Good Guys - Howie Mandel: Standup, Judging Our Impressions, & Interviewing Tom Sandoval

Episode Date: March 11, 2024

The one and only Howie Mandel is here! In this episode, we dive into the hilarious and insightful world of celebrity chaos with Howie's trademark wit and candor. From pandemic podcasts to toilet paper troubles, no topic is off-limits as Howie shares his thoughts on everything from mental health to hygiene habits. With celebrity impressions galore, addressing Howie's interview with Tom Sandoval and answering your speakpipes, you're going to love this beautiful gorgeous episode. 5 stars!!! If not, what are ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Get 50% off your first month on ANY crate line at kiwico.com code GOODGUYS Carawayhome.com/goodguys or code GOODGUYS at checkout for 10% off your first purchase Cerebral.com/podcast code goodguys for 15% off your first month Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck and I'm Ben Saffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Mazel morons. Our fandom, Howie, we have the great comedian, brilliant entertainer, just timeless icon, Howie Mandel on the show.

Our fandom is called The Morons. The Morons. I love it. That's endearing. I think so. It is. We're all morons. And you know what?

We should come up with a name for, the people on, you did my podcast, the people on my podcast. And that works for you, the morons, they're happy with that? They love it. So why don't you just lean into it? Mine will be the fucking idiots. Yes. That's what I'm doing.

And I hope all the fucking idiots are watching this and also subscribing to my podcast. I think that's a great idea because, again, most of us have grown up with at least one parent who was incredibly damaging and it elicits a lot of childhood feelings. And that's what I'm all about family. Yes, you are. I really am. You really are. I mean, Ben and I were lucky enough to just be on your podcast and that you host with

your lovely daughter and your son is producing it. I mean, it's a real family affair here. It is. It is. Sententional? Godfather's style? Are they the only people you can trust? No.

They're the only people that are willing to hire me to do something like this. My son, Alex, who you know, has a very successful digital company. He built the studio and he has a company. company and he works with a lot of influencers like you have, you know, but he works with the Logan Paul and all these other people and he just said come in and do a podcast. So with, which I started with doing with my daughter just during COVID because it was the only way she would communicate with me. It wasn't a podcast. It was just us sitting on the phone talking to other people, doing pranks and having fun. And then my wife said, what is this for? And I said, for nothing. And she said

record it and then Alex said I have equipment to record it so why don't you come in and do it. As a historically sort of famous germ averse person let's say let's not let's not title it right you can OCD I'm I'm very open about my mental health I wasn't I come from a generation where you know mental health has a stigma attached to it mental illness or mental problems have a stigma and I've learned really late in life that not only Does it help me first and foremost to be open and talk about it and identify it and not shy away from it? But I've been told that other people are comforted in hearing other people talk about it. And you've done that too.

I certainly have tried. And so you talk about COVID. Was that in a weird way, a dream scenario for someone with your ism? Or was it the worst thing ever? Worst thing ever. Because with however I lived and I do for lack of a better analysis. analogy, like the most fearful person in the midst of this world pandemic, how they felt is how I live each and every day. But if there was any comfort besides the therapy and the medication and whatever I'm on,

everybody around me in regular life was saying, don't worry. You know, nobody is sick here. You're not going to catch it. Or we're not going to leave. You don't have to worry. This is all clean. When the whole world joins in your nightmare, there was no respite from the nightmare that I have going on in my own head.

So it wasn't comforting. Ah. It wasn't, you know, it was what people were trying to assure me throughout my whole life as just being something in my own head and something that I had to cope with turned into a reality. The monster that I was afraid of came to life. Because me being so selfish and loving self-righteousness, I'd be like, it took me 60 plus years to prove to all you idiots that I was right. You're all running around with your germs.

But I was right. You should all be separated. I did sing my favorite song throughout the pandemic was Nen, you, I told you. So I had a little bit of that, but I didn't take comfort in living in a pandemic.

You know, I didn't take comfort. It's just because the point is, whatever your coping skills to get through your day, and I don't think there's anybody, alive that doesn't need a coping skill at some point for whatever you're dealing with. It doesn't have to, I think everything is connected to mental health, everything, your productivity, your relationships, your work, your, just your mood, you know, and becoming a parent.

And there is, you have to figure out ways to make this work for you. So it just became harder. Whatever my coping skill was, mine is usually distraction, you know, staying really. busy and or not thinking about it in the moment, doing something else, standing in front of an audience, trying to be funny, trying to be witty in the moment, trying to procure work, making some content or whatever. When the world shut down, it just gave me more time to worry. You know, I couldn't, I was working, we were all working less, not going places, not interacting, no distraction. So it was dark. Will you tell the story and you've told this before of how

Purel turned on you? Well, listen, Purole is great. I was one of the early adopters of Purel. But the truth of the matter is that I sanitized, over sanitized so much that bacteria, what I've learned, we want to make this a science experiment. Please. You know, bacteria is, you know, we as living creatures are an ecosystem of good and bad bacteria. We fight each other and that's what keeps us alive. When I killed all the bacteria on my hand by constantly soaking in sanitizers and alcohol and bleach, I had no immune system. I killed my immune. That's how you build an immune system by being around germs. So when I touched a door, I would like within days break out in a wart. I would have a virus. I would have viruses all over me because I killed. You know, I was just listening to somebody on,

I don't know what I listened to that this is part of the content, but I was, I was, I was listening to somebody on the radio talking about like people shouldn't use wet naps for ass wipes. Have you heard this? That's crazy. I love me a dude wipe. I'm big wipes guy. I do that all the time. Well, they said that you could cause yourself.

You can end up causing yourself an infection because what you're doing is you're killing the bad bacteria. It's good to do shit out. Like if you have one of those total toilets that, you know, spray it out and then wipe it or wipe it with. But as soon as you introduce like alcohol or blue. leech or any of these other things that are bacteria killers in there, in that area, you throw off the balance of whatever that ecosystem is.

I want to clarify, I guess I said something. I certainly don't use lysol wipes to wipe my ass. Why do you feel that that was necessary? Out of everything that you say, why is that something that you think maintains the public reputation? I needed to clarify, because that's like spraying. Windex on piece of toilet paper and wiping your ass. And that is completely nuts.

