Good Guys - Jon Taffer Says Bar Owners Have Never Had It Harder

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

Mazel Morons! Today we’re joined by Bar Rescue’s Jon Taffer. We talk about his background that brought him to where he is today, the challenges of owning a bar, why people aren’t drawn to clubs anymore, and he even weighs in on Ben’s Mexican hibachi restaurant idea.  Then, a Moron Mail on no kids being allowed at a destination wedding, a What Are You Nuts? on Josh being told to “plunk it out” during a musical audition, and make sure you stick around for Jon’s best (or worst) catering story! What are ya nuts?! Love ya! Write us! Send your messages to [e-mail]  Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to hero.co and use code GUYS at checkout. Watch the new season of Chad Powers. From Glen Powell, and the creator of Loki - On September 3rd, Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at MINTMOBILE.com/goodguys. To shop the most wonderful deals for school, check out staples.com/GoodGuys. Go to ro.co/goodguys to see if you qualify and get started on Ro Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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back to the Good Guys podcast. Benjamin, you know who we have here today for this special hybrid episode of the Good Guys Pod. Yes, we have the great John Taffer coming on in just a couple of minutes. My God. Oh, I love him, Josh. I love him. I know.

You also love him. We love him. As we know, my two father figures are Guy Fiatty and John Taffer, and they are my comfort shows along with House Hunters International because I want to know what it's like to live in Copenhagen in a very small. apartment. I digress. But I love Bar Rescue. I've watched it all 11 seasons and I love Dinah Stravins and Dives. But the great John Taffer is here. He is a restaurant, uh, he's a restaurant tour, a bar, a bar on tour. A bar on tour, a club rontore, a restaurant tour. He likes

our ideas. He's amazing. Okay. John Taffer is amazing. And Josh, I'd be remiss if I didn't say this. The same way that we're going to get you and Jonah Hill in a ring, I think we need to get John Taffer and Marcus Limonis in a ring. What do you think about that? Who's Marcus Limonis? He's the, he's the profit CNBC. He also goes and fixes businesses. You don't know him? I bet I do now. He's Fon Faffer. So we need to get him in a ring. Yeah, let's see. And whoever emerges gets to inherit the other one's show. It'll be John. Okay. Sure well. John's guy. Golden glove.

Six, two. Really? Yeah, he's a tall man. Good for him. He owned clubs in Philadelphia. You think this man has not seen violence? He has. He's probably done it too.

Brother, you don't want to know what a Wawa in Philly feels like. Oh my God, anytime past 11. And Philadelphia is one of my favorite cities. But boy, oh boy, do they have some, uh, some, some, some, some, crazy people. Definitely. They got crazies. But shout out. It's what makes the city tick. And they have this restaurant called Little Nonas.

Oh my God. You ever had this food? I've never had this food. I've only been there really for Philadelphia 76ers games. I watched the Knicks absolutely open up a can of whoop ass. And then, yeah, on October 20th, I'll see y'all at the garden where we plan on fucking up LeBron. So, Philly, Philly, come in my DMs. Yeah. In January 6th, I'll see y'all at the Capitol. And without further ado, John Taffer.

Bang, bang. I cannot believe this. One of my favorite shows for basically over a decade. Basically, I just want John Taffer to adopt me. I look at him as a father figure, and he's just finding this out. John Taffer's here. Thank you, sir, for being here. My pleasure, guys.

It's great to be with you. You know, the two of you are quite a dynamic duo, I must. say. Oh, thank you very much. And look, you are, when Josh said John Taffer's coming on, you don't even realize how synergistic, everything that you do is to everything that we love. Okay, besides the fact that Josh is 17 years sober, I own an alcohol company. Okay, we are both obsessed with food. All that we talk about is food concepts. We love a good bar. Let me tell you, John, you are just the epitome of everything that we would love to be when we grow up. So thank you again for joining us.

My pleasure, guys. For anyone who's been under a rock, I mean, your show Bar Rescue has been on for 10-plus seasons. It's believe it or not, and I'm not sure I'm supposed to say this. So this is the first time I'm saying this. We just signed for another season. And this would be my 17th year, 11 seasons. You guys know a little about TV. You know how that works.

