Good Guys - I Am Coleslaw (Ben's $10 Deli Rant)

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

Mazel Morons! This is our weekly topical episode, so you know we have you covered with ALL the latest news. We cover Dancing with the Stars, Cameo sliding into Josh’s DMs (back off!), Ben catching Dave Attell perform with Jared Freid, and a deluxe wedding spread. Then, a serial butt sniffer, the word “poo”, Travis Kelce being named a victim in a multi-million dollar Ponzi scheme, and a What Are You Nuts? on charging extra for coleslaw. What are ya nuts?! Love ya! Write us! Send your messages to [e-mail]  Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at MINTMOBILE.com/goodguys. Go to IM8HEALTH.com/goodguys RIGHT NOW and use code goodguys for a Free Welcome Kit, five free travel sachets, plus ten percent off your order. To find delicious recipes and learn more about the antioxidant goodness of POM Wonderful, please go to pomwonderful.com. Sometimes, we can’t make the journey easier. But we can bring a little warmth to it. Learn more at www.minkycouture.com. Get $80 off your first month with promo code SPACE80 at Talkspace.com. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys. We're not the great guys. We're just so good.

Monsomorans, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast and also the Dancing with the Stars Wrapup show. Not even. Like, this is our topical episode and we're women's are tonight. We're going to miss it, okay? But we're going to talk about the men, Josh, okay? Unless you don't want to. I mean, dear friend of the podcast, Tyler Cameron, dear friend of the podcast, Connor Wood, Mr.

Fibula. I mean, we are, it's basically the good guys show. Yeah, it's just a big bag of randos on there, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, I was just asking the name of the lovely gentleman on Glee and Scrubs. His name is Harry Shum Jr. And Josh, I know that you didn't watch, but let me tell you, he is a professional dancer. And they asked him, they're like, so like, do you think this will help you? He goes, if anything, I think it's a disadvantage.

What are you nuts? You think it's a disadvantage to have a dance background in a dance conference? When you're going up against Guillermo from fucking Jimmy Fallon? Like, what do you mean? You, it's a disadvantage that you have a history of, sure, hip hop dance. You can fucking groove, bro. You can move and groove. It's a disadvantage.

That's such a media trained answer. It's a disadvantage. If anything, it's a disadvantage. Are you crazy? I heard that. I was cracking up. If you were numerically dyslexic, that's a disadvantage, right? If you were like five, nine, ten, eleven.

Josh, Josh, there's an amputee on the show. That's a disadvantage. That's hot. Okay? And he was amazing. His name is Zach. And let me tell you, he didn't just get, what did you say? His name is Ezra.

Thank you for that quick correction. His name is Ezra. Okay? And let me tell you, Ezra, this guy, so unbelievably talented, And people are going to think, oh, the judges gave him seven out of ten because he's an amputee. No, they gave him in that in spite of the fact that he's an amputee. Unbelievable dancer. Unbelievable story.

This guy could groove. I absolutely. I thought he was amazing. I thought he was amazing, Josh. And the last part of my Dancing with the Stars men's recap is when Tyler Cameron was done. They went to talk to him and Derek Huff said, Dylan, you were amazing. And something in me died.

It was really just so sad. Like, it was just like being on national television and being called the wrong name on a show where they, the only thing they need to do is know your name. It was very sad. So that's Dancing with the Stars. You're so right. I think Dancing with the Stars like my reference before about reboots, it is a bit of terminal lucidity. It's like that, that final boost of energy before the end.

It is, dude. I mean, shout out. Again, like all these things, the winners of these shows are the producers. And I do, let me, allow me to just nod my figurative hat to them completely because one thing about the great Connor Wood,

God, do I love this boy? He's just great, great friend of the show, great dude in general. I noticed on his page, and then of course I'm all in as the proper millennial that I am, I love this Julius Stiles and I want to see what she's up to. The amount of posts that these producers insist that the celebrities make insane. Like insane. Insane. A brand would have to pay millions to get this level of coverage.

Literally, literally. And they're paying them like, they're paying them per epa. But, like, we know, it's very modest. They're getting between 200 and 300 grand total, maybe 150 and like upwards of 300 if they went. Isn't it? It's not on. So this guy, Connor Levitt. I don't know if you know who he is.

He's the husband of the secret lives of Mormon wives Whitney, who went on dancing with the stars and it completely changed her career. She then went to be Roxy on Broadway and transitioned from secret lives to a pretty legitimate actress. or a theater actress or whatever, whatever it may be. He went on the show. He had eliminated last night. He was a big stinko. He was the first person to be eliminated. He probably made one check, no?

Like you don't get guaranteed 150 for going on the show. It's probably 150 over six episodes if you make it six, right? No, I actually think you get a guarantee of 100 to 150 for, because there's a lot of lead-up, right? There's weeks of rehearsal. Sure. And all the publicity, all the media things. And then I think every subsequent week that you get through, you get another 25,000. Got it.

Got it, got it. Okay. All right. So he went on. God, he was a dog, Josh. I couldn't believe it. Stunk. Right there in front of his wife and kids.

