Good Guys - Our Dad, John Stamos is here!

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

The incomparable John Stamos joins the Good Guys this week for a conversation you don't want to miss. Stamos tells the guys how he plans to get ripped at 60, behind-the-scenes of his time on Full House, how he got the Olson Twins fired, and falling asleep during canoodling?!? Stamos shares how he truly wanted to be famous, and how his love for entertaining fueled his career. He shares memories of his time with the late Bob Saget and glows with his infectious charm - what are ya nuts???   Leave us a voicemail here!   Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.   Sponsors: It’s golf. It’s not golf. It’s Topgolf. Pro-tip, download the app & book ahead of time to Come Play Around on Half-Price  Get 50% off your first month + FREE shipping on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/goodguys You can buy a car from Vroom entirely online. So, next time you need to buy a car, just grab your phone, go to Vroom.com, and check out thousands of cars Download the FREE Ibotta app code GOODGUYS to receive $5 just for trying Go  to Nutrafol.com code GOODGUYS to save $10 off your first month’s subscription + free shipping Go to Zocdoc.com/goodguys and download the Zocdoc app for FREE   Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck and I'm Ben Sauffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome from Southern California. I do voices now too, Josh. Do you know that?

Can we do the sitcom music as you walk into frame, like the round of applause? He was at my house the other day. Yeah, Marshall. Thanks, Marshall. He was at the house and I have, I steal a lot of stuff from television shows that I've been on over the years. Mostly full house. You just steal a lot. I was like, wow.

No, no, I don't really steal my. But I had the doors from Fuller House, those red, very iconic doors. Josh was on the show. And I built a bathroom in my backyard. And I told Josh, she said, let's do it. Because he always, let's do a TikTok, TikTok, TikTok. I said, well, here's a TikTok chance.

Every time it's a bathroom. Every time I walk out, there's an applaud. People have applause and scream. Like, what you want? He said, no, people won't get it. And yet here you are bringing it up again. We could have ended that over the weekend. We could cut this part out too, right, Marshall?

I think it's a great idea. All right. Well, you do it, then. Oh, we're started, baby. No, we're rolling. That is boring. That's not a good story. This is so.

Now, John, I think it's worth mentioning, we saw each other over the weekend for your beautiful son's birthday. Yes. Beautiful home. Thank you. Are we allowed to say you're turning 60 soon? You just did. So here we are.

And you want to get shredded. Yeah. Yeah. Tell us more. I want to be in the best shape of my life at 60. What's that look like for? for John Stamos. You?

Like a Josh Peck type, you know? Not me. No. Do you work out? Do you work out of it? No. No. I want to talk to you.

So how did you start this beverage company? No, no, no. You're not doing the Stinghouse thing. I told him before. No, but I mean. I said, be careful because he likes to flip it. It's not flipping. I'm just curious.

I'm curious with John Stamos. That's my new thing. Podcast Circus Salee over here, right? With the flips. He's like an acrobat. We got to go. We got to go with the flips. I want to hear about you doing testosterone

replacement therapy at 59. I'm not doing any of that. But how did you start the thing real fast? You can cut it out later. No, no, no, we're not cutting out. Who comes out with? Go ahead. In Sprit Society, yeah.

How much money is it? Did he do big with this thing? We cover this. We're only having you once. We're starting to do well. I bet you are. It's crushing. Two years old.

Yeah. And we have any doing it? I'm thinking about it because it's here so much that I should be invested. Otherwise, I'm going to start going like this halfway through the pie. I should just give you a free 8% or something. So you're going to get sure. Yes. Well, you, what did I do? I called you because I don't know about this, these, I've never taken testosterone or any of that because, although I could use it. But, you know, I was going to, I did meet with a doctor a couple of times a few years ago, but we were trying to get pregnant again. So they said, no testosterone. But then I hear everybody talking about these peptides. Peptides are big. And he knew everything about it, this guy. Yeah, he's learned.

I like that stuff. I was on peptides for a little bit for my role in Turner and Hooch. Right. You think I wouldn't have changed my body chemistry for a show that we're. so quickly canceled, but nevertheless. Well, we were on the same, we were on the same Disney Plus, and I'm canceled now, too, on there. Yeah. How does that feel? How does cancellations feel with all your success?

Does it hurt? No. Really? Not anymore. No. I used to. I mean, when our show, when grandfather got canceled, that was, that was really hard, because I loved you and I loved the show, and I loved the people.

But, you know, you just get to a point where it's like, fuck it, man. You know, it's, I hate to say, like, oh, everything's meant to be. It would be himself. but I used to put so much stress and energy into all of it, you know, trying to control every little bit of it. And if people, you know, if they're not watching, what's next, you know? My mindsets have been cleared up, you know, I just, I just have so many, there's just so many ideas and so many, you know, and I think I talk to you about this a lot, which is like, you have access to a lot of very successful, you know, people over the years and you've got to use your, you know, use your people. So this fitness journey, what's it look like? I want to know, are we going to do meal planning?

You're going to get on peptides, probably with the great Dr. Craig Conover, we'll have on the pod. My guy. We're getting free now. Peptide King. Talk about peptides because people might think it's heroin or something. It's a natural antagonist for human growth hormone. Don't at me. Research your own science.

I am not a scientist. But it can help you to lose weight, maybe put on a little bit extra muscle mass. And it's not quite as much of a kick in the ass as testosterone. And it's more natural, obviously, then, right? Yes. Yeah. You know, truth of it, I've never done anything. anything. I've worked out inconsistently, you know, since I'm 18. So, you know, I'm in decent

shape. I could kick it up. There's just to come to a point where you're like, I'm 59, you know, it's hard to get rid of everything. Like if I really got ripped right now, but just on my own, even my face gets so thin. And does it look, I don't mean to be ages, but does it look weird for someone 60 to be like ultra ripped? Well, I don't want to be ultra ripped. I want to be like you. Stop it. You're too good to me. That was an insult. Let's get some jokes going here. Josh is very, like he's, look, I spend a lot of time with Don Rickles, and I'm sure your audience, they don't know. Love. No, they do.