Michael's. Sure. So I only got 11 raises over 17 years, not 17 raises over 17 years. Has it ever been harder to be a bar owner than it is right now? No, I think this is for bar restaurant, but you could almost say that about a lot of businesses, Ben, you know. It's just, you know, the currents are tough, as I would call them, the market currents, prices are escalated, supply is difficult. You know, everything is so costly from a services standpoint. Plummers almost make as much as doctors do today. Electricians make us almost as much as doctors do today. Every aspect of the business is challenging today.

And then, you know, people's, look, we all know that people are stretched financially. They don't have the amount of leisure dollars that they used to have. And as an end result, they can't spend in much. And then you guys put GLP1 medications on top of it, right? People are eating less, they're drinking less. It's almost like a triple whammy in a sense. that's sort of working against us. And then turnover.

And as you know, because your family's in the business, turnover affects food quality, affects consistency, affects everything. So, you know, there's a lot of challenges facing the industry today. On the other hand, if you can hit the ball right, it's still a home run. It's just a little harder to hit the ball right,

if you know what I'm saying. But the truth is, I know plenty of good doctors. I cannot find a good electrician for the life for me. They deserve them. money. You can't find a good, I mean, a good contractor. It's impossible. I can find an urgent care anywhere. I'm just saying. No, I hear you, buddy. By the way, I'm going to pop in with a quick waddy and nuts and then I want to come back to how difficult it is to own a bar because you just reminded me. I'm saying my waddy nuts early. John, I'm in the Hamptons for the summer.

I'm fortunate to be here. We called a plumber to come. We had a sink issue. My sink was clogged. What do you think it costs to snake a drain? I'm going to be aggressive because I know it's going to be an aggressive number. So $900. Josh? It should be how long did the job take? It would be $180. Yeah, it should be $300.

He was there for 45 minutes. It should be $300. I think John, like $911. Wow. I couldn't believe it. and I said, this was the worst. I said, how is it so, like I paid him? And I said, just so, how is it so much money?

He said, welcome to the Hamptons. God, I wanted to get it. It was one of the worst. I just, it popped into my head, so I had to say it. Okay, back to what we were saying, the hardest time to be a bar owner. There is a narrative that was just disputed, and sorry to be so inside baseball,

but in the alcohol industry, this narrative that was being parroted that Gen Z isn't drinking anymore. I think it was being pushed, by everybody selling these THC drinks, but it just came out that Gen Z actually is drinking. So I love that you brought up. I'm a GLP1 user,

and I can tell you that I drink less because I'm on GLP1s. It has nothing to do with the next generation drinking less, but that is a much scarier curve, I'd think, as a bar owner than this idea that the older people get, the less of a clientele you will have. Gen Z certainly is looking for experiences.

They want to go to bars, they want to go to restaurants, they want to spend the disposable income that they have, and they want to have fun, right? I agree with that, but they didn't get a chance to play in the minor leagues. Here's what I mean by that. During the pandemic, they weren't going to Starbucks. They weren't going to student unions. They weren't sitting around little tables, guys, sipping beverages, not alcoholic, albeit coffee,

whatever it is. And that training ground for bars didn't quite happen over those couple of years. and I think that's significant. So they're not as comfortable walking into that bar. It's not part of their life going out and socializing around the people. I understand. So I think that they're coming at it a year or two later than would be normal because they're evolving into it rather than just naturally stepping into it.

And I'm curious to hear if you guys think I'm crazy when I say that. I think it makes all the sense in the world. I think that you sort of, you see it also. the pandemic played a massive role on the development of young children too. So we're going to school, just not being able to be social. So you see the same thing up to college kids that never had to go into a classroom, never got to go to a bar. I think that I think that makes sense.

What do you think, Josh? I think that we are in a time where weed has become so ubiquitous. And it can be less calorically, assuming you don't get the munchies, and it can have less of an effect on your overall body as far as being able to wake up the next morning. So I think the places that have really leveled up with alcohol are the ones doing signature drinks, doing Instagram, very photogenic beverages, and just overall giving a vibe where I think for many decades it was just about a nice, dark place to get some whiskey. But who knows? I could be wrong. I would also blame some of that. Media. Here's my

theory of that. Let's say that you posted a picture today of you looking the worst you've ever looked, man. You look like almost dead. People are going to comment, looking good, buddy, great pick. You're going to get this BS gratification that you don't deserve. Yes. Because of this constant gratification and stimulus, we live for relevancy to a far greater level than my generation was programmed to. So when you go to a place today, you want to go to a place that's relevant. You want to take a picture of it because it's so relevant with you being. You want a drink that's relevant. And you're going to take a picture of that relevant drink with you.

