Good Guys - Thicc Boy Thursday

Episode Date: January 4, 2024

Were you in Virginia Beach recently? Orlando? Apparently most people were for New Years Eve!! Happy New Year.... and happy Thursday babe! The Good Guys reign in the first Thursday episode of Good Guys with a hilarious, gorgeous episode. Ben visits Yard House, Josh thinks resolutions have false pressure, the guys role play a waiter scenario, and they answer your speakpipes! What more could ya ask for? And what are ya nuts?! Leave us a voicemail here! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck and I'm Ben Sauffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Hello, from having to be forgot. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Good guys.

That was fake. Fucking sweet. God bless you. God bless you. Happy New Year, folks. What a year it's going to be. And what a year it was. All years are great years.

And we just so excited to have you. Two episodes. Excuse me. This is episode two of the week. We're just such hard workers. And all I got to say is sponsors, pony up. We need more money. Double the guides.

Double the deals. Double the ads. This is our first Thursday episode ever. And you know what? Everyone, our producer, Marshall, he's going through the coal mines for you. He is. But yes, happy New Year. What a year it was.

Oh, what a year. We started the podcast last year, right? Or did we start the podcast the year before? The year before, but we really got serious about it because we, when we came over to Dear Media, Marshall joined us. We really, we started getting real in 2023. and what a great year it's been. Excellent year.

The only downside is that we had to put my dog to sleep. But besides that, it was an unbelievable year. A plus, I'm just saying the podcast, the listeners, you morons, we love you. We didn't say it at the end of the year. So we're saying it this year. Wishing you just the best year ever, like an unbelievable year. Like achieve all of your dreams. Have unbelievable sex.

You should have great sex. Yes. People should have great sex. Okay. Ooh. What constitutes great sex for you? Ben. When someone's there.

Ooh. Yes. The act in and of itself. The act with someone. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Yeah. So start having sex with people. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody has in this year. And I hope you make a lot of money. If that's what you want. And if you don't want to make any money, then when you make it, just send it to us. Venmo.

Venmo. And yeah. That's it. That's it. And good food. Eat good food. Congrats. Welcome to a beautiful 2024. To be honest, the new year, it's completely arbitrary and it means nothing. It's just what we decide in our heads mean something. The calendar is based on a lunar cycle and something that the Greeks came up with thousands of years ago. And you know what else the Greeks did? They hooked up with their 16-year-old boy peasants. So the reality is, what are we going to listen to the Greeks? More importantly, I think it's worth mentioning. But they make a great hero.

They make a great diner. They invented democracy and they're great people. Shout out my favorite Greek comedian, Janus Poppus. But yeah, I would say, you know, my sponsor in AA, I think has the best answer to what his New Year's resolution is. Or I'm sorry, not his resolution, but what he wants for the new year. And he always answers more of the same. More of the same. You got to be pretty fucking.

you got to be crushing it to want more of the same, you know? Totally. I want to, it's like scrabble. I want to hand back in six of the little pieces and get back six more. I'll keep one. More of some. More of some. Right?

Can we agree on that? More of some. More of the same is a lot. Ben's like, I'll get seven cues. I can give a fuck. Let's roll the dice. So true. Wow.

That's crazy. More of the same. That's nice, though. Let's be honest. What are you, is there anything you're hoping or thinking about in 2024? Honestly, it's going to be a terrible, like this isn't like a, it's a classic answer. Health, health is very important. The end of 2023, again, we lost our beautiful pup Theo to a battle with cancer.

And it just made me acutely aware, like my dad had tons of back surgery late in 23. Like, I just want my family healthy. If everybody's healthy, I'm rich. And I mean that. Like people like to joke like health is wealth. How is that going to pay for your yacht? Well, I'd like to have people to go on my yacht with. Okay?

So health is wealth. And all that I want in this year is for people to be healthy. Josh, what about you? I don't make any resolutions. I don't like any false pressures to be put on ourselves. And I think that life is an accumulation of a bunch of micro transactions and small deeds. And how you do one thing is how you do everything. So when you're cheating those reps at the gym,

when you're fraudulently forging your grandmother's signature so you can take out money out of her IRA before she died, you know who you are, Rick. You know who you are, Marshall. These things, they pile up. A lot of people go, ah, so who cares. You know, I don't recycle. I don't do this.

