Good Guys - Phil Rosenthal Has No Interest In Erewhon Smoothies
Episode Date: July 15, 2024Hollywood legend Phil Rosenthal is here discussing everything from his misadventures finding the Dear Media studio to the best hotel and restaurants in Philly. They dive into hilarious anecdotes from ...the "Everybody Loves Raymond" set, including how they kept it kid-friendly without losing the edge. Phil shares charming stories about his Jewish parents, the joys of movie nights and dinner parties, and the unexpected perks of being a successful writer. Turns out.... even the Erewhon smoothie is overrated to Phil! What are ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Sponsors: DrinkAG1.com/goodguys for a free 1 year supply of vitamin D and 5 free travel packs Ro.co/good - Sign up today and you’ll pay just $99 for your first month — and $145 a month after that Joinbilt.com/goodguys to start earning points with your rent payments today Hero Bread is offering a special 10% off your first order on their new recipe with the code GOODGUYS24 at Hero.co Keep commerce human. Discover small businesses on Etsy! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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The following podcast is a dear media production.
I'm Josh Peck.
And I'm Ben Sauffer.
And we're the good guys.
There's a lot of guys out there.
And we're the good ones.
Mazumorons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.
I am here with the second most Jewish of Jews that I've ever met, Ben Soffer.
Yes.
And the most juieous of Jews, Phil Rosenthal.
Wait, first of all, that's quite an assumption.
Pretty presumptuous.
I did happen to our...
I watched somebody feeding Phil and that's not the name.
That's not the name.
Somebody feed Phil.
You're like my parents.
I haven't written.
Somebody feed Phil.
Who's feeding him?
No, ma.
I know.
My mother does the same thing.
Your son, Matt, it's Max, mom.
He's your grandson.
Damn it.
Somebody feed Phil where you were the only Jew in Mumbai.
So I apologize for taking liberties saying you were Jew.
That said, we have the great Phil Rosenthal, writer,
producer, creator of America's favorite sitcom, everybody loves Raymond, my personal favorite.
I just have to say that I think Josh and I were Frank and Marie. Josh, I don't know who is Frank
and who is Marie, but Josh and I are Frank and Marie. Also the creator of somebody feed Phil,
into its seventh season on Netflix and the book, Somebody Feed Phil. Sold wherever you get your
books. Phil, how was that? That was pretty good, actually. At first I was very angry. Yeah. And now
Well, first of all, I was angry because I got directions to the studio, but there was no, like, SL means sky lobby.
So I don't know where I'm going.
So I'm walking around asking the P.
They have to label things.
It's bad for old Jewish people.
Yell at Marshall.
No, not just old Jews.
Gentiles get lost.
They do?
It's hot.
Yeah, it's all over the Jewish group chat.
You know, if you leave us alone, we were one to 40 years in the desert.
The idea of a sky lobby is completely nuts.
I like it in a hotel.
Yes.
Have you been to the hotel in Philadelphia of Four Seasons?
Have you been, you go to Philly ever?
I love Philly.
The nicest hotel in America right now, and I'm not saying this so that they'll give me a free room,
although that wouldn't be a terrible idea of Four Seasons.
Yes.
That Four Seasons, Philadelphia, is nicer than any hotel in New York.
See more.
You go in ground level and you take an elevator up to the 60th floor.
I believe glass and all of Philly appears below you as you're gliding up.
It opens up and there's like such a flower display that you think you, oh, I guess I am in
heaven now.
And then the rooms are gorgeous and they have food right there and you're right in the middle
of every, I love that hotel.
Bill, let me ask you.
I love a hotel.
The Stoics, you know, Marcus Aurelius, you're familiar.
He said that once a year a man should lie in his dog's bed.
to remember what it was once like.
Will you ever sleep at a Marriott courtyard where I go when I'm on a trip?
Or somewhere that's not the Four Seasons, just to remind you.
Let me just say this to Mr. Oralius.
I lied in the dog's bed for the first 30 years of my life.
Fair.
I'm now sleeping at the Four Seasons, Philadelphia.
I earned it.
I'm old, and I'm going to be comfortable.
I'm going to lie down when I fly.
Of that. You're speaking Ben's language, right, Ben?
The only way. And I have been to that Four Seasons Philadelphia. And it is as described,
as advertised, truly stupendous. What the hell is it doing in Philadelphia? I have no idea.
Don't not, don't not Philly because I love Philly too. Philly's one of the great food cities
now in America. So you love Philly, but you're from New York. We discussed this. Did you root for
the Knicks or did you root for the Sixers? Oh, the Knicks, of course. Okay, just making sure.
No, no, no. I could like, don't let sports spoil everything.
Yeah.
I love everywhere.
I love, you can get a great meal now anywhere.
Where's the best restaurant in Philly right now?
Michael Salaman.
Ah, Sahav is pretty phenomenal.
Fioralla from my friend Mark Vettri is pretty phenomenal.
Pizza Bedea is pretty phenomenal.
Watch the Philly episode of our show.
Yes.
A ton of delicious.
Everybody should watch it and I would watch it.
It couldn't be more fun, Philly.
I love Philly too.
Yes.
Have you had Little Nonas?
The Italian restaurant in Philly?
Nope.
It's good.
You love that one.
I love that.
I just love the word Nona.
Because it's your Nona.
I'd say the Jews and the Italians.
We have good grandma names, right?
Like Bubby, Zady, Nona.
They have better food.
They got the Italian type of better food.
Let's ask a non-Jew.
Marshall, feel free to offend two different ethnic groups here.
And he's a vegan.
You know, you take it with a great as all.
I will.
But a half Mexican.
And I feel like that kind of prompts it all.
Oh, your favorite food is Mexican?
Right, right?
I love Mexican.
Oh.
Yeah, I think there's a James Beard winning Mexican restaurant in Philly, too.
Hold on.
It was in the show.
I can't remember everything.
I'm sure it was good.
Did you go to Alabama in the show?
No, but we did the Mississippi Delta.
Because they weirdly have a lot of James Beard award winners in Birmingham.
I went there, and I was shocked.
And was it great?
Delicious.
I can't remember the single name of a restaurant.
Same.
The jeans beards were great.
Same with Memphis driving down to Mississippi Delta.
Unbelievable food.
It's a nice world.
Let's talk.
We forget that sometimes.
We do.
And let's talk about, I'm going to do this a few times throughout the pod because we have
three utter insane foodies here.
Let's talk about, let's break down our ultimate bread baskets.
Because Ben and I have broken it down before.
I assume you, you love a bread basket.
You say no to carbs?
Oh, God.
I don't say no to anything.
Have you been to Vegas?
And been to Joel Rubashon, the fancy.
Just say more.
Say it all.
Okay.
So they bring a bread basket.
That's a bread bus.
It's an incredible wheeled thing.
Yes.
