Good Guys - The Dark Side of BBLs & Ben Takes The BAR EXAM

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

In the series of surprising facts about our hosts... Josh Peck is a chess MASTER! Check mate him if you dare.... This week, the Good Guys discuss nose job nuances, BBL scares, mommy makeovers, Biden dropping OUT, and answer your speakpipes. This beautiful, gorgeous pod ends with Ben taking the BAR EXAM! What are ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Sponsors: Philadelphia makes everything creamier. Visit creamcheese.com for recipe inspiration and to purchase Philadelphia Cream Cheese! It's the burger worthy of a nickname. Order the McDonalds QPC today. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Sauffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Mazumor morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with the head of Joe Biden's shuffleboard team.

It's Ben Saver. We're so excited to have Joe back. Like, honestly, like, it's going to be great. He was an ace in the hole before. Ooh, baby, you're... I wish I could. out these prompts earlier. I can't do it. I can't improv. But that said, fantastic, it's shuffleboard. Josh, remember outside of Parkside, that shuffleboard in Queens? That was Botchy ball.

Batchie ball. Batchie ball. I don't think I've played shuffleboard. Have you played shuffleboard? Oh, baby. You got to treat yourself. Let me tell you, the competitive sports of people over 65 are a fucking good time. And tell me, tell me about it. Maybe we should make a venue that's devoted to over 65 sports. I'm talking shuffleboard. I'm talking Mahjong. I'm talking... I love Mahjong.

And by the way, you know who loves Mahjong? Claudia. Loves Mahjong. The Asian Game of Tiles. Oh, she loves it. She loves it. She had like a nice little crew, like a nice Mahjong game.

But it's a fantastic game. It's very, very, very difficult, though. Tons of rules. Yeah, bro. I don't know any rules of anything. I don't know how to play gin or Rummy or Jinn. or gin rummy. I don't know card games.

Oh, I do. The whole thing. It's just too hard for me to get. But I'm very, very good at chess. Really? I didn't know that. Really good at chess. Like competition level good at chess?

No, because then you got to be on the spectrum. But like, it just gets so intense. Like, my rating would probably be, I would, when I was a kid, it would probably be like, you know, 1400. which is like a very beginner to intermediate player in the intermediate I would say and now I'm probably even worse as an adult I mean I mean the fact that you even know a rating I don't what is a rating like is that like an international chess rating yeah like from what I know if you're at a grandmaster level it's like Bobby Fisher or Magnus Carlson who's the current like considered the

greatest chess player alive is probably like 2,600 let me see let me let me let me double a fact check I I love that in back-to-back episodes, Marshall, we are learning that Josh has a deep, deep, deep appreciation for Richard Simmons, like cuts so deep. And Josh not only is a professional chess player, but knows so much about chess and idolizes the masters of chess. Like, this is painting a picture for me that I just simply didn't know. That we didn't know before. I know.

You are so much more than what you seem. And now we need. What do I seem? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You just think of me as a guy from Drake and Josh, and that's not cool. No, I don't. No, I don't.

Well, Marshall does. But I, but I always say, I always say, you know, Josh knows a little about so much. She's always able to just, like, pull these things out. Maybe you just know a lot about a lot. Maybe that brain of yours is just soaking, soaking, soaking, soaking, soaking. It's possible that Josh is just really, really smart. And on that, I'm going to get off my knees. I'm going to stand up.

Wipe your face. Take a deep breath. Speaking of wiping my face, I gotta tell you, Ben, you in these short these past few episodes, your man pussy is on full of you, my boy. It is unbelievable. Whoa. Let's just tuck these away. I'll stand like this.

This is good. I wonder what it looks like in the actual video. That's a bad angle for you because I was looking at the clips of our great episode with us with the In Finance today. and it's right there. It's bullseye. You got to consider wearing pants. Should I just switch right now? It's too good because you know everyone's looking now.

Or what about like a small blanket or like a sash? Yeah. Do you have like a kilt or like it's cute, babe? But overall, your body is fit as a fiddle. I like Hampton's Ben. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is.

Maybe just for the... But we get demonetized on YouTube or monetized on YouTube. I think they might just cancel the channel. They might. All right, we can switch it over to OnlyFans. But back to chess, okay? I understand that the peak male body physique is distracted. You do look great.

