Good Guys - Jared Freid: My Parents Think Therapy Is a Scam

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Mazel Morons! This is not déjà vu all over again. Our pal Jared Freid is BACK to tell us all about his new Netflix special The Family Plan, the inner workings of Netflix deals, Jared’s rider at co...medy clubs, and are we allowed to make fun of Stephen Hawking now? Then, Josh caddying for his son, Belt to Ass Energy, people calling themselves chief, and awkward moments getting recognized in public.  What are ya nuts?! Love ya! Write us! Send your messages to goodguyspodcast1@gmail.com  Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Hair Loss,, and more, visit Hims.com/goodguys. If you want to try Momentous Signature Spec Creatine, head to livemomentous.com and use code goodguys for up to 35% off your entire first order. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to Quo.com/goodguys. Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. Right now, Arya is offering our listeners $10 off your first month at GETARYA.COM/GOODGUYS. This offer is only for our podcast listeners so use my link to get this discount. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at DRINKAG1.com/GOODGUYS. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys. They're not the great guys. We're just good guys.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Monsomorans, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. The great Jared Freed is here. My favorite comedian, he's got a new special out on Netflix, and he needs you to watch bad. It's great to be here. You guys are real friends. I appreciate it. I'm in a time of need.
Starting point is 00:00:46 I just need you to go just watch. Because I think anyone who listens, let me go into sales mode, then I'll shut the fuck up. I just need to set the stage. Jared wasn't supposed to come on today. It was just supposed to be a solo. I was driving here over the George Washington Bridge.
Starting point is 00:01:01 I squinted it up. I'm like, Oh my God, is that Jared? Is he going to jump? Don't jump! Come on the pod! So he came down, he hopped in my car. We're going to be okay.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Thank you. This has been a big two weeks of press for Jared. There's a point where you talk about yourself so much. And the press really started with me coming in here. You really did pick me up off the street. I was just having coffee downstairs. And I wasn't supposed to come on. You were like, yeah, you'll get on to promote the special.
Starting point is 00:01:30 And I was like, and then you're like, come up now. and you'll do it again. I have not stopped talking about myself for literally three weeks. And people think, oh, if you talk about yourself, you like it. No, I don't like it. I just want people to go watch the special because if you're in for 10 minutes, you're in for the whole hour. And if you listen to this show, you're going to love it.
Starting point is 00:01:50 And you should watch it with your parents and your brother and your sister and the cousin you smoke weed with during Rojasana. This is a Rocha Shana special for the whole family for Gentiles. and guys alike. So you can all watch it and enjoy it. And it's a one hour story about going to the beach with my parents. And my dad asked me how much did I weighed in 2018?
Starting point is 00:02:11 And I spent an hour talking about my body issues and my parents and their food. And it's a one story show. So you got to watch from the beginning of the end. And at the end, you can see my parents. I put it in cameras in the car. You can watch them. And I'm just turned into a bad person.
Starting point is 00:02:26 When you want some, when you're pushing for something, I now hate myself. Like, people will send me, like because there's a part about being on my parents' cell phone plan still. And so now people send me like a viral video about like a pilot yelling at his kid who's also a pilot who's on the family plan. And I'm like, and the message is like directly to me and no messages before that about like, hey, love the special.
Starting point is 00:02:47 And I'm like, just watch a fucking special. It's like they're trying to connect with me. And I'm like, I don't want to connect with you. I don't care about this video that's doing better than my special. Go watch it. It's on Netflix. You have the account. You cost you zero.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Go watch it. I'm a bad person. So go watch it. Jared's very stressed. The double espresso isn't going to help him. He's going to be dead by the end of this episode. Not at all. Can we get the residuals?
Starting point is 00:03:10 If you die now here, I tried to resuscitate you. Okay. But this coffee could hit you sideways. Got me gone. Who gets the proceeds? Because this thing's going to the moon. We get a little cut. There's no proceeds.
Starting point is 00:03:22 It's Netflix. Right. Thank you. We get nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing. What proceeds? Josh knows the industry.
Starting point is 00:03:28 This is a thing. It's over. This is over. got paid. And he probably had to spend it all on the special. Thank you. I, no, I got paid. I made it for $100,000, got paid, they licensed it for two years, and they give you $220. Right. That's the deal everybody gets. $2.20. That's the number. Unless they make it with you. They didn't make it with me. So I made it myself, then license it to them. Listen, I'm giving you the nuts and bolts here. By the way, and then this is good. Yes, the nuts and bolts. People want to hear this.
Starting point is 00:04:01 And people think, oh, do you get a penny of review? No, I get you, my bet that I'm making, again, you go $120,000 is a lot of money. No, I had to spend, you got to spend money on PR. So I got a PR company. So like, add that in. Plus, I split it with betches. Betches I brought in as a producer. Those bitches.
Starting point is 00:04:21 The betches who I love and I work with. I love the betches, but they, the business play I made as well, at a minimum, they'll push it. They'll, you know, to their audience. So I'll have a huge media company behind it with their power of finding people. And the bet I'm making, so now I'm down to 60,000. Okay, fine. You go, oh, minus the PR people. Whatever that is, I'm putting back into it because I truly believe in myself as a stand-up.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Like I, I, Josh is at the show. Taxes? I'm just letting you know. Right. You made no money. You made nothing. I didn't make, right. I'm going to go home with.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Nothing. Nothing. Right. And you know what? This is the only podcast I did all the financial podcasts. I'm getting into the nuts and balls with you guys more than I have anybody. What's most important, Jared, is that when people watch it, which they've watched it and they love it, it's then all about the next one. Well, this is.
Starting point is 00:05:20 The next one's not 100 to 220, right? The next one, you hope that they then say, oh, this is so good. We're going to make it with you, right? That's the goal. That's the investment I'm making. And I believe it. And I would say to anyone who wants to be a comedian or wants to make their own special, you better love the material you made because I love this material. It's about my parents, it's about family. You know, I consider it like an episode of Seinfeld where I do think for Jewish people, like I'm not trying to exclude people. And this is probably stupid of me to say because then everyone go, oh, it's only for Jews. It's for everybody. It's made to make you feel like it works on different levels. So like it's about my parents. It's about your parents. You know, it's about all our parents. It's like. And so, now I'm doing a whole act on the road. I'm on the road doing a new hour with a new story.
Starting point is 00:06:04 And right, like you said, the goal is to get the next special. You know, like I hope, but then, you know, I'm face to face with I might be wrong. Do you know what I mean? Like I, you know, when you make an investment, when you try something, when you push for something, you're putting yourself out there in a way that like, like I'm affected by every negative comment. I'm affected by, I am so affected and I hate it. Like I wish I wasn't that way. But like you think once you get to Netflix Mountain, the peak, you go, nothing will hurt me.
