's interesting. It's certainly a lazy order. Also, what does she have it dry? There's nothing on it? Ham cheese, no mayo, no mustard dry. Like, if you, if you're not commenting that you're lubing it up, you're probably having it dry. And that's, that's nuts. That's totally nuts. But I don't know if I'm up in arms. It is what it is. It is what it is.

I expect nothing less, nothing more from her. I don't expect much from J-Lo at all, though. You halted me. And now I'm going to say, okay, fine, okay, look, that was a little harsh. I'm not going to say that. You know who's really cool, though? Who's really cool?

Reba. Reba McIntyre. Thank you guys for listening to the Good Dash podcast, available on all podcast platforms. We're talking Apple, Amazon. Give us five stories in the podcast app. What else? Rate review and subscribe.

Your reviews really help us. Next episode, we're going to do a bunch of speak pipes. We love you all, and we love Riba the most. And watch Riba, the sitcom from 2003 to 2007. It's fantastic. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.