Good Guys - Josh Almost DIED?!

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

Mazel morons! Today we’re kicking things off with sports talk before diving into Josh’s absolutely unhinged Dennis Rodman story-complete with alien emojis, North Korea, and an on-air crime confession that mysteriously never made it to broadcast. From there, we spiral into swaddles, chowder in 100-degree heat, and Josh’s first-ever allergic reaction (spoiler: expired lotion is the villain). Plus, we answer YOUR questions about camping cuisine and baby registries, and give our take on an overhyped alert. What are ya nuts? Love ya!  Leave us a voicemail here! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: Visit Carawayhome.com/GOOD10 to take an additional 10% off your next purchase. Goodwipes is giving away FREE wipes! Just buy a pack at Target, Walmart, Kroger-or your local store-then head to goodwipes.com/GOODGUYS, text them your receipt and get reimbursed! Applebee's iconic 2 for $25 deal is back featuring their NEW Chicken Parmesan Fettuccine and NEW Big Bangin' Burger. Visit www.functionhealth.com/GOODGUYS or use gift code GOODGUYS 100 at sign-up to own your health. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, Booking. YEAH! Book today on the site or in the app. Prolon is offering Good Guys listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Nutrition Program! Just visit ProlonLife.com/GOODGUYS Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys, they're not the great guys, We're just so good, good, good guys. Mazel morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.

I'm sitting here with Mayor Mumdani's Jewish Outreach, teammates, Ben Soff. I promise we come in peace. I promise. Ignore everything we've ever said. We're trying. Where can we come in peace? Oh, Bub. Bob, what's going on?

You look fantastic. I love when you wear a Mets hat. It just reminds me. It's like, God, you're such a New York. You and your allegiances. You're not wearing a Dodgers hat. If the Dodgers were to send you free tickets, you'd say no. Show hey, show no.

Show no, hey. Show hey. Yo, more like show bye. I would accept the tickets. Please, Dodgers send them because my son is a massive Dodgers fan. But yeah, it's really hard for me to break out New York, or I'm sorry, to break out of my New York gear. Like, I love the Lakers.

I loved the Kings, the L.A. Kings for a very long time. And then they had a big charity game earlier in the year. And I just did not feel like I got the respect that I deserved. And if you're ever going to have a grievance, make it over charity. So the L.A. Kings, I love you, but I don't like you right now. Yeah. Well, that's fine. Hockey's irrelevant anyways.

And all that I'll have, all that I have to say is the New York Mets, you know, they're playing some fantastic ball. You wear that hat with pride. Shout out, Steve Cohen, great owner, Pete Alonzo, friend of Benz. It's just what they're doing over there is fantastic. And for everybody listening, we are a sports podcast. We're men. We're high team. We're high team.

Let us do it for like a second. Yeah, the Mets, all I know is that the Mets are good. I know nothing else about baseball. I'm sure the Dodgers are good because they spend like $250 trillion a year. They're like the Yankees. The Yankees and the Dodgers, oh, you're good. Give me. Oh, you're good.

Gimmie. The Mets just started playing that game recently. They built a nice foundation. They said, oh, Juan Soto, you're good. Gimmie. And no money at it. This is what I do with my problems. That's the way baseball works. It's pretty crazy. Like, unlike other sports, Josh, there's no salary cap. These teams, yeah, they can just spend whatever the hell they want. Or maybe there's a cap and there's a fine. I think that's how it works. But like, it's kind of like, did you see air of the Michael Jordan movie? With Matt Damon and Ben Affleck? Yeah. I did.

I tried. Not for me. Whatever. You probably know, you probably know the story. It came. It went. Michael Jordan, we know. No.

I was going to say, no, you probably do know. Honestly, the movie was fine. I don't know why Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are making like an indie. Like, spend the money. Okay. They did spend. That movie costs $80 million. Oh, why did I think it costs like seven?

Okay. Well, if they spent the 80 and it looked like that. Oh, yeah, we did speak about this. No good. have movie considering what they spent. But regardless, the, the idea that before Michael Jordan, everybody only wore white sneakers, and then he introduced the red and paid a fine every game because it was just like cool to be Jordan, right? Like, he was fine paying the fine because it made it cool.

And so, like, in baseball, I think the Yankees, like, you can spend as much money as you want. You'll pay a fine. That's not what it is in football. That's not what it is in basketball. They're salary caps. So things stay like kind of fair. baseball doesn't do that. You have like the raise that spend like a dollar and the Yankees that spend like a billion. What's interesting too now, and I think it's across all sports except for hockey, is that the coach isn't allowed to wear a suit anymore.

And they have to wear team gear. I had no idea. It's not wild. Have you noticed? Not allowed to wear a suit? Because they can't brand it. Could you imagine a three-piece Carolina Panthers suit? Totally. They can't brand it.

turquoise and black suit with a fucking bobcat on the lapel. They can't brand it. Is that why we don't see suits in the NBA anymore? I thought these coaches were just slacking. I thought they just like didn't care about professionalism anymore. And they were like, hey, I'll show up in my Raptor hoodie. And now I'm realizing Nick Nurse was just wearing gear. Could you imagine a Steve Harvey five-button suit in yellow and perp for the Lake show?

