Good Guys - OnlyFriends

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

Are you hungry?? Tune in for some dude food talk this week as the guys share their dream Italian dinner spread. You need vinegar with your olive oil and bread basket! Josh inquires if Ben would support a friend doing OnlyFans, they explore the scary world of penile fractures, and Ben shares his best networking advice! What are ya nuts?! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Get 50% off your first month + FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/goodguys Drinklmnt.com/goodguys for a free LMNT sample pack with any purchase Hero Bread is offering a special 10% off your first order with the code GOODGUYS at Hero.co Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Saffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Ben, what's going on? What's going on?

Well, I'm wearing a green t-shirt. I'm wearing green glasses. I'm sitting next to a green Sprit Society. Pickle by Claussen. Just gorgeous set of cans. Unlike these cans. These cans. We did an unbelievable collaboration that blew up the internet, it blew up press.

I don't know. It was pretty crazy. We made a pickled wine and it's somehow delicious. So that's what's new with me today. What's new with you? Did we sell out? We definitely will by the time this podcast comes out, but we're close. We're close on day two.

We're really close. huge. Yeah, it's, it's amazing and you can still, I don't think you'll be able to grab it by this time, but potentially you can get it next time by going to spurtsociety.com slash cloth and pickle and putting in your email address. And if we re-release it, you can be first in the line for the re-release. But yeah, we're close to selling out. We had an amazing event last night. You were missed. And, yeah, it's, it's been just a hell of a 24 hours. I'm just going to come out and say it. I fucked up getting sober. Here's the deal.

Here's the deal. You didn't fuck up getting sober. I'm very, very proud of you for the journey that you're on. For my kids. For my wife. And honestly, I'll make you, next time I come, I'll make you a mocktail version. We'll get cloths and pickles. I'll pour some pickle juice into a cup of seltzer, like soda water.

And it probably won't taste anything like it. but I will lie to you and pretend that it does. Listen, I'm not dying to drink pickle water if it's not getting me shithouse with all due respect to the new drop. Yeah. Yeah. That being said, I do love a pickle. It sounds fabulous.

My sister-in-law tried it the other day. And of course, I didn't screw up getting sober. But I will say that they have dropped the new drops in the last 15 years since I've been sober from Heineken with Lyme to Molly to K2. to bath salts. There's just so many things. You know, you see a new restaurant in your neighborhood

and you're like, I wonder what, you know, Asian Indian fusion tastes like. It's how I feel about Molly. Everyone's becoming very inventive. I would agree. And it is a shame.

But, you know, they've also become very inventive in other areas, you know, the new coffees that are out in market originally. There was just regular coffee. Now you have like a nice latte.

You have those la Coulones. You have all that. You know what I mean? Everything. things inventive. Yeah, there's nitro cold brew and that's it. No, you have, they don't have anything else. Good. You have cold. You have cold.

What's your coffee order? I'm black, I'm ice black. You wouldn't even like mess around with like an iced red eye. You like that? Shot of espresso. You would. You would. You would. An ice red eye is just black coffee. It's just a nice coffee with a shot of espresso in it, right?

Correct. It's just a cool name. I feel cool. Like I walk in. I feel like I'm James Bond. I'll take an ice red eye. and your number. I'll tell you what I love. In LA, we have these Asian donut places. And basically it's just like, it's kind of the equivalent to a West Coast bodega, right?

So it's a mom and pop type setup. It tends to be predominantly Asian. Delicious donuts, usually like some kind of sandwich offering. But they make, they brew this ice. It's usually Vietnamese ice coffee. And they brew this shit.

And then you put some like, Coffee mate, French vanilla, like real scumb bag, bottom of the barrel, like hospital vending machine creamer in that coffee. I love it. I love trash coffee. I love McDonald's coffee. I love Duncan. I love it all.

Trash. By that I mean, Duncan's outstanding because I know they're thinking about promoting on the good guys podcast. So I take that back in a big way. Trash coffee is delicious. It just needs to be strong. You know, like I can't deal with weak coffee.

There's just no point. Have you ever understood the person that drinks decaf? Who's drinking decaf and why? Are there really that many people that just like the taste of coffee? I do like the taste of coffee, but it's the same people that drink near beer or Odouls or 0%. I'm like, for what? Like, I'm drinking for effect. It's you like beer that much?

It's just so weird. But like, at least with the non-alcs, like there could be, there's an argument to be made. that you want to like have something to drink in a social setting maybe that said wouldn't you also like a do you like a shirley temple shirley temples are delicious or oh my god or a great ginger ale i love ginger ale contrary to popular belief i love sprit society but i'm not the biggest drinker outside of that like i'll i love sure like a glass of wine but honestly give me a strong ginger ale what's your favorite ginger ale brand i'm a can i'm a canada i'm a dry girlie Interesting.

