Good Guys - Elmo Said WHAT?

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

Mazel morons! Elmo’s in hot water, Josh is his crisis PR team, and Ben's five days deep into a creatine bender. Today we’re unpacking Sesame Street’s antisemitism scandal (yes, really), debate Epstein conspiracies, and pitch a big-and-proud fashion line that’s sure to please. Plus: the rise of the gym cigarette, TikTok steroid bros, questionable wedding etiquette, and Ben’s ongoing feud with a tank-topped Hamptons rager. Also…is Josh OK? Is anyone? Is this what well-nourished looks like? What are ya nuts? Love ya morons!  Leave us a voicemail here! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: If you're ready to build your own business - whether it's merch, products, or the next best idea - get on Shopify.com/goodguys and make it happen! Get this new customer offer and your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.com/goodguys Visit www.sleep.me/GoodGuys to get 20% off your Chilipad with code goodguys. That’s HomeChef.com/GOODGUYS for FIFTY PERCENT OFF your first box and free dessert for life! Applebee’s iconic 2 for $25 deal is back featuring their NEW Chicken Parmesan Fettuccine and NEW Big Bangin’ Burger. You can get 1 appetizer and 2 entrees for $25 Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys, they're not the great guys. We're just so good, good guys. Mazumorans, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.

I'm sitting here with the head of Elmo's crisis team. It's Ben Topper. Oh, my God. God, what the hell was that? Oh, man. What was the password? Elmo loves Hitler. Tell people what happened.

Elmo went on an anti-Semitic tirade. He wrote, kill the Jews. He wrote a bunch of weird crap that he clearly doesn't think Sesame Street loves all people. They then wrote a weird apology. Elmo was hacked. Elmo wouldn't do this. I love that they kept it in Elmo's voice.

Like, just right, like this account was hacked. It doesn't need to be. Elmo said it's hacked. Elmo would never. By the way, am I Yoda? Well, let's, so Elmo's Twitter. You do a good Elmo. We should do a good Elmo.

Let's do an episode where, you know, sometimes Elmo needs to learn a lesson on Sesame Street. So let's do an episode, you're on Sesame Street. Elmo messed up. And Elmo needs to learn a lesson about these anti-Semitic tweets. Elmo, why was your password one, two, three? Why was your password one, two, three? I told you, Elmo, that you needed to make your password stronger.

Elmo made a mistake. He was hanging out with his friend, Mr. Kanye. And Mr. Kanye asked to borrow his phone while he was locked in. And so you think that Mr. Kanye, you're saying you had a stronger password. Mr. Kanye, change it to one, two, three, logged in, and then all of a sudden, Mr. Kanye is the one who wrote, fuck the Jews. Is that right, Mr. Elko? Allegedly, Mr. Kanye was playing me a cut from Donda three, to which I said, Mr. Kanye, I would go back to watch the throne. That seems to be when things were working better.

But Mr. Kanye said, no, my audience loves you. gospel and I said, agree to disagree. He sounds like Elmo from the streets. Anyway, I don't know why people got so upset. I love Jewish people.

My friend Oscar the Grouch, I think, is Jewish because he's very frugal and very mean. Shit. Oscar's very cheap. Like a lot of Jews, I know.

Shit, damn it. No, Elmo. No, I mean, I got sold a fake chain on 47th Street by Moses and Jewel. And I was feeling a little angry. It was me. It's too good.

Oh, my God, that is too good. That is too good. So, yeah, Elmo, I hope you learned your lesson, even though it sounds like he didn't learn your lesson, you were really the one that was tweeting the whole time. I just really wanted to know what happened to my friend,

Jeffrey Epstein. Because three minutes were removed from that videotape, and I want to know where they were. You got me, Elmo. I don't know. We don't know. Let's transition off this touchy subject to the Epstein tape because everyone's like three minutes were removed

from the video and I want to be like, yeah, ever heard of a trailer? Like, yeah, okay? There were previews before it. Yeah, I, I, all I know is, I don't know enough. I just love, it seems weird. This all seems sketchy and there are just too many powerful people involved for it to just be, they eat nothing. That's all.

That's what I think. I just love the one thing that unites both parties is covering up the Jeffrey Epstein tapes. Which goes to show you that like the 1% of the 1% of the 1% of the 1% of the 1% of the 1% of the root of all evil. And everybody else is just like pretending to push allegiances towards one evil versus another evil. And it's like if you can be a part of a pedophilia ring, you're evil. Sorry, that's not like a, it's not a Democrat Republican of Europe. It's not even a U.S. thing.

If you were a part of a pedophilia ring, you're a bad guy. You're a bad guy. So I don't know why we're, I really hope that they really don't exist. I, I'm sure that they do. But like, I don't know why you would cover these people up. Like, it just doesn't, it just doesn't, it's just not right. I get why people are angry. I'm angry.

I want to know. It's wild. It just, yeah, we're living in a constructed matrix reality. And there are just like people pulling the levers. And unfortunately, I think people are just like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like I really got to worry about paying for my kids' after-school program next month. And they're just banking on the idea that people will forget because life will get busy. People will forget because life gets busy.

That's just the way that this works. Like the only reason that this is back is because they are talking about it. The second that they stop talking about it again, it will eventually disappear into nothing. We will never end up learning anything. The exact same thing will happen with, didn't they say that they were like really, like stuff on JFK, like they were saying that they were going to release like a bunch of stuff. And all of a sudden, unless all these conspiracy theories are just nothing, but I'm a big conspiracy theorist. And I think that conspiracy theories are real. I don't think that they're

conspiracy theories. So it can't, and not everything could just be nothing. I don't know. I tend to not believe in conspiracy theories just because most of the people believe in them, aren't you, Ben, like respectable good people with good lives and good jobs and they live in a basement. But there's like a difference between a conspiracy theory and like, thinking that there was some foul play with JFK. I don't think that's like a conspiracy theory. No, that's pretty clear. I think that's pretty cut and dry.

