Good Guys - Knicks Fever & Delusional Little League Parents

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Mazel morons! This week the Knicks are in the Finals, Josh coached his last Little League game of the season, and the guys are spiraling about their pant sizes. Plus: the most caloric chain restaurant apps ranked, Ben mistakes decorative sand for chia pudding, and Josh's beef with pocket watches. What are ya nuts? Love ya! Write us! Send your messages to [e-mail]  Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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back to the Good Guys podcast. Josh, I am freaking out. Okay? I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out because I'm freaking out because regardless of when this podcast ends up bearing, sorry if it's like two weeks after the NBA finals. We are recording it before the NBA finals and let me just explain because I haven't had a chance to fully talk with you about this.

You grew up in New York. You understand the way that this city rallies around the New York Knicks probably more than anything. Like people pretend like, oh, it's the Yankees. It's not the fucking Yankees. I'm sorry, people wear the Yankee hats. The New York Knicks, it's a completely different animal. Like, I don't even know what to do with my unchecked emotions.

Like, I really like, I'll just find myself randomly during the day. I'm ready to cry. I don't understand. How did we get here? Me too, but not about sports. How did we get here? Like, how are the Knicks? Josh, they've won 11 straight games in the playoffs by an average of 21 points.

Okay? They're the greatest playoff team in NBA history heading into the finals. Jalen Brunson has the greatest plus minus in the history of the NBA playoffs, which for people that's very sports jargon. Plus minus is every minute that he's specifically on the court or the Knicks winning or losing. He has the highest margin of any player in NBA history when he's on the court this playoffs. And now we get to play the San Antonio Spurs that Sebastian Manascoco is rooting for. That is just a beyond as shunda.

This guy, Sebastian Manascalco, a San Antonio fan. You know how much New York loves you? I saw you at the garden. I know. Like, not at the Alamo. Good luck getting a chicken parm in San Antonio. No disrespect. I love that river walk and I can't get enough of the.

Alamo. But what are we talking about? You know, Charles Barclay's bit, he's like, you only go to San Antonio if you're looking for big women and churros. He says that on TNT. He's crazy. I'm not going to even try it, Charles Barkley, by again. He's so funny.

He's just, like, uncancellable. He's just, like, on primetime. He's like, you'll only go to San Antonio if you want big women in churros. I don't know if this is disrespectful, but I hope it's a lovely. disrespect is that meeting Charles Barkley in person, the tush on this guy. God, does he have a beautiful butt? Wow. Wow, I'm jealous.

Oh, my God. What a tush. I love seeing a good juicy ass in person, don't you? Especially on a nice man. You know he was swinging those hips, though, to get people out of the paint, boom. You know what I mean? Get out of here. He, by the way, we are brothers in row with him, okay?

Are we? He's a big row.com guy. I think he's one of their main ambassadors. He's been on a GLP and he is looking slender. Yeah, Ro, it's not going to help you grow. It's going to help you shrink. It's going to help you shrink. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. I'm sure that this is inappropriate. My dad, he won't hate this, though. My dad's ass completely gone. Really? Oh, yeah. He always had a bit of a flat touch, even as a larger gentleman. He has zero ass.

Zero. Zil. I have no tush either. I have a tush. I have a fat ass. Wow. It's now a fat slightly... What's it?

Compare it, because I want to say respectful, compare it to a fruit snack. Is it like a nerds cluster? Is it a gusher? Is it a ho-ho? I think... Is it a ring being? Right now it feels like a gusher that you bid into.

sucked out a little bit of the middle and it's just sitting there like not a full gusher. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? It's like a yodel. It's an eaten yodel. It's an oatmeal pie.

It's a zebra cake. I think a zebra cake. Gosh. And, yeah, I have a juicy ass. I and I have juicy thighs. Sure do. And that's why, no matter how, much weight I lose. Big pants. Big pants, Josh. I'm still wearing a 38. That's okay.

Sometimes I'll wear a 36. Depends on the brand. Claudia tells me not to think about sizes. Maybe think about it. I'm like, okay, I'll try. She's like, why don't you just do Bloomingdale's go and get your size? Like, what do you mean? I'm aspirational when I shop. I'm a large. And then I put on the shirt and I'm really an extra large. And she's like, why didn't she just get an extra large? It's like because I worked this fucking hard to be an extra large. Do you know at the height of my weight loss like right in the final season of Drake and Josh? I was a medium. Can you imagine?

A medium t-shirt. 170 medium t-shirt. No muscles. No hope. But not a lot of that. A medium t-shirt is really fucking sexy. What was your biggest pants size? 44.

That's hot. It's hot, right? That's hot. I know hot. Hot. That's hot. And that was in hip hop wear. Like if you're 44 waist in fucking Pelle, Pele, Pele, like you're a 44 waist in echo jeans.

