Good Guys - The Rizzler for Prime Minister

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

Mazel morons! The Guys in Green are back IN PERSON in NYC, imagining a brighter future where The Rizzler becomes Prime Minister and marries a recently divorced Kelly Clarkson. Between bites of Apollo ...Bagels and whitefish, we delve into the world of internet fame and unfortunate legacies. Plus, we pay our respects to Dustin Diamond (AKA Screech,) dream up our ideal fast-food franchise, and critique the Rafael Nadal wannabes at Equinox who won't take off their headbands. What are ya nuts?! Love ya!   Write us! Send your messages to goodguyspodcast1@gmail.com  Follow us on Instagram and TikTok!  Sponsors: Visit www.xyzal.com for more information For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code GOODGUYS10 If you’re looking for a better way to season and prepare everyday meals, you really need to try Diamond Crystal® Kosher Salt, a chef trusted, additive free salt made with light, flaky crystals for easy control, available online and nationwide at your favorite stores like Target, Kroger, Albertsons and more. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Two Jews, both big and tall, no subject, too small for the good guys. A mother's dream, premium podcast team, make it your weekly routine, it's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars, what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys. We're not the great guys. We're just so good a good guy.
Starting point is 00:00:34 I'm in New York City with my bestie bed and we collaborated on our shirt collar coordinate. This is nuts. This is weird. Really weird? Oh, my God. We're the men in green. This is like a Gap commercial. Oh, my God. In green, seeing you in person is just, it's just too good.
Starting point is 00:00:53 It's a game changer. It's like we have a good podcast. Yeah, this podcast could be. My God. It's really a shame. You know what's a shame is that you're right. We have a middle. to very popular pod,
Starting point is 00:01:06 but in my brain, we're Joe Rogan. But this, this right now, the men in green is Joe Rogan. I feel like I'm on 106 in Park right now.
Starting point is 00:01:17 No, no, we are. Yeah, we're there. I'm Charlemagne. We're hanging out. Yes. We're there. I'm there. By the way,
Starting point is 00:01:24 speaking of 10th and park, and by that, I mean, 10th and third, Josh. Have you heard of the Apollo? Bagels? Third time you've asked, none of us have heard of it.
Starting point is 00:01:33 No one's heard of it. Geneer hasn't heard of it. I haven't heard of it. No one's heard of this bagel. I saw this on TikTok, okay? And it must be good. And they looked unbelievable. And today's a Friday, 10.30. There was a line. Yeah. Nobody works anymore. Look at this. Ready? I got two bagels. They do open faces. Wow. Isn't that lovely? Doesn't that look good? Are you kidding me? So that's their bagel and locks? That's unbelievable. And then Josh, they're whitefish. Doesn't this look unbelievable? Yeah, it looks insane. Insane. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:02:04 So we don't eat it now, we can do it later, we can try it now, whatever we want. Yeah, maybe we should do a bite? Okay, we'll do a bite. Should we do a bite? I'm going to fall asleep. I know. You can't, damn it. All right, let's.
Starting point is 00:02:13 You and your gluten. What's, let's, let's go in here first. This is, sorry about your studio smelling like smoked fish for the next 11 weeks. Sorry, you mean, you're welcome. We get a candle with the smokefish. Here, cheers. To us, to you. To, oh.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Wow. Oh, that's fantastic. The capers, is there some lemon? Oh my God, there's a glob of cream cheese on my pants. Fell through the middle. No. That's not right. That's not right.
Starting point is 00:02:47 That hurts. Do you have a... We're going to need a beach towel over that. But this isn't right. That's no way to live. You know what I noticed, too? Can you see the... Can I see?
Starting point is 00:02:57 Look at this perfect clob. Oh, my God. It's like Mount Kilimanjaro. I don't even know. If only I had the... If only I had the... You want to try to... the white fish. This apparently, this white fish, it said that there was mustard. I don't know where
Starting point is 00:03:12 the mustard is. But look, I don't know if you can see this. This looks insane. Are you single-handedly keeping the whitefish industry in business? Oh, for sure. Like, even though Kirkland, not Kirkland, Costco, does the Blue Hill big white fish, unless we're the only ones buying it, they do well at Costco. I don't doubt it. But yeah. Cheers to this gorgeous. Cheers. I don't think anyone in my Irish Catholic extended family have ever been like a next white fish, you know? Oh, lovely. And I get that tang of mustard. Wow.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Really good. What a time. What but these aside? It's our craft service. That wasn't even a brand deal. We're slim kings. You have a delicious food? We're tried on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:03 We're not against it. 100%. It would be nice if the next time I go. I don't have to wait in that terrible line. Do you know how many times? I thought to myself, you know, I'm going to leave. I'm not going to wait in this line. Yeah. It's not worth it. It's simply not worth it. Like I'll just tell Josh, you know, I tried. I'll get credit for trying. Is it off? No. Did it here? Here? Here? Yeah, yeah, you're good. But I'm not waiting on this line. I don't need this line. And then I waited on the line and it was worth it. I vacillate between being, I guess I am. I'm like an egomaniac with an imping. inferiority complex, because at any given time, I will say, Josh, you're the lowest of the low.
Starting point is 00:04:45 You're not so special. That's the Zepam talking. You think you're so great? It's the Zepam. Not the kind of get from row.com. Absolutely not. But I'm hoping to do a big social expanding campaign. Feel free to book it any time.
Starting point is 00:05:02 And then in other times when I'm in those lines, they go, I'm too good for this. Yeah. I said that I'm waiting in line with you, Plebians. Yeah. You plebeians, you civilians? Plebeians, civilians. It's not right. It's not right.
Starting point is 00:05:16 But the thing is, it's not right for anybody to be waiting online for food. I don't know how we adjust the experience. I also know, ironically, because this is who we are as human beings, if I got there and there was no line, I would have said, oh, this place isn't that, all that. Not so special. The hype. Not the bomb.com. Seeing other people waiting, it's funny, you walk into their store very narrow.
Starting point is 00:05:39 So the whole line on the street, that's 95% of the line. Sure. There's four people in that store, probably by design. Yes. Because it appears to people like everyone's waiting. When really it's 18 people. It's all appearances. All appearances.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Right? Yeah, I just, I don't know who said it recently, but like I'm not willing to wait in line for any food. Yeah. I'm especially not going to wait in line for what is basically peasant food, right? Correct. Biggles are the peasant food of our people. Correct.
Starting point is 00:06:08 An inexpensive food, even when done well, pretty darn affordable. Correct. Pizza, peasant food, ramen, peasant food, but it's so damn good. It is. Because these cultures, they elevate the food and they get the good ingredients. Yeah. And they do the broth for three days, but never it's noodles and soup. 100%.