Yes. Stunk it up. And she's so supportive. Like she won. She's there rooting him on a year after, not one, but like a year after she was amazing. She like made it very far. Crowd favorite. He's there.

he's a terrible dancer. Like, what do you? Like, I get, like, if you're an Andy Richter last year, Guillermo this year, you're the funny man. You're allowed to be a bad dancer, right? Right. But he's like, fit, young. Like, he's not, like, Connor was,

Connor Wood was a good dancer. Yeah, he's awesome. So, like, I don't, like, why would you ever subject yourself to that if you have zero coordination? Like, what's the point? Going home night one is terrible. Like I get like dancing with the stars isn't about being a dancer on night one. But it is about having enough coordination with your body to know that you could become a good dancer if you practice for like fucking 12 weeks.

Because they're selling these people the what ifs. They are. They're going to be this. This is going to be the thing that helps me to break through. And as I've learned through this horrible business that has literally. to find me since before I knew my bug in ABCs, okay? There's no re-breaking, all right? This ain't going to do it.

It's fodder. The producers win and the audience wins. The participants do not win. But this isn't even a re-break-in. Like, again, I don't know if you've ever watched Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I watch everything because Claude reports on it on the toast every morning. Also, I kind of like it. And Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is about a group of women.

Mom talk. And then these like jealous husbands are there. So they call themselves Dad Talk. But the show is about the women. It's not about the guys. Like this guy getting the opportunity to go on dancing with the stars is insane. Like I know that like from your perspective, it's like this is like a way out for him. It was a way anywhere.

Sure. That makes sense. And he's out. It was just. I'm trying, I'm sorry if I'm being mean, but like, look, I thought you were a terrible dancer. You seem like a really nice guy. And if you hear this, I wish you good luck. But clued the dancing was not the right career path for you.

If you're not defined by anything yet, it can be a way in to the sort of lexicon and to people's homes and to sort of make your name better known for sure. But if you're known for anything else and then you step into the mirror ball, that I think you've got to be a little bit more careful. But look, I'm not against the whole enterprise. Shout out the show. Shout out things like this. It's the same thing with like, what's it called special teams where what's the special forces and whatnot.

I get offered all these things and I'm an inch away. But I say no, because we all have a bottom line. Am I going to be at the Salt Lake City Fan X convention with Drake this weekend? You better believe it. But I'll never be on cameo. You fucks. I'll never do it. Camio's in my DMs every other week.

They're like, you know, we get a lot of searches for you. I said, you know, cameo, you're barking up the wrong trade. I got. If you, can you dance at all? Yeah, of course. So then like, I don't know. If you won, could it hurt? It's not good.

It's not good. Even in, I feel like it wasn't good. But is it now good that like Alex Earle, who's arguably one of the most famous people in the world, like she did it. And now this year they definitely have come down a rung again. But like she did it and it seems like. But what is she famous for? She's famous for, I guess, TikTok. And being beautiful.

Yes. And now being a great dancer. Like is it not just like another feather in your cap? Like, oh my God. And Josh can dance. You really see it as a terrible thing. No, no, no. I don't see it as anything, really.

It's not right for me, but I think the people that do it. And I think, I think if you're Alex Orlin, I don't mean this in a derogatory way at all, but like a lot of your, the things that you do are wonderfully, they're not like terribly deep, which is okay. Totally. I think we need a reprieve. I think we need joy. I think we need easy things to consume.

And I think that aligns. beautifully and it's no surprise why that would have done well for her. And shout out to her. She's, you know, crushing it. But I think that makes sense. If it conflicts maybe with the thing that you're trying to do or have done before, then it can feel a little different. I understand. I understand. That makes sense. Well, you won't be seeing Josh on cameo or on dancing with the stars anytime soon. Don't even try me. Anytime soon. Josh, I went to see our dear friend of the podcast, Jared Freed. His Netflix special came out and I went to see. He put together a little comedy

collective at the comedy seller that night that his special came out. And I just wanted to say, I saw for the first time I've never seen him before. What is his name? Mr. Patel. What's his first name? Insane comedian. Insane. Patel. Dave Atel. Dave. Dave, Adel. Dave. Oh, are you kidding me? David tells you're the greatest ever. Oh my God. Jared and Dave shared the stage for 30 minutes at the end. Dave, it was the funniest half hour I've ever watched. He is gold. Yeah.

You never seen his comedy before? I think I've seen his comedy. I've definitely never seen him in person. I've seen him in movies. I think he was in train wreck. But no, I don't, I've definitely never seen him in person. And he was, I've never seen somebody so fast, especially at the seller. Like he is just, he's ready, ready, ready, ready, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke.

And they are all hysterical. He was so funny. Dave is a genius. He's a comedian's comedian. He's your favorite comedian's favorite comedian. He's a Mount Rushmore. And he, the other day, so there's this guy who is doing, he calls it the portcast. And he's basically doing a podcast while getting.

for stage four cancer at Sloan Kettering. Okay, Ron Bennington. Amazing pod. Yeah. So he has all these comedians who he interviews while he's getting chemo and it's hysterical and sad and all the things. And so he had David Tell on and Dave brought the great Ian Fye dance. This is my favorite story.

So Ian, trying to be a good guest, brought not one but two edible arrangements to Ron Bennington, okay? Nice, nice, you know me. I love an edible arrangement. I said, one of your father. And then, Josh, I want to thank you. Thank you for this beautiful fruit. I know the internet thinks you're a fruit, but I love fruit.

