Good Guys - Law & Order: Petty Crimes Unit

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Howdy morons! It’s another gorgeous Thursday here with the Good Guys. Today, we’re bringing you all the beautiful ins and outs of Ben’s sister’s recent nuptials- from Ben’s solo to Bruce’s dairy-free deserts, we’re sending a massive mazel to Maddy and Max! We recap our glory days (aka ULTRA 2013,) Morgan Wallen’s recent appearance on SNL, and share our thoughts on leaked messages. Plus, we answer your speakpipes about what to do when your partner smells, birth control (?!) and self checkout. What are ya nuts??  Leave us a voicemail here! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: Find exactly what you’re booking for on Booking.com Right now you can save $20 on your first order AND get free shipping by going to chewy.com/goodguys  Switch to Mint and new customers can get half off an Unlimited plan until February 2. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, and get the plan shipped to your door for FREE, go to MINTMOBILE.com/goodguys Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for receipe inspiration and to purchase Philadelphia Cream Cheese so you can start adding to your recipes at home! The Great Rewards Hunt is on, so join the adventure with DraftKings Casino! For fun-seekers, follow the trail to huge jackpots, weekly bonuses, and exclusive games. Plus, new players can get their losses back up to ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS IN CASINO CREDITS on their first day! Just sign up with code GOODGUYS and start playing to get up to ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS IN CASINO CREDITS back with a minimum five dollar net loss. Only on DraftKings Casino. The Crown Is Yours. Visit www.sleepme.com/GoodGuy to get your Chilipad and save up to $315. Order it today with free shipping and try it out for 30-days. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys. They're not the great guys. We're just so good, good guys.

Look, to all of our new listeners, we have to say this every episode, we have the Drake Bell listeners. They're here. They're here in troves. They're looking for Drake and Josh. They're like, who the hell is this fat man that wasn't wearing glasses that is now wearing glasses? I'm Ben. It's nice to meet you. I will be ushering you through life on the good guys podcast.

This is mine and Josh's podcast. Welcome. We have a great time. We talk about a bunch of nonsense. Sometimes we go a little bit deep. We'll always talk about Judaism. So if you hate Jews, this is the wrong podcast for you. Did I miss anything, Josh?

Only that this is probably like six episodes after the Drake episode. So I feel like we've lost all of the ones that we gained from that app. Oh, no, they're gone. They're gone. I saw on the YouTube comments. Came for Drake. Stayed for the guys. Stayed for Ben.

How great would that be? So good. Imagine you get a massive Latin American fan base. I would love it. I would love it. I'd move in a heartbeat. So would I. Where? Where are you moving? Oh, man. I mean, based on the way that Drake just pumped up Mexico, we could go to Mexico. Oh my gosh. Yes. Beaches. Beautiful weather. A little hot sometimes,

but I'm sure that during the winter, it's just beautiful. I'm better by the equator and I always say that, don't I, Olivia? Yes, you do. Thank you so much. That is something that you frequently say. Yes. You're better by the equator. The equator is lovely. You get a golden tan. I feel like at what point, you do you always need to put on sunscreen, Josh, or do you think that if we lived there, we could eventually develop a nice base coat? Yeah, I, you know, I don't think deeply about melanin, but when I do, I say, yeah, I think so. You think so. You think that we could perhaps develop a nice base coat. And the question is, if you develop a nice base coat, do you then transfer that melanin to your children? So if you have more children, okay, and let's say, I don't know,

Mexican Josh is there for 20 years and pops out another baby. Is that baby significantly darker? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think I hope that my kids are thin, right? Like, did I override my genetics enough? But I think that's impossible. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaking of genetics, my sister just got married. Mazel. And we had a, thank you. We had a beautiful, beautiful wedding celebration. Friday to Monday. it was wonderful. And I bring up genetics because she is the only thin saffer, only thin saffer. Interesting. She, Josh got lucky. And I put this in my wedding speech for her. She got lucky that she was diagnosed with an allergy, a severe allergy to gluten and to dairy. And that's why she's skinning.

That is a blessing. That is the definition of a blessing in disguise. Blessing. Everybody else, my dad, not my mom. My mom is upset that I roped her into the ozempic conversation. But But everybody, everybody needed O Zempic, except my sister. Yes. She's just no gluten, no dairy. I don't know what about gluten and dairy doesn't agree with us, but there's something that doesn't agree with us gluten and dairy because she's a stick skinny. Yeah, I think it's all relative, though, because I know fat vegans.

I just think if you overdo it, you'll find a way whatever your diet is. Yeah, yeah. You'll just overdo it. I remember Rick, you know the great Rick Rubin? Sure. Brilliant producer. has produced some of the greatest music of the last 30 years and now has an amazing podcast, which I'm crazy about, but he was a 300-pound vegan because he's like, I would take down

half a can of almond butter a night. Yeah, you got to be really careful with the nut-based milks, the nut-based spreads. Very, very, very caloric, very caloric, just because you think you're doing yourself a favor with the sunflower butter that, by the way, does not taste good, okay? Sunflower butter is not a proper substitute for peanut butter. In my opinion, okay? In everyone's opinion, my son straight up was like this sun butter, miss me on it, dog. It's a no for me, big dog.