You're a fat fuck. 44's really nice. I was a 40. My largest jacket size was a 50. A 50 jacket's a big jacket. It's a huge jacket. It's getting close to tarp. A 50 jacket.

I'll put back on sometimes. I'll just like grab, because I don't throw anything away. I'll just like grab a jacket, a suit jacket, and I'll put it on. And I'm like, oh my God.

I was this. A 50 is so big. So big. I'm imagining a 50 jacket where the tailor just unrolls a big thing of fabric, cuts two armholes and goes, done. Oh, man. And these are not European sizes, by the way. It's not a European 50.

No, we'd be, I'd be European 60. These European size is disgusting. Triple X for Liberquin. Like it fits like a large. What are they trying to say? I know. I don't know why they do that. Like a, literally, like a Paul Smith, I remember. I remember I'd go into Bloomingdale's. All I wanted was a cool Paul Smith. shirt when I was 280 pounds. And I'd go, I'd pick up a double X. I swear on my life, I couldn't even get it over my head. Like, they're so small, these European sizes.

Tell me if I maybe look at it through rose-colored glasses, because it may be me, but like I was in Europe. I was in the south of France in Montpellier, Montpellier. Montpellier. Wow. Wow. And I remember I was there and it was rainy and I didn't plan. And so I just went to like a mall.

So like a regular middle of the mall type store. And I bought a standard black rain coat. I think it was like 90 bucks. It was my favorite coat for 15 years. It just fit beautifully. And it wasn't anything crazy special. Like is that, am I nuts or is it just better in France? You're not nuts.

I think it's better everywhere. From a clothing perspective, I had a similar experience. weirdly in Portugal. I think just when you know that they made it, it's just better. Like we're going to a department store. I don't know who the fuck made it.

I don't know when they made it. I don't know how they made it. You're looking at the, you're looking in the eye of the maker. And he's selling you, the coat off his back for $90. And that $90 meant a lot to him because you came into his store.

But he didn't make it. This is a middle of the model French store. You looked in his eyes. It was there, Hollister. And he sold you the coat off his back. You're like, Ben, who's Abercrombie? Yeah, what the hell? No, there's something about buying things overseas.

It's just an experience. He also, you like, you like brought it back and you're like, was it a P coat? Oh, you said it was a raincoat. Yeah, it was a good-looking raincoat. Yeah, I just, you probably always felt when you wore it like you were in Paris. And there was something nostalgic about throwing it on. I don't know, I'm with you on that. It was a great coat.

But I also remember that when my wife, and I were in the, we were in the boat. We were in Italy, in Pula, Italy, right? So it's like, completely removed from like a major city. And my wife was six months pregnant and her luggage was lost. And it was an issue. So she had nothing. No underwear, no nothing. I'm like, oh, this is as bad as bad can be. So I remember I went and your boy had only a carry on. because what do we talk? I was like one week? You think I can.

You do care. Be a professional. The power move. So one day I just felt so darn bad for her. So I have the hotel drive me to a Italian Walmart. And I thought, even though I didn't speak Italian, if I said English words in an Italian accent, they'd get it, you know? So like the woman worked at the makeup section.

And I literally said, her bronzer Bronzer Bronzer and she looks at me and goes Sunblock and I was like oh fuck

and then I had to get my wife some you know some delegates some underwear garments and I just remember that it was like very their entire selection was extremely 90s like a lot of polyester, a lot.

Like, there weren't like any basic cotton, like the way you'd get from skims or something. It was like a lot of lace. My worst nightmare would be underwear shopping for my wife. At Walmart in Italy. Anywhere. Anywhere, that would be my worst nightmare because I would offend her no matter what. I know that no matter what I got,

no matter how earnest I was being, I would offend her. No question. What would you go, like? Was she thankful for the undies? Or was she upset that you ended up getting her lingerie? No, she needed it. And she was like, is she like a pinches? But it's fine.

Let's talk in generalities. So Claudia was to yell at us. What are you going for? I'm going for the most basic cotton. Let's talk about the coverage. Covered, granny panties. That's not going for. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I am 100%. I am, to get the job done, we lost luggage on vacation. I'm not, you're here for function, okay? And by the way, the first thing that I'm going to do, though, is just in case it's of interest to you, I'm going to offer you my underwear. You're not going to want it. You can absolutely have my boxer briefs just in case they do anything for you. They won't. But then I will go out.

But this is really, she would be buying her own underwear. 1,000%. But to play it on the safe side, I'm going function over fashion, 100%. But she's, remember, she's six months pregnant. She's got her feet up. Her ankles are swollen. Okay. Yeah, I'm going to function over fashion.

Function over fashion, for sure. Fair enough. Function, function. Josh, when are we going to stop bringing luggage with us on planes when we have the infrastructure to ship our luggage? Hear me out. Okay. Shipsticks, people in golf know as the premier shipping company. for golf clubs.

