Good Guys - National Meatball League

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

This episode was paid for by Big Meat. Welcome back! This week, the guys share Super Bowl fun facts, including the most popular foods consumed on the holiday, why eggs are icky, and answer your speakpipes: lowering standards, wrongful termination, long nuts, and more! What are ya nuts?! Or should we say.... what's wrong with ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: squarespace.com/goodguys to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Sopper. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Mazel morons. Mosul morons.

Josh, you're looking extra gorgeous today. Say more about that. Is that a Kings hat? Are you big L.A. Kings fan? Biggest. Love them. You love hockey. I love hockey.

You don't like hockey. I don't like hockey. But you love hockey. Say more about that. But you're a typical New York. who loves basketball. Like, it's a religion. Love it.

And it's also a religion. It's like really not like hockey that much. Like, it is what it is. And is it? Like I just, I don't know. Do Jews love basketball because it's the only place we can kind of compete in a sport? It's because, for whatever reason, Jews can hit that corner three, baby. We can spot up in the corner and swish that three.

We're good at it. We're good at it. And honestly, it doesn't matter how tall you are, how athletic you are. Shoot or shoot. Shoot or shoot. It's also why Jews play a lot of golf. because like it's the same thing, shoot or shoot. But hockey, hockey's tough.

Hockey is a very physical sport. It's funny on Sunday, my son is in a basketball league. And so I was taking him out there for the first hour. It was like nine in the morning. And then I'm walking by these other guys who like obviously have pickup leagues where they just play every Sunday. And it was a gamut. I mean, these are not like young bucks.

These are guys in their 40s, 50s, 60s who obviously play together all the time. And the level of shit talking just reinforced the idea for me that I will never, ever play basketball because I was like this would hurt my feelings so bad that I would not be able to continue playing. That said, you're going to be a traveling, you're going to be a dad on a traveling team because your son, Max, is going to be fantastic. His shot is smooth as butter, smooth as better. I get it. Home court advantage in the little shot thing in your garage. I get it. We're going to get him on a real hoop 10 feet. Then we'll see how good he is. That said, fantastic. It's going to be great. So you're going to have to.

I spend a lot of time, a lot of games. It's funny, my good friend, Dan Cruz, shout out. His son's a little older. And he actually invited my son, Max, and I, to USC women's basketball games. So we went to watch, and it was fabulous. And the star player for the USC women's basketball team is, her name is Juju. And she is good. She is spectacular.

But, you know, the people, they're rooting her on, and they're screaming, Joe! Joe! And I'm looking around going, should I get out of here? Somebody fell the fire alarm. Oh my God. I mean, I was like,

I felt like I was in Dresden. I was like, what the fuck is happening? This is 1942, Berlin? Oh, that's good. Have you been to a King's game this year? I haven't been to a King's game this year. Last year, my son was the,

I call him the puck boy, but the bench kid. Basically, it was so cool. The L.A. Kings invited him, and he got to stand at the tunnel as all the guys walk out and give him pounds. And my sister-in-law, Taylor, got to ride the Zamboni. It was the time of our lives. We love it. I just, it's an exceptional sport. Love that. My issue with it, I think it's the same issue that I have with soccer. I really don't like soccer. I think I just don't like sports where it's hard to score. I like a ton of action. That's like basketball. you get nine, you get, what is it, at least like a hundred scores a game, right, would be that math. Football, you get a lot too. It's just, it's, it's, you could wait a very, very long time of what I perceive as no action in those sports. Yeah, it's an interesting thing.

And I think it's worth talking about and this will probably come out after the Super Bowl. But, you know, we had quite the weekend of playoffs. And I know that we're more of a female centric pot and we love our queens, but we also love our queens who love sports. And it should be said that the great Taylor Swift's boyfriend has made it to the Super Bowl, Travis Kelsey and the Kansas City Chiefs. And it's going to be against another team. I'm sure you're a fan of these San Francisco 49ers. We absolutely love the Niners.

The Juice Checks, just family in our house. We love them. We love them. And I don't know if you've seen what Christian News check. She makes all of those unbelievable jackets that have gone viral. You saw Taylor Swift's jacket. They spoke about it on ESPN. Like she makes these amazing puffers when viral for her jackets.

Kyle had an amazing game. 49ers had an amazing half. The first half, they were absolutely terrible. But Claudia posted on her Instagram that she thinks they're going to win by three. And lo and behold, they won by three. Wow. What kind of sorcery is that? And yes, this podcast is being recorded before the Super Bowl.

