Good Guys - We've Had It! with Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan

Episode Date: October 30, 2023

What do you get when you mix 'what are ya nuts' and 'I've had it?' You get this fabulous gorgeous episode with the hosts of the insanely popular podcast I've Had It, Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps��� Sullivan. A interior designer and attorney by day, Jen and Pumps know how to dish it like they can take it once they hit the mic. Tune in and enjoy! WE'VE HAD IT! Leave us a voicemail here! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Sponsors: Hero Bread is offering a special 10% off your first order with the code GOODGUYS at Hero.co Masterclass.com/goodguys for 15% off an annual membership Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Josh Peck. And I'm Ben Saffer. And we're the good guys. There's a lot of guys out there. And we're the good ones. Welcome to the good guys podcast. Today we have our spirit animals, our spirit pod, I would say.

These incredible podcasters, Jen and Pumps, I've had it. Thank you for coming. I've had it. It's kind of like, what are you nuts? It really is just like seeing us, across from this beautiful TV. Thank you guys so much for joining us. We've seen your podcast.

We've watched your clips. You guys are incredibly hilarious. And we're very excited for our good guys' audience to be exposed to. I've had it. How are you ladies doing today? We're great. Thank you for having us. Fantastic.

Thanks so much for having us on. You guys are coming in live from OKC, right? That's right. Also known as Action City. How do you guys feel? This seems like I've had it adjacent. How do you guys feel about acronyms in general? I don't like them.

I don't understand 90% of them. I have to Google it to see what it means. So once I get one, then I forget it. So I'm not great at it. The only one I can stick with is end of day, E-O-D. That's about the only one I've got. That's good work, jargon. I like acronyms on a case-by-case basis.

Like, OKC, I like. G-R-W-M, get ready with me. I've had it with that. So acronyms need to be judged on a case-by-case basis, much like I feel the exact same way about children. Children need to be judged on a case-by-case basis. But even OKC, you know, it's bothering me because when I think about like North Carolina is just NC, it's not NTC.

Why is Oklahoma City? It should just be OC, no? Ben, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why, because Oklahoma is okay. You know the musical, Roger and Hammerstein? Yes. Oklahoma is okay. And then you just add the C.

So that's why. OKC. I've unfortunately seen a reboot of the Oklahoma musical. I don't know if we've spoken about this, Josh. It was absolutely the worst show I've ever seen in my entire life. And it was so unfortunate because we were front row and you never, ever, ever want to be front row. One, at a show that you need to leave because we had to leave. And then they knew that we left.

And two, we were like surrounding this like big dinner table. It was like almost like an interactive show. And it was terrible. And you know how in Oklahoma the gun goes off and it's very powerful. I swear on my life, I thought, I thought there were terrible. Like I thought that I was being shot at. I thought, I thought like somebody stormed the theater. It was horrible.

So, but go thunder. Go thunder. It's such a Jewish right of passage that your parents take you to the show, Fiddler on the roof, when you're like 10 years old, is like, well, you've got to see this. And you have to act. I'm sure there's plenty of Jews in Oklahoma City, but like you have to act that like it's this great revelation. It is. No, it's not. It's cute. It's cute. It's got a couple good, good bangers. But overall, as a play, it's very historic. There's a reason why we left our small villages, right?

Yes. What's better if I was a rich man? or if I was a rich girl by Christina Aguilera? Both good. I think though it's Gwen Stefani. Oh, God. I'm sorry, Christina. You can come on the Good Guys podcast or I've had it and just talk about that. Sorry about that.

Jen, I'd love to hear more about your resentment towards children because I have two of my own. And while they're okay, mostly children, I find insufferable. I completely agree. I don't really like children. I don't understand people that devote their entire. career to children, although I appreciate that they do that so that I don't have to do that. I don't think kids are that smart. And we get a lot of shit for that. I don't think they've done anything with their lives yet. And they constantly require a lot of praise. And I'm like,

what have you done with your life yet? Well, I'm only eight. And I'm like, exactly. So why are we sitting around praising you all the time? So we have five kids between us. Of course, I'm being somewhat deadpan here because the internet takes everything we say very seriously. But Pumps has three kids. I have two. I have a 20-year-old that goes to Syracuse and then a 17-year-old that's a junior in high school. I like this age a lot because they're very self-sufficient. But in general, I don't like kids, but I've realized in doing our podcast, there is a group of people that I despise more than children that are the power mom, helicopter mom, tomahawk choppers that enable the brattiness. In that scenario, I'm pro-kid. That's the only time.