But people will call it a conspiracy theory, right? So I don't know. I don't know, Josh. It's wild. It's wild. I want no part of it. I want to go to Home Goods. I want no part of it either.

By the way, speaking of Home Goods, you know where I went recently, Josh? That is almost as good as Home Goods. Where? Marshals. Oh, please. I used to go to Marshals. There was Marshalls on Long Island.

My mom would take me to. She's from Jericho. We would go to the Marshalls in Jericho. And I would just rummage through. They would have like, they were probably fake, like Swingman basketball jerse. Does I remember finding like a Walt? Nothing fake at Marshalls, babe. I remember finding a Walt Brazier jersey for like $11,

begging my mom to buy it for me and she did. And I would buy like a bunch of jerseys there. But in my head, it was just like discounted clothes. Yes. I went back. This is TJ Max. This is home goods. Their home section, beautiful pots, pans.

I'm always looking for plates for 4th of July. I'm looking for pargy plates. They got pargy plates. What is pargy? Pargy is gorgeous. It's a gargy pargy, gorgeous. It just went from gorgeous to gargy. Gargi rhymes pargy.

So it's really just gorgeous. Oh, I hate that. Oh, my God. I was hoping for so much more. No, no, that's, that's it. That's it. Listen, we're no better. Definitely not.

Yeah, man, Marshall's growing up before I would go back to school, it'd be like, come on, let's go get a few pieces of clothing for your school year. And it would be, you know, Fubu, the acronym stands for us, by us. And people assume that that's just black. people, but it's not. It's also heavy-said Jewish teens because I was zooted head to toe in Fubu, and it just, it, it hugged my, my rolls and my curves so good. And to the great Damon John, who is a friend who will come on the pod one day, I hope. Thank you, sir, because maybe you didn't intend or maybe you did intend, but I felt completely seen in my Rubin-esque 13-year-old body.

is he a Chrissy DiStefano friend or is he a friend friend? Is he a Pete Davidson? I just want to know. Are you guys like, because Dave and John, that's a powerful friend, my man. That's a powerful friend. I've been in his book. He wrote about me in his book. We've been to dinner.

I'd say that you're friends. I don't think we are. But I appreciate you. I think if I reach out to his people who I talk to here and there, we have a lovely work. kind of relationship. I've mentioned him doing the pod before. We got to start a plus-sized clothing line with him.

He knows it. Let's make something for the youth. Are there still plus-sized youth with Ozempic? Or it's not a thing anymore. Yeah. I don't think so. I mean, I don't think kids are allowed to take Osempic. Like, can you take it before 16?

You can. Really? I'm pretty sure the kids are getting jabbed. If you're like an overweight. young teen. I think you're getting jab these days. Wow. What a game. I just wonder, I just wonder, well, like, will child, it's a crazy thought. And not everybody has access to these drugs. Of course, you still have some level of childhood obesity. But it's just like how much will that change. I still think we start it. It's not like DXL is going out of business tomorrow because of

OZempic. Sure. Okay. Also, people wear with a badge of honor. There are plenty of people that are super fat that wear it proudly. I wear it proudly. I wear it proudly. So, I don't know. I think we start to do with David John. We should do every month, we should do a themed month devoted to people who are big and proud. Love it.

I love it. February is Jewish teen month. And then, you know, March is American Samoa month. Yeah. I love it. Big and proud from all over. Do you remember that?

Alabama month. What was that video? There was like a kid, I think he might have been from the Philippines. He was probably eight. Sumo Saturdays. Overweight and smoking a cigarette.

Do you know the video that I'm talking about that like a year old that would rip Sigs? Yes. Oh, you're you. Maybe I do. Yeah. Yeah, I'm proud of him. We get the Rizzler. It's Rizler Appreciation Month.

Yes. Right? We get some new Rizzler. You know, Tony Cash, he's not fat, but he's smooth as silk. Okay. So our ambassadors are the Rizler. Jack Black The Rizzler

Jack Black Tim Dillon John Goodman lost too much weight He saw He doesn't qualify anymore He's a stick And maybe a hologram of me In 2002

And I'm like I'm the store greeter But it's a hologram It's like A hologram of you In 2000 Hives Hologram of you in 2002

Yeah And a hologram of me in 2006. And I inevitably shoot back up. Do you think that's ever possible? No, no. And also, I want to keep

going through our ambassadors for our XL line with Damon John, but then I want to go into Josh. I'm on day five of creatine. And I'm fucking cruising. And you're working out? It finally clicked. Yes, it never clicked for me.

I'm cruising. Let's just finish up this conversation. We got the Riz. We got a hologram at you. We got to get a hologram at John Candy. We just have to. Lena Dunham for our ladies department. Yeah, we're getting Lena Dunham.

Oh, my God. Olivia, you're going to have to listen hard to this happen. We're getting. No, this is good. No, this is good. But like, she looks amazing. And like, shout out to her. Like, fine, okay.

You throw her out there. Fine, no, Lena Dunham. She's not an ambassador. She's not welcome. She's too fit. Who is a lot? Lizzo. Lizzo?

Lizzo's fit, too. Yeah, and she's, she's like fit for her. She's big fit. She still could wrap our line proudly. Okay, okay. You could still wrap our line proudly. Shout out. Yeah, because we're for all bodies, thick and small, but just not,

we're for thick and small, but just not tall. No tall. Short fat kings and queens. Thick and old, but not tall. Yeah, that's true. Big and tall. How about just big? All right, so bring Damon John on the pod.