But you know what? It's the little things that make a great life. So I would say, I hope to focus on the little things. No, you said, I hope to focus on the little things to be. You said two things there that I just can't stand for. Recycling? Recycling? No, no, I won't.

I won't do it unless you show me the impact that I'm making. I'm telling you. I guess recycling isn't the word. What I mean is I, and I try to do this to my son, but I don't really want to expose him to random germs. We'll walk around our neighborhood, really anywhere, but especially our neighborhood, parks we go to, whatever. And when there's garbage, I always make a effort to pick it up if I see it on the street, hoping there's paparazzi there.

So, no, I'm kidding. And I say to my son, I go, this is our neighborhood. Like, we're a part of it. And yeah, the city has street cleaners. And yeah, probably this will get picked up eventually. But like, we are part of the ecosystem of our neighborhood. And so, like, if we don't do it, then who? And I don't know if it sits with them.

You're just the best. You're the best. My God. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I see trash on the floor. I'm like, that's somebody else's problem. Not me.

Can't be bothered. But that's New York. New York is just filthy. You also brought up cheating at the gym. As somebody that at one point cheated at the gym, who now is a gym rat, I'm a freaking 2024. I'm getting muscles on muscles. Tell me about it.

Tell us more, Ben. I will, but quickly, don't cheat at the gym. Don't go. Who are you cheating at the gym? It's at four. Who's it for? Well, there's no point. You're just wasting time. Either do it or don't do it. You're better off not doing it. Because it's true. If you cheat at the gym, you cheat yourself. But yeah, I'm a gym around these days twice a week with a trainer, getting just loaded up. My deadlifting, we haven't spoken about this at all. My deadlifting, my deadlifting is up to 240. Wow. Yes. And he says, again, this is, it's only been two and a half months. He thinks that because of my frame, I can put. in the threes. So I'm trying to become a freaking monster. I'm going to, you're going to look at me, you say, that's not Ben. That's, that's Biggertha. That's, that's Biggie B. He's here to, to save the day. I'm, I'm getting muscles on muscles. I love Biggie B. Tell me more.

Are we supplementing? Are we taking creatine? Way protein? What are we doing? No, not yet. We're just taking AG1. I'm absolutely addicted to it. And I think that it literally is giving me enough energy throughout the day that's separate from coffee that allows me to work out. I think being naturally lighter from the jab of OZempic is really just, it's helping me. Absolutely. People love to say, hey, fatty, go in the gym. Well, it's a lot easier to go in the gym when you're less fat. So I would actually recommend that if you are a larger person, that you try to lose 40 pounds

simply by eating right first and then try going to the gym because if you go to the gym at your heaviest, the gym's a lot harder. So lost some weight, when's the gym? found a trainer. Protein is key. Loving protein. If you don't, you got to keep that protein up.

But no, nothing artificial yet. I'm excited for the days, though, when I can start getting into the supplements. The tea. Yeah. The creatine.

The test. The real juicing stuff. That I'm excited for. But you've been slamming it in Equinox. I do. I love a good Equinox membership. It's beautiful. Shout out Equinox.

So beautiful. I do love it. And I, yeah, I'm big. I actually kind of think the reverse that if you are in need of getting in shape, if you have extra weight on you, I always say, and this is for me, controlling my eating feels daunting because I, like many other people, there's an emotional component to eating also because I'm sober. I don't really have a lot of other things. So pie is very important to me.

That being said, if you start working out and go, I'm not going to even worry about it. But what I can do is work out a little bit. You're going to start getting sore. You're going to start getting those good feeling endorphins. And I'm talking, babe, do whatever you can do. Do the Richard Simmons dance into the oldies from your chair, from your lazy boy that your body has now conjoined with because you're so gigantic. Whatever.

But like, just do that. Or take the two liters of Pepsi's that you would normally drink and do an overhead press. You know? Or like a gigantic Subway sandwich, like a party stop. And then move, you know, a cleaning jerk. And then you pull it down and you take a bite. Go and bench press the 50 pizza pies you ordered, you fat fuck.

Yes. And would you've done that, fatty? I'm telling you, I think it happens in reverse that the workout makes you want to then eat healthier because you're like, I'm working so hard. Josh's solution to weight loss, order a box of crispy creams, use them to do push-ups,

and then eat them. I'm telling you. Do you want to know a couple fun facts about the new year? I would absolutely love to. Side note, me and you should make a workout tutorial video like Richard Simmons and sell it for stone cold cash. Richard Simmons is a real idle mentor of mine. He is, you have to listen to a podcast called Finding Richard Simmons.

