Good Guys - See ya in 2025, Ya Morons!

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Happy Holidays, Morons! We're winding down 2024 with an end of year recap so good it'll make you wish we weren't taking a couple of weeks off. From HIPAA violations to New Year's Celebrations, we dish our thoughts on the past year, recap our top 5 episodes, and voice our hopes for 2025. Thank you all for listening to us, rating us five stars, following us on TikTok and Instagram, watching us on Josh's YouTube, and sharing your Mondays and Thursdays with us, folks. We love ya, and we'll see you next year! Make sure to tune in on January 6th! We'll be taking Season 3 by STORM with a truly incredible guest. You won't wanna miss it- otherwise, what are ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Sponsors: Go to PrettyLitter.com/goodguys to save twenty percent on your FIRST order and get a free cat toy. Tinker, Create, and Innovate with awesome gifts from KiwiCo! Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code GOODGUYS. OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to OpenPhone.com/GOODGUYS  Upgrade your closet with Quince. Go to Quince.com/goodguys for free shipping and 365-day returns on your order. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Safer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Mazumorans, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with a guy who just found out of Vichy died.

It's Ben Saffer. It was planned. I don't know. Who did it, Josh? But it was planned. It was an attack. I was reminded. I was like, oh my God.

I rest in peace of Vici. I absolutely loved him. People are saying that he killed himself. I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. I think he was gunned down too soon. I don't know who wanted it, was out to get him,

but somebody was out to get him. On the mean streets of Yemen, no less. Yes, terrible. It's just terrible. We miss Evichi, rest in peace. Actually, it's funny, I saw somebody's comments the other day under a recent episode

or under one of my Instagram stories, and she's like, I can't wait to hear this on the good guys in two months. And I was cracking up. I was like, oh my God, you know us too well. We're only like a week behind these morons. Yeah, we're a week tops. And by the way, next year, oh, baby, we're going to be so topical.

It's going to be amazing. We're actually not. I think we might be a little further behind because of our editing schedule. If only we could predict the future, then we would be on time. Should we do that? Predictions for the following week at the end of each episode. I love it. I love it.

What's going to happen in politics? Who's going to get canceled? what teams are going to win. Ooh, that's fun. And then we look back and we see how wrong we were. Yeah, like, could you imagine if Luigi, the United Healthcare assassin, we find out that he was working in cahoots with a guy named Mario? I'm sorry, you can't be an assassin and be named Luigi.

You can't. You can't. Like, he needed to change his name before doing it. Also, the fact that, did you know that you could 3D print a gun? Yeah, dude, this is the issue. This is crazy. So we're out here worried about gun laws, but you can 3D print a gun in your house? You don't need to be able to 3D print chopsticks if they forget it when you door dash sushi.

This is an invention. This is a necessity. Not guns. This is an invention. This is a necessity. That is just an unbelievable use of the technology. Can you imagine if you could 3D print duck sauce? No, I can't.

And it's an unbelievable use of the technology. As always, we have to go and ruin things. We have to ruin them. 3D printing guns. What are you nuts? And I don't know if you read his manifesto, but the problem is I read it and I was like, damn, he's right.

Sorry, I don't read anything called manifesto. I'll sit into a one manifesto, okay? Fucking patriarchy. Oh my God. It was like, it was literally, I think he was saying we spend the most money on health care yet were 43rd in terms of longevity. And that's why he killed him. And it's like, okay, I hear you, but killing him only put you in jail forever so that you can't help

anyone. So Luigi, you made a big mistake. You made a big mistake. I just want his accomplices to be a Yoshi, a toad, a Princess Peach. Do you imagine? Yes. Yes. Bowser.

So good. So good. Oh, man. So tell us about your trauma. Tell us about what happened, Ben. Come on. The episode title here is Mercury is in retrograde, okay? Because the crystals are crystalling.

I've had, I'll start with Friday. My United Airlines debacle showed up. My goodness. Got screwed. I spoke about it in the last episode. So I don't want to go into it too deep. I was screwed by United, gets the following week, flying home, four hours delay on Monday. Tuesday night, I'm rushing.

I'm making dinner, making Claudia a nice stir fry. And there was rushing to me, Claudia dinner before Claudia was pregnant. But now the Claudia is pregnant, it's like, I'm hungry now. So I'm like, okay, I'm cutting onions. I'm cutting onions. I'm cutting onions. All of a sudden, I cut off my finger. And when I tell you, these are brand new shun knives.

These are no joke, Josh. These are no fucking joke. I did not cut my thumb. I cut off the tip of my thumb. So much so that I had to go back into the yellow onions and think to myself, is one of these a piece of my thumb or is it a yellow onion? Lo and behold, it was a piece of my thumb. The top left corner clean off.

Okay? Any questions before I continue moving? Just that they should rename the knives as shunda knives. Totally. Too sharp. Way too sharp. I then go, I call my doctor and I'm like, you know, I kept cooking. I bandaged shit. I'm like, it'll be fine. No problem. I call my doctor. And I'm like, do I have to go to the emergency room for this? He's like, yes, you need a tetanus shot. Go. I'm like, okay. I go to the doctor to the emergency room. Shout out Cornell, 68th in York. This is the place. It's where I was born. This is the place. Heaven on earth. I was in and out in 90 minutes. Professional, nice, awesome. Awesome.