I think that there's something here. This is direct consumer business. We're going to power it with Shopify, 44-inch waste or more. And I think that this is it, Josh. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Shopify. Folks, do you have a movement that you're trying to start? And I'm not talking about it without a whole movement. I'm talking about a community-driven, cause-driven project.

You want to rally the troops? Maybe it's like feed the streets that Josh is always doing. He's a better person than me. Are you looking to start a charity? Are you looking to accept donations? Josh, let's think about this, okay? Because we can do this all on more on Shopify. But let's think about this.

We're starting a charity. What are we starting? Okay, we aren't starting the Joshy and Benny Big Boys Foundation. Okay? This is for thick boys of any class, economic class, but who need better access to bigger pants. bigger clothes. I'm talking,

and we go from like big boys to tarps, okay? I'm saying we have categories, right? We have like chubby kids all the way to you get in your own TLC show. There was the Boys and Girls Club. Now there's the Big Boys Club. It's the Benny and Joshy Big Boys Club. Here's what you can expect, okay? You're going to go to Benny and Joshy big boys club.

com, which is of course, power by Channel 5.01LC. Is that right? I think so. First, we're going to ask for your waist sides. Okay. So you're going to take it. You're going to take out the measuring tape. You're going to tell us, and I'm letting you know if you wear a size 42 pants and under, not accepted.

We're looking at 42 and above, okay? And there is no max. We're fully inclusive. You have a size 80 and you're one step closer to God. This is the place for you. We want an A1C in the double digits. You're going to go, you're going to give us your waist size and then you're going to pick for materials, cotton, jean. Then we even have a service where we'll put the clothes on you if you are.

upload a photo. Find magic allows you to see yourself in these clothes. It is fantastic. So if you want to start a cause-driven movement like us, you're going to go to Shopify.com slash good guys today. Because I'm telling you, it's never been easier. You can collect donations. You can collect pants sizes, whatever you want.

Do it today. Yeah, top to bottom. It's got you covered, Shopify. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends. It's Sleep Me. Folks, are you sleeping hot. than hell. Even worse, your wife loves a toasty bed, yuck, but you desperately need to stay cool. And you're waking up drenched and sweat instead? What do you nuts? Meet ChiliPad by Sleep Me.

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sleep. Me slash good guys and see why cold sleep is turning. What are you sleeping hot for? What are you nuts? Into what are you nuts for not trying chili pad? Let me talk to you about my health journey. Okay. Because not that you ask, but I've made tremendous strides.

Okay, tremendous. First of all, I found out, folks, if I told you to take turmeric, this is like a class action waiting to happen, if I told you to take turmeric, but I never told you that you needed activated, I think it's like pepper or something, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. Cucumin and bioprint. Correct. So I've now switched to one tablet that has both at the minute, the turmeric and the curcumin.

That's what you need to buy, because otherwise you're buying turmeric and you're peeing it right out. It doesn't work. It's going to give you hives. Okay. So that's on the supplement journey. Besides that, I'm taking our beautiful sponsor, Momentusis creatine, and let me tell you, Josh, I'm on day five. I'm taking the recommended dose for you and Terry Dubrow.

Okay? The five milligrams, Josh, I take it with my EG1. I shake it. I drink it. All of a sudden, my muscles are like, hey, Ben, you want to go fucking do something? And I'm like, yeah, muscles, I do. I've gone to the gym four days in a row. Wow.

Good for you. Four days in a row. We're lifting lightly. We're doing cardio. We're doing the bike. We're here, Josh. Good. Plunging.

And I'm back in a great groove. And really, I swear, if you're having trouble getting back in a groove, take creatine, your muscles. My muscles, they screamed at me. Is that what happens to you? I take it and they're like, hey, dude, work us. Work us. We want to work.

It's a great thing. I do like moments. momentous. I use it too. I think the creatine is great. Sometimes I do a little scoop and a half. I'm nuts. I like looking a little bloated in the face. But it's solid stuff. And I don't know, I work out, I try to work out. Honestly, I would work out six days a week without fail if I didn't sometimes have kids in life come up. And it's my great pleasure. It is the game changer of all things. It makes me feel better. But it also makes this Kepi feel better. This is a bad neighborhood when I'm not working out.

But when I am working out, it's like I'm power washing. I'm getting the gum off the streets, the tar, the disgusting rubbish. So, you know, Terry Dubrow said, if I could choose you to stop smoking or to work out, I would say smoke while you work out. He did say that. And I loved him for that because I'm thinking of picking back up cigarettes. And by picking back up, I mean, I never smoked. But like, I just haven't had a cigarette in far too long.

It's been at least a year. I just need one. Oh, that's unacceptable. I need one. Like, they're just, they're so gorgeous. Let's make that with Damon John, too. The gym cigarette. What do you think?

Yeah, Jim Sig. It's a pre-workout cigarette. Oh, I love it. I love it. There's creatine in it. You're smoking your creatine. You're smoking pre-workout. You're blowing it on your Nautilus machine.

And then you're getting a personal record. Do you think that you can make either a creatine-based Zin product? where you just throw it in and it starts doing all the things that creatine does, or a creatine-based fake pen. I think they're both terrible ideas. But what about you're just like, you're on the elliptical, all of a sudden, boom. Yeah. You're doing the skis.

You're doing the skis. You're doing the skis. Yes. He doesn't see it. Okay. He doesn't see it. Look, the truth is that I follow a lot of TikTok sterile. accounts because I like to

if that's not a walking red flag if I've ever heard one I follow a lot of TikTok steroid accounts oh my God I'm like what's your stack bro it's like when people go to Yelp before to see what

they serve at the restaurant I'm like I know I'm going to land there in the next two to five years so yeah I want to know exactly where the hair is going to grow it's going to But yeah, creatine, Josh, is it? What else should I take? What are you taking?