Out of the question. Wasn't that brought up as one of the possible cures for COVID, Windex? I think it was. That all stemmed from my big fat Greek wedding when the grandpa used to use Windex to get rid of the war. I just love that when you're going and shopping for toilet paper, you're doing it at Lowe's or Home Depot. That's where you're finding your toiletry essentials.

That was another thing when the pandemic hits. I don't know why it wasn't a stomach virus where everybody was just shitting themselves. Yet there was a run on, as soon as COVID, there was a run on toilet paper. Right. Why? Because they want to be ready. They were afraid to leave the house. They were, they were afraid to run out of toilet paper.

Who knows the next time they could leave the house. But more than anything else, like more than any provisions, canned goods, water. Like toilet paper was the first thought that anybody had. Like, I don't really understand that. You know, we may. It was big toilet paper. They put out the first mass hysteria. Yes, it was Charming.

You're blaming it on Charmin. Listen, it's a podcast. You know, it's provocative. It is. Right? So it was Charmin. Yeah, maybe Braun. Maybe they only do paper towels.

You wipe your ass with Braun? Sometimes. Listen, don't judge my love life. That's your love life? Don't judge the way I have a nice time with myself. Do you put a brawny man in your ass? Some people like two-ply. I like ten-ply.

Wow. Do you fold or scrunch? Are we talking about just my mom's going to hate this section? Josh, there's only one right answer. Fold. Please don't tell me you scrunch. I am a predominantly wipes guy and then I just, and I do a quick drying swipe. But I think if you don't use wipes, you're gross.

Like if you're only using dry paper back there, I mean, how are you really cleaning? But you can afford to have like one of those toto toilets. Yes. In theory, I hear you. Your logic is sound. And here you hear me? In headphones, you hear me. In headphones.

In all the, yes, in all the auditory ways. But what I'm saying is so, but they're saying that you can cause a problem with wipes. You can. All right. What is your wipes of choice? Are they a brand that, uh, you wipes? What? They're called dude wipes.

Dude wipes? You never heard of them? No. Oh, it's gorgeous. Beautiful. Are they a sponsor of your podcast? No, they should be. Dude wipes?

Never heard of this? No. You've been around town. You're a man about town. And it's just for dudes. It's not the ladies can't use this? I think it's a good name, but ladies are welcome. To use dude wipes or to wipe your ass?

No. They are welcome to use dude wipes. It's just a fun, flushable wipe with a nice sometimes mentholated little, you know, afterthought there. And it just makes you feel fresh and clean. Was that an ad read or are we still talking? No, we're still talking. Josh tends to do that, though. It's like a zin for your ass.

But I just never heard those words. It was very poetic. A fun, flushable wife. You know what I look for in life? You know what I want more than anything? For everyone. What, Howie? A fun, flushable wife.

I'm a child actor. All I know is how to talk is like a commercial. Want another one, boss? Faster or louder? A fun, flushable wipe. So sad. I love that your shirt matches the optical illusion behind you. The shirt is an optical illusion.

You look like they waved you at the Daytona 500. I look like a flag. I do. You know what this is, actually? And I'm not getting paid by them to tell you. This is Teddy Fresh. You listen to Ethan Klein is a friend of mine. Yeah.

You know he is? H3, yeah. Yeah. So this is his merchandise. Cool. Yeah. I like it. I like it too.

That's why I wear it. I like it too. Can I have a good guys merch shirt? You'd love to. We have one run and it's good, right Ben? Oh yeah. And we have another one coming. We should send him the new stuff.

No. You mean the old stuff that nobody's wearing anymore. Vintage. No, they're still wearing it. It was a limited drop. Does it say I'm a moron on it? That's coming. That's coming.

The next one, which honestly, if there's ever a time, it's now, our next drop is going to say, What are you nuts on it? Which is a segment that we have, Howie, that the morons absolutely love. Yeah, what are you nuts? We'll tell you now so you can prepare, you'll have plenty of time. But our What Do You Nuts segment of the week is gripes with people, places, and things. Anything that is currently grinding your gears, it can be big, it can be small. Then you would say, what are you nuts?

Exactly. I get it now. I get it. We can come back to it or if you're writing now, we can go into it. No, I didn't know what it was. Like you'd have a section where you just drop your pants, you look at your testicles, and you ask them, what are you nuts? Right.

And they don't answer. That would work as well. That would work as well. Wow. Caraway? Carraway? I'm sorry, are you an adult? Do you have operating pots and pans that are actually like,

they work and the handle's not broken. They don't have like eight years of like spaghetti baked into them. They're gross. Like you're ashamed. You hide them when people come over. Someone's like, oh, I love to heat up. You're like, no, no, you can't use. I don't have any.

I don't cook, so I don't have pots and pans. You have them. They're just gross. But the truth is, with Caraway, you're going to have gorgeous, beautiful cookware that's, it's going to change everything for you. I'm telling you, it will make cooking fun. Look, a spring is coming, and I love to cook and make, like, really yummy sort of, you know, there's so much good produce in the spring.

The winter frost is over, and having great cookware makes you want to cook. You've got so many collections to explore. So Caraway can really work with every kind of chef. And they have fun twists on sort of classic just cookware, right? Like they've just updated it for the things that we need today. Plus, it's non-toxic kitchenware that's got a chemical-free ceramic coating so food can be prepared with peace of mind that no hard-to-pronounce chemicals are going to leach into your healthy ingredients.

So visit Carraway Home. dot com slash good guys to take advantage of this limited time offer for 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners. So visit carewayhome.com slash good guys or use code good guys to check out. Careway, non-toxic cookware made modern. Did you know that there is now that people are getting Botox in their sack to kind of lessen the wrinkles? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. I do it naturally. Not with Botox. I'm doing Kegel exercises. Right now? I am. And I do them constantly because summer is just around the corner. I know it's February or March,

but it's what I'm trying to do is I do it. I do three sets a day. And by the summer, I assure you I'm going to have a six sack. I like that. It's fun. Hey, Howie. Yeah.