Gosh, thank you so much, Bruce. Wow. So he brings two edible arrangements and then he was like, like, you know, he's got colon cancer. Probably shouldn't bring red meat or anything like this. Could only make it worse. But, you know, it would be a nice dish would be maybe some seafood from Smith and Wolensky.

So he, Dave goes, he stunk up the entire wing of the cancer, the treatment wing. He's like, with oysters and scallops, he goes, and for me, scallops are not a celebratory mollusk. It was so fucking funny. He's a genius. He's so funny. He said that he sleeps on a pile of his old merch like a dragon on his treasures. He's the best.

It was just one-liners. It was so good. And he just like he also cracked like a couple of Iran jokes. that were great after a guy right before him, like made a couple of, I don't know, I didn't love the Jew jokes. He started off by saying like,

my fiance is Jewish. It's like, okay, like, read the room. But he came in and made a couple of just like zingers. He was hysterical. I loved it.

Oh, loved it. He was so funny. A night out on the town. Benny out there's literally, I've been having nights out, Josh. Sunday night,

me and Claudia, were invited to and attended a royal wedding between Mr. Mario Carbone. and his now wife, Kay Bailey, Mrs. Carbone. And let me tell you, Josh, all I cared about was the food.

Of course. The food that said Sylvester Stallone was there. Wow. That's pretty high profile. The great Craig Conover was there. Great. Leah Michelle. Wow.

Alex Earl. Claudia. Me. Jake Shane. This is star-studded affair. Sounds it. Sounds it. The food, Josh.

Unbelievable. You know, I don't eat this. stuff. He had lobsters bigger than my head. He had a caviar, the most beautiful caviar board. I've never seen this before where it's a big, huge buffet. You go up, you're thinking, oh, I can just make a plate. No. They didn't want anybody standing and eating. So they have probably at 600 people, they probably had 300 staff. One of the 300 people that work there would make you a plate with everything that you wanted on it. And then there's random seating. You'd go and point to where you

wanted to sit, they'd walk you over, you'd sit down, they'd put a napkin on your lap, and he'd eat. And then when you were done, you'd get up. This was class out the ass, Josh. And the best, he had something. He had a salmon board, okay? Smoked salmon, homemade bread, capers, you name it. And next to it, I'm looking at this. I'm like, what is this? These yellow balls in a, in a sauce. They called it gooseberry mustarda. It's a gooseberry, which is like a, slightly acidic. It's not a berry, berry. In a mustard sauce, Josh, that you put on the salmon?

Oh my God. Wow. 10 out of 10. Wow. Unbelievable. Lamb chops. Regatoni olivac, alacca, alaccarbone, truffle past. You insane.

Three performers. I don't remember the other two, but Benson Boone. Wow. This is a big, this is a big affair. Big affair. This is a million dollar wedding. Yeah, except for the fact that you don't, as like the guy who owns, he owns the venue. It was at the grill and the pool.

Okay. And he owns the catering company. It was them. So I don't, I don't actually know what he had to pay. But yeah, it was, it was certainly, if somebody were to have tried to do it separately, yeah, it was a million dollar. I mean, Ben's a Boone's not getting out of bed for less than a mill. No? No, definitely not.

But maybe for them, he got out of bed for. like a thanks for a favor who knows how many songs did he do um i think each did like four to five okay yeah that's not a full point like my our dear friends who have a little bit of scratch had keigo this kai gun at the wedding and he did the after party but he did an hour plus show he he did he was contracted for an hour and he probably did two and uh i think he got a nice million dollar paycheck Yeah, that's, that's different. No, this was, this was like 20 minutes a person. Like, not, not like overwhelming.

It was, it was, yeah, it was, it was great. Wow. It was great. Look at that. Look at you. Benny famous, man. What can I say? Ben, what can I say?

What can I say? Other than that, just thinking that's, that's what's new, Joshy. You're living it up. That's what's going on. Living it up. Did you watch the Emmy is this weekend? I could, I could not care about this.

I did. I love Mariska Hargitay. Yes. Anything that she does, I love. I love that she is probably the richest, most successful person in that room and doesn't have an Emmy. And it just goes to show like this, like, feeder of Emmys. Like, what's the goal in Hollywood? Make fucking money.

And the people who make all the money don't get rewarded for anything. Like, what is Adam Sandler? What is he made? Like 600 million in Netflix contracts. One bubkus. Like, I'm not like, it's because like it's not for a critic. I guess law and order is too low brow for a critic. Or,

but she's amazing. She did a hilarious intro with Jalen Brunson, which I loved. She got Taylor Swift to do a video with her, which was really funny too. And Taylor Swift, amazing actress. Who knew?

Like, I thought she wasn't awkward. She was great. Like the rest of it, I could really like give two shits. Like it's not, I don't know what any of these shows are. I don't know who any of these people. I know some of the people.

Right. But like, who gives a shit? Not me. Not me. First of all, I did a movie with her husband, Peter Herman. First of all, this man. I mean, this is. What a power couple.

This is a man cut out of stone, you know? Like, God did not use the same material for us that he used for Peter. Okay. You know when you're doing clay, right? And you have your main clay, but then there's scraps. And you go, with these scraps, I'll mash it. He forgot to put us in the kiln. God took the Peter Herman scraps and he said, I'll make a Ben and Josh.

