Good Guys - Secrets of the Algorithm with Instagram's Adam Mosseri
Episode Date: November 17, 2025Mazel morons! This week, we’re joined by the Head of Instagram himself, Adam Mosseri, for a revealing, hilarious, and surprisingly heartfelt breakdown of how IG actually works. We ask every question... you’ve ever yelled into the void: Is shadow banning real? Why did your reach plummet overnight? Does the algorithm have feelings? And yes- where the hell is it even stored? Adam explains the truth about Reels, why funny content still crushes, how political posts tank engagement, and what keeps him up at night running a platform with 3 billion users. We also get into parenting, screen-time drama, spy-theory paranoia between social platforms, creator perks, Zuckerberg’s chain era, and MORE. If you’ve ever posted, doom-scrolled, obsessed over insights, or cursed the algorithm… this episode is for you. If not… what are ya, nuts? Love ya! Leave us a voicemail here! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok! Sponsors: LMNT - Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase, That’s 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors or share LMNT with a friend. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/goodguys. Chewy - Every pet deserves a wish come true. Send your pet’s wish to Chewy.com/ChewyClaus and it might become a reality. Plus, your wish means Chewy will donate 5 meals to pets in need. Signos - Go to signos.com and get $10 off select plans with code GOOD Function - Function is a near-360 view to see what’s happening in your body, and my first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit toward their membership. Visit www.functionhealth.com/GOODGUYS or use gift code GOODGUYS100 at sign-up to own your health. Warby Parker - You can also head over to WarbyParker.com/GOODGUYS right now to try on any pair virtually! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
Awesome morons.
Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.
We are sitting here with the president of Instagram, Adam Moseri.
Hi, thanks for having me.
Thanks for doing this.
Look at this, Ben.
Can you believe these guys?
It's fantastic.
It's fantastic.
And we've been chatting with Adam for the last 10 minutes and let me tell you, he is much
funnier than I expected.
So this episode is going to be an absolute hoot.
We are seven boys.
We have seven boys between the three of us.
Okay.
Parents over here.
Good guys.
Adam's another good guy and just happens to run a platform that is incredibly important to the
livelihoods of all of us.
Yeah.
Thank you very much, Adam.
Yeah, my kids can eat because of you.
I don't know about that.
And if you can just allow the algorithm to reach a few more people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sure we'll talk about the algorithm.
Well, is the algorithm kept like, you know how the Coca-Cola recipe is in like a cave in
Atlanta?
Yeah.
Like, it's kept like there's only one person.
who has the recipe and it's like maybe one of the Coke family, where's the algorithm held?
So to start, we talk a lot about, honestly, I used to try to reframe questions like that because
there isn't one algorithm. There's lots of things we do to try to understand how interested you are
in certain topics, what certain contents about, match you with your interest, et cetera.
But at this point, I think everyone just, what they mean when they say the algorithm is the sum of all
of those things, and I've stopped trying to fight that framing. I just don't want people to feel like
the algorithm is some entity that has its own agency that we hide behind. Like, we are responsible
for the decisions we make and what we build. That affects what people see. So I want to make sure
we own that. But to answer your question, for ranking and relevance and algorithms, it is code
on servers in data centers all over the world. Lots of copies of the same code. And is it changing all the
time? Every day.
People often think that something major has changed in the algorithm and they use that to explain why their reach might have gone way up or way down.
But the truth is we almost never make major changes to it.
We constantly make small changes to try to improve it over time.
Oh, that is you are, I feel so seen.
That's me on the group chat with a bunch of other influencers.
Like when I'm having a real shit week, I got they changed it, bro.
Just throw me under the bus.
I'm shadow bad.
I'm sure that's the shadow banning.
They're not highlighting funny right now, bro.
Funny does well.
Funny is one of the best verticals.
All the data I've seen suggest funny.
It's funny still good.
How long have you been at Instagram, Adam?
I joined Instagram in the spring of 18.
I was hired to run what's called their product management team by Kevin and Mikey, the founders.
They had already been at the company, which was then called Facebook now called Meta for about
six and a half years at the time, maybe six years.
But I was at Facebook for 10 years before that.
So 2008, right?
Is that when you said?
July 2008, I started.
I was a designer.
We were just a website.
The iPhone, I think I'd just come up, but we didn't have an iPhone app.
And, you know, it was fun.
It wasn't a bunch of kids in a college dorm.
It was, you know, we had a couple hundred people in an HR department.
There were some adults around, but we were pretty young and trying to figure it out on the fly.
Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh.
Are you represented in social network?
Oh, no.
I don't think so, no.
But you tell people, you go see that extra back there on the laptop?
That's me. That's me.
The kid with the Jew phone back.
That's cool.
I went to see it.
I remember I went to see it.
We all went to see it together, actually.
We got Facebook stock, right?
Did we get Facebook stock?
We did.
Did I?
Did you?
Yes.
In 08, did you get Facebook stock?
The way compensation is, in all tech companies is,
stock and salary.
And we do that because we think it's good for the employees to have an incentive for the business to do it,
not just for them to do well as individuals.
We tried to offer Olivia's stock and good guys.
She said, no.
She's like, gave me that cash.
I don't quite see the runway.
Olivia, we'll offer you 25% of the company are two grand and cash.
She said, two grand.
I'll take a gift certificate to McDonald's.
Juice bar, equinox or something.
But you were saying, so you as a company went to go watch social network?
We did.
We all went together.
Wow, what was that like?
With Mark?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was surreal.
It was interesting because you can't help but get distracted by what's accurate and what's inaccurate.
It's almost, you know, if you've read a book and then watch the movie and then you kind of get distracted by where it deviates and where it lines up, it was almost like that.
Right.
But, like, at that time, you came on after, like, Eduardo had left the company and
Sean Parker was gone, the whole thing.
Yeah, Sean was not at the company.
I, but, you know, there were some interactions back then, I think, with him.
But, no, it was just after that phase.
Wow.
Yeah.
What a time.
How exciting.
Yeah.
I mean, it was very exciting and humbling at the same time.
When did you get on Instagram, Ben?
Probably, like, 2013.
I was going to ask this.
So I posted memes forever.
That was like my original boy with no job and girl with no job were memes.
And then we pivoted over time as the platform evolved and memes sort of went away.
And video started to take hold.
But it's funny, even to this day, if I were to post a meme, it would reach four times the amount of people than a video.
Is there a way to let I know the algorithm you can't like talk to it?
Is there a way to train the algorithm?
to let them know that you no longer post that type of content, even a decade later.
Yeah.
No, but it's not always the case that memes do better than videos.
It depends on the person and the content.
I actually do think we should try to get to a place where you can actually talk to the algorithm.
And I can talk about that more if you'd like.
Yeah.
But most of how the ranking system work is not actually thinking much about you and your history.
It's mostly oriented around consumers.
It's like, okay, here's a piece of content, who might be interested in it.