50 pound bag, Josh, up to 50 pounds. You can ship via shipsticks for $79 to most places. It shows up within one to two days. Why, Josh, wouldn't it be significantly easier? You put together your luggage, and they offer the same thing for luggage, $79, okay? Why wouldn't you pack your bag, ship it, okay? You don't carry anything on the plane.

It's not getting lost. it's there what do you think I worry about not bringing any luggage on a plane because I don't want to go through TSA and have them look at me and I make eye contact with them and I go tick tick

you know what I'm saying sure sure sure they go you don't have luggage they go like it's a one way ticket sure let's say it's commonplace I agree with you that would be one barrier to get over I'll tell you this let's say we all got over it

here's my Here's my theory on this, Ben. People are unable to change and they're just not used to it. And the idea of adding in an extra step, people will always pick what's uncomfortable and familiar than what might be better and unfamiliar. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do.

You're right. It's like my parents, excuse me, I have tea. Went down the wrong pipe. Mother of God. But it's not the tea's fault because I know. know the people behind St. James and it's a wonderful tea. By the way, so do I. St. James is amazing. I just played golf with their owner, Brendan Cohen. He is the nicest guy. It's, this is great tea. Gorgeous. Great. We're talking no sugar. So happy you mention that. And

where I podcast, it's unbelievable. They have a St. James fridge, Josh. A hundred of them at a time. I got, I got none here. Olivia, you see any here? No. Yes. See some sparkling element. Well, Well, Brendan will get you some. But my parents just on short flights just stopped checking bags, just. But they forever were, even if it was small, they check it. It was just like customary to go wait for your luggage, even if it's like, it's a weekend. Like put it in a check. What are you doing?

People love it. They love to check. They love. the inconvenience of the inconvenience, you know? Is there anything more inconvenient than travel with a checked bag? I can't think of a more inconvenient situation. I'm not a big fan. It's horrible.

It's horrible. I listen, tell me what you think about this. I listen to this podcast called You Be Trippin by the great Ari Shafir, where he has people come on every episode and talk about a place they've been. And so the most recent episode is North Korea. It's so fun. And they really will go into detail about the place that they were at and photos. And so it's nice to live vicariously.

But what I'm hearing now as like a common travel tip is pack half as much as you think you'll need. A, everywhere does laundry. Every country, every village, no matter how small, how, but everywhere does laundry. So if you really need, you can do it. But like, you are going to acquire your shit. Like take half the amount of T-shirts you need and half the amount of underwear and figure it out when you get there. I always end up with four button downs that I never wore. Yeah.

I unpack things that I never wore. And if I could just be decisive in the, like right now I'm packing. I know that I have one nice dinner. Okay. Pick the fucking shirt now, Ben. You don't need to bring four options so you can pick it then. Pick the option now. But no, I always, yeah, I'm an overpacker for sure.

I've gotten better over time. Claudia has been a carry-on since I've known her. She was carrying on before anybody carried on. Love her. And I was originally a checked bag man because I come from a family of checked bag men and women. Okay? But I was converted. And slowly but surely I'm whittling it down,

whittling it down, whittling it down. And now sometimes I pack too little. And I end up having to go shopping. But that's a nice fun thing to do too. You go to a nice. You pay a little bit too much money in a resort shop for a linen shirt. That's fun. So true.

I love it. I love overspending. No, I don't. It scares me badly. I've had to make some big purchases lately on my credit card and I'm afraid to even, I don't even, I have to act like it didn't happen. Are you able to share what these big purchases were?

No, it's all, it's like just plutonium and nuclear vision material, a motorcycle. a motorcycle, and I bought a small, you know, it's an endangered species in every country, including here, but it's a beautiful rug. I had made from a, you know, the animal is just teetering on existence, but I said, how am I going to enshrine and make sure that this one's remembered? I need it as a rug in my salerium. I need it under my feet.

Yeah, yeah, in my Florida room. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Talkspace. Folks, Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy, bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere. First and foremost, let's talk about affordability. Talkspace is in network. Talkspace therapy and psychiatry is covered by most insurers, and most insured members pay a copay of zero dollars.

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I just watched one of the better David Attenborough documentaries that I've seen in quite some time. Tell us. It's a new one called Gorillas. I highly recommend watching it. Nice. It is the Silverback Gorillas. And I, you know, I love Attenborough. I thought it was just a bunch of burly gay dudes in Provincetown.

Gorillas. It's just Joey Kamasston and a couple of butts. I'm like, Ben and Josh, what are you doing more? Yeah. But Josh, you need to watch this. Max would love it. This is just, you get such an up-close look at how smart they are, the way that they deal with conflict.