I love it. Can you fucking imagine? No, they need to get Walt Frazier to design all the suits for every team. That way, everybody will be wearing like a little cow skin. You'll get to see that like nice patchy white and brown. Ooh, that is fantastic. Do you know, speaking of the Chicago Bulls of the great 80s and 90s, do you know my story with Dennis Rodman?

No, no. I love a new story that I haven't heard. Did you go to North Korea? Pion gang gang Dude I know I would be the one I would be like I would be taking a selfie in front of the great emperor

like it would be like Me and Kim hashtag Boom dead We're camp over Having a good day All of a sudden you're feeding A hot dog to Kim Jong-un Just cuts to Trump being like

We didn't want to trade Josh Beck, we know he voted for Kamala. I said, listen, Kim, keep him. You know, he could lose 30 pounds at least. Oh, my God. You need more dictators in your having a good day. How about now? Just you and Putin.

Well, there's a famous, there's a great doc of when Rodman went over to North Korea. And they have this big state dinner with Kim Jong-un there. and apparently Rodman got shit housed and started giving a toast and he's like, Kim, let's be honest, your father, he killed a lot of people. People were like, ugh. And like, I think the translator, luckily, or maybe they just venerate basketball and American icons like that so much, that Kim was just like down the clown. I feel bad even calling him Kim.

I feel like I'm going to be beheaded for not calling him the Great Emperor. KJU, KJU. KJU. Kimi-Zong. He's got to make a university, KJU. I could see it already. Great varsity print KJU. Yeah.

You know? King Jong University. I love it. I'm in. Maybe it's a dictator vocational school, like propaganda 101. How to be a good dictator. I love it. Yeah.

I'm in. I'm in. Why not? Like, it would harden me up. I'm too soft. intro to beheading it's good I don't know how it happened

so I had a podcast before this it was just interview based called Curious and I interviewed a bunch of people that I was interested by and one of them happened to be Dennis Rodman I don't know how we connected on Instagram but all I remember is getting a DM from him with the alien face emoji and I was like

okay And then I was like, down the clown, Dennis. I wonder if I still, I wonder if our back and forth is still recorded. How good would that be meta? Come on. Look, this is a classic. He got to separate the artists from the art. Dennis Rodman, what a legend.

God. By the way, I don't follow him anymore. He still follows me and he only follows 154 people. Follow him back. Follow him back. Okay. I just did. You follow him. I just saw that. Here we go.

I'm just about to say I need to go follow him. I follow him. Oh, we have a dude. Oh my God. I don't know if I look we have huge correspondence bro. You have to share some of it. Oh my God. Oh, he just okay July 12, 2019 here look here's the alien face. What did you write to that? Hey.

What'd you write? Hey. Like, hey. I wrote, Hi, Dennis Rodman, how are you? He wrote, I, period, want, period, you period, on, period, my period, podcast, period,

thumbs up with the darkest skin tone. Do you ever just do that? I randomly throw out a black thumb. Why not? I can't use it. I can't use it. No, you can't, Ben. Why not?

It's not for me to decide. Okay. Okay. That's fine. The white thumb is so pasty. It is. You can go like a little, like a nice olive skin thumb. I know, but like once you're changing your tone, you're like, I might as well just go black.

So honestly, they should start it off as a far less pasty white thumb. It's too much. Right. Or it's too little, too little tan. Too pasty. I don't want it. If you're sending me that thumbs up, I don't want it. I agree. I see that. Sometimes I just go, what's like the stock color, like yellow color, right? Because I'm like, what can I just do to not offend anyone?

Stock's fair. Go stock's fine. Yeah, I have no issues with stock. I have no issues with the stock yellow thumb. No issues. So he sends you the alien. He wants you to come on his podcast. Did you go on his podcast? So I write, I'll do yours if you do mine. I'd love to. Thanks for thinking of me. He writes, can period, you, period, B, period, on, period, next period week, period. Do you know how hard it is to type like that? It's like so inconvenient. Question mark heart.

I write, yes, where's the studio? It's at this time that his Dave with Dennis's team takes over, right? So now there's less punctuation. So I basically We decide that we're going to do two episodes He's going to go first I'll be on his and then we're going to do mine And I go and it's kind of

And I don't expect Dennis to know of me He was actually pretty nice While fairly You know just not terrible I think he got told like hey we have a guest And he has a good social media following This would be good for the pod And he was like, okay.

And so his pod was more like a little bit Jerry Springer-esque. So this couple comes on and Dennis and I are like the relationship experts. And she's like a very buxom beauty in kind of SNM type garb. And she's with her sort of waify soft, very beta adjacent husband. And they basically present a problem. They go, she says, I really want to feminize my husband and he refuses to. I really want him to start taking estrogen and slowly to sort of transition into just less male. And he refuses.

So I want to let him know today that every night when I give him a foot rub, I've been doing it with estrogen cream. What the fuck is this? Yeah. And he's like, you have. And she's like, yeah, I've been using estrogen cream to rub your feet. And so I'm like aghast and I go, that's a crime. I was like, that's a crime. Yeah, yeah, it is.