You really look great. I understand. Back to chess. Let's say we have... Is the role of a lifetime for you, Nolan comes and he says, Josh, you are portraying the number one. chess player in the mid-1700s in England. And you are like playing chess with the king.

Is that a dream? It wouldn't be to do it in a period. Anything with Chris Nolan would be a dream. Full stop. If I may be Jewish about it and a little particular, there's a draft, Chris. I'm feeling a draft. I would say I would like to do something modern. A period piece about chess is less interesting.

Look, Bobby Fisher is a fascinating figure, right? Because he was Jewish, considered. greatest, basically lost his mind, went away into obscurity, then became like incredibly anti-Semitic, gave up his citizenship in America, died in Iceland alone. Like, it's a very compelling, dramatic story. So something like that would be interesting. But do you know sort of the story? I mean, I don't know if you're up on the chess news.

About chess? I know absolutely nothing about chess news. I know absolutely nothing about chess origins. All I know is the case. the queen, the pawn, the knight, and that the knight does a nice little three up, one to the right. Well, currently, sort of without question, the greatest player alive is this guy, Magnus Carlson,

and he's fucking cool. He, like, did a G-star campaign. He's got a really cool look about him. He does, like, modeling, and he's just absurdly good, like, inarguably better than everyone else. And there's sort of this controversy. seen the chess world and it is hot, hot, hot. And basically, and it's all alleged, of course,

there's this guy named Hans Neiman. I know. Strapping. And basically he has been accused of cheating. And like on some like Houston Astro shit, like having like electrodes in his jacket so that he can be getting signals from like his coach. And basically they were like studying his games. And I guess they felt as though he got too good too quickly.

So now he's suing Chess.com or the Chess Federation for like tens of millions of dollars for defamation. Magnus Carlson went after him. It's all alleged, alleged, alleged, alleged. But it's pretty hot. It's hot in the chess world. And where are you getting your chess news? It's everywhere, babe. No, it's not anywhere.

So where are you getting your chess news? You go to Chess.com. You go to chess.com. Okay. Okay. I want to go to dinner. Me, you, Magnus and Hong. Hey, Ben.

What a dream. Is that a dream dinner for you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, listen, they're chess players who are the greatest in the world. Something tells me they're not great at schmoozing. Josh, can you do two to four today? Sorry, I'm hanging out with Magnus and Hans.

I can't. Ben's like, we got Elon Musk for the podcast. Oh, too much time with Magnus and Hans. You know, Magnus is explaining to me the Sicilian defense opening, and I just, I'm a little tied up, babe. I'm a little tied up. Oh, my God. All right, so we need to get you back in competitive form.

Like, I want to back you. I'm going to contribute. We're going to sponsor you. The good guys are going to sponsor Josh's rise and the chess ranks. Is it like tennis, like where they have, they have like a rankings board, right? Yeah. Yeah. Wow, we got to get you in.

but you need to be competitive. Well, and then you could be like an international champion. Like there's levels, right? Like you can be a master and then an international and then it's Grandmaster, which is very rarefied air. Is it an Olympic sport chess? They were talking about it. I don't think it is, but breakdancing is this year.

But they've been talking about it. They've also done studies to say that in an intense chess game, you burn like more calories than if you were like on the rowing machine. for an hour just by using the old brain box. I don't believe that. That's not possible. You're burning more calories playing chest than you are rowing. I don't know.

Josh, Josh, you're being brainwashed by big chess. Whatever you're reading is the far right of big chess. I can't, it's no good. I can't believe you don't know about Grandmaster Maurice Ashley, who's the pride of Brooklyn. You're crazy. Oh, my God. Dude, growing up, remember, I'm an only child too, right, with a single mom who was like in her 60s being like, Josh, get yourself busy. I'm making wings. And so I would go, because I grew up on 44th and 10th Avenue.

On 43rd, I believe, between 8th and 9th, there was the MCC, the Manhattan Chess Club. And I would stroll in there, 12 years old, a bag of Doritos in my hand and hoping my heart. And I would start playing these real weirdos. It was great. Wow. Yeah. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Philadelphia cream cheese. If there's anyone that knows creamy, it's me.