You're just going to have to take our word on that one. And I want to know, Josh, your Super Bowl prediction. My Super Bowl prediction is that the 49ers win by the Super Bowl. I'm six. No basis. I just, as my son would say, I like their costume colors. I like their costume colors. I will say that the 49ers also beat the chiefs 32 to 23. It's such a hard score to hit. I'm going to lose. How do you even get to 32? Who are you having over or where are you watching? You're obviously watching. You're a football family. This is a big. big O'Brien time, right?

My father-in-law and ex-professional football player, we will probably watch it at their home. And it won't be fun because the kids are going to be everywhere. And I'm going to be chasing after the kids. I'm going to be babysitting while, like, doing drive-bys by every type of food possible. There's going to be dips. There's going to be, I'll probably wind up getting a couple hundred wings from Hot Wings Cafe. There'll be nine of us, but I'll be like, we're going to need about 2,000 wings.

because it's how I roll. Maybe some wings from Wingstop. We love Wingstop. We do love wings from Wingstop. I certainly might consider getting some wings from Wingstop, like the garlic Parmesan offering. Shout out Wingstop, extra crispy. Extra credit.

What about you? I'm going to be with the lovely family in Florida. We are going to be watching at Jackie's house on her big, beautiful TV. I'm going to make some kind of a recipe. I don't know what I'm going to make yet, but wings are wings. are essential. Wings are essential. And for everybody that's going to tell me that boneless wings aren't wings, I completely agree. But that doesn't take away from the fact that they're delicious.

You're taking a chicken finger and completely submerging it in a honey mustard or in a barbecue sauce or in a buffalo sauce. That is an absolutely delicious meal. So maybe a boneless wing, a regular wing. I like a big sandwich, like a nice, long sub. One year, I made a 30-foot sub. I made a 30-foot sub. and my friend's house. I walked in 30 foot long piece of bread, enough meat, unbelievable. So yeah, that's probably what I'll do. Maybe I'll make a big sub. I'm going to make a big sub.

Okay, this was from some unsolicited source, but they dared to say, and this can't be true, that the number one Super Bowl food of 2023, the top big game food across the country is meatballs. Are the number one food? This can't be. This has got to be. This has got to be in the red meat lobby.

It can't be. No way. Paid for by big meat. It's got to be paid for by big meat. Here we go. Top 17. Meat. Most popular Super Bowl foods ranked from mashed.

Let's see. Number 16, anything football shaped? Fair enough. 15, the sad veggie platter. And this is crazy. The number 14 was nachos. I would think that would be way higher. Thoughts?

Yeah. I would think that that would be way higher too. It's funny that the veggie platter is on there as the sad veggie platter. It is an automatic order. You have to order it. You do need to order it. And I just think it's only sad because you're not putting any effort in. And it can be better.

And it can be welcome because you need something to cut through all that grease. So the platter that you buy at like a whole foods. No good. The pre-cutter. celery, the pre-cut carrot, the pre-cut old broccoli, and that ranch in the middle, where somebody peels off the top plastic, throws it in your face and is like, here, have a vegetable. That's no good. But a nice homemade veggie platter, a nice homemade veggie platter.

Maybe you get a, maybe you get some purple broccoli in there. Maybe you get a little hikima, right? Maybe you get a hummus, not just a ranch, like something deep. I agree that you can do a veggie platter. a right. Speaking of humus, you know, the other day my wife was making an eggplant, a version of her own little Baba Ganus, which is basically just like a blended eggplant oil, garlic, salt, delicious thing. And I tried it and I was like, hmm, it's good. I said, did you put in any tahina? And she goes, what did you just say to me? I was like, tahina. And she goes,

Tahini? And I go Yeah, Tahina. And she goes, don't ever say that to me again. By the way, you pronounced it perfectly. I know. Page, let him, this is in his blood. He's been saying Tejina since he was born.

It's in his blood, Tahini. Tahini. I'm half Sephardic, I think, from my dad's side who I never met. Yeah. I mean, can't I just embrace my roots? It's also nice to say things with a good. good with the, with the proper tongue. When I'm making my recipe videos, I put in a little cilantro in the voiceover.

I'll say cilantro. Yeah, cilantro. Anything wrong with that? It's cilantro. It's cilantro. Is cilantro Spanish for soap greens? Because that's how it tastes to me. It tastes like soap.

Interesting. I like cilantro. I wouldn't eat a plane. But it's good in things. Are eating it plain? No. You just go to go into the grocery store getting a thing of cilantro. Damn it.