I don't take much. I think like, and I don't even take creatine that much. My whole goal in life... Oh, you don't take it every day? I thought you took it every day. No, I'd cycle on and off. Sometimes I'll take it five days straight, then I'll take the weekend off. I don't want to be on anything.

I'm on my cholesterol medicine for life. That, I have no problem. I don't believe it has deleterious effects. So I'm on that. I stopped taking my antidepressant after three years. feel okay. When did you stop? You haven't noticed? Like two months ago. No, I haven't. Which is he didn't need it.

Mazeltov. Congrats. You don't know that either. Stop. You and your blanket state. I see it. I would see it, Josh. I would see it if you're in a dark place. I would see it. You're good. I hide it. I hide it. Deep down. You're good. No, it's bad in here. You're good. You're going to do this to Ruby. He's going to be like, Dad, I'm having a rough time. Ruby. You're gorgeous. You're good.

Just brush yourself off. You're fine. You're like a father for the 50s. You're good. Dad, I've cried out for help. You're good. Dad, I'm having an affair with my teacher. You're good.

Is she hot? He's lovely. All right, fine. Now it's time. It's time we had a talk. Get out of my house. A piece of shit. You're a piece of shit.

Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I, you know, I think it's interesting because people... Why did you go off it? Well, maybe the better question is, why did I go on it? Well, I think that you... Okay, let's... Yeah, why'd you go on it? So...

When did you go on it? It's very interesting. I went on it three months before Shai was born. So that would be like June 2022. And I'll never forget, I had been traveling a lot. I was doing Oppenheimer, and then I was doing a lot of college gigs. and I was just like traveling, working. It was a lot.

I knew shy was coming. And this is a weird story. I woke up one morning and it was like 5 a.m. because I had to get on a flight back home. And I remember it was when Dave Chappelle had been attacked on stage by that guy who ran on stage at the Hollywood Bowl. Yes. And he was like a young guy in his early 20s. And luckily security intercepted.

beat the crap out of him and, you know, he was taken away. And I remember I just opened my phone to try to like wake up because I had this early flight and I saw what had happened. And then I saw a picture of this kid and his arm was twisted in this horrible way. And I started to cry. And I just started welling up because it was and all I could think was where was this kid's parents? Like I had this wave of fatherly like, oh, if only I could have like helped this kid to not

make this horrible decision. And I was like, something's off with Joshy. And then I was driving a couple days later. And it was one of those moments where you hear it on the radio, like a commercial came on the radio saying, are you burned out? Do you have feelings of sadness? Do you feel completely overwhelmed?

And I was like, yes. And I had always flirted with taking something. Has you ever been on them before? Never. First time. Okay. I didn't know. You didn't tell me this.

Well, I had always flirted with the idea because I had a very typical, you know, just, you know, you hear a lot about it in 12 steps. You hear about it from a lot of artists of just like that hole in the soul. I always joke around when I qualify at a 12-step meeting. I'd be like, at 8, 9 years old, I was walking around thinking differently, feeling too deeply, contemplating life in the abyss. And if you had seen me at eight or nine years old, you would have said, get that kid a drink. Because he needs to chill the fuck out.

Yeah. So fast forward, I luckily get sober. I have all these tools that I can use therapy and working out and working on myself and all these like really pragmatic things that I can do. And I did. And I had great results. But I just always had this thing. And it seemed to be coming to a head. I started taking the medicine and I felt good.

And I remember, like, it was like one or two weeks after Shy was born and I said to Paige, I'm like, should I not take this anymore? Like, I can't really tell. And she was like, take it. She's like, it's helping. Yeah. Okay. All right.

If you see it. So I did it for three years. And then I just kind of felt like it was, I wasn't getting the same effect. And, you know, it's not uncommon where sometimes in that three to five year window, something you've taken that's been successful. Sometimes you have to up a dose. Sometimes you have to change the medicine. So I said, let me just try it without. And I did. And I was on a super low dose. So it was safe to get off of it. And I feel okay. I mean, I miss it a little. It was fun. It was fun little friend. Okay. All right. Well, one, with the way that you joke about these meds and have forever, I honestly always thought that you were on it. I had no idea. So, okay. So went on it in 2022, just went off it. Withdrawal of anything is very hard. So the fact that you're doing it is amazing. It's a very light one and I was on the lowest dose.

So it wasn't bad at all. It was just like a little pick me up. Like, yeah, like, okay. Look, I, not the need of this for me, but like I support anybody wanting to take anything. I think that it is, sometimes you need, you need help getting over the hump for things. And nobody can know what's going on inside of somebody else's head. Everybody's head is different. So I hate people that are like judgmental over meds.

So I'm happy that you were on it. I'm happy that you're off it. I hope that you can stay off it if that's what's right. And I hope you go back on it if that's what's right. Like, you know, just gave me all the answers. Yeah, that's it. And then if you want to wait for a while, that's okay. If you take it tomorrow, call me and I say do it.

I hope you do what's right for you. I really do. If you want to go pick it, Pfizer, I'm with you. I'll go buy some plywood. I'm a chameleon. I'm ready. Whatever he need me to do. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Home Chef.

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And I think that's a good thing. I hurt my back bad a couple years ago. And I had to go to, like, physical therapy. and the doctor prescribed me some pain medicine because it was like keeping me up at night, it really stunk. And so I went to this physical therapist, this doctor, and he's amazing, right?

And I'd seen him before for other stuff. And I'm just like, you know when you're just so, like, you know when you get back pain that takes your breath away? Yes, of course. So he's like trying to work me out and do the exercise. And by the way, I see hot doesn't do it. It does nothing.

Continue. It doesn't. It doesn't. And he's trying to work me out. And I'm just like, I can't breathe. It's so painful. And he goes, do doctor give you pain medicine? And I said, yeah, but I don't want to take it.

