Good Guys - Nick Swardson is Adam Sandler's Best Friend and CRIES Over Football?

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

Mazel Morons! It’s Labor Day and the Guys are celebrating with none other than the actor, stand-up comedian, producer, and butterfly aficionado himself, Nick Swardson! Today, we’re talking SPORTS- From Nick and Josh rehashing their glory days in the Celebrity NBA League, to that time Adam Sandler called Nick in the hospital to make fun of the Minnesota Twins. Believe it or not, there’s PLENTY of crying in Football. Nick dishes on his year and a half living in Key West by accident, and Ben shares why Claudia kicked him out of the house a few times during the pandemic. Did you know you could spend $1200 in the Butterfly Museum Gift Shop? What, are you nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Sponsors: Get who gets you, on eharmony. Sign up today. Go to DrinkLMNT.com/GoodGuys to receive a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order when you purchase through our URL. OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/GOODGUYS Support your gut this summer with Seed's DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/GOODGUYS and use code 25GOODGUYS to get 25% off your first month. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Safer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Mazel morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with the man that I've known longer than my own father because I never met him.

It's Ben Saver. Thank you, Josh. And I have the esteemed honor of introducing an incredible actor, stand-of-comedian, screenwriter, producer, has an incredible new special called Make Joke from Face. It's hilarious crushing on YouTube. I watched it. I loved it. It's Nick Swartzson.

Nick, thank you so much for coming on the Good Guys podcast. Thank you so much. First question, are you Jewish? If the answers no, we're going to kindly ask you to leave. I am not. Damn it. But Sandler sometimes calls me Nick Schwartzman. That's good.

Yeah, so that's why I changed my name to Nick Stamos. Perfect. So I don't know if you know that, Josh. I didn't want to reveal that. John, my new name is Stamos. Nick Stamos. So let's dance. Yeah, I can see that.

You can totally see it. I've got a full house right here of pubic hair. It's a Greek forest down there. Yep. It's a Greek sycamore. Yeah, there goes my hero. What would be your dream if you were going to do a biopic? Seriously, what would be like, who would you want to play?

Darth Gaydar. Okay. Yep. It's a weird character. Like Ben, for Ben, it would be to play Eina Garten, because he would. looks just like her. Yeah, that's true. I would love to.

Or meatloaf. It's between the two of them. The food? Yeah. Meatloaf. That's what you look like. Yeah. Yeah, the food. Fucking weirdo.

I would say my biopic would be David Spade, but I would have to get AIDS. And that you, that would be committing. You'd get the Oscar immediate. That level of commitment. I mean, that level of commitment. Yeah. would be unprecedented. That's Daniel DeLewis.

I remember when David Spade was doing his last special and he called me up and he goes, what title should I have? And I go, full-blown spades. And he was like, tempting. Probably not going to do that, but tempting. And I'm not people with AIDS. I'm sorry. I'm not making fun of AIDS.

See, I thought I was pushing it by just wanting to be in the Jay Leno biopic. Oh, yeah. Welcome to the show. You know? Hey, how you doing, Dad? Hey, I got a squirt here. Yeah, welcome to the night show. I like cars.

Hey, grow your chin out. Hey, grow your chin plants? We'll get some chimp plants. This is the episode where my mom listened to it and goes, you know, you and your friends, your sense of humor, it's different than mine. Oh, yeah, 100%. It's different. I remember, again, going back to David Spade, who I love very much,

It's one of my favorite people. His mom called, his mom, Judy, and it's very sweet, called David, and she goes, I had to unfollow Nick on Twitter. She goes, he just, I don't know what he's doing anymore. He's just saying insanity. So Judy and followed me. Judy, how do we get her back? I don't know. It's not going to work because NFL's coming up and it's going to get hotter.

You are one of the biggest sports fans I know. I'm psychotic. Like, it's a problem. Say more. It's not even enjoyable. Say more. The Minnesota Vikings at your team. All Minnesota.

Like, I lose my mind. Timberwolves. Like, I can't, T-pups. Twins. That's what we call them. T-pups. Twins. The wild?

Yeah, the wild. But I was a big North Stars fan. So, like, I was die-hard, North Stars fan. Speaking of sports, and we've touched on this before, Josh and I played basketball together. We were, I'm just going to run it back. We were in a basketball league, the NBA Celebrity League, and Josh and I were horrific.