You are very busy too. But they were just very professional, had their shit together. It seemed like they cared. Did you get triaged? Yeah. Did they check your blood pressure? Did they check your 0.2? Were you 95 and above?

They checked my blood pressure. You want to guess what my blood pressure was? You were feeling some anxiety. I remember seeing in your IG story, you were like, I'm starting to feel a bit lightheaded, which I'm like, this fool is giving himself a panic attack. And so I would say, I'm going to say 130 over 90. 129 over 84. Pretty close.

Yes, but pretty good. Pretty good. We'll take it. We'll take it, no issues. So yeah, they went through all of it. They checked for whatever reason. I don't know why they checked my temperature. They didn't need to do that.

I wasn't, I didn't have a temperature. I digress. We go in, they clean it. Well, first, they unbandage it and I have to see it. And I'm like, oh my God. I didn't realize that that's what I did to my thumb. The whole top corner is missing, Josh. The whole top corner.

It's indented. This is my thumb. It's indented. They clean it out. I see it. And then all of a sudden she's like, okay, I'm going to put this bandage on it. She didn't say it was going to hurt. She put this bandage on that essentially carterized, which is burning together the skin, my thumb.

She put it on. I screamed because she didn't warn me. I was like, oh, my God. It hurts so much, so much. because you can't stitch it because there's nothing to stitch. It's just open. So the only way to close it is to burn it closed. So they burned it closed, covered it up, and now it's just healing.

And what are you nuts? Just so stupid. Like I felt I was so angry at myself. It was just like, why, man? Why? And then I found out the Mercury was in retrograde. And do I know what that means? Not really, but I believe it.

And did they give you any shit for coming in the first, place? No, they were like, look, this happens all the time. We see it. Thank God, you didn't clip the bone. Thank God you didn't clip your nail. Truth is, this could be much worse. You cut it in like a good spot. It should grow back. You could have a little indent. So you could look at my thumb and think that it's a little special. Okay, a little special. But I could also go to Dr. Diamond and maybe make it a little bit better. So we'll see how bad it is. Full recovery time is three months. short term, I should feel the thumb should start to heal over in about two weeks. You should get a wheelchair for the flight to Florida late next week.

Totally. You see this? I'm on I are. That's funny. That hurts. No, I know that pain. I told this story about the girl. I know I've told this before, but not one of my more shining moments.

I was dating this girl, but it was. how do I say this? I think she wanted to progress more and be more official than I wanted to be. And so I was like 23. She was 26. She was a great person. But like I just thought this was like a casual fun thing. And I think she wanted something more official. But one night she cut her finger badly on a broken glass in her kitchen. And she was like, will you take me to the emergency room to get stitched up? So we're sitting there. She's got her bandage finger. There's a little girl. We're really. like talking to her because she's like looking at us and we're like throwing a ball with her because she's like waiting for her mom who's being seen and she looks at us and goes is this your

girlfriend to me and I stop and go this is my friend she's my friend and I just felt her go oh oh yeah you could have just given it to her the woman was in the ER I'm such a piece of shit I heard Olivia behind the screen go oh That's bad, right, Olivia? It just hurts, but like, I get it, you know? I should have just said it. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by KiwiCo. Picture this, okay?

Picture this. Late 1990s, we were just kids. Maybe kids going to the park, bringing our soccer ball and kicking it around, maybe a frisbee catch, maybe playing basketball in the park. Well, today kids are just standing in front of screens. They're sitting, at screens standing, looking at the TV. I see screens everywhere. I see these kids at dinner. They're literally on their parents' phone looking at screens. No, no, no. KiwiCo doesn't believe

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And look, I have nieces and nephews. I also have a baby right now that's being grown inside of my wife. KiwiCo is important to us. Four nieces and nephews under four years old, okay? They need constant stimulation. And my niece Michaela, four years old, loves cooking. So I recently got her the science of cooking ice cream set. They can make their own ice cream.

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dot-com slash good guys for 20% off six months. Openphone.com slash good guys. And if you have existing numbers with another service, Openphone will port them over at no extra charge. One thing that I want to quickly clarify about this thumb, never did I feel pain. Isn't that strange? I didn't feel pain when I caught it.

I was just looking down and it was literally I was losing liters of blood. When I got to the hospital, I didn't feel pain. The only time I felt pain was when it was carterized. And right now I don't feel pain. There's no pain. Isn't that strange? Mm-hmm.

Just saying, no pain. Just ugly. Yeah. I wonder if it's like the placement of the digit because it's not a, obviously it's one of the furthest things from your heart, right? Like your toes, your fingers. Oh, that's interesting. Yes.

Could be. Top left corner. Whatever. So yes. Oh. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Hopefully I don't die. the middle of the night. Mercury will no longer be in retrograde on Monday, so we're almost out of

the woods. Now, we have the biggest Yenta audience of all Yentas, and God bless them. Thank God. Were they slipping in your DMs left and right, giving you unsolicited medical advice and inadvertently breaking your HIPAA? They were certainly telling me that I was going to get, first it was like, did you get stitches, do you get stitches, did you get stitches? Then the ones that were really smart, they already knew Carterizing, okay? This is a new word for me. I don't. I didn't know about this. I didn't know carterizing. They were like, I think it's cauterize, isn't it? Cotterize?