I think that's what it was called. It's genius. And it's all about his life. And then the fact that kind of like in his 60s, He literally disappeared because he just couldn't. He had spent his whole, he gave up his whole life to people, to the industry, to entertainment to the world. And he didn't have it within himself to say goodbye.

So when he was finally burned out and done, he literally disappeared. No one's heard from him. It's unbelievable. But he, yeah, I mean, I'm all about that dancing to the oldies, working out, inspiring people, keeping it moving. I agree. Let's do it, babe. I'm in. So, okay, fact number one.

Usually, the most popular destination in the U.S. for New Year's is Orlando. But this year, Wallet Hub called Virginia Beach, Virginia, the best city for celebrations. First of all, Orlando. I'm not buying that. No, but I'm not, Orlando's because of Disney World. Nobody's going to fucking Virginia Beach. These people are lying. I just think it's crazy.

Like, I was not expecting Orlando, but is it because of Disney? It must be. Definitely, Disney. It's definitely not because of the crackheads. It's not like, people love Cracker Barrel. Are there a lot of Cracker Barrel's into Orlando? Yeah, man, I got a Cracker Barrel coffee mug from there. It's been my main coffee mug for the last eight years.

It's great. I once went to an Applebee's in Orlando and actually contemplated suicide the second I left. Why? Like, like I walked out just smelling like the, the gorgeous apps. It was like half off apps. I ate so much. I absolutely wanted to die and just throw myself in front of a truck.

It's funny. I recently went to Cheesecake Factory with my buddy, Jordan Oaken, who has the Air Jordan Food Podcast in Los Angeles. And I'd been talking about the factory so much because Jordan and his friends are foodies. They go to the best, dopest best food restaurants. And I'm like, you know, you're all a bunch of pretentious,

know it all. Sit down at the factory and have a nice time. This is America. This is eating, you know, where the salads have 2,000 calories minimum. And he's like, okay, well, let's go and we'll order up. And we invited my other buddy, Max Shapiro, who's the ultimate foodie. And we'll eat it up. And then we'll talk about it on the pod.

So we ordered. We had the buffalo blasts, the pretzel bites, the egg roll sampler. We had the chicken bellagio, the chicken Madeira, the glam bacon burger. We had the bang bang Thai inspired shrimp and chicken. Then, dessert, you ready? I'm ready. Classic strawberry cheesecake. This might be my best bite of the week.

And this is my best bite of the week. Tell me. I went to Yard House yesterday. Huh. And let me tell you. That is a chain worth chaining. It's not like the cheesecake factory, which, until they start paying us, I'm going to be honest, it's just not what you remember.

You go there and it's kind of like Disney World. Disney World, they have such fond memories. And then you go there and you're like, what is this creep doing in this Mickey Mouse costume? I want no part of it. Until you go to Epcot and then, of course, it's fantastic. But everything other than Epcot, I don't want it. Cheesecake Factory, not what you remember. Yard House is what you remember.

Yard House is just delicious. You sit down at Yard House. My best bite of the week, the pokey nacho. Whoa. layered nachos, tuna, spicy tuna, spicy tuna, spicy mayo, some eel sauce, some avocado fish, fresh, fresh, unbelievably fresh, gorgeous. Only for one minute I think it was going to get mercury poisoning, and that is an absolute bonus. Yeah.

It's a bonus. It means I've been enjoying, you know? So absolutely delicious, this pokey nacho, but let me tell you the best part about Yard House. You sit down at Yard House, and they have a little screen, and you can order Appetachian, on the screen before you ever even get a server's attention. How often have you sat down 30 minutes? Where's the server? I'd love to put something in.

They completely solved that problem. You sit down, I put in my pokey nacho. Claudia put in her chicken taco, two Diet Coke, fries. It was there in five minutes. We only wanted apps because we're so skinny. We only wanted apps. I never even spoke to a waiter. It's because apps are also the best.

And they're the best thing on the menu. And I would argue that if you're going for a classic four top dining experience with three other friends, that five apps should be ordered and shared, a bunch of sodas, bunch of margaritas, Miami vices, pinocaladas, whatever you're into. Why? So I can have the chicken? So I can have the steak at yardhouse? That's pretty nuts?

