Good Guys - Teetering on Diabetes

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

In their debut episode, get to know Josh & Ben a little better while they tackle this week's biggest pop culture, sports and royal news stories. They're also dolling out their best advice on life, love and marriage. Hosted by Josh Peck and Ben Soffer. New episodes are dropping every Monday. Don't miss it - what are ya, nuts? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. I guess. Sometimes. We're pretty good.

I think we're definitely better than most. Actually, by the way, I take that back. I don't know why I'm shitting on us so quickly. We're better than like 99%. They're such skeevy guys. Guys are the worst. And I don't want to sound like I'm pandering here to whatever beautiful, female, or just, you know, whatever audience we have. but many men are the worst.

Yeah, men are terrible, terrible people. I think also, though, it takes a lot of, wow, I'm already going to get canceled. It takes a lot of abuse from women to make men the way that they are. I think men are often, they're very misunderstood. We need rearing. We need to be domesticated.

Yeah, we do. We need softening. We need someone to tell us, hey, stop that and clean yourself up. All that we need to do is look at the statistics, which are often hidden from us, which show that women are not only significantly smarter, but also outnumber us like 60, 40.

And if we knew that, I think that we would all just buck the fuck up. Like, if we don't stand in line, they could overtake us all. And I think we need to know that. A quick shock of fear would really get most of the men in this country in line. I think it's totally necessary. The reality is there's way more women in four-year colleges. Yes.

institutions. Yes. I didn't go to college. Example number one. And the reality is, is that when I meet a guy in his 40s, 50s, et cetera, and he's not been married ever, he's feral. You know? I'm like, you've been out in the wild too long.

Like, come on in, take a load off. Like, we're going to have to defle you. But there's a better way. You don't have to be out there with, you know, the coyotes. It's also the stigma, though, a 50-year-old man versus a 50-year-old woman. unmarried, a 50-year-old unmarried woman, it's terrible. You can't even look at her. It's a double standard.

She doesn't even leave the house. Oh, it's rough. It's rough out there. Me being an actor, I know this. So, I mean, there couldn't be a profession where the disconnect is more clear with a guy who, for most of us, 30s, 40s, 50s, it's when you do your best work. It's when you actually look like a dude and not just like a weird boy man. with like still a cracking voice. For women, unfortunately, and maybe it's getting better,

but it's not good enough yet. No. If by a certain point they don't have that like really huge moment, it's going to be rough. Yeah. It's not fair. It's not fair. Yeah.

We're the good guys and we stand for women. We stand for women and I want people to know that. Yeah, me too. We got very serious very quickly. Is this a serious podcast? Are we serious? I don't know. It could be.

Tell the people the shitting story about the shitting story about the shoes in the Birken socks. That'll lighten it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Claudia and I were flying back from Florida yesterday, which, by the way, gorgeous, gorgeous place

that often people talk down to, they say, oh, it's for the old people. Oh, them and their communities. What's wrong with living on vacation? Literally, they live on a golf course. They go to the central place for a Sunday buffet. Yes.

Why do people make fun of that? It's a lovely way of life. Is it for me on a day-to-day? It's a little bit boring? No, but it's a lovely way of life. That being said, we couldn't wait to get out of there. We were there for two weeks. And I was so bored.

And we flew JSX, which is this new, like, it's new to New York. It's not new to you, Hollywood elites. It's been around California to Vegas, your quick trips. Yes. But for us, it's a private jet. It's a private commercial. It's a little confusing. Right.

Like, there are 40 people, actually, the idea of it kind of gives me the heby-jubis. There are 40 people that don't know each other going through limited security onto a private plane. So really, you just avoid. all of TSA and like somebody could bring a bomb on. It's actually kind of crazy, but whatever, I digress. I'm in the bathroom, step up to the urinal. I noticed the man to my right, taking a quick dump right before his flight, Birkenstocks, no socks. And I'm thinking to myself, I know where those feet are going. Those feet are coming on the flight with me because there's only one flight coming with me back to New York. Get on the plane, turn behind me. What do I see?

Burkonstock man. Burk and stocks on the ground. Feet and feet in. his hand picking those bad boys. And it's just, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Have some decency for your fellow passengers. Not only were his feet probably stinky, but picking your feet, picking your feet. That's disgusting. So that's, yeah, that's what happened to me yesterday. The reality is, is public pooping is never going to be comfortable. No. You're always going to walk out of that stall and you're going to not make eye contact with whoever else is in there. Because you know, a disgusting act happened. And you've, and you've, feel ashamed.

Yes. You know, you're like, I should have had the self-control to take care of this before I left the house. Absolutely. But here I am a wild animal who can't control their battles. Wild animal. And I think it's, you know, it's never going to be comfortable. And I'm a man, I've done the inner work.