Let's go and find out as many people as possible who we think could be interested in it,
whether or not they follow you or not.
There are things that are producer-side-oriented, but for the most part,
nothing happens when you post right away.
What happens is all the people who then log in and follow you,
open up Instagram later, and then we go and look at that post
and everything else that was posted and then try to figure what they might be interested in.
It's not like a piece of mail that gets sent.
it's almost like a DVD added to a DVD collection
and then the next person who comes into the store,
it's an option.
Is there like a checkpoint type thing in the sense of,
so I post something, right?
Do certain things, do you need to hit certain milestones quickly
for it to be widely broadcast?
That's a great question.
So there are two sides to how ranking works for organic content.
So not ads.
We're just talking about when you post on Instagram as a creator
or is just an average vote.
There's one side, which is for the accounts that follow you.
So everyone who's followed you,
they were trying to find as many of them as possible
who are interested in your post
and just show them that content.
So when they open up Instagram,
we look at that post and all the other posts they could see
and we rank them based on relevance.
Half of the people who follow you might not even use Instagram anymore
or not be Instagram or that day.
Maybe another half of those don't scroll far enough,
so you're never going to reach most of your followers,
even though we all would love to reach all of them.
But there's that system.
where there's no sort of gate or minimum thing or threshold that you sort of have to cross necessarily.
Then there's the unconnected side.
So we try to go out and find people who don't follow you who might love and be interested in your content.
And the way that works is kind of like an audition system.
So we try to make sure every piece of content gets, that's public, that's trying to reach a lot of people,
gets a minimum number of views.
And then if it, so we set aside.
a little bit of what we call impressions or views to try things out like that. And then if it does
really well, then we get, we broadcast that piece of content to more unconnected accounts.
And if it does well again, it graduates again. So it's almost like a competition where it can keep,
if it does better than everything else, continue to get promoted and promoted and promoted,
which is how you can see content from very small accounts go very viral sometimes.
Right. Yeah, it's interesting, right?
Ben, because, like, I'll find, in general, I have, like, the metrics for my channel, like,
milestones where I'll see if something's at about 60,000 views in the first 10 minutes, I go,
this one's going to go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not.
I go, you know what, babe, door dash.
Yeah.
You know, like, you know, let's treat ourselves.
But don't caviar tonight.
Yeah, it's going to be.
We can pay, and we won't do pickup.
We'll do delivery.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll do the charges.
Yeah.
But then if I see it, like, teetering at 15, you know, 20,000.
I go, this one, I just know it's not going to make it.
Yeah.
So that's often true that early on you can get a sense for how something's going to do.
But what matters is not really a number of views.
It's the interaction rates.
So of all the people who saw it, how many people liked it?
Right.
Of all the people who saw it, how many people sent it to a friend?
And what you're getting a sense for in that first hour is what that rate is.
because you're like, all right, 60,000 views,
it's doing better than the average thing I did for the,
but what's really happening by the scenes is maybe your average post
has like a 5% like rate and this one had a 6% like rate
or 1% comment rate, so 1% of 100 people commented it on it.
This one had 1.1.
That's actually a big delta.
It doesn't sound like it, but it is.
Yeah.
And you're seeing that start to get picked up in the ranking system.
It's best.
But don't overreact to the first hour, though.
Here one small thing.
The comments, we're trying to make.
sure there's civil as possible. People on the internet are not always as civil as we would like.
I strongly ask anybody who struggles with mean comments sometimes to just give it a minute
before you get in there. Because the people who post comments the quickest are the craziest.
And if you just wait an hour or two, normal people tend to sort of drown out the wild.
And so just give it a minute. Don't get on there and that comments in those first hour.
I feel like that's not the best.
And will some of those, will the filter catch some of those within the first hour?
Yeah, but there's things that are not allowed, which will get caught.
But then there's things that are allowed, but they're just mean.
Oh, yeah.
We're aware.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then normal and nice comments will just push those mean comments way down over time.
But there's a correlation between how quickly you comment and how tough you can be as a commenter, it turns out.
I have a gift for finding the mean.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Don't look for it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
What are your comments like?
So there's a couple.
There's a lot of mad about reach.
Okay.
Give me back chrono feed.
It's my birthday.
All I want for my birthday is a blue check mark.
People being upset about having some piece of content taken down or feel like their
shadow band or someone they care about has.
But look, it's part of the job.
You're going to, if you're responsible for a platform that so many people use and rely on,
when things don't go their way, even if it's a small percentage of people, it's a lot of,
a lot of people.
Billion, two billion?
Three.
Three?
It's only seven billion people in the world.
Three billion people a month using Instagram.
It's unbelievable.
It just crossed that.
It's unbelievable.
Yeah, I don't know how to remember it.
It's unbelievable how big Instagram is.
It's so crazy.
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The translate tool that's now, I think it was, is it new? I'm so excited about this.
And I like it a lot. And I have noticed. So all of my, like three years ago, I pivoted hard into cooking.
All of my content now is recipe reels. They're doing better than really any content I've ever
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Obviously, it would become relevant to people outside of the U.S.
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But would you recommend always turning that on?
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Or it just naturally will feed into more circles
because people are understanding what you're saying.
Exactly.
It's the latter.
So it will help with reach more and more over time
because we're still getting, we're still new to this.
So for those of you don't know, when you post a real on Instagram,
you can have it translated automatically into the,
The four languages that we support are English, Spanish, Portuguese, and Hindi,
which, by the way, cover up, cover the majority of users.
Because India and Brazil are massive, massive countries for us.
And then obviously Spanish has spoken in a lot of countries in the world.
Told you, Josh. India. India, Josh.
Oh, it's by far our biggest country.
I know. You should look at my DMs.
Yeah, yeah.
It's almost primarily Delhi.
But you might not know how to speak the language.
Right.
And so if I can explain how Instagram works and it can just,
show up as me in my voice with looking like my lips or saying words in Hindi,
all of a sudden I can reach an audience in India who speaks Hindi and doesn't speak English.
Which, by the way, is only about half of India.
Because there's maybe 26 official Indic languages at this point.
There's many, many more that are actually spoken on the ground.
So the whole idea here is to help creatives reach audiences and find fans across language barrier.
Wow.
What's the Instagram perks looking like?
Is there an Instagram PJ?
What are we talking about?
Like, you've got to be places.
You're not flying spirit.
Come on.
I'm a United guy.
Yeah, when the PJs broken.
San Francisco.
We don't have one.
Mark, I'm sure, has a plane, but the rest of us do not, which is good, I think.
No, the perks are, I mean, look, it's a wonderful place to work.
They take really good care of us.
I laugh when you first at perks because I think of the team's,
They love swag.
They love like, swag, swag, swag, swag, swag.
And I'm like, why?
Why do you want another shirt with like a logo on it?
Like, they just can't, it doesn't matter, doesn't matter who you are.