Giant, you know, like a portable bar.
But on the bar instead of bottles, every bread in the world take as much as much.
And give us some of the highlight breads.
What are the marquee breads?
I don't know.
There's stuff made with fresh, like tomato.
infused in the dough, there's stuff with onions, there's stuff with long baguettes, there's stuff,
you want to taste it all.
Yes, every bread that you can almost imagine.
And then you have the spectacular, you know, it's a spectacular tasting menu.
This is really a once-in-a-lifetime meal.
And then at the end, they bring over another cart, the same size as the bread cart, of desserts.
Remember when you were a kid, you went to bar mitzvahs and they brought out the Viennese table?
Sure.
Right?
this is like that.
And there are little paper bags,
little, like from a fine bakery
in on the cart.
What's this for?
Take home whatever you like.
Stuff these bags and bring them home.
Oh, please.
Ben's having an Osepic
Tricus right now.
Take it home.
Unbelievable.
What do you do with it on the plane?
I would bring it on the plane.
Do what you want.
It's going to be best right there
because it's all fresh and beautiful, right?
But whatever you want to take it, they're like, listen, it's not a cheap place.
I love a to go moment.
I love when they say, this is for the car, because I'm sick.
I'll be full to the gills, but I'll see.
This is why I can't take food to go.
Because what happens is on the drive home.
We live in California.
It could be a 40-minute drive home.
My hand is reaching in the passenger.
Aren't you full after dinner or you do it anyway?
But it's there.
I understand.
I just, and I'm listening to a podcast.
I'm having the time of my life.
11 Madison Park in New York.
This is a very high end.
Very.
I went there.
At the end of the meal, they said,
forgive us.
We know you.
Oh, we made this for you.
And they come out with a little jar.
And on the jar is a hand-drawn picture of my dog.
Oh, my God.
And it says the daily Murray on it,
which is something I post every day,
a picture of Murray.
my dog, who I love more than life, and in the jar are their homemade dog treats for me to bring
Murray.
Wow.
And I died.
I said, this is the ultimate hospitality thing, tiny bit creepy that they do such research into
your life.
Not so tiny.
Pretty creepy.
But when you, it's not like they, medium creepy.
It'd be worse.
If I wasn't posting pictures on the internet of my dog, right?
Yeah, yeah.
It's a drone shot.
On Instagram.
It's a drone shot of your dog from your background.
No, this is from Instagram.
What kind of dog?
He's a Great Pyrenees mix, and he's a little crazy, so I always say he's half Great Pyrenees,
half psychopath.
Beautiful.
Wow.
But I love him.
That kind of, I've never received that at the Cheesecake Factory.
Forgive the factory, but they've never made any mention of my dog.
This is a hotel thing now, too.
In some hotels actually around the world, you will walk into your room, and they have
taken photos from the internet, from your Instagram, printed them and framed them. So you walk
in and there's pictures of your family. And I have to say, it's slightly off putting as if, is there
a ransom note with this photograph? That's what I'm thinking. Like, is there a dollar amount?
Yeah, right. Yes. But it's, they want it to be only nice and welcoming and for you to be blown
away that they went to such an extent. But how can you not also feel, how did you get that
picture. This is my personal, but it can't be that personal because I posted it. Right. It's good to know.
Yeah, I'm glad my wife doesn't post any like boudoir photos on Instagram. All of a sudden, I'm looking at
her and some sort of negligee. People do. Yeah, no, listen. Listen, don't put anything out there.
You don't want to come back to you in some way, whether it's a stupid comment on Twitter or a photo
that, you know, you don't want to last forever because it will last forever.
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Have you heard Jimmy Carr, the great comedian, his brilliant sort of
take on on his own cancellation that is inevitable, he says. And then what his reaction will be. Yeah,
go ahead. He said, I've already made the joke that will cancel me. I made it 10 years ago.
And it got a laugh and no one remembered it. And they'll dig it up when it's appropriate. And they
will take offense to something I said that worked 10 years ago but doesn't work today. And then he said,
and when I am canceled, I will come out and say, I'm sorry. And they will go.
you're clearly not serious.
He goes, you mean to tell me
that I'm capable of saying something I don't mean.
Now you've got it.
Bingo.
A very good strategy.
It's pretty good.
Bingo.
Listen, I don't know if you've ever worked
in a writer's room
that we say things in the writer's room
that are so purposefully offensive.
Yes.
The joke is that these are things
you should never say.
That's how I'm going to make
a season comedy writer laugh.
Yes.
Because we've all heard.
regular jokes. What if we talked about something holy to you like your children and
unspeakable things involving them? Yes. Anyone would cancel us. I could cancel for saying
this as like this is what we do. But it's none of your business. This is a controlled
environment. This is this is private conversations. Everyone's there willingly. Absolutely.
Right. And you know, I'm only thinking of this because there was that friend's lawsuit where
writer's assistant took offense and something that was said. I'm sorry, we're going to say
everything in that room to warm up the car. Yes. To get in the mindset of laughing. I would imagine
as a brilliant comedy writer, Raymond is one of those rare shows that did live 10, 20 years ago,
and yet, I'm sure they could do it today. You could do it today, right? You wouldn't feel.
They didn't want it when we went on, and they certainly didn't want it when we went off.
Why is that?
They want a hip and edgy.
Speaking of friends, they thought that friends was the new thing.
This is what we go for.
Friends is the exception to the rule that God doesn't give with both hands.
The cute, funny, adorable people, they were blessed that got cast with also being charming and funny.
Right.
Most of the time the people look like me and Ray Romano.
Right.
All of us, really.
Except Marshall, who's a smoke show.
I'm going to get cancer for that.
I'm harassing my producers.
Sorry, Marshall.
We don't go to Playboy Centerfold for our jokes.
Yes.
Okay.
The cast of Friends was gorgeous.
Right.
And the network's thought, this is what we go for now.
Just cast pretty people.
Because they don't know what's funny.
If they know what was funny, it'd be a home run every time.
They don't know.
That's the intangible is funny.
Good looking is, you know, objectively.
You can see.
This person is good looking.
Beautiful.
Sexy.
trust Ryan Reynolds, and we promote Mint Mobile here.
But it's true, though, to an extent, I'm like, how are you so handsome and funny?
How can this be?
Handsome plus funny equals Ryan Reynolds equals movie star.
This happens not often.
No.
So when Raymond was done, I had another sitcom ready to go, yeah, they told me the business
change now.
We'd just be, we need you to be more hip and edgy, hip and edgy.
And I said, well, you got the right guy.
I'm Mr. Hip and Edgey.
I mean, that's incredible because like Ben is 31.
Two.
32.
I'm 37.
So in theory, not necessarily the core demo for Raymond when it was on.
And yet, we love the show.
No, thanks.
I mean, love.
Grew up on it.
I'm so happy.