And he was like, can I make a suggestion? He was like, take it for three days. He's like, because you are so tight and tense that until your body relaxes for a second, you're not going to start healing. He's like, that's my suggestion. And I did, and he was right. And that was kind of my experiment over the last couple of years, is because you live in your own brain.

You live in your mind and you think, well, this is just the way it is. And sometimes having a new view of what it can actually be something else is very interesting. And again, not to pretend to know what you were going through. And I think I've told the story. I had surgery in 2011, Kiari malformation. Did you have brain surgery? I had spine surgery, essentially.

They didn't touch my brain. It was that the top of my spinal cord was protruding on the base of my skull and it was creating spinal fluid. I was fainting for like four months. I had to like withdraw from school for a semester. And it left me, the worst thing that it left me with was a horrific anxiety disorder to the point that if I left bed, I thought I was going to faint. And this happened for like a year that if I stood up, I would be in the shower. Like I'd tilt my head back. And you know like when you tilt your head back sometimes like it's like a little.

little, you get like a little starry or like a little thing, but it's nothing. Sure. Right? That's just like normal life. I was like, till I had back, I'd feel it and I would have a complete panic attack and shut down. And somehow, some way, I told myself, I'm like, look, you've been cleared. You are healthy.

You are not going to die. The worst thing that's going to happen to you is that you're going to wake up on the floor. And somehow, I'm not saying that everybody can do this. Somehow I tricked my brain into not being anxious anymore. And I've used that. for the last 13 years, whenever I get anxious about anything. Because life is anxiety-ridden. If you want to go there, even the smallest thing,

like being on TikTok and doom scrolling, you can become unbelievably nervous and depressed and scared. And the second that you just say to your brain, I say to my brain, Ben, shut the fuck up. This isn't real. Go outside. Put down your phone. Think about something else.

Distract yourself. distract yourself from whatever is going on, I'm at least able to distract myself. And the second that I distract myself for long enough, I've forgotten about it. I'm not saying that it's the same thing with meds, but I do think that the meds sort of take you it takes you out of

that place to your point so that you can see what it's like being out of that place. And then hopefully you've just forgotten all about that place and it's gone. Right. I don't know. But could you imagine if you had to wear a

cutesy little helmet because of your fainting spells. So you just had to wear like one of those soft helmets everywhere you went. Yeah, that would have been cute. So could you imagine if Balenciaga? Yeah. I can't meet the way you're saying that. Balenci.

That Balenciaga. Oh, and it's Mungaro, not Mujaro. No, but I have asked to the, Balenciaga. Balenciaga. What the fuck? I'm sorry I didn't grow up on the Upper East side. Boentiaga. All right.

Deo Drive, Alanguid, man. Let's know. Balenciaga. Man. Never been smacked so hard by all this high-priced items. I'm going to second Avenue deli for a matzo balin siaga soup. A matzabalin, that's hot. Can you imagine, though, a Balenciaga disability helmet?

A man in a Balenciaga osta, balabusta. Right? A Gucci, like a Gucci helmet. Not a Gucci. I almost say, like, am I living in an alternative universe or he doesn't have to say anything? Oh my God. I'm sorry. I love my Gucci hat. Should we get to some stories? Cookie, yeah, yeah. That story it up. I think that would be hot. I do think that would be hot.

We need like something to announce stories like, it's a story time. Benny and Joshi Going over stories It's Benny and Joshi Going over stories And then it's like a ticker Yes Yes

You were in my brain You were in my brain That was it Yeah Penny and Joshi Reading the stories Yeah Or we could just steal it

On the nose We could steal it from NBC Benny and Joshi Reading stories Reading stories Stories. Reading stories. Today on the news, we have Epstein.

Found Dead again. We have Epstein. Man, do we wish his last name was Smith. That would be so much better. Well, did you hear about this Colplay kiss cam? Zero's in on Mortified Tech CEO and alleged HR chief? So for anyone who doesn't know, at this massive Coldplay concert, they did like an audience cam.

And there was this, you know, couple in their 40s or 50s hugging. And they zoom in on them. And the moment they go on the big screen, they immediately freak out and they like hide their faces. And Chris Martin said something to the effect of like, wow, hope you're not having an affair. But are they? Allegedly, maybe. They are. No, they are.

Apparently it's the CEO and the head of the HR, as he said, and they're having an affair. And all that I have to say is if he, like, obviously if you immediately duck out of camera, Josh, people are going to post that. Right. But if they had just like played it. cool. Nobody would ever be like videoing a kiss cam at a cold play concert of putting it online. They played themselves. No?

You're so right, but also hilarious that Coldplay has a kiss camp. Totally. What is this a Mets game? Yeah, it's so dumb. That's so weird. Even though when I see Coldplay concerts on TikTok I'm like, damn, I want to be there.

It's amazing. They're amazing. Wow. I was in like an EDM, just like, phase last night, like an EDM's Doom Scroll and I sent you a bunch of a couple of it. I just I need to feel that energy in my veins.

That's my drug of choice, Josh, EBM. Yeah, I know. A little less so. And what made me think of that as the Sky Sky Full of Stars remix with Coldplay. Chef's Kiss. Chef's Kiss. But those Coldplay concerts, they look unbelievable. Has Coldplay done

the sphere? I don't know. I'm too busy watching clips of the back Street Boys at the Sphere. Are you watching this? I haven't seen, no. What? Amazing. Are they amazing?

You're too young. Olivia, have you? I mean, you're even younger. I haven't seen the Backstreet Boys playing at the sphere, but I'm familiar with them, of course. Oh, my God. It looks unbelievable. Yeah, no, they're not in my, they're not in my algorithm right now.