Starting point is 00:06:37 But here I am. Hurt. Very hurt. Very hurt. I have a good story about the betches. So it's 2016. I love these betches. I love them.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Shout out. They're my business partners. I love them. They're sisters to me. They're the best. And I've done the pods. And so it's 2016. I hadn't met them.
Starting point is 00:06:57 And so we're all on a. brand trip in Cancun, Mexico. We're launching a show for, I don't know, TBS, TNT, one of these networks, right? And this is how smart these betches are. It was, we all arrived Friday morning, and then Saturday, we all had to leave. And we're there, and it's, you know, maybe we got there Thursday, right? So we're there Thursday. Then it's Friday.
Starting point is 00:07:20 And now we're there Saturday. Everyone's getting ready to go. And I look at the betches. They're just settling in. They're ordering drinks. They're getting their dinner ordering. I said, Batchez, we're leaving. You got to get on the butts.
Starting point is 00:07:30 It's time to go. They go, we told them we're religious. Can't fly on Saturday. Get that Sunday buff. That's hilarious. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm going to tell that to Trinada.
Starting point is 00:07:51 She's going to hear it. I know. I'm going to see her in like an hour. That is so. They squeeze an extra night. That's amazing. That's the shrewd business women I want to work with. That's who I'm working with.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I'm proud of that. I love that shit. Are you kidding? That's so funny. The only bad part is like, you know, the lunch come. They're like, okay, who got the kosher meal? They're like, oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:08:17 You're going to play this to the end. We can't, if you can't fly Saturday, you also can't have the chukkot. You know, the chukes out. You're missing out on the burger. It's a cheeseburger. That's so fucking funny. They're the best. Yeah, that is, that's how shrewd they are as business women.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Jared, are you going through that typical, now the specials out, that depression that I've heard comes with like the, what do I do with myself? This is, yeah, this is, what do I do with myself and did it? All of this for what? You know, I genuinely just want to go on the road and do stand-up. Like, I want to do my podcast. I want to do stand-up. and I just want to like disappear. Like I want to like give my hot takes and have fun.
Starting point is 00:09:01 And you know, you know, as you guys know, like the landscape keeps changing. So you have to keep evolving. And it's like you don't have to. And it's also so close to being over. Like this moment in time, try and cherish it. It will be over. Right. Or you know it.
Starting point is 00:09:16 And the truth is, regardless of how successful you think it is. Right. It 100% exposed millions of more people to you. you will sell more tickets, you will sell more books, you will sell more everything. It's funny, you know, you can probably sit in great fucking seats
Starting point is 00:09:35 at the Nick game. That's a big deal. I can't do that. You can probably sit Celebrity Row. I have a, you have a comedy special on Netflix. I've been there before. I've seen the mountaintop of Celebrity Row
Starting point is 00:09:46 at the MSG and it is a, the air is sweeter up there. It is much. But it's funny, it's like you're saying like sell tickets. It is really truly, like, I just want to, like, keep the ride going. You know, like, that's the hardest part is I feel I'm in Prevent Defense.
Starting point is 00:10:02 And I think anyone who has a career that they love doing that they, like, fight to do. And you go, oh, I just don't want to lose this. You know, I just want to go and, like, I don't, I love going to a comedy club and doing five shows. And then, like, walking out of the weekend, being like, I got the new bit. I met some fans. I did the shows. I feel value through that, you know. Grateful people have a great life.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Yeah, that's a good person. You're a very grateful person. I am. You're grateful for you have. Josh and I spoke about this earlier. We did another Rush Ashana. All we do is Russia Shun episodes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:36 You're a Russian Shun guest. And I said that for the new year, I just want more of the same. And I mean it. Yeah. I'm very grateful. More of the same. I just want more of the same. And the fact that you love what you do and you keep doing it, there is nothing in this world where
Starting point is 00:10:48 everything is on your fucking phone. There's nothing like in real person experiences. And the fact that you have the gift of gab, you can get up there. You can shit. shake your fucking ass. I do shake it. I shake that ass. You're going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Yeah, that's fair. You're right. You know you're on Mel Robbins. We can also talk about SSRIs or we can talk about. What's at SSRI? Josh, SSRIs? You're Yid and you don't know what SSRIs are. They teach us about it in Hebrew school.
Starting point is 00:11:13 What is a selective serotonin. Oh, antidepressants. Yeah. Are we on it? Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, my boy, Prozac, Zola. See, it's funny. I don't have that in my book. You know what's funny?
Starting point is 00:11:28 My girlfriend and my brother's wife were both talking to my parents about therapy and my parents were like, it was like they were talking Chinese to them. They literally, they go, that's nice. Because there's no relation to therapy in literally like generations of my family. My dad goes, my mom goes,
Starting point is 00:11:51 well, I did it once and, you know, it's fine. It's fine. They like didn't even know how to handle. And it was funny. It was like, you know, parents of sons is just a different ballgame than parents of daughters, I think. For sure. And I was watching two women who have sisters, like my girlfriend and my brother's wife, both with sisters, full, all women in the family. And they're just talking to my parents as if they would talk to their parents.
Starting point is 00:12:18 But I'm like, no, no, no, no. They are not tiptoeing around you. They are not going to. you know, be able to have the seance you want about therapy. My parents are like, cool. Hope it's good with your cuckoo doctor. So we're going to play golf now, right? And we're going to eat food.
Starting point is 00:12:43 And we're going to have the diet snacks because we all have issues with our bodies, right? And you're going to feel better. Right. And it's going to be fine. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Aria. Folks, when was the last time you spice things up in the bedroom? For me, it was this morning.
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Starting point is 00:14:17 so use my link to get its discount. Get G-E-T-A-R-Y-A-A-R-Y-A. com slash good guys for $10 off your first month. That's get aria.com slash good guys. This episode of the good guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Momentus. Folks, I first started taking creatine for the mental benefits. Now I know what you're thinking, Ben, what are you nuts? Get off your booty and go to the gym.