This tastes like soap. I'm good, babe. I think I've developed a little more of a taste of it. I'll tell you what recently that it's been turning me off and I can't believe it, but maybe it's because one day I will grow into Guy Fieri. Eggs, eggs are starting to turn me off. Really? Yeah.

In what capacity? How often were you eating them? How are you eating them? You know, I used to love like a nice, what do you call it, over easy, over some lovely toast. I used to love a nice poached egg on an avocado toast or perhaps a carbana. or even what else did I like egg on? Yeah, I mean, I love a matzabai,

but I think that's because I like cinnamon sugar and or sour cream and apple sauce. Delish. Eggs in general have been freaking me out, especially like scrambled eggs. Interesting, yeah. I'm an omelette connoisseur. I absolutely love an omelet.

That said, when you go to a nice resort and they take the omelet and then they just dump all the filling in the middle and fold it, disgusting. Do you know what I'm talking about? Either you can have the vegetables in the egg, right? Or on the egg. Toppings belong in the egg.

That's right. Absolutely. But scrambled eggs, you know, it depends on where you get it. Like the Delta Sky Lounge can absolutely make you terrified of scrambled eggs. When you get that whole huge tin and it's just like loose, it's no good. It's no good. I think it was overdone. Like, I think there was such a decade of the add an egg.

And it's similarly for me with avocado. I'm like, you know what? I'm just, I think, you know what? It's not you, it's me, but I need a break. I need a break. It's interesting. Are, I wonder, are we over eggs? I still love eggs, but maybe, maybe you're onto something.

How long can we like the exact same thing over and over and over again? Maybe there's probably a better source of protein. There's definitely a better source of protein. Let's be honest, every egg's a conflict egg, because those are not coming from happy chickens, you know? No, they are not. No, they are not. It sucks. No, they're not.

And chickens? You like hard boiled eggs? Again, hard boiled eggs reminds me of substitute teachers. I just feel like if I see a hard boiled egg in Tupperware, I go, I'm late for humanities. Because just every public school teacher in New York was sucking down over just disgusting hard boiled eggs through their like coffee stained teeth. I absolutely hate them. And shout out my sister-in-law, Olivia. her to death, but she makes her daughter, Michaela's lunch, and I'll see her cut up those hard-boiled

eggs, and I'll see her put in a scoop of tuna, and I'm going to say, this kid's going to have no friends. You're sending her in? She's, no one's going to talk to her. She's sliced hard-boiled eggs in a scoop of tuna. She's probably eating with her hands. They're going to make these nicknames. They're never going to leave her. Can you imagine Michaela's toots in two hours after she has lunch? She'll clear a room. She'll clear a room. She'll clear a room. I do like, occasionally, tolerate an egg salad. Oh, I love, I love egg salad sandwich. I do like that. I think it's just the mayonnaise, though. The mayonnaise. The mayo binds the egg. The mayo binds the tuna. It binds the chicken. Mayo mayonnaise. What's your favorite mayo brand? I don't think we've ever spoken about this. I do actually

think we have spoken about it. Well, maybe you should talk about it again. I mean, I'll be honest, I would be more inclined to have a veganase made with a nice avocado oil from like a, or if I'm going to. What are you? What are you with Big Marshall? It's like big vegan. I do like, but I or primal foods has, uh, if you're going to have mayonnaise, it can only be one of two things. Either you have to make it yourself, which who are you? Or it's got to be made with avocado oil, which primal foods, almost everything's made with avocado oil because it's gross. Why? Because of all of like the bad shit in it, like the soybean oils and all that crap. Yeah.

But Helmonds is just so good. I know. Like, forget about, like, everything is carcinogenic. Everything, right? You walk down the street. You walk funny. You're going to get cancer. It's just the world that we live in.

So throw that all out the window. The best is Helmins. It's got to be the best. There's so many people that are like, dukes, dukes, dukes. Fuck your dukes. Is it insensitive if we rank cancer from best to worse? Okay, okay, yeah. Okay, I would say probably the worst test to be brain, right?

Okay, so you want to start with the worst. Okay, yes. I would say brain, a glioblastoma multiform, which is the most. What? Of course you know the name. I go in, brain. My next one is going to be shin. Like, shin.

And you, isn't that a Hebrew? Isn't that a Hebrew character, Shig, Gimel? And you have the scientific name. I like it. Okay. One is brain. What's two? Yeah, glioblastoma multiform, which is the most common type of brain tumor.