And you connect this relevancy, even if you're not posting it, to this constant need for relevancy. So I'm with you guys. And Taffer's Tavern, if you ever go to the website, look at the pictures and stuff there, My cocktails are crazy with smoke bubbles on top and everything you can imagine to create connectivity, toasted marshmallows burning when they hit the table. My campfire cocktail has a little pile of wood next to it with smoke out of it. Wow. So you guys, I mean, so we live that way.

And when that walks past the table, you guys want one. And by the way, we have non-alcoholic ones too, buddy. So we have beautiful things for everyone. but it's so critical today to present in a relevant way to give you relevancy for ordering it. That's a unique dynamic that didn't exist in our business years ago. And by the way, it relates to the catering business too. Totally. I'm having a wedding.

And here's the way we sell, I would sell weddings when I did them. I'd have a bottle of cheap wine in a bottle that looks like cheap wine. And I'd have a French bottle that looks like good wine. And I'd say, which are the images that you want for your wedding? Right. You want wine in a box? Totally. A medium-execulated cheap bottle and go to the other bottle without even looking at the label. Relevancy. Totally.

I think that that's how bars, but to loop it back to our conversation, that's how I think bars find importance and success today is through this connectivity and relevance. And you're right, guys, it's not a dark room anymore. What about clubs? I don't know if you were ever a club owner. I was. Okay. So the clubs are great. going through, I guess it has something to do with people maybe having less disposable income,

even though I think that the person that could afford a $600 bottle of gray goose then or now. I just, the club game has completely changed. People are not getting tables. People are not open to having a $5,000 minimum at a table. People don't like grinding anymore. What is it? I'm genuinely curious. Is it the same theory that you have that they just didn't,

They missed it because of COVID, or are clubs gone? I would say because I think the trend started before COVID. And let me share it with you. I take Vegas out of this discussion because the nightclubs in Vegas are a fantasy land, right? You know, $90 million a year, et cetera. So I own nightclubs and I ran nightclubs. One of my claim the fames was opening the pulsations nightclub in Philadelphia where we had a 27-foot spaceship that flew to the room and deposited a half a million-dollar robot

on the dance floor. And our robot was leased for Rocky Four. That was what? That looked like an alien. A club in Philly, you must have needed good security, John. Jesus Christ. A lot of nudnicks.

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Now, we promise that we wouldn't get, you know, too crazy with our questions, but I got to ask. No, go for it, right? Bread baskets. We have lost the plot. They're gone. You see very little bread service at places. How expensive is it for a restaurant and should more restaurants use them? I think it depends upon the environment and the concept.

Years ago, I licensed the baseball company, Rawlings. And I owned Rawlings All-American Sports Bar in San Mateo, California. And I sold it years ago. And I had a bread basket that came with strawberry butter. Oh, my God. And people drove miles for that freaking bread basket. So, you know, it goes back to reactions and relevancy. If you do it really well, guys, it can become a draw.

It can become, if you're just going to throw some freaking bread on a table, then, you know, then screw it, man. And that's not going to do anything for your business. What is the best thing that you can do ever is get somebody to drink or somehow ingest a little bit of citrus before you eat and before you order. That's why, you know, I'm a big fan of years ago I worked with a famous barbecue restaurant as a consultant. And their beverage sales were like 6%. And in a month, we took them up to 21%. And we simply did it by saying, don't bring the food menu out for two minutes.

Let them stare at the beverage menu. And why citrus? Yeah, why citrus? I was going to say the same thing. Why citrus? Citrus get your gastric juices flowing. It causes you to feel hungrier. Wow.

Wow. Tomorrow morning, have a couple of sips of just orange juice or something and wait a few minutes and watch what happens. You desire to consume and eat grows. I blame my genetics, but it's my love of orange juice that led to my childhood obesity. And I'm going to tell my pediatrician, because we still talk. John, what I love about Barresca, I love this, and it happens in almost every episode.

It's when you get good and mad, John. Oh, do I love this? When you really lose it, you go, what are you doing? You think this is okay? What really grind your gears? What is a real red line that's done at a restaurant at a bar that you feel is just unacceptable?