Terrible. Horrific. The only other person that was kind of worse than us was Brody Jenner. We were just not good. Hi, Brody. And then hi, brodie, we love you. It's been a while. But like.

Nice guy. No, Brody's amazing. I love Brody like a brother. I have tattoos with Brody. But I remember we played with, oh my God, who's on those teams? And they were so much. We were horrible. I don't think I scored a point.

I've had a resentment against Donald Faison for over a decade. Donald Faison for sure. Of how serious he took it. He hired an outside coach. And then who's the other one. Brian McKnight. And Bill Bellamy? Bill Bellamy.

Brian McKnight was amazing. Respect to Brian McKnight. He had a good three-pointer, which is weird as he's tall. I just remember seeing you on this trip. And you know when you're just out in the world and you're like, I need to find an anchor. Like, I need to find a safe place.

And I'm like, I'm never going to be buds with Bill Bellamy. No disrespect. I just don't think he can see my sparkle. But I was like, Nick can see my sparkle. I was 100% on board. Josh was my lifeline. I was like, okay, I'm not scoring at all. I know Josh is going to be in the negative.

Josh is not scoring shit. I was so bad. Oh, my God. It was bad, dude. And then also they would give us the gear, which was so cool, the official license gear, but they didn't size it. So I looked like I was wearing the dad I never met his clothes. Like, like the shirt. like Tom Hanks from Big.

The shorts are to my like ankles. Yeah, it was amazing. Well, Ben's a great basketball player. He plays in a Jewish basketball league. So, you know, a lot of competition. Whoa. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool.

It's not. It's not. Let's not dress it up. It's not. But Josh, I want to jump back to the oversized clothes. Did they just have old measurements or they just screwed you? Just because they're built for. They hated Josh.

It's built for athletic. people. Like, they didn't build them for little unique beta actors. They built them for stallion men. Yeah, they didn't make it for Jewish midgets. What year was this? Oh, God. What would it be, Josh? 08. 09? Yeah, probably around that time.

Jeez. And we would play literally for like 10,000 people. That's not a joke. We would play in like NBA arenas. It was like so ridiculous. This is when I knew I was bad was that I finally like actually because for an actor like I'm fairly tall so I was like let me just like get around these squeaks

so I get a rebound right like and I'm like finally I am like doing something proactive for this game and I get fouled they sub me out to shoot my free throws I was like I'm not like to shoot my free throws This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by E-Harmony. We've partnered with E-Harmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with.

And folks, you know, I'm incredibly lucky. I found somebody at the ripe age of 20 years old that I've been able to be myself with for my entire life. That's right. That's my beautiful wife, Claudia. I also co-hosts the podcast with a dear friend of mine, Josh, that I can be myself with too. You know, I never have to walk on eggshells around either of them. I can always be myself. They appreciate me for who I am.

I appreciate them for who they are. And we're not all as lucky as me. Frankly, I'm sorry. It is what it is. I'm incredibly, incredibly lucky. And folks, I know that dating isn't easy. And that's why we've partnered with e-harmonie. Because dating is different on e-harmony.

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I'd go on eHarmony because E-Harmony, they're great, they're fantastic. Get Who Gets you on E-Harmony. Sign up today. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Seed, whether you're off to the pool, oh yeah, hiking or traveling this summer, you're bringing your microbiome with you to. The 38 trillion bacteria that live in and on you, especially your gut, are essential to whole-body nutrition. Seeds, DS-01, daily symbiotic, benefits your. your gut, skin, and heart health in just two capsules a day.

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I cover it all with raw, candid conversations with the industry's top experts and inspirational guests. Make sure to subscribe to the show so you never miss an episode. I remember one of my Lee's favorite moments. So we did, were you with the Phoenix game? Yes, we're in Phoenix. So the night before I was like, I'm going to focus. I'm not going to drink. I'm going to nail this game. So I go to the bar. We had like the, you know, the pre-party, like the night before. And Cedric Sabalos is hanging out, who played for the sons. And he was the announcer. And I go, hey. And he goes, hey, what's up? Nick? Are you drinking? And I'm like, no, I got to play tomorrow. And he goes, dude, we drink before games. That's how we do it. And I go, really.