But I'll, I'll chill with the Schweps. I like seagrams too. It's interesting that you said Canada Dry first. Have you ever had the cherry Canada Dry? That big... You give me... That big red bottle. You know what I'm talking about.

Brother, I like anything special edition, my boy. So yes, I love it. So good. It's so good. That like, it's the huge bottle. The cherry. It's so delicious. Oh, God.

My wife is like the queen of the classic. Like she likes things straight down the middle as they've been for 100 years. And I'm like, maybe we should try the orange twist Coke Zero. And she's like, jump off a bridge. She won't even try it? She will, but almost always, it's just not for her. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It's funny that I said that to you as if my wife likes to try anything. She won't even try it? Like, no, Claudia will not try it. She won't. But if it's a Diet Coke variant, I think she'd try it. She'd try it. Oh, my gosh, I love element. I love it.

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I find magnesium helps me with sleep so much. So if you know you need electrolytes, you want to get it from element, right? Because it's just tasty. It's an electrolyte drink mix with no sugar. It works in a keto diet, a low carb diet, paleo diet, all of it. But there's no sugar. There's no artificial ingredients, no gluten, no filler. No BS. I just love being able to like crack it open, throw it in my water in the morning,

makes it delicious and fun to drink, and I know I'm doing something good for me. And by the way, NBA, NFL, NHL players, high, high achievers, they're drinking element too. So right now, Element is offering my listeners a free sample pack with any purchase. That's eight single serving packets free with any element order. It's a great way to try all eight flavors or share element with a salty friend. Get yours. at drinkelement.com slash good guys.

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and they will give you your money back, no questions asked. You have nothing to lose. Wait, before we leave coffee and then I want to go to Claudia, do you love, I say it a lot, you know, I do these college gigs and a lot of times I'm in these like sort of random cities.

And so as a proud Marriott Bonvoy member, hopefully a future, future advertiser on the podcast, I know they inquired. God, I'm good at these odd reads. Almost as good as hero brand at hero.com slash good guys. You can get yourself tortillas, buns. No, no, no. But I love saying it like a Marriott,

a Fairfield, Marriott, Spring Hill, sweets and you come downstairs in the morning and they've got a gorgeous continental breakfast set up with all you can drink coffee cereals yogurts it's not high end but it's good enough for old jp you like that ben love you like that love love love love what's i love anything that's compliments give me anything i'll love anything yes but it is really really nice to be able to go downstairs and get a hot cup of coffee that's what i like a lot about mr c even though for whatever reason I feel like people don't stay there. Why don't people stay at Mr. C?

The Beverly Hills Hotel where you stay on Pico? Yeah. It's a little bit out of the Beverly Hills city limits, but it's nice. I'm just saying you go downstairs and get a hot cup of coffee. Nothing like a Fairfield Marriott, but still delicious. Still delicious. I love. I just, it feels a little bit like home and I get in my rental car and I think I'm a different guy.

I'm not, you know, Celebrity Ben Saffer's co-host, Beelis celebrity Josh Peck. I'm, you know, I'm Josh from Cleveland. And I live a, you know, I live just more of a normal life. That's how I feel when I get into like a Ford Explorer and I'm having Fairfield Marriott Coffee. And isn't that life arguably better? Not arguably.

It's better. You know, and we'll get into it. I'm getting my eyes done tomorrow. So this is a big, big episode. So say goodbye to these, you fucks you. You writing, you mean bastards, you all wrote comments about my eyebags. It gave me a thing. And now I'm getting them fixed.

This is your fault. I should have done a go-fund me to make you all pay for this. 10 Gs, my friends. 10 Gs are wearing a strike. And this is what I'm wasting money on. No, but we need to leave in the rant. That said, is 10 grand expensive for eye surgery? I'm not sure.

It seems too cheap. I get it on a coupon if I could. No, it's exactly how much it should cost. It's no big deal. And I'm being honest about it. And it's very minimal and you probably won't even notice it, God willing. But my friend did bring up the God forbids the God forbids. He's like, but what if, you know, with any surgery, something went crazy wrong.

And I would say, well, then I will have an incredible malpractice settlement. And I'll be able to get out of this big stupid business of mine. True. True. And podcast, mostly audio. We'll put a brown bag over your face. It'll all be. Yeah.

It'll be fine. No, I'll just do the podcast like this. So, Ben, what do you not? I'll just always look surprised. So you're going under tomorrow. Are you scared? You know, I was scared. Have you been under before?

Have you had surgery? A couple times. Okay. Have you? I have. Oh, yeah, for your brain thing. Your brain surgery. Back here.