You're dosing him against his will with drugs. And she's like, no, it's not. And, you know, Dennis is like, hold on, hold on. Hear her out. It's like, all right, Dennis, whatever you say. So we had fun. And then he wound up doing my podcast. Mine came out, not sure his ever did.

But it was probably because she implicated herself in a crime. That would be my guess. You were on to something, Josh. That is a full-blown crime. And while Dennis is just like a, you know, don't cancel. them before you have the silver bullet. It was there. The silver bullet was there, Josh.

She was doomed. So I'm sure they just didn't air it because she would have gone to prison. So once it was all said and done, I don't know how to describe it. I felt a little, what's the word, depleted. Sure. And I think also that Dennis had to come on my pod after was not, he didn't know that he was going to have to do that. And he just did not have the energy.

But he did it. It's never a good trade, though. The trading and going second, the first podcast is always better. Get everything out first. I feel like we're always going second, Josh. The next time we do a swap, we're going first. What would be, or anyway, I want to ask, but the final thing after I left that day, to his credit, he wrote, thank period, you, period, four, period, coming, period, on, period,

heart. Right. That means he wants a relationship, Josh. He wants it. He's craving it. I'll send the photo so Derek can clip it out. You should reach back out. He'd be great.

You should see if, yeah, for the podcast or maybe just for, I don't know, a mentor for Max. Yeah. Can you imagine? Why not? Just like have him come over the house, teach him. By the way, how to be a bruiser. I know Max likes basketball. He could teach him a couple of things.

Dennis is one of the greatest rebounders of all time. People forget that because he is a little bit eccentric, right? But this is a six-time world champion Michael Jordan adjacent supreme athlete, supreme. I've heard it said that I think Phil Jackson was on Rick Rubin's podcast, Tetragrammatin, which is one of my favorites. And he said when Rodman, when they had the opportunity to get Rodman, he went to Michael and Scotty. And he was like, look, we have the opportunity. Obviously, he's known for having, you know, a lot of personality too.

And they were like, hold on. They're like, we can get him. Because when we have to play him, it sucks. Like, please get him. And you're right. People forget, like, they said it was scary how well he could rebound. Like, it didn't make sense. He was just, like, a different breed.

He, so many players and, like, this is, like, the problem with the league today. There are no role players. Everybody wants to be the star. And you find that, like, of the best teams, they seem to have still found, like, these guys that want to do their job great. They don't need to be the Michael Jordan of the team. Rodman knew his job. I'm never going to shoot today.

I'm probably never going to pass today. I'm going to rebound like a maniac. Like you'll see some stat lines where he had no points, five assists, 25 rebounds. Because that was his job, playing defense, grabbing the ball, giving it to Michael. And like, a role player like that is completely indispensable. Not everybody can shoot.

there's only one person shooting at a time. So like the best teams are comprised of guys that like want to benefit the team. And that was Rodman. God, I loved him. We'd love to have him on the podcast. Denny Rods. He Rod. I see that for us.

Is he still with us? That's so, it's actually a great call. He could be dead. Is he? I don't think so. He's probably working at the Middle East conflict. Totally. 64.

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miss an episode. What else is going on with you, Benjamin? Everything's wonderful. You know, just out here in the Hamptons growing our beautiful boy, Ruby's just splendid. He slept last night, Josh, from 830 to 4.30. Ooh, we got a new swaddle. Have you ever, have you ever tried? I don't know the name of it. It's an arms up swaddle. Of course. It's cute. This is, this is, This is great. First of all, it's significantly easier to put on. You don't have to do the whole wrap and wrap, which, look, if you're a pro, it's no big deal, right? Like us, it's no big deal. That's it. His natural tendency, he gets out of the swaddle, he goes like this. So somebody sent to us as a present. This is a wonderful gift. And we tried it. And he's sleeping longer. I think because he's no longer trying to, like, struggle to get out of that tight swaddle. He's just, he's just here. He's just chilling. He's just. So he's wonderful. Claude is wonderful. Everything is great.

I made a gorgeous. I don't know if you saw. I made a gorgeous sea bass corn chowder yesterday. Josh, this was fantastic. Such a good soup. It was probably 100 degrees. I was eating it outside,

regretting every choice that I made to make it. But it was so unbelievably delicious. And everything is, everything is just dandy. Just dandy. My friend would smoke. cigarettes, mostly because he's a drug addict in 110 degree days in the San Fernando Valley, which I don't know if you know about, do you know anything about the valley in L.A.?

Like, you've seen the movie Clueless. You know what people say about the valley? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, I have a love for it because I grew up there. It's the working class suburbs of Los Angeles. And, but it is a literal valley. So it gets absurdly hot. It could be a 105 degrees there and 75 degrees. in Santa Monica the same day. Wow. And so respect to f***, he would rip a dart in a hundred and five degree weather. And one time he was smoking and a cop rolls up on him and pulls up next to him.

