Good Guys - Meat on a Plane

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

Happy Monday babe! This week the Good Guys are here SOLO with updates to make you giggle. Josh saw Oppenheimer for the first time and Ben becomes an involuntary NYC tour guide! Josh is channeling the career of the great Jennifer Coolidge and Ben loves Speakpipes! At the end of the day we learn what their last meal would be, how much Mackenzie Scott has donated to charity, and that there is just a lot of bad cake out there. What are ya nuts?!? Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Hero Bread is offering a special 10% off your first order with the code GOODGUYS at Hero.co You can find Liquid Death’s healthy beverages on Amazon or at a retailer near you. Get 20% off your first Liquid Death apparel purchase available exclusively at LiquidDeath.com/GOODGUYS Download EarnIn today in the Google play or Apple app store. Type in Good Guy sunder PODCAST when you sign up - EarnIn.com/TOS for details Go to Nutrafol.com code GOODGUYS to save $10 off your first month’s subscription + free shipping Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck and I'm Ben Saffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. I feel so lucky to be here with you and I got to tell you I did something cool. What'd you do? I saw a little, a little movie, small film about a very famous historical figure who rose to prominence in the 1940s.

It's a young man named J. Robert Oppenheimer. I saw Oppenheimer. Wow. How was it? It's fucking great. Wow. Wait, people might quote that, so let me just say, it's very, very good. Wow.

It's... When can I see it? Maybe at the premiere. Who knows? See? That's what I'm talking about. I mean, if I get extra tickets to the premiere, you're coming. That's it.

Okay, good. Okay, good. Sorry, Paige. Sorry. No, no, no, she's coming to. That's a given. No, no, no. Clip it. No. If I get one extra ticket, it's going to bed. Could you imagine? I'll go if you'll wear the gown that Paige would have worn to the premiere. You'll never be invited back again. We got to- Who is this incredibly hairy Jewish man wearing a wedding dress? And what is he doing here? When Dear Media gives us the armchair expert deal, of 60 mil guaranteed. You heard that right, dear media. I know you're listening.

I think we should do like what, have you ever heard of what the creators of South Park, what they did when they went to the Oscars together? No, but I did just hear what they did. Didn't they just buy an old restaurant and redo it for like $40 million? Did you read that? I didn't, but if anyone could, it's them

because they make billion dollar deals with Viacom. Wow. You know, it's on Mac. on HBO Max, but there's like a 45-minute documentary about how they make their episodes. And it's incredible because they literally write and produce entire episodes in six days because it has to be so topical.

But in the doc, they talk about how they were nominated for a song, I think, for an Oscar for the first South Park movie. I think it was Blame Canada. And so Matt and Trey being not very interested in the Oscars said, well, if we go, we're going to wear So I think Trey wore the famous Jalo dress of like the deep declatage green sort of flowy blousey thing. And to top it off, they ate acid in the limo on their way there.

So they're literally being interviewed on the carpet like, it's a great night. I'm just so happy to be here. It's so good, dude. And I'm pretty sure my sponsor in A.A. would be totally fine if the only time I had a slip was so you and I could do ass. sit and walk the carpet together. And walk the carpet together. In gowns. If you had accepted the invitation to the Met Gala, what would you have worn?

Depends on what the theme was. What was the theme? So you would have been in the theme? I probably wouldn't. I think that's all cornball shit. Again, as we said in our last episode, billionaires be cray cray. And I just don't need an excuse to dress up. I don't want to go back to camp.

I left my childhood on the stages of Nickelodeon. And I'll leave it there forever. I'm happy to be a grown-up. You know, it's interesting. At first I was agreeing with you, but then the more I thought about it, the Met Gallo will put out a theme. It's kind of like you throwing a beautiful Fourth of July white party. And some guy shows up in a black t-shirt.

It's like, Kay just stick to the theme. It looks cool when everybody's in theme. That said, their themes have gotten completely out of control, right? Because their themes are more, they're so general, and one can take, inspiration that nobody looks like they're at the same party anyways. So I've come full circle and I agree with you. Do you want to know what the themes of a party I would have would be? Yes.

Leave early. Yes. Keep to yourself. What's the theme? Silence. Silence. Hot luck. Bring something.

Did you imagine if I brought brownies to the Meggall? By the way, nowadays, I know you're sober, but people do. They'll invite you over to their house for a big function, and they'll have, like, joints on a platter the same way that at one point you'd have a glass of champagne. Isn't that interesting? I think that's great. And I think that that's the natural progression for spritz. An apparel spliff.

Ooh, I like that. I like that. That's very interesting. Yes, a fruity joint. A fruity joint. Oh, so let me tell you about the Alpenheimer screening because it was very, it was very, surreal and and just keeping up with the level of excellence that I've experienced and granted experiencing a very small amount because I am in the movie for a very, very strong, wonderful

couple minutes, but incredibly proud and honored to be a part of it, of course. I just want to mitigate people's expectation. But to have been involved in this movie with someone like Christopher Nolan who's truly operating at like the highest level is one of our greatest sort of artists, directors. And to be, like, invited to this screening and to know that he, like, under any normal circumstance, you're getting a link, right? They're like, you want to see the movie. We're going to give you an exploding link.

You can watch it on your laptop. Enjoy. But with a Christopher Nolan movie, that ain't happening. Okay? We all were summoned, and when I say, oh, me and a couple of the other actors, to CityWalk, which is at Universal Studios. but it's kind of the commercial part of it. It's the outside.