Bad, really bad. And I remember that sunflower, maybe sunflower butter was like the first of the alternatives to peanut butter. Because I remember them at camp. All these kids are allergic to peanuts, peanut free camp. So then you have the sunflower butter and people are making sunflower butter and jelly sandwiches. and this just tastes terrible. This is no good. The sunflower butter almost has a chalky taste.

It's awful. Who's milking a sunflower? No clue. No clue. Get alive. And we've spoken about this at Lane. This whole alternative nut butter's, not milks. It just, it's not milk.

It's almond skin mixed with water. That's what it is, Josh. That's what it is. I'm out. I don't want it. I don't eat it. No good. Oh, I love it.

I love almond milk. It's so good. It's so calorically light. 30 calories for one cup. I could take it down. Hold the Karagigen. But other than that, is that what it is? Caragigan, Thompson.

It's calorically friendly because it's water. Yeah, but it's delish. You throw that in some nice cereal. Ooh, delicious. Yeah. And you don't feel like all that crazy. Like, that's the thing. And I know there's like the whole raw milk debate and whatnot.

But like milk. is pretty nutrient dense, but it comes with a lot of came out of a cows utter. It's bussy. It's bussy. No, that's, I agree that's a little strange. But you're not drinking. I'm not drinking the whole bowl of milk after I have my cereal. You're not one of those.

No, I simply use it as a softener. That's it. It softens my Cheerios. It softens my tricks. It softens my Reese's puffs. What a cereal. I'm worried about calories and, milk and I'm having reused his puffs. That's right. I'm telling you. It's, yeah, I don't mind it,

but it's crazy. Sunflower butter is, it's the true what do you nuts. What do you nuts? What do you nuts? What do you nuts sunflower butter? Make it taste better. Make it taste better. No good. But back to the wedding, Josh. This was an affair, okay? Yeah, yeah. Walk us through. I love this. This is an affair. Well, we'll start. Okay, Friday night dinner hosted by my parents lovely at their house. Okay, now tell me why. So it's your sister, the softer daughter. So technically, old-fashioned terms, you guys are footing the majority of the bill? Yes, in old-fashioned terms, but they split. Okay.

And then because usually if the bride side pays for the wedding and then like the groomed side will do the night before dinner and maybe the brunch of the next day. But you're saying that you guys did the night before dinner. Yeah. So I think it's a little bit different because Maddie's husband is an only child. So this was their only chance to throw a wedding. Sure. So they have that. And Friday night, they actually did separately, which I thought was interesting.

There were a ton of out-of-towners that came in on her husband's side, like 70 people from like Canada and Germany. So they did something separate. And we had like a 14-person dinner at the Sopper household, Maddie's bridesmaids, Claudia, myself, Eva and Bruce. That was it. Let me tell you something, Ben, you win. Yeah. 14 people. You, what do you want to have a wet?

Look, my wife has said this from Trump, do not have a wedding before the wedding. Do not have a 150 person plus welcome dinner. No, you can't do it. You're just going to end up exhausted. You're going to end up exhausted, which we did end up exhausted because Saturday morning, we all show up to synagogue. We have what's called the Uffroof. Max goes, reads from the Torah, we throw candy at him.

You try and take one of those sunkists and you pelt it right at the back of his head. Sometimes if you're lucky, you'll hit the rabbi. And then after, you're eating, you're drinking. you're drinking. It's wonderful. That night, I go back over to my parents' house. We ordered in sushi. That's what my sister wanted. Wake up called Josh. Time on Sunday, 9 a.m. We're there at 9 o'clock in the morning. Claudia, pregnant, eight months there at 9 o'clock in the morning. And let me tell you, not only was she smiling, she was fantastic on her feet for 12 hours, 12 hours. She was unbelievable. Comfortable shoe? Yes. Comfortable shoe. Good for her. I think it was a two-inch heel.

Yeah, a little. A kitty heel. A kitten heel. Well, done, Josh. Yes, a kitten heel. Yeah, a kitty cat heel. We got to do more with Joey Kamasta. We got to do more with him.

Agreed. The kitten heel. Great shoe. Yes. From 9 o'clock in the morning, they're getting dressed. We're taking pictures, all the pictures. We're going to bridges. We're going to classic New York City spots, those classic pictures.

Of course. And then the wedding starts. And Josh, let me tell you. Catered by Bruce's offer. This was the event. This food, outrageous. Wow. Outrageous.

He did a tuna tartar, Josh. He bought just the tops of cans of tuna. So you opened a can of tuna and you saw a tuna tartar. That was a past hors d'oeuvre. I've never seen it before. Wow. It was genius. I like that.

He did many spring rolls. He did hot dogs. He did all the things that you eat. Pigs in a blanket. Of course. Of course. They're cold. They need a blanket.