Really? And he's like, yeah, you want to do a shot? I'm like, yeah, I guess. I mean, yeah, you're an NBA player. Like, yeah, okay. So we did tequila shots. The next day, me, again, Brody Jenner, I was so hungover. I vomited all over the fucking place. And I couldn't even play in the game.

Me and Brody were like green, full bonk. And we couldn't even play. And they were like, Nick, like we're tired. Sub in. I'm like, oh! I was like, I'm like, I'm like, deathbed. And me and Brody were, we didn't play,

I think we played like a minute. And the rest of the team was so mad. They're like, and then I see Sartrex Sabalas and I go, Hey man, I just barfed in the locker room. And he goes, yeah. He goes, we don't drink before games.

I was lying. I'm like, you motherfucker. I went hard in the paint and now I can't go hard in the paint. And now I'm hard in the taint. What? Yep. Why?

It went crazy. Have you ever thought about, your obsession with sports like say more about that where does that come from is that like since you were a kid scapeism what is it i don't know i guess it would be escapism it's just like you just channel your energy of like like i have anger issues from my dad thanks a lot dad dick anyway yeah i just like i just vent so i like channel myself through sports but also like in the Midwest, and people can attest of this in the Midwest, it's just, it's all you have growing up. Right.

It's like, and everybody knows like Vikings, bears, lions, Packers. It's just we are, you know, and like every other team too, but it's just like game on. Like I'm going to, I don't know what's going to happen. But like I can't watch games in public anymore because I get that angry. What does that look like when you're really angry at a game? Oh, I'll, like, I'll lose my mind. Like break stuff? I've broken many things.

Not in public, but like at home. But like if I'm in public, I remember this guy, some random dude at a bar, Barney's Beanery, which I love very much in West Hollywood, great sports bar. And this guy, I remember Blair Walsh, love you, Blair. I won't make fun of you anymore.

Blair had to do a 27-yard kick to win the game at home in Minnesota to go to the playoffs. So this guy comes. up to me some rando and he goes, hey man, why are you stressing out? I'm in all my Vikings gear. And I go, he's got to make that kick, man. And he goes, he will. It's a gimmie. He's going to make that. Yeah, you know, you fucking know. That's the worst thing you can say. And I go, and I go, dude, if you say that again, I'm going to fucking murder you. And then Blair Walsh missed the kick. And I went outside of the bar and started crying.

Physically crying. I'm an adult. We reenact it. Okay. I'll reenact it. Yeah. I'm not afraid. I'm one of the best actors ever.

Okay. All right. You be the guy and say he's going to make this for sure 100%. He's going to make this kick for sure 100%. What the fuck, man? Okay. Yeah. And that's where I get nominated.

Wow. For another Razzie. My 10th Razzie. You were in the pocket. Oh, God. Good, I'm not afraid. Your sense memory skills are incredible. Your recall.

It's insane. Wow. No, I'm up for the memory awards. What? Yeah, that's true. Do you think sports is attractive to you because you are such a creative being that it's, because there's justice to it, right? There's nothing like unclear.

You win or you lose. It's not like, oh, they didn't give you the part because they're going in a different direction. Like the best wins. Well, yeah, it's just facts. That's why I like sports. I don't like do politics. I don't do any of that. I like sports because it's like you win or you lose.

And then you can blame refs. You can blame everybody. I remember this is one of my favorite moments. And it's a weird moment to be a favorite, but I'm alive. And I was in the hospital and I had almost died. You got to talk about that. But keep going. I mean, I don't want to.

Let's bring it up. Let's bring it up. Okay. So I almost died. I'm in the hospital. And I remember the twins were. playing the Yankees in the playoffs. And the Yankees own us.

And Sandler is a die-hard Yankee fan. Die-hard. I know. I say you. So I'm on my deathbed in the hospital, watching the twins play the Yankees. Sandler calls me. And they goes, hey, I swear to what's that man?

Hey, twins are eating shit. And I go, yeah, I know. And he goes, yeah, you're going to lose. You're going to get swept. And I go, yeah, I know. I'm in the hospital. I'm on my deathbed watching my favorite team eat hot fucking diarrhea. And one of my best friends calls me to reinforce that, that my team is losing.

Yeah. So yeah. I'm like, yeah, okay, good talk. I'll see you in heaven. What the fuck, man. Did you know you were in the hospital? Yeah, he fucking knew. What do you send?