I'm 35. I've, you know, I've gone through a lot of therapy. I've dabbled in, you know, antidepressants. I've done the work to really evolve as a person. I'm never going to feel comfortable doing that in a public place. No. And I'm okay with that. Yep.

You know, speaking of Woody You Nuts, I too had a Whatta You Nuts moment recently. I have a three and a half year old son, Max. Gorgeous boy. Thank you so much. He took a lot of the goyishness from your wife. He's too beautiful. I'm a hundred. He's too beautiful.

I like you and your lovely wife, we're true blue Jews. We are. You know, at 23 and me, they see us and they go for what? Yes, they do. Why did you come here? What are you doing? Your money is no good. It's 99%.

By the way, I was a hundred. 100. 100 fly. By the way, Claudia, like, low key was like 997.

It's like, what's going on in your lineage, girl? Okay. You're not allowed back in Chul. What?

Great grandpa hooked up with a Greek. Yeah. But yeah, you just have a gorgeously blonde goyish son that I'm just,

oh, what a beautiful boy. You know, he's Jewish enough and also Gentile enough to really have a shot in life. Oh,

yeah. He could be the perfect plan. He reminds me of mutual. friend Cameron Fuller. You look at him. He could easily not be Jewish. And he's fully Jewish. Cameron Fuller, gorgeous actor. Gorgeous. Blonde Jew. So rare. Full. Folk. I'm starting not to think so. There's something fishy over there. There's something fishy. There's something they're not telling us. Someone did three dips in the mix of it and converted, you know.

100%. On the family tree. 100%. The most Jewish podcast on the airwaves currently. This? Yes. and I'm here for it. Yeah, wait until they get to the section of Letzienta. So I'm with my son at the playground, Super Dad, I'll say it. And we're playing, and this mother feels comfortable talking to my child. This is so clearly a faux. Oh, yeah. That's not okay.

And I don't like when people have a different voice with children. They're just kids. They're just dumb kids. Just like talk simply to them. But use this. If I was talking to young baby softer, God willing, here sooner than later. God willing. Baruch Hashem.

Today's episode sponsored by Manashev. I just talked to my kid. I would talk to beautiful baby software. I'd be like, hi, Ben Jr. We don't do that as juice, but you get the gist. By the way, I love a Ben. junior. What's wrong with that? Can you, it wouldn't be great? Imagine your son was just

Josh Jr. Oh my God. It's kind of awesome. It's so funny because people are always like, are you upset that he looks something like you? And I say, I prefer it. I'm not a big fan of myself. Everyone wants someone in their image. I'm like, I don't like my image. I prefer

it. That's funny. So I'm there at the park, and my son is like on sharing something with a smaller kid. And my son starts to like like ratchet it up a little, go a little quicker on this like teeter-totter thing because he goes balls out and this kid he can't hang. So the mother comes over and it's like talking to my son going, um, buddy, hey buddy. Oh my God. Buddy. And I'm like, this woman's going to buddy my kid. I don't

approve. And she goes, he's a little small and you're pretty big. So and like, mind you, this has been going on two and a half seconds. Like if it went on another two seconds, I would have removed my kid. I'm no idiot. I'm not hands off. But she's like literally drilling into my kid and I just had to suck it up and take my kid because all you can do as a parent is just remove your kid and walk away. You can't talk to the parent. Can't talk to the parent's kid. No. And I wanted to say, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Don't talk to my kid. The word buddy, if I could remove one word from the English dictionary. It would be buddy.

Anytime, I love that you said that, people have called me buddy. I don't want to punch him straight in the nuts. Who are you calling buddy? The word buddy is unbelievably derogatory. Totally. It is. You're automatically talking to,

hey, buddy, what am I? Not enough of a man to call me, sir? Right. Buddy. Buddy. I hate the word. It's weaponized. It's weaponized.

It's also discussing that she's with your son. He's not a buddy to her. No. But even if it had been, been little man? I don't even love Bud. You like Bud? Hey, bud.

I think it's worse. They're both bad. Little man's bad too. Little man, all of it. If you don't know the kid's name, don't talk to them. That's the rule. Why do we always go to a chief or a bro or a bud pre-fight? Hey, chief.