Okay? I'm like, where are we going? Bukita Bepo? Let's fucking live it up. Sorry. I didn't interrupt you. I thought you were going to a Chinese restaurant called CityWalk. There is a Chinese restaurant called CityWalk.

I used to go there. It was right by my old department. Great, sesame chicken. I continue. We get some in there, and they have this movie theater there, where they can screen 70 millimeter prints, which is the iMac size film. It's sort of like double the size of a normal film,

which is why the scope and just how beautiful his movies look, that's why he's sort of, you know, able to capture such beautiful imagery. And we have this theater all to ourselves, and we literally sat there. And he's there, which is so rare. I mean, you know, this was not a screening for Matt Damon. This was me and a couple actors who are very much supporting actors. But the fact that he was dead.

there. He was lovely. He remembered my name. I showed him a picture of my kids. I don't know why. I just felt compelled. He was like, hello, Josh. I'm like, I'm a dad. And him and his entire team, his wife, who's the producer of the film, were so lovely. And you just sit there and it's unreal. It's just so well done. And it makes me excited about the movies, which I find like more and more people aren't excited about going to a movie. But I, I think this is one of those where you go, how can we ever live without theaters? I'm very proud of you. I'm very excited to see it.

I know the role is minimal. That said, Christopher Nolan sees an unbelievable. When you go to a screening like this, do they at least give you, like, do you get some popcorn? Or do you get like a nice big soda or it's too professional to have any snacks? No snacks. And it's, you know, it's a long movie. It's almost three hours. And so I was very sure of my intake of coffee that morning because, God forbid, I needed a pee break.

And as I told you, I'm a pisher. So I'll ruin road trips. You don't want to go over 60 miles with me because I'm going to be stopping and, you know, jumping out, having a pee. So I made sure I didn't get up once. I was very proud. But before and after, I was, yeah, I was a racehorse in there. And so was that the first time that you had seen it beginning to end? Yes. First time I'd seen any of it.

So for us non-actors, walk us through that feeling of being a part of a movie. Did you read the full script? Like, did you know, like, of course you know what the movie's about, but you get your lines, right? Yes. But do you read everybody's lines and the full scripts you already knew everything that was about? And then when it came to life and you're seeing it for the first time, like just walk us through like that feeling. of being a small part of something so big and then watching that whole thing back,

like it's fascinating. So when you, I guess I could start with the audition. Have I talked about kind of the audition process for this? No, no. So I was very lucky in this instance because I auditioned for the movie and I sent a tape in the beginning of November 2021.

And I kind of said to my agent, listen, no worries. I don't book movies. this, call me when they're doing American Pie 7. I'm sure I'll be in the running for that. And she happened to represent the casting director of the movie. So I was just getting a little bit more intel than maybe other people would. Because about three weeks later, she goes,

Nolan liked your tape. We're in the hunt. I was like, we are? And she was like, yeah. Like you're being talked about. And I was like, okay. And so every like three weeks, I would be, get that text, which is you're still being considered, we're in the hunt. And as like that's happening,

announcements are coming out. Matt Damon, Killian Murphy, Rami Malick, you know, Casey Affleck, all these brilliant, like, Academy Award winning actors and Emily Blunt and Florence Pew, and you're like, there's no room left. Like, where am I going to fit in? And then I'll never forget at the end of January, I got a call for my agent. And she's like, you're going to work for Christopher Nolan. Like, congrats. And I remember it was probably a week later. I was invited to read the script in a room at Universal Studios.

And the script was in the room, and I could read it in the room, and I could not leave with the script. And that was the only time I read it. And then as we got closer to shooting, I was given the pages for the scenes that I was in. And it's just all done because to Nolan's, He's like, if this leaks, and even if it gets, you know, ruined for 20% of the people who are looking for it on Twitter or whatever, like, it's just, that just sucks.

And so, yeah. And, and but the best part of it was that you do a lot of things, and I've done plenty of things where we're all on set going, well, at least we'll pay our rent for the next year. We're just, you know, you're making a compromise. Like, at least I'm going to be able to afford, I don't know, a Range Rover sport from Brooklyn, Jaguar and Land Rover. But this was one of those rare things where we were like looking at each other going, oh, this is why I got into it.

Like, this could be great. And we're all going to do our very best to make this great. So in finally seeing it a year later, the best part, and this has only happened to me a few times, is when you see something that you've worked on for a long time and then it took a year to edit is when you watch it and go, oh, that's what he was thinking. Like when the director surprises you with what was in their mind, that they had had this massive vision of what it was going to be. And you could have never pictured it yourself because you don't have that gift. You're not the one telling the story.

So that's always nice. So it's very cool. And I feel very lucky to have been a part of it. So cool. And so now that you've booked a movie like this, can you now take this and book more movie. like this with bigger parts in movies like this. Like is it, is it like a stepping stone or are you back to American Pie 7? Which by the way, American Pie 7, I need it. I need it. I'm down to do it. And I think I'm getting in such good shape. I could be Stifler and not the Jason Biggs roll.

And I'll be Stifler's mom. I don't know. I don't have to be the doughy Jew. You'd be Jennifer Coolidge. I love her so much. She would need to be in it with me. Maybe I'd be, it's funny. I was going to say Stifler's like nice son. Like could I just be like her nebishi son? Like while like Stifler's there just like being like the duchy stifler. I'm just like the nice like nebishy stifler. But I don't know. I feel like there might not be room in Jennifer Coolidge's family for me.