Starting point is 00:06:26 You know, so I'm not going to wait in line for this. No. I'm certainly not going to wait in line for caviar. Who am I? No, no, I'm not waiting in line. I'm not waiting in line for anything. This, surprisingly affordable, $16. I thought that was a pretty good price for a bagel in locks.
Starting point is 00:06:38 16 for just a bagel with locks. Bigel with locks. I feel like that's... Is it standard? Pretty stand? It is? Well, a bagel with cream cheese should... Five bucks.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Yeah, I mean, it really should be three. But yeah, okay. It should be three. I agree. And then $11 for the fish. Yeah. All right. It felt...
Starting point is 00:06:55 I wasn't upset. I saw it. I was like, okay. Yeah, that makes sense to me. This is going to get real Jewishie complaining. So I went to a bodega near my hotel on my way here. Okay. I got my usual.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Nice, big ghost. energy drink, sour pink lemonade. Beautiful. You know? Yeah, sure. I feel like I'm in 10th grade on heroin. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. You know, you get a real sweet tooth with the opiates.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I'm glitching. It's true. And I got one of my barbell protein bars. I hadn't eaten anything. You farting like crazy? Not yet. Those make you fart. It's coming.
Starting point is 00:07:32 No, the malatol. That's what it is. It's so delicious. It's delicious. It's what's in all those sugar, Your mom, your mom definitely had these. You remember those like squishy dots that were sugar-free? Oh, we had everything.
Starting point is 00:07:45 The sugar-free candy. You will actually, you're going to have it, you'll have a stomach ache for a month. Yeah. So worth it. So delicious. That's some bear bells. This might be before your time. I was around when frozen yogurt dropped, like originated.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Like tasty delight, you mean? Like tasty delight, but like the origination of like the diet frozen yogurt shop. Yeah, yeah. No, I remember. With way too much toppings. Yeah. And no, they very much exist still in Florida. You go.
Starting point is 00:08:14 In Florida. Lactose-free, dairy-free. Carblet. Yeah. Kosha. Carbless. There's nothing in it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:22 And then you get it. And it tastes, it's like, it's like flate, it kind of smells like peanut butter. But it doesn't really taste like anything. And it will give you the world's worst gas. Yes. You're doomed. And they say it's 80 calories. is you don't know what is 80 calories.
Starting point is 00:08:39 That 80 calories for a half a cup. What is 80 calories? You get a large... I specifically remember my dad just getting enormous sugar-free, dairy-free ice creams. Because you know, as a fellow food addict, it's like it's volume. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:55 You want to feel like we're crushing something. Volume. Yeah. I said to myself yesterday, I was like, because I want to lose a couple of pounds. We have a big night tomorrow. I'm like, I want to feel felt. I want to feel good.
Starting point is 00:09:05 I want my brain to feel good. So I was like, you know, then why don't you? you just try and eat a little bit less? That's all. You know, you're hungry. You don't need your pliables at nine o'clock. How about you try not to eat until 12? I ruined it with two bites of Apollo, but what's two bites of Apollo? Nothing. Normally, I'd be eating that whole thing. I'd be munching down, chomping down. It takes a lot of mental energy to go and say, I'm not going to eat all of that, but that's the key. Not being a volume eater for me. Right. That's the key to
Starting point is 00:09:34 weight loss. I can eat anything. I can eat anything. I just can't eat all. All of everything. All of anything. I mean, my mom who's also had her, you know, food journey in her life, I remember, like, in the 90s when we lived in Boceraton, Florida, when yogurt shops hit, she would get, I'm talking, this 16 ounce ice coffee cup, it would be the equivalent to about three of these in frozen yogurt. Piled high.
Starting point is 00:10:00 And it was like, it was like a eating disorder meet up, right? Because then there'd be one lady who would be about 90, pounds who would come every single day and she'd get the biggest frozen yogurt and she would sit in her car and she would get a, this is, it's not to be joked about. Yes, it is. She would get a sample spoon, the mini spoon. Wow. And eat the Mount Kilimanjaro of yogurt with the sample spoon slowly in her car.
Starting point is 00:10:27 So it lasted longer. And it had like 11 calories the whole thing. Yeah. But I just remember honking down those frozen yogurts, carbolite. Yeah. And then the new flavors would drop and it would be the talk of the town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they tasted good enough.
Starting point is 00:10:42 They got it. Oh, God. What a journey. What a food journey we're all on. Yeah, it's so interesting. And then when you, I mean, you've sort of mastered this a little bit with your, what is it, 16-8 that you do? Oh, with my eating window, my intimate and vassing, which I've not been good on recently. But like, once you realize if you don't eat today, you're not going to die.
Starting point is 00:11:06 I haven't been able to fully convince myself of that yet, but it's the truth. Like, what do we need to really eat once every three days? I mean, technically. Technically. I know we should. I guess. We'd survive.
Starting point is 00:11:17 We'd survive. Sure. We're not dying. Sure. But, like, especially, it might just be, like, Jewish culture, but it's like, if we miss dinner, we're dead. Yeah. Like, if you miss one singular meal, you're dead.
Starting point is 00:11:28 Yeah. And I think that that's what's led, it's probably not just Jewish culture. It's probably American culture in general. That's what's led to this, like, I need breakfast. I need a snack. I need lunch. I need a snack. I need dinner,
Starting point is 00:11:37 I need dessert. Right. And that's why we're so fucking fat. I've just... And thinking about it, that's what the O-Zempic and Zep-bound or whatever, anything from Roe does.
Starting point is 00:11:47 It quietes the food noise. Right. This guy didn't shut the fuck up for 34 years. Right. Now he's a little quiet. Right, but it doesn't quiet that noise that tells you to go by stool and a rope.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Can they see any... Hold me. Can you imagine? Oh, my God. It's also stopping people from drinking. I have a lot of friends that are on any of these GLPs, and they're like, I have no urge to drink. I'm like, that's stuff for my business. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Oh, great. Thanks a lot. That's tough. The Sprint Society. That's tough. The promo code. Oh, God. I was going to say, speaking of which, we have a new flavor that's in Target.
Starting point is 00:12:34 It's over there, even though none of you're going to do. drink it. You should get you should do a Zepbound collab with Spritz. Congratulations. I'll show it to you anyways quickly even though none of you were going to drink it Josh this is the skinny sprits 100 calories no sugar
Starting point is 00:12:50 like an apparel spritz What is it normally calories? 120 and 8 grams of sugar we're at 100 no sugar So gorge perfect You can buy it at any target locally or you don't have to buy because you're on Zepbound and you're not drinking. What is there? What is
Starting point is 00:13:06 Aparol tastes like? Orange. Bitter orange. Bitter orange. That's what it tastes like. Lightly bittered. It tastes like a slightly bitter orange soda. You'd enjoy the taste of it. I think it would actually taste good as a mocks tail. A mocktail. I turned it into an ox tail. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds nice. Oh, I love a good ox tail. Mox tail. I love Caribbean food. Same. I bought jerk seasoning the other day. I haven't used it yet. So excited. Just rub it on a nice. nice piece of chicken. Yeah. Yeah, right? I think we don't, we don't cook with jerk enough at home.