Okay. And sometimes I'll, you know, it's been a while since he's passed away, but I, you know, I'll be a little too much like Don and it hurts Josh's feelings. And I don't blame it. We've had a hard journey with my feelings. And John's inappropriate jokes. They're not inappropriate. What I'll do is like, I will see, like, he's clearly the guy. And I just met you. So I would say something about you to put him down, to pull you up. Did I tell you that? He did. I didn't want to say that you're in reruns, John, but I said, this is what's going to happen.

So keep him on the guard runs. He's going to turn, he's going to turn in and ask about you. Okay, we're still doing that. He does that. And then he's going to make fun of me and say how handsome you are. Yeah, you haven't made fun of him once since I walked in? Have I made fun of you since you cried about it about two years ago? I did not cry about it.

But have I did it since then? What happened? I'll tell you what happened. Rickles, who's a worthwhile legend icon hero. was a, rest of soul, not a handsome, nebishy-looking guy who needed to be the funniest guy in the room. Sure. Because he was such a...

What's the word? Jewish. Jewish, yes. But like he was such a gnome. He was a little gnome man. Did you see when I brought him into Howard Stern? Yeah, I've seen him all. They both spoke.

They both talked, I snuck him, because he wouldn't go on Howard, and Howard loved him. So I finally got after two or three years. And they both connected. on that, that they were not attractive guys, and they had to be funny. In fact, Howard, Don was talking about having to be funny when he was in school,

and he didn't get a lot of girls. And Howard said, oh, yeah, me too, you know. And Don said, oh, really? You look like a Jewzulu. What Jewzulu? Sorry. He was a vest. And crazy genius, but he was built like a gnome.

So when he's going after Frank Sinatra, you're like, this is as good as it gets because, like, who puts Frank Sinatra in this place? This little Jewish gnom man. When Stamos would do it to me, I'd be like, Stamos, what you don't understand is, you might not feel that in your heart. I actually know you don't,

because you have this beautiful, fragile artist, humble soul. You're varsity. You're gorgeous. You're successful. And from the outside perspective, you haven't had a lot of, what's the word? Knox.

Well, that's true. Ben, but I look at it that way. Do you think that I'm all that? Maybe I don't need to work out so hard for this 60th birthday. I don't think you need to work out. You have a very good tan. I think tan is 90% of it, right?

You don't have to be that strong. You look at the perfect. Does he go to tanning? Does he ever go to tanning beds? Yes or no? No, no, come on. Too scared. Seriously?

Yeah. He looks a little baked. I mean, I spent the weekend in Miami. Oh, okay. Big shot, huh? Yeah, that Miami son, Bell Harbor. Did you go to, what are you doing there? Just like being rich.

Yeah. Yeah, laying on the beach. Hanging out. It was my birthday. Happy birthday. What birthday? What day was your birthday? April 3rd.

April 3rd. That's nice. You see how I'm doing it? Yeah, no, no, it's really. Let's go back. Wait, wait. Marshall, can you clip that, please? Listen, Josh, we can talk about the Dalai Lama.

Do you see that? That was pretty weird. Stick your tongue out, Josh. Oh, wait. Is that weird? You know, I'm the thing is that weird. It's the weirdest. It's the weirdest.

Yeah, and you seem. I've spent 30 years, you know, in the child abuse. I work for this organization is called Child Help, the Prevention of Child Abuse. And I have an 8-100 number. You've helped me out with some of it, I think, over the years. So, yeah, I mean, to me, that looked like, Jared without the subway sandwich, right? I mean, he's like, but he looked like he was falling in love with that kid, too.

Yeah, they're so weird. I mean, what was the fault? I just looked at it this morning, but I couldn't believe it. He apologized. So to Jared. Yeah, well. Right? Well, Jared, there's no more, you know, no more subway sandwiches for Jared.

He's in jail. What his PR team said, though, was so weird. Did you see this? I'll read it to you if you didn't see it. Did he get tired? No, it feels like he was playful or something. It's silly. Playful.

That's exactly what it was. is that he does this all the time off camera, and he's just trying to be playful. It's like, red flag! Yeah. That's so playful. Well, it's too bad. And you know what?

I don't want to drag the show down, but a lot of it is these kids are vulnerable in their home. You think that it's some weirdo is going to have a trench coat and take them off into a van, but it could be, you know, obviously it's parents and neighbors and uncles and Dalai Lama's. I don't mean to be indelicate here, but indulge me. Dalai Lama that fuck.

Is he? Is he? I don't know. Do you know? Do you know? Dolly mama can't fuck? They do stuff in the sand. So we're setting these people, we're setting these people up for failure.

We're setting ourselves up for this. Sure. This idea of chastity is really hurting people. 100%. I don't think it has anything to do with the eight-year-old in his tongue. Like it would, I agree with you if it was like a gorgeous blonde. Like, right? Like, what's he going with this?

Unless I misunderstood what you were saying. I'm saying that these people do. don't have any sexual expression in any way. And so that it manifests in these weird, odd, gross ways. You know, you take a holy man, right? And I went to Catholic Church. Caitlin went to my wife, went to Catholic Church. We were trying to find something for our son.

And it's, you know, so we're not going there. But what's the worst thing that a man of God could do? Like, there's so many steps. Like, Rob, you know, steal something, get a hooker. Don't hit the table. The last thing is a young boy. It's sickening. It's fucking sickening.

Disgusting. Don't get me started on it because child abuse is on the rise. It's terrible. The pandemic, you know, everybody was cooped up in their homes. Yeah. And you have a kid and you will someday. The idea of hitting your fucking, like, could you, I mean, horrible. Guys, I'm so excited to share with you Zoc Doc because I love the doctor.

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Play Store and download the free I-B-B-A-A-B-O-T-A-A in the Google Play or app store and use code good guys. Anyway, we've taken the show right in the pilot. It all comes back to basketball diaries. We just spoke about it. He just saw a basketball diaries for the first time. What a crazy movie. And yeah, his, what is it?

I said this before. Priest uses the paddle right on his ass. Yeah, that sucks. Were you ever paddles? No. Yeah. But not by a priest. Not by priest.

Come on, give it to. Let's get some, let's get some viral moments. Okay. Who in your history, I know you had a bit of a habit of perhaps maybe falling asleep in the middle of the throes of passion. Am I wrong? We can cut this. No, no, no, no. And it wasn't an alcohol-induced thing.