I see that. I'd have to be Dan Levy. I'd have to be. Not Dan Levy. What's his name? Eugene Levy. I'd have to be a member of his family. By the way, I just worked with Eugene Levy and he is cute.

He is. I love him. He is a sweet pea Canadian Jew, which is maybe the best mix. Shout out Howie Mandel. But I think that I think I might be on a Jennifer Coolidge progression of my career. I mean, strike me down for saying that there's no one like her. But, you know, you think about the role as American Pie, legally blonde, underappreciated, brilliant. But finally, White Lotus, she had her moment.

Took her 60 years, but here she is. Might be me. It's going to be you. We're manifesting it. It's going to be you. And then I'll be a random supporting actor in a huge film. It's going to be us. That was going to be the sequel to the NSYNC song.

It's going to be us. Not me like needing to be a part of your story. But you are. Ben, I can't wait to see it. This is my Oppenheimer. This is my auditory Oppenheimer for the next gen. So I think this is my second act.

It's with you, babe. I can't wait to see it. Liquid death. Unbelievable. Very excited about this sponsor. Liquid death. I love liquid death. We're talking a big can.

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Claudia's lovely sister and partner, Jackie Ashery, has got a children's book. Tell me more. It's called The Camper and the Counselor. I just wanted to let you know that I pre-ordered a copy for your lovely children, and it will be there whenever that book comes out. I think it's in the next couple of months, but I pre-ordered it for you. It'll be at your door. It's a lovely children's book that she wrote beautiful pictures, and it'll be at your door.

So everybody should pre-order that book. It's, you can get it at Jackie's Instagram. It's just Jackie Ashray. It's called The Camper and the Counselor. You can order it on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or whatever it is. Yeah, very proud of her. Mazel, Jackie, we're so proud. And I think that leads us to our natural next sort of,

should we do a speak pipe? What a transition. I would love to do a speak pipe. Before we do speak pipes, I just want to say how much I love speak pipe. I love it too. Not like not like the platform. I have nothing against the platform, sure. Like speak pipe fantastic.

But people calling in, I love to hear from our listeners. It's so fun to answer their questions and to engage. And if I could just do an hour of speak pipes, I'm letting you know I would just do an hour of speak pipes. So continue to please send us in your questions. We love answering them. And speak pipe is great. Now, yeah, that was a transition.

That was it. Josh and Ben. First off, I love you guys. I listen to the podcast every week when I'm in the office, and it truly makes my day so much better. I also must say that you guys have great guests on the show, but I feel like the episodes with just you guys are the best thing. Anyway, some advice I'd like to ask you is on in-laws. I know that the good guys could never have anything but loving positive things to say about their own in-laws. But for those of us, those of us, they're not as fortunate. I'd like to. to know how you would handle intimate gatherings with in-laws, but you cannot stand. I love and get along very well with some of my husband's family, except my brother-in-law and his wife. Wow. Totally nothing in common besides the fact that we both have children

and have completely different views on basically everything. Rude, pretentious, the dinner time at the dinner table can sometimes just be brutal. For every holiday gathering, I suck it up for my husband and the rest of our family. But I love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Well, hopefully they're not listeners. I was going to say, pretentious, are you describing me, Hampton's Rangerover? It is what it is. So first of all, I think I can speak for both of us that we're very fortunate that we have in-laws that we love.

So check that off the list. Very lucky. For those that have in-laws that don't, including this lovely lady, I'm incredibly sorry because that must be terrible to have to spend all that time with people that you don't like must be terrible. That said, you need to talk to your husband. This at least is my advice, right? Like, the reason why you would think that you wouldn't get along with your husband's sister or husband's brother is because your husband doesn't get along with your husband's sister or husband's brother. I would think, right? Like, there must be something amiss there that you,

It's making those interactions incredibly awkward. So I would urge your husband to make things a little bit, like, more pleasant for you. But I don't really have more advice than that. I just, I'm sorry and I'm thankful. And that just freaking stinks. It's a tough one. And you're right. We do have incredible in-laws.

And yet my wife certainly has some extended family that can be a bit ornering. You know who you are. Oh, of course. I'm only talking about the immediate. extended. Are we also talking about cousins? Well, I think there's always navigating some prickly, a prickly cousin or two. Yeah. Yeah. And so continue. I just think you're right. You really have to be on the same page as your spouse. I remember at one point my wife, there was this girl really courting my wife, really liked her, like wanted to be her best friend. And I just got a bad feeling.

I just did not like this girl. And my wife, being the beautiful, pure soul she is, she was like, she's so nice. And I'm like, that's a problem. I don't trust. Nice. I'm from New York. I know better. And it really, you know, it didn't become a major issue with us. But in seeking counsel from people who I talked to buddies, friends, sponsors, whatever, I was like, I don't like this girl. And I just don't, I think it's odd that there's, this was the kind of person who would be like, well, we're going on a trip. very much like I'm taking her and we're going to go do all this stuff and then it's like listen

Barbie for me to get permission I love when my wife goes out and has a good time but there was like this weird power play of like we're gonna you know we're entitled to have our own shit I'm gonna get shit on for saying it like this fuck I don't mean it like that

I just mean it as like listen my wife and I are a team if I go do something with my boys like it's not that my wife isn't included It's just like, it's just sort of a natural thing. And same thing for my wife and I, but my boys would never be like, he's mine. You know what I mean? Am I, like tripping?