Starting point is 00:13:40 No. We're just jerking off. We're not cooking with jerk. Yeah, we need to jerk hard. We need to jerk off with jerk. Imagine taking a little jerk paste. Yes. And just cranking. Mom, stop listening. Eva, turn it off now. Please. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Zizol. Folks, you know Zizol. You know that over-the-counter medicine with the cute little owl that helps you relieve allergies for 24 hours. Folks, Zizol allergy 24-hour relieves allergies while you sleep so you wake up refreshed for a productive next day. There's nothing worse than having allergy flare-ups, okay?
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Starting point is 00:15:01 on ragweed. You know, I need protection from ragweed and so do you. Folks, Zizol allergy 24-hour relieves allergies while you sleep so you wake up feeling refreshed for a productive next day. There's nothing worse than having allergy flare-ups, okay? Folks, be wisel, take Zizel at night. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Nutraful. Folks, you know that feeling when your hairline starts filling in or when you head out the door and realize you didn't even do the last mirror check to make sure everything is sitting right? No, I don't know those feelings. Actually, I do sometimes, but let me tell you, they are few and far between, especially before
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Starting point is 00:16:56 taking up space in your head, and see thicker, stronger, faster, growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutraful. For a limited time, Nutraful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping. When you visit NutraFol.com and enter promo code Good Guys 10. That's NutraFol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com promo code Good Guys 10. Should we get to a weird story? I would love to hear some weird news. What's going on at the post-H-Q?
Starting point is 00:17:26 What are they doing over there? I just want to thank the New York Post for basically being our news department because no one else be doing it like them. No, you guys know where to source this weird crap. Well, foreigners hilariously revealed the stuff branded American to those outside the U.S. Doritos, Solo Cups, and more. This redefines what it means to be American. Do people in other countries have U.S. finger traps and Little America? Residents of other nations are blowing United States residents' residents'
Starting point is 00:17:56 minds after revealing what gets labeled American back home, much of which isn't even popular in the home of the brave. Okay, ready? Cool American Doritos. Okay. Wait, where are they calling? Like, overseas, their marketing is that they're, instead of cool ranch Doritos, it's cool American Doritos?
Starting point is 00:18:15 Exactly. Wow. Of that. Because, you know, in the U.S., we have French fries, Belgian waffles, Russian roulette, Greek yogurt. I've never once thought of those regions, though, as a lot of. I'm eating those foods. Right.
Starting point is 00:18:29 It's just, the French fry is, where's the French fry invented? Definitely in America. You think? No, they've been eating papas everywhere. I guess that's true. We've been frying potatoes for a long time. We gotta be. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:44 We definitely invented the ratio of 90% fried to 10% potato though. Sure. It's a very us thing, you know? Oh, yeah, that's us all day. Yeah, I feel like more like a steak fry was maybe like something that they used to do. Okay, but so a cool American Dorito. What else we got?
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah, they've also revealed that foreigners are enjoying solo cups that are being called American. By the way, that's great. What's more American than a red solo cup? You know that song? Red solo cup. You fill me hub. Let's have a party. Who is it?
Starting point is 00:19:18 That's a country song? Kenny Chesney, maybe. Of course it is. So good. Is it Kenny Chesney? Do you know? You don't worry about it. You don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:19:26 It's not worth it. I lie all the time anyways. I don't know. You know, that's the thing about country music in general, but I guess like, I love hip hop, right? So people that listen to that go like, who gives this shit about a chain? Yeah. You know, like, oh, you're Molly Perkissette? Cool.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Like, cool songs. But then I hear a country music song about like trucks and solo cups. And I'm like, really? This is appealing. Yeah. No, it's the same thing. It is? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Yeah. Just depends on, like, who you are and what vibe you're in the mood for. I like, I don't love country music. But when I hear a great country song, she loves it. She loves it. The Audrey girls in general, big country fans. They've been big country fans when no one was country fans. Which is so anti their New York upbringing.
Starting point is 00:20:04 It's so funny. They're such New Yorkers. They're such New Yorkers, but they've loved country music forever. And now I feel like modern country is a little bit more me. Like Luke Combs, anything, he releases is awesome. Like, yeah, those old, older songs, but they're a vibe. It, like, depends on what you're in the mood for. Like, if you're in the mood to just, like, hang out and barbecue.
Starting point is 00:20:26 It's like nice to like listen Like hardcore rap when you're barb- When do you listen to it at the gym? It's like I'd rather listen to rap at the gym Right. And I don't think I could listen to rap at a barbecue Right? You're flipping burgers, you're listening to Molly Percocet And you're looking at your son.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Molly Burgoset, I couldn't listen to like mumble rap Or like or like some crazy British drill rap In the middle of trying to have a couple burgers with the bros Oh, and they go, go, go. Go, no, no, no, no, go. Oi, oi, oi, o. Those songs are insane. But they honestly, they're pretty hype.
Starting point is 00:21:00 I hear them occasionally. I'll like go on like the wrong side of TikTok. I'm like, how did I end up here? Like I don't, British rap. Oh yeah. And they're pretty good. Yeah, British rappers are crushing it. But I, yeah, I like, you know, I want to listen to some 90s rap.
Starting point is 00:21:15 I want to listen to a little Nas Ilmatics. You know, I just want to listen to, you know me. Music pre-2010. Yeah. That's me. That's all that I need. I've been listening to so much Neo. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Really? Oh, yeah. Big time. Great. I love, like, is that even considered old school R&B? I guess, like, or is that like... Yeah, Midots R&B. He's a man.
Starting point is 00:21:36 I have 100 Waddy and Nuts is, so I'll just give one right now. Please. Men, grown men wearing headbands is a Waddya Nuts, Josh. Okay? I'm not referencing duress. If it's part of your culture, you want to wear a du rag, no problem. I'm talking about the guy that's walking into an equinox wearing a headband. Sure.
Starting point is 00:21:52 I walk past him. The one that you tie in the back, you think you're raff on the... You're not Rafa Nadal, Craig. You're going in for your personal training. You're a CPA, Craig. And you're walking in with it, at least of the human decency to put it on once you're already in the locker room. You went from your apartment to Equinox at 8 o'clock in the morning wearing a Rafa Nadal tied headband in Manhattan. This is not Wimbledon, Craig.
Starting point is 00:22:14 I don't know what this is, Craig. But this is time for Craig to take a seat. Craig's got to get it together with your dumb headband. So dumb, right? It's stupid. What amazes me at Equinox, there's at least two guys that I go at my local equinox, which you know I love, I love,
Starting point is 00:22:29 I'd never disparage my favorite gym in the world. But they can't control all the clientele. Of course. There are two guys who literally set up stations in the open areas so that they've got their own little mini obstacle course. I'm like, this isn't Ninja Warrior, Dan? No. Like hit the elliptical, do a couple machines, get to the sauna.