Starting point is 00:14:43 It's not about that. Creatine isn't all about gains, bro. It's also good for your brain. It makes you feel better, think sharper. He can't explain it unless you try. You just have to try it. But now, okay, I'll take it also when I go to the gym once every two weeks. My dad, he goes to the gym twice a week.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Are you kidding me? Set him up with a personal trainer and my God, that guy, he's a stallion. So he takes creatine for the gym and for his brain. Josh takes creatine. I mean, he goes to the gym, what, 14 times a week for the gym and for his brain. Creatine is one of the most researched and effective supplements available. but as the category has exploded, most brands focus on flavor formats and marketing
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Starting point is 00:15:48 Josh's been using Momentus. Everybody who's anybody is using Momentus. And if you want to try Momentus signature spec creatine, head to Live Momentus, L-I-V-E-M-O-M-M-E-M-O-M-M-E-N-T-O-U-S. Dot com and use promo code Good Guys for up to 35% off your entire order. That's LiveMomenus.com, promo code Good Guys, for up to 35% off your entire order. LiveMemmENTIS.com, promo code Good Guys. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends. at Quo, folks, you know that feeling when you're juggling five things at once in your phone
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Starting point is 00:17:02 So you never miss a lead, even when your team is offline. Quote integrates with the tools your team already uses like HubSpot, Zapier, Claude, and more, helping you save time, stay organized and spend less time chasing information between systems. We don't have time. money's on the line. Always say hello with quo. Try quo for free plus 20% off your first six months when you go to quo, quo.com slash good guys. That's quo. QUO dot com slash good guys. So you had more of like a waspy old school approach with the Jewish parents. Yeah, I don't we always just never had that like take the depressants even though like listen I'm sitting here. I'm like you do you boo. Like I'm
Starting point is 00:17:46 You know, take whatever you got to take. I'm the same. Yeah. You know, but I also go, I don't know from it. And I don't have the, I was never kind of jugeed in that way. And listen, there's good from it. I also think there's a little, you know, there can be a dependence on it and a dependence on saying you want to take it or having that kind of in your vocabulary. I think sometimes, again, I'm getting into like, you know, speech that probably isn't that great.
Starting point is 00:18:15 but you go, I don't know, I go, listen, I don't take a Tylenol, you know, like, because I'm always like, I'll be fine. And there's bad to that. I should probably take a Tylenol. There's not. There's not bad to it. I don't really think of the option. I've never, like when you said SSRI, I literally had no idea what you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:18:31 That means that you are truly a millennial. Like, it really has become, I don't know if you agree with this, Josh or not. And you know that I'm very pro these meds. If one needs it, no question. And I think a lot of people do need it. It has become. almost popular, it would seem amongst Gen Z's to really take it and talk about it. Well, let me take it from a less volatile. Let me make it less volatile because I think
Starting point is 00:18:57 I'm too, am I volatile? No, no, no, no, but the meds get into a, okay, okay, the meds get into a morality that I don't want to get into because I don't, I don't feel that way. I don't feel I look down on someone on the meds. I would say when it comes to the language, you see a lot of men saying, well, I'm in therapy on their dating apps. And that's a version. of this. Like that's the, you know, the speak of like, oh, because a guy's in therapy, he's now okay and going to be a good boyfriend. Like that, that does not, one does not mean the other. No, it means he's gay. What are you? My dad, that's the conversation with my girlfriend. What do you go to therapy
Starting point is 00:19:33 to have anal? Like, what do you? Ben, Ben just pours water all over the food in the middle of the table. We're done. We're done. Enough. Therapy. Enough. My dad. My dad. Dad's pouring water on a therapist. He pours water on you. Enough. Cool off, mister. Dad, I'm doing this thing called BetterHelp. Honey, get the hose.
Starting point is 00:19:58 He's getting a little hot. Yeah. It's, you know, it's like my journey with it was that I'm, you know, sober 19 years. I've done all the, or almost 19, I've done all the therapy. I've done all the fucking cold plunges and schvitzing. I lost 100 pounds. I freaking, you know, workout six days a week. I've done all the things.
Starting point is 00:20:18 And I think when I finally started taking stuff, it was because three or four years ago, I was like, I should feel better than this. I've really done the leg work. Right. I'm doing it all. How am I not having the win here? Where's the win?
Starting point is 00:20:33 I can understand that. And I think people do it in reverse, and that's not as good of a way to do it in most cases where it's like they start with the medicine. And they go, yeah, yeah, I'll do all the work on myself and the hard work later. It's like maybe try that first. And then if that doesn't give you the results you want,
Starting point is 00:20:50 then look to get a little bit more help. That's an interesting perspective because I stopped drinking a little more than a year ago. And I was like, and it was really like, let me stop for a month to see how I feel. And then stop for a month. And I did feel better. I also was like thinking of my now girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Like she was my ex-girlfriend at the time. And I was like thinking of her. And I was like, let me stop drinking and maybe I'll stop thinking of her. And then I stopped drinking and I didn't. And then I kept rationalizing, well, let me do this. Let me do that. But I did keep off drinking because I was like, oh, the sleep is better.
Starting point is 00:21:25 You know, I like I like I never wanted to call my drinking a problem because I was like, I never felt that it like affected my life in that way. I didn't want to put the pressure on it. And now even with like the special coming out, I kind of think back. I had the last special come out in 2023. And that kind of like started me like going out to drink at night because I was like, I just need to not think about this anymore. And I'm like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Well, now I'm like seeing now being off of alcohol, it took me going, oh, okay, you were using it in that way that might not be the right way. Now, have you ever tried magnesium glistenate? No, but I could. One pill, Josh. magnesium glistenate at night, your thoughts, silent. Is that the same thing? Well, that was like when, like, Wes and Amanda were on the reunion.
Starting point is 00:22:17 They're like, what was the thing they were on? Definitely not magnesium glistenate. This you can buy it, Dwayne Reed. This is like regular. No, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's blood pressure meds. Ben, that happens for you because you're normal. Magnesium for me is like shooting a water gun at the Palisades fire.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Try it. I'll give you a shot. I'll give you a vial. Give you a vial. No, no. I'll give you a fucking injection. I'll give you a whatever. That's like what someone comes to do with peptides.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Have you met the peptides people? Of course. What do you mean? We're on with a peptide person. Talk shit. Go for it. I love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:22:54 I listen. I have no, listen, the people who love peptides. It's who. By the way, you know, just so you know, you know that you're on a peptide. Am I?
Starting point is 00:23:03 Yeah. Is that what a GLP one is? Yeah. Oh, I had no idea. Well, I'm just happy I didn't know because I don't want to be the peptide guy. GLP ones are the most popular peptide in history. Oh, I didn't even know. The definition, let me know if I get this right, Josh.
Starting point is 00:23:17 A peptide is something that takes something that already exists in your body and supercharges it. Oh, okay. So, GLP1, we naturally produce GLP ones. Oh. And this just fucking pushes it out, right, Josh? I didn't even do it for anything? Yeah, it's an amino acid. So I think, Josh, if you're-
Starting point is 00:23:36 Is that that doesn't help us? Well, it's the amino acid, yeah. We're at the same place we just went. What do you? Josh, I don't read. I love that both of you went to college and I had my childhood stolen from me and did not go to school past ninth grade and you don't know what an amino acid. You had more time to read, Josh. We were at parties.
Starting point is 00:24:00 We had birthday parties. We had keggers. Ben minored in chemistry. You minored in chemistry? Yeah, I was just like so distracted. I took organic chemistry at NYU. Everyone's hair was fucking purple. I couldn't focus.