Like there's this part where one of the, there was a change of the guard, one of the elder guerrillas, killed one of the mother gorilla's infants because he was excommunicated. And they went and beat the fucking shit out of the guy. They beat him up and he was exiled. But you literally watch this. And Attenborough, you know, he's a hundred years old. A hundred.

Yeah. I think that's right. I think he's a hundred. Josh, he's old. He's old and he's killing it. So yeah, gorillas, highly recommend that. I want to think of what other shows I've watched recently. You don't watch Friends with Neighbors, right?

I don't know. I know you love that with this John Hamm. You love it. You watch this show, Olivia. I actually haven't seen it yet. No. Oh, it's so great. He loves this John Hamm and this huge, huge hog.

I'm a huge fan of Ham's ham. Yeah. Yeah, John Hamhawk. That's a blame. Is that what they call? Yeah, but that's what I call. Wow. What else?

You know, it's like, this is when you start questioning whether life's fair. You know, that face, talented and just something to write home about. It's, yeah,

it's his, it's his Geneseeco. Yes. It's that Genesee dick. Genesee quark. I love women. Don't put that on me. I love women.

Like that's sure. Man, just call me Icarus, bro, because they do fly close to the gay sun. But like, I'm telling you, dog,

I love women. We are recording on Pride Day, Josh. We are. It's Pride Month, no? I thought, oh, is it? Yeah. Why is everybody posting today?

Oh, because it's the first of June. Yeah. Got it. Love it. Okay, Pride Month. Shout out. Shout out Pride Month. I love it.

We're here for it. Shout out the Stonewall riots. Shout out. Shout out. I mean, we're allies teetering on participants. On participants. We're allies slash members. Man.

Can we talk a little bit? Give us a Little League update, Josh. How's it going? Little League's over. Brooke Hashem It's done We actually were one We made it to the

I guess what's right before the big game The semis Semis we made it to the semis So we got the pennant Technically right We nice Yeah we won the conference But we lost

We didn't make it Or we lost the conference And then we didn't make it To the World Series But those boys God did they fight They fought And they fought for every inch

And then we had a wonderful closing party, which was really great. And all the kids got rings, got baseball rings, which they didn't win a damn thing. So not sure why they got rings. What are they made of? What are we making of these second place rings? I think they're hard plastic. Okay. Respect.

Very cute. And wouldn't you know it? And our wonderful head coach, Chase, and the assistant coach, the wonderful Tommy, they got me, they got me a gift. for being the dugout dad. Wow. What did they get you? A beautiful,

a beautiful Yeti thermos for my coffees. Wow. And the inscription was my nickname Shua, because he said, we were going to go with Dougout Dad, but we weren't sure whether you'd want that forever. So we went with Shua. It was so nice.

That's very, very nice and thoughtful. I love a useful gift, Josh. I love it. I love it. I actually have a moron mail about Little League, Would you like me to read that to you? God would I. God would I.

And I'll get some weird stories ready. And, you know, it's been a minute since we recorded the podcast, so I've just been writing down observances. People only say, I love your guys' relationship when two uglies get together or two eccentrics. No one ever told Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, I love your guys' relationship. So true. People only say it when it's two uglies. A hundred percent.

That's why what they say about us. They're like, we love your chemistry. It's like, what do you mean you love our chemistry? You mean you love how smoking hot we are? That's what you meant to say. That's what you meant to say. That's funny. Keep going while I find it.

Oh, I found it. But keep going. Okay. I'm trying to think of anything else and that I got nothing. Go for it. Okay. All right. Okay.

All right. Little League. Hey, good guys. I'm a mom of two boys ages five and eight. I coach my five-year-olds. Little League team, and they are currently undefeated with only a couple games left in the season. It's coach pitch, and our team typically practices two to three nights a week. My older son is in his first year of kid pitch.

As you can imagine, pitching is crap, and my son has figured out that getting beamed by a ball or getting walked is more likely, so he refuses to swing the bat. His coaches are amazing and very kind to my son. He has friends on the team and really enjoys going. They do not correct my son, so I find myself yelling instruction. from the bleachers to remind him of the fundamentals we practice at home, looking like a complete psycho. Yeah.

Am I nuts for thinking that having fun is a priority? But following instruction and having hard work ethic is also a priority. Our coaches are very kind and remind him to relax. But hey, buddy, you should be correcting my kid, not his mom from the bleachers. I didn't coach my older son's team because of not wanting to be the only mom coaching and embarrassing him. But I'm afraid I'll have to do that anyways. Love the show.

Wanted to give you guys a glimpse of a little Central PA Little League. Also, don't get me started on the politics of All-Star teams. Oh, my God. Central PA. Ma'am, you cannot scream out at your kid from the stands. It embarrasses him. It embarrasses you. And it is a net negative.