Nuts. I couldn't agree more. For most places, it's ass. Now, unless, of course, we're going somewhere special. Right. And if we're going somewhere special, that maybe has a nice lemon Dover's Soul. That's what I need.

That's what I need. But Yard House, I'll skip the Dover's Soul. The tuna poca nachas, unbelievable. That was my best bite of the week. Insane. And the technology. I can't get over the tech. I can't get over the tech.

If you're a waiter, I think if this is what I would do, I would walk up and I'd be like, hi, I'm Josh. I'm your waiter. Here, let's play it out. Let's do a, let's roll play. Roll play. Roll play. All right, I'll get naked. Yes, please. You're getting my hints. Okay.

Hi, welcome to Yard House from Josh, your waiter. Can I start you with any drinks? Sure. I'd love a Diet Coke with lemon, please. That's how I would have it. Oh, by the way, if it were me, I'd get the spinach artichoke tip right now. You got your eye on any appetizers? You want me to put the drinks in first. Ooh, you know, I'll take the spinach artichoke dip.

That sounds really great. Also, give me a French onion soup, please. Oh, I love that. Now, do you want a little salsa and sour sauce? on the side to kind of cut through the spinach artichoke kind of thickness. You know, if you recommend it, I'll take it. I wasn't thinking about it, but I'm open to it. You seem like a very friendly gentleman. Let me tell you what.

I'm going to bring these drinks over, right? And the moment that crisp hit of DC hit your lips, you're going to look down and a hot spinach artichoke tip is going to be right in front of you. God bless. That sounds absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much for just being such a fantastic waiter. I'll tell you what. When I lay down that appetizer, I'm going to ask for your entree order.

so that I don't have to come back here again unless I got food in my hands. Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. I can't wait for that pace, that fantastic ordering, and I'll be ready to put in my chicken piccata. That would be a fun restaurant

if you didn't order, but like the waiters weren't allowed to come back to your table without food in their hands. And so they're like, listen, I know you didn't order it, but I found a, like, there's some fries in the kitchen. Like, joy. I found this duck breast on the floor.

Yeah, just something that you weren't expecting. That was pretty good improv. I'm just saying. Yeah, you really, you listened and you're natural. Did you ever do any plays or anything as a kid in school? No, no, nothing. Nothing, absolutely nothing. Total jock.

I should have. Class of jock. I should have. Just classic fatty. Just fat. I was fat. I was in all the plays. Yeah.

Well, then I don't know what else my excuses. Can we talk about our What Are You Nuts moment? Because it, I text. you about this earlier. It's it's on my mind. I got to do it. Come. Fire away. Our boy Kanye. Our good friend Kanye. Oh, God. Kanye West, and mind you, this episode's coming out, you know, three weeks after it happened. We're pre-recording for the new year because no one's working at Dear Media for the next week. Kanye West goes on 10-minute blistering rant about Jesus, Hitler, Trump, and his own daughter. Basically, Kanye is.

up to his old anti-Semitic hijinks. During his outburst, he shouted Jesus Christ. Hitler. Yay, sponsor that. He also made anti-Semitic claims. It's Zionists. Jews own all the banks, hospitals, private schools, and Los Angeles. It's 60 million of us in America.

60 million Jews in the world. He falsely told the crowd, later stating, I don't give an F. First of all, again, right? It's not for us to get into geopolitical issues on this podcast. absolutely not. But when it comes to anti-Semitism, I feel the need to talk about these things. It's terrible. I might as well just take another what are you nuts just because, I mean, might as well take another anti-Semitic whatia-nuts because it's nuts. Kanye is nuts. He's absolutely nuts. And just in case, because I know that we have a lot of non-Jewish listeners here, there aren't

60 million Jews. There are 16 million, I believe. And we don't, we, we don't control the banks or the media or any of those things, just in case I needed to make that clear. Kanye, what are you nuts? We didn't talk about this, and we should, because I know that at one point you worked with Amanda Binds. Did you see Amanda Binds as TikTok recently? I did. I did.