They need to be warm. They're freezing. Let me talk to you about some of these stations. We had a sushi station. My dad went very. very worldly. He had a taste of Cuba. He had a taste of Cuba. He had a taste of India, where he served fresh non and curried chickpeas. This man went wild. Wow. Unbelievable. He went from Delhi to Havana. He went from Delhi to Havana. And then we, we danced. We had

speeches. We drank. It was wonderful. You had two options, Josh, for the main court. You could either go with a skirt steak, Chimicherry, or you go with a nice salmon. Both tasted delicious. I, of course, try both. And a beautiful dessert. He had a chocolate fountain. So you'd take your strawberries, your bread's like a pouring fondue of chocolate. You dunk in all your fruits or whatever.

Beautiful red velvet cakes and it clears. No, I'm not asking this to, I swear, I'm not asking to pick a fight. Is it, do you have to do non-dairy dessert because it's me? Yes. All par of it, and you wouldn't have even known it. The egg clears, the red velvet, everything. The chocolate fountain is no dairy. Everything.

And my dad really is an expert of is what it's called, dessert creator and knows great places to order from. You wouldn't have even known. The dessert was delicious. Oh, I believe it. Dairy-free. So much sugar. That's what you get when you have dairy-free desserts. Enough sugar to kill you.

Because that's what you need. If you have a flowerless, if you have like a flowerless, chocolate cake. Anything where they take out the main ingredient and somehow still make it delicious, you could build a schoolhouse with it. It's a brick. It's so dense. It's like a meteorite. It is. It's thick. It's really thick. My dad makes a great moose. That's thick. What's also Moose saffer. I kind of like that. Oh, I love it. Ooh, what a great name. It's hot. You can also make a meringue, which is probably my mom. My favorite. I love like a soft meringue on a nice vanilla cake. Oh, it's so good.

Fire it up. The best part about this wedding, Josh, you know what time it ended? 10. 10.30. Perfect. Class. Class. Okay. That's class. We're all there since 9 o'clock in the morning. The actual event started at 4.30. Six hours is perfect. These weddings that go from 430 to 2.30 in the morning, you can't leave. You can't leave. Right. We left. It was perfect. We were home. We got a good night's sleep, I woke up, I felt great. This was a wonderful event. Wonderful event.

How religious was it? Could men and women dance together? It was very religious. Men and women can dance together. Yes. There is ceremonial, like, separate Jewish dancing. Like, it's just more fun when it's not mixed, in my opinion. Like, you do like a nice horror.

We're lifting separate chairs, but like then regular, we're dancing together. Is there a sheet separating? No, no, no, no, no. No, none of that. None of that. So maybe very religious is a stretch. Religious. But mixed seating.

Mixediting, mixed dancing. But like the ceremony itself was traditional religious Jewish. The seven, it's called, they're called Sheva Brachote, seven blessings. I did the seventh, very cantorial. There was a wonderful canter. His name is Simchaliner. He was there. Shout out.

He was unbelievable. Yeah, he's second night of Coachella, no? Sahara. Seherita. Simchaliner and the Sechariner. We have to talk about ultra after this. We have to. Don't let me forget.

The Simchaliner, Josh, I just want to say he put me on his Instagram and said, I had a great voice. Nice. Wow. You think he was just looking for Instagram followers? I think he considered the source. It's not Whitney Houston saying it, but it's nice that Simchaliner co-signed you. I've been co-Simchaligned. You have been the Simchaline of this night.

Oh my God, that's really funny. How many followers does he have? 21,000. This is pretty good. This is not bad. This is pretty good. I'm very impressed. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Mint Mobile.

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Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. So tell me about Ultra because my dream, the Ultra Music Festival, which is in Miami, A weekend, it's the equivalent to EDC, or, you know, it's like an electronic Coachella, but it's in Miami. It's one of the originals. It's to the top. My dream is to go. My dream, I've been invited before, but I haven't gone.

But I need to be single and not sober if I'm going to go. So, Josh, let me explain to you. I went in 2013. This was the heart of house music. This is like Swedish House Mafia, Avicchi, Nikki Romero, Lesso, Armand Baner. Armand Van Buren. Yes. DJT Estob.

Paul Van Dyke. Yes. All of them. Yes. Paul Oakenfold. I don't know about Oakenfold. Steve A.O. For sure, Steve.

Yes. For sure, Steve. Scrillix. For sure. With the Evichi remix. That's what he played there. Probably for the first time. Absolutely.

Dead mouse. Castave. Keep going. Keep going. I want to say what you can name. Oh my God, I think. This was the height of this music, Josh. A decade ago, 12 years ago, whatever it was, this was the height.

All the Ultras since I've heard have been fine. This year, this was Ultras 25th anniversary. And apparently all of the DJs got together and said, we are going to play the music people actually love, which was from 2010 to 2014, like when this progressive house music was amazing, when Avichu was alive, when we were alive. Yep. And I saw clips on TikTok and I watched them for like three hours last night. Claudia's looking over at me.

I'm about to cry. There's something in me that needs the music. Yeah. So Josh, we need to go. I would go. I had a moment and it was like the first two years I was dating page where I would go to these shows and I would dance. I was stone cold sober and I would leave drenched in sweat. I didn't care.