No, you're not. It almost sounds like the girl was, was like trying to make you jealous. Is that what it was? A little bit. And like, I love when my wife goes and has girl nights and girl weekends and live it up. My sons and I will be eating Panda Express and watching bad guys on Netflix. But I just think like it made me feel weird. And then solely but surely my wife being who I know her to be in that we like are very

aligned on most things kind of got hip to this girl. And she, this girl started showing her true colors and my wife got turned off and it was all good. And I'm just glad I didn't overreact. So it's a long winded way of me saying you have to be aligned with your partner because if for some reason her husband's like, isn't my brother-in-law the fucking coolest? and you're like he's a conspiracy theorist and I'm pretty sure he's looking at my boobs

well then yeah maybe there's something amiss there and there's a deeper problem but to that end I don't know whenever I don't like people especially family members I try to run at their ism like if we're not politically aligned or whatever I just try to like I just try to play a character

as long as it doesn't totally go against like my moral and ethics and try to like if they're like the Superman type I'll bring up Joe Rogan. You know what I mean? You know what it is? It's because you have an incredible amount of self-awareness. I pride myself on having self-awareness.

You do. And I also, I think you do this too. I'd so much rather make my time pleasant than have myself be agitated in that moment. Like there are so many people that wouldn't do that, right? They would wear their truest colors and make sure that everybody knows. all their agenda points and their politics and all this stuff. And it's like, who the hell cares? You're seeing them for like an hour. If you're talking about like extended family, an hour what? Every six months? Like, who cares? Like, I'm so with you. Like just, just I love, I, not to sound like a

sociopath. I love playing a character. I love that you brought that up, like sort of just like making the person feel like really buddy, buddy with you. Because it's no harm, no foul. It's not like your best friends after you leave that dinner table anyways. So whether that's what she was talking about or not, maybe she should try to, I don't know, see things their way, right? And if they really are too pretentious, maybe just call them on it. You could try that too. Sometimes that goes like really south, but you could like stir the pot a little and like let them know that you think that they're really dushy and see where that takes you.

At least it'll be fun. Yeah. I'm all about fun. Like, let's see what happens. Let's walk this through. Yeah. Yeah. Right?

Like, why not? Like, Suzanne, I don't give a shit that your son goes to Dalton and like, see what she says. Yeah. Or like get some statistics, right? Like private school kids have a way higher, you know, chance of substance abuse. And yes. They probably do. Yes, my kid is in a public school where he's probably not learning.

the thing, but he's going to be fucking cool. But he'll be cool. He'll be rad. Do we have another speak pipe? You better believe it, Benny Boy. Hi, Ben. Hi, Josh. I just had a question.

Love the pod. My partner and I are going to be going to New York City in October, and he's never been, and he's convinced that he's going to hate it. And I wanted to get some insight from Ben, who seems to pride himself in being quite the New Yorker. If he had any recommendations or things that he would. want to see that maybe aren't as choice. Because I think that's why he thinks he won't like it.

Again, on the pod. Thanks. Ben, I'll take this one. If you haven't seen the Statue of Liberty, treat yourself. I just, I have to say this, just to start. I get DMs like this all day long. Hey, I'm coming to New York. What should I see?

Hey, I'm coming to New York. What should I eat? I want to first say, thank you so much for calling in. Love you. so happy you're a listener. I'm not your tour guide. I'm not I'm not trip advisor. I can't, I don't leave.

It's so funny. Like, people think that because you're from New York, that you live this, like, lavish life of going to, like, all the cool places. I live within my neighborhood, and I don't go anywhere else. I can give you, like, a trendy restaurant or two. Was that too mean, Josh?

Should I cut that out? Hell no. Give it to her. You think so? Yes, and we're leaving in the fact that you even second-guessed it. Okay, fine. So, again, I'm sorry, but it's true. Like, I don't know how to, like, make those proper recommendations.

Like, I'm an infatuation or I'm, like, some listical. I also don't have enough information. Like, where are you guys from, first of all, so that I can tell you what maybe your husband would like or doesn't like. Why doesn't your husband want to come? Have you asked him that, right? Like, who doesn't want to come to New York? unless, of course, you're from like somewhere that's the polar opposite of New York.

And the reason you don't want to come to New York is because you think there's too many people. You don't like the hustle and bustle. And that may be so, right? Like maybe they're from Montana. And he won't like New York because it's not his vibe. That said, I don't have enough information. I will speak on behalf of the Greater America area, which is now having enough time outside of New York. And I love New York.

My DNA is New York. one day I will live again in New York. It's an intimidating endeavor to go to New York because you lose any semblance of familiarity, right? You won't have a car. Everything is going to be some sort of shared transportation. You're probably going to have a shit room unless you have $1,000 a night, right? If you're saying at a hotel or something.

So like your only oasis from the hustle and bustle is probably a 200 square foot room with a limited amount of channels on the TV. and it's just you and I can go downtown or whatever our thing is and like meander and enjoy. I like walking around like the Lower East Side. I like going to 14th Street and just kind of bopping around and looking at things and enjoying. But it's my space. I know it. Like even having been away 20 years, I can just come back and know it.