Most of the other time I'm pro adult. But when it comes to making a decision over the power mom or the kid, I'm pro kid. We spoke about this on our last episode of Good Guys. People are losers. Yeah. And losers make losers. Yeah. And losers make losers.

Losers make losers. Losers be banging. Yeah. LBB. There's an acronym I'll do. Yes, LBBB. Losers be banging. And then they come out with these loser kids.

And they're terrible. Just terrible. They're no good. And what I always. I just want to say when people are hyping up their children and talking about how great they are, I want to say, in your opinion, in your opinion. Yeah. There's so many things that kill me. Mostly when parents talk about their kids and these club sports and these travel themes, we're clubbing, we're traveling.

And what I want to say is, hey, they're 15. If they were great, we know. Yep. You know by now. They're not great. You don't have David Beckham for his son. You have Rick. And he's going to get a communications degree from, you know, Arizona State.

And maybe that's about as good as it's going to be. No, I agree. My kids play, my youngest son plays AAU basketball. And the majority of the kids are good players. And then you see a couple from time to time where you're like, wow, that kid is built different. I mean, you can just see it. Hashtag built different. They use that like all in the AAU basketball stuff.

But the parents that are the most insufferable, and my husband used to be one of these people. And you have a dad and he has a kid that's probably about five, nine. They completely lie about the kid's height and they roll out a six foot situation. And they have like reels to put on Instagram for them. What are they called? The hype reel. A hype reel for the kid. And you know immediately because you look at the dad, he's maxed out about five, nine.

look at the mom, she's about 5'2. And you go to a Thunder game, Oklahoma City Thunder game, and these guys are fucking specimen. I mean, genetic specimen. And then you look at Billy over here, and you're like, he's not going to the NBA. He's not even getting a D1 scholarship. You need to pipe the fuck down.

We've had it with you. They are insufferable. Terrible. Absolutely terrible. AAU, though, is, I mean, that's amazing. So your son is great at basketball. He has to be. He's good at basketball.

AAU is kind of a racket. Like, if you'll pay for it, they'll let your kid be on an AAU team. Oh, I had no clue. I always, at least in New York, they're always, like, praising AAU, like, oh, I get to play with LeBron or like LeBron's son, but now I understand you can pay for it. Who knew? Who knew? Who knew?

How did you, to meet? I hired her to decorate my house. I was redoing my house. And so I hired her to be the decorator because I'd been to different houses that I really liked, and they were both, both the houses that I thought, oh, I like. this decorator, they were the same person. And I had known her husband for years. And so I invited her over my house. And we met with the architect and we were going to remodel everything. I'd never laid eyes on her before. But she walked in my house. I was like, I have terrible taste.

I hate picking shit out. So I just need you to do everything. And she said, well, I can tell you have terrible taste. You have silk flowers on your table. And just above that, you have a picture of silk flowers. And that's the absolute worst thing you can do. And I busted out laughing. and fell head over hills and love immediately. Wow. And then your kids were sort of like the ones who encourage you guys to start a podcast, right? Just observing your banter?

That's correct. So we were on a Bravo show in, what, 2016 through around 2019 called Sweet Home, Oklahoma. And then it was just called Sweet Home, which was kind of a spinoff of my design. And then it was canceled. And we were fine with that. And we would always talk on the phone

And we have like what we call dead horse sessions where I'm like, hey, let's talk about XYZ. And it could be something that happened 10 years ago. And we drag out a dead horse and we beat the shit out of it with the same enthusiasm 10 years later as we did on day one. And so our kids were like, y'all should do a podcast. You still have people that like you guys from the show, to talk about all the shit you've had it with.