But this Peter Herman, now this is who I'm focused on. And God, is he beautiful? Such a, and they just seem to have a good. Their kids are gorgeous. They just seem to be a beautiful family. And God bless her. It was funny. I remember Peter said when we were filming the, um, the movie.

I was like, you know, her doing SVU for 20 plus seasons. Eight, 28. Insane. Like, and I know what it is to be on a one hour show on location, a drama like that. It is one of the hard. And I know, you know, bricklayers have a harder job. It's a given. Yes, it's easy to be on TV. By the way, these people, if anybody actually feels that way, all jobs are fucking hard.

Sorry, they pay way better. Acting pays way better. For sure. Certainly. But these are hard. They're hard. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at MintMobile. Folks, I don't know about you.

But I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seems like keeping my money to pause off. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees and quote three perks that actually cost more in the long run and switched to Mint Mobile. Folks, you can be saving so much money on the same wireless, better wireless, save so much money compared to these other big wireless companies who have crappy service anyways. Real money. Stop overpaying for wireless just because that's how it's always been. Mint exists purely to fix that. Min Mobile is here.

here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at just 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Bring your own phone number, activate with ESIM in minutes, and start saving immediately. No long-term contracts, no hassle at all. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from MintMobile for just 15 bucks a month. Folks, MintMobile is it.

You got to try it. Great deals, great service. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at MintMobile.com slash Good Guys. That's Mint, M-I-N-T, mobile, M-O-B-I-L-E dot com slash Good Guys. Disclamer, upfront payment of $45 for $5-gigabyte claim required. Equalint to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months open,

then full-price plan options available. Taxes and fees, extra cement mobile for details. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Palm, folks. Palm Tea is it. We're talking Palm wonderful antioxidant super teas that provide a unique, refreshing flavor available in five delicious varieties. My favorite is the peach passion, but they also have an elderberry, an orange blossom, a honeygreen tea, and lemonade. Folks, this is powered by, you know Palm. This is powered by the antioxidant goodness of pomegranate juice and a bright blend of gently brewed teas, each to taste like a delicious sip of sunshine.

It's like I'm on the boat, taking a nice sip. It's unbelievable every single time I have a palm tea. It's perfect on its own, on the go. Or even add it to a cocktail or mottale. You take this beautiful palm tea, the beautiful, beautiful, palm, wonderful, antioxidant super tea, peach passion. Add a little shot of vodka to it.

Holy smokes. Unbelievable. From honeygreen tea with floral rose notes to orange, blossom white tea and peach passion, each flavor offers a more premium fruit forward taste experience than traditional bottled teas. Folks, to find delicious recipes and learn more about the antioxidant goodness

of Palm Wonderful, please go to palmwonderful.com. That's Palm, P-O-M-Wonderful.com. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Minky Couture. Do you understand how excited I was to do Minky Couture ad reads?

I sleep with this brand on my bed every single night. I literally have one that covers my dog, Romeo's crates. He loves them. He sleeps on one. We have minkeys everywhere. They are literally the most comfortable, unbelievable blankets. But, folks, September is National NICU Awareness Month, a time to recognize the tiniest babies and the incredibly strong families spending their days in NICU rooms. NICU families experience so much uncertainty along with countless hopes,

prayers, milestones, and moments that most of us will never see. Sometimes comfort comes in very small ways. Heart of Minky is Minky Couture's NICU support program, created to bring softness and comfort to precious babies and their families during an incredibly difficult chapter. Through Heart of Minky, Minky, Minkie, Minky partners with more than 300 hospitals nationwide. The program provides more than 6,000 mini-Minkies each month to NICU nurseries across the U.S. Each mini-Minky is a simple gift that carries a meaningful message. You are loved, you are cared for, you are not alone. Folks, during NICU Awareness Month, people are invited to learn more about Heart of Minky, share it. story and recognize the families, loving, hoping, and waiting for their little ones to come home.

Learn more at www.w.minky couture.com. That's M-I-N-K-Y-C-U-T-U-R-E. Minky Couture.com. What an amazing, amazing opportunity to help these kids and families in the NICU and also amazing blankets. By the way, acting pays way better. It's also impossible to get. There are are less successful actors and there are professional athletes. There are less successful actors. That's an interesting statistic. There's what a hundred senators, there's maybe less actors that are making like a really,

really healthy insane living. I would say less than 100. So it's easier to become a U.S. Senator or a professional football player than to be Mariska Hargit. But nevertheless, for a one hour show like this, it's usually you start Mondays at probably 5 a.m. If you're a woman, honestly, you're probably getting an hour to two hours. If you choose, if that's what you want, you're probably in the makeup chair an hour to two hours before call time, right?

Because there's air and makeup and a whole fococta thing. So it's not easy. So it's like 5 a.m. they start. And then it'll be a 12 to 14 hour day. So you're done maybe at 6. So you've gone 5 a.m. to 6. And then the next day, because they have to do a 12-hour turnover, will be, you're done. at 6 a.m.

And it'll progressively get later. And then maybe Thursday, Friday, you go in at noon or 3 o'clock, but you then shoot till midnight and then Friday night till 3 in the morning because then you get your night shots. And then they know, well, we could work you to 3 a.m. on Friday because you have Saturday, Sunday.