They're not. I'm dying to go. I'm so jealous. I want to go so bad, James Sto. By the way, go. I can't. Go. Why?

It's a 45-minute flight. Go. I'll get you tickets. I have three children. You'll be back. You'll literally be back that afternoon. Can you imagine me explaining to people like, oh, Josh, you finally got away a little? Yeah, well, the boys were at the sphere.

They'd be like, marry a man, Josh. Just stop the stringy page along. Bring Max. Bring Max. Put on the cans. Bring Max. We love it. We do listen.

We do. We listen. We love that. This episode of the Good Guys. podcast is brought to you by our friends at Applebee's folks. Applebee's was it when I was growing up. I am telling you, we would head to our local mall, find that gorgeous Applebee's, and just get such a beautiful feast. We're talking the spinach artichoke tip. I love the boneless wings. I would go, picture this. It's the perfect, perfect suburban evening. You hop into your, I don't know, you hop into your pickup truck.

You pick up a couple of friends. You head to the local mall. You're seeing a good. gorgeous movie. Okay, but before you stop at the bees, because the bees is it. The bees is a scene. You're getting a beautiful appetizer. You're getting two entrees. And what? They're only charging you $25 because right now Applebee's iconic two for 25 deal is back featuring their new chicken parmesan fettuccini and new big bang and burger. God, what a deal that is. Two entrees, one half, $25. You absolutely can't beat that. And you also can't beat the fact that. that Applebees is just a family-friendly, all-American establishment. I love it.

Me and Claudia will go. I'm so excited to bring Ruby. You go there. And it's just, it's nostalgic. It's the bees. You want to make memories at the bees. I have such fond memories of the bees when I was growing up. I, for whatever reason, I loved a New Jersey bees.

They just hit better. That East Coast Jersey bees hit good. And I'm telling you, I can't wait to do it with my kids. Me and Claudia love the bees. We go all the time. We're absolute. It beeshead? Is that a thing? Bees Wax? I wonder what the bees people call each other, but we absolutely love the bees. And Applebee's is also the perfect one-stop shop to catch a game. I don't know, you want to watch a baseball game, you want to watch a football game.

You're going there. You want some bruskeys, but you also want some delicious food at a great price. You can enjoy a great meal, a great meal at Applebee's. And today, you can take advantage of their iconic two-for-25 deal because it is back. That is two entrees, one appetizer, featuring their new chicken parm, fettuccini, and new big bang and burger. Two entrees and one appetizer for $25. In this economy, in this economy, you're waddy and nuts for not going and getting that. Also, I'm telling you, I didn't know this, so I'm sure that you didn't know this either. If you don't have time to make it to the bees, you can order the bees in. I ordered in the bees.

Oh, my God, it was just as delicious. And I got to take advantage of the deal when I ordered in. It was absolutely fantastic. But if you have the time, you go to the bees, you go to the mall, you go to the frills, you go to the re-standing one. You get that big, gorgeous soda, gorgeous, free refills, unbelievable. You then go into, I would personally go into a spinach artichoke dip, that's just an iconic, iconic, iconic appetizer. And then maybe you get a side of mac and cheese, you're getting the chicken parm, fettuccini, you're getting a gorgeous big bang and burger, and you're saying, how easy is that?

I can't believe I haven't been to Applebee sooner. It is absolutely amazing. You got to go. Two for 25 dealers back, baby, featuring their new chicken parm fatichini and the new big bangin burger while supplies last, two entrees, one appetizer, $25 in this economy? What are you nuts? You gotta go? Well, did you know Brianna Chicken Fry a surprising reaction to Zach Brian revealing her text? The BFF's co-host laughed and called her ex-boyfriend effing stupid on the latest podcast episode for sharing screenshots of her past texts earlier this week?

He honestly verified everything that I've said, the Barstall Sports personality, who worried Brian had posted her nude photos. said on Wednesday, I don't know what he was trying to do by that. I guess, yeah, the message Brian uploaded and deleted via Instagram stories on Monday, notably included a post-breakup text from Brianna after he allegedly fled the state instead of going to rehab. The 26-year-old claimed that the country singer berated her

and sent awful stuff ahead of her lengthy response. I've only met one of them, and Brianna Chicken Fry is lovely, and it seems like she was in a terribly, toxic relationship. I don't know Zach Bryan, but it has been mentioned by many a woman that he was an incredibly toxic partner. So I have to decide with the chicken, the chick. We love that chicken fry. She is really fab, isn't she? She's cool. She's nice. She's funny. She's great. She's great. And that's Zach Brian, he hasn't invited me to a concert. I have no allegiance. Yana, he was too busy. Oh, you have Jake Shane on? Why? What do I mean? I mean, we love Jake Shane,

But this is Benny and Joshy. Do you understand the pipes that we have? I don't know any of your songs, but if I did, I could sing along. Josh has an amazing voice. I know your songs, and I'm not even a fan. I drove home for a funeral. It's something like that shit. I hit a chicken crossing the road.

I told him go to the other side before you get bored. Yeah, it's something like that, right? Everything changed and it feels kind of weird. You know? I went off my anthem. I'm not taking a little butrine anymore and I broke up with

Brianna chicken fucking fry but yeah that's basically right I know the music I think so and somehow he feels MetLife it's crazy yeah who else feels Matlife

Josh I don't know if I can really like Claudia said that she'd go with me she said that she'd go August 10th August 10th of MetLife better than Meatloff August 10th of Matt Life

life. The headliner is the Jonas Brothers. I can really care less. Okay. You know who's opening for the Jonas Brothers August 10th at MetLife. I know. You know, Olivia. Boys like girls and all American rejects. What's true? What songs do they have? Gives you help. Josh. Josh. And it gives you out and it gives you help. Is that one? Yeah. Out there, what is wrong. We move along. I don't know. You don't move along.