It's like, oh, God, oh, God, oh God. And the cop just goes, how are you doing that? Yeah. I don't know. That's tough. Yeah. That's tough, but really cool. Really cool. It's like a cool thing that he can do. I couldn't do that. I couldn't do it. The second that it gets warm, no, not for me. I can't drink. I can't smoke. I can't do anything. I just have to immediately get cool. Immediately. One more great story about my friend whom I, since I'm going to be telling these stories, make a note of it. Olivia will probably have to bleep his name. Got it. Thank you. He was in Texas.

detoxing from some pretty heavy stuff. And so he decided like any good addict, I'll just do something else that isn't the drug of my choice to ease the process. Sure. So he decides to get drunk in the bathtub. So he knocks down a bottle of tequila and he's like taking a hot bath, hoping that this is going to help and it doesn't and it's not helping. And so he goes, I cannot take this. feeling much more for anyone who knows coming off of opiates is like imagine the worst flu you've ever had times 10 like it's just hot cold throw up coming out of every end of you it's it's the worst body aches like you've never felt and so he decided that he would knock himself out and then so he ran into the wall of yeah of uh i'm sure you know

know, whatever, Spring Hill Suites, maybe, you know, a fair field in. And he's like, he's like, dog. He's like, but like, I couldn't do it if I just ran like, you know, flat. So I ran into a corner. And I was like, dog. That's heavy. And he made himself pass out. He passed out.

Yeah. And then he was like, and it made the next six hours easier. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's built like steel, baby. Wow. What a legend. Can I not bring him down? No, what are we calling him? Rodney?

We can call him Rodney. I like Rodney. Cool. Rodney, the legend. We need Rodney on the podcast, Josh. Oh, man, I got plenty of those. We need to hear these from the horse's mouth. How are you? Talk to me. Tell me Meyer Lemon. Tell me shy. Give me an update. Meyer Lemon is heaven. I'll tell you yesterday I had a first, Joshie first. Have you ever had a proper allergic reaction? That's a really good question because all of my allergic reactions are allergies.

By Zyrtec. Like it's not like... So you're like me. You have allergies, but you don't have an allergic reaction. I've never had my throat close. Well, that's anaphylaxis, but I mean like an allergic, like hives from your head, head to your toes. Like a rash all over? Not all over.

in a singular spot. I've had a hive, not full body hives. Olivia, you allergic reaction? I have not had like full body hives, but I have asthma. So I've had like asthma attacks from allergies, but not. No wonder we get along. Exactly. Kindred spirits. But no, not like full body hives ever.

So I had my first allergic reaction of my life yesterday. And it was freaking cute. Okay. So it was perpetuated by and- We have to start it just because it's, It's going to be the YouTube thumbnail. Josh almost died! Cut this in, Jasmine.

That's 100,000 views. Wait, tell me what happened. You almost died? No, no, I didn't have anaphylaxes. But, okay, so, and I know I dropped this on the Terry episode, but we can feel free to jump in here. So it was time for my, as we know, I've been microdosing the terseps. Yes, yes, VH. So it was time for my stick.

It was time for my inject. Yes. And so I did that in the morning. Where are you putting it, by the way? Where are you injecting? Keyster. What do you think of that? It's bold.

It might be. You a stomach king? Yeah, I guess you don't really have fat around your stomach. I mean. Like, so there's not much of a place to, God, you look like Marky, Mark and the funky bunch. You're ripped. Yeah, I guess you have to do it in your ass because that's where you got it.

I can pull here. I can pull here. I go. all around. The only thing I'll never do is the hips. It's too scary. I'm not touching my hips. I like the inner thigh. Inner thigh is a good place to do. Stop at the inner thigh. Olivia. Are you okay? No, not at all. That sounds awful. The inner meat. Yeah. Yeah. That's all fat, baby. That's all fat right there and that meat. This podcast sucks. And then right on the unsubscribe, everyone. Hold on, Ben. You're going. Okay. You're like, hey, Claude. Um, um,

Can you get Ruben ready for the beach? Yeah. Bam. In. Yeah. Not frequently, but sometimes, yeah. No, it doesn't hurt. You don't even feel it.

You don't feel it at all. I wouldn't want that licked, let alone poked. Oh, yeah, it pokes. It's great. You go inner thigh, I go belly. If you go, by the way, don't go in the same spot more than once. Be careful because you can get a little bubble pocket if you keep injecting in the same places. what happened to you? No, no, no, but you get the little itchy sometimes, right? You'll have a little

histamine reaction. Correct. I'm just like you. You are. We're closer than ever. Okay, so what happened? So I pop myself with that MBD, no big deal, not even thinking about it. Great. You know, it's from, I get mine from the great Craig Conover, Conover Wellness, shout out Dr. Conover, the best. Never let me. Not to be confused with Craig Conover, Star of Southern Charm. I really, I just can't wait for him to like, I'm sure he, gets it every day. I think he told us this, but like, people must think he's just like a farmer man. Yeah, farm a man. Really, he's just like a, I don't know, reality star business owner. They're so different. But they're also, aren't they both in South Carolina? Yeah.

What are the odds? I know. Yeah, I get my injections from a guy who sells pillows. come to sewing down south on Tuesday for a terseptitide injection and a pillow for your love seat yeah that's funny but you know and the doctor the great doctor conover he's been I've been injecting stuff from him for for years on the peps or the NAD and so like I knew that I knew that it couldn't be from that but The problem was that I also have been very dry.