Boss. Chief is great. You chief Exactly Yeah We get really angry And we use Just strange terminology

That we don't normally use Because before you You shout expletives at them Totally It's like a weird masking agent Of your ferocity Hey boss

Yeah What's up Yeah Relax dude Yeah Yeah man Yeah bro Chief

Keep it down chief Do you remember of those, I remember Hey Chief, I'm in the fucking zone. Those are the, uh, my new haircut. Do you remember that video? This is my new fucking haircut? No. Oh my God. We need to, I need to show you those sounds good. Unbelievable. Um, my, my beautiful wife, her, her late grandfather, his nickname was chief because he acquired it at a time where that was an acceptable nickname for a white guy from Sacramento. That's a great nickname. Good for him. It's a true nickname. It's a true nickname. Chief, Chief.

The Chief? Just, hey, Chief. Hey, Chief. And we, loving her grandfather so much when we were having Max, we're like, maybe for a fun middle name, you know.

Chief. Chief. Chief. Chief. Chief. Oh, my God. Max Chief. Chief Pack. Can't do it. No, you can't. No. Also, because it sounds like it's blended Max Chief. All of a sudden, he became Bulgarian.

This is my son, Max Chief. Can you imagine? Imagine if I did like the token Instagram posts of Max's first photo with, because you know, it's always like their full name and maybe their weight or something. And like it said Max Chief Peck, the comments were being on fire. Max Chief. People would be unhappy. Should we get to some stories? Yeah, we should get to some stories.

I think so. Yeah. You want to talk about Kim and Kanye? I think that's appropriate. I think so too. I think we have to. Did you see Kanye's Instagram post? By the way, I said Kim and Kanye because this is no longer.

longer about Kim and Pete Davidson that's been thrown out the window since Kanye posted that rest in peace Pete Davidson Instagram posts. Did you see that? I did see that. That is just stooping so low. It's so beautifully for anyone who doesn't know what happened, Kim Kardashian, Pete Davidson, they get divorced. Immediately Kanye runs to Instagram and posts a New York Times sort of front page and Photoshopped in is the headline Pete Davidson is dead at 28. Something like that, yes. And then also a beautiful petty jab at Kit Cuddy. Yeah. And saying Kid Cutty was to perform at the funeral but was afraid of bottles being thrown

or something to that. I kind of get off on the pettiness of it all. But first and foremost, how is your sweet wife? Because is she devastated by this breakup? Totally. That's the biggest problem. Like, he just doesn't give a shit about her. I don't think.

I think that he cares about himself. He cares about his kids. He cares about him and her together. But her by herself, at least from, again, I always hate talking about things like this, because we truly know nothing. Like, I don't know, Kim. I don't know, Kanye. I don't know they're dynamic.

Lovely people. Maybe they're great, and maybe they have no real beef. But we are just assuming here that Kim, I don't know, she just seems like she always gets the, like, raw end of it. That, like, he always is, I don't know, just not being as supportive as he needs to be. Like, I would think it would be a very sad day, God forbid, Claudia got divorced. But if we were to, I would have. hope that there was so much love in my heart that I wouldn't want her to be alone.

Like the goal of not working out, like if you're not working out, you don't want to live your life alone. And Pete seemed like a really nice guy. He was funny. He was nice. He seemed to like take care of the kids. Like, I don't know. I felt, I always feel weird when this goes back to the male dominance thing.

Like, it's not a guy's job to tell his ex-wife who is good and not good for her. Right. Like, she was clearly very happy, and she mentioned that she was very happy. So I don't know what happened. But, and clearly Pete Davidson, look, he gets his fair share of Hollywood's elites, probably because he's a really nice, down-to-earth guy that's a little bit different. He's not, like, your classic, loaded douchebag. He's funny down-to-earth and makes, I think, their relationships feel normal,

as opposed to Kim and Kanye is, like, permanent MacGala, 365. You know what I mean? like there's always so much pressure. And not taking anything away from Pete and all the wonderful things you just said about him, but there must be at this point, right? The myth of Pete Davidson. If he breaks up or whatever, the relationship ends with Kim Kardashian, and you're a beautiful damsel at some club in New York City,

I don't know, Marquis, I'm older. That was at one time a hot club. Or like, they're at Delilah in West Hollywood. And you see Pete Davidson go in, you're going to go, I got to know what this thing is, that Ariana and Kim and Kate Beckinsale and who else? I mean, add it to the list, could not get enough of. Yeah. You want to try it.

Listen, once I tried a crow nut, I was like, this isn't for me. But until I got to have it, I had to have it. I had to have it. You know? I'm going to wait in line at that Lafayette bakery. I don't even like chocolate that much. It's interesting that you said that though. I won't wait in line.

That viral quasson, I need to try it. I can't wait in line. I don't need it. And I don't have to. I can't do it. Nothing is good enough for a line. Nothing is good enough for a line. I think that's a great point.