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Philadelphia cream cheese, the undisputed king of cream cheese. Everything is creamier with Philadelphia. Visit creamchease.com for recipe inspiration. And so you can start adding Philadelphia to your recipes at home. That's visit cream cheese.com. Did you ever play outside? Like remember where we did our photo shoot at that like our first good guys photo shoot at that basketball

court? Houston. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With those like very, very sketch. catchy chess boards that like smelled like piss and like there was like loose crack on the floor. So the famous one is Washington Square Park where all the speed chess guys play and they hustle

and they play for money. That's a different game to play speed chess to be able to play that quickly. But those guys are also incredible. Like I'm not they they would make quick work of me. Wow. Yeah, babe. Listen, my wife's lucky. I'll say it. I just love being able to learn new things about you. I feel like you never learn new things about me. I feel like I've never learned new things about me. I feel like I've told you everything. There's nothing new to tell. I want to know more. You know what I want to know is because I was recently, I saw this article and then I was thinking

about you because I know historically you went to schools with, let's just say it, not a big student body. I think there was like, what, nine kids in your middle school? Correct. Eight. I was not expecting you to go lower. I thought you would have been like, no, 40. Eight kids.

And have we spoken about there was one girl. She was six three. She was our center. Have we said. Wow. Wow. Well, because I saw this article and then I wanted to ask you, which is, okay, we're having some technical difficulties here. You guys should play We're Not Really Strangers for an episode. What's that?

It's like a card game for, I don't know, new friends or like old friends first dates. And it's like these deeper questions that you ask each other. I think it'd be kind of fun. Wow. Who makes the game? I don't know. All right. Just making sure that we like them.

You never know. Well, basically, just the story was in the New York Post because it's not coming up, but it was my son went to prom in a body bag. It was basically this kid's entrance to the prom was like, I guess they took him out of a hearse, opened up the body bag, and he got out. Did you go to prom? Yeah. So my high school was a little bit bigger. It was like 60 kids. I went to junior prom.

That's so small. Dude. In the private Jewish landscape, it's average, I'd say. The biggest school by far, the biggest one is the school in New Jersey called Frisch. They have 330 kids. And to me, that sounds insane, insane. Like, I see about 100, that's it, is. Yeah, these aren't very big classes.

But it's nice because you get to know everybody. That's it on the flip side. If you don't like anybody, it's really miserable, really miserable. And you can't really disappear, right? Like, are you constantly getting kind of lit up by teachers and so? There's nowhere to hide. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's nowhere to hide.

No, these are very, very, very small classes. Very. The idea of hooky, no, no, no. Can't play hooky from God, Josh. Can't play hooky from God. He knows. He knows. And what are the classes, like, what are the specific classes to a Jewish school?

Like weather control or like, you know, how to control Hollywood. 101. How to light as. Contoring. Contoring. Oh. Did you have, Oh my God.

Did you have friends who as teenagers got nose drops? Yeah, for sure. Me too. For sure. Yeah, one day they were ugly. The next day they weren't ugly. You're like, whoa, all you needed was a new nose. It's real.

The nose is a real thing. I was blessed with the nose. You never touched your nose, right? You have a great nose. No, I got lucky. I just have male breasts and depression. Yeah, that's classic, though. That's classic.

Everybody has that. Everybody has that. But yeah, the nose job, it's real. It's funny. Like, you just change your nose. You look fantastic. That's it. I've also seen some very, very bad nose jobs. Sometimes they go from really wide to really thin and there's no nose left. No nose left. Well, you need like a Dr. Nassif. You need a real expert. Absolutely. No turkey for the nose job. Got to do it domestically. Got to do your research. So true. Got to go where your friends went. Don't cheap out. But there's like, what do you guys and please, Marshall weigh in on this. Like, I am of the mind. A nose, like, I don't want to go to a guy who does 20 things, one of which is a nose shop. If I'm getting a nose shop. But like, if there's a guy who does lipo, 360 lipo, tummy, like, if there's a body guy, I'm okay if they do like 15 different things.

And if there's like a face guy who does like facelifts and eyes and neck and that kind of. I'm like, okay, but I just feel like a nose job. Like, that's got to be your thing. 100%. I actually had a weird. I only realized how weird it was recently. I went to a new eye doctor, if you'll remember, nine-ish months ago, right, to get my prescription checked.