Been dry, dry, dry, dry, dry. Because I'm constantly washing bottles and stuff. My hands are in hot water. So, like, my hands are cracking. My feet are cracking. I always put moisturizer on my face, but never really. I'm not like a body lotion guy. I feel like a bereaved wife in a one-hour drama when I put on lotion.

It's too much. I totally agree with you. People, men, and there are men, that lotion, like really lotion. Come on. Just tell us that you jerk off 24-7. That's the only reason you got that lotion. Okay. I see you, pal.

I see you with your seravit. Okay? Okay. That's not for your hands. Okay? That's not for you. Sarah V. That's for your grungle.

Gross. You're nasty. Aiden, I know you're gooning again with you. Seravig. You're always gooning with your serrivy. It's horrible. Your grandmother was in Auschwitz, and here you are gooning with you seraphie.

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Again, that's Goodwipes.com slash good guys to get your free wipes. They're free. Why not? They're free. Good wipes, because butts. deserve better. All right, you have an allergic reaction. I find some lotion that is just, I don't know, it's under my sink, bro.

This is how much I don't think about this kind of stuff. It's three plus years old. I go, oh, this looks like nice stuff. So I, like, lather up the old hands, lather it up, like, on my feet and, like, my legs a little bit. And I don't think twice. And now I'm just, I'm rolling calls. I'm in my day.

And throughout my call for about 40 minutes, I'm like, I'm getting steps in, right? So I'm walking from each side of my house, getting steps on the call. But my palms are itchy. And then my neck. And then I'm just like starting to get hot. And I'm like, what is this? And then I go in and I look. And I now have, when I tell you, webs of rash all over my body, all over my trunk, as I told my wife.

My trunk. I am in a full breakout. And so I finally, I'm like, I literally end the call abruptly. I'm like, I'm so sorry, I have to go. I run upstairs. Pages literally got beautiful Meyer in her arms. And I go, I think I'm having an allergic reaction. She goes, you're having a full-blown allergic reaction, kid.

Like, you're red all over. And I'm like, we should go to the hospital. She's like, no, we shouldn't. You have never had this, but... Take a Benadryl. I know. So I take now, but remember now, right? Now, all the wheels are spinning.

I know it's not from the Terseps, but I start going, this is what you get, you fuck. They were right. All these people, it's for diabetics. What am I doing? Right. I go like, a hundred, you lose 100 pounds without and that. You're just greedy, you're crazy.

You're great. So what do I do? I go and I take a medicinal dose of Zyrtec, which, by the way, this is not medical advice. This is just what I did. But I took two right away because I know I have a buddy who has an allergic. My buddy Len has something called angioidema and his doctor once told him, take two. It's better. Look, if Zyrtec D is a thing, why not take two regulars?

desert tech. Why not? Sometimes I do it for fun. One in the morning, one at night. Sometimes I chew it. Do you? No. Yuck. That would be sick. I pop to and now I'm laying in bed, but I'm like, I think I'm like monitoring my breathing. I run and I go get my pulse so meter from downstairs. So now I'm taking my oxygen levels and my heart rain. I'm next to beach. She's feeding by her. I got my finger up with the pole socks. I'm doing a double pulse check. with my hand and I'm like FaceTime the kid's pediatrician because we're our wonderful pediatrician

Dr. Jesse who we're friends with like she's cool and so and I literally I'm now so now I'm watching the levels of my oxygen go up

97, 98 okay I'm going to live 95 96 I go this is not good this vacillation this is

that's low it's not low. 95 and above is pretty good. Really? But thankfully I'm here. I'm fine. If I got a 95, I'd be bugging out. By the way, you only own that because of COVID, right? Initially, but again, not medical advice, but I'm sure you have one or if not get a new one.

I find it's a wonderful, a really good thermometer, which sped in the dough for a really good one because you want one that's accurate and works with a kid. and oxygen is a great initial test of how sick your kid is. And so, you know, those nights where they're so congested, obviously they can't take any medicine for that, and they're a little wheezy or they're like certain things, I'll just immediately pop that on, take a temp. And if their oxygen's 95 and above and they're not in distress,

I can kind of go, all right, we can take a beat. Like this isn't rush to the hospital moment. So it, for us, just speaking for myself, it is a good tool. But nobody owned them before COVID, right? Probably not. This wasn't a household item. I'm just sitting here thinking to myself,

whoever produces the pulse of pulse oxometer is made a killing the last couple of years. I have multiple. And all I have to say is mine is always at 99. And if I saw it at 95, I would have thought that I was needed to go to the hospital. I didn't know that I thought, I thought 95 was bad. It's not.

Bring, bring yours in next week and we'll put it on throughout the app. Wow, these things are really getting fucking great. These episodes can lose their podcast. And I promise you it'll vacillate between 95. Anything under 95 is troublesome, but even between 90 and 95, you're pretty stable. But it's just not ideal. Interesting. Okay, good to know.

Good to know. I will no longer fret. I will no longer fret. But yeah, that was like the classic. You'd get COVID. You'd throw on that pulse oxymeter. And you decide in that moment if you were going to live or die. Yeah.