Hey, hey. Recently, you had. There's nobody else on your. podcast. You don't have to point me out. Is this question for me? Mr. Mendel, you recently had the great Dana White, CEO of UFC on your podcast, and it was a viral clip because you were saying all these laudatory, beautiful things about him. You gave him an incredible introduction. And he basically said, I'm so tired of doing podcasts and walked out. Was that real? I was tired of answering that fucking question.

How many? I want to thank you guys for the shortest episode ever of the Good Guys podcast with Mr. Howie Mendo. Listen to his podcast where we sat for an entire hour and a half. But I just did was real. I don't want to cause more wave than has already been caused. So I'm going to plead the fifth on that. I respect everybody. That seems rare for you to plead the feth.

I just saw that in a movie once. I don't really even know what that means. You're like, I'm Canadian. I don't know the American justice system. And nobody ever pleads like the fourth or the third or the 14th. What's pleading the third amendment? First is freedom of speech. Second is freedom to bear arms.

I think third is housing military. You can't have people in the military in your house? You can't. People can't take over your home and turn it into a military installation. But I don't know that's fair. Because my granddaughter selling Girl Scout cookies and her old. troop. It was over at my house the other day and I'm not allowed to, uh, well, I played the third. Right. You know how much the Girl Scouts make a year in cookie sales? Yes. Oh, you wanted that?

I just thought you were asking if I knew. I lied. A cool billion. Uh, not 900 million in cookies. Nuts. What a freaking scheme. Are you kidding me? Yeah. They make a million in cookies. Billion. They make a billion. A billion. They make a billion dollars a year in cookies. It's the biggest scheme of all time. Number one. Well, then I'm going to become a Girl Scout. That's where the money is. What am I doing in this fucking thing? Why am I doing when I could be selling cookies?

It's a really good business. Girl Scouting? Well, the selling the cookies, I mean, these are not high-end. It's a really insane business. It's an insane business. They get these kids to work for free labor from 11-year-olds to feed their billion-dollar business. It's nuts. Yeah.

I mean, you really, when you think about it, the Girl Scouts. are in a business where they make a billion dollars. They sell cookies. They sell treats and cookies for a billion dollars. And as a Boy Scout, I just sat in my house alone in my shorts and knee socks tying knots. It's not a good business. Well, you know what the Boy Scouts sell?

Notts. Popcorn. No, they don't. Yeah, they have popcorn. No, they don't. It's not great. Have you ever had a guy knocking? No, I've never had Boy Scout popcorn.

I've never heard of that. Where do you make that up? You're making that up. Anybody back there? Anybody in the booth? Have you ever bought popcorn from a Boy Scout? No, nobody did. You got fucked over.

Josh. A little boy in a uniform. Really? Yeah, there's nobody. This is one guy. I'm buying Costco popcorn from some kid named Billy with a sash? Billy with a sash. Sash.

Who's selling Josh. All right. I don't think it's happened. I don't think it's a troop thing. I don't think it's countrywide. I don't think it's a thing. All right. It's so Boy Scout Popcorn's fake news.

It's not even news. It's just wrong. Have you kept in touch with Megan Markle at all? In touch. You mean by like text or email or phone calls or just being in person? Are you guys friendly? Like I think that that's the. When you say friendly, like is it something where we exchange even through a third person like

pleasantries or things like that? FaceTime Zoom. Edible arrangement. No. Okay. No. You know what? To be honest, when she became the Duchess or whatever, I don't know what it, is he a Duchess?

I formally. Yeah. To me, a Duchess was somebody who went on a date with that would split the bill with you. Right. Let's go Dutch. Oh, it's Dutch. Not Duchess. Right.

Let's go, Duchess. I always said Duchess. I didn't know what it was. But anyway, the point that I'm making is when I heard that she was on deal or no deal, I didn't remember her. Okay. So you guys didn't spend a lot of time together. No, I have a picture of her in my office. Oh. Well, I have a picture. She's one of many of the girls standing behind me on deal or no deal. But I didn't remember a lot of them. You know, Chrissy Teigen was also a deal or no deal model. No way. I did not know that. I'm trying, well, there you go. There's a breaking, there's a breaking

piece of news. We should maybe do a reunion. Which is the odd numbers. Like not all 26. Or just the prime numbers. You know, there is a new deal or no deal. There is? Yeah. As this airs, it's already aired. She's getting a little scratch from that, no? Yeah. I'm the executive producer.

Fuck, yeah, you are. Yeah, but I'm not the host. Well, what, you got two hosts right here. Me and Ben, you didn't. We're so in and I just have to say, unbelievable. Here's what it was. Deal or no deal is the best. Can we do, can we audition for you and just do the catchphrase and see what you think?

Go ahead. Okay. Ben, you want to go first for me. You go first. Deal or no deal. Okay, let me try. That was decent. That was really good.

Go ahead. Deal or no deal? Gary. One of you was much better than the other, and I don't want to. I got it. I got it. I got it. Let me try again.

Deal or no deal. Is that better? Or no deal. It's like the Cookie Monster's cousin with a cracked voice. I can do Elmo. It's the host. I do Elmo for my son. Go ahead.

La la la la. I have to find it first. I said to find a way in. Hey, I'm not there. Okay. Deal or not there? That's pretty good. It's pretty good.

You know, I was the voice of, did you ever watch Muppet Babies? Sure. I was Skeeter, Animal, and Bunsen Honeydew. No way. Classic. I wouldn't lie. Did you know, do you ever meet Jim Henson? Yeah, yeah.