I was just living life. I don't know what it is about that music, but you really, you really don't need drugs. You don't. Like, you can go there and you feel it in your body. Of course, it's better when you're on drugs. Yeah, but you don't need them. You don't need them. Like, it's so the lights, the energy, the people, honestly, watching people on drugs makes you feel like I'm on drugs.

So if they're all on drugs, even though I'm not on drugs, I'm on drugs. I was once at the Hollywood Palladium, there was this huge electronic show, and all of a sudden, DJ comes out, and you hear this, like, whisper come over to the crowd, and then all of a sudden you hear, and then he really milks it, and he gives it a beat. And all of a sudden you hear it. Bomp, bomb, bomb, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bong, bum, bong. Clip this. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Bum, boom. I saw three people OD right in that moment. I'm so jealous. Like, that is just it. It was great. That's it. So good. So good.

By the way, just so we... Shah. For the editor, I couldn't hear anything when you were whispering, but I'm assuming it was a great story, right? It was great. It could be. I don't want to agree to something. I don't want to agree to something. Go back to the toast.

Please, Ben. Yeah, we will. We will. When can it happen? It could happen next week. You want to do it next week? I want to do it forever. Okay, we're going to start.

We'll go back next week. We deserve it. Can we do a what are you nuts? I have another what are you nuts quick. Sure. So you go, you go to a podcast. podcast studio. These little headphones? How many people do you think have put this in their ear? Oh, that's massively, Meshugga. I saw those right away and I said, I hope those are his.

No, no, no, no, there's somebody else's. Do I have an ear infection? I thought you brought them from home. No, you cannot do an inner ear bud. That's the height of what he does. Do I have an ear infection? I just want to know. Yeah, I have an ear infection. Olivia is stimming in the back. It's making her so upset watching that. A podcast professional here. I have an ear infection. And speaking of ear infections, I'm bringing it back, back to the wedding, then we're coming back to Ultra. One of my sister's husband, his name is Max, one of his groomsman made the mistake of telling me

that he's in medical school to be an ENT. Oh, did he get an earful for me? Great. ENT specialist. I was talking to him about Navajas, talking to him about clearing your throat, what you can do for all this stuff. Having an E&T in the family, what's better than that? That's everything.

Yes. That's a Jewish treasure. A treasure. All right. Back to Ultra. It's the same thing about my wife comes from a family of lawyers. But they're also by the book, they're good Catholics, not like us. And so, like, I'll ask certain questions.

I'll be like, well, I'm not really, like, one of them lives on the East Coast. I'm like, well, I'm not licensed to practice law in this state, so I can't help. Then I'll be like, what do I got a robot? Yeah. What do I work for the DOJ? It's Joshy. Give me an insight. I've never understood that either.

The whole, I can't practice in that state. Like, why can't you practice in all states? Aren't you a lawyer in America? What am I missing? Because they're not federal lawyers. I know, but it's just so strange to me. Well, talk to our forefathers. Every state has different laws.

Fascinating. It's fascinating. rules and regulations. And what is it if you're licensed in New York, you're like licensed in 30 states, but if you're licensed in Nebraska, it's just Nebraska. There's certain things. I know that is true about like concealed carry laws. Like I think there's one thing where you're like licensed in 38 states, basically like anywhere

Morgan Whalen would live. But other than... Let's talk about that, huh? That was a little controversy with S&L this weekend. You saw that? I didn't tell me more. Oh, you said whalen. I was like,

Wallen. I don't know. I don't know that. No, I mean, no shade on him. I'm sorry for the mispronunciation. But people, as they do, the internet was up in arms because he performed on S&L. And then during the ultra awkward goodbye part at the end of every episode that everyone's got to stick around and hug and do the whole thing, he just walked off. He was like, good night.

And I kind of, I'm kind of on both their side. I would just love to be a fly on the wheel, a fly on the wheel, a fly on the wall to know what went down because did you see he posted like when he got home, great to be back in God's country. That's what he posted. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure that he was overly sensitive. I'm sure SNL was regular. Like they are. Right? Like I'm sure he was like a little like you know what you're going on.

You know who the cast is. That's right. You understand what this place is. So would you do SNL? If they offered you, you'd do it, obviously. They would never offer it to me. Like, sorry, I'm speaking on behalf of the internet comments. Try to get ahead of those.

How would they never offer it to you? No, they will offer it to me if I ever somehow become of that level where I'd be interesting enough to have on. But of course I would do it. And I don't have any of the idolatry for SNL that some people have. And that's fine. It's just some people look at it as like the mecca and other people just look at it. Like, it's great. It's cool.

You would be so good at it. Well, thank you. And I would be ultra respectful of the institution that I was in. And I, but I feel that about when I see people, I've done those terrible press junkets. And they are, I mean, it's champagne problems. But when you're doing a movie junket and literally, you will have 40 to 60, five-minute interviews in one day where people are just coming in and out. And it can become exhausting and you're getting the same kind of four questions and you're repeating

the same story over and over and over. But you know what? Drink a Red Bull and get some room service because it's usually at a hotel and be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed because this is the agreement. You know, the interviewers, I would assume for the most part, don't want to be there either. You know, like, they went to freaking Columbia Journalism School. They grew up watching 60 minutes and they're interviewing you about your shitty rom-com. Like, I'm sure they're not dying to know how fun was it on set.