Starting point is 00:24:16 I quit. I quit. That is so, look at Josh left us. He was like, I'm done. Fuck them in there. Here's the procturing on the air conditioning. Here's what. Here's what Josh needs to do for the peptide community.
Starting point is 00:24:28 You need to stop letting the people to the front who are in the front with it. They all look like they just got back from Burning Man. and bought a new hat at Kimosabe. Like there is not every, every single one of the peptide people that are like, you got to do it. I'm like, you're someone I would take Coke from, not this.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Like, I don't think you're helping my life. Like, it's like, but I just think if we had, like, we need some nerds at the front. We need to introduce Jared to Dr. Terry Dubrow, Josh. Are you familiar with Mr. Terry? I don't know. Anytime you hear the first name in front of the doctor,
Starting point is 00:25:06 Oh, it scares me. Dr. Terry Dubrow, it's never Dr. Dubrow. Dr. Terry Dubrow, that's a guy that's like, you got to meet him. You got to see what kind of chiropractor this guy is. You got to meet him. He wears like, he wears like the hot doctor outfit. Oh, he's hot. You got to meet him.
Starting point is 00:25:23 I knew it. He's so hot. And he is, though, he is rich and amazing. Sick at his job, his wife, former real housewife, Heather Dubro. He's come on the podcast. Okay. Very smart guy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:35 and thinks about peptides in a different way. He agrees. Listen. Don't buy it from Joe Schmoe, who's selling it to you at the gym. I don't want to get my Botox and my peptides at a place where I get my teeth cleaned. I think that's reasonable. I think that's a reasonable. Jared doesn't want an upsell.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Yeah, no. I just also don't want to receive a package with a toothbrush in it after I've had injections into my body. Yeah. It's like the kosher restaurant that's a. burger place, but they also serve sushi. Right. Like, you can't do it all. It's like, relax.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Right. Okay. Relax. It's not. We can't be all things. You can't be all things. Right. You do a burger and fries?
Starting point is 00:26:16 Great. Add in a chicken piccata. Jared, I got to ask because I love this life. And Ben, you're going to like this line of questioning. So you're, you know, you're a road dog. We know you're doing theaters now. That's right. On the days when you were doing like the hilarities and Temecula, Friday, Saturday night, two shows.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Yep. Okay. The helium and, you know, Chattanooga. Still doing them. Back in the day. Back in the a week ago. Back in the month from now when I'm at, hey everybody, when does this come out?
Starting point is 00:26:50 Monday. Batavia, Illinois. I'll be in Batavia, Illinois. That's fun. I do like these rando towns. Like I do enjoy, like, you do feel like you're hiding away from the world. You're working on, like, no one can bother you. You can do your bits.
Starting point is 00:27:05 You can mess up. There's something, it used to be you go to New York to mess up. And now here there's, you know, I go to the cellar and I feel a lot of pressure at the seller. When I go on the road, I feel like I can like, I have a little bit of leeway to like give some shots, take some chances. But yeah, go ahead. So before you were on the GLP, right?
Starting point is 00:27:23 Yes. So you're there and it's in between, you know, it's either you're done with the show or you're in between the first show and the second. Yeah. And they give you the bar. I know they say whatever you want. any bar food you want. What are we ordering?
Starting point is 00:27:37 What does a good order look like at the comedy club? Beautiful Josh. It's a great question. Here's what I used to have. Okay. My rider before GLP1 land used to be protein bars and it used to be protein bars. By the way, the fattest people I know won't shut up about protein. That's right.
Starting point is 00:28:04 The fattest people I know. It's unbelievable. Yeah, fat people love a protein bar as close to a candy bar as you can get. Literally. And they love a full fat, big container of fire. That's me. So protein bars, my rider was protein bars and absolute citron. Wow.
Starting point is 00:28:23 It was a very Jewish mother from the 90s order. And I used to, basically, I'd get done with, like, my first show on a Friday night and have a second show coming and I'd be like, okay, I'll eat my protein bar between the two shows, but and I'll have my first drink between the first, the first and second show. So one drink, I've gotten the first show done. Let me get on a level with the audience a little bit. Absolutely sit around the rocks with a lime. And I'd be like, look at me skinny mini. And then I'd go, let me just see the menu. The old, let me just see what they got. And then it would be the chicken finger bites that were like dipped in whatever Asian sauce they had at the club.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Extra fried, extra sauce. Unbelievable. Also getting the chips and salsa because I was convincing myself that wasn't so bad. And then the pretzel with the pub cheese. That would be my order. And I would pick at it after I had the protein bar while telling myself the protein bar, is at least taking up space to my stomach. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:38 So if I had that in between shows, I'd be asleep before the second show. Right. That's the risk you were taking is that you're going on stage. That was what held me back. What slowed me down was the idea that like, you got to go on for an hour. And like,
Starting point is 00:29:52 and the Friday night show specifically, late show Friday night on a comedy club weekend is known as like the worst show of the weekend. It's the one that you're going to have problems. Because they're blackout the girls? It's, everyone's blackout, but also they woke up with weekday hours and they're going to bed on weekend hours. So you're like, you think you can push it and you're going to a show that starts at 9.30. You went to dinner before.
Starting point is 00:30:18 You had a bottle of wine with your wife or your boyfriend. You go to the show, you go, we're fine. Now you're in for a two drink minimum. You're having hard liquor after you had the bottle of wine. You just get the insanity. I had a show, Jacksonville, this woman. legitimately just was like talking to me as if we were having a personal conversation. And I'm in a room of like 30 people in Jacksonville in a room that looked like every line
Starting point is 00:30:47 of cocaine ever had been done there. Like it was like it's the Jacksonville Comedy Zone. It's behind a, it's in a Ramada. It's behind a steak and shake. It is like, and it's funny because you guys know the audience of this show and your audience of this show is also partly the audience of my show. Yes. And to watch these Jewish women walk into a place that looks like roadhouse in the back
Starting point is 00:31:14 of a steak and shake. Because you brought them there. I brought them there. They've never been there before. They've driven by it and gone, who would ever get off the highway here? So there, and they're walking and going and you can, it's like an aunt being invited there because I do feel close with the people who like our stuff. I feel familiar with them.
Starting point is 00:31:34 And being on this show, like, I really feel like I'm speaking to one girl at home who's listening to this. And I feel very comfortable talking to her. And I'm saying to her, when she comes, she's like, and I take pictures afterwards. And they're like, is this where you go? Is this where you are? And I can feel them in the audience as bad things are happening because you're at a comedy club. It's mixed with everybody. I'm there to perform for everybody.