You know, obviously the filth, if they wants to lose money and give drinks away, you know, God bless them, they can lose all the money they want. but if it's filthy and if they're threatening to get somebody sick, I go nuts over that. But here's the ultimate guys, and I get no briefing, guys. I've never seen the casting reels. I have no knowledge.

I have a company that does the casting. So when I show up, I literally have never been there before. I've never met these people. All I know is I'm going to this city. I sit in a chair at about 5 o'clock in the afternoon. I get my makeup, and I get literally a 60-second briefing from my showrunner and supervising producer who have been with me for 15 years. So they'll tell me, John and George are in debt $400,000.

John lost his house. George is about to. They have 20 grand in a bank. They have enough money to make it two months. And the other one's house goes. And by the way, they both have kids. So now I walk into the business. This guy's about to lose this freaking house.

Can I curse on this podcast? You sure can. You can. This guy's about to lose this fucking house. And he's not even trying. His wife is at home counting on him. His kids are freaking counting on him, and he ain't fucking doing it. That is the ultimate to me.

That's when I'm getting angry now just talking about it. That's what drives me absolutely insane. And I know that you guys would agree with me on this. Protecting and coming through for your family is everything. It's also fascinating that you can find yourself in a business where you have to be such a self-starter and so entrepreneurial and not want to get up and do the work. Why are you in the bar business? What are you doing there? You guys hanging with people or whatever it is.

So then he should go to the bar. We have, Josh, I want to get John's opinion on our, this restaurant concept. I'm telling you, we've landed on a goldmine, Josh. Oh, God. Here we go. John, are you ready for this? I'm ready for this, but I forewarn you, I've been on Playboy Morning Radio being pitched restaurant concepts. Are you ready for this?

I'm ready. I am pre-embarrassed. Are you ready for this? Oh, God. You're familiar with habachi, John. Okay? Habachi's fun. Everybody loves it.

It's an experience. It's communal. It has an Asian twist, right? We are, it's Asian. Mexican habachi, John. We are doing fajitas. We are doing grilled shrimp. It's the same blackstone, same thing.

And we are calling it Beni Chuana. John? He loves it. He loves it. As one who owned a restaurant years ago called Shanghai. I totally freaking get it, man. You love it, right? Do you love it?

It's a cool concept. It's almost like a twist on a Korean barbecue, right? Yes, yes. In essence. Yes. It's very cool. See? Josh.

Oh, God. I did this on Bar Rescue, I think, once. There's a thing that you buy called a hot rock. And it's a stone that's glazed on the top. So it's glossy. And you put it in a convection oven at 350 degrees. Okay. And then you send it out on the table with shrimp and meat and sauces.

And it's a personal habatchi, if you will. Wow. And you take this shrimp and you put it on a stone and it holds the heat for quite a while. But if you put your elbow on it, You won't bring your elbow because it's only 350 degrees. I did it in a bar rescue episode, and we would do marinated shrimp and, you know, sort of Korean style, thin sliced meats and things like that. And it was very successful.

We called it hot rock appetizers. I love it. It's like premium poo-pup platters. Sort of. Yep. And you're interacting, making it for each other and all that. What is the, I'm sure you get this question a lot, John, but is there, do you do long-term follow-ups where, you know, What does the ratio look like for restaurants that are able to survive long term after they're on the show?

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. It was an article that came out just recently. And they had me, and he's a great guy, so I'm not a discounting. We have different shows. They compared me to Ramsey and Success Factor. I'm sure you can Google it and pull up the article. And I doubled Gordon's in Success Factor. Wow.

I was in the 60s where he was in the 30s. But there's a reason why. Gordon's a chef. he migrates to the kitchen. Everybody else who's ever done a show like mine has always been a chef. So they migrate to the kitchen. I'm a business guy. A chef is somebody I hire.

So I'm looking at the business model, not from the kitchen up. I'm looking from the front back. So I'm focusing on a customer experience, the music, the tempo, the lighting levels, the flow patterns, all these kinds of elements that I focus on. So it's logical that there would be a difference in, the numbers and the way we both go about it. Wow. I don't think that to denigrate him at all because he's wonderful.

You know, I love Gordon. Josh, I have one more food concept. Okay. Hear me on, hear me out on this one. Coldstone creamery. Okay? Coldstone creamery. How many locations were there?