There's no R. It's not like Coach Carterize? I think it's cotter. Cotter. Cotter eyes? Yeah, welcome back. Cotterize. Okay. Maybe. Whatever it is. I didn't know about this. They knew about it. Everybody said when I, this is actually hilarious. When I said, thank you to Cornell on Instagram because it's nice to shout out a hospital when they do good work because certainly if they gave me a bad experience, I would have read them to filth.

So I told them about this beautiful experience and I got at least 10 isolated messages saying something to the effect of, oh, saying that Cornell is a great hospital is like saying Rolls-Royce is a great car. Like we know their ER is great. Apparently, I had no idea. If you have a problem. This is the ER. This is it. I don't know. Even the former mental hospital, Bellevue downtown, it's beautiful. I mean, New York hospitals, unless you go to like NYU Langone, like in Soho, which is a great hospital. It's just not as pretty. Like some of these New York hospitals are just in stunning buildings. They're stunning buildings. They're really nice. What I had experienced, though, in the past, like, I think the last time I went to an emergency room was Lannix Hill.

And I just remember the lines being so long, and it taking me like five hours and I'm there in pain and I want to be seen. This was really boom, boom, in and out. And the people on call couldn't have been nicer. The guy next to me, it's funny, they put you like just between a thin sheet right next to another emergency room patient. And I just hear the guy over there, he has an itchy foot. Apparently he's been to the podiatrist. He's having some problems. His foot is chronically itchy.

And I hear him say, This is my letting nuts. He goes, yeah, man, athlete's foot runs in my family. And I'm like, athlete's foot does not run in a family. That's good. Maybe you all just like practice dunking your foot in the pool and then putting it raw in a shoe. But athlete's foot does not run in a family. It's not genetics.

It sounds like it runs in their shower. Oh, maybe it does. It does. Oh, my God. Yeah, nasty. Oof. Oh, my God. Have you had athletes' foot?

Have you had athletes' foot? No, Baruch Hashem, I've never had athletes' foot. But I did, I've had a wart on my foot before, which is why if I walk around, if you see me in any public space, I have my own flip-flops on and I'll go. And you know me. I'm an equinox boy through and through. But some of these derelicts are in the, in the schvitz with no flip-flop on. I'm like, that's gross.

It is gross. That is gross. It's nasty. And like I know they say that they thoroughly sanitize these public flip flops. You can. The idea of a public flip flop, that's the same thing is saying that you're going to wear bowling shoes with no socks. Been there. That's disgusting.

Now, your wonderful father, Bruce I saw came to the emergency room. Now tell me, did you call daddy? Daddy. He literally, he happens to live really close to the hospital. Okay. So it was just, I called him. I'm like, dad, because he's a chef. I'm like, dad, you know, have you had this before?

I cut off my thumb. Like, what do I do? And he's like, did you buy the Shunda knives? He's like, yeah, that's terrible. Sorry, I'll meet you. I'm like, you really don't have to meet me. That's cute. It's sweet he came.

It is very sweet that he came. He brought me a fresh baked cookie. But it's funny. He was there. I gave him my chair. chair. He sat. I stood. He was next to me. I'm being seen by the nurse. He goes up to the nurse. He says, you know, my wife has a small rash on her back. Do you mind if I call her? It's like, I'm here talking about my thumb and you're worried about mom's rash. So good. So, no, but he's, he's the best and it was nice

that he was there and me a delicious cookie. Delicious. It was like a marzipan type, almond type cookie. You don't get this from the store. You don't. Well, you only get that. this from Bruce. Speaking of our Yenta listeners and their medical advice, so on a previous episode, I talked about perhaps taking some voice lessons, not to actively lower my voice, but to take any restraint or tension out of my voice the way you would in an acting class or a yoga class working for your overall physical because inacting, the less tension, the better. And a lot of people hold tension in their voice. And we had some, it just goes to show, in my experience, the most educated, qualified people

tend to be the least absolute or sure of themselves. And it's the people who really are not qualified who are like, I know what's wrong. So we had some PhDs. Some speech pathologists slid into my DMs, they go, sounds like it could be this. you might want to try this modality. You might want to try this person. This could be beneficial to you, perhaps maybe. Could be this.

Then I have the sienta, she goes, your tongue tied. You have thrusting tongue. I go. It sounds like the name of a strip club. Thrusting tongue. It's a cundalinguish finishing move. And now for the thrusting tongue. Yeah.

You see or somebody on the song. Not the thrusting tongue. Finisher. So I go, oh my God. I'm like, no, I have an underbite, which is why I have a lisp that I've had since I was four years old. But, and she goes, you're tongue tied. You have thursting tongue. and I should know I'm an oral hygienist.

I know. What is wrong with people? So much. So much. So much. So much. So did you see, have you seen anybody or no? No. We delayed it.

It's good. We delayed it. I have to tell you, Josh. I don't know if we, we, we, I think we've lightly told the people. But Josh wrote an intro song for this podcast that you guys will hear in 2025 that we are both singing on that when I tell you, Josh sent me a sample of him singing on this. Josh is Michael Bublay, if he wasn't mean to his wife.