People love a free t-shirt and they love a free mug.
One of your great employees who I've known for 20 years, Justin Anthony.
Yes.
One of the greats.
He's a sweetheart.
He and I started our careers together.
He was like a talent executive Nickelodeon when I was 14.
Yeah.
And he's always championed me.
And when he moved over to Instagram, it just,
felt natural. And so he had like a summit for creators years ago and brought us up to the
headquarters and was like, come over, come, I mean, was the Facebook headquarters created by the
people who did Disney or downtown Disney or is that a myth? No, no, it wasn't. It was the,
did you go to the campus that was right on the, like it's by this sort of like salt flats by
the near kind of a water body, body water? Maybe. I mean, it had everything. What year was it? This was
probably 2018, 2019. Oh yeah, yeah. So it's, it's. So it's, it's, it's, so it. It was. It was.
It would have been classic campus.
Yeah.
It was like an old Sun headquarters.
It was like an old Silicon Valley Company headquarters.
It was sick.
Yeah, yeah.
Like ice cream shop, unbelievable, like five different places to eat food.
But the best part was he took me and the other influencers.
And let's be honest, we love free stuff.
He said, come to the company store.
We got a Patagonia.
I said, I can have this.
He does whatever you want, Josh.
I said, this is Patagonia.
This is high-end material.
And it's got a nice, and it had the Facebook patch right at the bottom.
Oh, tasteful?
It was very tasteful.
It wasn't just like on your chest.
Yeah.
Too much.
That's good.
That's good.
It's not quite as Disneyland as it used to be.
I think once we, you know, through the pandemic and then 2022 and the market contraction,
we've started to try to be much more judicious than our expenses.
So it's not quite the wildness that it was, which I think is also good.
but it's still a wonderful place to work.
I'm not trying to complain at all.
I was just going to say speaking of working for Instagram,
I think it's the perfect time.
I worked in media for a decade before doing what I'm doing.
And I actually DM'd, I looked back.
I DM'd the Instagram account.
Oh, nice.
I read it to you.
I DMed the Instagram account in 2019.
What did you say?
I wrote,
Hey, long shot,
but I saw a job at Instagram that I was incredibly intrigued by.
I was wondering if you could possibly connect me
with someone in recruiting to talk about it.
Did you just go on red?
They just ghosted you?
No one ever read it.
No one ever read it.
And let me tell you, this was, this was very talented Ben.
Yeah.
Formerly at VaynerMedia, I think that's very, very excited to work at Instagram.
And thank God it didn't happen because my life turned out great.
But I wanted to work at Instagram so badly.
Does Instagram check its DMs?
I check my DMs, but I don't check that on Instagram.
I'm pretty sure someone does, but there's a lot.
There's almost 700 million people follow that account.
So it's more DMs, I think, than people can get to.
I go into my request folder every week.
Yeah.
I think it's good to get a sense for what is on people's minds, what's frustrating people lately.
I always respond to a handful, which usually freaks them out.
And...
Of course.
Sometimes I find, like, important people in there that didn't even know, like, that had
messaged me.
I, like, missed it.
And so I'm trying to get better at that.
I've been recently, people will, I'm kind of on an anti-camio kick, because I don't know,
I don't want to pay them a Vig for my likeness, but, you know, shout out cameo.
But so now if people DM me, I will, I'll just answer them and I'll do the request.
Like if they ask for a birthday shout-out, I'll be like, you don't have to pay me.
I'm just happy to do it.
Because this way I can do one every couple days and feel good about it.
This one girl, you tell me if this is nuts.
She's very nice.
Hello, Josh, my best friend.
we love you,
blah,
blah,
she's like,
will you wish her out?
This does not sound
like my DMs.
No,
what is there I'm like,
hello,
Adam,
I love you.
So happy,
you're doing such a good job.
You should be overweight
on a kid show.
There's also the side of it
where they call us
fat, vicious pigs.
Okay.
Tell us how much they hate Jews.
There's that side of it too.
I get plenty of that.
I get plenty of that too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so she says,
can you give me,
me a birthday video for my friend and the friend's name is C-L-E-I-L-A.
C-L-A.
C-L-E-I-L-A?
Yeah, this is a smart guy.
So let's see, let's see.
Clela.
Kalila.
Okay.
I write her back.
Sure.
How do you pronounce her name?
How do you just write that name with due respect?
A beautiful name.
But you don't just write.
Is it?
Is it a beautiful name?
If there's a silent C,
you know, you lead with that.
You know?
It's a silence?
No.
Oh, it's Layla?
No.
I asked her, so then she sent me a voice message.
You say it like Pellelia.
Oh, that would never.
No one's getting that.
No.
So I sent a video and I told her friend, what was up?
What's up?
It's Josh Peck.
How are you?
Don't look at this people right here.
What can you do?
Just wanted to wish you happy birthday.
Your best friend, Luis asked me to do this.
So thank you.
her and also tell your friend, she wrote me your name. It's a beautiful, not, you know,
suddenly exotic like I'd never heard it before. And she was saying, oh, just can you wish my
friend, Clelia, a happy birthday? And I wrote her back, I said, can you tell me how to pronounce it?
Because this could have been, happy birthday, Cleia or happy birthday.
Like, it just would have been, I'm not a smart man. You're a smart person and you're a wonderful
person, and I hope you have a wonderful birthday.
You're nuts and I love the way that you code switch.
Hello, it's Josh.
Hello, how are you?
Hello, hello, Kalila, it's Josh here.
I know, I hate my voice.
But you know what I'm saying?
I really aired out the baggage for her friend Louisa, but shut out.
I think it's great because if you get one that's that long,
it's just, it's more, it's more goodness in it.
It's committed.
No one has ever asked me to wish one of them.
friends a happy birthday.
Listen, but you're open to it.
Oh, why?
I would definitely be friends.
You know?
You're open to it.
Is there, is there, you know, obviously Mark is in his Zuckerberg.
He's in his oversized shirt era.
Are there moments where you could be like,
really can wear the chain on the outside, Mark?
Yeah.
Can you have that shorthand?
I mean, I think it's good.
I think it's good for him to lean into his own style.
and figure out how he wants to express himself.
I've definitely had a chain out at time,
so I can't be throwing shade at that.
All right.
But I don't know.
I just feel like for a long time,
it was a very focused uniform.
It was like jeans and Adida sandals
and a great t-shirt.
So I'm glad he's exploring a little bit more on the fashion side.
I love it.
I think it humanizes him.
Like for so long, you were like,
who is this guy?
And the second that he started doing that,
you were like, oh, oh, he's him.
He's him.
The tease and it's like, he's a real guy.
You got to be you.
If you're showing up online, you know, obviously you want to be thoughtful about how you show up.
But if you're inauthentic, people can sniff it out and people hate that.
And so you have to find something authentic to tap into.
And then if people like it, great.
And if they don't, that's also okay.