Nothing's good enough for a line. You can always get something just like decent off the line, a different line. But Pete, I think Pete needs to go for the queen. Can you imagine Pete and the Queen of England? Can you imagine the face on Charles? Is Charles dead? Did he, Philip died? Someone just died.

No, Charles is the son. Oh, I thought Charles was the old guy. Wasn't it Philip? We don't fact check. No, I'm also not, I like that you are also not too educated on the royals. I'm not very educated. I just know, I think his name is Charles, and he's rather decrepit, and I think he might have died. I thought Prince Charles was the one who was married to Diana, and that's William and Harry's father.

Is it possible that he's named after? Oh, yes. It's William and Harry's father. He's dead, no? No, no, no, he's very much alive. Okay. And then... But looks like he's teetering.

I think he's just a guy in the 70s, but Philip was like much like the queen in his 90s. Okay, maybe I'm thinking of Philip. I think so too. Philip, like, one of them looks like... Oh, it's Philip dead? Philip died recently. By the way, if he's who I'm thinking, I'm happy. Like, look, when it's your time, it's your time.

Yeah, you got to just embrace it. Don't push it. And as a completely fictitious figurehead, I'd probably say that. But like, the reality is is that like the royal family, it's ridiculous, right? Insane. It makes no sense.

Especially now. Like, we're all about this woke culture. We just have kings and queens. Like, just like, I don't know, doing whatever the fuck they want. Because of these weird bloodlines where you know cousins were hooking up, much like the Jews.

Of course. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. No one gets 100% on 23 and me where a cousin and a cousin didn't once look at each other at a Hanukkah party and said, hey let's try it once yeah claudia and i say all the time that we think we're cousins and it's cool

it's cool look it is what it is that's one of those it's cool until people find out it's cool until it's true yeah right it's really not cool if that was you like if at night you and claudia looked at each other and you're like we're cousins night cuss but this is that's also the coolest like you know like when you're younger and all of a sudden like somebody comes up to you and they call you cousin you're like, oh shit. Am I? Was I just cuss? Like,

oh, what's up, Cus? Like, wow, I'm a Cuzz. Cus is a, Cus can sometimes be in the chief category.

But Cous is cool. Cus. I think Cous is cool. I've always wanted to call my friends Cuzz. I feel like Cus is very West Coast, Snoop Dog. There are zero Jews

that call each other Cus, if that's what you were asking. No. Zero. I have really gotten into the word brother, though. I call people my brother often. And not bro, brother. Yeah, we all have seasons of words, words that we really

embrace for a while. Yeah, yeah. For me, it was flourishing for a long time. You used it a lot. Yeah, you're really flourishing. You're thriving. Thriving's a great word. Yeah. It is. How about another news story? I think this is interesting. And you know, we're guys, you can lean into sports. We can lean in. Did you know that Tiger Woods turned down live golf for the people? TGA tour, Tiger Woods turned down between $7 to $800 million to join the LiveGolf tour. I have so many comments on LiveGalph. Let me start with that. Please.

The reason why everybody claims to hate LiveGalph is because it's Saudi-backed, right? Yes. Even though every single tour sponsor, problematic, right? The reason why they don't like, of course, by the way, Saudi Arabia, problematic. your Nike sponsorship is also pretty problematic. Like, where do you want to draw the line publicly with what's problematic and what isn't when the sponsor's paying your money are problematic? We choose to put on blinders, right?

To ignore the fact that these companies that are worth trillions of dollars, you don't become a company worth trillions of dollars without having cheap labor. That's first and foremost. It's impossible. Like, everything's made in China. Huge problems over there, right? So at first everybody was like, oh, Saudi-backed, can't support it. I'm like, really?

Like, that's where you're drawing the line? Like, they're playing golf. Like, I get it, but these are golfers. The money is going to come from one place or another. And I think it's good for sports in general to have competition. There was the ABA and there was the NBA and the NBA and the NBA outdualed the ABA. And now we no longer have the ABA, but there was never another PGA tour. And so the PGA tour has just been underpaying players, not having any competition.

their air rights are terrible. If you ever watch golf, I love it, and it's the worst viewing experience ever. Like, get a fucking caddy cam. Put a camera on the caddy so I can see the inner workings of Tiger Woods swing, not like this one single dimensional. You know what I mean?

Like, think about the way the evolution of sports broadcasting and how far behind golf is. Because the PGA tour stinks, and they needed to be pushed. So on the onset, I loved live golf, just for the PGA tour to realize they're not the only game in town and they need to get better. Ultimately, the formats are so stupid that Live will die out because the PGA Tour is just, I think, a more prestigious tournament.

They have their shit together and people love it. On to Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods not accepting $800 million is such a boss move, letting people know that he has over a billion dollars. He's very happy and he prefers protecting his legacy over selling out. So I was a huge, huge fan of that. But I wanted to give that backstory. I think you're right on.