And I said to Peter, I was like, you know, after all this time, like, it takes up a lot of your life to be the star of a show like that. I said, does she have kind of a better schedule now? He goes, you know, he's like, they try to give her Friday off, but usually she winds up working anyway. And I'm like, wow, that's, that's what she's given, 28 seasons.

She's giving up her Fridays for us. God bless her. I mean, I mean, she said it multiple times throughout the Emmys. She's so rich. Like, I don't know what she's making an episode right now, but she's made like 600 episodes. Like, it's, it's really. And it's in syndication. Yeah.

She's, let me, I would love to know like what she's, what is her net worth. It's probably like, what do you think? I think 250. I'd say 250 to 300. Here's the real genius is this Dick Wolf. I've told you about this. I've told you about this thing that people like Dick Wolf do. Sorry, this isn't, this can't be right.

It's saying Mariska has an estimated net worth of 100 million, but it also says she earns half a million to 750 per episode. And it's syndicated. Syndication royalties. So there's no way that, yeah, it's, it's. It's probably hundreds. So Dick Wilf, who's the creator of all the law and orders, all the Chicago PD, Chicago Med, Chicago Teachers Union, Chicago dock workers. Chicago's teacher union, it's not as hard hitting as we're used to.

He has all the FBI shows. So what he does is he creates a book. So you've got Law and Order. SvU episode one. And in that book has everything that it took to make that episode. It's got the script. It's got all the production design notes. It's got all the casting.

It's got every piece of wardrobe, every prop. It's basically the IKEA manual for making that episode of that show. And so then the Ukraine hits him up and goes, we'd like to do Law and Order SVU for Kiev, you know. and with the detective costia you know or like they did it with phil rosenthal you know they were in italy they were like everybody loves mario you know it's like and uh and they basically just buy so they sell they literally sell the books for a million two million each and they go we'll buy a hundred books and then they make their version of law and order for you know 30 other countries

wow yeah crazy right alone the amount of shows that he's made here yeah so he he's probably a billionaire, Mr. Wolf. Oh, like four or five, four or five. Wow. It's a lot of cheddar. There was one thing that I was, this is a little morbid, but stay with me. You know, they have the in-memorium segment for these shows,

the Emmys, the Oscars. And they talk about how it's one of their most popular segment, and it's very sad. And, you know, they're honoring these wonderful giants of cinema, and television who have passed, I think it might be even more affecting. If, sorry, if they kept it a secret from us all year,

who had passed and then we... And then it's, whoa! It's funny. Can you imagine watching out? A highlight reel of everybody, And it passed during the year And you just like And you never knew

And you just hear the audience go No And then Nine seconds later No Nine seconds later Oh my God Would be

Would be way better Could you imagine that? Yeah It's pretty morbid I apologize in advance I didn't I think I shut it all off before the in memoriam.

I think they did Dolly Parton, though. I think that was like a big, that was like the big one. Was Dolly on TV? That was going to be my question. I don't know. I know that they did, I'm pretty sure they did it for her, though. They omitted my friend, sadly, who passed away in December, the great James Ransone, great actor who played Ziggy Sabatka on the Wire, was on Generation Kill, Tramey, Bosch,

poker face. I mean, just like at least 100 episodes of television and they just didn't include them. It's a bummer. Why? Like what is that? Like who comes up with that? They say they have a limited time to do it and they have to always omit some people, but it just didn't make a lot of sense to me. Yeah.

Crazy. Weird. Weird. Especially to like let a show like that. Like in the end, it kind of dictates. Not dictates your worth, but like, it's a piece of the pie. Like, that's like the closing chapter for fans of yours. That's very sad.

Should we get into some weird stories? I would love to. What's going on this week? You don't even want to know because a California cereal butt sniffer gets slap on the wrist after the latest spree went viral on TikTok. This is in the California Post. A California butt sniffer with more than 40 arrests is headed back to the streets after receiving just 170 days in jail for his latest parole violation,

despite a history of targeting people and repeatedly cycling through custody. Khalis Crowder, 39, was arrested August 28th after Glendale police received reports of a man acting suspiciously and allegedly getting close to customers to smell them at multiple businesses. I guess this guy is a TikTok of him smelling people's butts and he's not, he may be a life sentence would be good for him. Probably a life one. He belongs in prison. Yes.

That's fucking disgusting. It's also like, what a disgusting habit sniffing asses. Super yucky, especially in the summer. Yeah, like I don't even know what he, what does he get out of that? He likes the smell of poo. I don't know, pheromones, you know, he likes the waft. He likes, he likes some cheeks. How do you feel about the word poo?

What do you call, what would you call it with a Ruvine, one day. We call it poopu caca. Do do. Big dump. Boobu. I think. Took a nice big dump. Fat, fat dump. You take a fat dump?

Ugh. No, I'll probably call it duty. Duty is terrible too. Yuck. What do you guys call it? Shide the other day was like, I have poopies in my butt. Poopies. I'm like, cool.

Amazing. That's a different. That's going to be different, like them telling, like, now I just like pick him up. By the way, I'm a butt sniffer. Maybe this guy is just a, maybe he just has an infant. I pick up Ruby and I sniff his ass. That's how I know. And I lay him down and I give a nice change.