But if you're trying to hide something or pretend to be something you're not, I think people can smell that.
And so I'm just like, look, you know, you've,
be you, whatever you're into. I think it's good to figure out how to find a piece of that
that you feel comfortable sharing if you're trying to share online in the first place.
I feel comfortable asking this now that it's technically also an American company.
But is there ever a fear that maybe there's like a spy from TikTok or like there's like someone
from another social media company who's trying to like.
I'm sure all of that happens. That definitely happens.
Think so?
Oh, I'm sure there are companies that have people go. I'm sure there's, I mean, I'm sure even
governments have done it or tried to do it at times.
I think we try to take security really seriously, which is why we, you know,
lockdown access to data in a bunch of different ways.
We track everything.
We'll try to be really, really careful.
But at our scale, that's inevitable.
Really?
Yeah, it's wild.
So you got to come spies out there, huh?
I'm not saying.
You're going to get some of the reciprocity here.
I'm saying, no.
No, I'm just saying that we are honest about the risks.
I'm sure people do it.
And we try to reduce the chances of anything bad happening.
Wow, so interesting.
That's amazing.
I would be a terrible spy.
Imagine me just undercover at TikTok working for Instagram.
They'd catch me day of.
Adam, what's next for Instagram?
Like, what is, like, is there like something enormous on the horizon?
Or is there like a new North Star?
Like, I just feel like you guys are so great at pivoting with the times and always sort of find, like figuring out what's next.
Like, what is next?
There's a lot going on right now. I think the, well, I want to acknowledge up front that I know it's frustrating when Instagram changes. You feel like it's yours or you got used to it or you got good at it and all of a sudden it feels like we pulled the rug out from under you. The flip side is if we didn't evolve, then we would be irrelevant. There's no way I would be, you'd ask me to be here today or I'd be here today if we didn't have stories or reels or recommendations or DMs. If we were just a feed of square photos with filters, it would.
we would have kind of fallen by the wayside.
The thing, so we're always trying to evolve,
but stay true to our core identity of, you know,
connecting people over creativity.
But the thing that I'm personally really excited about right now
is if a big part of what we do
is help people explore their interests,
get connected to creatives and whatever they're into
and then talk about it with their friends,
I think a really interesting question is how can you more actively shape that?
You know, we talked about talking to the algorithm before.
So actually, this week, we started to test out this,
sort of tune your algorithm feature.
It was inspired by a meme on threads two years ago,
which was called Dear Algo.
So all these people were just writing to the algorithm,
like, please stop showing me friends of my high school friends' kids,
you know, like stuff like that,
stuff that we might not actually be able to deliver on.
But some of this new technology, particularly around AI,
there are opportunities now where we can both make the algorithm
more human understandable and malleable.
So, what we're starting with is relatively simple.
You can see what we think you're interested in.
And then you can add things that we may have missed.
And you can remove things if we're wrong about things.
Or you can just even say, I don't actually want to see anything about whatever it is.
Maybe you're just like, you know, I quit American football.
I just don't want to see anything about football.
You can actually just do that.
Sure.
And it's pretty fun to actually go and look and see what we think you're into and then go make some corrections.
And then once you do, right now it's just in reels.
when you're scrolling through reels,
well, if we showed you something that you asked for,
let's say you asked for parenting advice.
It would literally say with a little, you know,
tag parenting advice,
so you can see that you're getting it
because you asked for it.
Right.
And so this idea of shaping your algorithm
is something I'm very excited about
and is really only possible at scale
over the last year or so.
So we're just starting to test this
with a very small percentage of people in the US to start,
but I'm hoping to get that out over the next couple months.
And is it true?
Like, I've heard something to the effect of
I think Tyler Cowan,
was talking about this on the Rick Rubin podcast.
You know, I listen to economists.
I'm well-rounded.
I didn't graduate high school.
Rick Rubin's got some long pods.
Long pods.
Yeah, he's an interesting, brilliant cat.
He's smart.
He's very smart.
And they were saying how originally, you know,
the big tech companies were trying to,
especially social media companies,
were acquiring these AI engineers
and compensation packages
that look like $10, $15 million, right?
Right. But now they were saying like it's getting to a point where of this small group of like true AI cutting edge engineers, these guys are like making hundreds of millions of dollars. Like the offers have become so insane because someone high up at these companies can go, you know, if this person can give us such an edge on the AI of it all like, yeah, like let's just do it. Like it's it makes sense. Like is that where we're getting with AI. It's just such an extreme.
field of upside?
Yes and no.
So most of what you read about in terms of the offers are greatly exaggerated, but it still is
a lot of money, so I don't want to pretend like it's not.
I think that some of these foundation models and cutting edge model work is, there's really
a small group of people who's really good at it.
And so there's an immense amount of competition to hire that talent, which is what's driving
up the cost of, you know, hiring these people.
but it's pretty wild because it's some of these techniques are decades old,
but a lot of it are just brand new and novel,
and everyone's kind of learning on the fly.
So a lot of this talent, and there's not a lot of it overall,
is also really young.
These are young engineers.
Like 20s?
Yeah.
A lot of them are in their 20s.
Ivy's still?
Like Ivy League kids?
Ivy League kids or maybe not?
Maybe not.
I mean, some of them, it's people, it's not something you can go learn in school.
So because it's so new,
it's a bunch of techniques and technologies
that are evolving very quickly.
So it's people who are very quick learners
who are willing, who actively experiment.
It's a much more scrappy type of engineer
or researcher really than what we, you know,
most of the value is historically hired,
which are much more like,
this is the right way to build a database
that serves this many millions of people
over this many data, you know,
these many data centers.
But there's like a right way to do it.
you could write a PhD about it.
This is not that.
There are PhDs about the research for sure who work in the research area,
but the people who are building the applied stuff,
it's a small group of people.
They're very young.
They're very scrappy.
It's kind of wild to see them do what they do.
Wow.
Well, Ben, Ben's lost to chat GPT.
We've lost Ben.
I haven't used Google in a year.
I mean, it's just, it's literally.
I have not used Google in a year.
I have a question.
It's chat, GPT for sure.
And I love chat.
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Rings.
Like, or is it called the ring or Instagram rings?
Rings.
Rings.
Just rings.
The award.
Just rings.
Just rings.
Josh, you've heard of rings?
No, what is this?
Another award I'm not nominated for.
Yeah, ring.
Well, we need to find out how we get nominated.
Rihid.
Oh, really.
Rings is the Emmys of Instagram.
They are awarding creators.
They have a format.
And we wear nowhere to be found.
We get it.
Give it to I show speed.
What's the same thing?
He's so talented.
Something like that.
Something like that.
Oh, man.
Oh, God.
When is that?
So we just did up first.
It happened.
It happened.
It happened.
No, we lost.
We lost. It's over. We lost. We won nothing.
We started small.
The idea was to try to recognize creatives from different countries and in different
verticals and do something small to start.