A lot, right? They expanded very quickly. That's a very specific setup, a cold stone. It's honestly the opposite of what we just spoke about. It is. John, what if we buy cold stone creameries, okay? But we turn it into a restaurant concept, working title just a scoop, chicken salad, tuna, salad, egg salad.

You pick your protein. It goes on the cold stone. You add in your chopped pickles, onions, whatever it is. We mix it up when you give you just a scoop, either in a cup or we put it on a sandwich. You could also, they have these eco-friendly plant-based bowls that you can buy now. Okay. That you could freeze. Oh, that is cool.

You could serve it in a frozen, disposable, eco-friendly bowl. Okay, so what you're telling me is we're launching two concepts. I don't tell you that. That's an interesting concept. And there's a girl who's Vegas-based who's called chicken salad queen or something. He's doing very, very well. So there's clearly a market for that. You can also have fun with that.

You could do things like German chicken salad and onions and nuts to it. You could do Australian chicken salad. and add kiwis and other things to it. You could really take it to another level so there are three or four different chicken salads. Easy to make. You start with one base and you just add that other ingredient

to give it its interesting. Exactly. I'm not going to lie. I didn't know where you were going with German chicken salad. I'm happy you're just adding grapes and not like the blood of juice or something. I didn't know where you were going.

I just pick that. But an Italian version, you could do a lot of things. You know, blood, tomatoes. Yeah. Indian, you could do an Indian version. with a little curry in it. I love it. By the way, there's nothing more delicious than curry chicken salad.

For everybody listening, if you love chicken salad and you've never put a little curry powder in, holy smokes with some raisins and walnuts, it'll blow your mind. I blow your mind. You got how much fun you could have with it if you had to come up with five or six different chicken salads. It's done, John. It's done. John, we're so grateful that you came on the show. We're truly the biggest fans, and I knew that you and Ben would just hit it off.

And thank you for making my life harder now because Ben's really going to want me to now put up some money for these restaurants. Yeah, you're going all in. Ben, I'm dying to tell you my best catering story of all time. Please tell me. Yes. I'm vice president of a hotel company,

as I told you before I started my company, and a general manager of a hotel in Evanston, Illinois, is sick. He's in a hospital. So I go to his hotel to babysit the hotel for a few days. It's Thursday afternoon, and I'm flipping through his desk, and he has a banquet event order as a piece of paper for a wedding on Saturday night. So I pick up the phone, I call the kitchen to the chef, you set for the wedding on Saturday night. He goes, I didn't know he had a wedding on Saturday night.

Oh, my God. He got a wedding for 225 people. We have a meeting room that holds 180. So now I get on the phone. I call the guy in a hospital. He's half delirious. He's screwed up. Now I got to get the food ordered Thursday for Friday delivery for Saturday.

And I got to do everything. and I see on the event order that there's no information for a champagne toast. So I say to the guy, to my, the GM on the phone, it says no champagne toast. He goes, no, no, no,

they specifically said no champagne toast. Well, I'm putting a banquet together Saturday morning. I had the cake in the center of the room and somehow we packed in all the seats that was ridiculous. And the elevator had a freight elevator. Here it comes, guys.

The banquet room was on the second floor. And I had a pet peeve is the vice president of his company, this freaking elevator never fucking worked. So the cake is delivered. You know this in the catering business, Ben. I got the big box, the smaller box, the smaller box. Yeah.

We bring all the cakes into the elevator. We go up. The elevator gets stuck between the floors. The small box, the other box, the third box, they all fit through the hatch, but the big box all fit. So now we got to take the cake out of the square box So it's a round cake.

That'll fit. Oh, my God. Now we're passing the cake up into this hole. And the guy standing on top of the elevator, it slides and smashes into the back wall of this disgusting gray elevator. Now the back third of the cake is flat. So now we've got to reorganize the banquet room to put the cake in the corner so I can park. We're whipping up whipped cream to try to fill it in from the back and dress it as best we can. finally I pull it off

they walk in the father of the groom walks up to me and says we're the glasses for the champagne toast Oh my God That's my best thank you story What a nightmare

That's amazing That is so good John tell us more Where can people find you What are you up to now What's most pressing for people who are listening to the show

Of course they're fans of yours already but what's pertinent information for today? I'm really proud of Taffer's brown butter bourbon. Check it out online. It's available in 34 states online. You can find it at my website. My Taffer's Tavern is doing great. We just opened in Orlando and Midtown Atlanta.