No matter how much you think you are helping, the bigger picture is you are hurting more than you're helping, mostly your reputation because I'm on the side going with this yenta, lock up her lips. No one asked you, miss. It's the worst look ever. You're not his coach when he's playing in the game. Also, if you have that level, if you want that level of competition, Josh, isn't there, isn't there a different league? Like, if you're worried about, okay, kid pitch, bad pitchers, isn't there a league if your son is truly that gifted?

where the pitchers are great because they're prodigies? No? Am I wrong? It's a very common theme that it is the bane of most parents' existence when they first introduce kid pitch because it starts with T-ball. Then it goes to coach pitch or machine pitch. So it's very standardized. And then as soon as the kids start pitching, it's like it's going to be a year or two of misery

because it's really hard to pitch. And they've got to like dial in how they're going to do it. So why don't they practice a little more and why don't we delay kid pitch? Is there not, it seems like we're introducing kid pitch a little bit too early if they can't pitch. This isn't a free for all to see who can pitch. You have a point. You have a point. Yeah.

Especially if they're like, and I don't know if this is like the way that she was describing it, her children are the next Derek Jeter. Okay. So I'm just going to go off the assumption that that's true, even though it's probably not true. And you're probably taking it way too seriously. the next Derek Jeter should have a place to play baseball by getting good pitches. Right. I think, like in basketball, the equivalent of that is AAU immediately.

Like, if you are way better, you're not playing, like, you are, you are being moved into a significantly better league with significantly better basketball players that are older than you, that are stronger than you, that are tougher than you, that allow you to get better and play with them. So if that doesn't exist in baseball, Josh, we got to figure that out. My big brother talks about this, and I agree that his son was playing Little League, and he started to coach with a guy who basically said to him, there was private coaching. And he was like, look, I'm happy to do this and take your money. But the truth of the matter is, like, if he doesn't get significantly better by the third or fourth week we do this, then he's going to hate it. Because like, I'm going to show him what's required for him to move on. in this sport and if he can't do it or he hates it then let's you know maybe we should leave it

here and and find a different sport so it's rough I I have to say that I've only dealt with seven year old and younger group sports for kids and it has made me so disappointed in the human race I mean for real I'm I think people are awful and it's everything we had a clip go viral of me talking how there are kid umpires and how I think it's really cute. And I think you have to be insane to be an adult scream at a kid umpire. And literally the comments were, that sounds like some Hollywood beta fuckass bitch shit. And I'm like, you're like, how did you know? I was like, yeah.

And I was like, it's my sparkle. It's my secret sauce. That's crazy. People are nuts. But like, it's true. Like parents are already getting chippy with seven. year olds. But like, you have to accept that your kid is a loser.

Statistically, your child is a loser. That's the baseline that we need to go into these conversations with. Okay, he's not the next Derek Jeter. And if he is, pull him and figure out something else for him. You can figure it out. There's probably like a summer camp or some field that you can send him to. If he's really the next Derek Jeter. Right.

Okay. The Dominican Republic. Exactly. Send him somewhere, okay? The baseline, Josh, is that these kids are not going pro. These kids are probably not even playing in high school. They're probably not playing in college. They are seven.

They are figuring out if they like the fucking sport. Okay? They're figuring out how to, they're figuring out the rules. Do they know the rules? Well, I'm sure some of them. They don't know the rules. They're going to go pro in fentanyl. Statistically is what they're going pro in.

They're going to go pro in buzz balls, jam. it. So fucking get over yourself. Don't you got a couple spreadsheets to turn into your boss, hun? They're pro-buzz, boss, Janet. Yeah, dude. It's ridiculous.

It's ridiculous. So, yeah, don't yell at your kids. Don't embarrass them. And the kid umps. By the way, it's not like they're, like, okay,

the reason that we get angry, or at least me personally, I get angry when I watch an NDA game and the highly paid official gets it wrong because I start thinking in my head is he being paid? Is something going on in Vegas? Why didn't he call that?

It was blatant. It was obvious. The conspiracy theory start as you're a fan of professional athletes. You're watching a game. Who gives a shit? Obviously the kid hump isn't being paid. Right.

I mean, maybe Janet has that conspiracy theory that he is being paid. But otherwise, who cares? called a ball, a strike, a strike a ball? Who cares? Swing the bat! Swing! There's, by the way, you don't have a problem if you get a hit. Totally right. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Gooder. Folks, let me tell you a little story, okay? I don't know, maybe two months ago I was in Florida and I had just lost a very expensive pair of sunglasses. And I was lamenting. I don't know where my sunglasses are. Of course, I blame my wife. It's not her

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It is the season of Wayfair. Every summer you guys know, we go to a house, beautiful Hamptons. It's absolutely fantastic. And let me tell you, sometimes I treat it like my own home. Sometimes I want to just buy a grill. I don't know, maybe I want to get a canopy. Who knows? And let me tell you, it is outdoor season.