And sadly, the most fatal. And, yeah, it's very, it's very, very challenging. I know a lot about the brain. I'm a big fan of the show Lennox Hill. Shout out, Dr. John Bookbar. I'm a big fan. What's two? Two has got to be.

Cancreous. No good. That Steve Jobs had that. That's bad. Very fatal. Very, oh, people are so triggered right now. I know it. I'm so sorry for anyone's loss.

Yeah, me too. Is three breasts? Is three breasts? Can be depends on the mutation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Four shin.

Yeah. No, let's go. Let's start getting light. Like, I feel like testicular is pretty easy to just like, boom, you pop one of those babies out. Done. You know? Thank God.

Thank God. God. That can be, or like thyroid. Thyroid's a quick one, which I don't mean to bring it up. You know, you're on the OZamps. You never know. It's the one thing. I mean, where we're, you are on the side. You're on Jillian Michael's big anti-OZemic. You're just upset that you lost weight before you had OZemPEC.

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So one more time, go to Squarespace.com slash good guys. Should we get to some speak pipes? I would love to do a speak pipe. I would love to hear from a moron. From our resident morons, if you want any advice, if you have a question for us, if you would like us to talk to you in any way, go to speakpipe.com slash good guys.

Keep it brief, but we will be glad to talk to you. And I've got some good ones here. And I really will go for it. No, just quickly. We're also, I got a bunch of DMs about this. If you want to leave us a what are you nuts? You think it's nuts enough? Feel free to leave whatever you want on SpeakPipe.

Sure, we're here to get. you advice, but if you want to just say something to us, if you want to, I don't know, give us some money. Yes. I don't know, like just invite us to some lavish resort. Say whatever you want on SpeakPipe. Yeah, shout out. If you want to invite us to the four seasons, Putamita, I am in. I will take my family and I will post, post, post, post away. I like the people, please, when they give me free things. Absolutely in. And shout out the Boko Ritone. We're going to be hosting, hosting Josh there. I'm going to be there. Shout out the Boker Riton. And if any other hotels want a shout out, all they got to do, hostess.

Wow. That's incredible. I'm cutting that out. Okay, first, let's hear from Downendame, from Peter. Hey, Josh and Ben, down under Moron here. I can confirm that there is indeed a men shortage down here in Australia. I'm 36, and time is a ticket. Who's going to look after me when I'm old?

I need to get the ball rolling. Do you have any advice? How do I need a man? How do I lower my standards? So it is someone available for me. Help me. I reckon she's having a hard time, Ben. Down under moron.

That's so good. That's the name of the episode, Down Under Moron. It's, oh, man. If there's a mail shortage, I think you just got to move. Like, that sounds maybe you just, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe the guys there aren't for you. You sound lovely. Clearly, you have a great taste in podcasts. You sound incredible, Pita. You're just adorable and lovely. Is her name Pita like the chip? P-E-T-A. Like, yeah, pita. Or like the animal rights organization? Yes, like the

animal rights organization. All right. So honestly, I'd recommend changing your name. I think that'll really help with getting you some new opportunities. Maybe like a nice Rachel? I think Pete is tough. Any of Abraham's kids, a Sarah, a Rivka, a Leah. You could even go non-Jewish. You could go Courtney. Peter. Peter's tough. Peter's tough. I was, no, the second half of the question was, how do I lower my standards, which I think is interesting. It is interesting, isn't it, right? Wow, Marshall. We don't know what she, we don't know what she looks like. How do we know? Like, it's not all about looks, Ben. Well, if she's lowering her standards, we need to know how far we're lowering it to.

And if it's justified, maybe she should be holding that standard. Yeah, but she could also be a closet case where she needs to, you know, hide in a closet because she's a four. But she's got high standards because she's a real smart broad. I'm cutting that out. Got it. So you think that she's talking about lowering her standards intellectually? Typically when you say lower standards, it has everything to do with looks. That's it.

I don't know. Oh yeah, I'm now going to start going for dumb guys. I mean, I don't mean to air out like my sister-in-law, Taylor. I love you, Taylor. But she is just like the bees and he. She happens to be single. I don't think she'd mind me saying it. She is like stunning, cool career person.

Has it all going on. And sometimes when I ask her what's going on in the dating game, she'll say things like, I would never date someone from my work. Or I would never date someone from XYZ. I go, well, how are you ever going to meet people? Huh? Yeah. How are you ever going to meet?

