Good Guys - Some Good Advice, Guys

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

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The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Sauffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Live from New York, it's Josh Peck. Definitely on a different day because of my hats.

Then the writers are protesting and I am protesting that hat. Why? Because did you open up a denim store? What is that? I'm channeling my inner Jason Morass. Well, I don't. Is it don't or won't? Don't.

Don't. Yes. No more. No more. Yes. It cannot wait. I'm sure there's no need to complicate. I'm not done.

Our time is short. This is our fate. I'm yours. We both went for the same one. Where's Jason Maraz? He's with Lupe Viasco. Dead. Dead.

Dead. Like, where's Lupe Viasco? Dead. I miss these guys. Dead. They need to be around more. Yeah, they all just like went with Tupac, and they're all having a better life somewhere. It must be.

They all fake their own death and just bounce. I heard Lupe Fiasco was studying to be a samurai. Really? Yeah. Which tracks? That's cool. Yes. That's cool.

Get your money and then do something like cool. Agree. Not just. spend it on dumb shit. Like go have the financial security do it ever the hell you want anywhere and don't care who sees it. I do think it's dope when people walk away

and so few people can. So few people can. Yeah. Because you're just taken by the greed. The greed, the ego. Like that's why no one can walk away from show business. So hard.

They just take every bad reality show until they're like in assisted living because what else are they going to do? They can't go work at Home Depot. They should. Will that be you? I hope not. It's my greatest fear.

If somebody cuts you a check today for $50 million. Done. Done. Out. Out. Out. Doing something else. First of all, I love this game.

Okay. Let's talk about how we allocate funds. Yes. I'm taking that 30 and I'm putting it with somebody. I go, listen, give me nice returns. I'm not greedy. No. We don't need any money.

made off shit over here. No. I'm talking 7 to 9%. I'm not greedy, 7 to 9%. That's not greedy. 5%. It's slightly aggressive. A little.

It's aggressive adjacent, but this isn't Sam Bankman. Free numbers. No, it's not. So it's like, give me 7. Okay, let's say 7%. 7% on 30 mil? You know how much that is? Great scratch. About 2.5 mil.

2.1. Pay capital gains on that? It was quick math. Pay a little 30% capital gains. You go down to 1.4. You can't have a nice. time on one four in just spending because once you have the 50 mill you can get a house like that oh my god or a mortgage rate nice setup oh yeah i've been going i'm doing this movie in in north

carolina and so i hope my wife doesn't listen to this because she can't hear that i'm having any fun without her or the kids not allowed when your husband not allowed i like literally have to act like i'm in the fucking coal mines like babe what a day oh man it's it's It's like we're just fighting with how tired each of us can present ourselves. She's like, I'm exhausted. I'm like, oh, because Sam Max was at school all day. No, he's going to get me fucking murdered. I'm going to get murdered.

Oh, it's nice throwing you, Ben. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You're a coal miner in North Carolina. I've got the black lung poppet. It's like, oh, my trap. are so sore from swinging my pickax. Oh, God.

Oh, but I went to this dope place, because this is how I get down as a sober man. I went to this place called Sawn House, which is like a sauna coal plunge place. And I was like, this is the shit. But I'm having, you know, but it's communal, so I'm having to share it with like a bunch of, like, derelicks.

I'm like, damn, I need this in my house. So with all that money, I would have to have. With all that money, I would have my own coal plunge, and I could probably afford that now. You could. But I don't have the room. No, you could. I want a place with room.

Yeah. Should I get a bigger house. Okay, but that's a little more. But you could do it. Yeah, with the 50 mil, I would get like a big, because I want to have it outdoor. I want to have a big barrel sauna. I want to have the nice ice plunge.

It's nothing like that. You want to talk about now that you're intermittent fasting, I mean, you wake up, you drink a nice black coffee, little water with electrolytes, and you do a sauna cold session. What time are you waking up? Whenever. Nothing you can't handle.

Got to get up early for that. Sidebar and then I want to jump right back to this. At what point in your weight loss journey were you able to cross your legs like that? At what point did your thighs say, all right, you no longer have to present yourself like this. You can do the skinny man. This is impossible for me. That is such a great observation. Yeah, at what point were you able to do that?

I've got a deep cross. You do. I do. You have the cross of like a really, really, I don't know, thin woman in Hollywood. Yes, I've got the cross of like an Italian tailor. It's amazing. Yes. You know, I worked on it.

You did. It was important to me. Yeah, I mean, this is just like, I'm going like this. My leg falls asleep. I'm going like this. My leg falls asleep. But if I had it just tucked, all right, I'm going to try. It feels so like this.

This feels awkward to me. This feels very like hyper masculine. Can't sit like that. You can't do it. You can't do this. I feel like I'm waiting for like when, you know, the rest of my friends from West Side Story to come and tell me we're going to a brawl. Yeah, exactly.

But body language is important. For sure. And this is a good, this is a good look. It just hurts. It does. And sometimes I have to like, I can also, I'm ambi cross-stress. Like, I can hit both legs. Holy smokes.

I don't mean to brag. No, it's great. What were we talking about before? Money. Oh, yeah. Oh, 50 million. What you'd do with it. Yeah, I love thinking about that.

You? Oh, what would I do with the money? Big house. Agreed. Put some money aside. Big house to wear. Big apartment and then maybe a house in the country. Big, yeah, that sounds nice.

I like that. Two homes. Two homes. Perfect. Country, city. Money away. Make a return on my investment so that I don't need to work. continue to live off of the money and just buy everything for everyone I love.