Does Ruben? Maybe the butt sniffer is a, I don't know, maybe he has a newborn at home. Does Ruben stay still when you're changing his diaper? Like, not. Like, for the most part, sometimes I'll have to, like, play a song or sing a song or hand him. Like, he loves holding, like, a bottle of aquifer or something. If he's distracted, he'll stay still. But no, he likes, he tries to squirm, certainly.

Oh, Meyer is like a Tasmanian devil. Meyer always. Every time. Every time. Just, he's just twisting and he's like a tune on the line. That's hard. And I'm like, Meyer. Yeah, because then, like,

The shickets everywhere and the... Wow. It's crazy. It is crazy. We have another news story. We sure do. We sure do. Travis Kelsey named his victim in $35 million Ponzi scheme run by a...

I don't know what this has to do. Run by a legal immigrant. This is the New York Post reporting. The New York... Rupert Murdoch's New York Post. Travis Kelsey has been tagged as a victim in a major Ponzi scheme by prosecutors in a Missouri court. The chiefs says... Star Tide End was named in court on Tuesday as one of the many to be wrong by Sadarth Jawa,

Jowahar, described by the U.S. Attorney's Office as an illegal immigrant who was sentenced to 11 years in prison for fraud that took away more than 35 million from investors. The 38-year-old pleaded guilty to three counts of wire fraud in U.S. District Court in St. Louis in January and was ordered to pay over 31 million in restitution to his victims. Jesus Christ. You know, if you're Travis Kelsey, and I, You know, far be it for me to camp someone else's money. But you got so much, right?

You have a podcast way bigger than us, and it's not even your main job. It kills me. It kills me. Shout out the Kelsey brothers. They deserve all their success. But absolutely crushing it. Definitely, you know, it's worth nine figures plus.

Just give it to a guy at JP Morgan. Like, that you would be even exposed to a Ponzi. scheme means that you're trying to get too much interest on the old dollar get seven percent and feel good about things enough but you know buy proctor and gamble and put it away for a rainy day totally it's just not like it's like is it is that fun for him i i agree with you i think that like people do these things they make these investments they want to be in the cool thing because it like gives them like a rush like making the safe seven percent i think it's like the same percent i think it's like the same thing when somebody goes to a casino.

Why do they go to a casino when they know that they're going to lose when they could invest in something safe? Like I think it's just part of like living for these guys. Like they also see Kevin Durant invested. I think I read it was $250,000 in Anthropic, which is Claude that is now worth $60 million. Fuck. He went 250 to $60 million.

Wow. And it's just like when you have that, which I'm sure Kelsey, like athletes get access to early deal flow. No question. I'm sure they have so many losses. But Kevin Durant could have invested $250,000, whatever the math is there. I think it's 480 times. He could have lost it 480 times, 250,000 and broke even on that deal.

So they're just like throwing darts. And I guess this one got Mr. Kelsey in a bit of hot water. But you see it. And like these guys are no longer satisfied. with their $30 million paychecks because they can be so much more. They can be the face of brands. They can be, it's,

it's crazy. Athletes have become, they're full-blown celebrities. Like they are, like, they're acting, not all of them, but like that upper echelon,

like you're, everything. You're, like you're, maybe a musician, maybe an actor, maybe, uh,

like, You know what I mean? You could do anything you want. If I was rich like that, I'd walk around these celebrity circles and I'd be like, I got a crazy investment I'm in right now. It's sick. Sick. And they'd be like, oh, yeah, what is it?

I'd be like, I can't say, but it's Haisa. Haisa. They'd be like, ooh, haisa. Like, what is that? Is that the new AI? I'd go, uh-uh, haisa. High-yield savings account. I'm getting three percent.

Yeah, I mean, three percent when you have 100 million in the bank, that's a pretty nice way to live. Yeah, not shitty. Not at all. But to support his lifestyle, I don't know if he could do it. But this episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at IM8 folks. Imagine you wake up in the morning, you're feeling eh, eh, you go into your closet full of supplements and you think, what am I going to take today that's going to make me feel better? What are you nuts? You shouldn't have a closet full of supplements. You don't need all that stuff. You don't even know what you need. I was taking turmeric for like three years, not knowing that you needed black pepper to even activate it. I was just taking the spice. Folks,

this is why I-M-8 was made. I-M-8 is the way to simplify your supplement routine once and for all. We're talking 16 supplements replaced nearly 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in one drink. The problem with supplements is you think you need a cabinet full of them to feel your best, but you really don't. I-M-8's daily ultimate essentials has 16 supplements in one. drink for just $2.61. $1.61 a day. Folks, I can attest more energy, energy through the roof, and I'm always looking for that

energy. That's the key here. I want to feel good. I don't want that crash. I don't want the jitters. I just want sustained energy. And I.M.8 helps me with that. Go to I am 8. I am the number eight health. Dot com slash good guys. Right now, or click the link in the description.

Use code good guys for a free welcome kit, buy free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order. That's code good guy. at I am the number eight health.com slash good guys. Code good guys at I'm8health.com slash good guys. Disclaimer, these statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any diseases. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Talkspace.