What's Sandler sending you to the hospital? Come on. He sent me a Yamaka. And then I converted. Not an edible arrangement? Maybe. I said, Nikki. A pineapple cup out?

No, he was very sweet. He sent me a new heart. So I live another day. He could, he's powerful enough. If you needed one, he'd get you number one on the list for sure. He could swing that. He could 100%. Yeah.

He could save my life in two seconds. In a little hospital called Cedar Sinai. Yeah, that's a true story. like making fun of me on my hospital bed as the Yankees. And of course, Yankees! Hey, I do. Yankee fans. God, broken record.

Have you ever gotten into a fish fight with another fan? I have not. I'm very docile. Even though, like, I'm passionate. I'm very docile. So I'm like, I'm not going to start a fight. And it goes back to, like, Midwest people where it's like, I've been to probably 20 Vikings Packers games.

And I hate the Packers. I hate them. but like I go to a game and it's like if we win or lose we go out and get drunk either way and Midwest people know that bears also lines it's just like we just go out like I've been to Eagles games it's the exact opposite I would be terrified to wear another team's jersey in Eagle Stadium oh my god one of my favorite moments I went to an Eagles Rams game and this was St. Louis Rams at the time and that's not a rivalry and it wasn't a playoff game.

It was just an innocuous regular season game. And I remember this Eagles fan. I'll never forget this. And I've been to a million football games. This guy probably 40 years old looked 70 because he's Philadelphia. So he smoking a cigarette in the stadium, hat sideways. And there's a Rams fan, this really nice guy, really sweet guy. But this Eagles fan goes to the Rams.

fan and he goes this fucking guy look at this fucking guy hey we're gonna eat ram for breakfast for lunch and for fucking dinner you fucking asshole and this Rams fan had a Rams jersey

this poor guy was just so horrified he was just like okay I just wanted to watch the game and he's like yeah this fucking guy yeah I was like oh my god What is going on here?

What do you matter? It's a regular season game. You live in the suburbs in Philadelphia. You need an outlet. It's Philly. It's Philly. It's Philly fans are terrible. I went to Nick Sixers game six.

One of the best Nick games I've been to in the last 10 years, which isn't saying much because the Knicks stink. But these Philly fans, they're terrible. They're terrible. All sports. All people. They're not afraid. By the way, I love Philadelphia, but the movie. Not me.

So good. Oh, good. Tom Hanks, Denzel. Of the movie. Yeah. The scene with the opera. I mean, game on. Solid. But no, Philly's great, but it's like, good God, they're just loose cannons.

Will you talk with Ben? Ben is a food genius, celebrity chef, crushes it. Now, I know you've, like, you know, you've used off some of the devil's devices, the sauce, the sigs, but still, you love to eat, right? You love eating? Yeah. Yeah. What are the devil's devices?

Well, you're like a fucking train track hobo God. The fuck. I don't do drugs. I don't smoke weed. I know, but you take edible. But you talked about loving to drink in the past so much so that it's amazing.

It ruined your celebrity basketball game. I'm just saying maybe now you're more into food. Look, you look great. You look healthier than ever. Let's be honest. I'm phenomenal. You almost died from drinking. Well, yeah, that was a long time ago.

Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. Yeah, that wasn't last night. So I'm saying. It wasn't like I woke up like, me, Josh back. Josh's podcast, I can't go yet. Josh is on a vacation.

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your first six months when you go to openphone.com slash good guys. That's O-P-E-H-O-N-P-H-O-N-E. Dot com slash good guys for 20% off six months. That's openphone.com slash good guys. And if you have existing numbers with another service, open phone will port them over at no extra charge. So talk about, well, because you're working all over the world, you have access to great food.

Like, where is it at? What are you into right now? What are you looking forward to? What's in your food radar? I'm excited about chefs. I'm just excited about somebody that can intrigue me about a new taste, if that makes sense. Like, I love a good, let's just say escargo, maybe a steak tartar, maybe a chicken liver moose, maybe duck liver.

Yeah, I don't know. Good sushi, love sushi. I like good fish on rice, a good niggiri where it's just pure. and then maybe a sauce from the chef. I always do omacase. I always defer to a chef. If I go to a new restaurant, I'm like, what do you got? Like, what's going to intrigue my palate?