Yes. That's really what I want to do. I watched like such an emotional video this morning. I don't know the player. I don't know the team. Saw it. You saw it. This guy just got drafted.

21st pick, NFL drafts. Right? Was the NFL? Probably. I think so because I don't think there's other drafts. NFL draft. And the first thing he says is, mama, you're done working. Put in your two weeks.

I'm paying. It's done. You're done. I'll cry right now. And it's just like, how amazing must that feel? Like, all I want to do is buy, I'll buy you a house. I'll buy ever, like, if I have the money to buy people houses, I'm going to buy people houses.

Yeah. And why do people have money and not buy their friends' houses? What's wrong with you? I would just be hitting people. I would literally make it a point to make everyone stay every day. Yeah, why not? Just throw down 100 bucks every time I walk into Starbucks or wherever. I know you don't like the tip charge Starbucks.

Terrible. But these are frontline workers. These people, they deserve big ass tips. Great. So I'd rather buy them a car. Yes. Completely separate from that dumb fucking iPad that makes me tip for no reason. It's not even Starbucks is the least of the problems.

You'll go in like a, I don't know, buying a t-shirt. Yes. And they flip it around. The program allows you to tip. I do see that. But I am becoming. more gregarious with my tipping. And specifically, and I've had friends who've worked at Starbucks.

That string is still there. It is right? It's so annoying. Where is it? Get it for me. Please get it for me. Get it for me. Hold on.

No, it didn't make the hat better, but there's not a strain there anymore. I've had friends who've worked at Starbucks. Working at Starbucks respectfully sucks. It really, like, you want to talk about you're a frontline worker. Most of the time you're working minimum wage. It's shit. Like you are dealing with some of the worst personalities of people in the world. I'm not,

this is not a reflection on the company. Like, shout out, I love Starbucks. But it is a rough ass job. So if you're going in, I'm going to say this and I might get dragged. I've been getting dragged. If you go in there and you can afford a $6 latte or whatever your expensive drink is

and you're not like doing Folgers at home with your drip coffee maker for an 80 cent coffee. If you can afford a $6 one, put a buck in. Why, though, respectfully, is that my problem? Doesn't Howard Schultz have enough money to just give them more money? Double everyone's pay and they're still fine, right? But that could be said about every CEO, right? Isn't that the gripe with just capitalism? Agreed. When you reach a certain level, just pump the brakes. Again, sports society small company still pay people as well as humanly possible great benefits everything right because it's so important that you pay the people that are working with you and for you helping achieve your dreams like there are thousands and thousands and thousands of people working for

Starbucks that are helping achieve someone's dream pay them you know what they call that i shouldn't pay them Pay them. Socialism. Nah. No, I'm kidding. Ben, you are a hybrid. You are 100% right. And this is the issue that CEOs make astronomical

hundreds of people at the C-suite level are making ridiculous money compared to the daily workers. But they should. That's fine. I have no problem with that. But there should be somewhat of a slight leveling of the scales, you might say. Isn't that what you're inferring?

No, I'm inferring that these companies don't need to make the profits that they're making. They don't need to be just continuously thinking about expansion, expansion. How many more stores can I open? How much more money can I make? How much more can I do? Just take some of your profits and put it back into your staff. But that's the disease, babe. That's Wall Street. Yeah. I'm not trying to take away any big wig salaries because I love, that's the thing about capitalism that I love. That person also worked really hard and smart to get to a place where they can command a sickening salary. That's not anybody's fault, right? But it is the fault of the company that makes unbelievable amounts of money and profit that they could throw a buck or two back

to the employees. That's what I'm saying. I couldn't agree with you more. That's what I'm saying. I think it needs to happen. I think it needs to happen too. KiwiCo in the Peck household is literally our favorite thing. My four-year-old son goes like he has a small like episode when the KiwiCo arrives. He recognizes a box. It comes once a month. And my seven month old, like, give him a couple more months and he too is going to join the KiwiCo party. Look, KiwiCo believes that every kid is naturally creative and curious and that hands-on experiences build creative confidence and problem-solving skills. Okay. Kiwi-Co, basically, it delivers like seriously fun learning for kids of all ages in this dope once-a-month box that's going to come.

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this long sort of like paper towel stick and then this sort of felt horse head on top it was incredible he was riding it around the living room but again he was like able to decorate it and build it and it wasn't too intimidating but it sparked creative confidence in him and it allowed him to experiment and tinker so you know you can buy a robot but isn't it way more fun to build your own But that's what KiwiCo allows. KiwiCo crates are fun. They're stress-free. You can enjoy quality time tackling projects with your kid.

And Ki-Wi-Co projects are designed by a team of educators, makers, engineers, and even rocket scientists who brainstorm hundreds of ideas to create the most exciting, AIDS-appropriate and educational projects. These are real engineering science and art projects with high-quality materials. redefine learning with play explore hands-on projects that build creative confidence with kiwiko get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line at kiwi co dot com slash good guys that's 50% off your first month at kiwico dot com slash good guys every morning i wake up and i drink element yeah every single morning i drink element i put it in my water it's a thousand milligrams of sodium and a bunch of potassium and magnesium 200 milligrams potassium

16 milligrams magnesium first and foremost it's going to make your water taste great and i don't know if you've ever had this experience but at times it's like i'll be drinking water and there'll be like some weird self-limiting thing to it right like it just doesn't feel like i can drink a lot of it but when i add the element to it because i'm adding the electrolytes i'm adding in all these things that My body needs to, you know, magnesium is incredible for muscle recovery and potassium helps with with cramps and muscle aches. And then you've got the sodium with it, which is an electrolyte, so you're actually becoming hydrated. I can crush so much more water.