This woman, though, was an MD. She wasn't only an optometrist. Like, part of what she did was eyes, but she also did other things. And I'm thinking about it. My contacts don't fit perfectly. My vision could be better. I'm just saying I feel like maybe I went to somebody that didn't specialize in the eyes, Josh. She did them the same exact way that you're saying.

If you don't specialize in the nose, I want nothing to do with it. And I didn't even know that that existed. What's your feeling, Marshall, or do you not think about plastic surgery because you're such a freaking smoke? I don't think about it. But however, I do agree we need to compartmentalize. Yeah. There needs to be a skin person. There needs to be a body.

There needs to be an ass guy and a girl, a person. You know, we need to just segment here. Well, that's funny you say that because speaking of butts, the BBL surgery is by far the riskiest surgery there is in here. Let's look. BBL surgery risks. What is BBL? Brazilian butt lift. Wow, excuse me.

So that's when they take a low lump and make it a big rump. Yeah. I would venture to say probably more popular in California. Juicy and high, though. That's what we're looking for. But probably Miami, right? Oh, in Miami. Yeah, I could definitely see in Miami.

Yep. One thing to know about sophomore men, we have incredibly flat asses. Incredibly. Like, my dad's ass is like a washboard. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like even at, like, his highest weight, he never went above like a 38 gene.

Just small waist, small ass. He's going to be thrilled. He's going to love this segment. Yeah, I think the BBL surgery in general, like, I'm not sure how much it's done truly because one, you can't sit for a while after and there's such a risk because you have such major arteries in that part of your body that if one of those arteries gets blocked, it's curtains, my boy, it's over for you. Doesn't seem worth it at all.

on something that's so rarely seen. Who's looking at the bare ass of a man? It's rare. It's rare. I'm saying there are definitely things that you're getting before that, right? A million things before the butt. I had a buddy whose girlfriend definitely had it. And yet, you guys tell me, they broke up, and that was when I said, hey, she had her butt done, right?

And he was like, oh, yeah. And I was like, okay, got you, got you, got, got, yeah. Like, I only felt comfortable broaching it after they were broken up because, like, while it was this girl, I felt inappropriate. What do you guys think? Like, I felt compelled to bring it up. Are you allowed to bring it up? In this day and age, I think you need to be announcing it if you had it done. I would want everyone to know.

She didn't announce it. I mean, I met her with it. It's not like she got, like, one day she came in and we were like, what have you been eating here? Oh, oh, you met her with it. That's different. So there was no drastic change. You just saw her and you're like, ooh. baby, there was some big booty.

And you just assumed. Yeah, I mean, it certainly looked artificial, like for her body. Yeah, that I don't think you can ask. You can't ask. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, you approached it right. Yeah. Yeah. Break up, spill the tea now.

Oh, yeah. I'll tell you this. Shout out to my friend who I won't name, but you know who you are. My good buddy. Len? No. His wife got sort of a mommy makeover. His wife got a mommy makeover.

She looks incredible. But I do remember this distinctly because he was waiting for her when she was sort of, you know, at the surgeon's office because obviously it can take hours. And so he was the kind of surgeon who would upload, he would obviously not show anyone's face, but during surgeries would upload stories to the plastic surgery account saying like, you know, this is who I have today. And we're doing a bit of a mommy makeover, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. and Len my boy, I mean, I don't know who. Oops. Shit, I'm going to have to cut this.

Anyway, my friend, Rick, uh, I gotta bleep that. We'll bleep it. Was like, yo, like, check, like, see if they're almost done with the surgery because you kind of, like, they would upload things in like,

kind of real time-ish. And so I go on the plastic surgeon's Instagram story, and I'm like, Like, I'll never be able to look at her the same way again. Like, I just saw, I saw a lot. And she looked incredible, but I was like, that's my first wife. At what point do you, like, when are you approached by the plastic surgeon asking if they can share your work on his social? Is that like a consent before?

And what benefit is there to saying yes? Is there a discount, perhaps? That's what I'm saying. Like, I don't get it. I didn't like, that's, they don't show the face though, right? That's right. Oh, oh, so you just, so you just knew. That's right.

You just knew what you were looking at. Yeah. I've seen that ass a thousand times. Well, I knew like, I'm like, unless he's doing two surgeries at once. I knew it was her. But I, you know, let's remember we're three coastal elites here. Like, I think people are much more accepting of being on people's social media. than we think.