What was he like? Amazing. Genius. A genius. Have you ever gone to the Fallon show or before that Conan or Letterman at 30 Rock? Sure. And if you've gone around the corner. in that hallway when you wait in the dressing rooms from the original,

I think it was like the Jack Parr show or the original Tonight Show. When Jim Henson was virtually an unknown puppeteer, there's a place there where he painted all those characters on a pipe while he was waiting to go on. And they have a plaque there and he did all the art. And it's, yeah, you should be able to, somebody should be able to pull that up and give you a picture of it. Does anybody have a picture of the pipe that is at 30 Rock,

that Jim Henson did, but I got to meet him and I did the voices, and that was, it was fun. I was, Skeeter. Skeeter's the same voice as, uh, so this is a Skeeter, which is the same voice I used for Bobby, which is the same voice I used for Gizmo and Gremlin's. I'm Gizmo from Gremlin's. Oh, you're almost throwing your voice. Yeah, but it's not my voice. You know, I always tell people, like, I'm not talking, falsetta, you know, I'm not, that's not my voice. So what I'm doing is it's the same thing when you blow up a balloon. You blow up a balloon and then you take the nipple and you squeeze it and the air goes,

so I just closed my throat and I'm pushing air out and that's just a vibration. And if I loosen it, that was Bunsen Honeydew. If I loosen it, then if you don't listen to me, I'll make your sister disappear. And then if I loosen it even more, it was animal. Oh, bye, bye. That's very impressive. Thank you. Wow. Can you believe that, Ben? I'll be here all episodes. No, I can't. Josh is now the time I do Mickey Mouse for the third time in four episodes. I think we'd be remiss if you did it. You know what? Oh, I was going to say he needs to do it louder because I couldn't hear him.

Miska, Mooseka, Mickey Mouse. Come on. Over under four out of ten. No, let me just say something. The, more than the actual voice, what I found impressive was the amount of time of preparation between asking whether you should do it and getting it. don't know what, what are you changing? What are you adjusting that gets you, like you go, can I do Mickey Mouse?

And then you go, Mishka. I don't know what you're doing. To me, that's like, that was good too. Yeah, to me it was like in the old days, and that's where I'm from, impressionists used to say, and this is, you know, this is an impression of so-and-so, and it goes something like this. And then they used to turn around. Right.

And then turn back. Like, what is that? What are you doing? Well, Jim Carrey used to do that. But then he would, like, tossle his hair and he put on Nicholson's face. But he did something. Right.

Most people didn't. Fair. You know what I mean? Like, if you're turning around to do something, so it's a reveal, it's okay. But if you go, I'm going to do Mickey Mouse. He even moved away from the mic. Even, like, he didn't want to, what he has to prepare, he has to do it off mic.

So you at home don't get. a sense of this is how it's done and steal the thunder. You don't want, you don't want anybody know you're like a magician. I don't want anybody knowing how I did Mickey. It's like a magician. This is where I retired Mickey. Yeah. This is I'm going to do Mickey Mouse. I'm going to do Mickey Mouse. Misha. Cerebral is here to help you achieve your mental wellness goals with professional therapy and medication management support. A hundred percent online. You'll experience the all new cerebral way, an innovative approach to mental wellness designed around you. You get a personalized treatment plan from a

therapist, prescriber or both in a safe and judgment for you space. Secret time, I need both. I like a little prescriber. I like a therapist. And in all honesty in 2024, like, I don't know, I'm working on being the best version of myself. You know what I mean? And if you're looking to improve your mental health journey, I'm just a big advocate for talking to someone. You know, I've done it throughout my life and now knowing that with my busy schedule and with kids that I can just go on Zoom and I can do it online instead of having to worry about a commute to an office and whatnot. It's it's so great to know that wherever I am I'm able to check in and whether you want to cope with stress, relieve anxiety, manage depression, cerebral will help you to find a clinician

who can work with you and is the right person and maybe you click right away, maybe not, but they have such a great network of people and all the clinicians are vetted, credentialed, and you don't have to worry about finding the right provider or scheduling appointments because cerebral brings it all to you whenever and wherever you need it. So to get started on your path towards better mental health, Cerebral is giving our listeners 15% off their first month of online therapy,

medication, or both. Get started at Cerebral.com slash podcast and use code good guys. That's C-E-R-E-B-R-A-L.com slash podcast and use code good guys to get 15% off your first month. Make 20-24 your best year yet. Offer only valid on monthly plans. Other exclusions may apply C-Site for details. I appreciate that you liked my Elmo because my wife and God bless her. My wife's Irish Catholic.

I'm obviously a hot-blooded Jew. I always say her love language is silence. And she says it sucks. Your impression of Elmo sucks. Really? Look at the joy. My kid's face. She goes, not good.

Not good. Maybe she's... She's critical of you. She is. Do you think is that what makes it work? Is that because you want to, you spend your life trying to please her or getting her approval? Is that the chemistry in your relationship? Part of it.

Certainly. Please like what I'm doing. Like me. No, I do it. My wife is not a fan of me. Say more. My wife is not a fan of me. I don't know how much to say.

She'll go, I try. things and she'll go, the most common phrase you can hear in the course of a day of her speaking to me, the question that she asked more frequently, is that supposed to be a joke? Is that supposed to be funny? Do you think that is, do you think, Howie, do you think that's funny? Right. So I need to go and I do constantly drop in on clubs around town for some agilation because it doesn't come from home. Do you do that? Will you drop in at a stand-up club? Do you still do that? Always. The other night, you know, last week when we had those pouring rain, like it was coming down and they were saying stay off the roads and everything. I drove to Pasadena and went on at the ice house. There was 11 people in one of the rooms. 11 people I videotaped. I loved it. I loved it. I just want to show up and be there. Stand-up comedy is my comfort zone. I love that. And I drop in in a lot of the clubs. Even when I'm not, I still do stand-up. And people always say to me because they know me more from America. America's got talent or deal or no deal or wherever they know me from. But they go, I used to love when you did stand up.

I never stopped. But now I don't do it. You know, I'm not doing specials. And I just love showing up. And I love showing up in a little, the Ice House. The Ice House has got really good lineup. So it was me on the night that was there. It was a Sebastian Manich.

Manuscalco. Manuscalco. How are you? Well, that's pretty good. But to see you. Come into the stand. Howie man down. So funny.

It got a little more Jewish than you. So fun. Do you feel like you could get up anywhere and what's your runway if you had no material? Could you do? That's my runway. I have no material. I don't want to get up with anything that I know is going to work. I like no material and trying to mine for it.