He's unbelievable. He's the voice of an angel. You don't need anything. You're good. God bless you. Wait to hear Ben singing on it. It's going to be unreal. Best podcast theme song in the game.

I don't know if that's something to be proud of, but it will be good. And produced by the great Super Chris Abraham, who any Drake and Josh heads will know, he's been very instrumental in that music and he's quite talented and it'll be wonderful. Oh, I can't wait. It's going to be good. But dude, no, I just have, I have crippling TMJ that I recently, oh, tell me this, guys, I'm at a loss here. I don't know what to do.

Sometimes I go to my boy, Dr. Serge, for Botox and my master's. Shout out Dr. Serge. Love him. Love him. Westside oral surgery. Love them. West Valley maybe. Sorry, Serge. Anyway. West Valley oral surgery. But I wear a night guard. I do all the things.

So I've even now toyed with taking a beta blocker at night, which is a blood pressure medicine, to make me less anxious. So I'm not grinding at night because I wake up. Do you take magnesium? Not to be one of those yentists. Do you take magnesium at night? Well, I take element. So I take it during the day. Can you start taking five? Can you start? taking 500 milligrams of magnesium every night? Sure, I'll try it. I'll try anything. I take 500 milligrams of magnesium every night and within 45 minutes I'm asleep and my racing thoughts, silence, just saying. Okay, okay. Try it, try it, try it. Continue. I'm in. So I finally for the first

time tried acupuncture with my sister-in-law suggested her acupuncturist, wonderful woman, wonderful time. I just, I just, you know, it's interesting because she puts in the needles all over my legs, my arms, my face, my head. And she goes, I'll see you in a half hour. I go, this is it.

And I have to ask. And before I say it, no, we're not cutting it out. This is not racist. What ethnicity was the person giving you acupuncture? She was a wonderful white girl. I'm out. I'm out. No. But they have to learn. They learn

Josh, this is their profession. This is their calling. This is it. I don't want a white woman giving any acupuncture. I don't want it. But they can and should, but they learn in from like Chinese Eastern medicine universities. Yeah, I'm just saying a Chinese woman never would have left you for 30 minutes. She would have been there by your side. I think so. Talking you through it. She wouldn't have left you. The white woman was overrun. She had 15 patients. at once she placed you pricked you ran to three more it's just a business for them for the chinese it's life it's life the chinese do it better title the chinese do it better what chinese do it better and mercury is in retrograde this would be fun you're gonna you and i

were together right now we go boys night boys night boys night boys night staying in next game watching it on TV. Let's order in Chinese. What's your order? Okay. I am going with a spring roll. Love, a nice veggie spring roll. If we're feeling fat, I'm going with a fried dumpling. Okay. That could be a veggie fried dumpling. That could be a chicken fried dumpling. But the fried dumpling, I'm telling you, you've all been ordering steamed dumplings for too long because it's healthier, but the fried dumpling, the crisp, amazing. Okay. I'm getting a light fried rice, something, a veggie fried rice, a chicken fried rice. Love a fried rice. I'm getting a peanut butter noodle.

Wow. Dan Dan Dan. Dan. Yes. Yes, a cold peanut noodle. Fantastic. Basically a pallet cleanser between courses is the cold peanut noodle for the hot items. We're going to go with the sesame chicken.

We're going to go maybe a beef with broccoli. We're going to go with, I like something orange. Like an orange chicken's really good too. I also like a Kung Pow chicken, like when you get a little spice and a little bit of those peanuts. Yeah. Of course, of course a fortune cookie. We'll go with one of the roasted string beans, Josh, and the brown sauce. I love a roasted eggplant.

I love. That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. We're going to town. Are we having a nice leachy dessert? Are we getting a leachie? Would love it. I would love a cup of leachy nuts.

I'd love it. Or maybe just, I love when they just throw in a whole orange. Like, yeah. And a fortune cookie. And a fortune cookie. Did I miss anything? No. A perfect.

I love Chinese food. I mean, again, you wouldn't do this. I think I would do like a general chow's chicken. Then you need a savory offering, right? So you need those string beans with the beautiful, like the string beans with the beautiful. I'll take a white garlic sauce, I'll be honest. Then maybe, and this is, you wouldn't eat this, a nice sweet and pung and shrimp. I get it though.

Something or a kung pow something, you know? Kung pow. And then. You know, it's really good, Josh, a mooshu. When was the last time you had Mooshu? You know, Mooshu, I think, and sadly, we have covered this. It's not a West Coast thing. I love a moose shoe with the pancake and the hoison total.

By the way, even if we've spoken about it, you can't talk about Mushu too much. There's another episode title, bring back the Mooshu. Yes. We need more Mooshu. America needs more Mooshu. More Mooshu. It's an interactive activity. Imagine, Josh, if we had the Chipotle of Mooshu, we call it.

We call it Mushu. You walk in. You have a huge wrap. You throw on your hoison. You throw on your mooshu. You pick your protein. They wrap it like a burrito and it's huge musho. Love it.