The apps. The apps. And she would never do an apps. And I go, Tatee, what's going on here? Maybe you got to, you know, lower the bars slightly. How old is Taylor? She's 36. Plenty of time.

We're good. All right. Plenty of time. Pita, too? She can move to Australia and be with Pita. That would be cute. Listen, I need a reason to go to Melbourne. I'm sorry.

Will you agree with me that she needs to change her name for Pita? No, that's mean. Yeah, that's not nice Peter, I think you're lovely I think unfortunately it is one of the What if her last name's Griffin Peter Griffin Now that's good

Whatever last name's Brad I don't know why I can't meet anyone My name's Peter Griffin What Marshall What if her last name's Brad Peter Brad Maybe Oh Peter

Peter maybe you find a nice guy Boston because he'll already say your name perfectly. Yeah, this is my wife, Peter. And again, I'm sorry. Husbands don't want a man. Her name is Peter. It's like Peter Pan. This is my wife Peter.

Isn't that a name from Hunger Games, PETA? I don't know. Yeah, it is. I don't know. I mean, I only saw the first one. I don't know. After I saw No Hard Feelings, I have a big crush on Jennifer Lawrence, so I can't keep bringing her up.

Jennifer Lawrence is fantastic. She is. Did I ever tell you, there's not really a story to this, but we were at the same wedding in Morocco. In Morocco? Yeah, we were both at the same wedding in Morocco. You've been to Morocco, Marrakesh, Casablanca? Yes, I have for a wedding. Fantastic place.

The resorts, you think we have five stars here? Throw those out the window. Five stars there? A plus. I'm dying to go to Morocco. It's like very high on my list. I want to go to the Shuk. I want to go to the bazaar.

I want to go, I want to go negotiate for some spices. So we'll do. We're going to do a two-prong trip. We're going to do an Israel trip and we're going to do a Morocco. Fantastic. We'll call Brian Kelly, charter the plane. It's done. Yes. I love that. I love that idea. It would be an honor and a pleasure. Maybe we stop in Greece too. I've always wanted to go to Greece, never been. I've never been either. I love olive oil, love Constantinople, and love the early roots of democracy. I love it. And Zeus. Don't you just want to see a nice statue of Zeus? Yes, I love mythology. But Peter, before we let you go,

and I know you're not here. I just don't want you to be too hard on yourself. It's not easy finding the right person, but inevitably, I think there has to, I wouldn't call settling. I would say that there's just going to be like, you're going to have to become very clear

on what your one or two non-negotiables are, and then you might have to negotiate on everything else. But if you find someone who checks the boxes of one and two, then maybe you're okay with the fact that they, like, have a comb over, and they're from Dorchester, Massachusetts. And yes, all jokes aside, don't change your name. Pita's a lovely name.

Maybe it's a family name. Maybe you're named after your father. It's a fantastic name. And in terms of potentially lowering your standards, just make sure that you know what's really important to you. What's really important. Don't give up what's really important. Maybe give up the things that are less important.

Okay, next one from Jessica. Traffic one. So I'll try with it. Like a smaller boyfriend. Or is this completely ridiculous? This guy has long nuts. Right? This guy is long nuts.

He has long nuts. But her new boyfriend doesn't. Maybe the issues with the new boyfriend, you know what I'm saying? I don't know if I've ever, have I told this story? I'm going to venture to guess. No. I have long nuts. Oh, man.

We can't get this close, Ben. And I can tell you that I know exactly how it happened. I can just hear my mom. mom's voice right now. This is a part of the podcast where I hear from her after and she goes, was it necessary? Well, Barb, you'll see. It's a medical condition.

Talk about the sexual organs. Sorry, go for it. On the day that I was born, I came out of my mother with a very, very, very large nut sack, filled with fluid. Apparently, my dad said it was bright red. And the first thing they did needle in, suck out the fluid. And so I was left with. maybe a larger nut tech, unless it's a normal nut tech.

It's a big, it's, they're big nuts. Yeah, see, this is a little bit too much. Big nuts. But so maybe this guy also had too much fluid when he was born. Honestly, it's a disability. She shouldn't be mean to the disabled. He was probably born with something. It is what it is.

And the new guy with like the tight nut. I don't know. It's less fun. You can't like pick him up and throw him over your shoulder, Josh? I just wonder how this woman was able to figure out that an actual banana could be covered. And I'm imagining this was a scenario. area that she was going down on said big balls. And she was like, ow, muscle cramp, muscle cramp, but she didn't have a muscle cramp.