It's like looking for gold. I try to find those moments that I like to, listen, I know obviously after 45 years in the business, I know I have material that I can. and go to, summon that I could summon and I have an act and I've done like 10 table specials and I have stuff. That's not why I drop in at a club. I love to find a moment that I didn't have going out and then I take notes and that could become part of my repertoire or not or something in the car that I'm thinking on the way there. I try and it's crickets. I love that. The harder it is, the more I have to dig for it, the better it is. The more fun it is. The more challenging it is.

I get why when people go to concerts sometimes to get mad because the performer doesn't want to play their hit or their hits. And they'll do it and maybe they'll do it as an encore. But I think they get more joy of finding the nuance and something new in finding the, you know, every time they do it, maybe a little something different or whatever. And, you know, comedy is music. It's just a cappella kind of. You know, there's a rhythm. How do you find that?

And how do you make somebody that you don't know? You have no idea who they are, where they came from, what the predicament is, and how can I elicit laughter? And even people who come on America's Got Talent, I always tell them that, you know, don't worry about, you know, us four that are sitting there. Don't even worry about the room.

Just do what you think is. is funny and you may be able to capture an audience that isn't even in front of you. There's always a lot more people, and sometimes it's my own wife, that don't find you funny and are not reacting to what you're doing, then do react. You're just lucky as a comedian. You did stand up when you were a kid. Yeah. I know that.

But you're lucky that whatever your sensibility is is somewhat relatable to that room. But even when you play a big concert and thousands of people show up, there's probably two million in that town that didn't buy a ticket doesn't give a shit about who you are and doesn't laugh at your material or doesn't have that same sensibility. So you can't please everybody. You got to please yourself. Do you think David Mammon has this great quote of the easily shamed will never learn? And I say this as a compliment to you. Like you don't seem easily shamed. And no, I am easily shame. But I kind of wallow in that shame. The more awkward, the more uncomfortable, the more shameful I feel. I've become, and maybe it's because of my mental health issues, I have become very comfortable with

discomfort. And I find discomfort relatable. It depends what you do with that shame. Right. It's why I love Indian food. Discomfort. I'm uncomfortable. That's great. But my point is that it's a good point. But I do like that. I don't want what, was it David Mamet that you said so? But he is right. But if you feel shame and because of your shame,

you stop, then you just don't move ahead. You don't do it and you don't experiment. But if you're willing to feel the shame, the fear, the discomfort, you will move ahead. Columbus got in a boat and was willing to maybe sail off the end of

the edge of the earth. It was well known that the earth is flat. Right. And he got in that boat. And that's why we're sitting here today on your podcast in this part of the globe. Right. But let's be honest, and this is a callback, a quick callback to the Indian food. He thought he was in India. Right. So how smart was he? Not so smart. Couldn't have been further. I feel like a, I feel like a moron, which is my way of saying a big fan of how you're dealing with me. So kind. We talked about it on your podcast, but I feel like we must ask, you got this. crazy viral moment for having Tom Sandoval at the height of Scandival on this, the exclusive interview. And you took a little heat for it. And I'd love to hear a little bit of how that came to be and

what your thoughts were after. Well, it came to be because I'm looking out the window here, for those that don't know, you're in my studio and he's in Florida. Yes. And this lovely lady is, Kimmy is right there. I don't know if you can get there. She's waving in that shot. That's Kimmy. Hey, Kimmy. Her husband is Jason Bader. Jason is Tom's drummer and road manager. So I had an inn. And I said to Kimmy or through Jason, you know, if he wants to come in, this thing is blowing up all over the news.

If he wants to come in and tell his side of the story, come on in and I won't attack him. I won't question them. I got attacked in question for not attacking and questioning. But that's how it came to be. And how did you feel about that? It actually at the beginning shocked me. But not totally because I've been in this business for a long time and so of you. And you realize that context is everything.

And we talk to the press. When you talk to a press outlet, you go, that's not what I said or that's not what I meant. It's how people take it. You can't. It's like life is like broken telephone. You say something. And then everybody hears a piece of it. and it's taken out of context.

And my one question to Tom was, why do you, like, why is this such a big deal? You cheated on your, I would kill somebody who did that to me, you know? Sure. But, and I don't condone it. And I've been married for 43 years. I'm really about conservative in relationships. I don't, I'm not open to this. So I didn't say that part of it.

But I just said, why is this such a big deal? Why is somebody from a cable show who cheated on his girlfriend? Why does it have a title, Scandival? Why is it in mainstream news outside of those people? Why is it such a big deal? When you take the context that I'm going, it's no big deal. That's how it was taken. It was taken, number one, is me condoning what he did.

Taking a side, not pushing back at all. And also I said, I really don't know anything. about the show or the characters or what's going on? I don't. I'm just asking, why do you think you as a guy I'm meeting who happened to be unfaithful in a relationship? Why do you think this is the biggest news in the world? Even the fact that here we are a year later and I'm talking about it on your podcast. Like why? And the connotation is, I think it's no big deal. Right. And which is not something that the Bravo audience wants to hear. And they are this real strong, outspoken audience that I've never, I've been in this for 45 years. I've been involved and engaged in social media from

the time I heard of social media, you know, and I've never been attacked so harshly as I was. You know, I take it with a grain of salt, but I'm also amazed by the fact that people take this time and this energy to be so hateful. Boy, my kids love KiwiCo. I cannot tell you how great it is when a KiwiCo arrives in the mail. They go nuts. They love it. And I love it because KiwiCo delivers seriously fun learning for kids of all ages

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with promo code good guys. That's 50% off your first month at k-I-W-I-C-O.com. promo code good guys. Do you think that, and Ben, tell me what you think? Because you weren't so familiar with it, that in inviting him to tell his story, you weren't able to see the parts where people felt like he was just not being truthful, right?

So it's in essence like... But I didn't care. I didn't, you know, the point... You wanted to let him, if he was going to lie, let him lie and let the audience decide. I didn't say come on my show and you better tell the truth. I said come on my show. And, you know, I saw in every article, first of all, the fact that it was given a title, the fact that it's not Tom Sandoval cheated.

It's Scandival. It was an entity onto itself. I said, come on and you could say whatever you want to. We haven't heard from you. We've heard from everybody else shitting on you. We've heard from everybody, whatever anybody thinks of it. We haven't heard from you. So why don't you come on?