So it was about a year ago last October that we did it and kind of had tried to figure out how to do this as we've gone along and it just kind of blew up. I mean, I think that everybody's kind of irritated with the toxic positivity suggestions that we see all over the World Wide Web. Yeah, affirmations, hustle culture. It doesn't work. Girl boss. It's not going to work. No one's changing. Everyone's locked in. Let's be honest. If you're over 16, you're locked in. You're not going to have some inspiring coach who's going to come into your life and make you a better person. Your bad habits are coded and it's over. But Gary Vaynerchuk says that you can restart your career at any age.

You worked for this fraud. I can't. No. No, Josh is 100% right. You can't. You just can't. You are what you are. And that's totally fine.

The thing is about accepting who you are. and not wanting to be somebody else, but you are who you are. 100%. The song should have been, don't go changing. No problem. Today's episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Hero Bread. Guys, we love Hero Bread here at Good Guys. I love Hero Bread here at the Peck household because everyone in my family can enjoy it,

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Because you got a big podcast. They've got to be like, hey, moms, thanks to us. Why don't you peel us off a couple? So, like, I am really shallow and pretentious when it comes to, shopping and travel. And my husband is equally as shallow and pretentious. We're just like monsters together, like capitalistic monsters, right? Well, my kids are like, they go shop at thrift stores, and they're very like socially responsible and they don't really ask me for much stuff. And it's unbelievable what great kids they are because they rarely ask me for anything. And like a request

for Christmas, they'll be like, mom, don't give me any hype beast stuff. So then I'm like, what the Fax hypebe, so I have to Google that. And so, like, they, if I bought them, like, I remember Josh bought Roman some off white shoes and they were like the it pair and we paid way over retail for them. And Roman was like, dad, no way. I'm not wearing these shoes. If I go hang out with my kids that I play AAU basketball with, they just, no, I'm not doing that because they come from maybe inner city families and they're just very socially responsible and they're much better people than Josh. That's my husband's name than Josh and I are. I mean, they're a, million times better and have a lot more depth when it comes to materialism than I do. And I don't

know how that happened. I really don't. They went the other way. They did. They overcorrected. My boys are not at all interested in the podcast, not even a little bit, like I've never listened to it. I think they've watched the clips only because they might be on Instagram or something. And I have to say last night when I said that you guys were coming on our pod and we were going on that was the very first time my senior in high school got excited about the podcast, the first time. So I appreciate you. Give me some credit. Well, thank him from us.

Thank him from us. Is there a bit because your podcast is so good and it's become so popular in your touring and doing all the great things that come with having a big pod. But you also had these incredible careers before, you know, pumps you a lawyer and Jen with interior design. Like you were established successful people. And now you're having this sort of incredible, you know, new chapter. Is there a part of you that thinks, oh, thank God, I don't have to be normal anymore.

Like, I was always supposed to be famous. Well, I mean, let me just first state that we're really liberal and we live in the buckle of the Bible Belt, deep red Oklahoma City. So normal has never been like my default setting at all. And everybody in Oklahoma, I'm not kidding you. like, what do you in? Oh, I work in oil and gas. What do you do? I'm a CPA for an oil and gas company. Everybody's in oil and gas. And so Pumps his job being a divorce attorney, it's pretty juicy. Like she's got clients that are swingers, you know, lesbian divorces, really good juicy stuff.

But I think you're kind of sick of that, aren't you? Yeah, I'm kind of sick of the handholding of divorce work. But when we started this, it was just kind of to be fun, like a side hustle. We just had no idea how much work was involved and what all entailed. So ignorance was kind of bliss in that department. But now, you know, with the success of the pod, do you, you know, eventually close up shop and be like lesbians, you're going to have to find a new attorney? Because I'm a famous podcaster. I'm holding my breath and crossing my fingers that that happens. Yes.

I would very much enjoy that happening. And we're close. Mazel. We love it. Well, Ben and I are both, you know, young, happily married men. Ben's a young man. I'm less young. But we're like the same age.

But do you know Laura Wasser? I do not. No. So she's like, she's the character in that movie, marriage story with Adam Driver and Scarlet Joe Hanton. Yes. So she plays like that famous, the famous badass divorce attorney was sort of based on her. And I interviewed her years ago.

And I started to sort of say like, what are sort of the, you know, what do you think are some of the bad sides? of a divorce to come. And she's like not being physical. She said, because if that dies and for a long time, she's like, trust me, they're getting it somewhere else. And I was like, wow. So true.