It's doing great. You'd enjoy the food there, guys. It's all dressed really, really well. Oh, yum. And I worked hard, obviously, on trying to have the best tavern food in America. And then new season of Barrette. coming up, but not until next year. We're going to start shooting it soon.

End of September. And by the way, if you guys would like to do recon on an episode. Great. We can make that happen. Yes. Yes. So we could we love to. We could be like the, um, the, the secret shoppers who come in. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, I'm ordering mozzarella sticks. I am ordering mozzarella sticks. You don't have to order a cocktail. You can order something non-alcoholic, of course. I'll order. I'll order two cocktails. I'll give up my sobriety for you, John. I don't think of me.

I don't want to do that. But I'll have my team follow up. We'll set it up. We're shooting in Tampa, the Panhandle, New Orleans, and Dallas this year. We will see you in the Panhandle, John. We will see you in the Panhandle. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Staples. Folks, it's still the most wonderful time of the year at Sampels.

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at Staples. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Roe. Folks, many people assume GLP1 medications are out of reach because of the cost. Folks, that's simply not true. First and foremost, you can go on Row.com, use their free insurance checker and check if you're covered. There's a solid chance that you are. Not everybody's going to get denied.

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medications, including boxed warning, go to row.com slash safety. Oh, that was the great John Taffer, Josh. Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, did you set up a winner? Oh, was that great? It was unbelievable. I actually, I could have spoken to him, and I probably would like to speak to him privately for a very long time. Very long time.

I do think that he thinks I'm a caterer. He does. That's okay. That's totally okay. The son of a caterer and can totally understand everything that he was referencing. I've been behind the scenes. And, you know, maybe I'll be a caterer in the future. Who knows, Josh. But he was fantastic. And the fact that he even, he did his research. Like, the fact that he even knew that, what a mensch. The magic of a Johnny T, you know, you just don't see it anymore. This is a man who's seen things, who's done things. I want to talk to him for much longer too privately, but mostly on like how to play catch. He kind of looks like you. The birds and the bees. We got similar eyebrows going on.

This is a Jewish king. This is the goal. Yeah, he's awesome. Wow. And just like it's so, it's so impressive the way that he has been able to, which is something that I try not to think too hard on because it's too overwhelming to think about.

But the way that he has this flywheel working, where he has entertainment that powers legitimacy for consulting, that powers the ability to open a bar or a restaurant, and they all feed each other. It's very hard to do, very impressive, and it's awesome. He was awesome. I loved it.

I loved it. What a fun guy. Everybody go follow him. John Taffer and watch Bar Rescue and support him and go to his taverns and that brown sugar whiskey sounds delicious. Yeah, he gives Mori energy. He's giving more Mory P. energy.

And I think that might be the Jewish Rushmore of reality TV. Jerry Springer, Mori, John Taffer. Yes. We got to come up with a fourth. We will. We sure will. We will.

Howie Mandel. We need to talk to more seven, 65, 70 year old plus Jews. I'm going to be so good in retirement. It's sick. I love to work out at a club. I love to sit around. I love questions.

I love lunch food. I love oatmeal. I hate stairs. I like soup. And I'm just going to be a loosey-goosey. You know, I'm going to be giving kisses with a lot of saliva. All my 70 plus friends, they kiss my cheek and it's wet. Josh, we need to open one Ben-I-Chlana.

I think we got to work on the name. What? Benny Chwana, it's right there. It's right there. I don't know if people are going to be offended. Well, no, they won't be offended because I've already thought about this. Okay. Benny Chwana and we get a chef named Juan.

Okay. This isn't just us. This is Chef Juan's. Here's the story. Two Jews. Yeah, two Jews, very passionate about Mexican cuisine. Did I just for all, you know, your dad could have been Mexican. You're, oh, that's our angle.

Yes. You're Mexican. I have been. Yeah. Stolen. Stolen valor. Totally, dude. We're opening it, okay?

We're opening it. I'm 100% in. We're opening at 100%. And then, Ejana, your meal is good 100% of the time. Hi, I'm Ben Zoffer, and I'm Josh Peck, and you've probably been quandering what we've been up to. Well, we've got a wonderful new restaurant for you. We can film the greatest commercial ever.

That is insane. If you are not 100% satisfied. Should we get to a moron mail? We absolutely should. Folks, good guys podcast, one at gmail. The Moron Mail has been through the roof lately. Let's do. Okay, Thursday wedding, Josh.