But there was a time when I did fall asleep during sex. Maybe oral sex, too. But here's the deal. It was, what do you have that? I was on a, it was, I flew to Europe with this young lady, with this lady, she was actually my age, and it was jet lagged, you know, and I fell asleep, and then I was really embarrassed, and she told everybody. She thought it was so funny. Wow. And this person, if we knew the name, it'd be like. Go ahead, get, try to guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give us hints, 20 questions? Oh, I'm not good at these games.

A musician? No. Frank. Bank actress? No. Model? No. Why would you guys start there? Nobody?

Because it's hard to guess if we're random. Librarian. CVS pharmacy tech? Because we don't know them. No. Librarian. Yeah, you might. A teacher, school teacher.

No. Marshall, what do you got? Marshall? Uber driver. No, this was like the 80s. 90s. Taxi driver? Taxi driver.

No. What's something uniquely 90s? A neon clothesmaker. No. Someone from the producer of the show say by the bell. Let me say. No. She was famous.

She was famous, but she wasn't in the other. In fact, you know where this happened, Michael Jackson loaned us his suite at one of these hotels. What a life you've lived. You know, I didn't think I have, but I have now that I'm writing his book. I'm writing this book called, if you would have told me, because

now that's a good title for a book. Not like my shame. Instead of happy people are annoying. No, but I loved it. That was, by the way, like, you know, he says I beat up on him. There's no bigger fan of Josh Peck than me. There's nobody who pumps him up more. We have beautiful conversations. Yes, I'm older, maybe a little more established and you'd think that he would look to me, but I look to him for how to live life, how to treat people, how to be a good father,

how to be a good husband, and how to look sexy. But it's both ways. Not all of them. I come to you for a lot of advice. We have a really beautiful friend, an unlikely beautiful friendship. Like, who would have thought? Me? Yeah, the fat kid from Drake and Josh, you were like, that's going to be my bestie in 10 years. I never saw that show. But if you would have told me that the fat kid from Jerk and Josh did be my best thing. See, it all goes back to that. I mean, do you have, you must have those moments. Like, if you would have told me that you'd be, have your own Spritz society and be doing successful and working with the great Josh Peck, you'd have been like, no way, right? No way. It's actually so true. I've never even thought

about it like that. You're welcome. Yeah, did you watch Drake and Josh? Oh, yeah. I loved it. I loved it. What was your favorite catchphrase on there? Have mercy or one of those? No, I might have mercy. Hug a brother. It's pretty great. Yeah. hug me brother. Yeah, yeah, that was great. I'm getting PTSD, guys. So wait, so we're off topic. So you didn't guess who the girl was.

No, go ahead. I'm sorry. Oh, yes, I want to get. We'll run this through the whole thing. So this woman's very famous. Yeah, but wait, wait, wait, wait. So, well, we got off on something here. If you would have told me, we were talking about the book.

You said I had a life. I didn't, and since he wrote a book, and I remember when you were writing a book, I thought, like, I'm never going to write it. First, I'm not that interesting. I don't know really what to say. It seemed like the most, like just something I could never do, write a book. And those are things you want to do,

the things that you think you can never do, right? And then I kept getting offers, and then I kept saying no. And then I had a kid, and I thought, oh, fatherhood, and I started thinking about that quite a bit, and marriage and, you know, getting a second chance after, you know, being a fuck-up and confusing the universe for so long. And that's when Josh came around.

And then Bob died. And then I still said no, but I found this box of notes from my mom. It was so beautiful. I started thinking, blah, blah. And, you know, I'm getting older and so I thought, why not, you know, there's so many beautiful people that have come in and out of my life that I really want to

pay tribute to. Is this boring, guys? No. Speaking of beautiful people. Yes, my wife. You and a beautiful, the most beautiful. She is. But a substandard slightly beautiful adjacent person that you are now asleep in between their legs at a hotel Michael Jackson got you go. Well,

we didn't hold any babies out. There was no holding off the balcony or anything. But wait, so if you would have told me, so yes, so as I'm writing this. Did you do this like, oh my God, you know, I've done a lot of stuff? How famous was this person? That came up. There's another one that I haven't put, that it's not in the book, but I used to go on these car shows. Did they ever send you guys out for like, you know, to sign autographs and stuff? Yeah, I've done a couple Comic-Conn's and stuff. Yeah, well, this was before Comic-Con, but I would go to these car shows. I was on to our

hospital and you'd go and there'd be 10,000, 20,000 people show up. It'd be wrapped around the, you know, Detroit Auto, etc. or whatever. And they would send me and 12 playmates. Or me and Heather, one of the hot Heather Locklear, Heather Thomas, I was like, wow. So I was probably like 19 or so. Christy Brinkley? No, no.

I'm just going to keep guessing throughout your story. Keep it excited. Elle McPherson. No. Okay, keep going. You know who had an affair with her was Norm, McDonald. Do you know that? Norm McDonnell had an affair with El McPherson?

Yeah, I asked him about that all time. Just goes to show. And that's like the Pete Davidson effect, like funny works. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because it doesn't, you know, just by looks alone. No shade on Pete, but. Yeah, Pete.

What are we talking about? Are you still friends with him? Yeah, ish. I mean, I don't have his new number. He's fallen asleep on a lot of, I think, ladies. Are you going to say that here? Is that alleged? Do you know that for sure?

No, I don't know that. Because they're going to run with that. I don't know. So anyway, so I'm at this. This podcast is unhinged. So is that what it's called? It's wild. It's called unhinged.

It's called Unhinge? No. Oh. What are we doing the wife's pocket? That's what I thought this was. Next.

Your wife is... Yeah, she's great. Is it bigger? Bigger. Yeah, she's bigger. Yeah, she's bigger. Yeah. What is the person,

and the person didn't mind that you fell asleep in between their legs? They thought it was funny. She thought it was funny and then told everybody. So I'm at this car show

and I look across and they, Heather Locklear. And I'm like, Heather Locklear. You know, she was so, so, you know,

and so I'm just slobering over myself. And you would, You know, I'm telling you, it would be like, oh, wrong number. It's the girl. Oh, I got a funny, I know the story about losing my virginity. So I look across, and then a note gets passed to me, and it's from Heather. And she says, hey, do you want to meet up in the bar tonight after we do these things?