Like anonymous people. Yeah, but maybe. And they're kept anonymous. I guess that's true. Like, no one, like the daily mail isn't going to put a story out about random person and wherever. Right. Yeah.

And I mean, I guess. She looked incredible. Like, I think people are kind of like, hey, I look great, you know,

I'm getting a little, you know, mommy makeover. Why not? Beautiful. Crazy. Right. Wow.

I'm going to have to run this little portion by good old Len. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by the McDonald's Quarter Pounder with cheese. Ooh, baby, let's talk about something delicious, something hot and juicy, something cooked when you order, something fit for a good guy. It's the Quarter Pounder with cheese. It's a burger so iconic that it's simply known as the QPC. Each QPC features a burger that's sizzled on a flat iron grill and then topped with slivered onions, crispy pickles, and two slices of melty cheese on a sesame seed bun. I'm salivating, just talking about this. I am not doing well, my friends.

Let's distract ourselves by talking about our ideal moment to savor and enjoy a QPC, which after recording this ad, maybe the minute we're done recording this episode. Look, I'm about to hop in my car, drive to the nearest McDonald's and pick up a QPC, eat it in my car because there's nothing quite like a car QPC. The only thing that beats a car QPC is perhaps a Mick Delivery QPC. Hey, I'm watching TV. I don't want to get up. at my door, make delivery QPC, doesn't that sound absolutely delicious? The QPC is a burger

that napkins were made for. And as someone who enjoys sauces galore, I feel extremely seen. You know I love the sauce. Ooh, baby, sauces are delicious. The QPC, baby, it's where it's at. It's the burger, worthy of a nickname. Order the QPC today. Wait before cooking four ounces, fresh beef available at most restaurants in the contiguous U.S., not available in Alaska, Hawaii, and U.S. territories. So clearly we don't talk about politics here, but I think we'd be remiss to not at least have a little kick-around session. We got to say a little something.

We've been skirting around it for 24 minutes, just a little something, just a small taste. Biden dropped out. He's gone. And Richard Simmons had a final Instagram post that his team put out. Oh, sorry. I thought, sorry, I misunderstood. You know who I think should run for president, Josh? Who?

You know who I think should run for president? Us? Hans is, Hans is the one. And Malc, was it, and Magnus is the two? Hans Neiman and Magnus Carlson? Wow. One two, but yes, Biden dropped out. He's gone.

One thing that I would love your opinion on, I don't think this is very political. The man drops out because he says that he's not fit anymore to, run for president. Yet he's going to be president for the next seven months, eight months, nine months? Well, isn't that a little strange? Yeah, isn't that a little strange? Like, I'm not fit to run for president. So I'm going to continue to be your president for the next year. I thought that was a little odd. I couldn't really like get past that. Like, you're not the only one. Why wouldn't Harris, like, why wouldn't Kamala just be president now? You're not the only one. A lot of people have brought that up. I think the sort of the

thought is, and I'm quoting Bill Maher here when I say this, but Bill would say Biden can be president. He just can't run for president because it's two very, very different things, right? Because running for president means you're going and campaigning all over the country. You're constantly moving five, six events a day. I mean, it is truly. Exhausting. Exhausting. A physical toll on even a young person.

But I guess the theory is the idea of like if he can just sit and be surrounded. by a team and make certain decisions and choices for the next few months that he can do an adequate job and probably is is reminiscent of what he's been doing the last year whether you agree with him or not is sort of like not a lot's going to change because he can keep it more insulated I guess that makes sense that does make sense not being out on the campaign trail is huge yeah yeah that makes sense and that's been that on politics from the good guys well my politics My politics. Get out there and vote.

I encourage you to vote. Everybody vote. Quickly before you get into your point, my biggest peep in the whole fucking world is what I just did when people come on that it's mainly influencers that do it. When they're like, go out and vote,

I'm like, I was voting if you told me to or not. Like, it is like my number one, like right as an American is to vote. Like, I don't need Jamie Lee Curtis telling me to vote. Of course I'm voting. What are you nuts?

I totally agree. You are. sending me up for my Woody & Nuts, which I'd like to do now. What I would say is half the country doesn't vote. Well, that's nuts on them. Which is fucking nuts. Yeah, you can't, you can't live here and take this free society for granted. Like, people worked really fucking hard to allow us to vote.