Whoa. And the cabbage is crisp. Delicious. You want beef. You want shrimp. You want veggie. You want chicken. And on Fridays, we do the special Peking Duck.

We go Peking Duck on Fridays. Oh my God. Yes. And if we're in Montana, we go rural. Venison. rabbit, fox, what the fuck ever? We're local. We're absolutely local.

We're picking your local cuisine. We're local kings. You want bear? We'll get you bear. New York, we go rats. No problem. I know people that eat bear and it makes me ill. Oof.

That's not nice. That can't be kosher. You just don't need to eat it. Is it kosher? Is bear kosher? I don't know. I doubt it. I don't know.

Hey, Siri, is bear kosher? Oh man, this is going to be on the cover page of like an anti-Semitic weekly. The Jews are, they're eating the bears. Hey, serious, bear kosher. What, Olivia? I've, it's not kosher. It's not kosher. No split huff.

It's a paw. That makes sense. That makes sense. No split huff. Bear isn't kosher. Okay. Good. Save the bears.

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Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com slash good guys for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash good guys to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash good guys. Well, this is the last episode of 2024. Ben, anything to say? Honestly, this has been an amazing year. That's all. That's all. Like, the podcast brings me so much joy. We work really hard on it. And next year, it's just going to be that much better. Like we're adding in this theme song, I can't even tell you how jazzed I am.

But reflecting on the year, we had some amazing guests. We had some not so great guests. We had some amazing solo episodes. But most importantly, we enjoyed doing every episode. I laugh so hard. It's my hour a day to laugh and to just forget about everything else going on and talk about Mushu. And hopefully you're listening and you're thinking to yourself, oh, you know, I got a really busy life. But for an hour, I get to talk.

talk about Mutsu and Mercury and Retrograde and emergency room visits. Like, it's a reprieve for me. I hope it's a reprieve for everybody else. Olivia, should we talk about some of the big Eps of this year of 2024? I sure think we should. I agree. Yes. What was the biggest episode?

We do know. We do know I've got them all right here. Coming in at number one, do you have any guesses? It's definitely Claudia. The first one? Josh, any guesses? well after i heard olivia go hmm

now i'm questioning did we have anyone Hillary was 2023 Miranda was this year was 23 oh yeah oh 203 at the very end

gotcha no wonder it was such a big year yeah was taylor lotner was taylor lotner was taylor lotner 2024 I believe Taylor was 2023 as well

my god would we pull out all the stops in 23 We have you in finance this year. We're doing fine. Okay, apparently you've never had baked by Melissa many cupcakes. Lover. All right. Coming in at number one, it's Giving Toddler with Paige DeSorbo.

Wow. Oh, yes, that was an amazing episode. Love Paige, so funny from Albany, New York, Queen of the Giggly Squad. Her and Hannah are fantastic. That was a really fun episode. Love her. fun. And then I assume also in the top five is her, her soon to be hubby, the great Craig Conover, not the great Craig Conover that Josh knows, the doctor, but the non-doctor Craig Conover was on the pod,

and he was great. They're great. That one was really fun. Who was number two, Olivia? Number two, open-toed lies with Claudia. So you were right on the money. Claude's up there. Love it. God. The queen, queen B. Who is three? Burn, baby, burn with Hannah Burner. Other part of the Gableley's The women, Josh, I'm telling you, through the roof. Wow. And then coming in at number four, you're dead right on the money. Craig Conover needs an underwear sponsor.

Holy smokes. And who's the fifth, Ian Fydance? We love you, Ian. I love Ian, too. Who's the fifth? Coming in at number five. We have a reality TV star from none other than one Vanderpump rules. Lala Kent.

Christian Doty? Chat. Chat. G.P. Stasi, baby, with Stasi Schroeder. I forgot about that. That was a great episode. Wow. Unbelievable.

This was a long year. We did that one in L.A. That one was really fun, too. I think we did, that's when we did Jake. Jake Shane was this year, too. I think that's a trip. Oh, that episode was an incredible one.

Surprisingly, not in the top 10. But fantastic. Fantastic. Amazing. And if you guys haven't listened to all of those episodes, you should go back and listen. into them maybe once, twice, three times. Non-stop. Just press play and walk away.

Yes. Make a playlist on YouTube and leave it going while you're on your vacation this year. Should we get into some weird stories? Well, I think we'd be remiss to not say that vandals are putting hilarious googly eyes on outdoor sculptures, but local officials aren't laughing. Talk about a site for sore eyes. the city in Oregon is pleading with locals to stop taping googly eyes onto roadside sculptures, as the goofy gag is costing a pretty penny.

Officials in Bend notice the oversight optics taped into metallic artwork of deer and geometric shapes at roundabouts throughout the area. While the googly eyes placed on the various art pieces around town might give you a chuckle, the removal has run upward of $1,500 because of the adhesive on the eyes. It's creepy. It's not not creepy, but it's kind of funny. Let me see. I'd love to show you.

Let me see. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That's nice. It's silly. That's nice. Look, bend, relax. You don't need to spend so much money if you just leave them. They look great.

I agree. They look fine. Bend. Bend a little. Bend. Oh, you're so worried you're going to bend. You might break. Ben. You fucks.