Folks, Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anywhere, any time. Mental health, 2026, it's a big deal. We should be talking about our feelings. We should be feeling better. Folks, take control of your mental health. The world may feel uncertain and out of control at times. But one thing you do have control over is taking care of your mental health.

And talk space makes it easy to start. I find it very comforting talking to someone. Sometimes you just like let your mind run wild. Talking to somebody, I like writing things out, making a list. All this helps make me feel better. Just like your physical body needs exercise. Your mental health needs maintenance and attention. The better your mental health, the better your physical health and vice versa.

And Talkspace helps you build confidence and skills. Their therapists not only listen to you, they provide valuable techniques to manage stress or conflict in your life. Folks, talk space makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a $0 copay. Folks, if you need someone to talk to, this is the place to do it. I'm telling you, you will feel better. prioritize your mental health. As a listener of this podcast,

you'll get $80 off your first month with TalkSpace. When you go to Talkspace, T-A-L-K-S-P-A-C-E-C-A-C-E. Dot com and enter the promo code, space-80. That's Space 80, S-P-A-C-E-80, to match with a licensed therapist today. Go to Talkspace.com and enter the promo code, space 80.

Do you want another story or you want to go to a moron mail? Let's do more on mail. Okay, all right, folks, moron mail. Good guys, podcast. one at gmail.com. Keep writing in, keep doing it. This one is, the subject is, am I the sweaty teacher? Nice. Hi, good guys. I'm a 32-year-old physical education teacher. I originally started teaching middle school in Southern California and didn't have to worry about weather too much. I'm currently teaching elementary school PE in the great state of Arizona and let me tell you,

it's hot in here. Any advice to not getting too sweaty and stinky while I have to work outside with my classes? I'm trying to avoid 11-year-olds making fun of me for. being the sweaty and smelly teacher. Thanks, Coach T. I have a couple of thoughts. If you're smelly at all, you're just not using deodorant or you're not using enough. Like, this is an easy thing to solve. Or you have to go to the doctor and you have like a, you have a problem. Those are the two options. It's not like, you're either not wearing deodorant. You're not wearing the right deodorant. If you're, if you're using these like aluminum free, by the way, enjoy being aluminum free. Just know you're going to smell like shit. Like that's right.

These aluminum-free deodorants, they may be better for you. They just don't work. So you're going to smell bad. And Josh, sometimes I have to alternate. Sometimes I wear Claudia's deodorant. And when that stops working, sometimes I switch back to my dove for men. So, right? But yeah, otherwise, you might just have it like a disease.

I love that. I use that dove for men. It's gorgeous. It's beautiful. I use dove soap. Here's what I would say. I think it's a couple of things. I think if you want to smell like Bert's Bees, Lavender, and B.O.

Live your life. Enjoy Kingman, Arizona, smelly. But if you, but here's another thing that I learned that I do once to twice a week because you have to be careful because you don't want to kill all the bacteria biome on your skin like this thoroughly all the time. A lot of times if you stink, it's because there's bacteria that's not getting cleaned off in your pits. It's not getting fully cleaned by your, you know, gentle body wash, right?

and it can be causing smell. So I have this thing, Hiboc cleanse, which is like a surgical body wash that you would put on before you get a surgery. And it really kills bacteria. And so I use it like once a week

with my body wash. And it just gives me a net. I feel, listen, this is what porn stars use. And I'm like a retired porn star. It's very considerate of you. Thank you. Page is a very lucky woman.

Listen. Yeah. You can't be smelly. You can't be smelly on the job. Can't be smelly anywhere. You ever had, I mean, when somebody, when you get the fumes from someone big, oh my God, you feel like you're on the fuming show. It's just, you know, you're getting it from every angle.

You know, it's absolutely like the, I don't look at somebody lower than when they smell. Yeah. That's my, like, way worse than if you have bad breath. Bad breath, it's not great either. Right. but at least there's there's something. Maybe you're very thirsty. Maybe you're dehydrated.

Maybe it's a one day thing. If you smell, this isn't a one day thing, Josh. You're Mr. Smelly. And if you smell and I can see your pit stains completely through, you're smelly, bro. And if you're smelly, you're smelly bro.

You're smelly bro. So, I don't know. Get it together. Advice. Stop smelling. Switch your deodorant. If that doesn't work, shots in your armpit. I've heard that works for sweat glands, maybe even overactive sweat gland.

Maybe before gym class, you got to stop eating from the halal cart. Maybe that's why you're sweaty and smelly. Okay. Maybe it's just too much street meat. I don't know, but there's a reason that you're sweating this much. Maybe you just need to check that out. By the way, speaking of street meat, our dear friends, the wonderful Brandon and Onica got married this weekend. I went to a wedding this weekend too. Wow, look at that. Saturday night and I don't think they'll mind me sharing. They did two very cool things. Their whole wedding was absolutely beautiful, so happy for them. The first thing was, you know, the CBS Radford lot in the valley, you know, a famous lot where shows like Seinfeld, King of Queens, everybody loves Raymond was was recorded and other less famous shows like

grandfathered with me and John Stamos one season. But they have, like many studios, have a New York street because you have these New York-based shows that are shooting in the sound stages. And if they need to do an exterior, they basically have one street that's, you know, maybe 100 yards long, and it looks like you're in New York. So it's got the storefronts, it's got brownstones or whatever.