And you're right. People probably made a lot of money from pulse oxymeters. I'm starting to think that people who made the vaccines probably made some dough too. I'm just going to. Maybe. Bites are made out, okay? Nah, they lost money. Do you want to get to a speak pipe?

Yeah, I do. Wait, but you're fine. You popped a couple go texts. It all went away. Yeah, and I realized I've never had an allergic reality. And wait, so you were allergic to your hand cream. It was a cream. It was 100%.

Because I even said to the pediatrician, she called back. I was like, I was like, I'm baby. Baby to hurt. I love you, Dr. Jesse. She's the greatest. And she's like, but how, she's like, you've been taking this terseptide now for like two or three months, right? Like no issues.

I'm like zero. And she's like, what did you do today that was different? I was like, the cream. She's like, how old is it in like three years? She's like, you're an idiot. I didn't know that cream expired either. Not your fault. Brand of cream?

I don't want to drag them. Fine. It's me with the sensitive. Big brand. Not that, but yeah, fairly big. All I have to say, go buy yourself some nice keels. Best, keels best. So good.

Fantastic. It's like goop. You stick your hand in this big tub and you come out of it with the just gorgeous amount of moisturizer. And no one will ever think. What word did you use instead of yanking the chain? We're jerking off. What did you use?

What did I say? Gooning. Gooning. No one will ever think you're gooning if you have a tub of keels. Okay? No one will ever think that. That's the anti-goon. You wouldn't waste it on a goon.

Only billionaires goon with keels. That's why they had to take keels out of the Equinox. Too much gooning. It's like a TMZ video like, Jeff Bezos has been seen Cooning with Kiel's. How rich is he? He's in his own private Amazon. Or we can get to a story. You want to speak pipe?

You pick SpeakPipe with who's your stalker at? Is he still around? No, I don't even mention him, bro. I sent you all the screenshots, right? You did. It's too much. This is the last time we're mentioning you. You're scaring, Josh.

Okay? You're not Hanavi. I'm scared of you. Okay, if you want to leave us a message, get some advice. Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys. Don't give us your what are you nuts. We don't like them. Keep a brief.

Brevity's key. Let's hear from Maddie. Let's hear from Maddie. Hey, good guys. Love the pod. Love being a huge moron. I just had a quick question with a follow-up. So have you guys ever realized that the way you guys talk about hanging out in food is the way long-distance couples have bone sex?

Just two different topics. I mean, you're coming up with scenarios, different fantasies, what you're going to eat for your appetizer, your main course, your dessert. Anyways, my main question is, as two city boys that grew up in New York, I'm guessing neither. you guys have gone camping. What would your camping spread be? That's what I want to know. I need some inspiration. I'm going camping in a few weeks.

So just let me know. Great, great to speak pipe. I have gone camping, but also, before we get there, yes, Josh and I are in a long-distance relationship. Fact. I have gone camping. Camping is the absolute best. That said, in terms of a spread, you're limited.

Okay? You're limited on the spread. Depends on how far you're camping. My personal opinion would be you bring some type of a grill that you can set up, bring a little charcoal, throw something on the strong guys back, and then bring some meat, throw it on ice. Of course, if you're going for like five days, the meat's going to go rancid, no good. Then you need a pack what, nuts, beans, a can of beans, you open it with a can opener.

But if you're going to the camping that I think that you're going, then bring some hot dogs, bring some burgers, keep them on ice, go set up a little charcoal grill. God, there's nothing better than that. Start a forest fire, you know, it's cute. Camping the Palisades. I love it. Josh, have you been camping? I've never been.

You'd love it. You'd love it. It's great. It's fantastic. It is. Look, and I'm not saying that you do it for a long time. these people that go for three, four days. That's what are you nuts?

One night. One night. That's it. Honestly, you don't really need to sleep there. Go, set up, have s'mores, and then go and stay at a hotel. That's called glamping. Totally. And now that there's been modern innovation with these little inflatable, portable,

like sleep mattresses, I feel like in the 90s growing up, it was pretty like not great. But now you can actually like, to me, it was just like, the sleeping on the ground, which was a non-starter. I can't. It's interesting. I can't. Or is it you're just so exhausted from the day? You just conk out.

You're tired. These sleeping bags are really not that uncomfortable. Like, I used to always feel claustrophobic if I didn't open the bottom of the sleeping bag so I could poke out my feet. I think people who fully seal it up, that's a what do you know. It's too hot. Okay, too hot. But you leave little room for your feet at the bottom.

It's the bed. It's the blanket. You bring your own pillow. Your back is going to be, it's more aligned than it's ever been, Josh. It's fantastic. You're letting nature take its course. I want to tell you something that I am going to cut out. What?

I do like mental cosplay in my head sometimes at night. And I think it's slightly grateful and slightly mushugah, where I tell myself that I'm like a homeless person that just came out, came in from the street and I was so cold. I'm leaving it in. What the hell? Oh my God. All right.