I think it's probably also just because it tastes delicious. And here's the best part. There's no sugar in it. There's no crap, right? So all these electrolyte, you know, packets, I'm sure you've seen them out on the market, but there's always stuff in it. Like, why do I also have to have all this that I don't want? And maybe it's like 50, 100 calories.

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guys. This deal is only available through my link. So you must go to D-R-I-N-K-L-M-N-T.com slash good guys. I think we left a bit of a cliffhanger. We did. We did. So we have this speak pipe thing where we are getting messages from our fans, from our listeners, from our from our guys and gals. And we say feel free link in the descript. Give us a question, what you need advice for. Whatever you want to share, we listen to a couple, and I think we found some great ones. The first one is from our good friend, Emily. Hello, Josh and Ben. I love y'all's podcast so much, so I just want to say that first. I literally listen to it every single day, and I've started re-listening to the episodes because I've binged all of them. So please put out

more episodes or give me other podcasts that are like y'all's because I can't seem to listen to anything else right now. Besides that, I need some advice because I was dating a guy. He's 10 years older than me. And we're broken up now, but he wants to get back together. But he's very insecure and jealous. Like we went to dinner, me and him, with my mom and my stepdad. And I went to the bathroom, was gone for maybe three or four minutes. And he accused me of having canoodling with the waiter. When I came back to the table, he accused me of that. We were at Applebeast, by the way. There are things that he has accused me of because of jealousy and insecurity and things like that.

And now he's saying that he's changed and he's working on stuff, reading books, therapy, blah, blah, blah. But I just don't really know if I can forgive that. And if that can change, I don't know. So what is y'all's advice? Wow. Thank you all so much. First of all, Emily Love you

Good is gold Love you S cute Run Run run as fast as you can You can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man You would be the worst

The worst therapist Because you literally be like Stop it No, it's true Stop it Stop trying to work through your problems Run away from them Right isn't that significantly easier

Therapist would be out of a job Just saying Freud had a whole chapter about that. Run away from it. Look, any guy, you're a lovely dinner. We're missing crucial information, by the way. Josh said Applebee's, I want to know where you were eating. I'm thinking Italian.

I want to know where you were eating. That was in my head. I was just seeing gigantic pepper shakers and guys with parm throwing it around. If it was, then... Wow, what a meal. Yeah, maybe a book of a beppa. But yeah, you got to run. Look, meal, you, your boyfriend, I guess, or friend or husband or whatever it is.

Parents. this is a lovely time out you go to the bathroom for three, four minutes and instead of accusing you of taking just small duty he comes and fires at you that you are cheating on him

with a member of the staff? I'm more upset that you did a mid-meal duty and staff. I don't think I've ever done that. Four minutes. What else could do? Look, there's two is either she's cheating or she's just taking it up. It's not that long.

Yeah, but you know, she pushed it down. She was probably out there for seven minutes. Okay, all right, fair enough. And I'm just saying the man needs to get with the time. Women do poo. Maybe she's so humiliated that she was pooing that she kind of was like. Actually, I was back there with Robert. Definitely not shitting.

That's sunny. But yes, run, because if he's jealous about stuff like this, it's not going to get better. That stinks. It stinks. Trust your wife. By the way, the other thing that we don't know from her, is there a reason for him not to trust her? Sure.

We don't know that. We were given no backstory. So what I will say, again, and then I'll flip it over to you, if there's a reason not to trust you, this is a different story. If you've cheated in the past, I don't know your history. If there's no history of that, the guy's a loony tune run for the hills. I couldn't agree more. And I think it's well said. I think it's slightly delusional.

That's the part. Like, to be jealous of something that could be possible is one thing. I still think, I don't know how you feel about jealousy, but my wife can attest. I'm, like, anti-jalous, because I feel it bubble up in me, and I think it's such a deplorable personality trait. Me too. That I shove it down so hard that I'm literally like, go do your thing. I have no fears and no interest. And I do truly believe that, because I know that people are who they are.

And if you're with a cheater, cheater's going cheat. Cheaters going cheat. Cheater's going cheat. Agreed. Yeah, push. Jealousy's terrible. Shout out Tom Sandoval. It's a true disease.

Yeah. Shout out Tom Sandoval. How about that? Sander's going to cheat. How about that sake? That was great. You're welcome. That was great.

I guess we, what is this thing called? Speak pipe. Speak pipe. We can go back to it. Yeah, yeah. We go speak pipe. Vander Pump rules. Love it.

Maybe a little speak pipe later. So did you watch the most recent episode or would you like me to recap you? Please give me the recap, Andy. So now we're into this part of Vanderpump rules where all of a sudden the Tom, Ariana, Raquel drama is happening live. Yes. And we are seeing Tom and Raquel sleeping at Tom's house while Ariana is at home crying over her dead grandparent that died that day. Hold, please. So she hasn't found out that Tom has she.

No. But Tom was allowing the cameras to see that they were. He told, they told people. And they thought that it like wasn't weird if they just like said it. He's like, yeah, you know me, Schwartz and Raquel went in the hot tub last night. And then she slept over, but she slept on the couch. And then you see Ariana say, oh, why didn't she use an upstairs bedroom? And it's like, what is going on here? craziness. Crazy. And if you're going to lie, if you're cheating, once you make your look good and say I took the couch? I mean, you're still cheating, but you might as well lie and make yourself look good.

There were so many red flags. Tom was at this barbecue somewhere in upstate. Do the Californians call it upstate? We don't. You don't, right? Uniquely New York. It's uniquely New York. Uniquely New York to say upstate.