Yeah, fantastic.
Loved it.
And all these things I'm saying about saying the horrible thing that you can't say outside.
Yes, none of that was in the show.
It was a show intentionally made for people with.
kids and people with parents. So hopefully you could watch it with your children and you can watch
it with your older parents and no one would be offended. And that was actually a bit of a challenge
that we accepted and liked. How do we do it without saying naughty words? How do we do it so that
we don't offend? And if there is a suggestive line, it goes over the heads of children.
For example, we had a sculpture on the show. I don't know if you remember this. Marie's sculpture.
She makes a sculpture, it looks like, a part of the female anatomy.
We never said the word, which you were allowed to say.
Sure.
Maybe not the absolute vulgar word for it, but the, certainly the physical word.
Yes.
Whatever it was.
You could say it.
We didn't want to say it.
We thought it's better not to say it.
We wanted you to get it by the looks between the people.
It may be a whisper in the ear and then the way their eyes suddenly widened when they
realized what they were looking at and the audience was on board.
It was so much better.
It's so funny you say that because I recently realized what a child I am when I had to take my five-year-old son Max to the doctor for his yearly physical.
Yes.
And he's gotten to the age where the doctor talks pretty directly and uses the clinical terms.
Clinical, that's the word I was looking for.
For private.
Yes.
And I was like, you know.
Laughing.
Well, that's what I would do.
I want to do.
And I also was like, you know, she was like,
Listen, I'm your doctor.
Your dad is here.
Do you feel okay?
I do need to look at your...
It's going to be like the episode.
I'm not going to say it.
Okay.
But I do need to look at your.
Is that okay with you?
And a parent should always be here when that happens and I'm your doctor.
And I wanted to be like...
And she said the word and I wanted to be like, Max, you're woo-woo.
Great.
Great.
Right.
Like your posto, which is Greek for that, which I don't know.
My wife had somehow used.
She's Irish.
But like, I don't know.
Used the Greek word?
She picked it up.
But like, I'm like, is it okay if she looks at your post?
And he knew.
He's like, Dad, why are you so emotionally arrested?
Hilarious.
They're more mature than us.
Yeah.
I have to tell you a funny, because I just thought of this.
That show with the sculpture came from one of our writers.
She comes in, she goes, and we're bullshitting in the room.
We don't want to work.
So we always, you were just talking about stuff that happened to us.
And it turns out that 90% of the time, that's a show.
Yes.
she goes, my mother made me a sculpture in her sculpture class, and I can't have it in my house.
I'm like, no, she says, because it looks like a part of the female anatomy.
I'm like, really?
She goes, I don't know what to do.
I said, I don't know what to do.
Let's write that show.
There's a show in that thing.
So, but it's a, she, her mother made her a little one.
I said, for TV, it should be a big one.
And I knew where my parents live in Rockley County, New York, in front of the courthouse,
there's a statue, a big statue
that the whole town thinks looks like this.
So I call my parents
because I want to get a photo of this
to show the prop department
because we're going to build a replica of this thing.
And I call them and they're eating
and you can hear the plates clinking
the knives and forks on the thing
they're having dinner.
And my mother answers to phone.
Hi, Philip.
I said, hi.
Hey, listen, could Dad go down to the courthouse tomorrow
and take a picture of the marble vagina?
Of the sculpture?
And she says,
Of course. Max, go down in the courthouse tomorrow.
Philip needs you to take a picture of the vagina sculpture.
And there's a long pause.
And my father says, the what?
And she says, the vagina sculpture, Max, at the courthouse, the vagina sculpture.
And he says, there's a vagina sculpture at the courthouse.
And she says, yes, Max, the vagina sculpture, the vagina sculpture, Max.
Everybody calls it the vagina sculpture.
Can't you see that that's a vagina, Max?
And my father goes, what do I know from vaginas?
God bless them.
And they took a picture and that's in the show.
They made that in the show.
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You know, the three of us are blessed to have these incredible, you know, Jewish parents.
May their memory be a blessing, Philip.
Like, and we all have these stories and this shared experience.
Can we like, I have one ready to go.
But can we all tell a story of our, like a great, always helps if it's embarrassing story of our Jewish parents?
Of course.
Go ahead.
All right.
This is one of my favorites from my mother bomber.
So, and it includes food.
So it's perfect for us.
So I go to meet my mother at Dantana's restaurant.
Yep.
Famous institution in L.A., old school Italian restaurant in West Hollywood.
And I'm going there to meet.
And of course, we're going to meet at 6 o'clock.
So she got there at 5.11.
So she's camped out there.
And I walk in, and it's kind of dark.
And it's early.
So there's not a lot of people there.
But there's a lovely looking man in his son there,
taking his son for an early dinner at Dananis.
And then I look a little more closely.
And I see that that man is rising.
And then I see he's talking to someone.
And all I hear is,
ha ha, you crack me up, Ryan.
And I turn the corner and it's my mother.
Wow.
And now I see that not only is my mother talking to Ryan
Philippi, but as I walk in, I hear my mother say, and I quote,
Oh, there's my son.
You know him, he's famous too.
Oh my God.
Ryan.
Oh my God.
You know my son he's famous too.
Yes.
And I go, Ryan, it's nice.
to see you. He goes, have we met before? I said, no, I'd remember. And I left him to eat with his
dinner with his beautiful son and he was very cordial. But yeah, that's one of my, it's one of my favorite
Barb stories. That's awesome. Barb is so good. She's so good. She's still with us. She is nice.
Thank God. Mostly. Nice. Thank God.
Phil, my dad owns a catering company.
Ah, we're surrounded by food. He's a Jewish kosher caterer. So,
Most people, you know, they get, I don't know, their parents drop something at their door.
Maybe it's a card.
Maybe it's flowers.
Maybe parents love dropping socks.
My dad loves to drop random food at random hours.
I get a call last night.
Ben, I just left your house.
I dropped you a quart of vodka sauce.
I said, Dad, thank you so much.
I took the vodka sauce, whipped up some pasta, 9 p.m.
That's a typical day with my dad.
That's lovely.
There's a cord of homemade fathers.
Benjamin, the doorman is holding some arbiter.
But that's very nice.
That's not embarrassing in any way.
That's a beautiful thing.
No, no, not embarrassing.
Just beautiful.
We could spend three more hours on stories.
My dad is a character.
He's funny.
If you've seen somebody feed Phil the first four or five seasons,
he's there.
And we Skype with them and that they were great.
But he was also one of Frank Barone's friends at the lodge in Raymond.
Not only my dad, but Ray's dad.
And we put them together in scenes because we figured they deserve each other these two.
Yeah.