You could say whatever you want. I don't care. And I can't, you know, and I'm going to be honest with you. And I was honest right up the front. I don't watch the show. I don't know who some of these people that you speak of are. I'm not going to go like he goes, I couldn't go home. And I have no ammunition to go, well, what do you mean you couldn't go home?

You could go home. I know that so and so. I have no information. Just say that. And then I thought that the people, part of the joy and the entertainment value is those people that do know or do think that he's not being forthcoming? Sure. That's on you and him.

That's not, but I don't know how I got dragged into that whirlpool of, wow. I think that people were more upset that Tom almost got away with having that. This was his moment. You said it yourself that he hadn't come out and been outspoken. That more he got away with this being the version of him coming out and making a public statement, at least from what I saw. But here's the thing.

Here's the thing. You're saying got away. But it's not even, he didn't get away with it. They, they, you know, he got to say what he got to say. What he got, you know, when you look at when somebody is indicted in court outside of this little scandal, what you do is, do you know what a deposition is? You know, they let anybody from whatever side, the defense or the prosecutor, they'll let you, they'll ask you the question. without any challenge, you can answer the questions.

However, you feel you want to answer the questions. Then those answers can be used in a court of law against you. If you're lying and they can prove, you said this, but here, you said on Thursday night, you were in Vegas. But here is a piece of, and they don't say, no, you weren't. They don't bring that up at that point. But when they go to court, or these are the people that are. that are viewing it, they say, but there's a video of you in 7-Eleven in L.A.

You're saying you were there that night. How do you prove that? And that's the court of law. I didn't invite him to be on court. What about the court of relationships? Does that show exist? Okay, hear me out, right? Big pitch.

I think that Chrissy Teagan tried to launch this with Quibi. Do you remember that? Quibi, who, no one remembers. Hear me out. I do. Do you have a deal with Quibi? Does Quibi have a, Quibi? Who didn't have a deal with Quibi first of all?

I did. I had a show on Quibi. And how many people passed on the idea you sold to Quibi? Quibi was the landing spot for anything that's... No, I had a great show there, which I'd still like to do. Well, I think this could be... You have, like, relationship court. You have Howie, you be the judge. Maybe you get Steve Harvey.

He's got nothing to do. And like, you know, you have people state their case, and then you make a decision. And I don't know. Give him a trip to Orlando. And having no point of reference, or whether you think it's not true or not, I didn't have the, and I admitted it, and I don't think it's wrong, I don't want to, I'm glad that I didn't do research. I really am. I'm defending myself because if I had research, just knowing who I am, I've got a big mouth, you know, he would have walked out because if I had

some research, a little bit of research and he said something, I wasn't, it would be hard for me to bite my tongue and go, but you said, but you, that's not, sure. You know, I don't want to do that. Right. You wanted him to just sort of let it out and let the court of public opinion decide. Or the people that know or the people that have a different opinion. Right. And you know what? It did well. You know, that episode is probably my biggest episode. Yeah. It crushed. So it was good for me. It was good for me. I feel bad that people get hurt. You know, ultimately good people, bad people, people do good things. They do bad things. They're all human, you know. And I don't wish any negativity or heartache on anybody.

Then should we get into a speak pipe? We should. So we get these things called speak pipes, which are our wonderful morons. What are you nuts? That's coming. Oh, this is not it. This is a speak pipe. I always get the pipe and the nuts mixed up. But I got to remember the nuts are under the pipe. They're in cahoots. They're in cahoots.

There's another word. Cahoots with my pipe and nuts now. They're complimentary. Okay. So this is advice. This is questions from our audience and they're looking for us to kind of help them out. Because they're morons. We'll do a quick one.

Exactly right. Let's hear from Kat. Why not? Let's be brave. Guys, my name is Kat. I'm 27. I'm a big fat moron. Hopefully not fat much longer.

I am on Olympic. Anyways, my question is, I am thinking of converting to Judaism. It's something I've thought about for the last few years. But my fiance isn't totally on board. He's not against me doing it, just has no interest in converting himself. He's not super religious. My family thinks I'm a little nuts, but we're getting married in just a few months, and we are planning to have children, so I would like to raise them Jewish.

I don't know. I mean, do you guys think that I'm crazy? What are your thoughts? Do you think my fiance? Well, her fiance is not Jewish. What she's leaving out is her fiance is one of the. members of Hamas. And so you could see why he is not pro her raising their children as Jews.

Yes, he must all get along. I didn't hear that at all. I think he is Jewish. No, he is. I think that she should absolutely convert to Judaism with eyes wide open knowing that it is really freaking hard. It's harder to convert. Most converted Jews are far more religious.

than born into Jews. You have to go through a very, very rigorous process. It's not like in the other religions where you want to be it. We say, okay, perfect, you're in. It's a rigorous process. But if you're down, we would love to have you. We are small and mighty. And we could add another one in.

We'd love another big fat moron. Oh, we'll go to the next speak pipe. This is our last speak pipe of the day. This is Adam. It's Adam, a Mormon moron over here in the southern Utah. And I have a question for both of you. So in May, my girlfriend's lease is up in her apartment. And we both want to have her kind of just move in with me at my house.

But as you may know, Mormons do not canoodle before marriage. And my parents, who are the absolute best as well as my family might have a heart attack. if they knew me and my girlfriend were already canoodling, but it might send it over the edge if they knew we were moving in together. Right. So my question for you is, do we still move in together and have, like, give my parents a heart attack? Do we move in together and not tell them? Do we?

Wow. You guys discuss. I'm going to go pee really quick. We're not cutting this out. Discuss. I'm sorry. I will. I will.

You go pee. Here's my thought on it. First of all, if it's something that is, I don't know what the religious theme is in your podcast that all your call it. We're just so Jewish and we're so proud and all we do is talk about Judaism. That's probably why that other woman wanted to convert because she just hears us speak so proudly as Jews. And yeah, I don't know. But it seems like most of your callers, most of the people in the pipeline, as you call it, are not Jews.