I need potassium. And she runs and gets a banana. And then she quickly, for scale, checks that it is actually the size of said, let's just call it jingle bells, because I don't want to hear from you, Barb. I know, you're right, mom. This is a gross segment. And I'll get through it. Yeah, I mean, I would say that's, look, if after five years, it didn't kill him,

probably won't. And I would say, if it didn't bother you, it won't bother the next person, and be happy with your new boyfriend with normal anatomy. Two things. One, I didn't hear the banana piece. It must have cut out. That is a very big sack. And I want to be very clear. My sack is nowhere near banana height. Nowhere near. Just to make sure that we've covered off on those piece. There's variants of bananas. True. It could have been a plantain. Plantain, right. Plantanos. They're so tough. They are. Yeah. Yeah. But she's worried about him being sick.

What? Long nuts. There's nothing. It's fine. Yeah. He's fine. There's nothing, nothing wrong.

It's just a little. It is what it is. Ed's character. Marshall, would that be a deal breaker for you? Am I allowed to ask that? Am I going to get written up by HR, in which case I take it all back?

No, no, no. And no, I don't care. You heard it here first, guys. Marshall doesn't care. My DMs now are going to be. You're just going to have all these people with long nuts. That's right. Bring it on.

Hey, guys, I have a crazy story for you, and I want to just know what you would do in this situation. So my previous job, I worked there for three or four years, and my boss was probably one of my really, really good friends, I would say. I was doing really well in the, at my job, I was moving up. You know, I was doing really good on all my performance indexes, all that good stuff. He walks in one day and just fires me for no reason. He doesn't give me a reason.

He just says, you know, we got to let him. that you are going in a different direction. I was blown away, but I backed up my desk and left. And he said, we're going to, we'll still be friends and all this and that. I'm like, yeah, okay, sure. So six or seven months goes by, and I don't really hear from him that much. And I get a random call from an old coworker, and he says, you'll never believe it. Let's call him John.

John just got fired for embezzlement. He's been embezzling for years. And the reason you got fired is because he tried to pin it on you. And then we, his, his wife. wife, his wife has a, she started a photography page and all of her posts on Instagram and Facebook are all Google stock images. So she tries to book clients claiming her Google stock image photos are hers. And so people will pay her for her pictures thinking that they're getting the Google stock quality when they're just, when she sucks. So what would you do in the situation?

I want to cut these people off completely. What do you think? Wow. David, 1,800, fuck these people. Cut, cut, cut, cut them out with an emotional hedge clippers and sue your former employer. Cut them out immediately. We don't need to be friends with people like this. Tried to pin it on you. Ron, it's far away from these people as humanly possible. And to the person who's trying to make, to his wife,

who's trying to make a living, scamming people with the photographs. So there's no reviews? There's no reviews. You thought that you were getting this beautiful, what is it? Black magic, is that the name of the camera? What's that amazing camera? Is that not what it's called? The black magic, yeah, it's amazing.

Yeah, the black, amazing camera. And then all of a sudden you get this, this iPhone, you know, it's very simple. Bad reviews, maybe leave bad reviews, or actually don't get involved. You don't want enemies like this. You don't want enemies like this. Just distance yourself. You know that meme Homer Simpson backing up into the hedges, that's you. Back up into the hedges, disappear.

You'll never see him again. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you about a bad friend that I had, David, where my buddy Jeff, we He used to have a great time. We'd go on vacations. He was really wealthy at a plane. Suddenly he dies. And all of a sudden, my name's out there on this, like, in quotes, manifest.

Like, I'm getting shit because all I wanted to do is have a good time with my friend Stephen Hawking. I just wanted to hear astrophysics lectures. And suddenly, well, I'm going to blame. It's nuts. You got to be careful you hang out with. I really felt bad for you. I'm like, wow, Josh had a child. I mean, Jeff, who passed.

I'm so sorry to hear. It's in this direction. That was very good. Did you hear? Oh, this is the best. So Neurilink, which is Elon Musk's company where he's implanting chips in people's brains in a way of like basically hot wiring the brain. He said the first thing that will allow will be something like telepathy. So he literally wrote a tweet, which was something to the effect of imagine if Stephen Hawking had this implant.

He would no longer have to use any sort of machine. to vocalize what he was feeling or thinking, he could immediately just think it, and then a machine would decipher it and dictate exactly what he was thinking, to which I thought the first thing he would use it for would be to say, hit up Jeffie, let's scramble the jets. How frightening would that be, something that transcribes your thoughts? Oh, my God.