So we're doing a show where Ray is feeling he doesn't know what he's getting older he feels
and he doesn't fit in anymore with doing things with.
his friend. He just doesn't know where to belong. And so he joins his father's lodge. And the joke is that he's
getting older by hanging out with these old men, including in the sauna. And the joke is that they
start complaining about their aches and pains. And Ray starts also saying, yeah, I have something,
you know, on my back and this and that. Okay. So the end of the scene, you want to joke,
and we do it and doesn't go great.
So now we huddle a little bit for take two.
This is in front of the studio audience.
They're sitting there waiting for take two.
What should we do?
What should we do?
And my father, I'm with the writers over by the monitors.
And my father, by the way, all the men in the scene are just wearing a towel.
Sure.
Okay, with at the waist.
And this is typical for a sitcom to punch up jokes.
Of course.
If they're not working on the day.
Something doesn't work.
Or even if it does work, we might go,
do we have an alternate for that now?
Maybe we can even top it.
Gotcha.
So the joke was fine, but we're like, we need to blow the last line of the scene.
We want it to be a bigger laugh.
So we're greedy and we start pitching.
All of a sudden, my father taps me on the shoulder.
First of all, what are you doing here?
He should be in the set.
Yeah.
We're at the monitors.
I'm working.
What, Dad?
What is it?
I thought something's wrong.
He goes, I think I should have the last line.
I said, really.
You know, the name of the show is not everybody loves Max.
go back over there.
He goes, all right.
And he goes back over there.
We start pitching and we give a line to, I guess it was Peter Boyle.
We give him the line.
And take two actually did a little worse than the first take.
Yeah.
So now we're really kind of in it.
We want to really, it's a, you know, it's a challenge.
We want to top this.
And we're struggling, struggling.
And I look over and my father's in the corner.
He's looking at me like, I'm right here.
Right.
I'm right here.
And I'm like, oh, so I'm married him.
He has no respect for what I do and how serious this is.
He thinks he'd like to have a joke.
So he just tells his son, who happens to have a television show and puts him in it.
Well, he's been sitting there all day, Phil.
He hasn't been sitting there that long.
In fact, most of the times it's at craft service.
Fair.
So we're that.
And Aaron Schor says, I think I have a line.
But I said, yeah, what's a but?
He goes, I think it should be for your father.
I said, well, we're not giving it to him.
Because that would mean he was right.
And we can't have that.
Yes.
and we struggle some more.
And then I say to Aaron, what was that line?
And he tells me the line.
And I go, God damn it.
And I walk over to my father and he says, yes.
I said, all right, here's the line.
I'm going to give it to you.
Okay.
And we go in and here it is.
Ray says, complaining, you know, I got up three times last night to pee.
And my father says, at least you got up.
That's great.
And he killed him.
It's so good.
And I said, that was very good, dad.
And he goes, yep, told you.
And I wanted to kill him.
Of course.
But he was brilliant.
He had such a way.
My mother went on a date in 1954 to a little restaurant in New Jersey that was having
amateur night.
She went with another fella.
She went with a guy.
And they had musicians.
And they had one kid from the garment center who was a tailor with his father.
who worked as a tailor for his father,
get up and tell old Jewish jokes,
because that's what this kid liked to do.
And my mother said,
I think I like that guy.
Love it.
So if my dad is not funny,
on that night, I'm not here.
Crazy.
So I owe it all to his scent of humor.
So whatever he wants.
Similarly, my grandmother,
May Schwartzman,
always would tell me as a kid
that she almost married.
married a major in the military, but then fell in love with Jack Peckerman, my grandfather,
who similarly worked in the Schmata business, the old house dress business, smoked 10 cigars a day,
ate, and was an incredible financial debt.
And she always said, I wish I had picked the major.
And I said, Grandma, I'm eight.
Yes.
This does not feel appropriate.
You know, the grand job.
And if you pick the major, I'm not here.
Yeah.
That's right.
Ben, should we, I've been begging to ask everyone, and Marshall, please chime in on this
because Marshall's a, I imagine, you like a smoothie, Marshall?
Love a smoothie.
Of course he loves a smoothie.
We're American.
So Ben had just mentioned that he had just sucked down a smoothie 30 seconds before we started
recording, as we know, the great Haley Bieber.
She has her smoothie at Arrow 1.
How much is it?
I think it's like 17, 18 bucks.
Insane.
What's in this thing?
Smooth.
Gold?
What's in it?
No, it lines, main, Ashwaganda, anything that you can think is a crock of shit they're
putting into this Airwant smoothie.
Let me ask you.
For the upcharge.
Let me see that.
Let me ask this because I have never tried it.
I don't think I've ever set foot in an Air One.
Really?
Lived here since 1989.
You really get their hot bar is excellent.
You'll have to take out a PPP loan.
I get it.
Excellent.
Do you know that Air One is just nowhere backwards?
That I got immediately.
Yes.
How terrible is that?
I hate it.
But listen.
Here's my question.
Number one, does the smoothie taste good?
I've heard it is quite good.
You haven't had it?
But I've heard it.
Because you don't have that kind of money.
Never.
How about you?
It's rather milky.
It tastes pretty milky.
I think they overdo it on the milk to try to mask the all of the random, the chia seeds, the aschaganda,
the Lions made.
It kind of tastes strawberry milky.
Okay.
It's not bad.
It's not great.
I would put up with that nonsense.
if I felt something.
Like, do you feel demonstratively better?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Not even if you used it for a while,
you don't feel suddenly your hair and skin are glowing.
No, no, no, you're not having it.
You don't wake up in the morning and you look in the mirror
and you're Hallie Bieber?
Yeah, that would be.
I'd settle for Justin Bieber.
But if I'm paying $100 for a shake, what is it?
It's $17.
It's still a lot.
And a shake should be how much?
$8?
It should be closer to eight.
But okay, so what would be, let's everyone chime in,
what would be in the Phil Rosenthal Shake?
Chocolate and peanut butter and then you have a nice protein thing that tastes
chocolate and nice, and you have the holy trinity of flavors,
chocolate peanut butter banana.
How about that?
So, Phil, this is, this is exactly, $25.
Love it.
This is exactly what I had right before we recorded, but I was lamenting to Josh and Marshall
before you came that I got my smoothie.
and they said, I'm so sorry, sir, we're out of straws.
So I took the smoothie and I had to drink it.
And it wasn't incredibly viscous.
It was actually rather thin.
So I drank the whole thing.
And by the time I was at the bottom, it was like, oh, Jesus Christ, I'm so goddamn full.
Yes.
Because of all the protein and the peanut butter and the chocolate.
It's meant to be sucked down slowly thick through a straw.
So it is a delicious combination that you mentioned.
But I would caution that you should drink.
it slowly and recognize how full you are because by the end, you could be too full like me.
I think I'm with you, which is why I think I could count on one hand the number of smoothies
I've had in my life.
Wow.
I'm not wasting my belly on stuff like this.
If I know, not a very nice smoothie.
No, no.