So CBS Radford had this genius idea of on the weekends at Sitting Idol. We could host a wedding out here. Wow. Wow. So they had their wedding on New York Street. on CBS Radford, which was so darn cool. And then they did something else super cute and smart, which was they were like, you know,

wedding can kind of, unless it's at a beautiful carbone wedding, can kind of be hit or miss. So why don't we pick some of our favorite food? So they got AVQ, ready? Schoarma, trauma. Okay, so you got in line. They gave you a beautiful lafah.

They did chicken schwarma, pita, lamb shwarmah, pita. humus, salad. The food was awesome and you didn't feel like gross and just like way too full. It was perfect. It was well done.

Brandon and Anika Mazaltov your beautiful wedding. So it was food trucks? No, it was like they had the restaurant come and set up. And so then it was like buffet style, but the restaurant cooked everything. So it didn't taste like super,

you know, just like a mass marriott, you know, type. That's a fun idea. Having like five different restaurants that you really like, come and do, whatever. They, very interesting. Very interesting. Okay, this is a fun. Maybe we should save it for next episode. Let's save it for Monday's episode. Let's talk about,

obviously we had beautiful weddings and we were so lucky. But if we were to marry different women, I'm kidding. No. If you had to redo your wedding now 10 years later, what's the wedding you would do now? Let's talk about that on Monday's episode. And that's why you should stay tuned. Gotta Woody You Nuts.

I do, folks. Our What Do You Nuts moment is our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and tall, whatever's sticking in your craw. John, I had a very, very bizarre experience last night. I went to Second Avenue deli. Okay. Okay. Love it. Order a pastrami sandwich.

Ruby loves a mushroom barley soup. He's such a Jewish king. And I went. This is a very modest order, especially for me. Josh, I ordered a diet, Dr. Brown's Black Cherry, a hop, a strami sandwich. Great. And I wanted a side of coleslaw. The waitress looks at me, and she's like, you know, the additional coleslaw is 995.

No. They really kill you on the sides. So why don't you just have the health salad? And I said, you know, I was thinking to myself, you know, like, yeah, $9.95 is a lot. but the health salad isn't coleslaw. The health salad which you give me is it's basically Jewish kimchi. And it's a free cabbage.

It's free. It's free. It's free. But she didn't offer to, I just said no, okay, I'll just do the pastrami sandwich. It wasn't,

no, don't order the coleslaw. The side is expensive, but I can give you like a little side or something for less. It was just don't order the coleslaw. Totally shamed not to order the coleslaw. So I had no,

coleslaw. So there are two what do you nuts is. Woody and nuts on the restaurant for charging 9.95 for a side of coleslaw. It should come with coleslaw. It's a pastrami sandwich. The sandwich comes naked with nothing? Russian. That's it. And sour pickles and healthslaw. That's free.

That's free. That comes with everything. Naked. How much is this pastrami? Let me guess. $23. At least. And let me tell you it was delicious. So they're wrong on the Kohl-Slaw. But she, no, don't get it. It's too expensive. Give me an alternative. What do you mean?

I can't come to a deli and get Kohl-Slaw. I am Kohl-Slaw. Fuck, does that grind my fucking gears? I am Kohl-Slaw. Does that grind my gears? You are Kosovo, Ben? I am Kohl-Slaw. Like, I can't get Kohl-Slaw. Listen, we all know the hierarchy of deli sides, okay? It is a given that it comes with a small side of either potato salad and Koso, which honestly no one wants either of those things we all want the fucking steak fries and that's a dollar 50 upcharge you fucks and if it wasn't our people i would be even more angry literally just this big sell me something this big it can be the size of a dime i just want a little i like to put a little on the corner i put some russian i put a little coleslaw this health salad it's nuts it's good for

it's a prebiotic i'm not at second avenue deli for a prebiotic so everybody's nuts This is nuts A $30 sandwich $25 sandwich And not even a little Nothing side of some And then God forbid I wanted to spend the money

I'm shamed My Woody You Nuts Moment of the week is I was driving And I saw a license plate holder That said I stink at fantasy football Last Place Which was clearly

The Retribution that came From someone who lost Their Fantasy Football League And now has to be ashamed As they drive around What are you nuts? Fantasy football is, what are you nuts? We're on a spinning rock of nothingness,

and you're just using this to bide your time before the inevitable. Okay? This is unimportant. Fantasy football is a big, what do you nuts? I'm glad you've been able to fill up your days with something that feels like you matter, but you don't, and this doesn't matter either. I couldn't agree more. It's a waste of time.

Do you not have a family? Do you not have work? Yeah. Do you not have, like, a productive hobby? Like, people will say, oh, it's a hobby. It's like, it's really not. No. Like, you're, like, learning the statistics of football players your age.

It's cute when you're 12 and they're 30. It's not cute when you're 34 and they're 30. Yeah, you're, you got to go to your draft. It's not cute. It's not cute. And by the way, calling it a draft, what an insult to our troops. Idiot.

You're an idiot. Folks, this episode's five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Listen to us wherever get your podcast. Watch us on Spotify, the video. My God, that episode with Terry Dubrow, I've never seen more views. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Wow. What a beautiful episode. Folks, Mondays and Thursdays. We will see you next time.