Cranium and sinuses. Hmm, adenoids? Yes. I had my tonsils and adenoids removed Three months. Three months old? Yeah, I couldn't breathe. Apparently,

apparently like I just. That's the most Jewish thing I've ever heard. Apparently I could not breathe. I'm just like in the cradle. Like it's almost like somebody was putting a pillow over my face. I just imagine you as a three month old Jewish infant going. Go go, go,

that's so good. Go go. Oh my God. That's crazy, dude. But yeah, I did. Three months. Fun fact. I've had a bunch of surgeries.

Surgery's great. You know, it's funny. My buddy who's in recovery just had a vasectomy last week. And so after 10 years sober, he had to take a valium because he's awake during the procedure. But the doctor was like, I want you to take this so you relax because it's, you know, kind of in a very, sensitive area. And he, um, he took it and he called me while he was being driven by his wife to the surgery. And he goes, bro, I'm about to go get another vasectomy if I get to take value. He's like, I'm going to find another surgery to get dog. That is hilarious. That is hilarious.

I'm assuming you're going completely under. This isn't local. No, it's, uh, but it's like a twilight. So it's what they'd put you under if you're getting your wisdom teeth removed. So it's, you know, it's not general anesthesia. I completely forgot. I've had my wisdom teeth out. That was the single worst day of my entire life. It was exactly that. You're completely awake. I could hear them crunching as they're removing my tooth because they took it out in like nine pieces. And it's, oh my God. I've just, I just like was literally brought back to this moment. I'm laying there completely awake. Chips pieces of my teeth are coming out. out and I can't do anything about it.

Not to say that that's going to be what it's like for you tomorrow. No, thanks, Ben. You really know how to put me at easy. I'm totally completely different. Wait, you didn't get put out. I mean, I know you don't have to, but they didn't give you anything to kind of like any value, anything to kind of like calm your nerves. But I heard.

Like, sorry. I felt nothing that you, even when you don't feel pain, you still feel. You feel pressure. Like, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So that was... That's wild.

Yeah. I had my... I was knocked out. So what they do, like if you get a colonoscopy or if you get, you know, your wisdom teeth removed in a civilized society and not in wherever the fuck you got it removed, they put you in like, it's like propofal. It's that magic milk, baby. It's that hot Michael Jackson, you know?

And it like, it kind of puts you out, but not in like a deep general anesthesia where they have to put a breathing tube in and breathe for you, basically. Yeah, no. No. I was out. but I was awake enough that it was, that it was terribly uncomfortable. It was terribly uncomfortable.

Do you think it was a mistake that I watched the surgery already on YouTube that I'm getting? Probably. That said, now I want you to film it. And we're going to start a Patreon, folks. It'll be our first ever Patreon episode.

$5 a month to get to watch Josh have eye surgery. And I will narrate the entire surgery. How about that? That would be amazing. And the reality is here, guys, is that we're going to start a Patreon soon because as much as we love doing this podcast, if it doesn't start netting us some more scratch, it's over, guys. It's over. It's over. So it's going to be the choices where Patreon or Onlyfans and Josh and I have decided that we have a few years to go before we show our Schmex for cash.

So that could come down the line, but not today. Not today. Let me ask you, if you had a really good friend who. said, you know what, I decided to do only fans, a guy friend or a girlfriend. Let's not, let's not gender it. But you had a really good friend and they were like, I've decided to do only fans with my face in it. And I'm going to, I'm projected to make like a good living, not like 10 of Mojo numbers, but like, you know, a couple hundred grand a year. And it's just easier.

And I think this is the route for me. Do you support them? Do you judge them? Does it change the way you look at them? I 100% support them. I think that as of right now, like, of course, I know what my friends do, but it's not like I go to my friends work and watch them work. So if my friend was on only fans, I'm not on only fans.

I'm not watching my friend. So, like, ignorance is sort of bliss, right? It's different if your friend is incredibly famous and this somehow ends up impacting you. But if this is, like, a regular, normal friend thinks that if they hop on, line and show their schmack next to maybe a banana or next to an apple. Maybe they do something like my I would do it next to your chocolate. I would do it next to a blackberry. They show a blueberry, you know?

I would do it next to a chapstick. So, you know, for scale. So I really look. Chapstick. Wow. Exactly. Yeah, I'm not doing a banana. What do I hate myself?

Maybe it's a mini banana and you're tricking the people. Have you seen those little bananas? That, now that's a good idea. Right? Right. So yeah, I don't think I. have an issue unless it affected me personally. You? We've talked about this before and that's because it's great and that's hero bread. I just love it because it tastes like bread and yet it's got all

the goodness of bread. You're not going to be like feeling like something slightly off or the flavor profile, leave some weird like aftertaste and none of it. You're just going to be like, this is delicious. But here's the good news. It's got fewer calories than the leading national brand and five grams of protein per slice. Oh, by the way, it's zero gram sugar per slice and ultra low net carbs. What else is there to know? But it's so good. It's delicious.