And so like while I'm like bundled up under the covers and the sheets and just like, oh, thank God. I'm like just so big. By the way, that's a nice way to settle into enough. Yeah. You're in your warm bed for the first time. You're like, who is this woman that I get to sleep next to? Because I've been on the streets. Yeah, it's been rough out there. You're nuts. That's funny. I think for, don't you think too, though, if you didn't want to refrigerate anything, what would be great? Like, I love, I guess you'd have to bring like a little one of those mini stoves, but I love oatmeal. I guess you could do what's it called, you know, the next day oats. What's it called? Overnight oats.

Oats you could bring. And we make those in our, when we're done with a peanut butter jar and there's like peanut butter on the sides, we'll do overnight oats in there. So you bring a couple of those. You could do like a full, like, isn't there some cheeses

that don't need to be refrigerated? I don't know. I've thrown like a loose polio in my bag and had it the next day. That was like kind of gross. But I don't think I was going to die. I don't think they're refrigerating. Like when you,

when they split open like a parmone Merojon wheel or whatever. That shit's not refrigerated. No, but like, who wants like warm blue? Like, yeah, you don't need to refrigerate blue cheese because it ferments, but like imagine having warm blue. Yum. But like, you get like, I think you could bring a nice charcutory spread.

Like you could definitely bring like some canned. I mean, granted, you're not going to be hooking up some canned fish. No, canned fish and some big ass deli meat that you literally like throw over your back, like a big salami log. Like a quasi-sik shirt. Yeah. Fantastic. Ooh, I love it.

I think that's a move. A really sharp machete. Just like Fruit Ninja, that big beautiful salami. Mm-hmm. Wow. All right, we are in a long-distance relationship. That's Big Five was right. These are what we're doing.

Beautiful salami. I want a fruit ninja, you. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Applebee's, folks. The Two for 25 deal is back. That's right. You get two entrees and an appetite. for just 25 bucks. And this economy, completely unheard of.

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Okay, so go into Applebee's today and get their two-for-25 deal with brand new dishes. For a limited time only, guests can choose one appetizer and two entrees like the new chicken parmesan fettuccini and new big bang and burger for $25. That's all, folks. That is all. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Pro Lawn, folks, swimsuits, sunshine, and spontaneous plans. Yep, summer is here.

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savings. Pro-Wan is offering Good Guys listeners 15% off site-wide, plus a $40-Bon-Bon-Sit when you subscribe to their five-day nutrition program. Just visit ProlonL-L-L-L-L-I-F-E.com slash good guys to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. ProOnLife.com slash good guys. Okay, next one's from Kara. Hey, morons. Let me know if I am being a moron. So I'm having my first baby in September.

Congrats to you, too, on your two beautiful babies. I'm also having a boy. So I created a gift registry for my baby shower, and I included things on there that literally cost, you know, $5 all the way up to $250. all new things because this is my first baby. I had somebody invited to the baby shower that sent me a text message. They went out of their way to send a text message to say,

aren't you getting hand-me-downs from your sisters and friends? Am I nuts for thinking that's like crazy to go out of your way to ask me that? This is my first baby. I don't have anything. My sister has four kids. So most of her stuff is absolutely trashed and she's not giving it to me. It really, really annoyed me for about the past three weeks, because that's how long ago this happened. So let me know if I'm crazy.

Love you guys. Thanks. You're not crazy. This is no friend. Like who comments on somebody's registry? Just don't buy it. Like, that's what are you nuts? Like registries are places where you put things that if somebody should want to buy you a gift,

this is what you'd hope. And you said that you put things from $5 to $200. $5. It's the nicest registry ever. The fact that you give. somebody an opportunity to give you a $5 gift, that means that you're a great friend. And you don't care about like the materialistic things and this person to come out of your way and say that you shouldn't put clothing on it because you have hammy downs is just like a nasty

person. So no, you're not a moron. She is. She's a, she's a moron. And it's your first kid. Like, there are people who have like, like, you were sweet enough to ask, do you guys have a registry? But of course, for our third kid, we would never register for a thing because. Sure. It was so nice that people actually were like, oh, you're having a third kid like six years after your first. You probably need some updating. Let us gift you some stuff and shout out baby list. But yeah, we wouldn't register because it would just feel like pushing it.

But your first kid, like, it's so wonderful to get all this new great stuff. Like, it takes a village. It's amazing. And, like, putting Ruby in, like, a new cute outfit is the best. And we definitely couple it. Like, he uses some of, like, Jackie's kids. onesies or like whatever. Sure.

But like, yeah, you should have some new stuff that you actually picked out. I wonder if that girl, does she have any of her own clothing or she only wears hammy downs? Right. Like, it's like a crazy, it's a crazy, crazy thing to say. One quick comment on registries. If somebody has a registry, the only appropriate thing to do if you're not going to shop from the registry is to give them a gift card to somewhere like an Amazon where it's easy to shop. do not go to a random store and buy them something that they do not need because maybe they don't shop there.

Maybe it's nowhere near them. And they now have like some loose $40 credit to home goods. Home goods would be great. But like I've seen this before and it's like you think that you're doing something nice by getting something from somewhere random. Get it. Make it convenient for the person. So just in case they have to make returns. That's all.

Oh, I have five-year-old Jamba juice and Coldstone Creamery gift cards. Yeah. When am I going to use it? Exactly. No, there's nothing. I mean, Jamba, give it to me. I'll use it in the Newark Airport. But besides that, I don't know where another Jamba is.