And you would go and sign, like I said, like 10,000, 20,000 people. And I'd come home with $10,000, $15,000 in cash. And I was still living in my parents' house. And I'd say, look up all the money I made dad. He's like, go clean up the dog shit in the backyard. You kept me level there for a while. But the note says, you want to meet later. So, yeah.

So I go, I get there early because I'm like, you know, nervous. And I start drinking like, you know, beers, whatever I drank back to light beer. And then, oh, I have a shot, you know, just to kind of loosen up. She comes. She's great, charming, funny. She goes, let's play at quarters, you know. And she was really famous. They started bringing over all these drinks.

Tequila. And she's like a, boom, perfect shot. And boom. And by the third one, I'm like, we even, you know, I'm not even. even hitting the table and I'm missing, you know. And so she goes, I'm in room 742. Come up and see me. I'm going to take a shower.

Okay. Wow. Great. The next thing I remember was the following day. Yeah. The people from the thing, I passed out, threw up all over my room, because I went to my room first, threw up all over my room, passed out, missed the whole night. And I don't think I ever talked to her again after that.

Really? Yeah. Talk to her. She's watching. here now. I just did. Sorry, Heather. You know, you got me drunk and I, yeah. I don't think I've ever told that story.

Great, clip it. Was it good? Click it all. It was good. I love Josh so much. Ben's similar story? You falling to sleep, pre-canoodle? No. No. How long have you been with your girl? 11 years. Wow, that's good. How long have you been married? Six. What's, no kids? Well, no, we're young. We're young. We're young. Wives 27?

I take your time. Yeah. We met at 20 and... He was going to be a dentist. He was studying at the yeshiva, a respectable man. It's good. I was. He's good. I was.

It's good. It's not great. It's in turns. If you would have told me. I wanted to be a dentist too for a minute. I thought about being a dentist. And then you looked in the mirror and you're like, not with this face. Was it because you like to?

No, I don't know why. I just thought it was cool. But I was not an attractive kid growing up. You were way better looking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll show you pictures, men. Don't do that. I'll show you pictures.

Hot people always do that. I was awkward. I'm like, you were six feet. What are you talking about you? I've never thought about that. Aren't you sick? You're not six feet? Yeah, I'm six feet.

But it doesn't, you don't look tall when you've also got to be a trip out. What was the moment? Yeah. What was the moment when like girls were screaming for you and stuff? Never. Come on, that's bullshit. That's not my thing. And girls got excited and people get excited.

Late, much, much later, like in my mid-20s, late 20s. Well, that's all right. But like for a second, I've never been that guy. I'm good, I'm good looking, yeah you have. I'm good looking at Jason. I remember you have, you have. You think it was just a confidence thing, because you have. I'm good looking like in a Tom Hanks way, like your cute neighbor.

No, you're a good looking guy. I introduce you to Tom Hanks. Love you. You're good looking guy. So are you. You guys stick a tongue out and one of them and suck it. Let's go. Come here.

Clip it. But wait, so, but what about when you're famous? Like all of a sudden you became, did you want to be famous growing up? Never. Really? There's a great Bill Murray, quote. Murray quote where he says, people usually want to be rich and famous, to which I would say, just try rich first and see if that doesn't solve most of your problems. Oh, that's interesting.

I wanted to be famous. I didn't care about money. I could see that. I loved it. I could see that for you. And then people go, oh, you don't want to take a picture. I'm like, you fuck yeah, man, I wanted to be famous. I'm happy to take a picture, autograph, whatever you need. I love people. I love, I feed off of all that. But when I was, I would have my best friend, Mike Owen, like, there was a show called Lucan and it was like Wolf Boy kind of thing. And I would, we would be at an amusement park and I would have him come up and ask me for my autograph and then people would say, oh, who's that guy? And then the girls would come up and sign.

I just sign fake autographs. First autograph I ever got, well, I can't talk about it. Great story. No, it was, it was, I went to, and I can't talk about it. Only because it's a big thing in the, oh. All right, well, we'll cut that. Really thanks for that charge. So when you became famous though, how did that, oh, you?

You didn't like it. I met my wife when I was 24. I remember meeting Paige for the first time I'm going like, why can't I meet a girl like her? I was so happy for you, but also not jealous is the wrong word, but like, I want that. I wanted that. How did he get that?

She's a great girl. Great girl. And her and my wife, friends, and that's beautiful. We're three lucky men here. Oh, yeah. Really? I mean, really are. The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Neutrafal.

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they're all like four years old and their parents. And let's be real here. In no world is there something where four-year-olds and people in their mid-30s can go and have a great time. Okay, somewhere in their early 30s. Sorry to my wife for saying that. But, you know, we all had a great time. The kids loved it because not only are they playing golf, which they love, but there's

like giant targets, loud music. Then the dads could get up and do a couple, you know, monster swings because they have something to prove. I don't know. I'm not that dad. But nevertheless, the kids love the giant TVs and the adults love the food. Right. And I'm going to give you a breakdown because, you know, I'm a thick boy.

I just love food. I love talking about it. We got the flat bread, which is beautiful. We had chips, dips. Oh, for dessert, we had these little donut holes where you can inject chocolate and or raspberry syrup. Crazy. The kids got tenders and fries, so they were covered. Literally, the food is so good.

We all could have fun. Nobody was compromising, and that's just so rare. Oh, and we didn't even go on Half Price Tuesday, because you know your boy loves a meal, because on Half Price Tuesday, we could have played twice as much. Can you imagine? So I just love Topgolf, and it must be said that Half Price Tuesday applies to gameplay only, and it's not offered at every venue and can't be doubled up with other offers or disc. Listen, just full details can be found at Topgolf.com slash Tuesday, but most importantly,

it's golf. It's not golf, it's top golf. Pro tip, download the app and book ahead of time to come play around on half price Tuesday or any other day. I used to sit with Bob, you know, and you knew Bob and we would just talk about wanting to meet, you know, the one, wanting to, and it was so great that we both, you know, did at one point. The last dinner I had with him was, you know, it was that. We were just saying, look at it how lucky we are. And it was such so interesting, Josh, because you knew him. He was so, he was everything that you wanted Bob to be. And, and he was so, he was everything that you wanted Bob to be at that moment. I don't know why.