Yeah, well, good for Ben. Well, there was a passenger on a turbulent plane fierce end is near as flight crew hands her cryptic item. Are we dying? A nervous passenger was convinced her plane was going down when flight attendants began handing out a very

peculiar object to travelers. The Polish woman, Jula Vadini, who was traveling to San Jose in Colombia, captured a TikTok video of the moment with the flight crew began passing out electronic candles throughout the plane. Confused, she made the sign of the cross and she blurted out, are we dying on the clip? I was now convinced they gave us candles because they knew we would crash.

She added over text. Now, let's see why they did it. She learned shortly after that there was a logical explanation for the candles as well. Turns out this is a Colombian tradition on the 7th of December. One candle equals one wish. How awesome. Oh my God. That's hysterical.

Jeez. All I have to say is people who are afraid of turbulence. Okay, Josh. I'm sorry. This is going to be harsh. Don't fly. Don't fly. This is a known thing.

Turbulance is not at all dangerous. Nobody has ever crashed because of turbulence. That's right. It's not a thing. Planes bump. You're in the middle of the air. It is windy. The plane's going to go up and down.

It's going to go side to side. Typically, the pilot's going to say, we're entering about 30 minutes of turbulence. On our flight on Monday, the woman next to us was so petrified of turbulence. So petrified. I heard her. She pulled over the flight attendant and she said, if it gets, if the turbulence gets too much, we're going to pull over and we're going to divert to a different airport, right? And the flight attendant's like, no, what are you talking about?

Like, no, we're not going to divert to a different airport if the turbulence keeps up. Like, don't fly if you have issues with turbulence, okay? Don't do it. It's too much for you. You can't do it. No good. That said, for this thing here, Josh, the handing out the candles, they definitely should have prefaced. Hey, we're, we have a tradition.

Woo! Yes. December 17th, we're giving out candles. That's nice. That's nice. But to just hand them out, I would be, I would be. be a little freaked out too. Right. Like if a plane did like a collab with a make your own will service, that would be a little alarming. A little alarming. Just a little. So yeah, that lady

deserves to be freaked out. But if you're afraid of turbulence, stop flying. It's not for you. Did you know that pro backscratchers raking big bucks, but it's not about sex? You have those people with their mind in the gutter. Itching for some R&R. People seeking unconventional relaxation methods are shelling out hundreds of dollars for professional back scratchers. Tony George, the 55-year-old owner of The Scratchers Girls in Miami, charges $130 for an hour of scratching using her three-inch manicured nails, raking them down her client's back, limb, scalps, and even the insides of their ears. Her services are so popular that she also travels to major metropolitan to New York. Los Angeles, Philly to see her clientele.

You notice he didn't mention Boston because there'd just be guys going, oh gosh, that feels fucking wicked girl. Like, fucking scratch me, doll. Gosh, that feels so fucking good. Yeah. I'm in. They don't scratch chest or bellies. That's a mistake.

She requested a man who asked for his nipples to be scratched. Yeah. But the businesswoman insists that there's nothing sexual. about the scratch and she's never broken a nail. I love a good scratch. Oh, God, yes. Love it. Love it.

That said, I could only really get a good scratch, Josh, for so long. And then you'd like it to turn into a stronger rub. So I don't really understand this. Can you, would you like your back scratched for an hour? I wouldn't. I would like diggy. I like this. You see what I'm doing here?

You see this? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is light. That's light. I want tickling. I want to be tickled. And I want to giggle. Now I'm getting sick.

Officer, he's over there. I want to be like diggy on my arm. If there was a machine that could do that, like, Elon, stop making this robot and start making just a diggy machine. Diggy's in. Yeah. Yeah, for that light little tickly arm. Oh, God.

Fantastic. I'm all in. I'm all in. Please. I am all in. Olivia. Professional. Professional backscraps sounds good.

You bullish on Diggy? Diggy makes me tickle too much. That little rub on the light on the arm. Can't do it? No, but my roommate in college, she would like sit next to me while we were doing our homework. She'd make me do that.

Wow. This is a very different pod. This is for Alex Cooper. I got to excuse myself. No, no, no. We're just friends, I swear. No, seriously. No, but she was a big fan of that.

that move. That was something. It'd put her to sleep. Just on the couch. And for me, it's magnesium, you know, to each their own. Josh, I have a best bite of the week. I don't know if you want to hear it, but I do. I went to, I had been once before just for their opening, but I went back. New Tao Group spot. Shout out Noah Tepperberg, John Schwartz, called the Crane Club, Josh. We're going to go when you come. I went to their opening night a couple of weeks ago, but you know, the food. It's never perfect that night, right? I went the other night and it was fantastic, absolutely amazing from the pastas to the steak,

chicken, all this stuff. He's a kosher steak on the menu, this mench, the crane club, 16th and 10th, we're going to go. It's the bomb, the bomb. One thing that he had that I wanted to mention, it was this little, it was like this mushroom risotto rice, like cake situation. I think maybe it's called Orincini is the name of it. topped with truffles and caviar. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Orangeini with truffle caviar. Blue my mind. Wow. Bleu my mind. So delicious. Love it. Shout out.