You know that that's a vocal warmup. Unique New York. Unique New York. Unique New York. You know. Unique New York. You know you need unique New York. You know you need unique New York.

Right. Wow, that was pretty good. Really good. Somewhere upstate, probably the desert, right? I guess that's your version of upstate. Well, upstate you think San Francisco. San Francisco. Oh, true. Yeah, yeah.

Cross state. Whatever. He was somewhere two hours away. Desert, Joshua Tree, Palm Springs. From his wife. Ariana calls him, are they married? No. Just long-term partners.

Yeah. Yeah. Ariana lets him know. My grandmother just passed away. Can you please come home? And he said, oh, shit. My ride. left. I'm so sorry. And then Lala comes in and confronts and says his ride did not leave.

He just stayed for two hours when his long-term partner needed him the most and was grieving. So needless to say, craziness, there's all these like, you know how they do those like interviews, like they'll show like a clip from the show and then the confessionals. And it'll just like they'll ask them questions about each other. it's just so apparent that they're cheating. It's crazy. It's crazy. Wow, I can't wait to catch up. Yeah, it's pretty good. I'm enjoying it.

That's the thing about cheating too. And in no way does the act of cheating, like the physical act of cheating, is there any excuse? My wife assures me of that. But it's, you know what's almost as hurtful or more hurtful are things like you just mentioned, right? It's like the lies, the disappointment around. First, I think that it kills someone to find out that you've, like, my wife says, like, it's almost worse to know that you've been talking about our relationship to someone else, right?

Like, you've broken that intimacy of, like, what we thought was just between us. I'm just telling you an example. Thank God. Baruch Hashem, this has never happened between my life and it never will. All right? Don't try me. And so it never will. But, like, my wife and I have this, like, we have such a close, deep bond.

And to know that she was talking to some arena football player in the throws, you know, at a high-end marriott after like some crazy canoodle session about like, you know, Josh doesn't lift the toilet seat or like, you know, whatever, like that I chew in my mouth open. That would hurt. And I think that people feel so, I mean, it's the act, which is a betrayal, but it's all that extra shit that's like the real thing that makes it so hard to come back. from that. It's so terrible. I think it honestly is the worst thing you can do. It is. The worst thing, especially if you're married kids. Just like, just do the honorable thing. Man the fuck up and divorce the person. If you don't want to sleep with them, it's very simple. Leave. Leave. Right. Like, it's so sad. I just, I can't. I can't. I can't understand it because there are two reasons one would cheat you'd think, right? One, you're a scumbag or two, you don't love the person anymore.

If you're a scumbags, scumbags are going to be scumbags. You don't love the person anymore. Then tell them it hurts. It's hard. It stinks to hear. But there's nothing wrong with getting a divorce, right? Like it's the honorable thing to do. It's very, very sad.

It's far sadder to cheat. I never understood it. I personally never understood it. No, I agree. And I think what stops people is that they reconcile or they rationalize like, well, I don't want to disrupt this whole ecosystem, right? You have to. That's what I think a lot of people go, we got the house, we got the kids, we've got like

the little American dream. Yes, our relationship is loveless. And yeah, here and there, I got to go hook up with Nancy from HR. But like, other than that, I'm making this thing work. And it's like, no, you're not. And by the way, and I've had friends. I have one friend in particular who wrestled with this idea of like, I don't want to break up the house for my kid.

And I was like, do you think your kid's not hip to the energies, going on between you and your wife and like kids are really, really smart. Yeah. They pick up on this stuff. What about introducing the idea of a thruple prior to cheating? How about that? Oh, yeah. How about you go to your wife or you go to your husband and you say, hi, I don't want to ruin

what we have right now, but I am just sexually deprived. Can I please have sex with somebody else you're more than welcome to come? How about you try that? I bet you you would have such more success. Like some people would say, no way, screw you, I'm getting a divorce. But then he had a divorce anyways. Sure. Do you think people try that?

What I will say about that is with the open relationship thing, because I had friends who went through that whole wave of sort of approach. Here's the thing. This is what I never heard from people. Our relationship was going so well. We were so happy that we decided to open this thing up. Yeah. It's usually the reverse.

Yeah. We were almost going to get a divorce and we thought, let us try this. Yeah, yeah. And I also, on my first podcast, I had interviewed this guy named Dr. Chris Ryan, who basically wrote, like, the preeminent book about open relationships and polyamory and this idea that, like, you know, he literally, it's called Sex at Dawn. And it, like, draws us all the way back to, like. Name your next book?

I like Sex at noon to be at dawn. It's like, can we sleep in? Sex at Dawn. Sex at Dawn. I'm at six and three But and he draws it back to the Our species back to like the bonobos Like apes and like basically just that

We were never meant to be monogamous right But what I asked him was I was like You're a guy, you're an intellectual You don't have kids You have a wife, you have a girlfriend You all seem to be living like this wonderful life Kind of separately and both together Like you live outside lives and lives together

But the problem is, is like, people want to do that and then also have the white picket fence and the suburban dream and the kids in school. And you know what else they want? They don't want people to talk about them. And they don't want them, you know, the whispers at, you know, the big sale or the PTA meeting to be like, you hear about Hank and Judy over there?

Like, they're hooking up with half the neighborhood. But you know what? It's going to happen. I don't think you can have both is what I'm saying. I understand. Right? I do. I do.

cheaters stink. You know what? You and I, we like to canoodle with our wives. Is that so wrong? Yeah, and each other. Yeah. Could you imagine? You ever think about that?