In Coldstone, I'm ready to buy all the coldstones and turn them into my chicken Emporium. I mean, I love those places, and I've been over the last five years. But, like, I don't carry those gift cards with me all the time. And I'm not going to say, you know, there is no reason to get somebody a gift card to a specific place. I'm now thinking about this for the first time, Josh. And we both love restaurant gift cards. Why wouldn't just in case, let's say you wanted to get me a gift card to Hillstone?

Why wouldn't you get me a $250 gift card to American Express and write in the note? I recommend you use this on Hillstone. But in case you don't, you can use it on something else. You know, I don't believe in those. You know I don't believe in those. in credit cards like that. Yes, because you got screwed from that random company. But it's fine.

Aix is fine. What was the name of the one that still owes you $300? Gift card granny. You have to believe in an American Express gift card. There's nothing wrong with it. You can use it anywhere on anything. No, shout out American Express. It's an incredible company.

Not as good as Discover. But no, my beef is not with the credit card companies. They're wonderful. My beef is just like, if you're truly going to get, Why add a step? Just hand me $300 $300 in. Oh, cash.

Sure. Sorry. The King's gift. Don't dress it up. Yeah. The King's gift is cash. I'm just saying the restaurant gift card, now that I'm thinking about it for the first time,

why can't it be a heartfelt note with $300 that says, I hope you use this at Hillstone. That's what it was intended for. Just in case Hillstone is booked out for the next three months and you want to use this $300 on something else. Feel free. Love, Josh. Amazon, babe.

Yeah, Amazon's great. Amazon is unbelievable. You can use it for anything. I think Uber's pretty good too, because not only can you use it on rides, you can also use it on ordering in Uber Eats. It's the same general credit. Wow. Pretty good, right?

Should we get to our Woody and Nuts? Yeah, we should. Our Waddy and Nuts moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and tall, whatever, sticking in your craw. You got one, babe? I do. I do. It's the French bulldog breed, Josh. The entire breed is a wadia nuts. Claudia and I are out to a gorgeous sushi meal. We're sitting outside me, Claudia and Ruby. It's outside sort of on the sidewalk. And there's a woman sitting with her French bulldog on a bench.

Like next door. She's not in the restaurant. She's just there with her dog. Her dog is there. like the whole meal for an hour this dog is so and that's not because it was thirsty it's because these dogs are bred to not be able to breathe french bulldogs all of them die bulldogs die the breed they can't breathe what are you nuts stop torturing these animals by buying them i'm sorry this is not an animal that should exist i'm sure you have a beautiful french bulldog that you love because he's cute, but he can't breathe, sister. He can't breathe. Word up.

It's really a dual, Waddyanuts. It's against the breed, but it's also, if you have a loud fucking dog, take him away from me, okay? I'm trying to eat in peace. You hear your dog. He's like a noise machine. You missed out on the first biggest what do you nuts, Ben, which is, why's your dog at the restaurant?

No, he wasn't. The dog is on a park bench across the street next to the restaurant. You know how all of these restaurants now have outdoor seating that's basically just on the street? So right next to it, there's a public bench. And the dog is sitting on the bench and you can hear this dog from the bench. But I also think I recently saw this woman have a dog in Target. And I was like, we're at Target. Like, mm-mm.

And this was not a special, you know, this was not a fake service dog. Is that what you were going to say? Yeah. This isn't something where you printed it out online and said that it's a service dog and brought it in. You're like six people in the world with real service dogs. Okay, you with your chihuahua, I'm not falling for that shit. I'm just, yeah, I feel like we're losing some decorum. But yeah, don't bring your dog to.

Also, it's an inconvenience for you to bring your dog grocery shopping. You need your hands. What are you doing? The dog doesn't want to be there. Okay. No. I think your dog likes Publix. I mean,

maybe, but. You think it would. What does Fido want to fucking PubSub? Yes. Leave him at home. Yes. Okay. My Woody and Nuts is,

I don't know if you heard this, but we were on tsunami watch here on the West Coast. It, like, maybe. Okay, yes, tell me. Okay. Olivia?

Yes. Did you bear down? Did you batten down the hatches? God, no. How could it have, not to, yeah, that's just a what are you nuts? I don't want to make light of obviously tsunamis can be terrible events. But what was interesting was, thank God, after the threat had passed, there were all these videos of different California cities.

And they go, look at the tsunami waves in Redondo, bitch. Look at this. They're just waves. Not so black. These are the, what are you nuts? Show me. Give me a wave. You're going to give me a wave. 50 feet, 60 feet. This was like, I could boogieboard this. This is a tsunami wave. No, no. Fear mongering. No good. Don't fear monger with the weather.

Also, L.A., what are you nuts? You got the highest, the heat, the warmest of warm and the coldest of cold. It's crazy over there. Fires and tsunamis. We're nuts. We got it all going on, babe. You know what else is nuts, Josh? You not giving this episode five. stars. We started with Dennis Rodman. We made it all the way at tsunamis. What are you nuts? Listen to us wherever you get your podcast. Watch us on YouTube. Share our clips, Instagram, and TikTok. Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see you next time. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.