I think for a lot of people, they walk around and there's so much coming at them at one time. They go like, well, if I don't have a plan, I'm screwed. It's too intimidating. But I guess if you don't have a plan, like maybe this is just the type of traveler I am. Like I wouldn't come to New York expecting to see all of New York. Otherwise, New York isn't going to be fun. Like if you want to make it so touristy that you're like,

hitting this spot, hitting that spot. Like I just, I don't know, New York, you could have such an incredible time within the same mile radius. Yes. Like you don't have to go and see everything. Come back if you really liked it. Go pick an area, stay in it. Literally from Washington Heights down to the Lower East Side to Wall Street to Chelsea,

to wherever you want to stay. And I mean this sincerely, you can have an unbelievable time for three days without ever leaving the area or however long you're coming and find different things to do. And that's why New York is so exciting. Because no matter where you go, there's always something to do. there's always a new great restaurant. There's always a great old restaurant. There's always something to see.

There's a concert. There's a show. There's a whatever it may be. Right. So I wouldn't, to digress, I wouldn't put too much pressure on your trip. And I would come. I would have a great time. Like, I think we've spoken about this.

It's funny. I'm the opposite when I'm on vacation with my wife. My wife loves to just read by the beach. And I'm like, oh, no, I need to go see everything. Right. But for New York, I don't think that you need to plan out exactly what you're going to see. Just wake up in the morning, go, and you'll have a great day. I agree.

And I like, I love to stay at the standard on the Lower East side. And what's it? Cooper, Cooper's place? What's it called? St. I don't know. It's near St. Mark's. But it's Cooper Street.

Cooper Street. And if you think about that area, right? And again, I couldn't agree with you more. Don't put the stress on yourself. Because the stress is, to me, is a word. part like that phone that self-induced fomo of like I just spent all this money I got to check all the boxes like you could literally wake up there go to the crunch gym right there you know because you're gonna eat so you want to knock off a couple calories and then get like get a touristy lunch if you haven't had a hot dog from a hot dog stand or like if you want to have like a simple lunch whatever do your thing four blocks away is Washington square park beautiful NYU the alumni of the Osries go walk over around Washington Square Park, there's going to be people performing. If it's the summer, there's going to be like street rat kids bathing in the fountain. And then like walk over to the

chess players, watch them play chess like they do in the movies. Like, and it's a stroll. It's easy. See the college, go look at some stuff. If you really want, you can go to like Soho and shop, but who wants to do that? And then, or go to Prince Street pizza, which is close to there. And then midday after your nap, wake up, go to, go to. Vaneros, which is right there, another block away, get some nice Italian pastry. I'm talking lobster tail. I'm talking to canola. Dinner, you can tell them very food focus. Go to Mama Fuku, get some noodles. I mean, these are easy places you can just pop into. It's literally everything I just said is within a half mile of the hotel. And it's a non-stressed day, but you really did a lot.

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And Claudia, my wife, looked at the top of my head and said, Ben, I think your hair is thinning a little bit. And while that was incredibly scary at first, I realized that I had neutrophil. And Nutrifol has helped with my thinning hair. I take it regularly. And I think it could be really helpful to a lot of you. Nutriful is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement,

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maybe a week ago, just randomly popped in, got a slice. Look to my left, and there's gorgeous Josh Peck on the wall. Thank you. Just a gorgeous mug, smiling, photograph. Shout out, Dom, the owner, who's a big fan, who told me this great story, which I didn't even know, and I feel terrible about it because he's just like the sweetest.

So I was shooting Turner and Hooch in Vancouver for over the pandemic. And we were chatting. And I was just like, bro, I miss the pizza. I can't wait to get to New York. He goes, you know what? Let me send you some. I'm like, me? Come on.

That's too much. He goes, let me send it to you. So he sends it. I get a call. So obviously it's on dry ice or whatever, like Goldbelly style. I get a call like a week later from Canadian customs going, we have a package here. And we're going to need you to pay like a couple hundred dollar tariff on it. And they didn't say it was from Prince Street.

I'm like, this sounds like a telemarketer. Thank you. No, thank you. Not buying here. I don't need it. Basically, they. they held it for no reason. They finally sent it back after like three weeks,

didn't tell me what it was. It went bad in the box. And Dom had to spend like 500. He had already spent the tax like 500 bucks to send it. So I feel awful. I owe Dom 500 bucks, but I'm assuming this shoutout is enough and more. And that's crazy, isn't it?

That's crazy. It's even crazier that it returned to sender. I'm just thinking of him opening. after doing you such a solid, just like opening this rotten, disgusting, smelling three-week-old, terrible. Ugh, God, it's, by the way, I was about to say fuck the Canadian customs. It just fuck customs. Like, in general. Like, let me send my food.

Yes. Like, this stuff has happened before. Like, we'll go to Turks and Caicos. And, like, the good Jews we are, we like to bring in our own kosher meat because there's no kosher meat on the island. What does that mean? You fly with meat? Occasionally. It's not, it's a rare occurrence, but sometimes what a revelation.

So in your, in your carry on, we've got two ribbyes and a small skirt steak. What are we talking? Occasionally, yes. What? I'm talking, we're talking ground turkey? It could be. It could be. It depends on what we're thinking we want to eat.

A small filet? It could be. Chicken thighs? It could be. No, that's chicken thighs. I'm not a thigh guy. I'm big on the breasts. Wow.