It's what makes us different. If you want, you go live in Cuba. No, you live here. Vote. But don't let Ben get political. Move to Cuba, you fucking Tom. Oh, I just got a cramp in my leg. That was so funny.

So my Woody and Nuts is, and please, Marshall and Ben wait in on this, my Waddy and Nuts is five minutes after, and this is five minutes after Biden decides that he's not going to run again, it was like anyone with over a thousand followers on social media had to get their press teams together to release a statement. What are you nuts? You're the 10th lead on Long Island. Who cares?

I don't care what your thoughts are. Don't share them. I don't care. What are you nuts? Nut. And I felt the same way. I've never seen it before. It almost felt like the world of influencers and celebrities felt that Kamala Harris was so approachable that they could get to her by putting up a post.

Like I saw like a hundred people all post. Kamala, if you ever need anything, I'm here. She didn't need anything from you. you Josh Gad, bleep that. What are you nuts? She doesn't need anything. Like, she's... What?

I'm so with you. So dumb. It kind of feels like a sign of the Times, too, where we're in an era where the public is expecting people to comment on everything. But I don't think everything is worth everyone's opinion. And no one, like, we don't need everyone's hot take on every little issue. The public is expecting that from people. But that public, I think, is so.

small. Like, we never talk about politics on this show and nobody has ever DMed me saying, Ben, I need your political opinions. Of course. Because they don't want, they don't want that for me. Like, they don't, they never. And like, I feel the same way on social. Like, I will rarely talk about the things that are very important to me. And when I do, I'm loud. But I do my absolute best to keep it light, keep it funny. Like, that's what I do. And like the people who talk about politics, that's what they do. And church and state, I prefer it that way. Look, if you're a doesn't move markets, we don't need to hear it when it comes to politics. Like I don't, I don't agree with them a lot.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. But like, Elon Musk, richest man in the world, fine, he's gonna chirp. Mark Cuban wants to give an opinion, great. Dave Portnoy wants to give an opinion, like, all right, like, these are people who have shown a record of like, they give their opinion when things matter and, you know, they're on both ends of the spectrum, that's fine. But like, if you're last vision, video on social media, was you doing the gritty?

I don't give a shit. I just don't. Want to go to a speak pipe? Let's go to a speak pipe. Okay. If you want to get advice from us, if you want to ask questions of us, keep it brief. Brevity is key and go to speakpipe.com slash good guys, and we will answer your questions on the air. This first one's from Lauren.

Hi, guys, big fan. Okay, I need some help. This is a very real problem. I have TSA pre-check and my friend who I am traveling with does not. And I am wondering if I'm a bitch for meeting her on the other side. Okay, let me know. Thanks. No, of course not.

No, like, this isn't like a group dance. Like, you go through. She goes through. You get on the plane. She misses her flight. She misses her flight. It stinks. It's honestly what I did when I was incredibly stubborn.

for like three years with my wife. She had TSA. She had clear. She had global entry. I was this big buffoon that's like, I don't need that. What's that for? And like I would consistently be a half hour behind her.

But she'd go. I'd meet her on the plane. Josh? Couldn't agree more. That's the code. If you don't want to pay for it, you don't want to go and have the government to a really deep background check

into all your goings-ons. Hey, babe, take your shoes off, pull your laptop out, laptop out, and go fuck yourself. because I'm flying through. Yes. Flying.

Running. Running for the hills. It's got to be the code. I think so. I think that's a simple one. Easy. Clear cut. Speaking of,

because this whole episode is about my dear friend Len, like my boy Len will pull some silly shit. Like if we're flying together, he'll be like, oh, bro. Like, I'll just try to, like, you have, you have precheck. I'll just try to sneak in the precheck line with you. I'm like, we're at the airport, dog. Like, yeah. We're not at the club.

No, no. There's no, no, we're not. And you're certainly not letting him try to sneak in on your precheck. Then you could lose your precheck. God forbid. God forbid. Not worth it at all. Not worth it at all.