I don't think you can go out of the gate if you want this to matter long term and try
to blow it out of the water.
You've got to build it up and earn that credibility over time, so we'll see how it goes.
But we had about 12 or 13 judges who nominated people plus a bunch that we pulled just from
Instagram.
and then they voted, and then we had 25 winners.
We just had a dinner in New York about a week or two ago,
and we gave them an actual ring designed by this amazingly talented
designer named Grace Wells Bonner out of London.
Actually, she got hired to be the creative director for MES Men like the next week.
And we also gave them a couple kind of fun little things in Instagram.
So they can, they get their story ring is a different style.
You know, a ring.
They can make their profile any color they want.
So if you stumble upon one of these profiles and it's just green or wild yellow that they're one of the winners.
And there's one or two more things going to come out for them over the next couple months.
But just try to give some of the most interesting creatives and smaller ones, they're flowers.
Some of the judges were pretty big names, but we tried to find up and coming talent on the creative side.
That's cool.
Super cool.
Yeah, I like the small.
I like you awarding smaller creators.
Because pretty much whatever Ben and I are sending back and forth,
other than the New York City mayoral race,
is Ben and I is sending, like, these people have 40 followers,
but we're like, this is maybe some of the great comedy.
That's the best stuff.
Yeah.
When you can find a small crater who just crushes,
that's, I think that's the good stuff.
Oh, yeah.
And news anchor fuckups, Josh.
Have you seen these recently?
The news anchor flip fuckups.
Shepard Smith.
Yeah.
The woman reading litigues.
Have you seen that one?
She's trying to pronounce a town.
Oh, no.
She just goes lit tits and they're like, it's let it's.
I just saw a reel this morning.
It was just mispronunciations, not news anchors in a row.
Just getting progressively worse and worse.
The one I can remember was this guy read manslaughter as man's laughter.
It's so good.
They're so good.
All of them are so far.
Funny.
Can we, can I put you on the spot?
Please.
Can we know the president of Instagram screen time?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Oh, no.
Fascinating.
Do I have it?
I saw you with, yeah.
There we go.
Yeah, I was trying to figure out where you were going with that.
I was like, wow, he's really asking his salary.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure that's public.
I'm a share owner.
I can find that out right now.
Oh, my.
Please.
Let me call my rep at Robin Hood.
No.
Okay.
Where is it?
Where's screen time?
Do you move screen time with the new one?
Here it is.
Got it.
Okay.
So,
average this week,
four hours and 19 minutes a day.
Stop it.
What the hell?
You're the president
of the biggest social media company
in the world,
and I'm double on my phone.
Yeah, well.
Yeah.
Why he's the president?
He uses your phone.
No.
It doesn't, maybe, is this,
no,
I think that's,
I mean,
that's what it says.
I didn't,
this phone.
is new, so I don't have Sundays,
so maybe it dragged the average down,
but I think it does it properly.
Can that be?
And how much time on Instagram?
Well, it puts all of the,
because they have the dev builds
for all the meta apps,
they put them all together.
Okay.
I can't really see that.
Plus, I spent a lot of time
on my desktop on it,
so it probably underestimates it.
Wow.
I'm not a big Instagram desktop guy.
I'm not, is it,
what's that experience like?
For me, it's work,
because I'm using it to like,
like I said,
I like to go into the Request's folder,
so I'll go in there,
When I'm working, if I'm between meetings, I'll go there and I'll just go through a bunch of requests and send a bunch of replies.
And what does a day look like for you, like an average day as the president of Instagram?
It's a very strange job.
So it could be, it just, I mean, there's a, how do I explain this?
There's a few modes of operation.
There's one like what a typical day looks like.
So a typical day would be like, go to the office, you know, obviously wake up, wake up the kid.
Well, they wake me up.
Feed them breakfast.
Get them out of the house.
We talked about the kid's stuff before.
or maybe before the recording.
The first 90 minutes is 100%
about these three boys
who don't listen to me.
Oh, Dad, I want cereal.
I'm the president of Instagram.
Can you get the lucky charms?
Come on with Adam White.
That was good.
I love him out of him.
He's going on.
He's a sweetheart.
He's a buddy.
He's a sweetheart.
Josh is.
He talks about him a lot.
Congratulations,
Ed.
It's a big win.
Oh my God.
It says nightmares about Adam White.
No, you go to the middle of it.
Adam.
Okay, so a difficult day is just a bunch of meetings and a bunch of spreadsheets and email.
It's like I'll meet with my staff, the people work for me directly.
I'll do a couple product reviews, so teams who are working on things.
Like maybe a team is working on like a new safety feature.
Like, you know, we have a team who worked on teen accounts, which launched last year.
So I'll meet with them to go over their roadmap.
I'll go represent Instagram within meta at other meetings.
So maybe there's a leadership meeting across the execs from all the family,
all the app leads to talk about something.
A one-on-one with someone, it's very schizophrenic.
It could be from safety to a new creative feature to meeting a creator,
to having a one-on-one to, you know, I don't know, whatever else comes up.
But then that's one mode of operation.
And then the other mode is everything gets flipped on its head.
Like, I'll be on the road.
So, you know, I'll go to India and I'll meet with a bunch of creators,
do it, we'll host an event.
I'll do a meeting with a minister or a policymaker.
I'll do some press, you know,
and then I'll get on a plane to go to New York
and it'll be completely different three days.
You know, so it can be, and that's very,
like everything is different for between two and ten days
and then I go back to my normal routine.
Do you get briefed in the morning?
Like, does your team go, like,
here's what happened in the last 24 hours on Instagram or here?
Oh, no, that sounds nice.
No, I have a bunch of dashboards that I look at.
So in the morning, I will almost always start by getting a sense of, you know, my inbox.
So, you know, I get a lot of emails.
And then I'll take a look at what's, what, how the platform is doing.
So I'll look at, all right, like how, you know, are people using it, you know, more or less?
Are they sharing more or less?
You know, what does it look?
How do the trends look in different countries?
Is there something unexpected going on to just sort of ground myself in the data?
And what happens when, like, you get a call that Kanye's popping off, right, on, on Instagram?
I'm sure people are going to love three Jews talking about Kanye.
But, like, you know.
What could go wrong?
It's a part of, or he just came to mind, but, like, someone with a massive amount of followers is starting to go, is be slightly erratic.
What does that chain of command look like?
what actions are taken?
So if someone, so even if you're Kanye,
if you're or anybody who's a big account,
if you're violating the community standards
and the kind of isn't allowed on Instagram,
it'll get taken down.
So that's not really much of a conversation.
If someone is like pushing the boundaries
or starting to get a little,
you know, it looks like they might be going in a weird place
or something's off, it's the partnerships team that'll handle it.
So they'll like try to talk to them.
And they'll be like, hey, just so you know,
like this is what's allowed, this is what's not allowed.