I guess if I'm in a rush and I can't have a meal, but wouldn't you rather have a slice of pizza?
Yeah.
That's what I just did.
But lunch.
I went to Apollonia.
You know Apollonia?
Sure.
And Wilshire.
square size.
My friend, not to drop names, but do you know who Adam Perry Lang is?
Barbecue man.
He's one of the, if not the, barbecue master in these United States.
He drove to meet me for lunch.
He requested this an hour from Palsfordis.
He drove so he could have Apollonia.
Wow.
And when Justin, the guy, the genius, who is the creator and owner of Apollonia,
saw Adam, we got a pizza omacasse.
Wow.
A one of a kind.
Slight different slices, right, because they make a beautiful New York style.
That's great.
They have a vodka sauce that you would kill someone over.
They have the square Detroit's slices.
So I think we have four slices of these things, each cut in half,
so we could taste them all.
And they're amazing how good they are.
We are in a pizza renaissance in this city right now.
I can name 20 places that I put up against any pizza anywhere,
They're including New York.
Shut up, everybody.
Ben,
well,
Dem's this fighting.
Go, Ben.
Unleash.
And I love,
I'm from New York,
and I love New York pizza.
I did a whole segment on it
in the New York episode.
This is one of the loves of my life.
It's my favorite food is pizza.
But right now,
my hand to God,
and if you don't know these places,
when you come,
I'm going to take you both
and just to see your face.
Okay, I'm in.
There's no snobery.
New York has some pretty fantastic.
I'm not disagreeing.
I'm just saying that at the moment, L.A.
L.A.'s hot on pizza.
Right up there.
Wow.
Wow.
We got to go.
So in my smoothie.
Josh, Josh, where did you take me when we, when I came?
What lunch place did we go to with that chicken salad?
Oh, Jones on there.
Of course.
Yeah.
Delish.
There's not pizza.
Delish.
No.
But a beautiful modern deli.
Yes.
Very good.
Love that big salad bowl, the metal.
It's the definition.
You need to use more metal.
Yeah, exactly right.
Yes.
Because you think you're in a Nancy Myers film.
Right.
But then there's influencers there.
And good food.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't care about any of that stuff.
I just, I'm here for the food.
Neither do I.
Right.
Yeah.
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With classroom structured roots, we'll rehash standout moments of day-to-day life,
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and follow the show wherever you get your podcasts.
Marshall, I know you're a smoothie man is a vegan, a lot of supplementing.
What would you have?
Like, iron and B-12 has to be in there.
Sure.
Vegan smoothie.
No, it's going to be
mango and pineapple.
That's nice.
Tropical.
This is what I get this out.
I get this out of Whole Foods.
Tropical.
I pack a lot of that
spinach and kale in there,
so it turns green
and you don't taste it at all.
And you're just getting a lot of those
nutrients in.
But yeah, and my first instinct
was also to add tequila,
but I think that's just
a blended
margarita.
I think you're right.
And then I drive to the next place
and I say, can you put rum in this one?
Yeah.
And then I drive to the next place.
Do you have this in a to go container?
Because I'm healthy.
I'm having smoothies.
Ben, by the way, also has a wonderful canned spritz company,
canned wine company called Spritz Society.
Very good.
You might, you drink a little.
I'll get you some.
We should also, Josh, maybe when I come, we all cook.
Phil, I'm a lovely, lovely chef cook.
I had no idea.
I can't cook.
It could cook.
I don't cook at all.
We could cook at all. People say you.
I could cook you something.
No, but you eat.
Eating is better than cooking.
Will you tell Ben, and this is, you know, Phil is an extraordinary guy.
I'm not going to embarrass you here, but the level of good fortune that he has translated
into philanthropy and how wonderful his family is.
So, so many communities in L.A. and so many different people in need.
And, but I would say the one thing that you do with your money, that's exactly what I would
do for fun, this man knows how to throw a dinner party.
And he will, on a Sunday night, you'll have a movie night, and he will invite a black belt chef.
I'm talking high-level, high-operating level chef to come over, like the great Danielle.
Danieli Uditi from Pizana.
And we have a wood-burning pizza oven in the kitchen.
Yes.
Which I, by design, because I've been doing movie night since I'm 15 years old.
When I was 15, our neighborhood in Rockland County, New York, got HBO.
And HBO, for you young people, was the first time you could see an unedited, uncensored, uncut, uninterrupted movie in your house.
Do you know what that means to a 15-year-old boy that a new R-rated movie is coming every Saturday night?
I call my other idiot 15-year-old friends and say, come over, we're going to see something.
Right.
And then we'd order pizza.
This, through the years, as I've gotten lucky and then a little luckier, has developed now to the point where we have a dead.
dedicated movie room I dug down so we'd have stadium style seating, three levels, a big screen
digital cinema projector with DCP's digital cinema packages, which are the exact same as you
see in movie theaters.
And I get these films because I'm on some courtesy, kind of professional courtesy list called
the Bel Air Circuit.
Oh, that's nice.
So we get movies the day they're released.
The Staten Island Circuit, you get them, but they were filmed.
They were filmed in the theater by a guy named Rick.
And when we moved into this house, I just said, the movie room will be here.
And the kitchen was four little rooms.
It's a hundred-year-old house.
We blew out the walls and made it a big, you know, what they call it, great space.
And right there is a wood-burning pizza oven in the kitchen.
So everything now has been elevated to as high as it can be.
And who's going to make the pizza?
At first it was the people from Moza.
And then they still come once in a while.
But during COVID, and they lost a few people.
So they couldn't do it.
So I asked my friend Danielle Uditi from Pizana,
could I rent one of your pizza makers to come make pizza?
And he said, no.
And I said, oh, okay, he goes, I want to do it.
So he comes himself and makes the pizza.
Can't do it every week.
But by the way, when I can't have him or Mota, Apollonia.
They have to have nobody complains.
We're eating right out of the box.
Wow.
Couldn't be better.
That's good.
It's a good time.
A pizana, I mean, this guy is such a, but not, do you know pizana?
No, no.
But to have a world-renowned pizza chef cooking in your kitchen, in your pizza oven, I want to be
Phil Rosenthal when I grew up.
This is a dream.
Here's a thing.
This is a dream.
So people, we all prioritize different things, right?
This was a priority to me to share this love with my friends and family.
And the best part of this movie night, as it's elevated every, you know, iteration of the house
and the technology is, and because the pizza is so good,
I can get people associated with the film to come to the screening.
I think they're there for the pizza, but they'll start, like, here we are watching
West Side Story with Rita Moreno.
And then she talks for an hour and a half about the making of the movie.
To 25 of us.
That's awesome.
I mean, going to Phil's house for these is pretty incredible because even if it's someone
not connected to the film, these are heavy hitters.
You'll be eating the best slice of pizza in your life and you'll turn and you go,
Hi, Jane Fonda.