I'm not a. clip that big on the breast. But the amount of money that you pay in meat that you then need to pay the tariff on, unbelievable. I'm not selling it. I'm eating it. It's the same thing with you. You're eating your pizza.

You're not selling the pizza. I guess you could have. Are you telling me there's no Hobat of Montego Bay? There could be. There could be. There could be. I'm just imagining you with a slow cooker and a cholent recipe. I mean, it could happen.

Sometimes you check it, but you typically check it below. It's a thing. It's a thing. How you keep it cold? Is there ice? Yeah, like kind of like gold belly, dry ice or like you put it in completely frozen to start.

And then you have extra ice packs. And by the time you get there, it's cold or still probably frozen. Or if anything, it's thawed and it's ready to go on the grill at your Airbnb. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately on the grill. That's not a bad plan. Now, are you marinating while it's under the hull of the plane?

It's interesting. You know, you could, I've never thought about this. You could pre-marinate it, then freeze it marinated. So that by the time you're there, it's thawed, marinated, throw it on the grill. Is there a less intense version of snakes on a plane called meat on a plane? Yes, and it's a porno. And that's the name of the episode. Okay.

Next caller. Hi, guys. My name is Abby. I'm from Colorado. I absolutely love the podcast. Also have to throw in there that I love your wives. My question is, what would be your last meal? I don't care.

Five courses, seven courses, however many freaking courses you want. What would be your last meal? Wow. I mean, I can start. I've done this before. You have done this. And I actually remember, I think we did something similar to this on an old episode. And my answer was so shitty.

and your answer was so freaking good. So I'm excited for you to go first so maybe I can like try to make it as good as yours. But. Well, shout out my boy, Josh, who has a show for a good mythical morning called Last Meals, where you actually tell them what your last meal would be.

Maybe we should go on it together. And then they have professional chefs and make it all. Ooh, fun. It really is fun. I'm in. As long as they get closer meat. And my mind was,

Penny Vodka. but made with a rigatoni shell and chicken parm, orange chicken and steam rice, beef, chow fun. We love a flat noodle. Macaroni and cheese baked in a cast iron skillet, a Coke zero. And then for dessert, there was mint chip ice cream cake, chocolate lava cake, and vanilla wedding cake. Oh my God. That sounded unbelievable. Thank you.

Unbelievable. Thank you so much. All right, I'm going to walk you through it, and I'm also going to try to give you restaurants where I'd get it from. I'm going to start off with a soup. I'm actually going to start off with two soups. One, a French onion soup from the diner.

Wow. I love a diner, French onion soup. Two, a mushroom barley soup from Second Avenue deli or pastrami queen. I love a mushroom barley. From there, I'm heading over to Hillstone. And at Hillstone, I'm getting an Osaka-style spicy tuna roll. So good. I literally dream about it.

From there, I'm going to, ooh, where should I pick? I'll do carbone chicken parm. Unbelievable. No, I just spoke at length about kosher meat. We're going down two trafe, two trafe places. Carbon, chicken parm, Peter Lugar's steak, filet side only, though. It's not against them. Just the filet side of the porterhouse is just so much more delicious.

And then dessert. dessert, dessert, dessert. I love like a delicious warm apple pie with a cold vanilla ice cream. I love that combo. I think it's so delicious. Apple crisp. So good.

So good. I also love those. What are those? You know those little like fruit pies with the custards? I love those. Is it growing up means realizing cake is for kids and pies for adults? Maybe. Maybe.

It's also, I mean, it's so, shout out to people that make great cake. There's so much bad cake out there. Yes. And nobody talks about that, right? There's so much bad cake. There's a lot of bad cake. Cake is too ubiquitous. It's everywhere.

And I think we need to embrace the pie. I think we need to be cooking more pies. And I think there need to be more pies on window cells being cooled by the wind. Is there a lot of bad pie? I feel like it's rare. that I'll meet a pie that I didn't like. Here's the thing about pies. You know you're gonna get less trans fat.

You're also going to have something seasonal because usually it's the fruit of the season, which is the hot pie at the moment. Ooh, I'd love a peach pie. I love pie. Peach anything, babe. It's some... Peach is so good. Peach sprit society, unbelievable.

It's the number one flavor. You know someone wrote me on my DMs that they don't like that I call you, babe, because they think it's too... to like we're just not we're not bro-y enough for them all right bro bro sounds sick let's go bro let's go let's go brother fuck yes straight dude let's do let's do let's do it you know what see I like that you said that because we're just so comfortable with each other right and with ourselves that we we say babe we say

boyci we say boy chick we say more babe we say queen it's because we're confident it's Because most Jewish men are raised by such matriarchal women that it, it just, it has a beautiful kind of wonderful sort of impression, washing effect on our, we're just, we're, we're girl guys. Is that right? We're guys, girls? Yes. Girl guys. F that guy.

Speaking of girl guys. There was a girl who said it. Oh, F that girl. Unless actually, I mean, she's fine. Whatever. No, ever, ever, ever, ever. It is what it is. Oh, I completely lost my train of thought.