Terrifying. That is terrifying. I got a text earlier from Claudia saying, Hey, you're writing in the group notes app. I don't know if you know that, but you're writing in this family note and think it wasn't me. It was my brother-in-law who was writing in it. But it made me think, you know, notes are very personal. And the idea that one could be writing personal things in a group notes app is terrifying.

That is extremely scary. And that's not even close to your thoughts being transcribed. Holy smokes. That's absolutely terrifying. And yeah, that I could just. imagine myself doing that and getting in a lot of trouble with a lot of family members. My what are you nuts is, I think it's, it can't only be a New York thing. It has to just be somewhere where it gets really, really cold and you have these big buildings. But when it gets really cold

in New York and you're in these old buildings, Josh, you know this well. The radiator starts pumping that heat and he can't turn it off. And that is just a what are you nuts. I'm sitting in here. I'm, I'm scorching hot. I'm scorching hot. I'm scorching hot. There's nothing to shut. He can't shut anything. And this is this dry type of heat that either you know it or you don't. It's a sinus infection in 30 minutes. It goes straight up. My lips are chapped. My elbows, I have psoriasis.

I have a sinus infection all in an hour's time. All in an hour's time. What are you nuts? Figure this out. Figure out how to heat a building without burning off my eyebrows. Absolutely. What do you nuts? That's what happens when you live in a place with pre-war buildings of a city that's literally falling apart.

Shout out New York. Love it. I okay so my Woody and Nuts is I love 7-Eleven big 7-Eleven guy love it you love it then I love it I love it and I was just in DFW they have it in the airport it's just fabulous and as I've fabulous as I've gotten older I love the brand 7-Eleven I like I eat their egg salad sandwiches sometimes I'll go as far as the tuna I'll pop you know what I'll buy a zen I'll pop a zen in my mouth after said sandwich to really cool out the old nerves get a nice little nickette hit. And by the way, the congressman Chuck Schumer is going after Zinn. Chuck Schumer is going

after Zin, which is literally a nicotine pouch. So many other, please, let us enjoy our nicotine in peace, no? Yeah, it's absolutely sick. And it's silly. And it's just like if the Gen Z years, here's the thing. And this is not about Chuck Schumer. This is just in general. If people seem to be profiting off of something other than cigarettes, people get very upset. I don't know why jewels are banned. I don't know why the flavor jewels are banned. I do. Why?

Look, this at least was my sort of observation, was that jewels, first of all, you never use them, did you? No, I wasn't a jeweler. It was, I wasn't a jeweler. It was like the crack of nicotine inhalants. I mean, the level of nicotine you were getting, and what I couldn't believe, was how many of my, my wife's young cousins, like, not her cousins, but her cousins' friends who, like, literally, like, ninth graders, eighth graders, 10th graders, sucking down these jewels.

And, like, there was no air of, like, that it was even remotely bad for you. And I would here and there use a jewel whenever a friend would have, you know, one on them. And my lungs hurt the next day. So I think it was actually a little more bad. No, they're terrible for you, but you're not here to tell me that Zinn is good for you. It's not good for you. It doesn't mean that it should be illegal. Like it's an 18 plus product.

It's a product that we should educate around the same way that we educate around cigarettes, the same way that you can get cancer from cigarettes. These are the same way that alcohol, like too much alcohol. Like you know what I mean? Like these are products. I don't know. It's to me it's just. But I know what you mean.

But in the grand hierarchy, there's like at the top actual cigarettes and then there's vaping under it, which I still think is negative and detrimental. I actually think things like like, like I think a zan. is in the Nicorette category, which is like literally inert. Like other than like the mild stimulant effect, I actually don't think there's anything negative about it. But what about the fact that it burns through your lip?

Like I've had a Zinn. I thought that there was a hole in my lip. That I tried it once. Maybe I'm just a wuss. Maybe I'm just a wuss. But I thought I literally looked. I'm like, oh, that's my tooth. No, that's a cute part.

It's like when I started chewing nicorette in my early 20s because I wanted to develop. up a smoking habit, so I started easy. And I was like, I remember the first time I'm chewing on it, and I started getting the hiccups. And then I got sick to my stomach. And my buddy said, that's part of the ride. He's like, once you get past that, you're going to be flying. And I was like, you're right.

That's fun. That's part of the ride. I also just love Zinners. That's the thing. Chuck Schumer, what are you nuts? leave the Zinners alone. We can agree to just agree on the jewel. We agree on the Zinn.