No, Kids is the subject. Okay. Hello, morons. My B.I.L. People, I'm sorry. B.I.L is not a normal acronym for brother-in-law. People do this when they write moron mails. Write it out for me.

You're lucky I'm smart. My brother-in-law 26 and his new fiancé sent out their saved the dates for a Thursday wedding next July. I went to their wedding website to see the details, and on the FAQs, it says no kids. We have a four-year-old and a one-year-old niece and nephew of the groom, and the wedding will be about three or four hours away, so very likely we will be there overnight for one to two nights. So not only do we have to take multiple days off of work, but also have to ask someone to also take days off of work to watch our kids overnight.

Any advice on how to navigate this? It's really, really hard, especially when it's at a location. My wife and I are happily figuring this out right now for one of her family members who's getting married, but it is what it is. You absolutely cannot bring the kids and you can't be upset when someone makes that call of no kids because it's usually a financial stamp. point but it's also from it's also taking the stress off of having a pick and choose because they certainly can't allow even their family member kids in and then say no to everyone else's kids who

are in the same position you are so yeah i don't know how to get a a reputable babysitter while abroad even if it's three hours away yeah it's hard it's interesting it's interesting josh i think that a no-kid wedding on a Thursday night is significantly better than a no kid wedding on a Saturday or Sunday. I understand the idea of child care. That's a huge, huge issue that must be solved. But you would think, at least maybe their philosophy was, you know what, it's at night, a Thursday night.

They're probably asleep. Somebody just has to put the kids down and then they'll go to sleep, was maybe the bride and groom's thinking versus a 2 p.m. or a 3 p.m. Saturday or Sunday start is much harder. The tough part is they're three or four hours away. Now, do they live three or four hours away? Or did they make it a destination wedding three or four hours away from their house? That I'd love to know. But in the end of the day, they're getting married. It's your family. I don't think it's the biggest deal. I would probably recommend you said that they're four and one. It's really hard.

I guess if you have the ability, of course, to leave them, if you are so fortunate to have parents that can watch them or something where they can stay over, that would be the best case scenario. But I was actually just going to recommend the terrible idea, which is like bring them with you and just like, they don't have school anyways, like be with them, leave them for three hours to go to the wedding,

have somebody watch them, but then they stay over with you. And it becomes just like a trip. Right. But in this- Is that a good recommendation? Yeah, it totally could be. I think what's hard in this scenario, like what people face is that probably their network of trusted babysitters are all going to be at that wedding. Sure.

So it's unless they have someone who they can employ to bring with them, that's definitely a move. I think also what is cool, and I've seen this done before is sometimes, the people getting married will say, we know it's a destination wedding. We've vetted and found like, like literally you like could go to a service to find like camp counselor types. And like they rent a, you know, they rent a hotel room and they have a couple,

you know, two or three people that are vetted and background checked and the whole thing. And like so all the, turn it into a kid's club for a couple hours. Yeah, wedding daycare. Great idea. Yeah, that happens too. But great idea.

It's a pickle. it surely is a pickle. I am also thinking now the fact that it's the niece and nephew of the groom, pretty weird that they're not invited, but. But again, you can't invite them and then not invite any other kids. You can't draw the line at niece and nephew. Like, isn't that a little different than like a cousin? That's like so close, right?

That's not like, you know what I mean? But we don't know if there's like a bunch of, of cousin kids that like can't come you know like maybe there's some people in the middle I feel you I guess it's a slippery slope I guess it's a slippery slope all right well good luck it's I don't know if we gave any good advice it's it's a toughy I don't think we even close to good advice because there's no good it's a pickle and it doesn't happen a lot yeah there's there's no good advice um Josh before we do what you nuts, I went to the most hysterical 90 minutes of comedy that I have seen in quite some time

last week. I'm ready. I went to see the great J.B. Smooth. Huh. Oh my God. I don't know if you've had the great fortune of seeing him live. He, I don't think I've seen better physical comedy in my entire life. Wow.

He is so funny. I was dying of laughter. And let me paint the picture set the stage. He played at the West Hampton Performing Arts Center. The West Hampton Performing Arts Center is like a Jones Beach. Maybe you have one of them in California where people get season tickets. Of course, you can buy tickets, but it's also the locals are really excited about having a season pass. They pay up front and they get access to all of them.