I think first let's talk about Tiger. Absolutely. I mean, you really have to sit down and go, I got 1.2 bill in the bank. Yeah. What's another 800 going to do for me? Like, really? You know what I mean?

Nothing. And, you know, the truth of the matter is you're living. He's flying private only. He's never going JetBlue Mint. No. You know, he's not doing, he's not worried about status. Like, all I care about is getting diamond status on Delta this year.

And I'm close, Ben. I'm going to fucking get it. No matter of what. What I do. Are you going to be one of those people that, like, take random flights just for the sake of flying around to get status? Like booking a round trip flight to Ohio and, like, you never get off the plane. People do that. Shout out our bestie, Brian Kelly.

Yeah, Brian Kelly. Yeah, he doesn't have to do that. He's just a miles legend. He's a miles legend. Millions and millions of miles. Unbelievable. I, uh, no, I mean, the status thing is, and I, it's funny because when I was flying here with my manager for, uh, which is why I'm in New York for this movie premiere, I, I was going to the, Delta terminal and I'm standing there and and you know my manager is so cute you know he doesn't

know he's not a traveler like me so then they go we're going to start boarding and my manager goes oh we should right let's go get in line like look there's a big line I said it's gate lice these people are gate lice they have no power they're just standing to stand and I go first one's going to be pre-board and he goes okay they announced pre-board people with canes people with kids. Nice. My brother-in-law, hearing aid, plays it wonderfully. Oh, I'm thinking about getting one.

He's only lightly. Like, I really think he just tunes most of us out intentionally. Right. And he is a hearing aid, and he just milks the shit out of it to get on the plane during pre-board. Beautiful. Claudia also once said that she had scoliosis, so that she pre-boards, and she doesn't feel bad about it because my dad has scoliosis.

So when you know someone, it's like. oh, I have cancer. It's like, oh, no, that's terrible. But, like, you know, somebody who does, right? So it's okay. Scoliosis to not have a middle seat. Ooh. I feel like we as Jews are all scoliosis adjacent.

Oh, yeah. We're all a breath away anyway. We're teetering. Yeah, yeah. Teetering on scoliosis, teetering on diabetes. I just think diabetes just runs rampant. The new title for this podcast. It is, diabetes running rampant.

Teetering on diabetes. Are you on any? Diabetes medication? Any medications? No, not really. I take Zyrtec. I have a gnarly allergies. Like I do the

Unless I take Zertec, oh, I love it. Even though marketing, I love good marketing because all I want to do is take Zizol because of the fucking owl. You know, don't be wise all take Zizol and that owl? Yeah.

Same thing as Zirtec, apparently. Makes you a little what's the word? Drowsy? I'm out. Yeah, no good. I need to operate heavy machinery if I need to. What if I need to go on a forklift?

What if I want to pull my own frozen yogurt? Don't you love that that's the call, though? It says, don't operate heavy machinery. Yeah. It's also don't drive a car. Like, it could be light machinery. Don't operate a bicycle. They jump straight for the hard tools.

Like, everybody's a construction worker. What is my name, Cliff? Yeah, don't. Don't operate a forklift. Do I have a reflective vest? Do I look like a construction worker? Well, I have some really good news. As someone, five years, you're senior.

I recently started taking cholesterol medication, and I'm proud to say it. Good. I'm a Crestor man. Okay. I'm a hashtag team Crestor. Okay, good. And it gave me like cramps, I'm going to be honest. Okay.

In the first two weeks, now I am eating with impunity, baby, and I feel like, I feel, you know. Do you feel better? I don't really feel anything. As you say, did you not feel good? I felt fine. And I'm a pretty healthy guy, all things considered. I don't drink. I don't do drugs.

I rarely smoke. But the reality was, I'd go in for my yearly physical, and the doctor would look at me and go, what's going on here? And I'd say, I'm not a big red meat guy. I don't, you know, I eat a normal. I'm looking at all these fat slabs, my friends and stuff, who are like crushing food, perfect numbers. So I said, you know what, let's stop it already.

I'm not going to beat this. Yeah. Cholesterol. Smart. Yeah, you don't want to fuck around with that stuff. Yeah. She said, listen, the high cholesterol you have in your 30s is what gives you the heart attack in your 50s. That's a wise woman. How often are you worried about dying?