And she's lovely.
She's lovely.
Ben, you tell me if this is okay to ask.
I feel like our goal is you, you know, as, you know, great Jewish men in training.
Our goal is to be you.
What, give us a look into what we have to, what's it like being a great Jewish man of your?
I only looked it up so I only know now that you're in your early 60s.
I'd never know.
But like, give us a snapshot.
What do we have to look forward to?
shot, bend over for your prostate exam.
Oh, yeah.
You got that to look forward to.
Good.
How about the colonoscopy?
Everything now, why are they so interested in that particular orifice, everybody, because he
hit a certain age?
There's so many things going up and down in there.
Can't stand it.
So many scopes.
It sucks to get, yeah, I'm not certainly not the first person to say this, but you're,
you guys, I wish I was you.
I get it.
And we wish we were you.
Like Sapubaraki.
Key?
Always wanting.
There's always like I went to the doctor.
I think I was 50.
I go for a checkup.
He goes, any aches and pains?
I go, yeah, well, you know, after I run, my hips hurt a little bit.
My lower back hurts a little bit.
He goes, how old are you?
I said 50.
He goes, you've run enough.
That's what you have to look forward to.
You've run enough.
But you still run.
No.
No, you gave up?
I have to shift into other.
Now I walk a lot and I do weights every day.
Okay.
This doesn't happen by itself.
No.
No, listen, you are fit, my friend.
I was going to say from the camera, you look like you're in fantastic shape,
and I was going to ask, as a big foodie, have you ever been on the larger side of the thing?
Oh, my kids used to call me fatty daddy.
That's endearing.
Yes.
When you're in the writer's room, okay, and you're working there all day,
the only sunshine coming in that room is the menu.
And when the menu comes at lunch and you're working on a show,
in television, this was, you know, 10, 20 years ago, at least, the business has changed now.
Where do you want to order from?
Anywhere you want.
What should we get?
Anything you want.
Should we get dessert?
Sure.
What should we get?
All of them.
Because why?
Because we're in show business.
And it's all paid for.
And it's all fine.
This was, if you would have told me, when I was working in New York, a struggling actor,
you know, and having all these odd jobs, bartender, temp guy, ran a deli, that this.
This would be a life of making comedy, laughing for a living in that writer's room, saying all the horrible things to each other, to your friends, laughing like you've never laughed, ever, all day, every day.
And then food, whatever you want every day.
Yes, I gained 30 pounds.
Wow.
Yes.
And then I was 40, I went for my checkup and he said, oh, your cholesterol is a little high for your age.
Now nobody's ever told me anything, you know, that there was something wrong.
Oh, you're so lucky, not over here.
Yeah.
I've been getting wrongs from nine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I understand.
I wish you had seen the look on Phil's face.
No, I know.
My entire filmography just jumped in front of him.
He's like, oh, yes.
Well, look at you now.
It has a happy ending.
It really does.
Have you ever, I feel so stupid asking you this.
Have you ever considered testosterone replacement therapy?
No.
Any of these things that men of your age dabble in?
Don't mess with me.
That's the thing.
I don't understand plastic surgery.
People, if you're listening,
leave your goddamn self alone.
Yeah, Josh.
I'm sorry.
I just had a procedure.
There are people who do stuff to their face that I will never understand.
You think you look younger?
You may have less wrinkles, but now you're half human, half duck.
What did you do to your lips, I want to say?
What are you doing?
Leave yourself alone.
You don't look younger, you look weirder,
and you look like that other person who did it to their lips.
Right next to you.
Yes.
So you all look like you come from a planet of crazy surgery.
Yes.
And especially if you're an actor, your faces, that's where everything is.
I swear to God, I can't look at certain actors and actresses anymore because of what they did.
That's all I'm looking at.
It's so distracting.
Definitely.
I recently had a small procedure around my eyes and I don't regret.
I don't see it.
They look great.
That's the idea.
Okay, but for every one of you, there's.
Which is how they're going to use your picture to sell the procedure.
Sure.
Then you get, you know, the lady who looks like a cat in New York.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And then people start going for that look.
That becomes like a goal.
They want to look artificial.
In other countries, there are other countries that this is almost a culture.
Right.
Well, listen, I guess it's a culture here.
Wow.
Leave yourself alone.
We love you the way you are.
I love you the way you are, people.
Don't mess with your face.
You hear that, Ben.
I'm canceling it.
Should we get to a speak pipe or two before we're done?
Sure.
Yeah.
Okay, so our final segment, and you can prepare for it now, but we won't do it just yet.
Go for it, Ben.
And then, Josh, you want to do What Are You Nuts?
Yes.
Okay, perfect.
Yeah, continue.
But I'll let you prepare now.
We end with something called What Do You Nuts?
And it's our gripes for that week with people, places, and things.
Nothing too.
I can go right now.
Okay, great.
Love it.
What should we do?
Let's listen to a speak pipe and then do what you do that.
Okay, so a speak pipe is people leave us messages asking for advice.
I love that.
Asking for something.
That's how I end my live shows.
Love it.
I said ask me anything.
It doesn't just have to be somebody fit, Phil, or everybody loves Raymond.
I'm very good with relationship questions and ethical problems.
So I'm ready.
Okay, perfect.
Go to speakpipe.com slash good guys if you want our advice.
And here we go from Maddie.
I'm not good at this, Phil.
you learn this about me.
What do you mean, the technology?
The technology?
And now another episode of Jews and technology.
Hey, Madam Josh.
More on Maddie speaking.
I have a quandary that I was hoping you guys would give your thoughts about.
So my older brother and his wife are about to have a baby, and it's the first grandchild
on my side of the family.
So my parents are trying to think of their grandparent name.
And my mom is adamant about being called Foxy.
I'll say that again.
My mother wants to be called Foxy by her grandkids.
children. In her defense, her made a name as Fox, so it sent a medal to her, which I get. But at the same
time, Foxy literally means sexually appealing. And so I just can't fathom my future niece or nephew
or my children later down the line, calling my mom Foxy. So I just wanted your thoughts. One,
am I overreacting as this not a big deal? Two, if it's weird, how can I go about suggesting maybe
a more normal name, perhaps grandma? Yeah, so I'd love to hear your thoughts. I also would like
to know if you guys were to become grandpas later down the road, what would your grandparent name be?
The podcast is the best. It gets me through the day. You guys rock. Bye.
Wow. Foxy. Foxy.
First of all, when I'm a grandpa, I want to be called Ryan Gosling by my kids and my grandkids. Yeah.
I want to be called Phil Rossell. That's me. Foxy's nuts. I'm sorry.
It is a little nuts, but it's also a little funny and would be cute, especially if a name is Fox, then you have a reason.
It's not like, you know, it's for public consumption.
It's around the house.
Call her whatever she wants.
But you do leave the house.