It's scrumptious. My son loves it, especially because it's like it's soft, it's fluffy. And whether I'm like toasting up or frying up some of the bread for like a little, you know, indulgent French toast thing on a Sunday or using their, tortillas for a wrap or the buns, whatever it is, they've got you covered. I'm so hyped on Hero Bread. I can't even tell you. And here's the best part.

If you listen to Good Guys and you go to Hero.com, you're going to get 10% off your first purchase. That's right. So visit Hero.com and use code Good Guys to check out for 10% off your first purchase. They've got you covered. That's H-E-R-O. dot co use code good guys for 10% off your first order shout out to my boy lynn who's the one who got a vasectomy last week where he said when the doctor was doing the surgery he had on like the doctor like microscope glasses that they wear and he said to the doctor hey can you get a pair of

those from my wife that's pretty good uh shout out to all the all us small guys out there I'm just kidding. I'm very average. I don't know why I got insecure when I said that. I don't want to put that out there. I was going to say only guys that have small winners say that they're average. I think you've got a big hog over there. Big hog.

I'm doing, in reality, I'm doing fine. You're doing fine. You're doing fine. But I don't, I can't, I don't know how to be that guy who's like,

yeah, yeah, that. I have that. Right? Do you know anybody that's broken their peanuts? Sorry, Marshall. I'm sorry you have to listen to this podcast.

I'm getting uncomfortable. Sorry. What then? Do you know anybody that's broken their penis? No, I've just heard about it in myth. I was with some friends over the weekend, and they mentioned to me that in the gay community, it is actually quite common for a broken penis,

and the way my jaw dropped, like I, like snapped, and all of a sudden it's like a meat hook. It's hooked. And I just, I was flabbergasted. I was flabbergasted. Are you Googling broken penis? I'm just Googling broken penis facts to find out more because I've heard that.

So basically, it's real. If your penis is engorged, then a wrong sort of motion happens where it is, it stops short, then yeah. Like if you're incredibly erect, you're trying to make the subway, all of a sudden the doors close and your penis rammed straight into the subway doors. Which leads me to one of my favorite jokes, which we will be cutting this out. What happens to a Jewish guy who walks into a wall with a full erection? He hits his nose. Boom! Bang boom, perpetuating stereotypes.

Welcome to the good guys. We're not cutting that out. It's gorgeous. But it's funny. Thinking about it, I don't know what that's, like, yes, it says the Jews have big nose, but it also could be saying the Jews of small penises. I think it's both. I think it's mean on two, it's dual level meme. I think it's dual level funny. I think it's a great joke.

A penile fracture occurs if one or both corpora cavernosa rupture through the tunica. Okay, whatever. When your erect penis is knocked or forced to bend, penile fracture is rare. The exact number of men who experience a fractured penis is unknown, but it probably occurs in one in 10,000 or one in 100,000 men or one in three. friends of Brian Kelly. Shout out points, guy. Literally. Wow.

I want to get a, I mean, I feel like we would be remiss if we didn't look up. Okay. Oh my God. Here's how you know. Signs and symptoms of a penis fracture. Immediate penile pain, a popping or cracking sound, rapid loss of erection, well, I'd hope so. Swelling in the shaft, discoloration of the shaft, and,

And yeah, that just seems all bad. I can't even imagine how you'd repair it. It requires immediate medical attention, might need an ultrasound. Surgical repair is typically recommended. And if you don't treat it, you could have a curved hog or permanent inability to get or keep an erection for the rest of your life. Terrible. God forbid. Terrible.

God forbid. The scariest part of what you just said is discoloration of the shaft. I think I can deal with seeing something crooked. If I look down and my penis was yellow, I would absolutely drop dead. I would drop dead. Are there, and I don't mean to be too suggestive here, is there something that would turn off your wife? And I'll tell you, like, for my wife,

is there something referencing canoodling that if you said or did, that your wife would immediately be like, get away from me? Like if I called my like, if I call my member my shaft to my wife, she'd be like, don't look at me for two to three weeks. For sure. The same. I think that whatever page would think, Claudia would think the same. Claudia would think the same. Yeah, shaft is definitely a big.

It's not a, that's not a sexy word by any means. No. But it's also like, I'm always amazed at how different we are because we could be in like the height of a terrible fight. And yet there's always a part of me that goes, yeah, but we could still hook up because hooking up is awesome and then we'll pick the fight back up after. And it's like that has been so clearly sort of relayed to me that no, no, no, no, there's no separating it. If we're in a bad mood, then it's not happening.