Would you concur? Yes. I would absolutely agree. It's funny because I'll have clients come in, particularly women that are naive. And I was super naive. I've been divorced. So I'm part of the problem too. But they'll be like, we haven't had sex in five years.

I don't know why I want some. divorce, you know, all this. And I'm like, well, because he's got a girlfriend. I mean, I don't say that, but that's what I'm thinking. And then like six months later, they're like, oh my gosh, I think he's seeing someone, he's got a girlfriend. And I just want to go, why are you surprised? Like, that's the least shocking thing I've ever heard. But, you know, people are naive until it happens to them. Five years. Holy smokes. When you said, like, taking some time, I thought you meant like two weeks. Five years. Yeah, of course they're cheap. Of course they're cheating.

Like what else you, five years? Wow, that's crazy. Do you, you know, there's that old joke of like, why are divorce is so expensive because they're worth it? Like, do you, what are your thoughts in general? Obviously, divorce is good for business. But will you sometimes have someone come in and it sounds like maybe it's salvageable and you'll sort of try to push them in that direction?

Josh, I would love to say yes, but I do not. Typically, what I do try to do, though, is in situations, like you can make a divorce extremely expensive if you want to fight over stupid shit. And there are attorneys that do that. They just fight, they'll spend $100,000 fighting over $50,000 in a savings account type stuff. And I try to be very upfront about it's not, you're not putting your money in a smart place. Your attorney's fees are going to be exorbitant if you're fighting over every silverware in the drawer. And people do it. I mean, it doesn't matter how much it costs they want to do it.

But what I do try to do is just give them good advice like, you're going to have to have kids with this person forever. Let's not be as acrimonious as we, unless we absolutely have to be. And, you know, sometimes it works. More oftentimes it doesn't because just by the definition of separating your life and your kids and all that, everybody hates each other's cats. What's the pettiest thing you've ever seen as a divorce attorney? The pettiest thing? Well, I just told this on our podcast. Tell him.

Tell him. Okay. So if I had a case. and I was really young. I just started being an attorney, and it was an older couple. And they didn't have any kids, but they had two golden retrievers

that they absolutely loved. And so we did a visitation schedule for the golden retrievers, like week on with dad, week on with mom. So my client calls me one day, he's bawling hysterically, he can't even breathe.

And she had euthanized the dogs when they came to her to visit to spite him. Isn't that horrible? That horrible. Horrible. Horrible. That's sick.

Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my God. She's such a witch. Totally. That's crazy. That's crazy. I would kill her.

I would literally kill her. Same. It'd be bad. And then I, oh my God. Yeah, people are mean and petty. And this is a funny one. So Keppel gets divorced. They don't have any kids.

She had moved into his house and she had planted tulips in the fall. Well, they were divorced by the time the tulips came up. And she bitched constantly about how much time she spent on the tulips. And I was just like, there's nothing we can do about the tulips. Like you planted them there, they're there. So she calls me one day after they'd bloomed. And she'd taken shears and she went over to the house and cut off every bulb of every tulip while he was at work. Hell yeah.

Oh, my God. See, but at least that's like, that's fun. That's relatable. Like, sure, it's mean, but it's fun. You take the dog for a week and you kill the dog. Like, that woman should be thrown off a bridge. No, it's bad. I don't even, oh my God, wow.

What are you nuts? That honestly leads me to, should we do our What are you nuts moment with them? Yes. I want to tell one quick story that that divorce attorney Laura Wassert told me, which was she had a couple who had an extensive wine collection. The husband just was like obsessed with wine, super rich, like a million dollar collection with like 150 insane bottles. So he wants these damn bottles. He wants the wine. collection. So he wins. And she has to now deliver the wine to his house. So she goes, no problem.

She rips the labels off every. So he doesn't know whether he's drinking a $10,000 bottle or Boone's farm. And she's like, drink up, asshole. By the way, if you don't know the difference between those two, you shouldn't have the collection to begin with. Just saying, just saying. But unless he wanted to resell them, wow, that's also. But that's good, Petty. That's good. I don't think I'll ever get over the dock. It's probably because me and my wife have a King Charles Cavalier named Theo that is like the light of my life. And if somebody did that, I swear to God, I would strangle them.