Right.
Try to make sure that they have good information so they can make informed decisions about
what to do or not do on the platform.
And then, but ultimately they get to decide.
And then we have to try and do our best to balance both speech, which we believe in
deeply and we think it's super important, but also safety, which matters a ton.
But it must also be, you know, when you're going to lock someone out of their account
that's a super public person, I'm sure there's,
there's a big conversation right of how close to the edge are they getting?
Yeah, yeah.
We'll try to just make sure we don't make any mistakes.
So if it's someone, if it's a major account, we'll just try to make sure.
Because we make it, I mean, there's millions of things reported every day, if not more.
So there's systems that try to do this at scale.
There's both classifiers and technology, but also tens of thousands of people who look at
content and make decisions, their content moderators.
But if it's a major account, we'll just try to really make sure that we don't make a mistake.
We'll double, triple check it, make sure someone's senior looks at it.
And it's like, no, this is or this is not violating.
Right. Good to know.
It's more costly to make big accounts.
So we try to invest more to make sure we make less mistakes.
But we want to make less mistakes everywhere.
It's not good for us ever to make a mistake.
I mean, you think about someone like, who is the number one person, Ronaldo on Instagram?
By followers?
Yeah.
It might be.
I think it might be.
I mean, I actually think that Instagram account might be the biggest, is the biggest, but that's not really fair.
So Ronaldo is one of the biggest.
Why is that not fair?
just because it might not get as much engagement
as someone with less followers?
No, it's just, it is on Instagram.
You expect people to go find and search for Instagram.
I think it's just...
I'm surprised that you guys didn't pull a U-2
on, like, what release was that?
On the Apple, on the Apple product.
Like you pre-following?
You got, yeah, like you got the nano
and that stupid U-2 album was on it.
Every time you plugged in your phone
into your car for like five years.
years that one YouTube song.
Yeah, it was bad.
Yes, it would play bad.
Like, I'm surprised that when you, I'm surprised that when you download Instagram,
you're not automatic.
Like, I'm surprised that Instagram doesn't have three billion followers.
No, I think it's good for us to, to, I mean, look, it would be, it wouldn't be crazy.
People have done it.
But I think it's good for us to experience what it's like to actually try to use the platform.
And that builds empathy, but also just understanding what's working and what's not.
There's not that many people who work at Instagram who have large followings.
because maybe two or three of us.
So actually, I find bugs all the time
that the team doesn't find
because they don't have the same experience
because they don't have thousands of people
messaging them angry things.
So their DMs just look very different.
The request folder loads just fine for them.
And I'm like, this is slow as hell.
Like, we got to fix this.
Can you ever reply with a little sass?
Just a little.
I think about it all the time.
I think about it all the time.
I have recently.
Really?
Give me a good example.
Kalila. Kalila was a little sass.
That was cute.
I work with a foundation called Feed the Streets in L.A.
We're very small grassroots.
We do four feeds a week on Skid Row, MacArthur Park, just helping the harness.
I mean, that's like where they needed it most.
Yeah.
And it's great.
And it's just a group of us.
And so when I'm there, I always will try to post something because I have 17 million followers.
Like can't hurt.
Yeah.
And also, we don't have a social media team.
Yeah.
And someone wrote me something to the effect of, like, feeding the homeless and posting it on your
social media, what a loser.
And I was like, this will not stand.
Someone said something on the internet somewhere I disagree with.
I must engage.
I was like, brother.
So I wrote him back.
I said, hi.
I was like, so glad you discovered feed the streets on social media.
as many of our volunteers have because of posts like this,
I said, please feel free to join us any time.
And I ended it with, I'm there every week.
Come find me, dog.
Oh, man.
I didn't write, come find me, dog.
But, you know, it was inferred.
No, I don't think that.
I don't think it's, I don't think it would go well for me to get sassy.
So I think I should just keep it straight.
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I have a very random question. With three billion users, do you guys ever think about incubating products?
Like obviously, like you guys are the marketplace for advertising.
You have creators advertising,
you have creators launching their own brands.
Like you could obviously have the greatest VC incubation arm of CPG products of all time.
Like is that ever a thought?
Not really.
I mean, we've talked about it.
I think in general we would rather be a marketing platform for the people who are going to be better
at building products at us to market and find out.
for those products. I think in general, it's a, it's a very fortunate opportunity for us to be a
platform. It doesn't come without its responsibilities. There's a lot of responsibility for it,
but it's nice to not have to deal with producing much hardware outside of the data centers.
It's nice not to have to produce a ton of content outside of our own channels. I think a platform
is just a remarkably amazing business. Now, look, as a company, we do get a
to other industries, right? You know, we make hardware with, you know,
these sort of smart glasses and the AR glasses and we've done obviously virtual reality
headsets. Patagonia jackets. Patagonia jackets. I saw that one that we're way together.
But for Instagram, I think we like to try to, we like to try to keep it focused.
I feel like Instagram is too complicated as it is. In general, I'm trying to figure out ways
for us to do less things and do them better. And so I think focus is really a major part of the
ESOS that Kevin and Mike really started the company in the group with. And so I want to make
sure we stay true to that. But it has to be so hard to stay that focused, right? Like I, again,
this is why I should never be the president of Instagram. But with three billion users, like,
you could take out Uber tomorrow. Like, you can just, you can just build Uber. Like, the hardest thing
is acquiring three billion people. Yeah. Yeah, no. It's mind blowing to me. It's, it's an immense
amount of reach and opportunity. But I also think we often underestimate what it takes to do
something well. And so I still feel like we don't do most of what we should do as well as we should.
I'm constantly feeling like we should be doing better. I'm constantly feeling like I should be doing
better. Maybe that's just my character trait or flaw. But I would much rather get to best in
class across the key things first before expanding to something else if I could.
This is one of our last two questions. This is, you know, this is asked during all presidential
elections and you're a president.
Definitely not a president, but let's do it.
What keeps you up at night?
Oh my God, all I do is worry.
About Instagram.
About Instagram.
How many things do you want?
How many things do you want?
Like what could cut, like what's the call you fear?
A server went down.
Like Adam Wahee moves to TikTok.
I don't know.
I still go back to Adam.
I think most.
Most of my concerns latter up to us, I think, failing to adapt as the world changes around us.
So, you know, we're a big company.
The team is big.
The team is thousands of people.
The companies, you know, tens of thousands of people.
And usually what happens when you're in a position like we are is that not that competition
is in a risk.
Sorry, it's not that competition is a risk.
Competition is a risk.
But what really happens is competition adapt to the world as it changes faster than you do.
So whether it is, you know, minimizing the bad,
so addressing safety concerns and keeping people safe on the platform,
or it's maximizing the good,
leaning into whatever the new trend is on how people entertain themselves
or connect with friends, you know, if you don't move quickly,
someone else will.