Starting point is 00:32:01 I don't care who you are. But I see the people that are specifically the good guys, Jared Freed, familial toast, Bech's audience. And there was a woman in the crowd and she's talking to me. And I just see the people that are like, are people just like tensing up. They're getting anxious. They want the SSRI right away. And literally this woman, she's like, and at one point I said something and she got so mad. And she goes, I didn't like what you said about Asians.
Starting point is 00:32:32 And I go, I didn't say anything wrong about it. And some guy goes, he's a comedian. He can say what he wants. And I go, no, no, no. You're making it sound like I said something bad about Asians. I didn't say anything bad about Asians. I like what he did the thing with his eyes. No, no, I didn't do that.
Starting point is 00:32:53 Simultaneously helping and making it worse. Right, exactly. And I'm going, I didn't do anything with my eyes. I swear. And then the woman is. That's funny. thing you've ever said. Literally she gets up and I go, what did I say
Starting point is 00:33:08 about Asians? And she goes, think about the body with Asians. I have a part of my new set. It's literally the dumbest joke of the world. I say, I want, my body goals are the body of an older Asian man. I'm saying it just looks like older Asian men are very comfortable in their clothing and they have fun and they drink alcohol. And I go, that's the body
Starting point is 00:33:26 I want. It's literally like, it's not even like a trope. It's not even like I'm saying Jews are cheap, which would be like, you don't, you don't even need to explain this. Right. By the way, I love the body of an Asian person in general. They have a very, they typically have very good relationships with food. Very good relationship with food and an admirable relationship with food.
Starting point is 00:33:44 And they seem to be eating what they like to eat and not really like. So again, we're speaking in generalities, but I, I, I have a part of the joke. I go, I go, and I even say, I go, it doesn't even look like they're working out that hard. I go to the park. guy just waving around. And I'm like, oh my God. And I'm working on a bit about it. I'm like, oh, he's waving around.
Starting point is 00:34:09 I wish I could do that. I'm doing a hit workout. Like this guy's, you know, this guy's a tree in the wind. And I'm like, so like that's the bit. And she's going, I didn't like what you said about Asians. And I'm like, I'm just seeing people get uncomfortable. I go, listen, maybe it's. And she's walking out.
Starting point is 00:34:24 I go, I go, you're okay to go. You can go as I'm watching all the Jews like huddle onto each other. Like, please don't hurt us. And then she goes, I'm telling my cousin Joseph. And I go, Joseph. She goes, Joseph Koi, my cousin's Joe Koy. Oh, great. And I go, what on earth do you think Joe Koi, if he could, would take away from me?
Starting point is 00:34:53 Do you think, look where I am. I'm in a bar in the back of a Ramada. Do you think I've lost anything? Right. He would love the joke. he would also be like, what's he going to do? Look, the king of comedy, he's going to take away this. He's going to take away this orphanage that I'm performing in.
Starting point is 00:35:14 What's he going to do? How much lower can I get? I have 30 people here on a Friday. What are you telling me you going to tell Joe Coy on me? Joe Coy said, it's so far right now. I'm in an applebees. Right. What do you think it can get worse than this?
Starting point is 00:35:28 I've been doing this 16 years. Oh, my God. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Wayfair, folks. When we are designing this flex bedroom of ours, I wanted an office. Of course, I also wanted a place for out-of-towners to stay. And let me tell you, I found the most amazing, not only pull-out couch, but also desk on Wayfair. We wanted something that was beautiful. We wanted something that honestly didn't break the bank.
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Starting point is 00:40:36 I perform. It's bad. It's hot in here. It's bad. But, well, I once did a, I once did a podcast in shorts. I'll never forget it. My legs. Don't get me started.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Yeah, you can. I've been telling me. For years. Show us your feet. I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable. Okay. That, no, but that you don't have to see on camera if he doesn't show.
Starting point is 00:40:55 it. He could show his feet on his own thing. I have the fear of me too. What do you mean? No, you got to. You can't see me. You can't see me. I once wore shorts and I was like, I might have to hear from HR after this. Like my, the meat on the inside of my leg was just too much for even me. I have had that once where I wore these five inch in seams and it was basically like looking at my vagina. And those shorts I have retired from podcasting. Okay. Yeah. Those are two. much. That's the thing. You see that once. I see that once. I don't need to test any of a motor short. That said, do I look like Stephen Hawking? Can you see me? A little bit. That said, it's giving Stephen. This room is so fucking hot. It gets hot.
Starting point is 00:41:38 I know. I feel like right now in this room. I've been schvitzing the whole time. I think, like, I feel much better on the floor. They say heat rises. Yeah. It's a nicer down here. I'm going to get up again. But I'm happy. You know what I just realized? Stephen Hawking spells it pH. You know, as if he didn't have enough problems. You think just take away a letter, make it easier on yourself? Just do it the classical spelling. S-T-E-V-E, you know, not S-T-E-P.
Starting point is 00:42:07 By the way, in my head, I was like, what do you want to spell it? Stephen? S-T-E-F? No, yes, Stephen, for sure. Steven with a V. Stephen with a V. For sure. It's funny that Stephen Hawking, it's funny that what you get freed up to talk about.
Starting point is 00:42:21 That guy cheated on his wife, I think. He did. He totally. And he was on Epstein's Island. Okay, now it's like, now you're just allowed to make fun of them. Like, it went from like, oh, we're going to like kind of tiptoe around. You can't make it. Like the minute you cheat on your wife, you're like, okay, we all, we're good.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Yeah, we're good. Right. Jared, I hate to bring this up because I don't want to stir up trouble on the show. Uh-oh. But, you know, you were dragged through the mud by the Great Bend saw for months ago. And I'm sorry to bring this up again. Okay. We all know that you are a Delta loyalist.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Big Delta guy. Ben's thought it was a little Woody and Nuts that you, when offered a direct route with another airline would elect to take a connection to stay Delta true. Thoughts? It is, I'm leaning away from it. Listen, I can admit when I'm wrong.
Starting point is 00:43:16 I think you've got to go direct when you get it. And I'm only saying that. You know what makes you say that? I'm already diamond for next year. Wow. So like, now is the time to enjoy my life. It's like when you retire, stop it. Chill.
Starting point is 00:43:33 You worked your whole life for this. Take a minute. Go play gin. That's kind of what I need to do. I need to like be okay with the rest of the year, much like with the special. The special's out. I got to like be more of zen about it. You did what you could.
Starting point is 00:43:48 And now you're here. And when you're here, your family. And what? You're not going to promote it. This is what you got to do. Right. You get out there, you talk about the show, get more people to watch the show, but the show is amazing. And it's done.