I think I'm with Page on this one. I think Claudia might be with you on that one. Really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If I'm in a fight or if I'm like if I'm upset about it. something. I can't, I can't be romantic while upset. I don't know. Wow. They don't make them like you. I guess. I guess. Or they don't make them like you. Who knows? Who knows? I have a, I have a pretty good

what are you nuts. Is it too early to do a what are you nuts? No, never too early. Okay. So, on my way here, I stopped in this lovely place where I occasionally get salads, maybe a sandwich. which is one of those like nice shops. And I picked up a tea. I didn't, you know, I had drank a couple of cups of coffee today. I didn't want anything overly caffeine, but I wanted something. So I picked up a hibiscus tea. I drank half the tea, right?

Half the tea. And then I decided, I drank half the tea. And then I decided just to look at the back. I was looking for a nutritional fact panel, right? I was just curious. And the front is it's a homemade hibiscus tea. organic green tea, organic hibiscus, organic lemon peel, and natural uzu. I look at the back.

I guess because it's homemade, there's no nutritional fact panel. There's a warning. Okay, you're ready for this? Warning, big letters. This product has not been pasteurized and therefore may contain harmful bacteria that can cause serious illness in children, the elderly, and perhaps persons with weakened immune systems. What are you nuts?

I got a tea. I'm drinking tea. I didn't sign up for this. I drank half of it. I looked at the back. I'm not drinking the rest of it. Why? Like if I need a warning label on a bottle of homemade tea, it's just not worth it.

Keep your tea. Keep your label. I want nothing to do with it. Nothing. What are you nuts? That's a great. It's so true. And it's probably because it's homemade that they have to have this like disclaimer.

Exactly. Because like the owner and his wife boiled the pot of tea in their kitchen. on their stove, made it iced, filled the bottles, and it's fine. It's totally fine. But don't tell me that the tea that I just drank that I bought from you for $450 can make me sick. Like I'm already as neurotic as it is. I drank, I gulped down the tea. Terrible. That's so true. My wife and I, how about this, we love this Asian chili crisp. It's like, you know, it was very TikTok popular, like it's fried garlic, chili oil. And, you know, it's a lot. It's fried garlic. Chili oil. And, you you can literally put it on everything from like eggs to veggies to rice, whatever.

And on it, on the label, is a warning and it's like Prop 65, which is some random California law that you see, by the way, in parking lots will be a sign that says the chemicals in this parking lot could be harmful to the reproductive process and or to pregnant women, right? Because like, you know, carbon monoxide or, you know, like the exhaust fumes, that I get. but my chili crisp, my delicious Asian jelly crisp, that can be harmful to women's reproduct. I was like, babe, we literally cannot eat this anymore. And we love it.

So we may get it home now. Home, Maine. And now we're going to put a different warning on it. Even things that are harmful, they need to do away with the warnings. I'm sorry. I know that cigarettes are bad for me. When I go to Montreal and I want a cigarette,

I don't want to see on the pack some sick. child or some woman's lung or do you know what I'm talking about in Canada they have like these that's everywhere Europe I think it's everywhere but America everywhere but America I don't need to see it I don't need to because it's not going to stop me from having that one cigarette that I'm desperately craving just one just one it's certainly not going to stop the addict the person who's addicted to cigarettes from not smoking that pack it's just an eyesore I don't need to see it I don't want to see it I don't want to know that my tea wasn't pasteurized because I don't know what the difference is between pasteurized and unpasteurized tea. I'm sure it goes through a process. It's fine. I wouldn't have seen it either way. Just sell me the

goods. Just sell me the goods. That's so true. I totally agree. And not to mention, people are smoking in Europe. And I worked in Canada for over a year. And they call them, first of all, they call cigarettes darts, which is sick. Sick. And dude, shout out my boy Gavin, who is my assistant on Turner and who like every now and then I'd look at him because he smoked regularly. And by every now and then I'd be like every day. I'd be like, you want to go smoke a fucking dart, bro? And he would be like, oh, you want to spark a dart, brother? And we would just go smoke darts and eat craft service.