Okay, so I'm sorry, Amanda. When people commented on maybe a change in your appearance, they certainly were not talking about your light eye surgery. What are you nuts? They're talking about the fact that you have a bull nose ring and you have purple eyebrows. Like that, and again, that's totally. up to you. I, I, like, Amanda, whatever's going on. It's, again, it's not, it's not up to me to say anything about anybody's appearance, but she specifically came out and said, you know, I've been

getting a lot of pressure to talk about the change in my appearance. And yes, I have had light eye surgery. What are you nuts? That's, first of all, I didn't know that, that that was a surgery, but added to my list. That's my resolution. More surgeries in 2024, because this lower eyelid laser I had done. Hey, has it worked wonders. It's fantastic. Thank you.

I'm so glad I did it. I'm telling you, the fact that I haven't gotten Gano Camastia surgery yet, hint, hint, anyone listening, half price, come on.

We have a big New York in L.A. and Miami audience, you know, the homes of plastic surgery. Can you imagine if I did Instagram collab? Getting my, getting my,

Aberoni nips minimized. Oh, that'd be bad. I need some nip surgery too. Ben, is that what that surgery is? Gynacomastia surgery? Yeah. Yeah. That's for the nips? I don't know. Hold on. I'll tell you one second. It's a very big term for you to use loosely that you don't know. What if it's like it's anal removal? It's not just, I'll tell, oh no, what it? I put in gyno comestia. Good luck. Good luck spelling it, too. Yeah, I put in gynochomasty and gynecologist came up. Okay. Gondicomastia surgery. Okay. Here we go.

Okay. First of all, it's all like, is it painful? Is it this? Is it that? What is it? It's male breast reduction surgery. Ah. Okay.

Okay. Understood. Yeah. Conochemasty surgery or male breast reduction surgery is a procedure that aims to correct enlarged male breasts. God, am I glad I'm married? Yeah. Could you imagine?

Beautiful breasts. On my hinge profile, it said like, dealing with a moderate to aggressive case of gynochamastia, but I make over six figures a year and I support my mother. Open for all dates. And open to being milked. Open to being milked. Open to being milked. Yeah, Marshall goes title.

Yeah, open to being milked. I am. I am. Open to being milked. Quickly what I'll say about Amanda, because I do know her, is I just love her. She's just the greatest, and clearly she's going through some challenging times and has been for a while. But I've seen her and hung out with her over the last couple of years, and she's like just still the best. And as we've talked about, one of the great talents of our generation.

And so if she wants to get back into acting, honoring that part of her, I would just, I would love it as a fan, but I just want her to be happy and okay, because she's really, She's really good people. I'm just saying she is a podcast. Maybe we do a podcast swap. Oh, that would be incredible. She is a brand new podcast. It just came out. Amanda,

we would absolutely love to come on your podcast, promote it. You come on our podcast. Talk about anything you want. What's her podcast call? Call me, maybe. Let me look. Let me look.

Let me look. Call me Amanda. No, it's, what is it called? Paul Siminski, the podcast. That's amazing. How literal. This is Amanda Binds' podcast.

Yeah, it's called. What's it called? Oh, did Marshall already say it? I couldn't hear. Yeah, it's basically called the Amanda and Paul podcast. Oh, okay, great. All right, yeah. So I'd love to go on the Amanda and Paul podcast.

And Amanda, you can come on good guys and, yeah, you know. I love it. I think that's, I'm happy that she's great. Honestly, like, she's just such an icon. like so so much unbelievable work. I will say my absolute favorite. What's your, I want to know your favorite Amanda Binds movie,

but I will say first, she's the man. It's, yeah. I mean, what are we talking about here? So good. It's so good. I mean, it's an unbelievable turn. The fact that she's playing,

like, it's, I think it's based on, like, it's based on other movies, but I think it's based on Shakespeare. I think that that type of movie has been made so many times, none better than her.

God, she was good. God, she was good. And Channing Tatum? I can't believe that nobody accused her male character, though, of having gynaeclomastia. I know, that's a good point. Well, the original woman dressing like a man was Jewish queen herself, Barbara Streisand as Yentel. And lest we forget, this is a seminal film. I'm sure our audience has not seen it because they're all like, you know, 19, but It's a very, very special picture. So good, so good. So we're in the new year.