Starting point is 00:44:01 It's over. This is what makes it all fun, like coming and hanging with you guys. Like, there's other podcasts you have to go on. And you're like, it's just this like mental thing of like, okay, what's the bit going to be? And I'm sure Josh gets this a lot where you walk into a room and you're like, what do I, what question that I've already answered a billion times? do I have to get over to be able to have like the fun I want to have. I just want to have fun. And I'm sure you get that with like they're going to have to harken back to like
Starting point is 00:44:33 whatever their childhood thing is. If you send me an email to be on your podcast and in the writing is your journey, I'm out. Right. No, I'm out. But I don't, I don't want to.
Starting point is 00:44:46 Right. I've talked about it enough a thousand times. I just want to come on to your playground and play the game you play. Well, that's why you are the ideal guest. We do get plenty of guests that come on. And they don't want to play the game. No, no, they want to be a comedian doing stand-up. No, it's especially, and I'll tell you, Jared, why you are one of one.
Starting point is 00:45:11 It's male comedians who are insecure about their ability in which to be funny in any arena. So they come in and they take over because they're like, no, no, no, you're going to come into my bit. And wow, does the audience turn on me? It made it so that our audience is like, please, God, no guests. Please just you too. But these people are so funny. We look up to them. They're amazing.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Sure. Huge comics. And they'll come on the show and they'll just, it's like what you're about to do at the seller. You're not doing here. That's what this is. It's two different things. But that's, you know, and I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:45:44 But I, that's like the hard part about, I think, like, you know, getting, going on a podcast to promote a standoff special. Like, it is different. You know, like, you're going into like a show that. I've spent two years putting together. Like, this is a hang. I hope someone loves this hang so much that they go, oh, let me see what it's all about.
Starting point is 00:46:03 They will. But I do think I can understand the insecurity of, like, if they don't know you guys. Like, I know, I knew coming here, I'm coming into Meshbocha. I can chill, we can talk. We'll figure it out. You look better than when you got here. Better. I feel more.
Starting point is 00:46:18 I feel better. You feel better? A little bit back to life? A little bit back to life. When you got here, I was like, my God. My Jared. I've been through the ringer. He's been through the ringer.
Starting point is 00:46:26 It's just time for me to go home. I'm ready to go home and just like... Go to the beach. Go to the beach. Relax. I played golf last weekend. You have a dog, right? I think you might need like a golden retriever for a week.
Starting point is 00:46:37 I just get one, have it run on the beach, right, Josh? Right. You know, one week dog. One week golden retriever off leash on the beach. You're going to throw the tennis ball, you know? Yeah. That's what you need for one week. That's it.
Starting point is 00:46:51 I think you're right. Because even in between this whole like press thing, I went with my parents. I told you, my parents, my brother, his wife, and my girlfriend. We all went to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin. And we went to like a golf resort. And I thought that would be like stressless. And it was really actually more stressful than like we, they were like, we had all six of us.
Starting point is 00:47:13 My dad's like, I want to play together. And I'm like. It's terrible. I'm like six people golfing. Like that's insanity. And no one wanted to split up. With your mom and Emily? Emily. Emily's just learning how to play. My mom on her phone buying things on Facebook marketplace while we're doing the thing. It's like it was a mess. A nightmare. Nightmare. That's a 14-hour day. I mean, how to six people get through? I just golfed for the first time. I was my son's caddy in Palm Desert. Really? Yeah. I just because I cannot play this game. I got enough issues in my life. I could not believe how boring this was. Big time.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Did your son love it? Yeah, my son's a good golfer. That's being as catty, do you feel like you're Earl Woods? Like you're like, that's like a very like cute. Get that picture. I mean, like, here's what you do. I've been thinking a lot about this. Now that I'm in a relationship, I'm looking for low, low cost, big reward things that I can do as a boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:48:19 And I think like I have one thing that I always do. Now, every time I go to Trader Joe's, $5 flowers in the front. Pick them up. That's nice. Just do that. Nice. Without thinking. I think if you got a picture framed of you caddying for your son, get it framed.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Next time you're feeling a little off with the wife, got you something. Give her the frame picture of you caddying for the son. That will go miles. It's a good idea, except all the pictures of me screaming at him for a shit short game. How many more strokes, Max? By the way, Max Beck is the name of a professional golfer. Yeah, you're right. We have a shot.
Starting point is 00:49:00 You're totally right. So yeah, we need that great picture, and I'm letting you know the $5 flowers, the Trader Joe's are great because you're not married. Once you are, my friend. They don't want it. They don't want that. Tell them about Valentine's Day. Tell me about Valentine's Day, Ben.
Starting point is 00:49:14 This was on me, though. This is what did you do? This is good. Fortunately, it happened on Shabbat. Is that because she can't post about it? It happened on Shabbat. So my phone was off. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Off. And my God, it's Valentine's Day. I completely forgot to get her flowers. Okay. Okay. So I go. I call a florist, secret delivery. $900 in roses.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Nine hundred. Big fucking huge. What's the difference between a $900 rose order and a $500 rose? Double the roses. The time of day you ordered. And double the roses. Okay. But yes.
Starting point is 00:50:03 And the fact that. So was it a whole car full of roses? How many roses? Oh, uh, no. I definitely got dinged for a large delivery fee. Right. You're getting the delivery fee. You're also getting the rose upsell of that, of Valentine's Day.
Starting point is 00:50:18 You got to, you know, you're paying a pre-examble. And then you're getting the fact that your wife found out that you did it same day and she hates it. Oh, no. Yeah. How did that get revealed to her? I think I told her. I don't know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:29 Secrets make you sick. Secrets make you sick. That's a secret. That's a secret. That's a secret. I'd be like, fine. This is a, I guess we'll put this on the list of lies. I'll have to explain on my deathbed.
Starting point is 00:50:43 Like, I'm going to start a list of lies that I'm okay with. That's one. It's a secret. I got a couple. I got a couple. Right. Those are lies. Those are deathbed lies.
Starting point is 00:50:54 Do you remember in 2026? Those were same day delivery. Yeah, totally. I'm going to have some things come out about me eventually and we'll live with it. And the pot will go on or it won't. But hopefully it'll survive. Yeah. Let's push it down the road.
Starting point is 00:51:14 We'll deal with that another day. Absolutely. My senior project. I did that in the last week before. it was due. I don't even know if I did it. I'm going to have a fun senior year. Jared, should we get into a quick story or should we get into one quick moron mail before what are you nuts? Let's do, I have a moron mail. You want a moron mail? Is that a moron mail? So we're going to answer from the morons. We're going to answer from the morons.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Moron mail. You got a good guys podcast, one at gmail.com. You send this in your questions. You send this in for advice. We don't want any of the what are you nuts as though. They're never I love the word moron and I love the word bozo. I think those are two two things to call someone and I that you're like, what a fun, what a fun and descriptive. You're a man who uses moron. Of course. Moron, that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Yeah. Bozo is really funny. This guy, what a bozo. A clown. A clown. Oh, it's unbelievable. Okay. For context, Josh, this moron male requires context.