But they're here doing their job to help promote what you're doing. And you're there to help them so that they have content to put on their show that promotes. It's symbiotic. So put on a good face and do your thing. And I feel the same for SNL. Like whether you're into it or not. It's a huge institution. They're having you on.

You agreed. So do the thing. So I think that what they ran, I think the problem that they ran into with Morgan Wallen then was that Morgan Wallen does not respect or need SNL at all. Then why do it? I agree. I agree.

Then he shouldn't have done it because he knew what it was. So he shouldn't have done it. That's, that's the moral of the story. You do SNL because you need it. Because you think that SNL is going to raise your status or help promote whatever project you're working on. Like, that's why you do it.

Or you do it because you're a huge fan. Yeah, you check a box. Like, it was a dream to be on there. It's one of the 10 cool things that maybe certain people would like to do. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at ChiliPad. Folks, are you sleeping hotter than hell? Even worse, your wife loves a toasty bed, but you desperately need to stay cool. And you're waking up drenched and sweat instead.

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Booking dot, yeah. Yeah, but I'm not shocked that like a very hardcore country, definitely super right wing guy, didn't love being on us. hell. Like, that's not shocking to me at all. But I am curious, like a Shane Gillis, who I feel like is similar politically, I guess he had his problems with it, but I think he loved, like he had his problems with the show, but then he went back on and he killed it. So, I don't know. I guess you take from it what you can. But yeah, Morgan Wallen just shouldn't have done it. Look, respect to Morgan Wallen to have been able to do what he's done with his career. and obviously a super talented guy.

I'm not really like, I hope, please don't think that I'm coming for him. I'm just talking about in general, like, I think Shane Gillis is a perfect example because they fired him before his first day on the show. And he became like the public example of like at the time what was cancel culture and dragged. And here he was able to not only recover from that but become bigger than the show. And then come on and do some of the best sketches they've had in years. and completely crush it and have a great face about it.

Like, I don't know. That, to me, seems like winning. He won for sure. He crushed. Yeah. His was so good, so good. And, like, S&L was definitely, like, so angry after that episode that they didn't just have him every day.

They could have had him every day. He would have been amazing. Do you ever think my, I, and tell me, Olivia, what you think, too. Sometimes I look at the institution of S&L and I know they can't change it because this is kind of like what the show is based on, but I'm like, I wonder how good the show. would be if they took more than a week to come up with shit. A hundred percent. Yeah.

This should be a monthly special. Yeah. Monthly. Charge. Go out to all advertisers. I don't know if they'd agree to this and say, we're now quadrupling our rates. So they make the same amount of money. The problem is the more shows, the more sponsors, the more money.

The more views, the more money. And they would say their ability to be topical because if it's just once a month, it's hard to be topical about everything that goes on within. those 30 days. I guess that's true too. But for the sketches, like they don't, I think that for most viewers, they don't need it to be that week. Like if they, if they, like, commented on a month's worth of entertainment, I would love to see

it monthly because, yeah, they definitely don't have enough content week to week. Well, I think that the schedule behooved a new emerging, first ever seen type of show in the first, let's call it 20 years, right? into the mid-90s and where this hard-charging cocaine-fueled. I mean, these are all just like rumors and myth of the show, right? And also chronicled like in the book and whatnot. But like it all fueled this idea of like this hard-charging, let's go all out six days during the week, all sort of culminating on a Saturday.

But like the people that write for the show aren't that anymore. And like the people who are on the show aren't really that anymore. So maybe change the way you make it. Agreed. Agreed. And to your point, like, maybe it is no longer just like these musicians and these, quote unquote, A-list celebrities that most people really don't care about and aren't funny.

Like, why don't you bring in people that people actually really like on the internet today? Like, I think that if they allowed, they wouldn't do it because they think too highly of themselves. But if they allowed for really, really great B-list folks that just like aren't like Tom Cruise, I think that the show would be much better because people are so talented. They're just not, they're working with a finite group of people and they're just not as funny. They're big names, but they're not as funny. The funniest people aren't on SNL ever.

Olivia, I know it's your favorite show. I grew up like watching it. I love the show. But I agree. I think like there's something that we're seeing right now too that's really interesting, like the power of like a niche, you know, and like a niche comic. and the draw and the amount of love that people have for Ben, to your point, like people on the internet, you know,

or people who maybe have smaller followings but are really dedicated. And I think, like, yeah, it might alienate part of the audience if you bring people on like that, but it could also expose them to somebody that's, like, brilliant, you know? But again, to your point, I don't know that they would ever lean into that. But I think if they did, it would be like one of the final frontiers of, like, you know, the gap between internet's, like, fame and celebrity. and like the legacy media sort of realm of Hollywood. It's like the Knicks, Josh.