And it was the life. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. God, I love it. I've said it once. I'll say it again. Smoking is cool. Yes.

scream it it's cool things can be bad for you and cool right like i actually this is an interesting an interesting thought the idea that something like everything that's bad for you is cool but to say that it's not cool is just lying right like cigarettes are terrible for you terrible there's no way around it doesn't mean they're not cool it doesn't mean they're not cool yeah i think look as much as i love my big, wonderful square life of like, you know, taking a boat out on the lake and showing and being punctual and not indulging in, you know, illicit substances. There is nothing like scoring a bag of bleep this heroin. No, I'm kidding. Okay, so my Woody and Nuts. Wait, I need to go back. Do you have a boat? No, but I find myself, now that I'm sober, I'm on a lot of boats. I feel like that

should be like in 12 step they should be like listen stay sober long enough you're going to be on the water a lot i love the water love it i do too are you boats are you boats are phenomenal you are you you can't do ocean though right that's nuts i love oceans i love it i i do too but i'm like i find that people on boats on the ocean are always getting sick it's possible but i do it like we do it all the time we're big ocean boat people big time really you don't get sick no I mean, I've gotten sick. Like if you go out during like a very, very bumpy time or if you have too small a boat. I just don't think you're ponying up for the big boat.

Well, what a flex. Obviously, if you're taking your dingy into the deep seas, you're going to get sick. If you're feeling the swell, you're fucking broke. If you're feeling bumps, you don't get sick me for my 200 foot yacht. No. You're out there. with like Larry Ellison. I love KiwiCo. Max Peck loves KiwiCo. Shy Peck loves Kiwiko. We are a family who loves KiwiCo. If you have a kid in your life, a nephew, a neighbor, a little neighbor boy

who you like smile at when you walk down the hallway on your way to like some 4 a.m. bar that you're going to stay out to and make bad decisions. And you're like, you know, about 12 hours ago, I crossed paths with a sweet little kid and their parent. And I thought like, maybe I need to get my life together. You owe that kid a present. And that present should be KiwiCo, right? Look, summer's a time to make memories with your kids. And whether you're staying home or heading out, KiwiCo invites kids and kids at heart to celebrate the season of discovery. Look, you're going to get a subscription box. That's right. A box is going to come every, it'll come every month. And if you gift it to someone, once a month, that kid is going to get the

greatest surprise in the mail. They're going to be so hype. My son literally starts doing breakdance moves when he sees his KiwiCo. And it's awesome projects that are created by, you know, scientists and educators and engineers and it's hands on. So it's something that they can work on that isn't a screen. And it's not frustrating. It's like easy enough that they can figure it out, but also keeps them engaged for like longer than five minutes, which if you're a parent, you know, most kids after five minutes, they're over it. My son had to build this like cool little, like it was almost like stained glass, but it was, you know, it was made out of, out of like plastic, but he got to do this really cool, like stained plastic sort of art project thing. And then it was

like an installation. Like now it's in his playroom like near the window and we love looking through it. Or the other day he got to build himself a costume. He also loves that there's a bottle rocket kit because the kid is just, what can I say? He just, he likes all the things. He's just total kid. And there's no commitment. You can pause or cancel any time. There's something for kids of all ages. Each box is geared especially for the kid of that age range. And you can have an awesome summer with KiwiCo. So get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with code good guys at kiwico.com. That's 50% off your. your first mom at k-I-W-I-C-O-com promo code good guys my woody nuts is very simple and it's something that really

annoys me and that's cutting people off i find that when i'm telling a story reason i was telling a story to one of my wife's family members you know who you are and she just has this thing and i love her she's the best but i'll be like so i'm taking max to school right and she's like right kids in school right, it never ends. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm taking Max to school and he goes upstairs and they grow up so fast. Like, uh-huh. I'm like, so he gets into his classroom and I'm walking back to my car and I see my phone

ring and it's his teacher. Teachers have your number now, right? It's crazy. So different. It's so different. I'm like, shut up. Shut up. You are messing with the rhythm of my story.

What are you nuts? Like, can you save? This isn't DVD extras. I didn't ask for you to like narrate my story. Shut up. What are you nuts? What are you nuts? Couldn't agree more.

It's the same way that people insert themselves into conversations. Like, if you're having a closed conversation, it was just with this person. I swear to God, if you were talking about farts, she would come out of nowhere and say, oh, I farted before. Leave us alone, lady. We're not talking to you. Leave us alone. Yeah, leave you and your gas out of this.

Keep you and your gas out of this. Should we go to a speak pipe? Yes, yes, we should. I love our speak pipes. They're always so unbelievably unhinged. They are so unhinged. And just for anyone who only listens audio-wise, because I realize we don't always do a disclaimer,

but go to speakpipe.com slash good guys, and you can leave us a question, something you want us to air on the show. It's always better when it's like a fun question looking for advice or something like this. And there's a good chance we will read it on the pod. So it'll be in the description of our YouTube channel. Here is from a young lady named Leah.

Hi, Josh and Ben. First of all, I just want to say I love the podcast. My favorite part of every podcast is any kind of food talk. And I feel like we need a little bit more of it in an upcoming episode. So I have to know for both of you, ideal Italian food spread. Let's go dinner. Can't wait to hear what you guys say. Love you.