This next one is from Anonymous. Hi, Josh and Ben. I just wanted to call with a Woody and Nuts, honestly. And I don't think either of you will be very sympathetic, but it's fine. my what do you nuts is the fucking bar exam like we went through three years of law school and now you want us to learn and memorize 14 different bodies of law in a 12 hour two day test when any lawyer not looking up the law would be committing malpractice what are you fucking nuts like it just makes no sense like maybe a one day test maybe having cursory knowledge of all these things but like to be expected to know all of this shit so in depth is actually insane to me and I'm sure you guys are familiar with lawyers, bad lawyers, and I'm sure on your end, you think, oh, I want my lawyer to go through the scrutiny of the exam, like, that's what you sign up for, which, you know, sure, I guess you kind of do. But when you're going through it and you realize how much unnecessary

shit they make you know in your brain, it's just a big what do you nuts to me. So I guess I want your take on that. And that's all. Ben, would you like to give your take? Okay, I'll go. Okay, so first of all, I think you're nuts, lady, because everybody in the world, including us non-lawyers, knows that to be a lawyer, you got to take the bar. So don't go to law school if you're disinterested in the bar. The bar exam is highly rigorous, very difficult. Everybody knows it. So I think it's a little bit nuts to go through law school and be like, I don't want to take the bar. The bar stinks.

But you knew that before you went to law school. That's one. Two, I definitely want my lawyer to know as much about law as possible, right? So I like the bar exam. And three, I despise lawyers. I despise them. I have plenty of friends that are lawyers. And I'm like, what are you nuts for going into this profession where we're all just paying so much money in a what happens in a worst case scenario?

They are human. It's human insurance. Like it's just, I hate it. Like if we could just all be half decent people and honor our word and not be scumbags, we wouldn't need lawyers. That's all I'm saying. It doesn't work in this world. We need protection from all of those said scumbags, but lawyers are nuts. So here's my thought.

You know, there is a, and I don't think the bar exam is quite like this, but when you're going to go to med school, the notorious class is organic chemistry as considered sort of the weeding out class. And as a man who minored in chemistry, are you familiar with this? Of course. Did you take O-Kem? I did. Cute.

Look how I said that. O'Cham. Guess what I got in O'Cab? What? A D. That's a problem. I had a really tough time with organic chemistry. I'm not going to lie.

It was so cool, too. Like, oh, Ben, can you hang out tonight? Nah. I got an organic chemistry lab. Like, I felt so cool. It was really hard. I don't remember anything. That's so funny.

Well, it's like, that's the old joke of what do you call a doctor who got D's in med school? A dentist? A doctor. Oh, a doctor. Oh, okay. That's the problem. Right.

So it's an incredibly challenging class, and they say it's like it foreshadows kind of what your experience is going to be in med school, because it will require that level of diligence and preparation and studying. And so if you have a really hard time or you can't pass OKM, there's a really good chance. Maybe you shouldn't go forward with medical school. Not in all cases. Obviously, I'm sure there are plenty of TikToks. someone who starts it with, I failed O-Kem three times, and look at me now, I'm a doctor, to which I'd say, yikes for your patients. Anyway, I think the bar exam is probably something like that too.

It's like less about specific knowledge of the law and more about the totality of like, do you have a brain for law? Do you have what's required to practice good law? Is there the bar equivalent for, there isn't the bar equivalent for medical school? Sure, there is. The boards, board certify. Yeah, yeah, good. That makes sense.

Good. Very good. So, wait, I pulled up a sample question from the bar exam, and if the questions were like this, we would be acing that shit. Should we do it? Yeah, yeah, please. Okay, criminal law grasping the concept of intent. Question, can Anne be convicted of burglary if her defense is that she entered the building

solely to seek refuge from a sudden storm? Here are your options. One, yes, Anne can be convicted of burglary even if she entered the building to seek refuge. Two, no, Anne cannot be convicted a burglary if she entered the building solely to seek refuge. Three, maybe depends on whether Anne had a history of committing crimes. Four, it depends on the severity of the storm that Anne encountered. One, two, three, or four, boys. Wow.

Three. The maybe. Yeah, like, just because there was a storm doesn't mean that she was a, a burglar. And just because she was a burglar doesn't mean that there was a storm. She needs to have been a burglar and there happened to have been a storm. She comes inside because of the storm. All of a sudden, she's trying to seek refuge, but she breaks in. And then she burglarizes. But breaking and entering and being a burglar are two different things. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Why am I saying it like a burger? Burglar.