They're Mormons and people who want to. Yes. Yes. Okay. So, but the point is that. is that if this is like a really, like a really predicament that this guy's in, number one, you don't call into a podcast as a Mormon telling the people that you have a girlfriend who has a lease up in May because your parents could find out because Mormons do

listen to podcasts and there's a good chance that you have let the cat out of the bag, as it were, just by making this phone call. His question is he's already, I love that he calls it canoodling. Canoodling is not a great word for what he's doing. But I think that as long as he keeps the canoodling to just anal, then he's safe. I'm not familiar with the rules of Mormons, but I would imagine if you stay away from the front canoodler, then you've, then you're still, she's considered fresh. Also, I do know that the Mormons have a special underwear that it's really hard to get through, right?

Yes, me of wood. Yeah, so he has that. So he has that kind of protection. So the answer is, here's what I would do. And this is just my opinion. And I don't know if she's for it. I would convince your Mormon girlfriend to convert to Judaism. Yes.

What would give his parents more of a heart attack if, his girlfriend converted to Judaism or if they moved in together? Well, the point is, if he, if she converted to Judaism, at least she can point to the first caller in the pipe and say, it's not just me. Yes. It's both of them. It is both of them because it is, delision is very tribal and that's not something you want to do on your own.

And I don't really understand why they're calling you with these problems. Where's safe space? We have a lot to offer. I don't know anything that was just discussed. But how he brought up a very interesting point, Josh. Mormons do listen to podcasts. So technically, he may have just outed himself on this podcast. You said, I'm a Mormon.

I have a girlfriend who's leases up in May. I would imagine he's very close to his parents. How many Mormon families have a son who has a girlfriend with a lease up in May who happens to be Mormon, who doesn't have a friend that's another fellow Mormon from their church that doesn't say, hey, you know, this is very similar. Don't you have a girlfriend who is at least up in May? Have you been canoodling? You think that Mark and Judy Mormon up in, I assume, Park City, Utah, wherever they live.

It's not the only place Mormon's left. There's a high concentration. It's the great neck of Mormons, right? Right? Okay. You think that they, with their wonderful, wonderful carpentry business, they probably go out to eat twice a week, somewhere nice. I think you're confusing them with the, what are the ones that wear the, the Amish?

Amish. No, no. The Mormons are in the carpentry. No. I love carpentry. Amish. Amish do carpentry out of necessity. They don't call it carpentry. They call it, I'm going to need a new toolbox.

You know, get to it, Jedediah. Mormons don't do carpenter. The Amish love butter. The Mormons sing. Do they sing? The Osmans, hello. Right, right, right, right. Yes.

So they sing, right. You think they're listening to the good guys, you know, two Jews and a Howie Mandel? Isn't that a third Jew? I'm not in the, you know, you think you're in the pipeline. Do you not think I should remain a Jew? Do I think you should remain a Jew? Harry Mandel? Yeah. You're going to renounce your Judaism here on the good guys? No, I'm at. People seem to be asking who God is that when you want to know who your God should be, who do you call the good guys. That's right. I didn't realize that.

We're like Joel Olsteen. Josh, should we do it. What are you nuts? We should. Why? Because this whole pipe dream thing you're doing is not working out? We piped. We piped. We picked. We piped. We're done. What was your advice to him? Oh, advice to him is to convert to Judaism because we're cool with it. The Jews don't mind a little premarital canoodling. Oh, I told them to do anal.

They stay away from the main canoodler. Right. So you can canoe in the back. That was the advice. Yes. Definitely don't move in with your girlfriend and not tell your parents. That's too. It'll blow up in your face.

I don't like it. I think just move in. Mild heart attack. They'll get over it. Love that. All right, let's get into our Woody Units moment of the week, as we've already described. Ben, what do you got? So I was on a JetBlue flight here.

Oh, name dropper. Look at him. Hey, now. And JetBlue, you guys probably wouldn't fly these flights. It didn't have mint. There's no first class. There's no nothing. It's just one of those planes where it's just all economy, back to front.

Yeah. You have a jet, Howie? Do I have a jet? Yeah. But you only fly by PJ. I do. Yeah, you do. That's why I'm here.

For you. Thank you. You deserve it. So then this problem is not a problem that you have. Maybe it's a problem that you had at one point. You're on a flight. It's not a red eye. It's a short flight.

All of a sudden, you're working. Maybe you're on your computer. You're on your phone. Guy in front of you reclines a seat all the way back. I think reclining, I think reclining your seat on a less than five-hour flight when you're in coach should be punishable by law. And all I have to say is what are you nuts?

Okay, it's against the recline. How much money would it take for you, Howie, to take a middle seat from L.A. to Orlando on Spirit Airlines. How much money? There isn't money. It's not money. It's not money. It's like to save a life. It's beyond money.

I won't do it. I had a horrible experience. The last time I was on a commercial flight, the guy next to me took his shoes off. And there was an odor. There was a smell. And I didn't know how to deal with the smell. And I went and talked to the flight attendant, and I said, is there any way, is there any way that you can ask this gentleman to put his shoes back on?

You know, like it's just, it's a crime what's happening. And she did that for me and the smell didn't go away. And lo and behold, this guy, his ankle stunk. I don't know what stunk, but it wasn't his feet. That hurts. So smells is why I don't want to be on. 100 million, middle seat spirit right now, they'll wire it in. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm not that crazy. Yes, I wear a mask. I'll do whatever. I just... 10, 10 million. Oh, you're going, we still be... I said yes already to 100. Why? I know, but now I got to, we got to triangulate. No, but if I say, you don't know how this is, you should, you'll never be a game show host. I started too high. Well, it's just, for a hundred million, will you do it? Yes. Deal or no deal? And I wouldn't. But why would I take 10 million when I was just given a hundred million? Well, let's say that I had started with 10.