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I like fun. Can you name the top five unhealthiest dishes from American chain restaurants? Olivia, feel free to jump in here. We're talking like fast, casual, right? This doesn't include like an outback steakhouse. This includes absolutely an outback steakhouse. Absolutely. Yeah, because if it includes an outback steakhouse, the bloom and onion is way fucking up there.

Funny you should say that. I think the bloom and onion is one. Number one is the Outback Steakhouse Blumen Onion at a modest 1900 calories. Liars. 1,900. What are you nuts? It's at least 3,000. At least.

Maybe without the sauce. 150 grams of fat, 4,000 milligrams of sodium. The undisputed king of unhealthy appetizers. Wow, I love that I knew that. That is a great dish. Whoever thought of is a genius. Okay. You're not going there.

be healthy. You're going there to have an experience. And the bloomin onion is absolutely an experience. What else is on the level of a blooming onion? I feel like there's got to be something super calorically dense and intense from the cheesecake factory. But I can't think of a specific dish. Number four, the cheesecake factory factory nachos with chicken. Two thousand plus calories, mountains of cheese chicken, sour cream, guacamole, beans, chips. Designed for sharing, but not if you're fat. Well done, Olivia.

Yeah, design for sharing. Says who? Okay, so we have Cheesecake Factory. We have Outback. Sounds like a line at a swinger party. I'm designed for sharing. Yucky. Yucky.

Oh, what are other big, Morton's buttercake? This is appetizers. Oh, abs only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, spinach, spinach artichoke dip. Here's one. Here's a hint.

Magic Johnson owns many of these. Magic Johnson owns it. Is it Applebee's or Chili's? No, it's neither. It's not one of those. It's not one of our marquee sponsors, Olivia. I love Applebee's. I love Applebee's.

Me too. What does he? Me too. Oh, no. What the fuck does he own? I don't know. I can't. You guys call yourself basketball fans.

I'm supposed to know what chain. Why am I so butch? I know what every athlete owns. As we all know. Are you sure that it's Magic Johnson? You're not thinking of like Shaq and it's like wing stop or something. I'm not thinking of Larry Johnson. It's TGI Fridays.

Oh. You were close, Olivia. Okay. TGI Fridays. I love TGI Fridays. Me too. Absolutely delicious. Unreal.

Is it the spinach Artershoek? TGI Fridays? It's the loaded potato skins. It's 1,700 calories with cheese, bacon, sour cream, and fried potato. Surprisingly easy to polish off. That's loaded up. Yeah, those are the most dangerous. Okay. Olive Garden? No, nothing from Olive Garden. Think these are outliers. Think, um, think, here's a clue. Buffalo Wild Wings. Sorry, I had no. Wings from Buffalo Wildlings? No, the ultimate nachos often exceeds 2,000 calories loaded with beef,

casso, sour cream, chips, and sauces. We've definitely spoken about this, Josh, but nachos are a wadia nuts. Are they? I think, yeah, because they are, it's way too easy to put down whole flour tortillas. That's what you're doing, Josh. Or if they're corn chips, whole tortillas. You're telling me you're having four chips. No, you're having a minimum of 40 chips.

You're watching a game. You're having 40 chips. That means that you just had 10, 10 tortillas. 10. It's too easy. It's too easy to put them down. So good. Is it a corn dog?

Is that the last one? The last one was actually Texas Roadhouse. Oh. It's Blumen Onion. They have their version of it. And it's called the Cactus Box. Awesome. Oh, I like that more. That's good branding. I got to go to Texas Roadhouse, the cactus blossom. Who copied who?

I'm assuming Texas Roadhouse, but it actually has 2,200 calories to Outback's 1900. So Outback's a skinny mini restaurant. And yeah, the Texas Roadhouse has a deep fried onion the size of a small bowling ball. Wow. That's like the mark of measurement is the small bowling bowl. Yum. Wow. Starving. I would love that, even though it would make me feel so terrible. Terrible. I want to do this. Maybe we could do this together, although I can't see of a time where you'd be able to be away from home this long. I would like to do, I feel like it would be fun in New York just because of the walkability and the options dietarily. We decide we're going to wake up at like 6 a.m. We start walking at 7. We start wherever. We start in Washington Heights. And we go till 10 and then we have breakfast.

Yes. And then we walk from 11 or 2 and then we have lunch. And then we walk from 3 to 6 and we have dinner. And then we go, you know, another two hour walk, have dessert. Like, so we walk about 10 hours during the day and we have three amazing meals. I love it. I absolutely love it. We just need to hit Washington Heights by dinner.

To go to Golan? To go to Golan. You've told me about. Golon. It's so good. Oh, it's delicious. And we could also, like, if we want to go, like, a little crazy, we could also, there's like some Dominican restaurants there, too.