And you might move slower because you're too risk-adverse
or you're too worried about, you know, revenue this quarter,
or you are not connected with what the trends are that are happening,
or there's too much regulatory burden,
or there's too much infighting or complacency.
It almost always ladders up to failing to adapt.
And so I worry most of my fears are about us missing things that are important.
Are there opportunities to maximize the good or minimize the bad?
And then that really adding up over time and getting the better of us.
Yeah.
You need to be more like that, Ben.
I definitely do.
You're the president of this spot.
I think you're doing great.
He is.
Thank you.
I appreciate the real business man.
You know, I'm the actor kind of.
The talent.
Of course.
The talent.
Just double clicking on that for one second.
I just, as you have three kids, Josh has three kids, I have a baby boy.
We spoke with this on the last podcast.
Like, when are we going to allow our kids to even have phones?
It's a good question.
And Josh and I are big proponents of really, really, really fucking late.
Yeah.
And you're talking about like Instagram for teens.
Like, how do you approach?
like there's there's two sides of the coin right of course make instagram safe i'm sure that's something
that keeps you up at night but on this on the flip side of that like just like these constant dopamine
hits no matter how safe instagram is for kids phones in general like do you have a do you have a
perspective on that like like when should kids really be downloading apps when should they be
getting smartphones do you have a perspective there yeah i mean i would say a few different things
and then maybe i'll take off my instagram hat for a second
and just focus on me, Adam, as a bad.
I think it's important to be honest about the fact
that every kid is different,
and their needs and their risks are different.
I wouldn't be surprised if I don't feel
that my three boys are already at the same age
for smartphones or for social media.
They're so different.
You only have one, so you probably don't know this yet,
but you've got three.
There's no better lesson on the question of nature
versus nurture than having three,
and you're like, you are all completely different.
I'm pretty sure I raise you more or less the same.
Yeah.
And so I think it's about, one, understanding your individual child's needs.
And then two, trying to meet those needs.
But for me, I think what matters is boundaries.
I think it's super important for parents to set boundaries in general.
My mom always used to tell me when I went out of the house as a high school kid,
you always say moderation, which I thought was like a reasonable but realistic ask.
But for me, with my kids, they're not old enough for social media.
They're 9, 7, and 5.
but they have iPads, they play video games.
And for me, it's like, okay, well, what are the rules, right?
They can only play it on the weekends.
They have to earn their time.
So, you know, for every 30 minutes of homework that they do, they're in 30 minutes.
And I'll never take the time away because I used to do that,
and that was wildly disregulating.
And that ended up really badly for everybody.
But it's capped.
And so they know it.
They know they're not allowed to play until 7 a.m.
So they don't have an excuse to come into my room at 5 a.m.
and wake me up to try to get on an iPad.
So I just create boundaries.
But it's hard.
But I would want to acknowledge, like, it's much easier said than none.
We're trying as a platform to provide tools to help parents enforce those boundaries.
So you can actually say, my teen can only use Instagram on these days or for this amount of time.
You can actually, you know, set that up and then we will enforce it on your behalf.
But I think that combination of understanding an individual child's needs and risks
and then setting up clear boundaries, I think is maybe the two most important pieces of advice I would give a parent
when you're trying to decide, when is your kid ready for a phone?
Or a lot of kids, I know my kids don't have them yet,
are getting smart watches because the parent in the city wants to know where the kid is.
Well, you know, access to the internet.
Like, my kid wants access to the computer now
because he likes to do research about Pokemon and things.
And honestly, you know, if he can open up Safari,
he can, and he's pretty smart, he can get, he can find anything.
And so it's not just about social media or even phones.
It's just if you have access to the internet,
internet, you have access to anything that you could find on the internet if you want looking
for it. So I think, you know, there's, it's important for parents to set up boundaries and
to educate their kids and to think about their kids' individual needs. Yeah. Isn't it crazy
Pokemon was big for us and now it's big for our kids? I cannot believe how big it is.
They love it. They obsessed. Yeah. My kid can rattle off like the evolutions of any random
Pokemon from like any series. He just like studies them for fun. Like my kid, he just got a shiny one.
I took notes.
I was like, you gotta meet your kids
where they're like, explain this to me.
It's complicated.
It is.
The card game is really complicated.
Yeah.
There's a lot going on.
Okay, so before our final question,
what are you at the moment of the week?
I just want to say here officially,
there is a such thing as shadow banning or there isn't?
So it means different things to different people.
Okay.
People use that term to just say
they're not getting as much reach as they think they deserve.
There are instances.
in which we will limit someone's reach.
So if you've posted a bunch of content
that got taken down recently,
if you're not,
if you're posting content that doesn't violate
our community guidelines,
but we don't,
but violates our recommendation guidelines,
so we won't show it to people
who don't follow you.
You will have limited reach,
but you can see it.
You can go to profile,
settings, account, status,
and you can see if there are any issues
on your account,
and then you can try to either appeal them
if you think we made a mistake
or remove the content
if you, you know,
see that that's why you're not being recommended,
anymore. And so you can go see it. So, but yes, your account can have its reach limited,
but you can go to profile settings, account status, and then see what's going on and then
act on that information. And then once you correct it, I find there's, there've been a few times
and it's really the only times that I've ever posted anything political. I'll just see just, it's
just a downtrend in, in reach. Yeah. After I post any, and it's rare, maybe every couple of
years. And then I just give it a couple days and it like shakes out. Like it sort of has to find
its medium, but it takes like a week or two. So what's probably happening there without looking
into your specific account is it's not that you're posted about politics. We're like, no, we want
a downrank politics. We don't do that. It's that a lot of people who followed you because you don't
normally post about politics didn't follow you for your political opinions. Right. And so maybe we were
less likely to interact or like or share that when they saw it.
And so it looks like it's doing less well to us than the normal piece of content.
We don't even know if it's about politics.
It's just getting less engagement per impression than your average post.
And so it does less well because we just think it's less interesting to other people.
Whereas there are accounts who post about politics all the time.
And that's why people follow them and they tend to do well in general.
So if you really pivot subjects often, you know, either two or away from,
something politics or otherwise,
you can often see your reach go down
because it's just because that's not why people followed you in the first.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.
You should just know why it's happening.
Good to know.
That's it.
No more endorsements from Josh Pack.
Okay.
It's funny.
It's funny, Josh.
When I write a political McGilla on Instagram stories,
it gets the most reach out of anything.
I'm not even kidding.
But you,
when I post like a static with text on stories,
it destroys.
versus when I do of it.
It's so weird.
It's like, like, destroys.
Some people find photos do better for my following videos.
Most people find the opposite,
but I definitely hear regularly from creators
who find that either carousels and feed
photos or stories or photos and stories
do better for them than videos.
I hear that regularly.
Yeah.
But my dear Ben, I must say,
you are, like, I know you always see you're not political.
I would say you're political adjacent,
and I don't think that's negative,
but I think you make sure
when you feel passionate about something you speak up?