No. Leave it. Last thing on Ariana Tom, because I thought it was crazy. The same way, who is it that Tom cheated on like 10 years ago? Who did he? Oh, it was Kristen. Kristen. Sorry.

Dear friend of the podcast, she's going to come on, especially after hearing this. I don't know if you've asked her yet, but she's going to come on. Oh, yes, and here's a tease. Kristen's cheated on some people herself. Fine. And we'll find out more. And we'll find out more. Sorry.

Yeah. The same exact way he denied and lied cheating on Kristen. He used the exact same words when lying about cheating on Ariana. Like somebody put together a video, and I'll try and find the video. Everybody should look for this video where it's like the exact same lie. It's crazy. Whatever. Leopard never changes its spots. That's the moral of the story. I like that one. That's the moral of the story.

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Meals are ready faster than delivery and they're ready in just two minutes. Head to FactorMeals.com slash Good Guys 40 and use code Good Guys 40 to get 40% off your first box. That's code Good Guys 40 at factormeals.com slash good guys 40 to get 40% off your first box. Should we pop back to a speak pipe? Please. Okay, our next one is from our lovely caller, Sarah. Let's hear it. I should be more ready for this.

Hold, please, and we're good. How do you deal with people asking you for money when they know you have more than them and can give them money and be okay, you know, and wait for them to be able to pay you back? Sarah's a bit of a bragger. I mean, I hate feeling. like I have to follow up with people and maybe it's the Jew and me, but I don't like giving my money.

Not making us look good, Sarah. I'm just wondering how you guys deal with that. How do you say no? Because the situations come up for me a little bit, and I'm a little lost on how to apply. I feel like we nixed that video. That said, now that it's aired, the Jew and me, what are you doing pushing anti-Semitic tropes? Yes. Come on.

Trooping it up. Come on. That said, if you can do it, lend your friend's money and stop being an asshole. But don't expect it back ever. Ever. It's a gift. It's not a lend. 100% agreed.

Yeah. 100%. But if you have it and they don't, at least for me, if somebody ever comes to me for money, which has happened, I will give them money. I'll ask them what it's for. Just so I can understand like the severity of what's going on. I certainly don't want to give you money to buy a TV. Sure. But if there's.

some issue, maybe funds aren't coming in as quickly and you're laid on a credit card or like, there's something going on. Now, don't come to me for money, people. Because, one, I don't have enough. And two, I don't know you that well. He's reinvested. But a dear friend, a dear friend comes to me, I'm sure you're the same and needs something. Yeah.

No problem. There is a tier to good friends where the money could go high. But for me, I'm like capped. Like, I have a cap. Because again, you have to, when you give money, you have to assume you're never, ever going to get it back. Sure. And so you give it as a gift and whatever that number is for you,

if it's $100,000, if it's $2,500,000, where you're like, this will hurt, but I won't see this person and hate them with my entire being. 100% if I never see this money. Agreed. And that's important. You have to know what that number is for you. Agreed.

And you're right. Helping people is nice. My mom and I have needed help before, you know, growing up as a kid, like we needed money to put a down payment on a, you know, first month's rent for an apartment that we didn't have. Yeah. And luckily, we had really good friends. Shout out Ruthie and Danny who gave us some money.

Yeah. Yeah. And also Sarah sounds loaded. Sarah's rich. Right? Yeah. Right? I think Sarah's doing that.

I think she's doing it right. I think here's how I imagine Sarah. She went to a nice school like Vassar or Sunni on the yacht. Check out the last. episode if you want to know that joke she got a degree in something that matters not communications like something that really set you up she's a executive vice president of something maybe she's like the head of marketing for some company she's like 29 30 she's making 280 i think it's family money Sarah's rich from her dad i think so she's the heir to the sketchers fortune yeah or her mom okay that's fair

Either. Last one. Last one. Last one. Last one by our dear friend, Hazel. Hazel. Hello, good guys. I need some advice here.

So I am 25. I'm from Wisconsin. And me and my boyfriend have been together for nine years in April. And my sister recently got engaged. And so everyone's on us about when we're going to get engaged. And if I'm being honest, I keep telling them,

I'm not a big wedding person. I'd rather like just to live and have a party, like small party with friends and stuff. and they're like, what are you nuts, basically? So, like, we have a house. We have two dogs. They're very content with our life. And I personally don't think I would be happy and get a lot out of a wedding.

And I'd be wasting a lot of money on something I wouldn't be happy about. So I guess I need some advice here. Am I nuts for not wanting a wedding? And do you think I would regret it? Should I double check into my thoughts here? So excited to hear what you'd have to say. He's a love her. Love her.

I just love the Scannies. Do you call them the Scannies? We should. Yeah, I think so, right? Wisconsin. She was great. Loved her. You want to go first?

You want me to go? You go. Okay. I, again, am missing a lot of information. I need to know who would be paying for this wedding. Right. Is this a gift? Is the wedding a gift?