That stinks. What are you nuts? Yes, let's do it, please. Or you have another speak pipe. I don't have a speak pipe, but I actually had a story, which would lead to a fun listical. Let's go story and then we'll go, what are you nuts? Because Kevin Costner is currently in the middle of a divorce

and his estranged wife wants 250K a month in child support. Ouch. So hearing that, I decided to look up 10 of the most expensive divorce settlement in history. First one, out the gate, the most expensive. What do you think, Ben? Who do you think it might be? This is, oh, who do I think it might be? Yes, who do you think has had the most expensive divorce?

I'm happy to give you hints. Yeah, give me a hint. this divorce could have happened in two-day free delivery. Bezos. Yeah, it's Bezos. Divorce Prime. He got his divorce on Prime. Yeah, and what is it, what is it monthly?

Is it broken down by monthly or it's a lump sum? No, he just handed her $38 billion. He didn't, excuse me, shut up man, Josh, you toxic male. He didn't hand her anything. She was very deserving and what was rightfully hers was $38 billion. dollars. Nuts. That said, back to Kevin Costner for one second. I did remember hearing, though. I think I spoke about this. I was on the toast with Claudia last week and she brought up Kevin Costner. And he has a $150 million home and was going to buy her a $1.5 million house as like a

see you later. I'm staying at my house. And I do think that there's a far cry between, I don't think, that Bezos's wife needed $38 billion. That's pretty nuts. Like once you get into the bees, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but that just, I think she would have been fine with a billion. I'll tell you what. I will tell you that Jeff Bezos's ex-wife, McKenzie Scott,

is maybe the most badass philanthropist that has ever walked this earth. She uses it. She uses the money. I think in three years she gave quietly, by the way, because obviously if I'm telling you about it, quietly gave away $10 billion. Like when you're giving away that much,

you are making such a massive impact on different charities. You're literally changing lives. You know what? You bring up a great point. Taking the billions from the billionaires and giving it to people that know how to spend it. Yes. On not submarines.

14 billion. Thank you, Marshall. Wow, we really have, this is a professional podcast. Our producers looking up things for us live on the air. That was so good. That was so good and quick. I love it. McKenzie Scott is a fucking badass.

And really quickly, it's worth mentioning that Tiger Woods and his wife, that settlement was for $710 million. Can you imagine if he had done live golf? It would have been a flash in the pan. Now Tiger's hurting. No, I'm kidding. Wait, I didn't even know he. had that much money. Oh, he's in the billions. He gave her $750 million. 710. Oh my God. Oh my God.

That's nice. And sorry, you heard me say it right. He gave her $710 million. Toxic. That's what it is. Wow. Because that's what it is. And if rolls are reversed, I'd say the same thing. She gave him $710 million. There's a difference between giving somebody money or so that they can live this you can live the exact same life that you probably lived with tiger woods for 50 mil nah no no if you get divorced from tiger because is that because is that the point the point is that you should be able to live the same type of life that you were living with that person the standard of living you have grown accustomed to so says the great state of new york in california wow that's crazy it's so i have a i have a question on that

strategically, what if you knew that you were going to divorce your husband or wife, right? But you plan this two years out. So you significantly lower your standard of living. Over the next two years, you downgrade your home. You didn't have to. You move from your $50 million penhouse into a $5,000 a month, one-bedroom rental. And then all of a sudden you get divorced. Has anybody ever thought of that?

Yes, it's called hiding your money and they always find it. 100%. Damn it. I had a wild, I knew a guy, and I don't think he's a good guy, so I don't mind telling this story. He was a hedge fund guy. He was a master in sort of shorting stocks. He got in some hot water a couple of years ago, but he was married, got divorced, had to pay

a huge amount of alimony and child support as well. He should have to. A few years later, the wife gets married, I'm sorry, meets a guy, they have a relationship, they get engaged, and they have a wedding. And he attends the wedding. And he's happy that if you are to remarry after a divorce, you no longer get alimony. Of course, you still get child support, but it's assumed that you will now be, you know, you're in a new relationship, you no longer get the alimony from your ex-husband.

So he stopped paying. Well, six months later, the police show up at his door and they say, Mr. So-and-so, we're here to take you to jail on back alimony payments. He goes, I was at the wedding. They just got married. What are you talking about? He comes to find out that the wedding and the engagement was all a bit of a show. And the ceremony was a promise of love ceremony and that she chose not to file for a marriage license so that she would continue to get. the alimony and he had to not only sit in jail but pay back alimony for six months.

Oh my God. What did what what did he do to her? He's a no good one. That's an that's an angry, vengeful clearly for the right reason, woman. Yes. What did he do? Wow. Good for her.

Wow. Good for her. Ceremony of love though. But a bunch of hooey. What a bunch of hooey. What are you nuts? Do you have your What are you nuts moment of the week? I do.

It's a short one. It's the way that I feel every summer, maybe spring, summer, walking around the city, taking my dog for walks, perusing, talking on the phone. I love taking a phone call on the street. Half the time, if I'm on the phone with you, you'll hear cars honking. I like walking and talking. I like seeing what's around me, breathing in that crisp air. something happens when the weather just peaks over 60 where runners just say, I'm going to take off my shirt and I'm going to run around the streets of New York completely shirtless. And all I got to say is, what are you nuts?