I don't know the gods. I don't know what was going on. But he was calm. He listened. Didn't talk about himself too much. He didn't top. He didn't, you know, any joke you would say or anything you would say.

He used to kind of want to have the top. It was so deeply insecure. And I felt so awful when he got such love when he passed away and he had no idea, right? Josh, like he didn't know how. The problem was that he could never accept the love that he was getting because he was, maybe with you,

with the fat stuff, he was not, he saw himself as Chappelle and Tom Hanks and George Clooney and whoever. Yeah, the legends, crazy legends. He was never gonna get there. And I used to say, don't, you're too high, man, go reach back down here. Then if you get there, you're close and it feels right.

I think that's what you do. Did that ever lead to any kind of sort of fights between you guys or disagreements? Because that's a hard place to be in when you see your friend kind of dealing with that. Yeah, we didn't get, well, when we stood full house, you know, we hated each other. Why? Because he was a comic and he was coming in just, you know, there was another guy that was cast first that's a guy named John Posey, right? And his dad,

he's the dad of one of the kid Posey, so he was a popular kid on a vampire, um, Tyler Posey. Yes, that's, yeah, that's his son. Another handsome guy. Handsive guy. So he was on, and Jeff Franklin, the creative show, really good guy, he always had Bob and mine for this character. Wasn't it Paul Riser got the offer first? Maybe. I happen to have some full house facts. I did you? I did. Why?

No, no, you go first and then I'll hit you with a couple. I'm talking the whole time, man. No, it's good. So Bob, so it wasn't an initial... He wasn't, yeah, so when Bob became available, the poor guy Posey, Jeff, you know, we went with Bob and we reshot some of the stuff. It was pretty ballsy move of Jeff because the show,

the pilot had been picked up already and it tested through the roof. So I met with Jeff and they said, oh, there's the show, and the same guys who did bosom, buddies and you know and there's some kids in it but it's really three buddies a comic rock roll guy I think okay great I met with Jeff we got along we talked for like two hours at the mustache cafe and never once we talked about girls we talked about music we talked about Elvis we talked about girls we talked about girls that we dated we had to make sure we were curious that did we cross over was there a crossover yes Camel brothers it's called is that what

it's the same time that's same time isn't just no that's just if you have and he has look at these guys telling me about sex. You never expect that, right? You are? I am a sex expert. Yeah. You're looking at you. I'm an addict.

I don't know if you knew. Born? Yeah. Born guy. Yeah. Look at him. We're the face of J-Dade. That's great.

I'm G-date, the Greek. That's not funny. Wait, so we were talking about... So you and Jeff Franklin, Gross who dated. So we didn't... And I'm getting my car at the valet. And he said, what about the show?

You want to do this show? And I thought, okay, we didn't. There was no crossover girls. Yeah. do it. I got in the car left. We never talked about it. But it was supposed to be three guys, some girls maybe, you know. The kids weren't a big deal. And then I remember they were going through all this trouble cast. I was like, really detail oriented. They're really going through a lot of trouble casting these girls and they're just going to be in the background,

you know. And I did the reading of it. And I was coming in as this, I'd just come off at General Hospital and a couple other shows. I worked with Jack Klugman before that. And he was one of the great television actors of all time. Our audience is wild. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I know. And there was some of the best, well, I met these great comedy writers. And that's where I met Gary Marshall, Jerry Belson, Harvey Miller, these titans of sitcom, you know, comedy. And Jack would make me sit in the writer's room in the corner and listen and watch how they construct jokes and stories. Invaluble. And Gary was the one who suggested me for Full House, too.

You met Gary. Yeah, he produced grandfathered. Yeah. So, no, but I mean, we hung out with him. Didn't we sit the dressing room and go over a scene, made him show us that scene in Lost in America? Were you there? Yeah, he's, you know Gary Marshall? No.

He's like crazy genius, created like some of the biggest TV shows. Oh, Mark and Mindy. Love. Pretty woman. He discovered all these people. Crazy genius. And my funny Gary Marshall story is that I was sitting at a restaurant with my mother having lunch. And her being the great Jewish mother, she is.

Gary Marshall walks by and goes, Gary, you should know my son. He's famous too. And I'm like, I kill myself. And Gary was sweet tea, right? And he stands and goes, all right. So, we'll have lunch. And he's like, I'll get in touch with you. I'll remember your name.

And he did. He called my manager and was like, have him come for a meeting. And I came and he's like, I have nothing for you, but I'm glad we met. And I was like, God bless him. So he's so full house. So I do the table, we did the reading of, and I'll never forget. It was a Century City Hotel over there. And, you know, the thing starts.

And I'm coming in like the macha. Is that what it is? Big maher. Yeah. Mock maher. I'm gonna try to use as much as I can. And I'm starting to feel Spililkits, you know, like Spilbelkis?

Spilkis? What's that mean? Schvitzing? I was, no, I'm, polishing. What's when you walk in cool and you got everything, you know? Mach, right? Big mocker. Yeah, I was that, was that.

And, you know, hey, you know, all the kids' mothers knew me from the show, and I was the, you know, as weekend, we start doing. Jody Sweeten, who plays Stephanie on there, every line out of her mouth was the biggest laugh, blowing the roof off the place. And I'm like, they couldn't even hear my lines. They were laughing so hard at her thing.

Did you hate that? Ended the end. Thank you. I ran out to the lobby, grabbed a quarter because it was the phone, put the corner, called my manager and said, get me the fuck off this show. Yeah. It's a kid show. I don't want to have some nine-year-old upstaging me.

And we weren't a hit either. It took us, you know, we had to go on the summer. It was the whole thing. But it was Bob, Bob wanted to make, you know, he would just worry about making him laugh. Rort, it was. Marshall. Sorry, Marshall. He passed away.

He's asleep. He's asleep. Marshall fucking fell asleep, didn't he? It's all right. Stand up, Marshall. This podcast has had good moments, but there's been so sleepable moments. He's watching porn on that. He did.

Do you guys have a lock on it? Marshall's booking his Airbnb for Coachella. He passed away. Marshall. So that was Rickles. Marshall passed away, nobody told him. He would say, said the home called. So Bob wanted to make Marshall.