Well, yes, is the answer. But if you would have said, I'll give you $5,000, I would say no. If you said $10,000, I would say no. All right. 11.5. 115 is the number. Have you ever messed up? My fear in hosting the game show would be somehow I would make a mistake that would influence

the person who was competing for the money. Has anything like that ever happened? Yeah. Well, on deal or no deal. I was so afraid my whole. whole persona was kind of calculated in the sense that when I decided to do the show, I wanted to be really entertaining and funny and I didn't really want to be game show host. It was the antithesis of, you know, comedy. And then what happened is when I was on the set with somebody who,

who as was described to me, their life would be incredibly changed, even if they had $10,000. They had three children. It was a single mother. They had no money in the bank. They didn't live in L.A. You know, I'd live in the middle of the country. They had no health insurance. With $10,000, there was probably her rent for a year. You know, it was probably enough to buy health insurance for her family. Jeez.

So I'm sure, have you been on the set of a television show with somebody who isn't in television? And there seems to be a, you know, I don't know how to describe it, but there's a glaze that goes over somebody who you go, they're not really here. This is so. And the lights. The lights. the cameras, the audience, the pressure.

They're just so, it's so, it's a lot to take in to be comfortable. And I realized that, you know, if I started performing and being, you know, if it became about me and how I was doing, I would be a distraction. This was enough distraction. I didn't have to add one more that I noticed like the first time there was an offer for $10,000 without even taking no idea. And then I got scared that what I was doing would not help her make the best decision possible. So that's why I started, you know, people make fun of it and you were doing it.

That's why I started talking slower and more deliberately like you probably talk to your kids. And I started saying, you know, the offer is $20,000. $20,000. Double the amount of money you made this year at your job, you know. Enough to pay 10 years, I mean, two years rent. Enough to maybe put a down payment on a. home. Wow. Deal or no deal? No deal. You know, but it's very funny. But the truth was, and then I would get in trouble because they would go, well, you know, you sound like you're telling her, you're selling her on that. And what happens if you sell her on that and she says

deal? Because in my mind, it was always, the guarantee was what I said. The guarantee is $20,000. The chance at one of your cases or your case having a million, what are the chances? There's no chance that you can walk out of here with $20,000. I'm not a gambler. So the fear was that maybe I delivered it in a way that made you go, you know, right? This is two years my rent. This is like, okay, deal. Right. And then we say, let's open up your case. And you have the million dollars. You could have stayed in the game and, you know, gotten an offer for $200,000, $300,000. thousand dollars so i had to kind of be void of trying to influence you know and it's really hard to be human and to look at another human i do have even though you know i uh bread and butter is

comedy i have a lot of empathy you know and it's really hard for me to sit in a room or across from a human being and not want them to do great but not want them to be guaranteed to do great so it's sometimes backfired All right, my Woody and Nuts moment, and then we will hear Howie's and take this one home. And this is hacky. It's the Trader Joe's parking lots. Trader Joe's just an incredible establishment. Their private label items are second and none.

I talk in commercials. You do. You'll never find anything. This is even better than your fun wipes. From their Latin offerings, aka Trader Jose. But you know what? It's a joke. The parking lots at Trader Joe's are so.

just insurmountable. People get so intense in those parking lots. It's not worth it. I think the CEO of Trader Joe's goes to a new city and goes, find me all the worst parking lots in the city. We're opening up some new stores. What are you nuts? Nuts.

Mr. Mandel, take us home. It's the peppermint cakes and urinals. Ah. I don't like that. I don't like the peppermint, like for the most part, and I'm not a plumber, you pee into a urinal, And then when you flush or it automatically flushes, the water washes all of that away. And then it's gone.

When you have an absorbent cake with a minty odor on it and you pee onto that with, I believe that, you know, this is the toilet's altoyed. I don't know what it's supposed to be, you know, a fresh breath minty. But what it does, it absorbs some of your urine. So now you get a minty pea odor. It's almost worse. I think let it be gone. Let it be gone. I don't know.

And along with that, if I can have two things about what do you be. It's the ice. What does the ice do? And we know we've talked about it. I found out. Found out. Ready for this? Give me a second.

It is to encourage men because men are such slabs and monsters. It gives them a game for their dumb little brain to, keep their peepy in the urinal. So they go, I'm going to melt the ice. And in doing so, they're keeping it, keeping it in the urinal as opposed to on the sides, on the floor. You tend to see it at bars and places where people are slightly inebriated. I'm from Canada.

If that was true, why isn't, why aren't the, in the middle of the winter in February, the edges of lakes filled with people pissing all over the lake? Trump 2024, you know? I don't know. You know, it's just. Canada for you. Howie, thank you for being on the show, man. Thanks for having me.

Thank you for having us on your podcast. Howie Mandel does stuff. Howie Mandel does stuff. We drop one every Thursday. And then we have a live one with what? We drop, I'm right. I was wrong. We drop every Thursday at 10 a.m. Pacific Standard time.

Every Tuesday. Every Tuesday. Every Tuesday. Can I start again? Please. Thanks for having me on your podcast. What are we going to do? Howie, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.

Oh, I thought we could just start the whole episode again. The whole new thing? I'd love to. Oh, you want to just do the end again? I mean, Tuesdays. Howie Mandel does stuff. Tuesdays. It drops at 10 p.m. 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time.

I don't know when it's on Tuesdays. At 10 a.m. Pacific Standard Time, we drop new episodes. It's me and my daughter and great guests. You are great on the show. Thank you for having us. Oh, it's fantastic. You're the good guys and we are just, we just do stuff and subscribe and I want people to subscribe and I want people to. And then watch Deal or No Deal Island, which is on now.

Love that. Yeah. And Canada's got talent, which is on right now. What's coming up? Printing money. So good. I am so. Josh, Josh, we have to go to good or good deal or no deal island.

That's where we're going next. I've been inspired by the wallpaper and maybe we're going to redo our studio for. or Howie Mandel does stuff. I think flamingos is the way to go. It's nice. But yes, Howie, thank you so much for coming. As always, listen to the good guys, Mondays and Thursdays. Give this episode five stars.

If it's not five stars, what are you nuts? You can find us on Spotify, Apple. Watch us on YouTube on Josh's YouTube channel. Share our clips. We got some amazing ones, clearly, from this episode with Howie Mandel. Listen to us on Howie's podcast, and thanks for listening. Well, so much slicker than my. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.

Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.