That's me and men, we're burglars. I was going to say I thought that's breaking and entering I thought burglarizing was like No burglarizing is when you sneak into a McDonald's

and steal six burgers Like the hamburger So it's three right Wow we're all really stupid No but remember here She entered the building solely to seek refuge From a sudden storm

Without intent to burglarize And this is concept of intent But did she solely to seek refuge? Oh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. So no, it's B. It's B. No.

Yes. And Ann cannot be convicted of burglary if she entered the building solely to seek refuge from a sudden storm. Yeah, but that's such like, that's like a classic, like SAT dumb question. Like, if they just wrote it, like, there was a, there was a storm. Everybody was, it was hell of windy, okay? And rain was dumb windy, dog. And rain was dumping down. So Anne decided to pop into this building to, because she was getting rained on.

When did Anne become a criminal? She, like, they made it overly complicated. Like, to trick you. I hate this shit. It was raining no cap and the locks on the door were made. One more, one more? That, come on, one more. Yes, no, yeah.

No, by the way, five more. I love this. We need, this is almost as good as we're the anti-Semitic. Yeah, almost. Okay. Contract law. Which of the following statements is true regarding the scenario where Jane proposed to sell her car to John for $5,000 but sold the car to someone else the very next day

without receiving any acceptance or consideration from John? One, yes, John can sue Jane for breach of contract because she made an offer to him. Two, no, John cannot sue Jane for breach of contract because no contract was formed between them. Three, maybe. John can sue Jane for breach of contract because he needed time to think it over. Four, it depends on the type of contract Jane proposed. It's either B or D because I don't know if an oral commitment is considered contractual as it relates to the sale of the law. I do know.

I do know that it is in some cases. So I'm going to go with D. I was thinking D too. A bunch of scholars here. The answer is B. No. Shit. John cannot sue Jane for breach of contract

because no contract was formed between them. Okay. Wow. Okay. All right. Good on you, Jane. Scumbag Jane. Promise the car to John.

He sold his car. He was ready going to pick it up. He's like, I got a great price on a new carola. He gets there after taking three buses and four trains. Hey, Jane, can I have my corolla? No, John. I sold it for double what I sold it to you for yesterday.

Oh, scumbag Jane. Freaking Jane. You have a what are you nuts, Ben? Fricking Jane. Yes. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Oh, wait, fuck, I've lost it.

I lost it. No, just, just bear with me for a second. Think your time. This is, oh, I got it. Okay. I got it. I got it. And in next week's episode, I'm going to go into my entire experience at the Luke

Combs concert, but this is just a snippet from the Luke Combs concert. We went to the Luke Combs concert last week, or over the weekend, it was fantastic, but there was a what-a-you-nuts moment. There were multiple what-a-unuts moments. We're in a bit of a green room, Josh, right? Like we, you know, like when we went to the Nick game, you get nice, special treatment because celebrities like ourselves, you know, sure. We get that, we get that sort of thing. And we're in a nice room and there's one bathroom. Now, when there's one bathroom for men and women, typically, the way that it works, right, is it's a single stall. Or sometimes they go crazy and there's like four or five stalls in there and anybody can sort of do their business, right? Right.

This particular, we're tracking, we're tracking, this particular bathroom I walked in, my wife walked in, her sister walked in. We all walk into the bathroom. On the right is urinals, Josh, and on the left is stalls. And I thought that was nuts. I thought that was nuts, a complete waddy-a-nuts. In what world am I going to pop up to the urinal, whip out my schmeck when my wife, her sister, or any other woman is in that bathroom at the same time? I thought it was totally nuts. I, of course, went to the stall, did my business there, and I just thought that the co-ed

of the urinal and the non-urinal was nuts. You know, at first, I was not on board with you, but then I really, as the great actor, I am. I really sense-memoried it, and I created the scenario in my head, and I felt my sister-in-law is behind me and would I. And you know what? You're right. I wouldn't feel comfortable either. No, it's nuts. It's literally nuts. Marshall? Nuts. Nuts. Good and what do you is? As always, rate us five stars. If not, what are you nuts? Listen to us on Spotify, Apple,

wherever you eat your podcast, watch us on Josh's YouTube. We're so animated. It's so fantastic. share clips, TikTok, and Instagram. And Mondays and Thursdays, folks, don't forget to check out both. See you next time. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.