He wouldn't give a shit. He wouldn't put in, you know, Josh, even when we did the floor house. And it made me bat shit because it was very disruptive to my process which was let's make the scene as good as we can let's work on the story let's rehearse bits, let's do schick, whatever it is, let's make the show better.

He wanted to make Wiley the guy pulling the cable laugh and so we butted heads for a long time. But I knew he was a genius. I knew he was a guy and I love comedy and you do too, right? I love stand-up. I love the art of it. I love the craft of it,

the mathematics of it. Who are these people? Seinfeld love it all. And I knew. that Bob had that. And so it took me a while to tell him that he was so brilliant. But I was like, I gotta become, I just, just out of wanting to learn, I had to get closer to him.

And then I think our differences brought us closer together. Like I learned about comedy, a little more from him. And he, and he, because of him, I hung out with so many great comics over there. And then I think he, you know, learn how to act a little bit. Now this is Collider.com talking, not me. Okay. But we've got some full house, some interesting facts. Go ahead.

Did you try to get the Olson twins fired? I didn't, I did it. I didn't try. You got them. Okay, so here's the pilot, right? We're doing that scene, I don't know if there was a, Joey and I were changing the baby, right? And we didn't know, and Danny's gone and so, take care of the kids. Yeah, we got it, we got it, you know.

And we didn't. And so we're carrying the baby downstairs. And I think I was holding her in the armpits and Dave was holding her little feet, like I think. And we take her in the kitchen and we hosed her down and, you know, fan her, we put a fan on her. We wrapped her up in paper towels and stuck her. she was

both of them they wanted to be anywhere else but there and so did I right because they were 11 months old they were 11 months old and God bless them and they kept switching this one

this one's not gonna cry this one Mary Kate and Earl Ashley almost like kids shouldn't act yeah well almost like we should protect them from these things well they did okay

yeah and you know all our kids did pretty good off that show but it was you know it was I couldn't deal with it and I said this is not going to work guys and I screamed it and I said get rid of them

I can't work like this. It sounded like such a... But it was obvious because we had to loop everything. And so they got rid of them. They bring on these two red-headed kids. I'm sure their parents loved them and thought they were attractive.

Did they... Redheads are really hit or miss. They had nothing new with them being red-headed. Tell them you're red-haired. Redheads are really hit or miss. Either they're so stunning or you need to keep them in your closet. Like, you just can't show these kids. I'm sorry.

Like Marshall's a stunning redhead. Stunning. Stunning. Stant-up. Jackie Oshree, stunning. Stonday's back on the computer. Oh, you are redhead. Yeah, it had nothing to do with them, but you weren't on Full House for a day, were you?

Okay. It had nothing to the Redhead, but they weren't attractive. Did Olsons know that they were fired? They do now. Did they know at the time? Like when you, or was it just like, hey, you guys get a week off? It was only a few days. And I said, I said, bring the Olsons back.

These kids are terrible. But did they know? Well, they were 11 months. How do they know? No, but I mean, did the parents know that they had been released? I don't know. Wow, that's a crazy thing to hear. I mean, I think it was, you know, it was a day or something.

We tried the other kids. It didn't work. Wow. And now they own this building where we're talking, we're in. Yeah, they've done very well. But they, you know, they were so great. Did you say how to them when Bob died? No, because you put me in my head about it.

What did I do? Tell me. Is this another thing I've ruined your fucking life with? I mean, you know, when everybody, I listen to about three or four of these podcasts, you kissed their, everyone's asses up and down sideways for 20 minutes. Right, Marshall? I mean, 20 minutes, oh, you're so great, you're so good. Some internet girl with a, talking about ketamine or something, ketamine or something?

It's great. Listen, you should, God willing, your episode does as well as Tana. I don't need this. I'm doing okay. It's 50 years and a bit, whatever I've been. You know what I mean? No, this is good. Now you're in the bonket, John.

I mean, you need it. People to listen to it. If you're going to shit on me, make it really clippable. I'm not shitting on you, but my thing is like all these people heard the thing, 25 minutes, how great they are. John, I love you. what's her name the singer, how great she was, that you worked with. Lizzie McGuire. Hillary Dow.

Sorry, Hillary Dow. She was great. You guys, 20 minutes about, well, first of all, she's the greatest ever. She's my current boss. She's my current boss. She's beautiful. I love her. But you guys lather her up and then 20 minutes of Jew talk and then finally we got into something.

But I didn't get any of that. I'm ready to lather. There's some history. There's no history. Lather. What were we talking about? What was I attacking you about? What was I attacking you about?

What did you say? What was it? What was in Marshall? Oh, the Olsen Twits. Oh, but I get it. And you know what? My wife's to blame, too. So I'm going to attack two of my favorite people.

I mean, in the whackness, Mary Kate Olson's in the movie. Oh. I guess I could tell the story of me trying to ask Mary Kate Olson on a date. Did you? Yeah. What did she say? No. See, that Tommy?

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just grab your phone, go to Vroom.com and check out thousands of cars. So we make this movie together. She was awesome, so good in the movie, so proud of it, whatever. I hadn't seen her in 15 years. Unfortunately, I'm seeing her because, you know, the wonderful Bob had passed away.

So before you, then you should give me a break, right? Because it was not my best day. Go ahead. No, you gave this beautiful eulogy, made this beautiful video for him. And you were perfect. But the next day, not at the memorial. I'm like, it's crazy.

Chappelle's here, John Mayer. I don't have the star power to go up to them now. But at your house, that you had a lovely event at the next day for just kind of the friends and family, I'm like, this is the time. I'm like the fifth most famous person here. it works.

Yeah. You, who else was there? Mike Binder? Maybe you were number of twins? Or one. I was up. Top five for sure. Yeah, for sure.

Top five, you weren't three. Should I go talk to Mary King? Be like, so nice to see you. Remember this great movie? And my wife and John go, nah. What was that one was? You both were like, I wouldn't bother her. And I'm like, okay.

But don't you know, we were saving you from, you know. My dad used to say, he went up to somebody, Olivia De Havalon or somebody, like an old. Mamie Van Doren. Yeah. Yeah, someone like that before she lost your head. And he, you know, I'm a big fan and she blew him off. So that foul, never say hi to a celebrity.