Starting point is 00:22:50 And stop hogging the machines. They're doing six-foot box jumps. Yeah. I'm like, the glory days are over. Yeah, by the way. You're 42. Your credit scores 200. Go get a personal gym, by the way.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Can you get a private gym? Go somewhere else. This is a public gym. Yeah. Like, other people are there. It's a lack of the car of... It's terrible. No one can keep it together.
Starting point is 00:23:12 No, you can't keep it together. I just... And I can't not say anything, which means one day I'm not going to be here. Yeah, you're going to be a punch in the face. I'm great. I say nothing. God, you're so good. is the way I approach my entire life.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I see something. Do you know the last time that I locked eyes with a stranger on the street? I don't know. I have no idea. Like I literally, I'm walking down the street. Like, we're crossing. I don't make eye contact with you for a fucking second
Starting point is 00:23:41 because I know the second that I lock eyes with you, I'm toast. I'm toast. Really? Yeah, you're going to want to either converse with me, you're going to try and shiv me. You're going, I'm in trouble. if I lock eyes with you.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Right. On all ends of the spectrum, whether it's nice or whether it's danger. So no. Same thing with the gym. Wow. I'm,
Starting point is 00:24:04 I do my absolute best to avoid confrontation at all moments of the day. I invite it. I understand. My mom invites it too. My mom will call me. She's like,
Starting point is 00:24:14 Ben, you'll never believe it. Somebody threw a slushy at my car. I'm like, mom, I believe it. What did you do? What did you do? Just looked?
Starting point is 00:24:22 No, definitely not. Like, she like, Like, she's like, I don't understand. Like, I, uh, maybe he was there for the parking spot before me and I slid in behind him. But like, I should have, like, I'm entitled to the spot too. I'm like, please, mom, you're going to get yourself killed. Yeah, like my end game is being a Walmart greeter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:38 Sure. Like, because I'm good. I'll give you straight eye contact as you come in and I'll go, hi, Diane. Like, what are we, what are we getting? Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like the, you know, the trans fats aisle for.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Yeah. You know, and I'll see. And I'm, you know, I'll be good at. guessing too. Like I'll see a, you know, a disenfranchised, you know, teenager and I'll be like, you know, ammo. I'll be, you know, make sure I leave. Can I, let me get out of here first. That way. I'll be like, have fun, Tyler. Someone should invent like an AI greeter, not to take more jobs from people, but how amazing would it be? So not for, not for Walmart, for these places that already have greeters. I'm talking about the places.
Starting point is 00:25:23 that don't. I want to walk into my local grocery store and have somebody that tells me or something that tells me where everything is that I need. Wouldn't that be fantastic? I'm like walking around the grocery store. I finally find somebody that works there. I'm like, where's the jello? They're like, what do you need jello for? Right. Don't ask. Okay? I go find the jello and I check out. But it took me, if I didn't magically stumble upon that person, I would have been searching those aisles for hours. But it's coming, right? Because of the bane of our existence, which is self-checkout. The prices never got cheaper when self-checkout, but suddenly they were able to save on a bunch of employees because I'm doing it. Correct.
Starting point is 00:26:01 They don't say, hey, three bucks off your bill if you check out yourself. Which isn't right. And now I avoid normal checkout lines. Like it's the plague. Interesting. Because I'm like, because I know it's going to be a lot of items. They're going to go. They're going to go with slower pace.
Starting point is 00:26:14 I want to go in and out. But I'm not having human connection. Yeah. No, you're not. Yeah, we're lacking. We're lacking. We're also removing all color from the world. Have you noticed that?
Starting point is 00:26:24 I went to... That I can stand by. I went to... I went to 40 carrots in Bloomingdale's. It used to be like the marquee, like, retail restaurant, and it's all carrots. Like, there's bunches of carrots. It's orange, the whole restaurant. I went on the other day, it's, like, basically the color of our shirt.
Starting point is 00:26:46 It's just like, maybe even closer to gray. It's like a gray green. I'm just like, it used to be so colorful. It's not popping. pictures of a park. Look at the colors of the slides. Right. Look at the McDonald's jungle gym.
Starting point is 00:27:00 I just, when you stumble upon that we're living in a society that is slowly ripping away color, it's very sad, Josh. It's going to, we need, we got to have things that pop. We do. Individual. We do. Exciting. We need more Joey Kamastus. When I see someone with a red car, I go, you got something figured out.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I don't. Totally. Because I would never. Never. But why? What have we associated? We've associated red cars with douchebags. Is that what it is?
Starting point is 00:27:28 I don't know why. I just think it's bold, but I'll be honest. I love the color blue. Yeah. I'd have a dark blue car in a hot second if I wasn't worried about your judgment. Totally. I would have a car the color on my shirt. I love this color.
Starting point is 00:27:41 That's a sick car. Yeah. Think about that. The X-7 and Matt Olive. I think it's available. Yeah, but I'd never buy it. Manhattan Green. But I'd never buy it.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Manhattan Green. Oh, I know that. Yeah. know you're right. They also make that for the Mini Cooper. It's hot. You know Mini Cooper and BMW are the same company? I do.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I didn't know that. You know me. A big car guy. Tricks of the trade. Unbelievable. Love it. And they share colors. Why wouldn't they?
Starting point is 00:28:04 Yeah. I color in bulk. I think you're, you might be a little more, if I may see, like, maybe not. Maybe you're not more boozy than I am. Like I, because I, I'm, you're busy with cars. I'm busy with cars. Yeah. You have nice cars always.
Starting point is 00:28:17 I do, I do. But, you know, accessible nice cars. Sure. Mass produce, right? Like my wife has a. a Land Rover, which she loves. Yeah. And I drive a Tesla, like a model Y. Yeah. But I think about that sometimes of like, you know, I grew up listening to rap music.
Starting point is 00:28:33 And so, like, of course, I've always dreamed of having a Rolls Royce. But if tomorrow someone was like, let's make it happen, I can never. I don't think I could ever with that to. Ferrari? It's too much. Like any of that high-end shit? It's too much. If I had enough money that I had a house somewhere far away.
Starting point is 00:28:53 that I didn't visit often and I could park that car there and take it for a drive once a year. Yeah. If I'm there, sure. If this is sitting and being driven all the time, it's almost tacky. You know what I mean? Right. How can you drive a $330,000 car every day? And then at the same time, it's like, how could you not?