Yeah. And then I end up at Cracker Barrel. What's your Cracker Barrel order? Fried chicken. I'm a chicken fried steak, man, and the turkey noodle soup. That's a good one. That's a good one. Then I'll just meander around the country store.

Maybe get some of the things, trinkets. Oh, I'll meand. Yeah, you will. The underrated Cracker Barrel Country Store. I buy products there. It's very fun. Great to bring back to my son. He's just like, what is this?

I'm like, only get it at Cracker Barrow. You're like, I don't know, some gypsy mask. Yeah. That's made from a cracker. Yeah, we don't know. Alabamian shaman made this. Yeah, good God. Some butter from the eagle.

We don't know what's going on there. But it's amazing. I'll tell you a side story. So during COVID, I lived in Key West. Why? Going full earnest Hemingway? Yeah, I went full Hemingway. I tried to take one of his cats.

And they were like, I go, can I have this? And they were like, no. I tried to reach through the fence. At his house. Yeah, at his famous house. Try to take the cat. And I'm like, can I have this? And they were like, no, you can't have that.

They're like, what are you going to do with it if you have it? And I'm like, I don't know. I was drunk. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know. It's a valid question. Sure. Yeah, I don't know what. I'm just going to carry around.

a cat with six toes, whatever they have. A souvenir. Yeah. So anyway, long story short, one of my favorite moments of Key West, I was there a year and a half. I went for 10 days, a year and a half. It was a long, it was a long excursion. But anyway, I went to the Butterfly Museum, which I highly recommend. If you go to Key West, Florida, I recommend Key West, but the Butterfly Museum, it's literally

what it is. It's butterflies. And they have a gift shop. And I spent $1,200 at the gift shop. at the Butterfly Museum. What you get? I bought butterfly everything. Butterfly hats, butterfly tuxitos, pajamas.

I bought everything. And then just weirdly gave it all away. So I would go back to my hotel and I would go bar hopping. And they'd be like, hey, are those butterfly pants? I'm like, yeah, you want them? And I would just take them off and give them to people. Monarch butterflies, the most glorious butterfly. I mean, we all know that.

Yeah, Monarch. record that is so true monarch wow you seem to have had an elite covid yeah it was a solid covid i'm not gonna lie i don't even think i got covid i don't even know if i did yeah i was just i was just game on well how was your covid ben we've never talked about this yeah ben how was your it was excellent it was great yeah also actually no i got coven three times i was going to say i didn't get covid i got it three times i think i was testing too much every time i got it COVID, my wife would ask me to sleep in a hotel. So that was fun. I'd spend 10 days, 14 days in a hotel alone.

Really? But besides that? Yeah. Yeah. What hotel? You live in New York City. That's going to get pricey. No, it didn't because we picked just terrible hotels. So this was, it was no good. The dream, I highly do not recommend the dream midtown. I know the dream. They have something called a bronze queen, Nick. Highly recommend against it. No good. Very small. The bronze queen? That sounds like a. porno. Yes, that's the name of the room. Otherwise, yeah, you know, if you don't test,

you don't get COVID. I was testing and I got COVID. So it was fine. I feel like that's, I feel like that's the way to go. Just don't get tested. Just wing it. Just see how it plays out. Just hope for the best. My COVID was interesting because I got a job right before COVID started. And then the job began at the end of August 2020. So I went up to Vancouver, Canada, which had lower Love Vancouver. It was kind of open. Like they had indoor dining and we were getting tested three times a week on set. And so it was kind of wonderful. And we also had the country to ourselves because there was no like the borders were closed unless you were there working doing important things like the TV version of Turner and Hooch. And shout out. They were like we need the we need

the low red TV version of Tom Hanks. Call Peck. But it was great. And I spent eight months. there. Were you hooch? I was. Let me tell you. A fun fact about the French Mastiff or the dog Du Bardot. It is not a trainable breed. So we had a dog show without a trainable dog. Are they ornery? No, they don't want to do anything ever. I mean, ornery is kind of like disagreeable, right? I mean, yeah. I mean, it's a word, ornery. So yes. Don't use it and not know what it means. I know what it means. You don't know what it means. You don't know words, Josh. You don't hear that usually with a dog, ornery dog.