Starting point is 00:52:17 I have a restaurant concept, an idea that I've thrown around. It's the Coldstone Creamery model. Okay. The cold stone, except there's tuna salad, chicken salad, and egg salad. You pick your protein. I'm then putting in pickles. I'm putting in relish. I'm putting pepper and chinis.
Starting point is 00:52:33 You're putting in mayo, mustard, whatever, mixing it up called just a scoop. It goes in either a cup or in a sandwich. Okay? Love it. Consider be an investor. People love it. Okay? Ready?
Starting point is 00:52:43 And by people, he means Jews. And John Taffer. There's going to be one fan. I think it's a good. Listen, Josh doesn't realize how much the Southerners love chicken salad. I'm still in. I'm still in. I'm an investor.
Starting point is 00:52:55 What is her name? Yeah, whatever. The chicken salad lady restaurant, I can't believe that's a sex. Chicken salad chicken salad chick is very successful. I would also say, considering the reason I think this works is, have you seen the Greek yogurt places? Yes. They operate in literally a Coke closet.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Yep. This restaurant could operate in a Coke closet. Small. Or not in any word. at all could just be a ghost kitchen but be but you want to see it like cold to see it i would want to see it i would yeah yeah i get it you're only need one cold stone josh you're going to love this okay i think a scoop concept is the that's the title i think this idea of a one scoop restaurant of chicken salad tuna salad etc is brilliant then we can add the mixins
Starting point is 00:53:37 and make it their own just like the salad bar type places like mad greens you could even do a chopped liver though i don't know if i'm a fan of messing up traditional chop liver with all of the add-ins. But anyways, this speak to text, and I'm at Starbucks, and people are looking at me. So time to go. I love that. Someone was behind them in Starbucks. Chop liver, can it get more Jewish?
Starting point is 00:54:03 You want to talk about my concepts too Jewish? She wants to do. She thinks that the mixins would mess up the chop liver. Imagine I opened the restaurant. Mixins chopped liver. Are you kidding me? Can I add to this idea? Yes.
Starting point is 00:54:14 You're not even thinking of the one thing that you like to. to add on to like to sell it, different types of mayo. Love it. You can have low fat, no fat, uh, regular mayo. You can have some sort of garlic mayo. Chapo-Chiroche, honey. Right, there's a lot of different, there's- Subway, pick your sauce.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Right, Jack. Yeah, I love this. Our Woody Nuts moment of the week is our gripes with people, places and things, both big and tall, whatever, sticking in yoke-rah. Are you guys ready for this? Yeah. I was walking past a bodega in, New York City and there was an advertisement for a new energy drink, Josh.
Starting point is 00:54:52 I Googled it. This is a real energy drink. This is not a spoof. Are you ready for the name of this new energy drink? Okay. Crystal meth. Belt to ass energy. Belt to ass.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Google it. Belt to ass energy. A real energy drink. Belt to ass. I'm a fan of, I'm a fan to ass to mouth. Yeah. But belt to ass. What are you nuts?
Starting point is 00:55:21 I couldn't believe it. Belt to ass energy. Do you know what their slogan is? But feel it. Live it. It's one of the dumbest. I was like, what are you, what do you think you're doing? Belt to ass energy.
Starting point is 00:55:38 It's real. You see it? Do you know belt to ass is a newer genre of or subgenre of drill music that has come up recently speaking on spanking ops and laying belt? No. I'm just reading Urban Dictionary. No, I was unaware, but belt to ass energy. What are you nuts?
Starting point is 00:55:58 That's nuts. I just, you know, no, what are you nuts to the investor? To the inventor, he has no investors. This is self-funded. If you get a pitch, are you investing in belt-to-ass energy? The only way belt-to-ass energy makes sense to me is if it's the product of some nepo baby billy. Sure.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Like it like it because no one's going to get in his way self-funded at that point I go power to you. Maybe it is. If you're the person that convinced others to invest in belt to ass you should win an award company that win an award you you should be selling something else 100% you would be a billionaire in something out like you're a good salesperson trust me nobody has this is sand to the Eskimos snow to the Eskimos right nobody's invested in Bell to Ass okay. Can you imagine bringing sand to Eskimos, they would be like, we have wanted to see this forever. Yeah, you could sell that pretty easily, I guess.
Starting point is 00:56:55 It would be very helpful, do it while we're slipping. A nice reprieve from ice, am I right? My would be in its moment of the week are people calling themselves chief of something? Like, oh, I'm the chief luxury officer. I'm the chief joy officer. for my company, honey, you're two people in a we work, okay? You're out of business in six to nine months. You're not the chief of anything.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Stop it. Yes. You're not the sea level of anything. Dahl. Stop it. This is something. These ancillary C suite titles are out of hands. This is like why Josh is joining from L.A.
Starting point is 00:57:37 This is like, I'm like, I want to hug New York City when I hear this. Like, because that feels very L.A. like just buffoonery. We unfortunately, we unfortunately have it here. We have Chief Hart officers. That's a real. What's that? That's instead of, that's rebranded HR.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Chief Heart officers? Yeah. I don't know. I'm so outside of the corporate thing. No, we've turned in too many chiefs. Josh, that's a wonderful one. Speaking of Chief, if anybody calls me Chief, okay? What's up, Chief?
Starting point is 00:58:11 If anybody calls me, Chief is actually Chief's fine, right? I'm okay with Chief. I hate Big guy. Yeah, big guy. People love one. Big guy, buddy. Buddy's the worst. Buddy's the worst.
Starting point is 00:58:22 Boss. Bra. What's up, bra? Man. I don't like man. Hey, man. By the way, bro. Bra, look, bra like is more of a poor reflection on the person saying it.
Starting point is 00:58:34 Okay. You know, Brad doesn't hurt me. It hurts me thinking about you who said it. You call me buddy. I'm throwing fists. Yeah. I don't want a buddy from not a buddy. I don't want a buddy from a buddy.
Starting point is 00:58:47 If you're a buddy, you can say bud. Hey, bud. Sure. Could be endearing. Buddy. And it's typically foreigners. I've only been called buddy by foreigners. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:58 And when you call me buddy, we're not buddies. We'll get there. Give it a buddy nuts. I have a what are you nuts. I'm at 12 chairs in Soho. Delicious. Love 12 chairs. It could go on and on about 12 chairs.
Starting point is 00:59:11 It's a restaurant for obese people. Yes. I'm getting down to six chairs. So I'm sitting outside having a nice dinner. I'm at 12 chairs. Love 12 chairs. Got nothing but good things to say about it. My girlfriend's like,
Starting point is 00:59:28 that guy over there is looking at you. And I go, well, that's nice of him. Maybe he's recognized me from the Good Guys podcast. It's possible. She goes to the bathroom. And then this guy comes up as being, goes, you Jason? And let me just say. Getting recognized is the best part of my day.