We joked about this. Like you can sit front road in a game if you were on one episode of Law & Order. Which one? SVU. Anything. Criminal intent. Like you have one cameo on TV. You're a celebrity row.

But if you're a popular. Law order petty crimes. Like he just stole an iced tea from the bodega. Now that I would watch. That's called. than SNL skin. That is genius. Petty crimes unit, PCU.

It's just like somebody's stealing somebody's watch. In New York City, every day. There are shady folks who are stealing from their local bodega. It's so good. That would be petty crimes unit. Hell yeah. Petty crimes unit. S&L's going to steal it, by the way.

You'll see. I'm not. I'm sure. They'll steal it. If anybody who works for us and you're listening. Yeah, if anybody that works with SNL or four SNL is listening, one, Josh would be amazing. Bring him in. Second, I just have an idea. I have an idea. For the second rung of people, why don't you do an SNL digital, Josh? Why don't we try that? It's a separate show. It's only online. We start. It just goes on YouTube, but it's still produced by SNL. It's a rung below. And there's just, I don't know. Isn't that the digital shorts? Like, don't they have a team that does that? Wasn't that originally Lonely Island?

And now it's please don't destroy. And those bits are part of, I love those. I think those sketches are hilarious. Yeah. So this exists. Okay, see, I, it exists. Shout out SNL, good for you. And also shout out Morgan Wallen.

You're very talented. And congrats, neither of you need each other. No. Neither of you need each other, but you both need us. Okay, so Morgan Wallen come on the show and SNL. Buckle up. Buckle up, okay? Because we're coming to a digital YouTube-only version near you.

We could, that's a beauty of the good guys. We could hang with Morgan Wallin. We could have on AOC. Anyone. There's no limit to our ability. Speaking, can we be, let me see what time it is during the episode. Can we be political for a minute, knowing that we'll probably cut this out? Sure.

Go. I imagine you'll agree, Ben. I think like Ben and I are very close. I think, Ben, you're more center right, I'm more center left. But this occurred to me recently. And it just makes me feel like I'm being lied to by both sides. In 2021, I watched Joe Biden and I looked at my Democrat friends and said, he feels a step behind, no?

And they said, shut up. Shut up and vote. Stop talking like that, right? I was like, can't we call balls and strikes here? Like, I know what I'm saying. Now there's this massive text leak and I'm watching all these people, the anti-corruption people, I'm not going to call them out by name, but all these people that like literally won and were confirmed on this whole thing of like, we're going to clear this.

We're going to, you know, we're going to clear the corruption. They're lying to our face telling us what we saw. We didn't see. This was clearly top secret information. This was clearly a massive, massive screw up. And I'm listening to the powers that be going, nah. In the end of the day, everybody's a politician. Politicians are politicians or politicians or politicians.

On one side, you're going to run and you're going to say that when Hillary had information leaked, it was a huge problem. Then you're leaking information. It's not a problem. So politicians are going to be politicians. They're always going to downplay their own issues. But across the board, everybody has these issues. These issues are real.

These issues come up. One side over blows them. The other side to quiet them down. That is politics. It's how can I gain an edge off. off of an unfortunate situation. And it happens completely across the board. So what I try to do in my life is not overplay, not downplay.

Just try my best to quiet the noise on the things that really don't matter to me. But yeah, this was definitely a fuck up. No question. Right. No question. And everybody fucks up. I would like to see, I thought I saw it. Maybe I didn't.

I would love to just see people come out and say, I'm sorry, this was bad. We're working on it. Like an acknowledgement and a fixing would be great. I don't think it'll ever happen because it gives too much of an edge to the other side. And we're so far, unfortunately, on both sides that any kind of an edge is seen as weakness. But yes, totally. And if you're listening to this and going, you're right about half of it. Or you're here.

You bet it I going like, yeah, 50% of what you're saying is right. You're the problem. Totally. This is what we're calling out. It's like, no, no, no. It's like I'm saying it about both sides here. Like something is off and I don't feel like I'm getting the truth. The real deal, Holy Field, as they say.

Yeah, there's no, there's no transparency. It does seem like this like, or this administration is trying, or at least they ran on trying to push transparency. So I'm hoping that there will be more transparency. But it's definitely not. It's, it wasn't great. But it wasn't great. Yeah, this feels one of like the first big moment to be like,

okay, you stick into it and then be like, nah. Agree. Yeah. So we'll see. We'll see. But yeah. Trump's like, did we put in takebacks?

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Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys. Keep it brief. Brevity is key. And we don't want to hear your Woody and Nuts is. This one's from Jesse. Hey guys, Jesse here from Texas. Love the pod.

I've got a quick question for you. I need some advice. So my husband and I have been together for 12 years, married for six. And we have a beautiful little girl. She is just about two years old. But ever since I got pregnant and had a baby, I feel like my senses have completely shifted. and I cannot stand my husband's like natural smell.

And I don't mean B.O. Like he's a very cleanly person. Shows every day. He uses deodorant, all of the things. But it's just like the natural smell. You know, that smell that's like on your pillow. Like ever since having a baby, I feel like my senses have completely shifted and I can't. I don't like his smell.