I food talk. That's what she said. I thought she said, dude talk. And I was like, I was like, what are you nuts? Need more dude talk, food talk, Italian spread. Josh, you go first because you're always better than this. And if I go first, mine will look like shit. So you go first. You're good at romanticizing. Oh my God. Am I? Okay. So we're going to start with a table side Caesar. No, no, no, I'm sorry. First we're going to start with a bread basket. to knock your effing socks off. Where? What do you mean?

Where? Where are you eating? No, fine. Actually, we don't have to do that. We're creating. I'm creating this. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, so I'm talking olive oil where you can taste the olive.

Like I'm talking about not benign olive oil that you get from the supermarket. This has been imported. And that deep-seated balsamic, it's like, it's almost as though they forgot it in the barrel. Like, they found a barrel. in the back of the farm and they were like, this has been aging twice as long. It's gotta be right. Put it in the bottle, give it to Josh, I'll eat it.

So they put a little of that olive oil and a little bit of that balsamic. And then they come out with beautiful, fresh baked bread. Now, I love a pretzel roll. We know this, well documented, but that's for a steakhouse. It's an Italian. I want like good Italian bread, beautiful, crusty. And this bread, it's gonna be coming out hot throughout the dinner,

Right, because I'm going to be mopping up tomato sauce with it. Dressings, random things, gorgeous. So we're going to do that. Then we're going to do a couple of apps for the table, right? We're going to do a fried calamari. Beautiful. We're going to do a, you know, a high-end bruschetta offering with some nice, you know, really good moths, fresh tomatoes on there.

And then because it's so damn popular, but it's so damn good. And this, we're going to do a barata. And it's seasonal, we're going peaches. It's stone fruit season, baby. Let's get crazy with a little bit of that funky ass balsamic on it. So that's where we're going. Then as we move on, we're going to do a table-side Caesar because there's nothing I love more than table-side anything.

Okay? I love dinner in the show. That's why I love Benahanas. And they're going to be, you know, doctoring it up, doing the thing, anchovies, raw egg. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Fresh pecorino, fresh barmezion. And then we're going to do a pasta course like they do in the old country.

I want Pente vodka. I want a cacho I pepe. I want a little linguine clams, whatever. Then there's going to be a meat course. We're going to go a cutlet, parmesan or not. Okay. Then we'll do a nice, some kind of meat dish, whatever, maybe sausage pepper. I don't know.

And then we're going to do rainbow cookies, canolis, and proffitrals. put that in the bank. Holy smokes. I should have gone first. All right. I'm coming to your dinner. Maybe I'll add a couple of items, okay? Yes.

Because you did that so well. It was beautiful. I love that you included the balsamic vinegar, the gorgeous vinegar with your olive oil because I actually hate it when I go to a restaurant. They only give me olive oil. Where's the zip? Where's the zip?

I need it. I need that acid running down my throat. What you miss, though, warm butter. I need some warm butter. I'm going to alternate between my nice Italian bread, a little olive oil, a little, you know, balsamic vinegar, and that warm butter spread it on it. Personally, I like that. I also like, when you go to an Italian restaurant and they have that, like, free little thing that comes with the bread,

you know, maybe it's like a pickled veggie, maybe it's, you know what I'm talking about? That's really good. Delicious. If we're going down this, this is the most non-coture meal we've ever had. We already talking about calamari. We were talking about linguine with clams. I'm going to add a clams casino

because clams casino is just, oof, a plus breadcrumbs, garlic, cilantro, clams, casino, L.O. gorgeous.

You did your Caesar salad. I hope you told them to keep the end, chovies to themselves or break them up and put them in the salad dressing. I just don't want to see them. It's just like the cigarettes in Canada. I don't want to see it. It's fine if it's there that I don't want to know about it at all. Your meats were great. I need it to be chicken parm. The palm's really important. Pente vodka. So good. Delicious. The meat, we're calling out a steak. I want it medium rare. It's going to be delicious. And I love the fact that you think. through in perfiderales.

Just what an unbelievable dessert. I'll throw in a tiramisu on the house. We'll get the check. Give me a little strawberry candy like your grandma used to put in your pocket when you left her house on the way out the door. Shout out Carbone. And all of a sudden, we've had the meal of a lifetime.

Thank you for that speak pipe because honestly, I'm hungry. I'm horny. I have all the fields. Is that our new podcast? Podcasts, hungry and horny? Maybe. Maybe.

They're probably, right? Hungry and Hornies. It's got to be. But we're making merch, hungry and horny. Hungry and Horny. Yeah, I like that. Hungry and all horned up. Okay.