And I think we would be remissed if we didn't want to. Oh, oh, I want to get to speak pipes, but I want to run this by you. So in my book, happy people are annoying, poorly titled. I talk about completely shanking my relationship with the great comedic producer, Judd Apatow. Now, to catch you all up, I talk. talk about how I was newly done with doing Drake and Josh. I was sewing my wild oats being a total cliche. I happen to book this Owen Wilson movie that Judd was producing that Seth

Rogan and my friend Christopher Brown wrote called Trobit Taylor, Danny McBride, Leslie Man, sickass, sick. The director, not so nice, but everyone else, incredible. And I basically just Judd was like, look, there's not a part for you, but you're funny. so I want you to come on and just like hang out and like kind of do the Apatow crew thing like be funny pitch jokes and if we can find a place for you in different scenes we will and I didn't show up for him and I kind of you know not that he loves a funny Jew or anything but I perhaps ruined my shot so by just being laid and not accountable and total cliche not a monster just

kind of a bummer so I had seen him in years past and made a proper amends but I kind of I talked about it on a podcast and in my book. And I got a lovely text message from him, being the mensch that he is, where he basically was like, I, you know, I heard you on a pod and I just want to say like, it's all good. And, you know, I'm proud of you for your journey and what you've been through. And I just thought it was, I mean, he's always been the best. And this was really the icing on the king. So a couple months, about a year goes by, maybe less.

And recently I said to my wife, I was like, you know, You know, I think we'd ask Judd to lunch. Maybe we'd go get a little lunch. Maybe I break bread with Judd. My wife goes, oh, I wouldn't do that. This is a woman who really believes in me. You should stop asking your wife what you should do. Here's what I have learned.

Here's what I've learned. If you want an opinion, ask for it. If you don't want an opinion, don't ask for it. Too many people ask for opinions on things that they don't want opinions on. You, like, want some validation where your wife's going to agree with you, but you wanted to ask him to lunch.

Ask him to lunch. I'm always going to tell you to do what you want to do. I'm never going to tell you what I think you should do because that's not my place. It's your place. And I personally think that we are just a wonderful manifesting, manifestation duo, and we're going to be freaking kings and billionaires

and you're going to be in Judd Apatow movies because you're going to go to Judd and be like, hey, Judd, I'd love to suck on your nipples and let's have lunch. I should send him a voice note. I'm going to send it right now. Judd. Don't send him a voice note.

I bet you're giving people jobs. I bet you're giving people jobs. We can chew it up. We can go to Nate Niles or Cantor's Deli. I bet you'd like lunch with me. You love giving people jobs listening to your voice notes. Unbelievable. Don't you dare send him a voice note.

Am I giving someone a job when I send a voice note? Yes, you are. You are. I now need to listen to it for a minute and a half, not knowing where it's going. At least a text like a breeze through if it's long. Yes, you're 100% giving somebody a job. Don't send him a voice note.

Send him a text. And I think that the fact that you are going into it with such great intentions, he will smell that on you. He'll know that you're not fishing for anything. And in return, he'll give you something. You are a Svengali, my friend. You are a trick deck. I don't like that at all.

I was not expecting that to go where it went. Here's the worst part. it allow me to do a disclaimer now because my mother, Barbara Peck, God lover, listen to every episode. Mom, don't ask me if I reached out to Judd Apatow. You and Claudia are the same. It's unbelievable. Just believe in yourselves and take these opportunities.

Take these opportunities. Believe in yourself. Ask Judd, you know Judd? You know, like people want to know Judd? I want to know Judd. You know Judd. To be friends to be friends. I don't know him.

And if something happens, you know him well enough that he texted you. I don't know him. I literally, I disappointed him. How did you get your number? I disappointed him 15 years ago. And he wrote me a nice text 15 years later. You didn't disappoint him. Honestly,

you're probably giving too much credit to yourself that you disappoint him. He doesn't care. He doesn't care at all. He's big, big time. He does not care if you showed up. He cares enough, though,

about you that he reached back out to you. And all of a sudden, this turned into a new segment, therapy by the good guys. Therapy by the good guys. and it's a perfect transition to a speakpipe moment. Let's get into it. Why not?

I don't have it queued up because why would I? I'm unprepared. Speakpipe.com slash good guys to leave us a message. Well, while you keep looking at that, I'm going to keep telling you, text Judd, Barbara. We're going to have him text Judd. Barb, I love you, Mom, so much. Do not bring it up.