I used to be worried about dying often. I'm not worried about dying at all. I'm not worried about dying at all. Say more. I had a, I think you may or may not have known this. I have a pretty gnarly scar on the back of my head. If I haven't shown you, I will show it to you. 2011, I had a spell of fainting. I was fainted for three months. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here? And I went in, the base of my spine was a little bit too high,

protruding into the back of my brain and creating spinal fluid. Really crazy, called Chiari One Malformation. That was what it was called. They shaved down the base of my spine, but the entire three months, I thought I was going to die. And I was petrified. And then surgery completely fixed me. And that was the day that I realized that I didn't need to worry for three months, because whatever was going to happen was going to happen.

And I've lived life like that ever since. when I don't feel good. I used to be, and after that also, hypocondriac, crazy, crazy. You feel anything like, oh, what's going on here? As long as you know that the end result isn't going to end in death, you're fine, right? Like, I faint, I'll fall on the floor,

I'll wake up, I'll be totally fine. That's right. But it's just that if I know that I'm not going to die, I'm fine, and I've just come to at least convince myself that I'm not going out like that. I'm not going out turbulence on a plane. I'm not going out because of something that I ate in my heartburn. Right.

It might just be me convincing myself of something that isn't true, but at this stage, I'm not worried about that I'm not worried about that. You? I'm not so worried. You have a kid and it kind of messes you up a little bit because you're like, I got to stick around for this. But I have so many friends who are hardcore hypochondriacs like that. And what I want to say is, listen, you would not be missed.

Like these people who like really do. I'm like, you're in a one bedroom in North Hollywood. If you were not here any longer, listen, it'd be a sad moment for your friends and family, but, you know, we'd quickly get over it. It is what it is. Everyone is your own personal Elon Musk, and what I want to say is, you didn't do it. You're not them. And I think that's important to remember. But, yeah, you know what I, it's so funny, speaking of flights, I remember once, now, granted, when you have work and stuff and you do like a red-eye flight coming from L.A.

in New York, which happens all the time. If you live in L.A., you're constantly taking that red eye. And so I used to, if I didn't fall asleep within the first 30 minutes of that red eye, I would go into a spin. I'd be like, days ruined, this sucks, everything's going to be bad tomorrow. Like, I'm not going to be able to do my work. Everything's going to notice. You know what I say now?

So you'll be tired. And then you'll get more rest the next night. You won't die. you'll probably just do an adequate maybe your work will suffer 10% but you'll probably be able to operate just fine and

I stop worrying about it that's good perspective maybe I'll just watch a movie if I go on a red eye I know I'm not going to sleep and I know my day's ruined yeah I don't I can't take them will you take some sort of sedative I could but then I'm all my days also ruined right then I'm groggy

I don't have like look I'm nine hours a night. If I don't get nine, I'm unhappy. Last night, six and a half. How you doing? I'm okay. Yeah, I'm okay.

I was looking forward to the sewing. Upbeat, positive, fine. That being said, it's so fucking hot. We're in the middle of a heat wave. It's terrible. It's hot.

And honestly, New York City, I fucking love it during the summer. It's so bad. So bad, the buildings, they collapse in on you. The sun refills. flex off of one piece of aluminum, another piece of aluminum, hits you in the keister, and all of a sudden, you can't breathe.

You know what I've come to realize here during this heat wave, and I'm from New York? It's four months out of the year. It's, that's the only time to live in this city. Otherwise, it's uninhabitable. I couldn't agree more. Yeah. Couldn't agree more. Two-thirds of the year, the city is not livable. Even, even maybe more than that, the winters, they're so cold. They're freezing. That's what I'm saying. Like, November to February, November 1st to March 1st, maybe December 1st to April 1st. Forget about it. Forget about it. No, thanks.

Nope. So April, May, and half of June. And then half of September, October, November. That's it. Yeah. You don't want to be here otherwise. No, but the people here are great. Oh, there's so many great, it's the best city in the world, and yet.

That's the problem. That's the thing. You go somewhere else. The weather's better. People suck. Oh, absolutely. But to your point, and what you started with at the beginning of this podcast, it's like, you know, you go to Florida,

and it's like the hacky thing to shit on Florida. But the reality is, it's like, it's a, how much worse is the lifestyle than here? It's not. It's not. But that's also just human nature in general. We do hacky shit to shit on everything. I got to tell you, my entire life growing up here,

I was told that Texas is like morbidly obese, have pet donkeys. and are like fucking hillbillies, like literally illbillies. Texas is fucking awesome. If you've been to Austin recently, first of all, Austin's amazing,

but Dallas is amazing. Houston's nice. It's such a great state. No fucking taxes. Good weather. Sure, it gets a little hot. It's the same thing as Florida. Good, nice people.

Good restaurants. Big portions. Huge portion. It's a great, great state. We just love it. shitting on everything to make ourselves feel better. That's just the human condition. You can't be happy if I'm happy.