That is just fucking nuts. Give your what are you nuts. My what are you nuts. Well, first on our podcast, it's funny that yours is called I've had it. Ours is we every day talk about things that we've had it with. That's it. That's literally our personalities. It's the same thing.

But what are you nuts is your gripe with people, places, things, anything, you walk down the street in Oklahoma City and you're like, what the fuck is this guy doing? What are you nuts? So mine is I rarely, maybe, what do I come to LA once every six weeks, six to eight weeks? Sure. Okay. So every single time I come here, I'm enraged because I just watch these people. I watch these places. I watch these things and I'm like, you are mentally unstable. Like, what is wrong with you? And so I get in an Uber. I go to my hotel and I'm looking at my phone and I'm thinking to myself, what is this? It says, would you like to take the eco-refer? You know, route. Like, what the hell does that mean? What do you mean you want to take the eco route? What do you

nuts? Tell me what that means. How can I now, now that I'm in my car, it's a gas burning car, how can I possibly take a more eco-efficient route? What does that mean? Maybe it's a longer route with less traffic because traffic is really what makes pollution. Understood. So now that I'm in my Uber, I should take double the amount of time, take a longer route for the eco-friendly route. It just doesn't make any sense. And I thought to myself, what are you nuts? Like, who is this made for? Who's looking at this? And they're like, oh, Uber, that was a splendid idea. Thank God, I have an eco route to choose from. Because really, the eco route would be a Tesla, right? Like, technically, a non-gas burning vehicle. But if I'm already in a gas-burning vehicle, how can I now take an eco-root? I'm not taking the long road.

What are you nuts? Total what? I'll do mine and feel free, guys, if you have one, we'd love to hear We'll give you a time to think. My Woody and Nuts, you know, and it's hacky, but I can't help myself. I was at the airport the other day. And listen, to me, if you don't have pre-check or clear, like, we're just, we live in different worlds. You got to get your life together. But I, there's this guy ahead of me. And this, this guy is in a pre-check line, okay?

And, but they're, they're like, sir, you can't, you can't be in this line. You clearly don't have pre-trial. And I go, yeah, he clearly doesn't have. pre-check. How did I know? He goes in with the civilians a riffraff. He gets in their line. I see this guy. He pulls his pant up. He's got mid-shin combat boots at the airport. Mid-shin. The laces could stretch half a mile. This guy, you wore these to the airport. Wear a sketch or slip on. Okay. I mean, you're wearing combat boots through TSA. This is going to take you 20 minutes to take off and 50 minutes to put back on.

What are you nuts? What are you nuts? He's the perfect, like perfect candidate for TSA precheck. You don't have to take off those combat boots. Can leave him on. Maybe he did have precheck. Maybe he was gaslit. Yeah.

And this guy had no, he was not doing combat. There was no reason for him to have said boots on. He was overweight. He looked unkempt. He was not, there's, he didn't need such a. How overweight was he? Because perhaps he wears the. combat boots for ankle support.

No, then he should wear a Nike Air Monarch. The guy has flimsy ankles. He's like 450 pounds. He uses them and you're making fun of him. I'm just kidding. Then he should wear like the official shoe of fat guys, which is like a very wide brooks. And the Ozempic pen.

Just like a, I actually have to tell a quick hilarious story. Now that I'm thinking about it. Claudia and I did, my wife, we did a meet and greet last night for spurt society. And a girl shows up early and she says, Claudia, I have to make a flight. But before I go, can you please? sign my OZempic pen. And it was unbelievable.

Just like, it was so good. It was so good. It was very good. Today's episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by Masterclass. I love Masterclass. I swear I have been a happy user of Masterclass since the winner of 2020. Because I would see these commercials and I would see people like Aaron Sorkin, one of the greatest screenwriters alive, or David Mamet, one of our great playwrights or even

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Yes. Okay. So I was on Instagram and one of our listeners sent me a video of a woman doing a GRWM, which as we all unfortunately know now is a get ready with me from the hospital about to give birth. And so she starts it off with. Hey guys, I'm literally in the hospital about to get birth. I'm tapping my epidural, but let's do a get ready with me. And she has the phone out and she puts on the makeup and she does it all.