It elicits trauma in me. And I start feeling like I'm 300 pounds again, tap dancing. for our soup and I can't do it mom I never wanted I wanted to be an astronaut and you know that and suddenly I'm on a TV show on Nickelodeon miserable let me be an astronaut

you would have gotten lost at space you become an astronaut you're dead they would have shot me down because they would have thought I was an asteroid I was going to say you go up there with nine people you eat all the snacks everyone dies

you ate all that move All that moon cheese. What happened to my dinner, Josh? Who ate all the freeze-stride Neopalitans? That's really funny. This is a fat guy in space where they all die because he runs out of food. The sequel to the whale.

Okay. This one's from Peyton. Hi, Josh and Ben. I'm looking for some advice and as two former fat guys, I mean that in the nicest way possible, I feel like you guys would be really, I've got candidates to help me out with this specific advice. So my mom has put on a lot of weight in the past couple of years,

and she's just been really unhappy and has been really struggling, and she was crying on the phone to me about it the other day, and it makes me just really upset that she doesn't feel good about herself. She exercises a lot, eats well, and just, like, can't seem to start losing the weight or keep the weight off. And I think she would be a really good candidate for Ozempic or something similar, but I'm not really sure how to bring it up to her in a way that, like, I don't know, doesn't seem, like, offensive.

I'm just looking for a way to like bring it up to her and like as an option for her to explore. Any advice you guys have would be really helpful. Love the pod. Keep doing you. Thanks. Mm. First of all, thank you for calling me a former fat person.

That's really nice. I'll always be fat. And I'm still currently fat. But I'll also always be fat. It's part of my heart. Hug your mother because I want to hug your mother. Like moms are the best. And people are going to gain weight and it is what it is.

but like hug your mom. And if she's coming to you complaining about her weight, then you absolutely can recommend that you know people that have had success on a weight loss drug. Like, I don't think that's a sensitive topic. I'm not a doctor. But what I will also say is that there are many older women who try to die, can't lose weight, all this stuff.

Have your mom check her thyroid. Go to the doctor and have your thyroid check. I've heard that this is a thing. And sometimes thyroid medicine can fix it because maybe she is exercising and dieting and eating perfect, can't lose weight. Maybe she actually has a thyroid problem. So check that out. But if it's not that, O-Septic's great, you can tell her that a person that lost close to 50 pounds on it has loved it.

It's a great, great drug and highly, highly recommend it. But give her a big hug, big smooch, and yeah, thyroid. I agree. Have your levels checked. And I think there's two ways to bring up big issues. And it's either in a drive by or with massive caveat. Because with something like this, I think what people fear is that you've really been thinking about it, maybe talking about it with other people, in quotes, behind their back.

And like, so I think that you can either go, mom, I love you. I don't want you to be offended. I just want the best for you. Obviously, I'm hearing so many of these. things in the press and whatnot. I have some friends who've used Osempec and it's really helped them. Do you think you would ever even consider it or do you think maybe, you know, you can do the really lovely caveats of just coming from a lovely place and if she doesn't do it, no problem, just wanting to equip her with all the tools that can

make her journey easier if they are right for her. Or you do a drive-by and you just go like, you wouldn't try Osemic, would you? And like, and then right off of her face, you go Like, yeah, yeah, that's crazy. Now, you never, and then who would do that? It's not, not you. Or she kind of goes, well, and you go, because I saw Oprah does it. And she goes, I do love Oprah. And suddenly, you know, your mom's getting 25 units.

If it's good enough for Oprah, it's good enough for you. That's it. It's what I live by. If it's good enough for Oprah, it's good enough for you. This one is scary because it's from Anonymous. Hi, Josh and Ben. Need your help. One of my besties is dating a guy from Europe who is in the States on a work visa.

They've been together for less than a year, and they're talking marriage and moving in together in a few months. Overall, I would describe their relationship as very intense. I feel like we don't know his intentions or have anyone nearby that can vouch for this guy. IDK, if it's the Euro accent or what, but she is definitely ignoring serious red flags. He's really controlling and possessive of her, and she's really controlling. always passing it off as him being extra caring and thoughtful. I am genuinely worried he's taking advantage of her kind and naive spirit to get a visa. How can I help her consider some of the red flags

without being an asshole? Or better to just be supportive and hope it works itself out? We are only 26, so I'm hoping to at least help her slow down and not rush into anything when there are so many factors. P.S. Yes, this is another AI voice submission. You think? You think? Submit a speak pipe for a while. And your genius listener from a few weeks ago, gave me the courage.