You don't move along. You know, okay. Is this when you grow up above 65th Street in New York City, is this how you become a punk rock lover? I actually think that this is what happens when you go to summer camp. I think this is Jewish summer camp. What music were you listening to in the city when you were, 17. That.

I think that, that, I loved it. And like, but also then it was like, that was like the, like R&B was amazing. And like pop was amazing.

Like, I listened to a ton of Tio Cruz. Like, ooh, and like, and a ton of ACON. And a ton of like, that was like,

smack that. It was like my shit. Okay, you said gives me hell. I'll keep you my dirty little secret. You know that song. You don't move along. Swing, swing, swing.

And a dable. turn. I don't know, though. I don't. I'll be honest. Your subtle tears, they strangle me. I can explain myself at all. No, it ends tonight. Okay. All right. So you're not a fan. But boys like girls, Josh, I think. I'm guessing you were into Sum 41, good Charlotte. I'm a masher. I'm a masher. I would go to Sun 41 concerts and I'd run in a circle. is okay are these you just got yourself a mosher as though you're listening to like

I'm a mosher but okay but like Pantera's moshing music like I you were you were moshing 110 pound kids I was I was moshing I was definitely afraid

like once I went with my friend he got his nose broken so like I would keep my distance from the mosh okay we like I like a nice mashed potato no

But yeah, no, some 41. That was really, that was it. Let's just see. Yeah. Into deep. Oh, my God. Into deep. Still, so am I still waiting for this world to stop hating.

Can't find a. So good. And you love this so good. Love, love. But pieces is the best song. What is that? One second. Pieces.

Pieces. Don't play it. We're going to get a copyright strike. Sorry. I just need to see it. I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it. And then I get a razor and I just like pretend to cut myself, but I never would. You know, it's just like a vibe.

Oh my God. It's a vibe. Wow, self-mutilation. Sick. Then at 17 sounds like me at 13. I love pop punk. Wow. Skateboarding.

Thank you. Yeah. Wow. And like, but you're too young. Like, because it's, it's, I'm young for it, but like, Tribe Call Quest, Far Side. like De La Sol Biggie Pock that just missed you. Like, it was like cool. Nause.

You listen to Biggie. It was cool to say that you listen to Nause. It was cool to say the Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with. It was more like a, it was more of like a culture stamp. No, I didn't listen to the music. But like, Wutang Klan was like, yeah, we all wore the t-shirts. Like I had a Wu-Tang Clan T-shirt because it was cool. Like, sure.

There was no 13-year-old Jew in Summer Camp that didn't have Wutane Klan. Klan-T shirt. Not one. We loved it. It was just cool. Yeah, it's telling, right? Because, like, there's no, it's why we're not a monolith, right? Because, like, I think there are certain Jewish kids that grew up my age, your age, in the city where hip-hop culture defined their personality. They were like, it's like Andrew Schultz, if he was Jewish. But, like, it's just, you know what I mean? It's, yeah. And then there's not. And then there's, people who listen to Sum 41 and they're proud of that.

No, I'm kidding. No, seriously, Jews, I guess that this isn't like a crazy thing. We love music. And I don't know many Jews that don't love a wide variety of genres. We're a musical people. They're a musical.

I go far and wide with genres. I like all genres. I think music is impressive and it makes you feel something and I love a concert. Nothing better. Yeah, I love it too. Should we get to SpeakPipe? We should. We should listen to Othello Moron.

If you want to ask us a question, get some advice. Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys. Keep it brief. Bravity is also key. Okay, this message is from Anonymous. Hey, it's earlier. I'm thinking about divorce to my wife. Hear me out. First, it's her boss. then it's her personal trainer then it's my best friend

and yeah it keeps on happening and I don't know what to do I just love sucking cock What the hell What's that? It's got a good joke That was good

I got to get it to him I had to play it Okay this one's from Confuge Chicago girl I was ready to give advice too. I'm like, I'm a big fan of y'all. And Jackson Claude.

I have a What Are You Nuts moment. I need your advice on. My boyfriend of three years and I have been living together in Chicago. His sister, who's a bit older, is getting married in San Francisco coming up. She says it's a small wedding, only 99 people,

so she doesn't have much space for plus ones and is leaving it to only couples who are married. So this means that I won't be attended. my boyfriend's sister's wedding? Is this a Woody and Nuts moment? Should I talk to my boyfriend? Should I talk to the sister? I don't really know what to do.

I feel uncomfortable. Thanks. Appreciate any advice you have. How long did she say they were together? Three years. That's married. That's married. I think I understand not wanting to include somebody that will then be in pictures that will then

become obsolete. I get that. But three years. There's boyfriend, sister. Like, they're so close. Like, I think it's nuts to not include her. You? I think you're 100% right.

But I think the only way to win in this situation is to be so aggressively deferential to your sister-in-law. You only win. Because you will be proven 100% to be the winner and the right person in this over time. if it doesn't work out with you and your boyfriend, she will be proven to be the right person. Yeah.

By the way, if you want to be right, you've got to marry him. Yeah. Otherwise, you're wrong. And maybe you guys should elope a week after the wedding and be like, it would have been so nice. Honestly, if you really want to go that badly, get pregnant. They're not going to turn you away if you're pregnant.

That's amazing. Yeah, I mean, but wouldn't you guys agree, like, by her being ultra deferential to what is clearly not a correct move by her sister-in-law, I think, is the way that she wins, because it only looks bad for the sister-in-law, even though her gripe is right. Agreed. Right? Yeah, agreed, too.

And you can't mess with a lady in her wedding, like, it is what it is. Okay, next one from Emily. Hey, Josh and Ben, been a moron since day one. I'll get straight to the point. I have a mother-in-law, love her very much. She's super awesome. She's just a little bit overbearing. We had our daughter about two years ago.