We could go to Golon and we could get some Dominican cuisine, okay? But trust and believe, Golan Heights, the king. So fucking delicious. And then I guess our desserts in the Bronx, that's probably where we're walking next, Josh, our desserts in the Bronx. It's so hard. Or do we start at a different part of New York and then we walk over the Brooklyn Bridge and end it at.

Lugers. Tuffy. So we start, you know, you might be right. Or we can go there for lunch. Lugar's does lunch. Golon only does dinner or Golan does lunch. Go on never closes. Go on.

Go on. You can go in any time. The Golan Heights does an Easter brunch. Yeah. They're never closed. They're never closed. Yeah, no. Lugers lunch, the burger.

How do we, how do we orchestrate that? So maybe we would have to start in. breakfast in West Chelsea, move our way through to lower Brooklyn, then move our way through. Where are we having dinner? We had lunch in Brooklyn. I don't want to stay in Brooklyn for dinner, Josh. Lugers is out.

Out. Lugers is out. It's out. It's out. Lugers is out. That's too risky. Maybe we go to that place with the honey, the fauccaque, that big stupid pancake. Everyone waits in line for this big butter honey.

I've seen that. I've seen that. Something diner. It's a diner, right? Yeah. I don't know the name. I don't know the name of it. We go. We start and that's like LES. It's downtown. So we start there. Then we make our way east to Brooklyn. Lunch at Lugers. Then we come back and we walk a smooth 190 blocks to go on. I'm in. Oh, I have another idea. We could start at Golan, okay? For breakfast? Walk 190 blocks down, or no, we'll walk, well, okay, we're going to walk 95 blocks down, 95 blocks up, go to Golan for lunch, 95 blocks down, 95 blocks up, and go to Golan for dinner. Just only Golan.

Only go on. Go on. Oh, so good. All right, so I know that Max is, he's a Laker fan, okay? He also, he's been to a couple of Kings games, right? But the boys are rooting for the Knicks, right? If they want, if they like their bunk bed. The boys are rooting for the Knicks.

Yeah, they want somewhere warm and safe to sleep tonight. Oh, Josh. Yeah, it's just, I can't wait for Ruby to be old enough to care. Because Max cares a little. Like, he gets it. And he, like, has fun at games, like, Yeah, we're going to be going off if the next one. How fun is that?

How fun is that? Like, how fun is it to have a son of age to be able to care about a sporting event? It's, uh, it's very cute and very fun. And what I'm really excited about is that I'm going to be taking my boys to the World Cup. Wow. Opening ceremony. Wow. Yeah, it's so far.

I can't believe it. I'm very lucky. I'm very blessed. That's amazing. Mom Donnie got you a ticket? Mom Don's. Listen. Mom.

Franco Leon. You know what I'm saying? Mom Donnie Trump. So we're going to go sit in, you know, in the way-ups, but I just, I love soccer. And we could end. And they're playing the beautiful bottle away. Badaway, baby. Badaway. I need to get, like, I know that the World Cup being here will get me into soccer. I'm into anything that is really good and within my purview.

Like I went to one New York, what's the New York team called? The New York, I don't know, bashes. No, I'm sorry. What is their name? New York Football Club. But that's the Galaxy. No, there's the Red Bull.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, NYCFC. The New York City Football Club. Yeah. That's why I couldn't remember it. What a dumb name. Okay. I went to an NYCFC game, Josh.

This was fun. I enjoyed myself. Yeah. Okay? I did. I could tell that the talent wasn't really there, though. Sure. Okay?

I could tell that it wasn't it. Okay? But I get to watch the best soccer players in the world here. I'm going to love it. If I'm in person, there's, it's a rarity that I don't love it. Okay. Do I need to go to the World Cup? Yeah.

It's all in Miami and in New York. So you can go either side. Wow, when are, when is the World Cup? Is it this summer? Yeah, it's like in a week and a half. My heads in New York, Nickland. I can see nothing else. Okay, so it's coming up.

It's the number. It will be the most watched sporting event in history. It'll be the most watched thing ever on television. How did we get the World Cup? You have to campaign for it. And so, I mean, it's kind of interesting because we didn't get it. The continent of North America got it. So it's all over.

It's in L.A. New York, Miami. It's in Canada. It's in Mexico City. Oh, wow. That's cool. Yeah, it's all over. Okay.

So Canada has it to. We're in Canada. You got to go there. Those are your people. God, do it. Oh, I know. I sometimes ask ChatGBTGPT and I go, should I move to Canada?

And ChatGPT literally goes, no. They're right for that. Yeah, they are. In Canada, it will be in Toronto and in Vancouver. Toronto. in Vancouver, British Columbia. Vancouver would be fun and the weather would be significantly better.

Imagine going in the middle of the summer in Miami to a soccer game. Oh, my, people are going to die. Oh, yeah. Or Guadalajara. In Guadalajara. Wow, beautiful. You can miss me. Too hot.