Starting point is 00:29:18 It's 330 grand. Like, I don't know who I see. there's a guy in Florida who drives his Bentley every day and he must just love it. But I think to myself, it's just not it. I don't know. It's hard.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Right. It's so hard. Who's supposed to drive them? But could you imagine being like, I like the high low of it. Like if I could, if I got nominated for an Academy Award and I pulled up in a Toyota Sienna minivan,
Starting point is 00:29:44 it's great. Right? With like the monitors on in the back. Yeah. And I'm like, and as I'm getting out, they're like, Josh, Josh, how did you do it? Like, we only thought you were good on Drake.
Starting point is 00:29:52 and Josh, and I'm like, I know, I'm doing without that. And I'm fucking, you know, I'm dusting up goldfish crackers from the seat. I'm like, sorry, guys, I'll be in a second. You know, that's, that's who I want to be. Yeah, I mean, that's, but that's like Adam Sandler in a nutshell. Like, he's so accomplished. So when you see him in basketball shorts, you're like, oh, it's cool to wear basketball shorts. It's so good.
Starting point is 00:30:13 When you're accomplished, really accomplished, you can do fucking anything and make it cool. Yeah. Except for Warren Buffett. He needs to move. This is not right. He needs a bigger house. Have you been, though? No.
Starting point is 00:30:26 I have heard, because obviously it was probably a gigantic, big, beautiful house when he bought it in the 70s in Nebraska. I have heard whilst he hasn't moved, he has quite updated it. Got it. Okay. And it's like a compound. It's fantastic. And it's also a military compound. Like, you are not getting close to that house.
Starting point is 00:30:45 So that makes me feel better. But I think he also bought the McDonald's on the corner so that he makes sure. that he can get his egg McMuffin breakfast every morning. What a power. Are you kidding me? Never even thought about that. Buying a home in proximity to your favorite fast food chain for easy access. Should we ask chat GPT?
Starting point is 00:31:08 Anything. All the things. Okay, Ben and I want to invest in a franchise fast food establishment. Which one is the best? Yeah. I think it's raising canes. Which one is the best? I'm clocking in raising canes.
Starting point is 00:31:28 For these two Jews, both big and tall. Yes. Okay. And we're thinking, we're thinking, we're tabulating, it's searching the web. I'm getting ready to pump my fist for raising canes. Raising can't can't be, really? I almost did a brand deal with raising canes. You should have.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Well, I wanted to, and then they pulled out. Oh, that's on them. But the owner was, and part of the stipulation was you had to follow the owner of Raising Keynes. Yeah. I'm fine. By the way, they are so rich. Raising canes, all of them are owned. I love it.
Starting point is 00:32:03 92% are owned by that one guy. Good for him. Was that right? You weren't. Shit. And honestly, it's even, you were even more right and didn't even know it because it's something you've talked about for us forever. Something that I've spoken about for us forever. Jersey mics?
Starting point is 00:32:21 Jersey mics. That makes sense. That makes sense. That's what they're saying. Why it fits. Massive growth trajectory feels culturally hot right now without being cringe. But ours would be called New Jersey mics because we're born-a-law. It would be called Good Guys.
Starting point is 00:32:39 It's the perfect name for a sandwich shop. Yeah. You're borrowing a little bit from five guys. They're already thinking about it. Good Guys subs. I've thought a lot about this. I've sent you the idea. We have a good sub, six inches.
Starting point is 00:32:55 A great sub. It's a foot long. Are you kidding me? You want good or great? I want great. Yeah. Give me two grates and then I'll cry and throw up. Great.
Starting point is 00:33:04 That's what makes it great. So good. Yeah, it's so fun. So hard, though. I've heard that that business is the hardest because you build one great store. You build two great stores. And then when you try and scale and the people that you're paying are making, even if you're paying really well, let's say they're making $20 an hour.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Right. They're typically unfortunately unhappy to be there. And then your sandwich just isn't the quality that it should be as you scale it that big. Right. It's so hard. So hard. Very few have been able to crack it. My friend, I think L.A. minimum wage is closer to almost $25 an hour.
Starting point is 00:33:43 My friend works for Instacart. They pay over minimum wage. Like minimum wage and then some and mileage, gas. I'm going to pick up a couple rides. By the way, that's great. In between auditions and podcasts, Josh Peck's dropping off your CBS order. Especially if you need to like take,
Starting point is 00:34:00 I was thought about that with Uber. Like if you're somebody that drives long distances anyways, why not just pick someone up? I guess you can't choose where you're going. Well, you can choose like send me in this direction. Oh, you can. Yeah. Oh, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Like when you're done at the end of the night, be like, I only want trips that are going to bring me closer to home. Interesting. Yeah. Maybe you get them. Maybe I start doing that. Well, it's at number two. restaurant, potentially the smartest pure business play, Wingstop.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Yeah. Delivery native business, lower seating requirements, late night appeal. Interesting. Of course, they've never supported the great Josh Peck. No. And I've eaten a shitload of it on camera. No, they've never supported you. But they sent me a $15 gift card one.
Starting point is 00:34:42 So, yeah. Thank you. I told you this story. I think you did. I still can't get over it though. I did an epic muckbang. Is horrible. With David Dobrick while he was at the P.
Starting point is 00:34:51 pinnacle of his powers. This video got millions of views. Wingstop calls me. They go, we are so impressed. We would love to send you a little something. I said, Wingstop, I do it for the love of the game, not for the free means. I do it for the chicken wings. They go, shut up.
Starting point is 00:35:07 We're sending you. I go, fine. Here's my address. Twist my arm. It comes. Nice stickers. Wow. It was physically mailed. It was stickers and probably a Wingstop hat and a gift card. I take the gift card. I go, this is very nice. I'm assuming it's like the Chipotle
Starting point is 00:35:26 Biancei cars at least. I'm going to have this. I'm like, this will be great. I'll save it for the Super Bowl and I'll, you know, basically fund the entire Super Bowl party with it. So I go in one day and I order like 70 bucks worth of food for me and like a couple friends. And I give the card and I go, thank you so much. Yeah, I'm a platinum. I'm a VIP. They go, that'll be 55. I was like, what? They're That's the difference. This was $15. It's so good. I have a cousin that once on my birthday wrote me a card and gave me a $5 Dunkin' Donuts gift card.
Starting point is 00:36:02 I wrote her off forever. I got that. Bye, bye, Rivka. I wrote her off forever. So I'm sorry, Wingstop, you're done. Josh, this is. It wasn't cool. That's so bad.
Starting point is 00:36:18 It would have been better had they never reached out. Done nothing. You don't have to do anything. That's right. You don't have to do anything. Yeah. We just assume you never saw it. We can just be pure fans.
Starting point is 00:36:28 But if you see it and you give a $15 gift card. Is this a gross segment for me to complain more about freebies we received? No, no, no. Get ready. Buckle up then. No, because I'm sure I have also. How often have we talked about our love for Cheesecake Factory on this show? A lot.
Starting point is 00:36:47 Yeah. And your wonderful, beautiful wife? She's also been quite public with her love. Loves them. Cheesecake Factory got my home address. Sent me a little something for the three of us. Did you ask for it? No.