Found out we were pregnant with her a couple weeks after we got engaged. So we've been holding off the wedding. But now it's here in about a month or so. And she just asked me the other day. Well, she didn't ask me. She just told me she was going to give a speech at our wedding. And my brother is giving a speech. His brother is giving a speech.

And then I have a maid of honor and a matron of honor. So they're both giving a speech. And then my dad is giving a speech because that's traditional, whatever. But she's saying she has to. And I just want to know your opinion. Like, would you just let her do it? Would you not let her do it? She's going to go on and on and on forever.

I'm a little bit worried that it's going to be like a three-minute speech. And we already have five people giving a speech. What's the sixth? Five's a lot. Like, and you mentioned a lot of family members. Before you got to the end, I was going to say that it's, and I'm going to, always of this opinion. It is your husband's job to manage this mom.

Like, that's just the way that it works. Whenever I hear that wife is an overbearing mother-in-law, I just know that there is, like, sorry, like a really, really weak husband. Because the husband, it's the husband's mother. They have a special bond enough that he could easily take this off your plate, sit her down, talk to her. if it was really important that she didn't speak.

But you just mentioned a lot of people that are speaking, and it's not like she's a stranger, she's your husband's mom. And if your dad is speaking, I think your husband's mom should be entitled to speak. Do I like that she, like, demanded it? No, but you probably should have asked. I think it's, I think they consider you already have five,

it's already going to be too long-witted and everybody's going to hate you and it's going to ruin the party. Two speeches max. Okay, but you're at five. So what's a sixth? What do you think? Yeah, I agree with you. And I think you've actually,

you will, an opportunity has revealed itself because clearly with these five, you don't have a time limit yet, set. But now that you have six and you say, listen, we wanted to honor all of you. You put it on them. We would never think to not allow you

to have a speech. Messiah, mother, we love you. Brother, schmuck. asshole, matri. Mate of honor, usher, best man, fuck you. This is what you do. You go, listen, because we have now six people, you each have 60 seconds, 60 to 90 seconds, right?

So you do 60, you're out at six minutes, maybe like seven and a half minutes with a little clapping break toast in between. 90 seconds, it's going to be a little bit over 10 minutes. Beautiful. Like, if you give everyone hard limits and say, listen, guys, this isn't a suggestion. Respectfully, you have 90 seconds.

So around 75, start wrapping it up. Beautiful, because they can't get mad of you. That I completely agree and make sure you group them. Do not do two in the beginning, two in the middle, two in the end. Don't do it. Speeches can ruin a party. Right. They can also make a party.

They can make a party. They can be great and they can be funny. only you know you mentioned that your mother-in-law goes on and on, she'll ruin it. So put it all at once so that people can, only the music is cut once. If the music keeps getting cut, party's over. My friend at their wedding, the groom's brother wasn't able to be there because his wife had just given birth like the day before and they couldn't fly. So he recorded this beautiful toast, just an audio file to be played during the toast for his brother. It gives this lovely little toast, really sweet and simple.

And he goes, and you know, bro, I love you. And I just, I didn't know how to show it. So I actually wrote you a little song. I want to write you something. And so, and you hear his guitar tuning up. And everyone's like, because I guess he does play music. And he is a good singer. And everyone goes like, oh, my God.

What a song? Oh, my God. And about two seconds goes by and he goes, Nah, that'd be crazy. That's so good. I've actually been to a wedding where the father wrote a song for his son and he fully sang it. And this was,

whoof. Jacob Zittler, you're my... You're my... You're my it, Tata, la. I watched you. one to two three to four my little

tatilla my manchella the one that I adore you have a little bit of an instinct twang

it's like because I'm going for Melania Melania one and you were two so good my tatila

My tater, Tata, Tata, Tala. Oh, my God. How are we doing on time, Olivia? Oh, perfect. Let's wrap this thing up. You have a Wadiyanauts? Yes. Our Wittier Nets moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and tall,

whatever, stick it in your craw. I went to my cardiologist the other day. Great time. Love him. I read my clinical notes after because I get it on my phone, and it said a well-nourished 38-year-old. The fuck! What are you nuts?

Couldn't you just write nourished? Why well-nourished? What are you nuts? Leave our boy alone. He's looking great, okay? Leave our boy alone. My what-y-n-nuts is... I was at Carvel, Josh.

There are a lot of Carvels in the Hamptons. I think they're the last Carvels in the world, and they are absolutely delicious. You get a big, beautiful cake. You get a soft serve, whatever. I'm waiting in the line. I get to the front of the line. I order a couple of things.

There's a house full of people, right? Josh, I'm not just getting for myself. Of course. And yeah, the line's slow. It is what it is. This, this Roy enraged. Like, this guy just left the gym. He's in, like, a tank top.

He's like, suit. Like, he clearly just did drugs. Like, he's, I'm ordering. I ordered an ice cream. Then she comes back. I order something else. And he looks at me. And he says, you know, it'll all be melted by the time you get home.

What are you in nuts? Can you shut the fuck up? Okay. Can you just shut the fuck up? It's not going to be melted by the time you get home. You've no idea how far I live from McCarbell. Can you mind your own fucking fucking fucking roydhead booser jerk? Okay?

I don't stand and watch you order your ice cream. You know, I'll be mad to the time you at home. You know, you're a fucking cop-sucking boozer. Shut the fuck up, Roydhead. Put some sleeves on your shirt, you fuck. Yeah. And share the roids. Lord knows I need some.

And you know what else I need folks? I need five stars. this episode. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Listen to us wherever we get your podcast. Watch us on YouTube. Share our clips, Instagram, and TikTok, folks. Don't forget about the talk. Mondays and Thursdays, we will see you up. Pachu! Next time. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.