So any advice. What products are you guys using that your wives love? Thank you. First and foremost, you should smell like whatever makes your wife happy. The same I would say for a wife to the husband. Like if Claudia wore a scent that I didn't like, I would tell her like, hi, my eyes are watering. I don't like the smell of your perfume. Similarly, to me, if I wore something, which I used to wear creed, and she developed an absolute, salute, detest

for creed. So I throw it away. So I don't wear a scent. It's called creed? Creed. Because I wear a nickel back. So tell me about, no. I never put two and two together.

I wear daughtry. As you spray it, it's just like, well, I'm trying to open. Under the sun. So good. Oh, my God. Who makes Creed? Creed.

Creed. You know it. This is like a high-end cologne, and I've never thought of the parallel. Regardless, we don't wear it anymore because my wife doesn't like it. Once you're pregnant, your smells go through the roof. You can't stand anything that you used to stand. So if we're, we have a problem if we're talking about your husband's natural smell, like him as a human, that's tough.

Maybe he needs a cologne. If we're talking about a cologne, it's a lot easier to get rid of a cologne than the smell of your body. Josh, what do you think? It's interesting, right? Because if your wife, your partner wants you to smell good to them, why wouldn't you just wear their perfume? They're spraying it on them. Wow. Wouldn't they like it on you?

Genius. But then your wife might also not want to be married to a woman. Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. That's the problem. She likes it on her. I don't know if she likes it on you. I wear Joe Malone. Cologne.

I wore Eve St. Laurent for basically my whole life. Excuse me. I wear Joe Malone. It's good. It's good high-end scarlet poppy, as we've said before. That's my rap name. And it's really good stuff. Olivia, what are you about with cents?

Yeah, I think. Creed. She's like, I like Some 41. Yeah. I wish. If Some 41 came out with a Cologne, I'd buy it all. Oh, yeah. 1,000%

You just smell like the pit, Josh. I thought, ew. The smell of sweat. You smell like vans and cores like. Oh, God. My teen years. No, so the thing that came to mind for me, too, is I'm wondering if she was on birth control for a really long time

and then got off of it. And then now, because, like, that's a thing where if you're on birth control for a long time, it can, like, mask your sense of smell when it comes to, like, your partner. and you can prefer if you go off of it, like your sense of smell will change. And I imagine obviously she did because she had a baby. So I don't know if she like went back on it or if she stayed off of it. But it could be like your hormonal balance has shifted

and therefore like the pheromones of your partner are not what you were initially attracted to because you're all kind of like out of balance. So I don't know. It seems like kind of a tough position to be in. So I guess just like try to have him use a new body wash maybe. But I don't know what to tell you about the pheromones, home girl. Like, that's just tough. I've seen TikToks on that No More Birth Control change in personality thing.

Do we know if that's true? It sounds like it would be true. But apparently women are going off of birth control and they're like, I fucking hate my boyfriend or husband. Like, apparently, according to TikToks, it masks like, like even personality traits, like that you don't like. And then all of a sudden you go off. it or that you do like and all of a sudden you go off it and you don't like him anymore.

I mean, I will say, I think I spoke about this before, but I was on birth control for a little bit and when I went off of it, well, first of all, it made me go just nuts. I got diagnosed with like an anxiety disorder because of it. Like, it was crazy. And so it can really change your personality to and the way that you respond and react to things. So there could be different, I mean, it's so different from woman to woman. So there could be different things that like it masks more severely for one person versus is another. There are some people who can tolerate it, some people who can't. So I could definitely

see that, like, being a thing. And I think there's definitely some validity there. Yeah, I don't know. It's, I'm sure, hopefully there'll be more research on it and we can have more understanding in the future. But yeah, it's nuts. Look at our range, Josh. Look at our range. We go from talking about catered weddings. We talk about politics. We talk about Saturday Night Live. We're talking about birth control. The range of the good guys, the range. Don't I know it? And I would say, too, I don't know. You guys tell me your opinion unless you disagree with me, in which case, keep it to yourself. For your own sake, I have to say about my dear wife, Paige, she is maybe one of the few, if only girls. And I think it's just because I'm uniquely perfectly matched for her that she has no scent.

Like, my pheromones mix with her so perfectly that it's just like this beautiful, clean slate of a human every time I'm with her. And other women I was with before, like, and again, it's like, it wasn't bad in any way, but they had like a unique scent to them, which like I could imagine over time would have maybe gotten to me a little bit. But with page, it was just like this perfect thing. I never noticed a smell or like her smell was always very pleasing to me. And that hasn't changed over 13 years. One, that's beautiful. Two, I've never thought about it, but I am now realizing that Claudia too does not smell like anything until if she's going out and she puts on a perfume, then I know that she's wearing that. But as a person, I agree she doesn't smell like

anything. Yeah. I'll third that with Ethan, I don't notice anything either. Like, I just think his natural smell is nice. And like, there were other people that I was like, you stink, dude. Yeah. On the flip side, though, we smell breath. You also smell breath? I smell breath. Sure. Dude, my son is on his honest. It certainly smells my breath. I will turn over to her and she's like, I'm about to pass out. Can you go, like, brush your teeth? Dude, my son is in his honesty era and he will just at night look at me and be like,