Near the ocean, Guadalajara. Mexico City and Monterey in Mexico. Monterey. Yes. And then the United States is, yeah, Atlanta, Boston, Dallas, Houston. Oh, I didn't really? How did Atlanta get it?

Yeah, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Miami, New York and New Jersey, MetLife Stadium, Philadelphia, SF, and Seattle. Oh, it's all over. Yeah. So that means that... Wow. You know what it really means is that no one city could handle it? Yeah. That's too much.

Wow. Wow, that's amazing. I hate... I hate MetLife Stadium. The final game is at MetLife. So if you want to try to pull some strings and I'll... I'll miss you. I'll meet you there. Josh, but I don't know how we would.

It is, it is the, it is the biggest nightmare trying to leave MetLife Stadium. We'll do a helicopter. We'll do a hell. That would be the only way. The, if you drive, nightmare. Train nightmare. It's a nightmare. Oh, wait, do you think it's going to line up on our, our secret engagement in American

dream? I think it's in July. But does MetLife have a Marriott courtyard? Like, could we maybe stay overnight? We can sleep in the mall. Yeah. And also, by the way, I'm sure American Dream has a relationship with MetLife Stadium. Josh, maybe we just waive our speaking fee.

No, I'm saying maybe we just waive the fee and we ask them for a ticket's front row. Oh, God. To the final. Actually, I'm not waving that fee. You could give it to me as a tip. What are you nuts? What are you nuts? Are gripes with people, places, and things with big and tall, whatever, stigging your crawled.

Josh, I have a real what do you nuts? I'm ready. Okay. Do you have this place, I think I've asked you this before. You have pliables over there? Yes, a version of. Okay. I love flyables.

I go in New York. I go in Florida. I love their oatmeal that I get. I get their iced coffee. Occasionally I'll get a smoothie. I'll get these protein bites that are 110 calories per ball. What do you get nuts? But there's no added sugar and I convince myself that it's healthy.

I thought, Josh, maybe I would get something new. I'm standing at the counter. I order the oatmeal. I order the iced coffee. And I point to this cup. There's a pliables cup that it looks to me. It's chia pudding. I'm like, can I, oh, can I have that chia pudding with some berries on top?

She said, shea pudding. We don't sell chia pudding here. I'm like, no, it's right there. She's like, sir, that's a cup of sand and seashells. Oh, my God. I was so, first of all, first of all, sand and chia pudding look very similar.

I wasn't wearing my glasses. Not even close. This was so. Not even close, dog. This is so mortifying. I have a hookup for you for lens crafters. This woman Nikki I met over the weekend,

she's like, can I get Ben an exam at lens crafters? He said, I'll connect you. She's like, you mean the sand? What are you nuts? Sir, that's that's clam chowder. Sir, that's sand and seashells. Oh my God. But why'd they put it in a branded cup?

Sir, that's a ship and a bottle. It was really bad. Oh, my God. Got one? My Woody and Nuts moment are pocket watches. Now, this was an invention of the, you know, 17, 18, 1900s, where men would have a watch connected to a chain

that would go into their pocket and they would pull it out and they'd flick it open and they'd flick it open and they'd look at the time and then they'd flick it close and put it back in the pocket. Except straps existed. What are you nuts? There was string.

There were straps. And yet you added all these steps to look cool. What are you nuts? What are you, a conductor? No, it's no good. Even though Josh, I think maybe we should get a pocket watch. No, they're pretty lit. You have a nice watch, though.

And you connected me recently to a beautiful man that maybe it's getting me a nice watch. You think he can source me a pocket watch? No. Do they make like a Rolex pocket watch? They probably, I don't know about Rolex, but yeah, I mean like a vintage one. No, not like a current. I don't think they currently make pocket watches, but like they probably at one point made a pocket watch. That's fucking sick.

You should get like a Richard Mill pocket watch, like a $500,000 Richard Mill. Yeah. Like Steve will do it. Nothing better. Nothing better buying that and nobody even knows I own it. Can you imagine your life? The New York Knicks win the championship and you walk on to center stage onto half court. And you're like, Jay Lynn, look at those.

My Richard Mill pocket watch, I would have to give it to him. he'd think it was a present. You know, I'd show it to him and he'd take it. And that would be really, that would be really bad for me. He would think it's a present. Yeah. You know what else is a present, Josh? The show.

Doing this episode with you, that's a present. This episode's five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on Spotify. Okay, Spotify. The video is unbelievable. This quality I'm looking at it.

I'm like, we recording 4K. What is it, Josh? 5K? What's the new K? It's such a beautiful. beautiful thing. It's gorgeous. Monday and Thursdays, folks, we'll see you. Bada, ba, ba. Bo. Next time. Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old.

You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.cair.com.