Starting point is 00:59:47 Because it's a compliment. If someone generally, people call it to you, they go, hey, love your stuff. Great to see you. Thank you. You know, nice to meet you. And I go, nice to meet you too. What's your name? And they go, I'm Richard.
Starting point is 00:59:58 And I go, I'm Jared. It's a pleasure. And we have a nice moment. Thank you. But this guy seemingly didn't want to do that. So instead, he came out to me and goes, Jason. And I am left with now the choice between. No, I'm not Jason.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Yeah, no. Or, well, maybe you're thinking of me of my comedy stylings from the upcoming Netflix special, The Family Plan. Have you seen my stuff? Like, no, I'm not going to do that. So I go, sorry, not Jason. And he goes, what do you say? Not Jason.
Starting point is 01:00:32 I thought you were Jason. And he's like waiting for me to hold his hand through this interaction. And I'm like, at that point, I'm not here for you. You recognize me from some, you could say, hey, man, I've seen your stuff on Instagram, I think. You could just say that and it would be a fine. You could have said, love you. Done. That's it.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Pound, love you. Hey, get to the point. If you want a picture, ask for a picture. Otherwise, this interaction is completely pointless. He goes, do you go to Camp Cedar? I go, I did. He goes, that's where I know. you.
Starting point is 01:01:15 Me and my brother over there. And then I look over, a guy waves. He goes, you know, we went to, went to Cedar 2. And I go, cool. Okay. And it's like, and he goes, I go, I'm Jared. And he goes, Jared. And I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 01:01:35 And I'm like, dude, you were so insecure. You couldn't just give me the win. of any kind. You don't know me from camp. We don't know each other from camp. You know me from, you know me from doing comedy so successfully that you realized, oh, and we went to the same camp. I can take you through how you know me. How about you just say, I know your stuff. And guess what? We also happen to go to the same summer camp. Good for us. Then we're having a fun fucking time, dude. That's all it is. It's so easy to be nice.
Starting point is 01:02:17 People are so dumb. It's actually more energy to put me through your insecurities. Yeah, we talk about it all the time. My girlfriend loves you. I get that all the time. I had another guy. I had another guy. I'm on the phone.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Literally, I'm on the street on the phone. Hey, everybody. It's a beautiful day out to watch a Netflix special. I'm trying to promote. I'm doing something that, like, obviously, I don't want to spend my day on Instagram stories. Hey, everybody. guy goes, hey, Jared Freed, I saw you on a show a bunch of years ago in the Upper East.
Starting point is 01:02:50 I go, thanks, man. He goes, so how's it going? I see you're still doing the content thing. Whoa. And then I literally, I had the, I had the shittery went through my veins. I had, I literally turned into Thanos putting on the glove. I go, and you can see my shit on Netflix, bitch. Hell yeah
Starting point is 01:03:15 Go and I said to I go Go on Netflix And you can watch more of my content That I make Yes And then he goes Okay cool man Crazy guy
Starting point is 01:03:26 Okay uh gotta go I'll be there I wanted to grab them by the lapels And be like You think this is content I'll give you content Go on Netflix It's an hour special
Starting point is 01:03:38 They pay me $220,000 And I haven't made a time off of And he meant nothing bad by that, by the way. Nothing bad, just a guy with a shitty demeanor. Just didn't know what to say. Ted Sarando snows I exit. They give me a wallet with my initials in it as a present.
Starting point is 01:04:02 You think you're hot shit. You're on your way to your accounting job. I'm here on the internet yelling at people who send me relatable memes because I don't want them to send me memes. Just had a full fucking meltdown. That was going on inside of me. And on the outside, I go, oh, cool. Yeah, you could go check it out on Netflix.
Starting point is 01:04:26 It's like, do you know, like, it is. Sometimes I feel like I died and went to hell and, like, this is hell. Because I go, this must be hell. This has to be hell. I think hell isn't the devil stabbing you with the fork. hell is being so close and literally seeing the thing you think you want as it alludes you at every turn. I can't relate. Emily will love this.
Starting point is 01:04:55 At least I got the love of my life by my side. Yes. Thank you for bringing me back back. You're right. You're right. Ben, no one is more appreciative. No one is a better cooler than Ben's soft. Priorities.
Starting point is 01:05:08 We're going to call this episode Jared unfil. Sure. Before we ride, I have one more wedding. You think anyone can just perform in Jacksonville off a highway? You think anyone can entertain 30 people in Jacksonville at a 9.30 Friday night show? I get three entrees. They give me three entrees of the bar food. I get unlimited, but I can't order the steak.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Anything I want on any comedy club menu, except for the steak. I'm a big chick. I have one more, what are you nuts? And then we're wrapping up. I got to go talk to Susie Weiss. Who's the best? I'm walking down the street. Claudia and I were with our son.
Starting point is 01:05:53 A woman and her mother come up to us. They're like, oh my God, is that Ruben? We're like, yeah. She's like, my last name is Ruben. Spelled differently, of course. I'm R-U-B-I-N. He's R-U-B-E-N. What do you nuts?
Starting point is 01:06:07 Shut the hell up. What do you want me to do with that? What? What am I supposed to do? It is like them leaving you with the worst improv scene you could have ever had. Yeah, I would just look at her and go, and there are three moons for Saturn. It's just like, what are you? Like, what else are we going to do?
Starting point is 01:06:26 What do you want me to do? I'll tell you what we want you to do. Watch the family plan on Netflix. Folks, this episode's five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Watch us on Spotify, the video Jared, on Spotify. I love the video on Spotify. I'm a big fan of it.
Starting point is 01:06:40 through the roof, Mondays and Thursdays, folks. Oh, also, oh also, watch Josh's new show. New show on the Food Network, folks. On the Food Network. Sweet Deceit, October 5th, 10 p.m. It looks amazing. Sweet deceit. I saw the commercial.
Starting point is 01:06:59 It looks amazing. I was so excited for you. Congratulations. I made this all about me. Sweet deceit. Love you, God bless. Sweet deceit, October 5th. Mondays and Thursdays, folks.
Starting point is 01:07:09 It's not when sweet deceit is. that's when our show is. And we will see you. Next time. Boom. And here, the Mona Lisa, gaze into Mona's eyes in perfect health
Starting point is 01:07:33 with no undiagnosed problems and her optic nerve in excellent condition. Anyone here got eyes like Mona? Mine are brownish. Not enough people know about their eye health. That's why OCT scans are included in every standard eye exam
Starting point is 01:07:49 at Specsaver's locations. Should have gone to Specsavers. Book an eye exam to Today, eye exams provided by independent optometrists. Contact your local spec savers for details.

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