Love the Tao group. My best bite of the week is two actually. The first because after our failed attempt at the second time for the Jackie episode, I happen to be near courage bagels on the east side at just the right time. And my wife's been craving. these bagels lately and honestly so have I so I've now been eating a lot of courage bagels and I know on an episode I got a little angry with them because it can be a little long but god damn it's worth every second you wake god it's good and the reason that it's long is because it's fresh bacon

baked and fabulous but oh these everything bagels these they do a sea salt sesame they do a rip and dip Courage bagels, shout out, so good. And it's so, like, it's so annoyingly basic of me to be like, I really like courage bagels, but it's so good. I can't get over it. And then the other one was, I don't know if I talked about this. Maybe I mentioned it on the pod, but we took my brother-in-law out for a beautiful dinner right before he had his beautiful little son, Gus, shout out, Will, for a dinner at Ospie in L.A.

Aspie. This is. I don't think you've mentioned it. Tell me. It's Italian food. It's really good. It's like medium to high end. Not like crazy.

It's not like carbon level spending, but the food is outstanding. Did it through Dorcia. Shout out Dorcia. Use my code. I don't know what the code is, but use it. But Dorcia, you get the ill reservations, wherever you want to go at the hottest places. But they do a chicken. It's like a chicken milanese.

but it's a masala, right? So it's like a chicken parm cutlet with like kind of that delicious, kind of creamy, almost like it's like a creamy tomato sauce on top with a little bit of those Indian spices. I mean, yum. Fabulous. Fabulous. Give me 14 of them.

I'll take a case. I'm kind of out, Josh, on chicken payard. I think it's done. Payard or parm? Pot parm. Parm, Parm, bury me in Parm. I was just thinking about chicken pie art as you were saying that. And I'm done with chicken pie art.

I just don't see it. I don't know, you're getting a pounded flat chicken. They're throwing some arugel on top, spruitzing it with a little lemon. It's not for me. Fair enough. Fair enough. So because this is the last episode of the year, Josh, do you have a wish for the new year? Do you have something that you hope happens in the new year?

Is there anything that you're, thinking about that you're like if that happens next year would be amazing no i hope for more rain would you say i hope for more rain you hope for more rain yeah good that's very native of you good thank you you know for the crops good you know they call me agriculture josh the jasha culture no yeah i don't this joke doesn't exactly work anymore because of the tensions between russia and ukraine but I'm going to give it to you anyway because it tells you what I think about New Year's. It's the early 1900s

and they're drawing the lines, the perimeters between, or the borders between Ukraine and Russia. And there's a farmer whose farm is right on the border. His farm is landing right in the middle of the border between Russia and Ukraine. So the guys drawing the border to say, sir, you can

decide, would you like the border on the side of Ukraine or on Russia? Which side would you like to be on? He goes, I would like to be in Ukraine. And they go, you're giving up your citizenship to Russia, Mother Russia. Why? He goes, I just can't take another Russian winner. This is what I think of New Year's. It's just so arbitrary. It's just made up, you know what I mean? So it's hard for me to make resolution. So let's reframe over the next 12 months. You would like something good to happen in your life, right? It's already happening. It's called baby

suffer baby barraha shem yes that's a great one but also fine you did one for me i'll do one for you i hope that page max and shy are healthy happy and have a wonderful year of excitement and that joshy takes him on a beautiful trip thank you yes definitely we're definitely i want to go to canada with them i want to go to vancouver and yeah i just my life you know i'm so i'm really really lucky i'm really lucky and I really love the podcast and I love the people who listen. We love you, Olivia. We love dear media. Thank you. I love you, Ben. You're a mens. You're a mensch. And our relationship is more important to me than this FACTA podcast. So no matter what, I will do right by you before I do right by my wallet, which is why I'm going to need a loan.

But other words, no. I'm here at the loan. The podcast is here until we die. or until somebody kills us, somebody's going to kill us. That would be a great way to go. Look, if you're targeted, at least you meant something, right? You're nuts, bro. That's the thing, though, dude,

we don't mean anything. We're fucking meaningless. We will be a fucking blip. Like, I, no, it's complete nonsense. We're not Mozart. No one.

It's nonsense. It's so good. That's the one thing. And when my friends of mine are lamenting about, you know, like everyone goes through like existential crisis, especially at like kind of our age. I would imagine it starts to lessen once you get in your 40s and 50s, I hope. But it's that. And I imagine it happens to entrepreneurs, right? Because unless you have a nine to five or something that you went to school for a long time for and you know I'm going to be. a doctor for the next 40 years or an attorney, people tend to go a little bit like, fuck, you know, what am I doing? Like, is it going to work out? Am I going to get my next sale? What does the next 30 years of runway for my life look like? What's my legacy? And to that, I always ask the person, is there a chance you're Mozart? Is there a chance you are a late stage prodigy that is unrealized and maybe you're Galileo or Elon Musk.

Like, if not, don't trip because you will be forgotten. In fact, even if you're Will Smith or your, I don't know, who else is someone, Juan Soto of the New York Metz.

You are going, Derek Jeter, you are going to be forgotten because there's only a couple a century. So what's this century? I Einstein, Elon, Martin Luther King, JFK, like, sorry, you didn't make it. So enjoy. Enjoy it. Enjoy it.