Are your parents coming together and they want to shower you with this present? If that's the case, it is the single most important moment in your parents' life to watch you get married. I think it's so amazing for them to see the child that they raised, find a partner, and they get to enjoy it with their friends. Like, weddings overreedly are not for the bride and groom always. A part of it is, but it's also just the idea of celebrating you, like, at least for my wedding, like our parents got to invite, I don't know, 150 people. And that was like them, the same way that you said that maybe it was last, last episode, that parents love to like show off. Like this is like their moment. Like they're they're very, very proud that

they found their kids found a life partner and that they're having a great time. So if it's a gift, take the gift. It's really nice. You'll have a great time. You'll collect a lot of checks. And you didn't have to outlay for any of it. So it's a win-win. If you are paying for this wedding outright and money is something to consider and you're very, very happy with your house, your dogs, your husband. I think a small wedding. I think you should still celebrate your love, but you don't have to do it in like the craziest way imaginable. I would still do something. That's my personal opinion. Yeah, I think it's interesting. My wife and I recently had to talk about this and we had a smaller wedding like just around 100 people. And we both said that had it not been for her family and my

mother who I think very much wanted a wedding and our wedding was perfect and lovely and modest but great I think we wouldn't have done it I think that we would have maybe just had kids or would have maybe had like a small maybe like a courthouse thing and then just like a dinner with 20 people 30 people but it was like always in the cards and I agree with you I don't think anyone should ever go into debt no or no if it's what's true between a wedding and a house, like a down payment on a house, go for the house. And I just wouldn't feel, again, like that pressure that families put on people, I mean, it is such an endeavor for, you know, my wife and I, you know, she has three siblings

and sometimes we'll talk about like her siblings who are taking their sweet time, like one day when they'll, you know, hopefully get married and find someone great. And we all, like my wife and I will get stressed just talking about it. Because the moment it begins, like, as soon as the aftermath of the excitement of the ring on the finger, which lasts about 36 hours, you go into planning mode, hard body karate, and people change. And it becomes a whole, you are in a whole new world. Like, nobody tells you that. Short engagement, short engagement, short engagement. Short engagement.

Yeah, I think so. Just get it done. But then you're married forever. I know. but if you do what you're talking about, I think really creeps in when you have like a 18 month engagement.

I feel like, I don't know. I would like, I would write. I mean, my engagement was about 14 months, but we, I liked it. Beyonce. It's nice. My fiance. Yeah, and I understand.

Say it with me. Beyonce. It's fun. It is. But you're just like, get it done. I think so. I think that the, having too much time to stress and plan

is what pulls families. part. Guys, I love Top Golf. You know I love it because my four-year-old son loves it. Recently, we took him and a bunch of his little preschool buddies, little preschool dropouts, him and his rugrat friends and their parents who are in their 30s and 40s, and everyone from 4 to 40 had the best time. And what can you say that about? Like, there's no experience like that except for Top Golf. Why? Because they have everything good about golf. Like, even if you don't consider yourself a golfer, right? You can still go and have fun and do all the things that golf sort of offers without any of the pressure. They've got the clubs, the balls, the teas turf, right?

But also, they have stuff that golf doesn't have, like loud music, giant targets, giant TVs, and handcrafted food and beverage. And they've got all the yummy foods that you would expect from something like this. The kids were crushing chicken tenders, us adult driving pizza bites. but then they also have like elevated options, beautiful chips and dips and little like delicious great desserts, by the way, beautiful drinks and just like overall, they just had so many different things that you wouldn't have expected that you're like, am I at the new cool kid trendy restaurant? Oh no, wait, I'm at Top Golf having the time of my life, right? And we did all this and it wasn't even half price Tuesday. So if we had went then, we could have

played twice as much. But I'm telling you, go to Top Golf, bring your whole family. Everyone's going to have a great time, bring your friends, and know that everyone is taking care of. And listen, Top Golf's all about play, but, you know, they have some rules too. So half-price Tuesday applies to gameplay only. It's not offered at every venue. Can't be doubled up with other offers or discounts. It is already half-price after all, but the full details can be found at topgolf.com slash Tuesday. It's golf. It's not golf.

It's top golf. Pro tip, download the app and book ahead of time to come play around on half-price Tuesday or any other day. I would like to know the amount of people, because sure, there's a percentage of the population, gets engaged and breaks it off before. I want to know what percentage of people broke it off when they had significantly more time versus less. I bet you that the stresses of planning a wedding break up a lot of people because it's fucking stressful. It's so stressful.

It's terrible, especially when there's multiple opinions and it's just too much seeding charts. It's too much. I recently went to one of the most gorgeous, fabulous weddings for my wife's best friend and they are wonderfully well off, so much so that they were able to rent out

basically an entire hotel in Italy. Wow. And so because they knew, like asking people to fly to Italy was a big ask. For sure. So they were like, we'll take care of your hotel. It's 250 of our best friends and we are taking over the resort. You will not see a civilian.

You will not see an outsider. These are people here for the wedding. So I'm talking like a pretty great budget to work with. Even with unlimited funds, it was stressful. Like you could see it in like just how much the family and the bride and the groom had to just like the level of decision making. I think about that if young Max has a bar mitzvah. What am I going to do?

Who's going to get an aliyah? He will have a local bar mitzvah. I will not be flying anywhere. Well, I guess I have to fly. You're flying in, Ben. But that's different. Have it at home. Destination weddings don't even get me started.

Yeah, you're not okay with it. No. Just like, by the way, that sounds lovely. And I've been to lovely, just amazing. Again, same thing. Rented out these full hotels. They probably spent millions of dollars. They're amazing weddings.

it just doesn't change the fact that I spent five grand. It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. My gift was never going to be five grand to you. And I didn't want to take a trip to Italy this weekend. I have work. I didn't want to go.

Right. So let me give you, let's make a deal. Have it locally. I'll give you 1,800. That's a nice gift. But think about it. You have two options. They presented to you.

Yes. Travel to Italy. You spend five grand. do it locally, you give them $1,800. Oh, that's a no-brainer. No-brainer. It's a no-brainer. That's what I'm saying.

But first of all, that's interesting. You say that. And did you give a gift? I'm not sure. No, I don't think that you give gifts to destination weddings. You don't. Technically, you don't. I did.