100%.
I guess it was more to what Adam said, which is, I don't think anybody followed me for my
political opinions or for my commentary.
So the fact that they do so well had me thinking, is it simply the format that I'm putting
text on, like, that it's not a video versus what I'm actually saying?
I don't know the answer, but I just always found it incredibly interesting that like
a story like that will get 400,000 views.
And it's like, that's a lot of views.
A third of my reach.
Like, why is it's, why is it so big?
Yeah, because your feed is like, goes from, look at this big canish to what's Gavin Newsom
thinking.
Yeah.
Yes, we got them.
Honestly, that's true.
It goes from a salami to Mamdani.
Oh, there it is.
Should we get to What are you nuts, Ben?
What?
Oh, yeah.
Absolutely, Adam.
This is gripes with people, places, and things, whatever sticking in your craw.
San Francisco, you're a walking, what are you nuts?
You absolutely have one.
Okay.
What do you have one?
We can go first.
This is our final question.
So we each do.
Do you want to think about it?
I can tell you the first one that came to my mind, but I'm also happy to let you guys go first.
Let's see what this is all about.
Okay.
Okay, fine. Yeah, fine. But if one popped into your head that was good, feel free.
Oh, yeah. I'll give you. So I just, I don't want to sound like a bad dad, but, but my seven-year-old is the first thing that popped into my head. So my wife doesn't get up early. I usually get up before she does. And I'm kind of on breakfast duty. She comes down. And at seven, I mean, it's all, all morning from six a.m. on, it's unbelievable with this one. So first, he will, I don't know why I should say this on being recorded, but he will come into my room at around,
Six on the dot.
He'll come into my bathroom and he'll take his morning poop.
Solid.
He has a bathroom.
There's no reason for him here.
At least now he's old enough, but he used to yell like,
well, someone wipe my butt.
That's how I wake up at 5.50 in the morning.
And then it's just a fight for the next 90 minutes.
It's like, you know, he punches his brother in the back of the head for no reason.
He won't eat his whatever.
It's eggs and bacon.
Who doesn't like bacon?
And then the thing that really gets me is that like $7.55, we leave at 8.
I'll be like, all right, everybody out, like, shoes and socks.
I'm like, I'm like, done.
I need to get you guys out of that.
Shoes and socks.
Everyone shoes and socks on.
And then, you know, I shepherd them over.
And he will just turn around, walk straight to the couch, and then pick up the remote and turn on the TV.
And then yell at me, where's the baseball game?
And I'm like, what do you?
First of all, there's no baseball game.
It's 8 in the morning.
Like, we just said everyone, your brother's,
by the, he's getting his shoes on, like, his ability to completely ignore me entirely.
Great.
It's unbelievable.
I have this, the contrast between going to work and saying the wrong thing and having
50 people go in the wrong direction for a month and fighting for like fifth most influential
in my household.
It goes like my seven-year-old, my seven-year-old, my nine-year-old, my five-year-old,
and me and the nanny are battling for fifth on a daily basis.
It's like unbelievable.
I just wish, like, I had a little bit more sway at home and a little bit less at work.
but he's the one who's always humbling.
It's just, he just walks away.
You're like, go left.
He's like, I'm going to go right now
and just walks away.
Sorry, it drives me nuts.
It's different than we're nuts.
No, it's perfect.
And the next time he does that, you say,
what are you nuts?
Yeah.
You'll throw that right at me.
We're late for school.
Showhays pitching a no-hitter.
Yeah.
Son, you're deline.
We've got to go.
That's literally my life every morning.
I love it.
That's a great one.
My what are you nuts moment.
I was at Equinox the other day on the treadmill.
And I was very proudly, Josh knows, three and a half speed, 12 incline, 30 minutes.
I'm grueled.
A good, low intensity of steady state.
Corner of my eye, I see an older gentleman, probably 60 years old.
You see him.
Two drumsticks.
drumming, drumming.
He's sitting, he's next to like a machine, air drumming, drumming,
drumming.
All of a sudden, I see he takes a stick, throws it against the floor, he tries to catch it,
and he misses it, it bounces away.
He goes back, he's drumming, he throws it against the floor,
he tries to catch it, he misses it.
He's drumming, he throws it against the floor,
he finally catches it, he goes, yeah!
And he is just practicing, he is practicing drumming,
Airpods in, like, full endurance-level drumming,
at the gym fully air drums.
What are you nuts?
Okay, this is Equinox.
Do you know where the fuck you are?
Are you out of your goddamn mind?
Like, what are you even doing?
Like, everybody is looking at him like, this guy is,
this guy is crazy.
And he is just AirPods in drumming.
And like his foot, you can't see my foot.
They can see my foot.
You guys can't see my foot because of the new Mac
and the way it zooms in on my face so close.
He's like doing the pedal with his foot
and jamming.
His wrists, insanity, completely nuts.
I feel like you've got to say hi to that guy.
No, he's going to shiv me on the way out.
I have no interest in saying hi to that guy.
Literally a little knife comes out of this one of his drumsticks.
I have no interest in that crazy man.
My Woody Nuts is, as we all know, I'm a Costco daddy.
Love a Costco.
Love a sample.
Look, one sample per person is Woody Nuts.
if your sample is off the charts,
be proud and let me get another.
What are you nuts?
Let me go for round two.
What's the big deal?
It's a sample.
Like, you're not going to go under from a sample.
And I don't,
because I do go for a second
and we got to do the no eye contact
where I just look away
and then I just go like,
I act like I'm on call
or I'm looking at my watch.
But like, can't I just like look at you dead in the eyes
and go, that was fabulous.
I'll have another.
What are you nuts?
I used to do that, Josh.
I'm sure you did this too.
As overweight youth, I would walk around,
I would walk around the mall,
and I would like grab like a nice sesame chicken taster
from the Chinese place.
And then I would come back around with my hood up.
And I would grab another one.
Oh my God.
No.
Sir, are you in a hit Tifa?
No, I'm just fat.
I'm just starving.
I would go back.
And I would.
I will go back and I'll take two extra, but then I'll also take the thing and buy it.
That's like my cover.
It's like, all right, I will buy these.
Good move.
Whatever popcorn things, but I'm also going to take a couple extra.
I feel like that gets me the cover I need.
Smart.
That's why he's a surprise.
That balances out well.
Yeah.
Thank you for doing this.
Adam.
Yeah, it's been an absolute.
It's been an absolute pleasure, Adam.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Anything that you want to plug, anything that you want to say before we hop off.
No, I just appreciate the time.
I think it's parenting is tough.
Little humor goes a long way.
So I was excited to come and meet you all.
So thank you for having me.
Thanks.
Adam Mosseri is a good guy, folks.
Listen to this podcast.
This is five stars.
Otherwise, what are you nuts?
Listen to us wherever you get your podcast.
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Mondays and Thursdays,
we will see you next time.
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