So you go, you find new comics, you find new acts, whatever it may be. and when I sat down and I looked around me and I saw, I don't know, 40, 75 year old plus white men and women, I was like, oh, they don't know where they are. And let me tell you, watching J.B. Smooth fuck a chair for 15 minutes on stage as I watched rows of people leave was the highlight of my, he is so funny. He filmed a special. he said at the end that we were all here watched a special it's gonna be somewhere

I would love when he's touring if we can when he's doing press if we can get him on the show he was so fucking funny so I just had to say that J.B. Smooth my God shout out.

I love you. You are hysterical. You are hysterical. Love him. Love him on curb. Love him in general. He's so funny. So funny. All right.

What are you nuts? Or what are you at this moment of the week is our gripes with people, places and things, both big and tall, whatever is sticking in your craw. Josh? So your boy is getting a lot of theater opportunities. Really? One potentially in the West End. Broadway?

In the UK. It's actually in London, England, the West End. Broadway? I'm sure they have a Broadway stream. So, and it was something I auditioned for that I got. It's just a matter of if I'm going to go bring the whole family to go do it. Wow. And then there's a new play in musical in New York that they want me to audition for.

And, you know, I can sing a little bit. And so they sent me the music and the sides for the audition. Now, I've not auditioned for a lot of musicals before. And the one that I auditioned for in the UK is, a show that's been, I'd be replacing someone. So the music was available on Apple and I was able to listen to it. This is a new show, new songs. The recordings don't exist.

So I'm listening and it's just a beautiful piano player playing the accompaniment for the audition. And I wrote to my agent, I said, what about, like, do they have a demo of someone singing it? Because they sent me the words and they sent me this piece of music, but I don't know how the song goes. and he goes, no, you're supposed to plunk it out. I said, what? You know, plunk.

Like, you know, like you hit a note on a piano, you plunk it. They sent you the sheet music and you'll just plunk out the notes. Oh, my God. On the piano and that's how you will figure out the melody. One of the hardest things I've ever heard in my life. It's an impossible task. I wrote him. I said, this is a what are you nuts, Josh, my agent's Josh.

I was like, Josh, this is what are you nuts? And granted, look, clearly there, and I play piano. Look, I could, but it just seems like the craziest ass. It is. To poorly learn how to sing a song and to just elongate the process by having to punk it out. Especially in a world where they literally in one minute. it can throw it into AI and have somebody sing it. I was just pretty amazed, but I guess musical theater, true musical theater, people

are doing this for auditions all the time. So shout out to them. Shout out to them. Not that you asked me, but Josh, I love this idea. I don't love London. Fuck that. Fuck the queen or whatever the hell's going on over there. Fuck the king.

I think it's sicker. I think the West End is sicker. No, Josh. Do you understand? what Broadway does. Do you know what it would, you know what it would do to you? It took,

it took little Ben Platt and it made him so much more than he ever should have been. There's such lofty credibility with Broadway. This squares love it. It puts you in all, it just, look,

not that you're asking me. I love it. little Benny Platt, busy with little Benny Safra, a little Jewishy sleepaway camp, the two of you. I don't even want to know what you two are up to. I love it, Josh. I do want to know. I love it.

Thank you. Just saying, all right, my Woody and Nuts moment of the week is, I went this morning to, it's a diner. I went this morning to a diner. I dropped my son off, went to a diner. did a little bit of work, Josh, this is an empty diner. Empty. Have my computer out doing a little bit of work.

Empty. But let's say 100 tables. Okay? Empty. The waitress, the host specifically said you can sit wherever you want. Wherever you want. What happens, Josh? Three minutes later,

a couple comes and sits right next to me. There are, it's an entire. entire open restaurant. And I know that the waitress didn't stack us because I know what you're going to say. Oh, they want to keep you in the same area so it's easier for them to clean. It's two people in the whole place. And the hostess specifically said you can sit wherever you want. And now it's me and it's these people.

And these people are yapping, yapping, yapping, yapping. What do you not sit somewhere else? There's 98 other places you can sit. Don't crowd me. Sit somewhere else. Don't crowd me, man. This episode's five stars. We know.

Otherwise, what are you nuts? Sure is. Like making Josh do whatever the fuck they were trying to make him do? Listen to us wherever you get your podcast. Watch us on Spotify. The video is out of this world. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.