Totally. Look, we all know it whether you're doing an Osama Zin Laden or an Oprah Zinfree, right? Just do it. The culture. Do it for the culture. Yes, do it for the culture. Okay. So my Woody and Nuts is I go to a 7-Eleven near my son's school every day.

Sometimes I get a nice 24-ounce coffee. Sometimes I get a sandwich. And then I have sin. To cut through. He said before I forgot, I have a tuna and I have a zin to cut through the tuna. Yeah. Sometimes I have a 24 ounce coffee and a zin and I've been sober 16 years. And the other day, I went to my local 7-Eleven and I saw a beautiful sign, very proudly

hung in the front, a banner, a printed banner that said, 7-Eleven under new management. What are you nuts? you're 7-11. This doesn't impact me in any way. Just be glad that there's ownership at all. You don't need to like, oh, are you going to be improvising on the 7-Eleven brand? Is this 7-Eleven going to be selling, I don't know, Chala? Like, you're 7-Eleven.

You got smokes, you got snacks, you got drinks, you got tequitos up front. What are you nuts? I don't need to know it's under new management. Oh, and I thought this was funny because the guy behind the counter, I think, knew who. who I was or knew me from social media. And as I walked up, he goes, hey, how are you? I said, good. He goes, how's your social life?

And I was like, why? I was like, you're trying to hook up? It's funny. Social life. Under a new management. It's like when you walk into a Starbucks and they show the employee of the month, who gives you a rat's ass?

I don't care. Give me my coffee. That barista master, the brewmaster. Do you know, that in the Starbucks hierarchy, if you have a black apron, you are considered a broommaster?

Really? Yeah. Jews. I would say that if you did want to radicalize someone against the human race, have them work at a Starbucks or any kind of front-facing, just non-stop job like that,

because you must see the worst dregs. I was thinking about this the other day. My wife used to work for this company that did like a print, they did an apparel line. And some of the apparel had, printed, you know, phrasing on it. So they did a party one night and a lot of influencer types, you know, the lowest of the lowest, the real dregs of the world.

And L.A. influencer model is just like, oh, what are you nuts? And I remember they were doing, they were pressing the sweatshirts at the party, right? So you could literally go in, it was like the giveaway as part of the party that you'd show up and you'd get there and you'd be like, I love a sweater that says, I love good guys. And they'd be like, great, when you leave, it'll be ready for you. But of course, like, it takes a minute. You have to heat up the massive press. And a lot of people came quickly.

And then a lot of people are leaving quickly. So I jump behind the counter, humble Harry over here. I don't mind. Give a little helping hand. And so I'm like, helping because there's not enough people to get these sweatshirts done. And let me tell you, I have never quite experienced the level of vitriol. and just like, what do you mean it's not ready? Like, darling, I know you have 8,000 fucking followers on Vine

and you think you're like, you know, the most famous person alive. But like, yeah, it's going to take a minute. I could not believe how quickly rude people got. And I'm like, why are you talking to me? I'm famous Josh Beck over here. I can only imagine what a civilian would get. Crazy, right? Crazy, crazy.

Honestly, there are just some things that should be automated. Starbucks should be automated. You should put in, I want a black coffee, one splendor, a little bit of milk. And it should be robots. It should be robots. Most things shouldn't be robots. I'm a fan of jobs. But making my cup of coffee seems like something very easy for a robot to do.

Well, what an episode this has been. We deeply love you all. Thank you for listening. Rate, review, subscribe. that five-star rating in that review really helps. It really, really helps. Oh, this episode might come out a few days prior to Ben and I are doing our first speaking engagement together for a little something called the B-B-Y-O in Orlando, Florida on the 17th.

So if you're young, Jewish, I don't think you have to be Jewish, but there's going to be a lot of Jews. So if you're easily discomforted by Jews, then I wouldn't recommend coming. But if you're young and Jewish, then you should come Jewish teens, come. see us speak it's going to be a really really great time Orlando Florida maybe we'll see it Disney world after maybe we won't and yeah five stars send it to a friend Apple Spotify all the places Josh's YouTube because if you don't see us interacting what's the point you'll miss the fact I'm wearing a t-shirt that says panic at the Costco Josh's wearing a king's t-shirt our beautiful merch merch merch merch

merch merch Marshall looks fantastic we saw him you got to watch us on YouTube we love you Marshall has a beautiful ginger mullet and he's just our gorgeous gazelle and we love him for it. Love you guys. Love them. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.