Bad tempered and combative. Words mean things. What is it, Marshall? Bad tempered and combative. Oh, disagreeable. Yeah, ornery. I went to homeschool. I know things.

The last book you read was what, where's Waldo? That's the last book you read. It's one of my faves. Yeah. So good. It's a book and that's a movie I want to make. Did they make a Waldo? Let's do it.

No. They don't need it. No, we do. I think the world needs it. You think so. Where is Waldo? movie and then at the last final scene you come in as Waldo but the whole movie is just extras i'm just honored that you think i'm thin enough to play waldo at this point god bless you for that one

god bless yeah god bless us all everyone i bless yeah i just thought of that i just remember the third day on set was the first day that we started using the dog in turner and hooch and there's a scene because it's a cop show where i am chasing a bad guy down this alleyway and the dog's supposed to be you know chasing me going like, there's a booby trap, there's a booby trap, but embarks. And I remember we do the first take and I've got like, it's intense and I have my firearm and I'm looking for this bad guy. And the dog trainer runs out and goes, cut, cut, cut, cut, and we're like, what's going on? And they're like, oh, no, the dog can't be around this kind of like intense energy. And it's day one. And we all look at each other and go,

cop show. You're like, this is going to be a long shoot. What do you think is, especially because your crew of the people you work with are some of the greatest comedy minds that exist and you're right there with them so you walk on a set like what would you say like is your special power like what do you feel uniquely equipped to be like like are you a guy who can come up with 10 alts or is it like 100% yeah so you know like all those guys sandler spade schniter all those people are very very close friends and i just i can adapt to anybody's voice so like working with Adam. Like I can read what Adam, like a joke he can pull off. I've written, you know, tons of jokes for him for talk shows, for Letterman, for all that stuff, because I know exactly

what he can pull up and Spade and those guys. So it's like, I guess that would be my thing is I can adapt to anybody. And what does it look like? I remember hearing, I think Bobby Lee told a story of he was doing a small part in a movie for Sandler. And yes, I was, yeah. You know this story? And it was the wrong missy. Yeah. And Sandler happened to be on set that day. And he kind of gave Bobby the note of like smaller. Like maybe just like keep it less or something and something to that effect.

Right. Which is interesting. I can imagine the trap or like the desire to want to be funny amongst these giants of comedy. But I don't know. What's Sandler's approach? Like what's his taste with that stuff? Adam's brilliant in many levels. And I'm not just saying next to he's my friend.

but like he, I'm always in awe of Adam. Oh, so? He, like, he gave me the script for the Zohan. And I was like, I read it and I go,

what, what is this? Like, what is going on here? And Adam's like, just trust me. And I'm like, okay.

And he's like, yeah, it's like a Jewish Rambo kind of movie. And I go, okay. I'm like, yeah.

And I always just know just to trust him. Like, when we do movies, his brain, it's just, another level and I think like through osmosis I'm lucky enough to you know be a part of his world and his mind but like we'll do a movie and I'm like who's when we did ridiculous six with

it was a western for Netflix and I go who's playing mark twain and he goes vanilla ice and I'm like what what do you mean he's like yeah vanilla ice it'd be hilarious and he was my friend rob van winkle and he was amazing but it's just like Adam just like somehow he does it all the time He sees it. He's like, yeah, he's just like, I'm like, who's playing the police officer and grownups too? Shaquille O'Neal. I'm like, no, guy. And is that like a sight gag?

Like, is that? No, they just, they all work. And what, when you kind of have like a, not always, no matter who you are getting a movie made is hard. But it's super hard. When he kind of has with someone like Netflix, like Carblanche to make what he wants to make, what's his process in which to make sure that it's like bulletproof or to the best of your guy's ability? Like, does the script go through many, many changes? Are there table reads?

Is there like... No, that's the thing that's great about Netflix is that they just trust him. But what is he, what's his process to make sure it's as good as it can be? That's what I'm asking. I don't know. He just... Do you do a bunch of punchups before? Like...

We write up until the time that we failed. film. So like when we're on set, like I help Adam produce a lot of movies and we make sure like, I mean, I show up on my trailer and I get my sides. Sides are like the little script of like what you're shooting that day. And I go over it and we make changes up until we film and then we improvise. I mean, again, like Bucky Larson, we did, I'm trying to think me and Adam side by side did like 14 drafts. Wow. Like he is such a savant. where he just knows what he wants, and he just knows when it's not there yet.