your breath stinks. I'm going to be like, sounds like my wife. My wife will literally turn to me and say, did you just chomp on a piece of duty? And I'm like, no. No, I'm not eating, I'm not eating duty. I was having issues with my gym clothes for a while because for like, I use, oxy clean with all my gym clothes just to like make sure that they smell like fresh and good and just like you have to be careful with that stuff but for whatever reason like our new we had new washing

machines i couldn't get it it was like staining my shirts bleaching certain things i was like dang it so i wasn't using it so i would wash them and put in a tide pod and whatever but they had like a whiff of not not good enjy like you got close to me and you would smell my sharing me like that ain't nice and my son once was giving me a hug a night and i had on one of what a my workout church and he's like, uh-huh. He's like, Dad, what are you doing?

I was like, I change your diapers. It got me to go get a liquid oxyclean instead of the powdered kind, and it's great. So funny. What does this smell? Like mildily? It's just like, it's specific because it's B.O. But then it's washed and dried with like just a hint left

of like B.O. It's like not all. all the way out. So there's a smell that's ingrained in my brain that I will never be able to get out, which is the opening up your suitcase or big bag. What are those like big long bags with the zipper call? Duffel. Duffel, thank you.

God, how did that word escape me? Large duffel. After an entire summer at camp, I would get home. This smell, this was the smell of if you left a towel, a wet towel on the floor for two weeks. Like this level of mildew, oh my God, that's literally seared in my brain so fucking disgusting. So gross. Nasty. All right, we've lost all our listeners.

No. The next one is from Anonymous. Hey, Josh and Ben. Just a random kind of question here. I just wanted to get your guys this take on self-checkouts. Everywhere you go now, grocery store, Walmart, Target, CVS, etc. everywhere is freaking self-checkout. And if there's a problem, there's never anyone around to help you.

And if there are people around to help you, they're just standing around watching. Why have these people monitored a self-checkout? Why don't they just actually work the register? I feel like we should get some type of discount for having to cash ourselves out and bag her own groceries and whatever else. I just want to get your take on it because it's kind of starting to really piss me off. That's all. Thanks. Thanks. Bye. breed of just an angry listener, you know? Love. Love it. Yeah, this is a problem. We bring out the words to people. For sure. Shout out Whole Foods. I think they do the best job of like,

those people are helpful. Like if I have an issue at self-checkout, I find them very helpful. Everywhere else, they're really not helpful. They really should just be security guards. They're mainly there to make sure that you don't steal. Sure, they're there to also help if you have an issue and error when you scan, but they're really just monitoring for theft. And yeah, I do think that we should be getting something back. And what's funny is in the age of self-checkout, we're also being charged for bags, Josh. We're now being charged five cents a bag in most places,

10 cents a bag. So they're charging us for bags. We're checking ourselves out. It's like, what is it? What was the name? Was it Orange Theory or that's a different one? What's the one that you go to the hot yoga? Core power.

Core power. Okay, you're staying after, you're cleaning up free membership. I'm bagging my own shit, 10% off. 100%. 100%. That's it. 10% off.

bag my own shit. It's not right that you can go and be checked out for the same cost as checking yourself out. Not right. Corporate greed. You hear that Kroger, Target, Walmart. Garee. Cash back. Greed.

Greed. Our Woody and its moment of the week are our gripes with people, places, and things, both big and small, whatever is sticking in your craw. I'll start. Please. You know, kids, they love Legos. I love Legos. People of all ages love Legos.

I love Legos. And I feel bad because, you know, my son loves him and he's great at it. And people will say like, you did this, Max, it's spectacular. Wow, did this big Lego must have taken you so long. And I stand a few feet away going, huh, came with instructions. What are you nuts? Like, you didn't come up with it. You just page by page.

It's like three or four pieces of page. What are you nuts? Not that cool. So that's spectacular. What are you nuts? Totally, right? Unbelievable. Nuts.

My what are you nuts moment of the week is the overhead bin shared space on an airplane. Okay, we're all putting our stuff. You're putting your coat. I'm putting my bag. Sometimes you're putting a cowboy hat. You're putting even a helmet. Maybe you're going skiing. Don't touch my shit.

Okay? That's right. Do not touch other people's stuff in the overhead bin. you think you can squeeze and make room for your stuff. How about you ask the people around you, hi, do you mind if I move your coat instead of taking your duffel and mashing my coat to the back of the overhead bin space? What are you nuts? This is a shared space.

I got there first. If you want me to move something, I'll move it happily. If we can make space for everybody, no problem. But you showing up 45 minutes late, last person on the plane, taking your bag when you're in 36B and jamming it in, What are you nuts? You're going to ruin this lovely man's cowboy hat. It's not right. Shout out.

Word out. Nuts. Nuts. Folks, you know what else is nuts? You're not giving this episode five stars is nuts. Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on YouTube. Share our clips.

Instagram and TikTok. We're blowing up. We're blowing up. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have

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