My best friend had it in Cabo and we did because I don't. But normally you don't, right? No. I, again, I don't remember, know what I do. But I don't think you do. And if you're like Stamos's wedding, it said right on the invitation, don't give a gift.

So then you see that, you go, now it's just time for fun. Yeah, but whenever somebody says, don't give a gift, it makes me want to give a gift even more. But when you're rich and famous, they're like, make a donation, I'm like, cute. Like, I'm sure you're going to be checking off the list to who made a donation.

Oh, my God. I, that pet peeve. You don't like that? Is that a one of your nuts? Charity? Charity is your what are you nuts? Charity in this way. Like, instead of giving me 1800,

$100. Donate to the Red Cross. And it's like, where is the Red Cross putting my money? I need somebody to tell me, I love the idea of charity more than anything. Literally in the whole world, if I can give money and I can directly see that the money that I just gave, even if it's a large sum, just bought somebody a house when they were homeless or put somebody in school. You know what I mean? But we give money and we don't know where it goes and it bothers me to my core. I don't want to go online, put in my credit card information, and donate $180 just to make myself feel better for 30 seconds and then never think about them again. I hate that.

But is there anything better than giving to a GoFundMe? No, because you know exactly where it's going. I love it and I love when I see my name there. And if it comes up as top donor, I'm like, I can't wait for them to see this. A go fund me, but that's the perfect example. It's like, God forbid, it's terrible. But somebody on TikTok is like my mother has some form of cancer and we can't afford it. Please go to my go fund me because you've been enjoying my videos for the last two years and donate to me.

It's that guy, Jimmy Darts. Is that his name? I think that's his name. He's the one who like makes everybody's day. He'll walk up to people and give him $500. Yeah, he's great. Because they were nice. And then sometimes you have a follow-on story where that person really needed more.

I love the idea of donating to a person. Yes. It's awesome. Yes. But you don't have issues with like, donate to this foundation, but you never know where the foundation is putting your cash. Depends on the foundation. I understand.

Depends on the foundation. I guess some are good. Some are good. I think Red Cross is pretty good. Yeah. Sure. Right. Nice merch.

Good messaging. But no, it's an interesting thing because, like, growing up in L.A. with a lot of Russian Jews, the gift is as like, basically it's pay your plate, right? So amongst the friend group, you imagine how nice is this thing, right? You go to a Russian wedding, Russian Jewish wedding, you see on the table they got the black caviar. They have orange caviar, not so nice. No. They got black caviar, bellini's smoked fish.

They got a 12-piece band with a guy singing in an insane cover of Mambo number five. You know what I mean? Of course. You go, they paid a, this is a, you know, $300,000 wedding. It's probably $500 a person. So then you just go, if it's me and my wife, $1,000. Yep. Cover your plate.

Yep. That's my approach to gift. Is that right? Yes. Okay. It's the perfect approach. But know that if you got $600, I assumed you kind of cheaped out on your wedding. I was going to say the other thing, though, is I give what I receive.

So if your wedding came first and you cheap-oed me, can we still say jipped? Or that's no longer a thing? Yeah, you can say jipped. It's not insensitive, is it? they're gypsies. Oh, is that where it's born from? Yeah. Just say Jude down.

If you schemed me, sorry, you had it coming. Wow. Right? Like, if your wedding comes first and you give me $180, that's what I'm throwing it right back to you. Wow. I'm sorry we weren't at each other's weddings.

Me too. Would have been nice. Me too. Yours came first? I, 2017. Me too. What month? September.

Cute. June. Oh. So mine came after. Two months after. Wow. So I would have given you a fat present. Yeah?

And you would have returned it. Well, when we renew. Yeah. Yeah. The tenure. Oh, true. True. Great.

Yeah. I got a couple stories. Great. I think these are very apropos to the things that we have been talking about recently. First and foremost, I got a boob job and was surprised to see how docs put my nipples back on. Oh. A woman has shared the shocking yet medically.

necessary gaff doctors made during her breast an ariola reduction surgery. Aeriala reduction. Oh, I need one of those. I do. I'm a pepperoni nips, baby. I desperately. But then I won't be able to pick up my kids for a couple months. You can't get an ariola reduction surgery.

I won't let you. I've already priced it out. Six grand. I woke up for my boob job only to find that my nipple piercings were now vertical instead of horizontal. she added in the caption it was just the piercing holes but imagine my surprise so they probably went yeah vertical doors so that's not a gaff that's fun oh my god that's so funny someone commented got to get them tires rotated it's unbelievable wow what are you nuts are you not speaking of

And here's another one that I found interesting. Gwyneth Paltrow ranks Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck in bed technically excellent. Gwyneth Paltrow dished on Wednesday about her previous relationships, revealing who she thought was best in bed. And she said, I had a lot of development to do. Coup creator, Paul. Just give us a highlight to New York Post. Jesus.

Paltrow said that of the two men, Pitt was the more romance. and the better actor, ouch, me. Wow. While Affleck was the funnier one. You definitely want to be Brad Pitt in that scenario. I'm sure Gila was thrilled with this news this morning. Yeah. It's just so interesting talking about exes like that, like so publicly.

That said, oh, Ben Affleck. But she goes on to say, Paltrow says, Brad was like the sort of major chemistry love of your life kind of at the that time, but Ben was technically excellent. You want to be Ben. You want to be Ben. You want to be Ben. Be Ben.

By the way, if I could pick between being the two of them, I pick Ben. Why? Say more. I just think Ben's cool. Like, there's just something cool about Ben. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Actually, there's something really cool about Brad.