It's enough. It's enough. It's not for you, right? You're not doing it. I'm sorry. You're not doing it so that you're more comfortable, right, because you prefer to, like, you're doing it to show me your body. You're doing it for all these strangers to give you validation or this validation that you've concocted in your head

that if you show your big muscles, that you can run around the city and make yourself feel better about yourself. And I just got to tell you, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it ever again. What are you nuts? I love that. I wish I wasn't afraid to take my shirt off in public or private

because I would be perpetuating that problem for you. I'd be the shirtless runner. You would. Probably. Why? Why? I don't even know. I have never,

I've literally gone like this and for the audio only listeners, I'm turning around right now. I have taken off my shirt, be it at the gym, in front of my wife, whomever, my entire life like this. You know what?

I always turn around. I've never been like a, woo, like that's just never been my, I'm never giving full frontal shirt off. So the power, to feel that way of here I am nips out, you know, just just a vitamin D magnet. I don't know, probably would feel pretty good, but maybe not.

Fine. I have a second, what do you know? Please. Can I do another one? Okay. Because it reminded me of something. For Father's Day, we went to a day spa in Queens. I won't give the name of this place because I'm going to speak negatively about it.

But we went to a day spa, me, my dad, my mom, my sister. And we all got our separate massages. There's a men's locker room, a women's locker room. And they have all of these hot tubs, jacuzis, cold plunges, saunas, steam rooms, whatever, in the men's area. Me and my dad walk in and everyone is completely naked, completely naked. Bush, weaner, everything. Everyone, everything.

And me and my dad are there wearing bathing suits because me and my father are incredibly close. That's it. I don't need to see a schmeck. He doesn't need to see my schmeck. It's just not necessary that we're in such close quarters with each other schmecks out. And maybe in a hot tub, it's just not necessary. It's not necessary at all. Security guard comes up to us and says, excuse me, the two of you, you're going to have to leave.

He said, why? What's wrong? No bathing suits allowed. What are you nuts? I can't, like, I couldn't believe it. I was thinking to myself, these people are just all completely naked because they're so, like, confident. It's like their thing. Maybe they come here all the time.

It's literally, you're not allowed to wear a bathing suit. It was, my mind was blown. And also just like, I don't know, like, like guys that just walk around, how many different ways can I say the word penis? I said, Schmack, I was about to say Johnson. How are you a man that just walks around freely with your dung hanging low, just like walking around guys that you've never met? It just, schvance. It blows my mind.

It blows my mind. I'm sorry, it blows my mind. I agree. And I actually have a tertiary or a aligned what you're nuts moment of what you just said, which is different euphemisms for the word penis, which is once, I don't know how it came up, but I was telling some story to the Hillary Duff. And I remember calling a penis a hog. And I'm like, I was like, so you know, you're walking around if you got your hog out.

And she stopped me dead in my tracks. He said, did you just call a penis a hog? And I was like, too much. So that was embarrassing. So Josh, what are you freaking nuts? A hog. That's a good one. I mean, yeah, I just think it's really funny calling it a hog, which literally in saying that, my Winnie Nuts moment literally left my brain box except I was about to, oh, oh, I got it, I got it,

I got it. Okay, here's the thing. I don't agree with it, but this is the standard in which we, this is the world in which we're living in. And we can't live in the world that we think we deserve, we have to live in the world that is. And the world that is, is that punctuation is off a fucking cliff. And if I receive a text message without an exclamation point, I assume you're mad at me. It's ridiculous. Everything has become, hey, okay, great. And it's insane. We're insane people. If we talked the way we text, everything would be like, see you there! But we can't go back now. And I have a couple friends who are real stoic, weirdo texters who have lack of punctuation,

and I'm wounded when they text me. So my answer is, what are you nuts? I know you're technically doing the right thing, but join us in the current day in which we live. they need to prioritize your mental health and everyone around them. I couldn't agree with you more. The people that won't get on the exclamation point train, just tell me you hate me. If you write sounds good,

I'm going to think that it's bad. Yes. Right, right, sounds good, exclamation point. It's just simple etiquette. If I write my wife, how are you, or how's it going and she writes fine, a call is coming into her phone.

30 seconds later would be going, what's wrong? Are you? And by the way, who's sick? And you're right. Yes. And you're right. You were right.

Something was wrong. I would almost sometimes if I get a worse reaction like a, meh, like a, or just some sort of telling emoji, then I'll go like, oh, she's annoyed because so and so. Her sister did something or she didn't like this or, you know, she's overtired from the kids. But if I just get a fine, that might as well be, everything's awful, you know, and you're the cause. Yep. Yep. Ben, what an episode. I'm so proud of us. Me too. Me too. I feel this way after every episode. I wonder if it'll ever get old. I loved it. I wonder if it'll ever get old. I will tell you this. The premiere for Oppenheimer is coming up. It's next week. If I go, I'm going to find a way to get you in. I don't know if I'm going, but if I go,

you're coming. What's the date on it? 17th. 17. Will you be in L.A.? I'll be there? You'll be in L.A.? I mean, I'll be there if I'm supposed, like, if I have it. Oh, it's in New York on the 17th? Oh, oh my God. Of course I have to come. I'm going to figure it out. Okay. Well, if you need me to pull some strength. Hold on. Let me practice. Let me practice where I want to say. Mr. Nolan. Mr. Soffer, Bruce's son. I do, I do. Need a cuggle. We'll trade tickets for cuggles. You had Derma? Thank you for listening to the good guys. Rate it.

Five stars. What are you nuts? If you don't, tell a friend, listen to it on Amazon, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, everywhere podcasts are available. But comment and rated it really means the world to us. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Thank you.