Starting point is 00:37:00 They just found your home address. Like they're a PR agency or something. Something. Got it. Very nice. Is it? Well, they sent something for the three of us. Now, you're probably saying, well, where's my thing?
Starting point is 00:37:13 You know? Where's Claudia's thing? Oh, the three of us, me, you and Claudia. Me, you and Claudia. Got it. They sent it to you in California. Lovely little card. We've done a couple big skinny-licious shout-outs.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Yeah. Which, by the way, Spritz Society's skinny spritz should be on the skinny-licious menu. Obviously. Just saying. That's a make-good. It won't be now. I go, oh my God, cheese kick factory. So they go, thank you for the mentions on the pod. It's National Notebook Day.
Starting point is 00:37:43 Did you know? I go, I had no idea. They go, who knew? Who knew? Who knew? Who the fuck knew? What is this? Sponsored by Trapper Keeper?
Starting point is 00:37:53 National notebook day. Cool. It's like sponsored by the composition book lobby. The fuck? So they sent the three of us and they're cool. No books and would the cover in the back look like the cheesecake factory menu? No gift card. Just the book?
Starting point is 00:38:14 Just the notebook? Just a little spiral notebook. You're positive? that in the pages there was no. You shook it. Yes. You shook it. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:38:22 I gave it to Max. If you want, I'll send you the other two. I didn't know if you needed a notebook. No. It's so nice, but it's just a little misguided, no? It's not nice.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Let me explain, let me explain why it's not nice. It was very nice. No, it wasn't. And we're giving you even more publicity now because the menu and the restaurant is still top, top, top. The notebook may be not as great.
Starting point is 00:38:42 By the way, they're going to be happy with this. You know much more talking at a cheesecake factory? Fair enough. So they messed up with the notebook. I go. been there three times in the last three months. If me and Claudia are in a car, we're finding a cheesecake factory. I went for my 39th birthday.
Starting point is 00:38:54 Do you know how good? This is crazy. This is a Woody of your nuts for me. Yeah. You know how fucking good the fish is. Oh, I haven't a... It's a scratch kitchen bed. The salmon, it's like this Thai salmon.
Starting point is 00:39:06 No, or they give you a miso? The miso salmon? Yes, on the rice. And they give you a bunch of different sauces? Sugar snap peas. This is... This is it. Fabulous.
Starting point is 00:39:17 fabulous restaurant. That said, I'll never have the cheesecake. Cheesecake's delicious. It is, but I'll never have it. I can't tell you the last time I went to a cheesecake factory and ordered cheesecake. That's because we're broken food-wise. It's too indulgent. Yeah, it's like why we'd never order regular Coke.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Yeah, I go, never. Yeah, I'm like, what am I? By an animal? No, if I order a Diet Coke and it tastes like regular Coke, I'm asking you, you sure this is Diet Coke? I'm going to continue drinking it after you've said yes, but I'm worried. Yeah. Because if I have one regular Coke, I'm going to die. I feel like I'm going to die.
Starting point is 00:39:49 That's being broken, right? Yeah, because you can ingest 3,000 calories of some insane food. But if I have nothing of it. But if I have one singular regular Coke, I've never in my life had a regular Coke by choice. Wow, interesting. I've never had a regular soda by choice, ever. Wow. I've had one Dr. Brown's Black Cherry because I thought it was Diet Dr. Browns.
Starting point is 00:40:14 I didn't even know that they made regular Dr. Brown's black cherry. Jerry. I always thought Diet Dr. Browns was the brand. Sure. Who knew? Not me. I didn't know. I didn't know. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Diamond Crystal Salt. Folks, we've made it. We're promoting salt. You know how much I love salt? I use salt and everything. If your cooking's bad, let me tell you, let me tell you. Let me tell you salt is everything. It should be everything to you. It should be everything to you. And diamond crystal kosher salt has been used in professional kitchens and culinary schools for generations. It's the same salt chefs rely on. Now available in size is designed for everyday home cooks. It's light, flaky texture, makes it easier to control how much salt you're using. You can season gradually and evenly, which helps prevent oversalting and makes cooking feel more intuitive.
Starting point is 00:41:09 The unique hollow flakes cling better to meats, vegetables, and other foods, so seasoning stays where you want it and tastes more. more balanced from the first bite to the last. Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt contains one ingredient. Salt. That's it. No bubkis, no additives, no anti-caking agents, none of that crap. It's just the same traditional process since 1886. Diamond Crystal Kosher Salt has been made in one place, St. Clair, Michigan for 140 years.
Starting point is 00:41:39 The same incredible craft process developed in 1886 is the same process they use today. This is part of what makes diamond crystal kosher salts so unique. Folks, it's the texture. It's the ability to control. You see it, you feel it, you use it. You become one with the salt. Let me tell you, I love salt. Okay, and if you don't love salt, you're a bad cook.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Sorry. If you're looking for a better way to season and prepare everyday meals, you really need to try diamond crystal kosher salt. A chef trusted additive free salt made with light, flaky crystals for easy control, available online and nationwide at your favorite stores like Target, Kroger, Albertsons, and more. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is sponsored by Zizal. Josh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Oh, boy. Bobby, yeah, I know. It's bad over here, man. What are you got? I think it's just seasonal allergies. It's allergy season. You know, I'm walking around this big, beautiful city. I see all of these beautiful trees and bloom, the cherry blossoms.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Josh, they're everywhere. They're beautiful. But they're killing me. They're killing me. I don't like this. You know, you, your season is always a good thing for you. You are keto season. Yes, this is true.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yes, I was. But allergy season, not the best. Allergy season is not the best, Josh. And it comes out of nowhere. One minute, you're strolling around the neighborhood, walking your dog, having a nice time. The next minute, all of a sudden, you can't, your throats, Itchy, your eyes itchy.
Starting point is 00:43:15 I get itches in places. The watery eyes. How'd you know? I got to tell you something because, you know, your wife is incredible, the great Claudia, but the truth is she contacted me. And she said, I can't live like this anymore. I said, what is it? You know, fine.
Starting point is 00:43:32 Really? Wow. You too? Done? She said, never. But she said, I try to sleep at night. He's clearing his throat. He's keeping me up, Josh, we need to intervene.
Starting point is 00:43:46 I said, Claudia, I think we have just the thing for him. I can't even defend it, Josh. It's bad. I'm there. There's just this post-nasal drip. I can't get rid of it. You're telling me you have a solution? I do.
Starting point is 00:44:00 And if you just look to your left or right, what's there? What's there? I planted it there from 3,000 miles away. Oh, my God. Look, Zizal allergy 24-hour relieves allergies while you sleep. So you wake refreshed for a productive next day. God. And you know what the truth is?