Yeah. Yeah, I want Brad Pitt. Dude, Brad Pitt? I don't know. Brad Pitt? I'd Brad Pitt. Smokes American spirits. I don't want to speak out of school.

but my friend does is his stand-in sometimes in movies and he's like you know Brad will just come out of his trailer he'll be like popping peanut M&Ms I was like that's my favorite kind of M&M too wow he's just an every man he's an every man isn't he an American spirit that's good smoke you know smoking stokes yeah but I think Ben Affleck smokes a lot of stokes too remember that classic meme yes the meme it's so good so good Ben Affleck scares me yeah but like in the best way I don't know. Yeah. Like I just... They're both amazing.

By the way, great. Good job. Gwyneth Paltrow. Crazy good. Those are like, come on. The three of them are just major forces of nature. Ben's an incredible director. Brad Pitt's iconic.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a hell of an actor. Iconic. Now that is a thruple. Oh, wow. Whoa. Could you imagine? No. Too much.

I wouldn't mind imagining sometimes. This is an interesting one. Keith McNally. Adele looks like Cruella DeVille with her overdone makeup in her carpool karaoke with James Corden recently. The Balthazar owner took to Instagram

to once again slam the late late show host for his inauthentic performance but dragged the hello singer's appearance in the process. Now, spoiler alert, this Keith McNally, he's no great looker. I was going to ask,

who's Keith McNally? Remember the story where James Corden went to Balchazar and apparently was rude to some of the staff and the owner of Baltazar, you know the restaurant and basically

came out against Gordon and maybe rightfully so to a certain extent and was like you're incredibly rude and appreciate that which was like okay maybe speaking up for his staff I think Gordon did the right thing and apologize whatever he was going through at that time but like listen Keith you got a face like

that you're going after Adele a stunning first of all a generational town Generational. And stunning, beautiful person. I'm like, that's so low. Solo. Can't Drag Adele, unbelievable performer.

She's dragless. That said, it is very sad that today's generation hears, hello, and thinks, it's me. Instead of, hello, is it me you're looking for? Because Lionel Richie. Lino. Linal. I was on the toast like last week.

We spoke about Sophia Ritchie's wedding. I can you imagine. That's nice. Sorry. To clarify my destination wedding conversation before, if Sophia Ritchie had invited me to her wedding to listen to Lionel Richie perform, oh man, pay out the wazoo. I wouldn't do that trade to give you less money to keep it in New York.

You know what I mean? Send me wherever you're going to send me. That one's nice. That one is nice. What are you nuts? Please. You got one before we wrap? Oh, yes.

One of you nuts? Yes. You want me to go first? Sure. As everybody knows, airplane travel, it's never fun. There's always something that comes up, whether it was that time the guy took off his socks and shoes, right? And he smelled or you have problems in the airport getting there.

It's a treacherous experience. A couple of weeks ago, I was on a flight, at my AirPods in, doing some work. All of a sudden, I hear something loud like playing. And I look to my right. And the guy is watching TikToks on loud. no headphones in What are you nuts?

It's crazy And for whatever reason The flight attendant is right there Not saying anything to this guy It's the flight attendant's job To keep that Keep the peace There are two what are you nuts

Is one the flight attendant And two The guy with no self-awareness TikToks on loud Insane Insane Speaking of similar Maybe a year and a half ago

I was on a flight from L.A. to New York. And I happened to be sitting next to Teresa Judice. I've never told this story. We were sitting in first class. What's that hairline like in person? Low, right? Didn't catch it because there was the partition was up and we were both in

life flats. Nice. Partition was up. That said, speakerphone, having a conversation and then voice to text the whole flight. Oh my God. What are you nuts? That's so Jersey of her. How crazy is that?

I love it. voice to text on a plane? God bless her. That's my Woody Nuts. My hero. Unbelievable. I love that. Funny enough,

my Woody Nuts is a plane moment too because I was flying here this morning. And I always try to get the exit row if I can because there's a short flight. So I'm in the exit row. And usually what they do is I'm going to need a verbal confirmation from you, the people in the exit row, that you will assist in an emergency landing.

And if you need any information, look at the card in the back of the seat. fine yes no problem you know and I'll sometimes I'll throw a little joke to my seatmate like we're on it you know and they'll giggle and I'll be like now don't talk to me for the rest of the flight this guy goes are you willing to help yes yes I am okay he's like so you're going to pull open that tour you're going to lift this up the door's going to come out you're going to twist it right pull it out then you're going to pull this red hinge right here. The emergency slide will inflate.

You'll direct people. I was like, sir. What are you nuts? Like, first of all, if we're on the Hudson, do you think I'm going to remember all this shit? No. I just thought it was so hilarious and he had the confidence in me that I would ever

be able to assist in that moment. It's a formality. But he was giving like step-by-step instructions. No, I'm saying it's a formality that should be treated as a formality. If the plane's going down, no one is helping. Certainly I'll do my best if in fact we land on water, which planes are not made to do. No. But no, let's be real. Yes. I do need to apologize to the viewers. My foot keeps popping in and out, but I'm just, I can't get my legs crossed in the right way. Apologize for the hat first. I can't. No, this is a new

staple. This is a new staple. These last two ups, Ben, I love being here with you. I come to New York more. Please, please. There's some, there's some spirit. In, in Judaism, call it ruach. Ooh. Ruach means spirit. Ruach. Yeah, there's good ruach. Yeah.

But please rate, review and subscribe. Wonderful episode. Again, anything less than five stars. What are you nuts? Come on. Come on. Find us wherever. You can find your podcast, Apple, Spotify, all the good places.

Find us there. And we'll see you next time. Love you. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.