And it's, you know, it's a lot of pressure, because I'm like, oh, my God, just want to make sure it's great. And, you know, I hope, you know, he likes it. And is there a desire for like... A desire? A desire. Like the ones, and then I'll stop all the inside baseball, but like...

In a world. They're all so good. And then there are certainly ones that really, like, you know, are like the hallmark touchstone ones. And when I think of ones, just that I love, like, big dad. and all these different things. Like, there is such a heart to those movies.

Like, is that really of importance, too? Like, how do we actually make people care about these people? I think it's insanely important. That's one of my favorite things is, like, with comedy, you want to ground it in, like, some reality. And I've referenced this before, like, with Dumb and Dumber, the first one, there was an amazing scene. And I thought it was so key to the movie where Jim Carrey,

Jeff Daniels' character goes, hey I'm sick and tired of this and then Jim Carrey dead serious goes you know what I'm sick and tired of being a nobody and eking my way through life and it was such a pivotal scene because you made you cared about them as people it wasn't just stupid you know what I mean so like to have a heart like even weird reference but like bench warmers I remember like we grounded it with Rob Schneider's character and Rob was great, but it was like a moment where they realized he was a bully. And it was like a dramatic moment.

And I broke every take I left, every take. I couldn't. I can't take anything seriously. I laugh every time. Like, I can't. I always forget, I don't know if you've ever had this, Josh. Or I'll forget that I'm in a scene and then I'll just start laughing. And then I realized, oh, I'm in the scene.

Like you're watching it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like saying they're like, oh, it's exciting. Yeah, I'm watching a funny scene. Yeah, well, I don't know, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. There was a scene in Benchwormers where I broke, I think, 11 takes in a row. And it was a scene where Rob was being, his whole reveal, like I said, about being a bully and really dramatic.

And then the robot comes in and he goes, let's party. Every take, I broke, 11 takes. And then I broke when John Heater, Napoleon Dynamite was on the scene. and every time I broke, he broke. And then I would blame him. I don't know if you've ever done that. Yeah. Or I'll blame the other person if you break.

Where I'm like, oh, no, John broke. And John's like, no, no, I didn't. Nick, you broke, you know that. And I'm like, no. And then I would break. And he'd be like, stop. What the a half? Is John he'd really in full Napoleon all the time?

I always do an impression of it. A version of. I'm sure he loves that. No, he's such a sweetheart. No, he doesn't talk like that all the time. Close. Not far, but yeah. And now you're doing Happy Gilmore 2?

Mm-hmm. Wow. When do you start that? September. Shit. In the middle of my tour. A little bit of presh. Like, one of the most beloved movies ever.

I know. I can't talk about it. Me either. Except on my way here, I got a text from my agent. What do you mean? I know what the text was? What? Maybe you can give me some advice.

What was a text? Here's a text. Ready? It's all good for you. Not good for me. I get it from my, she won't mind. I get it from my wonderful agent's assistant, Katie. Hey Josh, what's your golf game like?

Shaney wants to know re-sequoed a happy Gilmore. He said, shit, I'm garbage. I could lie to you, but it'll come out eventually. But I'm an okay actor and could play eight hours a day for a month if I got it. But also, I get it. That's a perfect response. What should I do? I mean, what are you up for?

I don't know. I can't talk about the movie. Me either. But what should I do? Fire your agent. Should I be a better? Never. Love you, Shane, 20 years.

I'm kidding, we love you. We love you. Loyalty. That's what, loyalty. He heard of it? Have you met Vin Diesel? I guess what I'm asking you is, should I try to get good at golf? Because for all these things, I always go, really?

Does it fucking, can't we fake it? Can you get a body double with the same love handles I have for like a faraway shot? And you keep the comedy right here? I don't know. I don't know. I can't talk about the movie. I got yelled out already. This hurt.