Mary Kate, God bless her, would have, you would have walked away being disappointed. Only just in that moment because of everything going on. But also, you know, she probably would have said, oh, hey, okay, can you like, can you like, can you like, can you light my sig? And I just didn't want that. I think that's what we didn't want for you, right? Can you light my sig? Yeah, can you light my cigarette. What did I say, don't go, don't say hi to her?

Yeah, a little bit. But then didn't I go over it? agreed with you. Didn't I go over and say, hey, you guys were in the Wackness together. Yeah, and that was even worse. That part was worse. He's leaving that out. Because she went like, huh? And that's what she would have done? You would have done that by yourself. At least I was standing next to you. She's very good in it. Oh, you said you two were in the Wackness together? Yeah, he's not telling the whole stories. Oh, so it happened.

And she was like, eh. Oh, wait, he told the story in complete reverse. It's all he's got on me. I didn't understand. I love you, John. I love you and I think our friendship has never been stronger. Yes, we're great friends. We're pretty honest with each other. Yeah. How do we get you two really good friends?

It's happening. What's that? The two of us? Yeah, I see that for you too. It's happening. No, I see it. Do you have a plane? You have a plane?

He's close. I have multiple planes. No, seriously. No, I can get planes. You're meeting like a Peter Goober like in his infancy. So get in the ground level. How did you come up with the idea? Like you, was this missing from the marketplace?

Yeah. Tell me. So instead of looking at industry trends, we asked our audience, what are you looking for? What is there? On your podcast? On Instagram. I know. Boy with no job, grow with no job. We had like a couple million dollars.

You guys have a job now. Nothing crazy. Yeah, it's an ironic name. But we asked them. We're like, what's missing? They're like, you know, if you could make like a white claw but with wine that actually tasted great because we're big wine drinkers, that would be really awesome if you can make something taste great.

And we did. How do you go about that? You go like, let's go. Hire an R&D team, raise some money, go and bring in people there. smarter than you. That's good. Congratulations. I'm happy for you. Thank you very much. And do you have to go around like Clooney did and you know stuck? Yeah without being Clooney. It's a lot harder. Do you have any of that? Without Clooney's star power you got to work work really hard. The Beach Boys, you know how Mike Love has a new one coming out and it's pretty good. They made an alcoholic one for us.

When are they going to go up to be beach men? They're past that already. It's done. It's a beautiful special on the other Sunday night. What is their drink? Is it canned? It's called Coca-mojito is one. Shut up. That's a great name for it. I didn't make it up. That's the name of the brand or that's the... I think it's maybe club, club,

or something like that. Oh, Pokemon. Is there... Maybe you guys can do something together. They're just launching and they... We can do a co-brand. Have you ever... No.

You're not a jealous person in any way, but when you see people, and I know your boys are Clooney and like that, who have this, like, other endeavor that isn't acting, but it's tequila or some, like, enterprise. Has a part of you ever been, like, fuck, what's my tequila? What's my thing?

I'm not buddies with, I mean, I'm not, he's not my lawyer. Friendly. I know. I know. And he's a guy who I've always looked up to, too, because he did the same thing. You know, he, I remember being at a big Hollywood party once, and there's a microphone, and I walked in. So, okay, now the most handsome man in the party just showed, like he was one of those guys.

And he would, you would try him the fuck out of you, but for 30 seconds. Didn't you talk about beating Brad Pitt or something like that? Yeah, all those. But even when I got to meet Tom Hanks at your 52nd birthday with the great Neil Marin's house and Hanks is there. We're shooting grandfathered. And what I appreciated about him was I saw him clock, my wife and I and he's like, who are these civilians? He's outsiders that don't drink, you know, the baby blood. And he goes

up to Stamos and he said, who are those two? And you gave us a nice introduction. And knowing that he's Tom Hanks and people would naturally be a little intimidated to approach, he came over, knowing our names, ingratiated himself to us. And it was lovely. I saw that. Clinton had a guy, right? And as you're walking up, so-and-so he's got two kids and his wife's in the hospital. Hey, hi, your wife in the hospital. And I have to do that sometimes, too.

But I care about people. And so to Tom. I mean, that's, yeah, he comes at you. I have one more question and then we'll go. Five, ten? Five-ish. We haven't even covered anything. How long do you want?

I don't ever want to leave. Okay. I drove, you know, an hour a half to get here. Nine hours. It would have been fine. So you're going to get crazy ripped. You're going to take peptides. Maybe. I'm going to see someone about it. I want to check my body.

Dr. Craig Conover. Is there any famous guy hacks? I know you have the thing at your home that's like a sleeping bag that heats up and makes you skinny. You also have the crazy work. You told me yesterday on the phone. And then you also have the crazy workout gear that squeezes your muscles. You only have to work out 15 minutes. It doesn't squeeze you, but 20 minutes. It's an electric, you know, it's kind of like a. It works? Yeah. Well, hey, baby. No, honestly, it does, it 20 minutes. You can't work out longer than 20 minutes. And you're sore. Like imagine, here, imagine trying to do a bicep curl like this. Just do the motion of a... It's harder.

Yeah, it's harder. Yeah. It's not quite like that. Sorry, man. Have you ever had those 10s units? Have you ever the tens units, you know, where you, if you went to the carpenter and you got hers? Yes, yes. That's what does the whole body.

Have you tried? You haven't tried it yet. It's really great. But I'm going to have to kick all that up. I'm going to work out more. Why don't you come over and work out with me? I'll do that. And also, I want to get my eyes done because you had mentioned to me when I said, I want to get my eyes done, you were like, listen,

I won't say who. Who? You told me names. You were like, there are very famous men in this business, leading actors, movie stars. We just talked about one of them, and he's talked about it. Oh, he talked about it? It's Clutty. No, that's not who I fell asleep.

No, no, no, no. I mean, cut that out. It's not Clooney. No, no, no, no. No, he talked about it because he said his niece or someone came up to him and said, you don't look like a movie star because you have bags in your eyes, and he got him taken care of. He did? He talked about it?

Yeah. What a weight off my shoulder. Marshall, Google it. You're not that, they're really not that, like, I know they bought it. But, but you didn't do it. No, I'm working. I got, I need to. No, you don't need to.