We can't both be happy, I mean. I have to be happy and you have to be sad for me to be happy. Yes. Which is very sad. But it's also like it's all shit. Let's be honest, right? It's all the jig is up. Oh, right?

That's what you learn in adulthood. Big time. We were sold a pipe train. Oh yeah. But the reality is that like the reason why, I love when Floridians are Texas people, they just like walk around with this no state income tax thing. Like it's a badge of honor.

I'm like, remember one thing. Your state is shit. And the reason why you have this incentive to live there is because they need more people to come. Now, California, New York, shit as well, just less. So then they can charge, right? Of this shit, it's less shitty. Like, is the coast of California

maybe second to none to anywhere else in the world. Yeah. It's beautiful. I mean, you just have to deal with your neighbors. Can you compare it to the Gulf? The Texas Gulf? Perhaps not. No, I don't think so.

But you know what? It's all good. Once you realize that we're all just settling with varying degrees of shit. And that's like me when people become ultra politicized and whatnot, I want to be like, the one thing I can't do is I can't do this thing where you believe that your team is the winner. Because the reality is we're all on the same subway car. Same subway car. So let's coexist here, people.

Let's be honest. We don't have to totally agree. But this thing that we're doing, we're an ultra dysfunctional family. Oh, yeah. And you got to accept that cousin who gets really drunk and tells you how it really is at the dinner table. Yeah. You know, and it looks at your cousin and goes, you're not bad looking. And that's how me and Claudia meant.

So I feel like being a good guy. that we are. I think we can offer some advice to people. I think we can. I have been told that I give wonderful advice. Really? Oh yes. I would come to you for advice. Yes. So would my mom. She regularly comes. Ben, I need your help. I'm your mom. And what tends to be the direction she needs from you? She often just needs me to agree with her. I think that's why I think that's why I give great advice because I agree with you. You come to me, you're like, damn it, dad again, he's being so lazy. You're right. He's lazy. And then she leaves and she's like, oh, that son of mine, great boy. Your father is a renowned kosher caterer. Yes, he is. Growing up, now, do caterers

have conventions? Like, is there ever at the Jacob Javitt Center, like, you know, the second week of April, a catering convention on like, I don't know, new warming dishes? or... I bet you there is. He doesn't go to them. No, he is the word of mouth, build on what you get. He's not doing anything on Instagram.

He's not doing any paid media. He's not doing any conventions or any trade shows. He's, I cook you great meal. Great meal referral. Referral great meal. Does he have an accent? No.

That's just how you hear him. Yeah, that's just in my head. It's cook great meal. No. He sounds like a meal. literally like me. Because my mother, when I do an impression of her, it's always Joshie, darling.

You'll never guess. The Door Dash driver forgot my food. Well, he didn't forget the food, but he forgot all the dressings. I've already complained. I have a $30 credit. Might as well have forgotten the food. I'm sorry.

If you forget the dressing for said food, it's done. Yeah, what are we doing here? Yeah, and what about the people that, the DoorDash drivers that don't give the cutlery? What am I supposed to do? eat with my hands? It's ridiculous. I would have cooked at home.

Do you, how much are you tipping your door dash driver? I love that you brought this up. Uber has been scheming my wife for two years. No. She just accepts the 15%. You're tipping your driver 15% of a meal. You're not sitting in the restaurant. What happened to the days of $5 at the door?

I'm not doing that. I'm doing slightly more. But if you do a $200 Uber Eats order, You're telling me that you're tipping that driver. $40? Are you? Are you on the opposite side of me? I'm not.

I've started to tip much more. Look, this happened to me once years ago, and I realized I was in the wrong. I used to pick up a to-go order. Like, pickup. Order for pickup. And I am the DoorDash driver. I used to think, oh, this requires no tipping because there was no service. This requires no tipping because there's no service.

But there is. How? They packaged it. So there was a person who did the packing for you and made sure you had that cutlery that you talked about and those fabulous sauces and they did it up nice.

I can't. And they didn't. So they deserve a couple shekels. They do Benjamin and you know it. They deserve a couple of shekels from their employer. They need to be paid an appropriate wage. We can't. It's terrible.

Honestly, it's terrible. They foist all of these costs onto us. It's terrible. love tipping in a restaurant. If I had a wonderful experience with the waiter, please take all my money. All of it. My favorite thing is going to a diner because you go to a diner, the bill comes to 30 bucks and you leave 20 because it was only 30 bucks. Got to do it. You got to do it. It's great. Waiter's great. Awesome. I have such an issue though. What you just brought up, I'm nervous that you're going to be on the opposite side of me here. You go to get a cup of coffee

and now it's those digital screens where they automatically ask you, do you want to leave $1, $2 or $3? And you sign, that is not a typical exchange. Making a cup of coffee never required a tip. Do you think it's a typical interaction? I think you have a fair argument

and that I have been beaten into submission to where yes, now I do. Although if I go, like today, right? And I love this about New York. In New York, in New York, they have these like kind of breakfast mobile stands, right? Yes. And you can get a bagel with butter, you can get a Danish. Yes.