Starting point is 00:44:22 When you're getting allergy relief from Zizal, it does start to work in as little as 45 minutes for powerful 24-hour relief. 24 hours. That's a long time. 24 hours is essential, Josh. You take it right before you go to bed. 45 minutes later. no more less throat clearing okay less throat clearing so my wife doesn't have to be bugs by me less watery eyes less itching less all of these bad things that seasonal allergies come from and you wake up the next day
Starting point is 00:44:53 josh you know me i'm running and gunning you're running and gunning we don't have time to think about taking our allergy meds in the morning no we take them at night they last 24 hours and then the next night Josh you do it again it's called being in a routine and we're in a routine with zizol allergy 24 hour relief because at night is when I take my things I take my magnesium yes I take my zizal I take my antipsychotic cut cut that last part out but but at night is when you do your things you know in the morning you're running you're gunning you got to go give me my coffee make max's lunch. Let's go. Let's go. But you're going to forget. At night is better. At night is better, Josh. Look, here's the truth. You know us good guys, right? And we don't work with anyone. We have
Starting point is 00:45:45 been complaining about allergies for an infinity. Yes. Right? Maybe at infinitum. Yes. Okay. But with Zizel, you're just going to have less interruptions, less running nose, less clearing of your throat, less watery eyes. Tell pollen to take a rest. Who is this big Allen out here doing, oh, is this, you know, necessary for the blooming of the seasons? I'm not a scientist. What I am is a guy who wants less interruption from these things. So Zaisal is designed to be taken at night, so it's already working in the morning when pollen levels are highest.
Starting point is 00:46:25 Look, the truth is, is over the spring and summer, when allergies are really going to get you, whether you're taking a walk with your family, you're at an event outdoors, you're, want to have a little bit of relief from constantly thinking about your allergy symptoms, which is why B.YZol take Zizol at night. Should we get to one moron mail? Yeah, it's do a more on mail. Yeah. Guys, the moron mails have been fantastic. Good Guys Podcast 1 at gmail.com. Continue to email us and we will continue to think about reading yours aloud even though most of them are absolute dreck. I'm so ready. Okay. More on mail. Gen Z. more on here, in need of some relationship advice. My fiancé is a super handy blue collar worker.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Shout out. So for holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, he usually hand-makes me gifts. I absolutely love them. He's made me jewelry, furniture, cutting boards, etc. But there's one thing. They are never ready on time for the actual holiday or event. So he'll usually get me flowers or a small gift and tell me I'm also making you something, but it's not ready yet. And then I'll get it a few weeks later. Like, yes, I know handmade things take time. Yes, I know he's busy. Yes, I know this is objectively a very sweet problem to have. But also, am I a brat for kind of wanting my gift on the actual event?
Starting point is 00:47:43 Sincerely, a maybe bratty fiancé. I have a lot of thoughts. Yeah, thought it up. If you're going to make something handmade, lovely, right? Totally. It's got to be on time. Sure. It's more important that you got something on time than it is even what you
Starting point is 00:48:04 got. If you're late, it means that you didn't think about them with enough time to get it done. It means that you were rushed. It means that you were last minute. And you can't give a birthday gift late. I don't care if you made her a hand woven sweater, which, by the way, gay. I don't care. Yeah. No. Like, go buy something. At what point does it become like cheap I don't think Or is it always nice I think it's always nice
Starting point is 00:48:39 if you're good at it In perpetuity It's always nice To only make and give handmade things I think it depends on how I think of A variety is a spice of life
Starting point is 00:48:52 Variety would be wonderful A bit of variance would be good If he's really good And he's amazing at woodworking And he's like babe You're getting a cutting board But it's going to be in six to nine months because I got to seal it,
Starting point is 00:49:05 then you got to get your shit together. You got to start earlier. Yeah, I think so. Start earlier. That's it. I would love, if he's making cutting boards, I'd love a cutting board. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:49:16 I'm so jealous of those people. You walk into their house and their island is just a butcher's block. You ever see those? Where they can just cut right there. That said, must be so smelly. How do you clean that? The amount of salmonella in that?
Starting point is 00:49:29 You can't clean that. No, boy. Right? No, it doesn't work. I don't think that works. The signs of wealth growing up to me were always you have an island. An island. You have ice in the fridge.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Yeah. Like not in like a tray. Yeah. An ice machine. Yeah, an ice machine in the fridge. Correct. And you have the instant hot water feature on your fossil. I mean, that's your multi-millionaire.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Yeah. You work for NASA. No, that was it. Yeah. That was it. Also, I mean, if you had a refrigerator that somehow blended into your cabinetry. Oh, my. God, it's unreal.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Unbelievable. It's panelled. Yeah. Oh, I just love that word. It's going to be panelled. Me too. It's fantastic. It's great.
Starting point is 00:50:11 A back splash. It's great. You have a back splash. I love it. I just have splash of Heinz. Yeah. On the back splash. Should we get to William Nuts?
Starting point is 00:50:21 You've cutlery that wasn't gifted to you by your great, great grandmother during the war? Yeah. Rich. My cutlery all has a little rust. Yeah. Yeah. It gets a rust like little circles. Yeah, I don't think they make them the same anymore.
Starting point is 00:50:37 That's why. My parents, seriously, they have 100-year-old cutlery. All of it is stainless steel from my great-great-grandmother or something. From where in Hungary? I don't know, literally. I think they literally, this is like their precious jewels is this old cutlery. And it looks better than my new stuff. Sounds like we're from Hungary.
Starting point is 00:50:56 I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Starving. That's right. That'd be our first. country. Hungary. Hungary.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Israel. Yeah. Hungary is real. Hungary is real. Who would be the prime minister? Who of Hungary is real? Kelly Clarkson. Or the Rizzler?
Starting point is 00:51:16 Hungry. The king and queen. That's so good. Imagine that in 10 years, Kelly Clarkson marries the Rizzler. Because she's recently divorced, right? Yeah. And he, in 18. to nine years.
Starting point is 00:51:33 And sometimes... And sometimes women in their 40s do get, like, you know, a little bit of, like, Stella got her groove back. Like, they want, like, a young, hot thing. They want a hot, young, 20-year-old Riz. And that's Riz. That's the Rizzler. What a guy. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Wow. I just... I hope for a young Rizzler that when he's at, you know, whatever college, he attends Harvard, Baruch. He seems like I'll probably go to... Wesley and yeah FIU Sarah Lawrence
Starting point is 00:52:06 I hope that he's out walking the halls of his school and everyone's calling him Rizzler and he doesn't hate it I hope he loves it I hope he loves it too because that's the fine line that you're dealing with
Starting point is 00:52:19 with any kid actor is like you just you don't know if it's the thing that will follow them forever and if they'll still want it when they're a big grown
Starting point is 00:52:32 an adult. Yeah, it's hard. It's a really hard balance. Do you want it? Me? You. I mean, yeah, it's been a part of my life forever. I've talked about this so many times before. I feel so lucky that I don't have a nickname. Yeah, of course. Our names were our names. Thank God. Oh my God. What a nightmare. Except the other day like this. Because then it really would feel like you can't ever escape it. Yeah. If somebody was just calling you Dan. Oh yeah, or screech. Fuck. That's terrible. You can't get away from it.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Screech. Dude, I think they put him in an early grave. Dustin Diamond, R-A-P. Screech. Poor Dustin Diamond, except... Horrible name. Wait, Screech is dead. He sadly passed.