Can I leave this much in then? You didn't say anything. No, I can't say anything about the movie. I don't want... I'll just pray for you. Thank you. I think that's what we do. Ben, really quick before we get to the end of the show,

Ben, I want to rehash this story, which I think you would be very adept at commenting about. Recently in the news, sharks off the coast of Rio de Janeiro have tested positive for cocaine. Scientists have discovered that sharks off the coast of Rio are possibly addicted to coke. The contamination is attributed to the continuous release of the drug from inadequate sewage treatment facilities

and clandestine refining operations. They found cocaine in the muscle and liver tissue of 13 Brazilian sharp-nosed sharks. What? I mean, they better have a sharp nose of your... They already... Yeah, exactly. Right?

I mean, they already made Sharknado. I mean, isn't that essentially what that would be? So is now Shark Nato a documentary? Is that what we're going with right now? Great. I mean, imagine a shark is horrifying anyway. A shark on cocaine and then the shark somehow has a gun. Just imagine that nightmare.

Bad. Oh, my God. Bad. But imagine, let me just flip it. Imagine the dolphin on cocaine. How fun would that be? Yeah. Just giggling and the snouts in your butt.

But can you imagine like a shark? shark all cooked up we were talking about this and like you're a seal being like with that shark just shut the fuck up yeah that would be insane yeah what's up yeah and then also like then the shark runs out of cocaine and then wants to suck your dick to get more and then you have no genitals anymore they are gone that is a toothy bj right there clip it good lord listen to the good guys Nick, for our final segment, we do something called Woody and Nuts, which is basically our gripes with people, places, and things, whatever's sticking in your crock currently, big or small,

anything about life or whatever that's just like makes you say, what are you nuts? I'll give you time to think. I'll start. Ben will go. Okay. Take your time. My Woody and Nutts is recently, and shout out McDonald's,

we love you. They are sponsor of the Good Guys' Pot. I was recently going through the drive-thru with my child. He loves those happy meals. And the woman who was lovely. on the speaker system, the drive-thru speaker. After everything I ordered, I'd say I'd like the six-piece nugget happy meal, she'd go, ooh, good choice.

That's amazing. And I'd go, and he'll have the apple slices and the fries. She goes, great choice. And I'll go, and for me, I'll have a large Diet Coke, and she'd be like, oh, nice. So my answer is, anyone who works drive-thew who's not that cool? What are you nuts? This made me, I mean, I'm not sure they allow tipping to McDonald's, but I would have. And I wish they did because this woman really knocked it out of the park from me and my son.

She sounds like an angel we don't deserve. I don't think so. So what's your go-to? For me, sausage egg McMuffin at McDonald's. Are you on breakfast? Yep. It's my favorite thing ever. So if I'm being healthy, I'll just get four quarter-pounder patties by themselves.

You heard right. I'm nuts. I don't think I heard that right. And a little bit of salt on a plate. They have plates at McDonald's. That's not true. there is. I guess you just lie to your friends.

But if I'm whiling out a 20-piece nugget and some napkins from my tears. Ben, what's your, what are you nuts? Paper bags in general, but really as it relates to grocery stores. So I understand the ban on plastic. No problem. We have oceans to worry about it. I totally get it. Whatever.

Grocery stores. You're shopping. You're getting heavy items. They're putting them in these bags. These bags get even slightly wet. I had this happen twice. week, Josh, walking out of the grocery store, holding two bags. Everything falls through the bottom.

What are you nuts? Whoever created it, he's nuts, she's nuts. The whole system around paper bags with grocery stores is completely nuts. It's a good one. Okay, that's a good one. Nick, what do you got? Music festival, porta-potties. Okay.

Yeah. When you're standing in line and you have diarrhea and other people have to pee and you're like, hey, can I cut the line? I've got the D-Re. and they're like, no, I got to pee. And I'm like, what are you, nuts? Oh, good. Yeah.

Just poetry. That's nuts. Shout out stagecoach. Thank you guys for listening to the Good Guys pod. Please plug all your dates, everything, your new speci. Nick Swartson.com. Make joke from face on YouTube right now. One of my best friends, I love him so much, Josh Peck.

Love you more than anything. Love you more than anything. He pray love. It's a book and a movie. Ben, we praise you. We'll do a foodie night. Yes, we must. He's a celebrity chef.

He could do amicasse. Game on. Game on. Game on, Wayne. Game on Garth. All right. Love you, Josh. Listen to the Good Guys Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get podcast.

You can check out the episode on my YouTube channel. Rate us five stars. Give us a review. Otherwise, what are you nuts? I'll see you next week. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.