Yes.
It's kind of cute, a little kid saying, foxy, Foxy.
It is cute.
I think it's cute.
No, it's not like, hey, sugar tits, come over here.
It's fucking.
It's the thing is you also can't tell her what to do.
Like she's the grandma.
She wants to be called Foxy, call her Foxy.
Don't recommend what she wants.
Here's what we'll solve everything.
The kid may come up with their own thing.
That's what happened with my kids.
What do they call your?
So like my mother-in-law.
Sugar tits.
Don't listen to this, Stacy.
So her name is me-maw, which is hilarious.
Because that's like a southern thing.
Me-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-A.
My me ma.
Yeah, she couldn't be anything further from a me ma'am.
But now she's embraced it and it's perfect because that was what my son, Max.
Where did he get that from?
He just started saying meema, like, mema.
You can't argue with it.
And my mother was one who said, I have a name.
I want to be Grandma Babe.
And that stuck.
So now it's Grandma Babe and Meema.
I love it.
Good.
I think we had Marie, the Maurice, the Doris Roberts character, when confirmed,
confronted with the other, with Deborah's mother and the kids there. Oh, she would say,
oh, look, it's, it's Connecticut grandma and regular grandma. She wanted to name. She wanted
to be real grandma. Right, right, right. Oh, I love that. Whatever. So what do you been,
Foxy? Love. I'm in. I've been convinced. By the way, also, if, if Barb is Grandma, Babe,
Grandma, Babe and Foxy are the same thing.
Babe Foxy, they're cute, they're nice, they're fun.
I'm in.
It's cute. Okay, Marshall.
Team Foxy.
Team Foxy, it is.
Last question from Anonymous.
I love it.
Hi, guys.
My name is Kat.
I'm calling in from Windsor, Ontario or speaking in from Windsor Ontario, close to the border
of the United States.
I am a dedicated moron, if you will, who is looking for some advice specifically from some
married folk.
And since you guys give such advice with comedic value, I felt I could reach out.
recently went on a walk with my partner of eight years, who is an amazing, amazing, amazing bagpipe player.
I'll throw that in there for fun.
Went on a walk with him.
He was very insistent on going a certain direction.
We get there, there's Edison bulbs, there's flowers, there's roses, there's a sign that says, will you marry me?
I assume this is for me.
I am mistaken when he says, what idiot, you know, spends $500 on roses and then leaves it in a park unattended.
And so I learned it was not for me.
The point of me telling you the story is since I've had a very itchy ring finger.
I don't want to be the girl who's like super controlling and mean and like demanding about it.
But I'm also at the point where we've been dating for like almost eight years.
Like I really wanted to have it because I don't want to be like a controlling mean person.
We're both, I specifically have a lot of student debts.
Like I get maybe wanting to pay some of that off.
But just looking for some thoughts on how I bring this up without being a controlling person from the perspective of two married men.
On a great day, guys.
Three married men.
Wow.
You're not controlling.
That guy's got to shit or get off the pot.
Eight years.
That's too much, especially if she's an itchy ring finger.
I have to ask you, dear.
Help a girl out.
Don't you talk?
I mean, aren't you allowed to have the conversation without being controlling or mean?
Right.
You're allowed to say, sweetheart, it's been eight years.
Can you tell me what you're thinking?
Sure.
Because what I'm thinking is, it feels like, by the way, eight years, whether you know it or not, you are married.
That's right.
So something's with him, and maybe he just needs a tiny little, I'm not saying a push,
but at least a conversation.
I think that's fair.
And it's basically an episode.
I mean, you could have stolen that, right?
Easy.
They think they're getting proposed to.
It's for someone else who would spend 500 dollars.
I remember Monica said to me, we've been going out for a few years.
You know, this is, I've made an investment in time.
Wow.
And I was like, oh, really?
I'm an investment.
I was quite offended.
Yeah, you're like an IRA.
I don't know what your financial situation is, and I don't know his. He may feel as I did,
and for me it was three or four years before I proposed. I felt like, and times are different now,
this is going back 35 years, I felt like I didn't really have a steady job and I wasn't ready.
I felt like I needed to be able to take care of myself before I could even co-take care of someone else.
Sure.
Not that she couldn't take care of herself, but I felt like I needed some solidity in my life financially
before I started down the marriage, children, house road.
Does that make sense?
Sure.
So maybe, you know, he just hasn't found himself yet.
I'm sorry that was so serious, Denise.
No, that's great.
No, we get serious.
Yes.
Yeah.
We do.
This is a serious daughter.
Do you have a different idea?
No, I think that that's right.
I do think that she needs to talk to him.
I think eight years is far too long.
I think that she should have said to him in the moment when he made fun of the $500
engagement.
Oh, you know, I really would have loved that.
Give him that hint then.
He has to take some of the responsibility, though, because eight years to not say anything.
Right.
The guy's figuring, I guess this is all right, this arrangement, because she's never said anything,
and I'm fine.
He's obviously fine with it.
All I know is I've never been more sure that two people are not Jewish.
100% these people are not Jewish.
Because at a certain point at year six, her mother gets on the phone.
Yes, and yes, and kills him.
What are you doing?
It's not lasting that long.
Wasting the best years of a life.
Childbearing years.
Those hips have a timer on them.
Okay, so let's get into our Woody Innuts moment of the week.
Ben, do you want to start?
Sure.
I feel like you.
I'm a.
Dog.
We have King Charles Cavaliers, our beautiful breed.
We recently lost our son, Theo, in December, very sad.
We have a beautiful puppy, Romeo, six months old, beautiful, beautiful boy,
walking him on the street.
And there's something about maybe it's, I think it's the King Charles breed,
that when somebody else is a King Charles Cavalier owner,
they feel it necessary to walk up to you,
tell them that they also own a King Charles Cavalier,
and ask if they can pick up your dog,
them and give them kisses. And this is enough. This is my dog. This isn't your dog. So I'm here
to say, what are you nuts? I'm sorry. I know that you feel a certain way about my dog because you also
have the same breed. That said, this is, it happened to me seven times today a one. This is my,
this is my dog. I'm walking my dog on the streets. He needs to go to the bathroom. He needs to
pee. He needs to poop. I don't need these interruptions. People literally come over and pick up your
dog. Literally come up and say, no, they ask. They say,
Can I pick up your dog? What would you say? Oh my God. He's afraid of heights. It's like someone's
literally picking up your baby. Yeah. Yes. Yes. You would feel very uncomfortable and begrudgingly.
You'd say, okay, sure. And then they pick him up and they give him a kiss and you're like,
this isn't your dog. This is my dog. So here's what you do. What are you nuts? Here's what you do.
You say ordinarily, I would say, of course. But today he has unbelievable diarrhea.
Good. That's good. Good. I like that. Yes, that's good. I like that.
That applies to humans.