Maisel. Mazzletove. All I have to say, I'm sorry. All I have to say is if you're going to submit a speak pipe, no more AI. That's the last AI generated speak pipe we play. You're uncomfortable with it being your voice? Ask a friend.

Phone a friend. I can't. Is it just me, Josh? I don't want to complain. I can barely even understand. stand. Like, I can't, I can't comprehend when it's that voice. Like, I can't hear it in the same way. It's not good. Not good. It's not good. But all right. So there's some, there's some trashy Yugoslavian Eastern bar computer hacker. Yeah, yeah, there's some trashy guy that your

girlfriend is dating or something and you're worried and he's controlling. And you're probably right. Yes. He sounds like a complete scam schmuck. No good. Any controlling man has things that he needs to work out before he enters a relationship. Yes. Don't be controlling. You're with a woman because you love her.

Don't try to turn her into somebody that she isn't. Try to turn yourself into somebody that you aren't first because clearly you don't like yourself. So controlling is a huge red flag for me. If I like, if I see a controlling, like, you know it when you see it. They're the worst. The worst. They're the worst. And you just like, like, like lady, like, come on.

Like just like, like, yeah. So clearly your, your friend is screwed. And there's nothing you can do because you can, you can do your like final attempt. Like literally you are going to have to like, you know, get a bunch of spy equipment and get him dead to rights and have like literal hardcore evidence. Because right now. your friend is all about, you know, Nutella and Smokefish and her Yugoslavian boyfriend. Shout out the former Yugoslavia.

I don't think it's a thing anymore. No, no more you? No, it's not. I don't know. Marshall, will you check? Is Yugoslavia a thing? Maybe it is. I feel like it became something else.

I think, let's see. Fun facts. Shout out. RIP. There are no more. There are no more Uyghs. No more Uyghs. What did Yugoslavia become?

Who inherited it? We're so dumb, Ben. I know. Since 92, dude. Serbia. It's Serbia. And Montenegro. Ooh, Montenegro I've heard good things about.

And Serbia. They both sound great, but nothing compares to the Ugs. Listen, we got to bring back the Ugs. Tell your friend, she's dating a guy who's countryless. Okay. He's running around telling him, telling people he's from Yugoslavia, and we're here to tell you, it's not been a thing since 92. No, it hasn't.

And I'm just saying, it goes back to when we were younger and you were so worried about falling in quicksand, right? It was always a big thing. Yeah. Quick sand, quicksand, quicksand. Yugoslavia, why do I even know about Yugoslavia? I feel like they spoke a lot about Yugoslavia for Yugoslavia to not be a place. Yeah, there's nothing to do. Your friend is obviously under the spell of a, of a interesting.

man and yeah, controlling people, that's, that's bad. Controlling men, a controlling, I don't know, I don't mean to gender it, but like a controlling man is just, it's as skeevy as it gets, because it feels violent. Yes, but I will say a controlling woman is also terrible. I just watched a horrible movie. Was I in it? It's called, it's called May, no, I, you know I don't watch movies that you're in. It's called, it's called, it's called, you didn't like it with, with, no, it's, it's It's not that I didn't like it. I thought that it was, no, I didn't like it. But I did think that it was powerful.

And the story, because I live under Iraq, I've never heard of this woman, 35 years old, gotten pregnant by a 13-year-old and had his baby in prison. Like, that is psychotic. And I don't know why you're, I guess that's not happening with this woman in the Yugoslavian man, but I'm just saying that women are not clean in this. Terrible story. Oof. Don't watch May December if you, if you,

You don't want to be very depressed. It's very sad. Well, it's two a week now of good guys. It's two a week. Monday, Thursday. And all you got to do to get it to three a week is listen to it more and send it to more friends. The more people that listen to it, we'll do this every day. Josh, we'll do it twice a day.

We'll do a morning show and an evening show. That's 10 episodes a week. All we need is more people listening. So, rate reviews, subscribe. Marshall's Googling Xanax and beer. How? How do I kill myself? Marshall's looking for homemade cyanide. Rate review and subscribe, five stars.

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And I'm sorry if your volume is turned up and I was screaming at you. Take it all back. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.