Do your best. Stop stressing. I've mentioned my same damn quote a thousand times on this podcast, but worrying about tomorrow's troubles only affects today's piece. I really live by that. Whenever I'm really stressed, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing to yourself? It's cryptic. You do it to yourself.

To just chill. I totally agree. Not everything is that life or death. Again, unless you're a doctor. Don't listen to us. By the way, don't listen to us in general. No, not at all. Don't listen.

All right. What are you nuts? Let's get to our, what are you nuts? Or is that like, but you know what I'm saying? Like, with legacy and stuff, do you agree? Do you agree with that? Of course I do. Olivia, you agree?

I agree as well. My mom actually sent me a video the other day and it was this lady talking about like, do you know the name of your grandfather's father or did you ever get to meet them and just showcasing like how impermanent everything is. So do what you can with right now, enjoy it. Ben your quote, you know, don't worry about tomorrow's troubles today because it's just going to impact that. And just do your best to be present in the moment. I hope everybody has a really wonderful 2025. And yeah. Present in the moment is a great one. One quick thing before what he nuts is I hope to be able to disconnect my brain a little and disconnect from my phone a little bit more.

I've gotten worse this year for sure. And the phone, while it's definitely lucrative for us, it's part of our jobs, it's also poison. So I'd like to remove my phone from me a little bit this year. Oh, what are you nuts? Let's do it. Yes. I've spoken about this travel day endlessly, but one piece that I just want to make sure. Did I talk about the nuts, Josh? Did I talk about the nuts? Yes, they were too hot. They burnt your hand.

I did it already. Was it my $1,400 seat on you? Was it my wedding and nuts? I don't think it was your Woody and Nuts, though. I think you just complained. I think I just complained. All right, look, my Woody and Nuts, I'm sorry. I'm sitting in my seat.

I was forced to pay $1,700 for first class seat. Part of being in first class is that they give you hot nuts. So she goes, but these are not supposed to be scalding. She goes to me, you want some nuts. I'm like, sure, I'm hungry. I paid. I'll take it. She hands me these hot nuts.

Literally third degree burns. I swear my hand turned purple. The cup, she must have taken the whole cup, put it in the oven, broiled these nuts, and then handed it to me. So it's a what are you nuts about nuts? What are you nuts? That's good. That's double. Double.

The other day. The other day I was showing my kids Peter Pan. It was one of my favorite movies from the 50s. And you know, Disney Plus does a disclaimer. Yes, I've seen this. They go, hey, some of the things in this movie that was appropriate or acceptable in the 50s is no longer acceptable or appropriate. We know, but we're not going to edit the film. We're just giving you the disclaimer.

So first, I was like, what are you nuts? these snowflakes. I was like, so fragile. I put the movie on. I go, thank God for this disclaimer. This is inappropriate.

I was like, oh my God. Yeah, there's some crazy shit. Was it the Native, is it the Native Americans? Is it that movie? Right?

It is, right? They like make like the Native Americans look like it's just, yeah, the disclaimer is necessary. I remember I had the exact same experience. I'm like, this fucking. people. I'm never watching Disney again.

And then you watch it and you're like, oh, oh my. No, I'm nuts. Disney was right on and cartoons in the 50s are what are nuts. They are offensive. You're like, whoa. Well, listen, I love you, Ben.

You are a mensch to the highest degree. I couldn't ask for a better co-host. Very lucky to do this pod. Thank you, Olivia, for all your hard work. You're awesome. And thank you to the great listeners of the good guys. We could not do this without you. And listen, tell a friend because of the richer you make us. We're only doing two episodes a week. Sorry, we're not up in the episodes. But the truth is, what, you got something better to do? You know? Listen to the podcast. 2025 is going to be so good. The first episode of the year.

We're not saying who it is, but oh my God. Huge banger. Huge. And I, I'm sorry, Livy, you're going have to find a way to squeeze in our new intro theme song it's not ready yet but it's going to be in there it has to be theme song huge guest january sixth insurrection day we are back baby we're taking the capital we have the guy who stormed the capital shit we should have done that the guy wearing the horns you should have been our first guest yes so yes we'll see you on then folks have a very happy new year. Have we made that clear, Ben, that we're taking two weeks off? Maybe we should say that.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, guys. We're the worst. Deuces! We're out for the last two weeks. We're getting a tan. Josh is taking his family to Vancouver again. They're freezing, Josh.

Take them somewhere warm. I know. But, yeah, we're taking the last two weeks off. So you bastards miss us, okay? So you morons miss us. We've been too accessible. So we're going away for two weeks, but then we're going to see you on the sixth. Between then, catch up.

Go listen to some old apps. Remind yourselves why you need us because we need you. But yes, we'll see you on Insurrection Day. As always, this episode, five stars. If not, what are you nuts? Listen to us on Apple, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts. Wash us. Watch us.

Watch us on Josh's YouTube. Share our clips, Instagram and TikTok. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you on January 6th. Day. We love you. Thank you. Oh, and I'm going to post clips on our YouTube channel for the two weeks we have off because from some of our biggest steps, Paige Dissorbs, Hannah Bird, Claude Osh, and all of them, Ian Fye, and enjoy them. I love you guys. Love it. Love it. Thank you guys. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and

services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.