Our next one is from Anonymous. Hi, good guys. My name is Lauren. And might I just say, I am obsessed with you both. I am. Cheers to you guys. Thank you for coming. constantly bringing me and my family so much happiness growing up in the Jewish community and not

having a ton of people to talk to and just look up to you in social media. Just having you guys now has changed everything and can't thank you enough, but let's get into it. Ben specifically wanted to ask you how you make sure to network at every event that you're at and really how you connect with people as Ben saw for the celebrity. I just need to know. And as someone who's in my late 20s and just trying to grow my network and expand in my career, would just love to hear from you and how you are such a top networker and really connect with your crowd. So thank you guys so much.

I love you guys. And I hope this gets played. I'm noticing a trend of female Jews listening to the podcast. Am I not? I think that you're right. I think that some female Jews do listen. Excellent question. How do I network so well?

I'll use the Yiddish word occasionally a bit of a schnera, you know? Just you don't shoot your shot. Your shot will never score. So I shoot my shot. And I like to think I'm a good conversationalist. I like to think that I listen to people. I like to think, I think that's key. You said that earlier, Josh, and you, what are you nuts that you hate?

I hate people that lack self-awareness. And I think that I'm a self-aware person. I know where maybe my opinion is valued or where it isn't or where I can't or where I can't. But I appreciate the kind words. I'm happy that we played that speak pipe. But I don't know. I think it's just a personality thing.

You, Josh, you're a great networker. Well, I'm glad someone said it because Anonymous shortly didn't. You played the speak pipe. You picked it. I know. I get too many flowers. I want you to get your due, Ben, because you are the greatest. The MTA has approved an increase in the New York City subway and bus fares to $2.90 by the end of August, up from $275.

Ben thought, I've never seen them more upset, guys. The subways are disgusting. This is my problem, right? The taxis are disgusting. This is my problem. With fair increases needs to be a better product, right? It's not a problem. Nobody would argue over an extra 15 cents if he got on the train.

It was beautiful. It was air conditioned. You weren't scared. The seats were cushioned. It's a horrendous, horrendous experience that you deal with because it gets you to from A to B faster, right? No question. I understand why you take the subway. I totally get it. But it's a terrible, terrible experience. In the summer in particular, I can't even imagine, I don't know the statistics,

the amount of people that just pass out on hot trains. Like when homeless people are peeing, you smell the pee, it's so hot. It's just, it's disgusting. So with fair increases, I think you should put a little bit of the money into making the subways a little bit nicer. Like if you look at trains from these old movies where it looks so gorgeous and glam, our subways are fucking gross, gross. So I'm angry about it because they're just going to use it to line their pockets when they should be taking that 15 cents per person and using it to improve the experience. Josh?

I say preach, baby. I know how you feel. I know, listen, you are a passionate king and you love your New York City. I'm a big fan of the subway. I think there's no other way to get around the city. I think any other form of transportation is a truly winning a nuts. I grew up in New York City taking the crosstown bus to school at 11. A lot of people think my mother should have been locked up with child protective services for that.

But shout out, Barb, we did what we had to do. I used to take the subway to the last stop on the F train in Jamaica, Queens, to go visit my friend Louis. We would smoke blunts in his backyard. It was a nice time. I was allergic to his Pomeran. I digress. How many Pomeranians is one kidney? They have like six. That being said, I'm not totally convinced on how you keep the subway clean. And I will say it's not New York's issue because San Francisco, like any major city, the transportation isn't gorgeous. It's a

cultural problem. Go to Japan. These trains are whisper quiet. People stay quiet. They mind their business. They keep their eyes forward. No one is putting on a show and asking for money. No one's getting in fights. There's no, you know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's culture.

It's a cultural thing that I don't see, I don't see New York nor any major city being better about their mass transit situation. You know it would be cool. It's a little crazy. But you know how you can walk into these like, new Amazon stores and just like pick up a bottle of water and they charge your Amazon account. Yeah. Imagine if the subway was a dollar or $1.50.

You walk onto the subway. And depending on how you behaved was how much money you needed to pay. So if you took a piss on the subway, it's 50 bucks. Yes. You took a dump. It's $250. If you tried to pretend to shoot someone, you know what I mean? Like they're a parking ticket.

there are speeding violations. Why aren't there violations for conduct on mass transportation? Because I completely agree with you. The problem is the people. And the people, I do think that this is a little bit of an excuse, though, that the city and state can then use. But if they made improvements, we would probably fuck it up. So that's probably why they don't want to make improvements. Because if they put in a beautiful plush carpet and velour seats, we'd take a dump on it

and they couldn't clean it. I couldn't agree with you more. New York City screwed. So is L.A. and we couldn't be happier to live in these cities. So what are we nuts? It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

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