Bobby Lee came on the pod and he sat there and said, you look fucking crazy. He's like, the backs under your eyes. That guy pulls his dick out and chance he gets, and you're crazy. Should we get to the What are you nuts moment? Yeah, but what do they do? How do they replace it? Like, is it? No, replace it.

You don't think so? It's a little cut, cut, and then they hide the stars. You don't think they just like take other skin and move it? Like, how else do you change the color? What are you talking about? Underwise, yeah, under-hye. That's what you're talking about. Unlike absolutely, everyone else in Hollywood

who denies or evades the question, Clooney has disclosed to the press that he has had his lower and upper eyelid done. Do you think he found his guy where I found my guy, Groupon? Don't go the, Josh, I'm getting my eyes done. Where are I, I'll come, are you okay? Yeah, I'm at the car wash on the,

I shouldn't have had my eyes done at the bowling alley. I can't say, John. John, are you ready for the what-a-nuts moment of the week? Don't get your eyes done at the car wash. That's all I'm saying. That would be nuts. Do you know what our Woody-Nuts moment of the week is? What-ya-Nuts hanging out the window?

It's Ben, do you want to... It's a buddy-nuts. No. Ben's looking to me like... No, I was going to say before, because you were talking... You were talking about getting your eyes done at the car wash. I got my nose done. You did?

You did? Yeah. No. Can tell. Yes. Seriously? You don't know. He's being rude.

I know a guy that only goes to Costa Rica to get his teeth done. Isn't that interesting? cheaper there? It's cheaper. Much cheaper. Medical tourism. I'm telling you, I was growing out of the caterpillar into the butterfly

and the last thing was, I was on general hospital. I was driving me crazy. And you got a no shop of rhinoplasty? Is that what it's called? You did? Here's another. These publishers, I hope they're not listening

because I'm giving away books. Talk about pre-ordering books. Why is that so important? Demand. What's that? Create demand. Yeah, no. I mean, there's not so much demand.

They make it enough. It's because you need to sell at least 10,000, to get on the New York Times bestsellers list. Not that I would know. You sold more than that. What happened with you? Remember, they fucked you on that one.

It's very subjective. Your book was beautiful. And I love the tone of it. It was like, we're not supposed to be happy every fucking like Marshall all the time. We're supposed to. Sometimes we don't feel happy, we're not happy, right?

What's your, give the link to pre-order? Where do you do you pre-order? You're partnering with a bookshop or do you? Well, it said all the, all the things, right? Amazon and it's on Amazon right now. But who pre-oh? People, People pre-order.

But why? I mean, why it's not going to be not? Because then you ensure that you're going to get on the list. I was going to say, or, no, but maybe it's for the customer. Maybe they think it's going to sell out. I get that, I get like a month before or so. But the book doesn't come out until October. What were we saying?

I was going to tell you something about the tidbit in there. We were talking about nose jobs? No jobs. You were driving home, rhinoplasty, general hospital. I had it done once, wasn't great. Went to another guy, Michael Jackson's guy. I said, look, if he did, he could rebuild a whole face, he could fix my tip, right? He didn't do, I mean.

Well, it got worse. Never quite, yeah. Michael Jackson called me. You know, I bought this, when eBay came out, it was the first, you know, it was right when eBay came out. And the first auction was this Disney auction. I collect Disney stuff, Ben, because it's worth a lot of money. And do you know the story? I think so.

And I bought this song, I, I, it was, but the sign was supposed to go for a million dollars. The sign that out in front of Disney Island is Disney. From what, the 60? The original. sign. It's the second one, but it's still... Yeah, each letters. Well, I... Where do you keep it? I was getting... I forgot about... I put the first bid in,

like $31,000, I think. And then I forgot about it. Then it was like two weeks. I said, I want to go check. Oh, shit, I'm the winner. I'm the stopper. I kept refreshing, refreshing. I was in the office in Burbank. And I called my business, I said, I think when I win this sign, how big is it? It's 14 by 8. Oh, 14 inches by...

14. Each letter. 14 feet by 8 feet. Had to get a crane and everything. I said, well, I can't win. When Michael Jackson won. It was supposed to go for millions of dollars. Refreshment. We are the winner.

Oh shit. What do I do now? But I have it. It's cool. But Michael Jackson called me and left the message. I was at, I was on ER. And I think it was during some of the,

some of the Dalai Lama stuff that he was doing. Are we ready for a what are you nuts moment of the week? Something in your day that makes you say, what are you nuts? I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. I went on a little bit of a health kick, tried to, went to the store,

got some organic strawberry. was thinking about making a smoothie. Then I go and I checked my phone. I saw on the news that all organic strawberries from Costco where I shop now have hepatitis A in them. And so, what are you nuts? Even our fruit is not protected. That's a bad example.

Marshall, these guys are talented. They don't need gimmicks, right? Like this, what are you nuts? The games and stuff. No, people love it. It's good. It was so good up to it. It's good.

I mean, it was honest and real, and now we're like doing. You don't like it? I'm kidding. We're dying to close this thing. It's the only time of it. Dear Media is about to kick us. We're going to lose our lease here.

Dear meeting, here's my Woody and Nets moment of the week. You know what I rail against me? This phrase, you might not know this about me. Whatever, someone says that, nothing good's coming. It's never, you might not know about this about me, but I like to give away free money. Never. It's always, you might not know this about me, but I'm an Aquarius. Who gives a shit?

Not me. You may not know, we don't want to know. Yeah, dummy. There's a reason I don't know. So that's my Woody and Nets. Staying on that theme, what are you nuts. People have overused, it is what it is. It is what, I don't know.

Great one, John. Thank you. I see, I make fun of the game and then I come through, Marshall. Marshall's hiding. Is the end of the desk? Marshall, get some candy. We'll get them out. Thank you, John.

You want a cookie, Marshall? We love you. I love you, I love you, Josh. Pre-order John's book. We finally made up. Stop it. And Ben, I'm happy to meet you. Happy to meet you, too.

Happy for your success. And I'm going to look for the Spritz Society. I'm happy. If you guys don't make non-alcoholic? Not yet, but if we do, you know, I'll let you know. Not yet. Well, the beach boys are doing one specifically for me, non-alcoholic and Josh. It's called Josh and John.

And what happened to Drake? Is he okay? I mean, should we call him? Really? Are we done? It's good. All right. Paul Abdul!

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