Starting point is 00:53:17 Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, Dustin Diamond. Dustin Diamond had a... It's terrible. Do you know anything about Dustin Diamond? Nothing other than Screech.
Starting point is 00:53:25 We could talk about him on the pod since, sadly, he's not here anymore, but I believe he had an adult film career for a second. Really? So there was a bit of that. And then I think he stabbed someone at a bar. Wow. Because someone tried to stab him. And then he died of cancer.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Oh, my God. Let's see. I want to make sure I'm speaking correctly. That's terrible. I'm so sorry, Screech. Rest in peace, Screech. I guess that's the title of the episode. Oh.
Starting point is 00:53:51 I just found out Screech died. That's so me. Where you made, Ben? Who knows where I've been? Let's see what... I said, Dustin Diamond, did he do porn and stab? Dustin, best known for playing screech on Save by the Bell in 2006,
Starting point is 00:54:10 a sex tape titled, Screeched. Saved by the smell. Oh! Was released. Diamond later claimed that parts of it used to body double and that he was trying to make money and stay relevant during a rough career period, been there. Stabbed incident.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Screech. Saved by the smell is honestly iconic. It's kind of it. That's iconic. Stabbing incident. Yes, in 2014, Diamond was involved in an altercation at a bar in Wisconsin where a man was stabbed during a fight.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Diamond admitted he had a knife and claimed he was defending himself and his fiancee during a chaotic confrontation. Whoa. You know. Rest and peace, scroach. We look at people come off of sitcoms, and we think they're like, you know, oh my God, Lisa Kood.
Starting point is 00:55:00 You know, Matt LeBlanc, Julia Louise Dreyfus. We forget about the screeches. We forget about the screeches. And the Michael Richards. We also forget that these people are still people. Just because everything seems rosy from the outside doesn't mean they're not battling something from the inside. And anybody that ever wants to trade places with someone, the grass is always greener. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:55:25 There might not even be grass. There might be nothing. It might be rubble. It's a dirt patch. Yeah. Rubble. Bad. Did you hear the joke on the Kevin Hartrose where...
Starting point is 00:55:34 Oh, by the way, I went back and watched like a little... It was funny. There's some funny stuff. There's some funny stuff. I think Tony Hinchcliff said to Pete Davidson, he goes... He's insane. But I appreciate how far he'll push. He's nuts.
Starting point is 00:55:48 He looks like he's been eating butter because his teeth are crazy. They're crazy teeth. But it's funny. I think he said something to beat Davidson to the effect of like, you were horrible on SNL. No one can't. a single sketch you've done, your father is rolling around in this rubble right now. I was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Yeah, he goes really, really, really hard. Really hard. Too hard sometimes. Too hard. He crosses that one. It's too much. It's too much. But it does at least protect comedy a little.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Because then you can point to that guy and say that's too much and all of a sudden the line's being moved. Right. You know? Right. That's too much. but if we joke and say something, we're not getting canceled for it.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Yeah. Because he's moved to the line. Sure. Which I appreciate. But what are you nuts? What are you nuts? Our what are you nuts moment of the week is our gripes with people, places, and things,
Starting point is 00:56:41 both big and tall, whatever's sticking in your craw. For me, sometimes it's old, Josh. I was driving my car. And I noticed an 80-year-old man on a city bike, at least 80. And if you can ride a bike, power to you. This man can't ride a bike. Sure. He's swerving, going back and forth.
Starting point is 00:56:58 forth. He, he, he, I'm, he's dead. He's definitely dead. I saw him this morning and he's dead this afternoon. It's so. There's no question. I think that city bike, and I'm sure that you guys have a version of city bike in Los Angeles, these rentable bikes, give a little bit too much confidence to those that actually shouldn't be riding bikes. They shouldn't be riding bikes in a park, let alone on the city's streets of New York. Just because you can rent it doesn't mean you should, Josh. If you can't, if you're not passionate enough about bike riding to want to own one, I really don't think you should be able to ride it on the streets in New York City. I don't know how many accidents they occur, but I look to this 80-year-old man, I'm like, oh my God, I'm paying attention to him. But if I
Starting point is 00:57:44 wasn't, God forbid I was texting, he's dead. Right. Because he's swerving, you're in a bike lane, and he's in my lane. And then he's back in the bike lane. He does not know how to ride a bike. Or he doesn't have the ability anymore. Oritude. Yeah. Whatdy a Nuts? Nuts. City bike shouldn't be renting to people who can't ride bikes.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Totally agree. My Woody of Nuts is on my plane here last night from L.A.X to Newark, New Jersey. I ran into a guy who I know sort of lightly, but we haven't met in person, but we follow each other on social media. He goes, hey, man, great to see. I go, great to see you. He said, where are you headed, New York? I go. Yeah, we're on the same plane, guy.
Starting point is 00:58:26 What are you nuts? No, Germany. I guess you could have to layover, but where are you going? He assumed that you were going to Morocco? Yeah. Like you're flying in New York to then have the one-stop to Marrakesh. That's funny. Where was he going?
Starting point is 00:58:42 New York? Yeah. We're going to the same place, same... That's hilarious. I'm not connecting. Now, sometimes people just don't know what to say, so they just say things. I do all the time. Me too.
Starting point is 00:58:52 Yeah. Me too. Take us home. I was going to say, you know what else? I say, Josh, that this episode's five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Honestly, my what are you nuts is anybody that leaves a two-star review for anything. It's not us.
Starting point is 00:59:03 I'm just saying in general, I'll go on Target's website. I'll look at Spritz Society. Somebody left two stars. Just send me a DM. See, you hate me and Jews. You don't have to leave it on the Target website. So true. What are you nuts?
Starting point is 00:59:14 Listen to us wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on Spotify, okay? Spotify. Yeah. This is sick, Josh. Spotify video. You'll love it. Watch it.
Starting point is 00:59:22 Listen to it. watch it, listen to it also on Josh's YouTube. Mondays and Thursdays, folks, we will see you next time. Are you one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, scrolling spreadsheets? Yes? Good. This is for you. Because on Spotify, there's an audience that's different. Locked in, loyal, invested. They're called fans.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Fans don't just listen to music. They feel seen by it like it belongs to them. So when your brand shows up on Spotify, that's who you're talking to. And you're right next to artists like me. Lizzo. So, are you ready to talk to fans? Spotify Advertising. You're among fans.

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