And they have the great iced coffee with like the coffee made French vanilla. I love it. Love. And I got one today. And it was three bucks. Big cup. Nice ice. And he goes, three dollars.

I said, I gave him a five. I said, keep it. That I get. Because it made me happy. And he's in a little booth. It's 110 degrees. And I'm like, $3 is how much coffee should cost. If I'm at your bougie coffee place with a $6, you know, Americano, forget about it.

Exactly. I couldn't agree more. If I know that it's, this also all changes. If this is mom and pop, I'll tip happily. I have no problem. I'm sorry, Mr. Starbucks. You can afford to pay your worker the dollar that you asked for me out of my pocket when you're already making 90% margins off my coffee.

That's what bothers me. just feel like we're being pushed to pay for something that we never needed to pay for. But to your point, if I see a gorgeous cart, single family owns, they love their cart, keep the change. A single family cart. It's a multifamily cart. Oh, that's really funny. All right.

So advice. Let's give us advice. Well, I think this one is pretty general, but a great jump off point. from Dana, Dana Beth 94 on Instagram, just got married, any advice? Huh. Just got married, any advice? I'll start.

You can start. I would say this. Any preconceived notion you had of romance, of the way you think things should go, or replaying the movie, the notebook in your head, or any idea you had as a single person of what you thought and or hope for for your marriage needs to get thrown out the window.

Throw it away. Throw it away. That was you alone. You're a packaged deal now. And this, you know, this combo plate requires some new rules. It does. And some new expectation.

It does. I would recommend a handshake. Do you guys have a handshake? Claudia and I have a handshake. I think handshakes are wonderful. Like a little, we do one of these. Nobody can see it because we're all audio, but it's great. We actually did it at our wedding.

I'd recommend a handshake, and I'd recommend just patience. things are going to bother you and if you want you can spend the first year of your marriage people always say oh the first year it's rocky because you're learning about each other really like living with each other living in each other's

stuff and if you're not just accepting that people are a little bit different then you're going to be in for a rude awakening like for for the first bit I was definitely like Claudia would say pick up your socks and I'd be like

why do I have to pick up my socks I love my socks there. My socks aren't hurting you, but I realize, just pick up your socks. Shut up. Know that she's trying to preserve a beautiful home. And just because you live like a pig doesn't mean that she should have to live like a pig.

And I think that if you can do that from the onset, understand that not everybody's out to get you, particularly in a marriage, that you can have either disagreements or somebody can ask you to do something and it really can be coming from a good place as opposed to a bad place. I agree.

and I think we learn our roles and how to fill them in a marriage, what your partner needs from you, what you need from them, how to adjust. And I think it's important, you know, I'm much better at not being reactive. And I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I'm like a meteorologist for my relationship. Do you remember Dr. Joe Sobel? Do you remember him? He was on 1010 Wednesday, meteorologist, Dr. Joe Sobel.

Oh, I like that. In L.A., I remember. We grew up with Dallas Raines, which is the most weather guy name ever. Dallas Raines. I think he's still doing it. Yeah, I mean, that's such a fake name. Joe Sobel's so real. Oh, it's so.

Dallas Raines. Yeah, like Principal Sobel. There's no Principal Raines. And I think it's important, like, I can see something brewing with my wife and I. We're like, I'll go, oh, this is going to be a funky few days. And not take it personal anymore. First year or two, I was like, what's wrong? We have to have it out now.

Why am I not enough and why are you so X, Y, and C? Right? But now I just go, oh, this will be interesting. And I just kind of, I just kind of stick to myself. And I get what I got to do done. And eventually she comes out of it and or I'm sure she's doing the same for me. And then it's like, and it gives way to a great week or two. And then maybe another funky day comes.

Exactly. But I'm unreactive to the funk. Yep, that's life. Be unreactive to the funk. I think this was an incredible first episode. Wonderful. That's our show. I'm so proud of us.

The good guys. Every Monday. Every Monday. What time? 7. AM? I don't know. PST.

Should we do CT? C.T. Let's do C. We'll sit right in the middle. Between EST and PSD. C.T. No, Mountain doesn't get enough height. Mountain time gets no.

respect. Nobody's ever said, all right, I'm putting this on your calendar, 3 p.m. Mountain Time.