Yes.
Yes.
I say it when somebody wants to hug me too much.
I agree.
You do a meet and greet.
I would love to, but for your safety.
My Woody Nuts moment is I go, you know, I go to the gym every day and everyone who works here is lovely.
But, you know, there are these people that check you in.
And on the board, I've seen this behind in their little, you know, employee quarters.
It says, friendliness is our language.
Oh.
Well, apparently.
Not everyone's proficient.
and friendly.
Yes.
But it's not that.
There's just this one person,
and that's the only distinguishing mark I'm going to give them,
they're a person.
They're alive, they're a human being.
They just have this look on their face every single time.
And now I'm such a people-pleasing child actor,
broken human.
I walk in there.
At this point, I've gotten so many scowls that I walk in going,
I'm like trying to get a smile out of them.
Hello, money.
Like, I'm begging them.
Like, you want to hear a Drake and Josh line?
Like, what do we need?
And she just will not give me a smile.
She's not in the mood.
And so eventually, it's sort of, we got to chatting once.
And she was lovely and friendly.
It's just her disposition.
So I would say, if you're in a good mood, tell your face that.
What are you nuts?
Ah.
We call this if a bit of business.
Yes.
And it's a person.
And it's a problem.
Yes.
In English, it's a resting bitch face.
I understand.
And these are problems.
It's a problem.
Some people can't literally help it.
They don't know what their face is doing.
It may be a reflection of what's inside, but it may not be.
She was lovely.
Yeah, yeah.
I heard this.
I think I heard it on Paula Poundstone's podcast.
She reads facts of interesting facts about stuff.
People who smile and say hello to other people without expecting a hello or a smile back,
are generally happier people in life.
So Josh, I would say to you, keep doing what you're doing.
It doesn't matter if they even smile back.
You don't want to be them.
You want to be you.
So always be nice.
Always smile.
Say hi.
As you walk down the street, hi, hi, hi, hi.
Doesn't matter if they look up or nothing.
You doing that makes you feel better.
Love it.
That's why you do it.
Yes.
Bill, what do you got?
This is a societal thing, not a particular human.
Is that all right?
Sure.
What's your biggest pet peeve in the restaurant?
Probably waiting for a table.
Okay, fair enough.
Pet peeve when it's too loud.
That's me.
That's exactly my what are you nuts.
I'm here to talk to you.
That's why I went out with you.
I want to have a conversation.
I don't want to hear your playlist.
Restaurant.
If I wanted to listen to music, I picked my music at home.
I didn't come here.
I came here for the food and talked to my friends.
What are you doing?
And now, because I'm kind of in the restaurant business, I invest in restaurants, so I've learned something.
Do you want to guess why the music is so loud in so many restaurants?
Why the noise level is so crazy in so many restaurants.
So you don't hear the kitchen?
So you don't hear the other tables?
Nope.
She don't hear chewing?
No.
Does this psychologically make you hungrier and order more food?
Very wrong.
Get you out quicker.
That's it.
Wow.
Oh, turn tables, these greedy capitalists.
It's not even you would think that because you're the customer.
But look at it from their point of view.
They're barely eking out a living.
The margins in restaurants, you've heard this before.
The restaurant business is so thin.
It's impossible.
It's an impossible way of life, as they say.
Right.
You can't make money.
You must, if you lose one turnover of a table,
meaning one seating of one table,
because the people stayed from seven to ten instead of seven to nine, right?
Right.
You don't make money that money.
That's how thin the margin is between profitability and not.
I have an idea to combat this.
Do you think that people would be comfortable the same way that clubs have a table fee?
Do you think that people would be comfortable paying a flat fee for a two-hour block or a three-hour block?
Food is maybe a little bit cheaper as a result.
covering your nuts. So you walk into the restaurant, it's
200 bucks for a two hour table.
I think you can do that. I think that's a good
idea, but I don't think you have to
charge people for the
time they said, in other words, let them
know, just like you're booking a
show, yes, we have
seven to nine available. And then nine o'clock
shows over. And it's your
responsibility as the restaurant to feed
them generously in
that time so that
they can have a leisurely evening
and then go. And then you're perfectly
within your rights to say it is 9 o'clock and thank you for coming. Right. Right. Because they
knew it is plenty that it was going to be seven to nine. Right. And maybe you're right. Maybe if they,
listen, we're going to want to, we're going to want to stay longer, but you book it for an allotment of time.
You can. Two hours is more than enough, though. This will also take away one of the things
that I think we love about restaurants, which is it's going well. You're on a date, let's say.
or you're having a, you know, a wonderful reunion with your friends, and it could go on four hours.
I disagree.
I disagree, too.
Not only that, any dinner over two hours has become unnecessary.
Well, there are restaurants that have the four or five-hour tasting menu, too, but that's a different animal.
Yeah, but this could be a reunion with the father I never met.
At two hours, I go, I think, I hear that was his name.
Yes.
Let's take a walk.
I don't know why you can't.
Back starts hurting.
To book up time.
Yeah, book a time.
A time limit.
And then let's change up the scenery.
But yeah, those three hour dinners, they take a lot.
I mean, it's the ultimate quality problem.
And then people will be like, oh, I'm going to order something an hour, two hour, 45.
Like, let's do another dessert.
I'm like, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Well, yeah, yeah.
We go out for ice cream.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess it depends on the night and the restaurant.
Phil likes a nice long dinner.
No.
I really don't.
My back hurts.
My back hurts thinking about it.
Yeah.
Right?
But what if comes 9 o'clock and they don't have another table coming in?
And they are still eating or ordering drinks at the very least.
You got to be a little flexible, too.
Little flex.
You do.
Phil, thank you for doing this show.
Did we solve this?
This was incredible.
I think it was solved.
As long as you solve something, it won't feel like a total loss.
I think it was solved.
And this was honestly an absolute joy.
Like, what a what a splash.
blended hour whatever we've had.
Thank you so much for coming.
It was so great to meet you.
They need the table.
Listen, we got to turn the table, the margins.
We booked a slot.
I understand.
I'm out.
This entire episode of the podcast was like if Oppenheimer was a war over appetizers.
You know, this is.
Oh, I have a question for you.
You're in Oppenheimer.
Yeah.
Very good movie.
Why was it in IMAX?
Ben, take us home.
Will you?
Let's end the pod.
You can tell me off camera.
You think I question Christopher Nolan?
I do.
That's what?
Well, well, folks, that's our show.
As always, you can catch us Mondays and Thursdays, audio, Spotify, Apple, wherever you listen to your podcast on YouTube.
Watch us on Josh's YouTube channel.
You got to see us laughing, interacting.
Watch us, then listen to us, double the views.
It's fantastic.
Share our clips, Instagram, TikTok, send him to a friend.
Give us five stars.
Otherwise, what are you nuts?
We'll see you next time.
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