And then her poor husband comes into frame and he looks like a hostage. I mean, it looks like he's trying to send a message. You can tell he's fucking terrified. And he's thinking, God damn it, she has cemented this thing so hardcore right now. You can tell he cannot fucking stand her. And she's about to pop out his kid. And I thought, is this where we are now? Like we're doing the get ready with me nine months.

You're about to squeeze a human being out of your vizine and you're doing a get ready with me. What are you nuts? I thought it was fucking bananas. That's crazy. What are you nuts? That's a good one. Live in the moment, lady. Live in the moment.

Terrible. Terrible. Pumps, you got anything? Mine is, I have a high school senior, which Josh, you will find out that as your children age and teenage years, especially their senior year, it's a. complete racket. There's all the shit they want the parents to do. It's a constant, be up at the school. Let's do this. Let's do that. So I started getting a group text. I guess it's a group me and a group text about the senior posters they want us to make. So you put pictures of your kid like all through their life and then you put it next to, I don't know, something on the football table because he plays football. So senior night they put this poster board out.

these fucking women are sending their entire, like, mood boards, Pinterest boards, showing each other what their board for their child is going to look like. And we're talking hours and hours and hours. I mean, I think for the other two, I sent like 10 pictures to Walgreens, slapped them on a poster board and called it a day. But these women are like Pinteresting it, mood boarding it, the whole line. And I just think, number one, why don't you have more to do that, this can be the focal point of your life.

And then obviously you have to say, what are you nuts? I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you is what I say. I love it. That'll be our Patreon segment. What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm sorry, am I not supposed to cast? No, no, please. It's amazing.

So I want to ask, because you guys clearly have great kids. And I have a five and a one year old and Ben's going to start procreating in no time. What's a general tip about parenting? how can I make sure that I don't have these no good Losers. Socialist kids. I'm kidding. But like, I don't want to have losers. You guys got any advice? I just think, I think they are who they are. Like, I think so much of who we are is genetic. And then when it comes to the nurture portion of it, I mean, I think the best thing you can do is not lie to them and have secrets because they're going to figure it out. Like my husband, for example, has been to rehab five times. He really struggled with a deal. and during the times that he relapsed, depending on what age my kids were, I was pretty

honest with them. When they were in elementary school, I was like, your dad had to go away, he had to go work on himself, because I didn't want to say drug addiction because you hear all this war on drugs things, and it sounds so dangerous. But I was able to say he's sick. It doesn't have anything to do with you. And as they got older, you know, they completely know now that their dad's in recovery, their dad can't drink, their dad can't take opiates, et cetera. And so I never lied to them. and it really saved them from having a lot of resentments. And as you can imagine, five rehab stents means that I did a lot of therapy. And one of the things that my therapist told me, and I really believe this to be true, is secrets keep you sick.

And I think that goes with a family too. And I think that a lot of us have these aha moments when we're adults and we look back and we're like, I knew my parents were fucked up. You know, like I knew I knew something was going on here and there. So I think if you can mitigate the secrets as best you can, they're going to be able to focus on what is in front of them instead of internalizing anxiety and stresses as a child. Because I think that's what can create a lot of dysfunction in early adulthood that then you have to sift through when you're raising kids, which is unfortunately what I had to do because I had to realize while my husband was in rehab, the therapist looked at me. And he's like, yeah, no, he's pretty fucked up. but why did you pick him? And I was like, is Ashton Coutcher in this room?

Am I getting punked? Are you suggesting that I'm the fucking problem here? And he was. And he was right. Like I subconsciously picked somebody that was emotionally unavailable. So I had to do that kind of work too. So, God, I didn't mean for this to be so positive and uplifting. But I would just say try to be the healthiest person you can be at, you know, at every stage of your kids,

childhood and try not to lie to them. I mean, of course you might do like the Easter bunny or y'all are Jewish, right? So you don't have to do any of that shit. I'm an atheist and I still lied to my kids about the Easter bunny and Christmas and whatnot. But that was, that's the best thing that I did. So my kids are relatively unscarred from their dad's five back-to-back rehab stents. B-to-B. It's funny you say that, Jim, because like I never met my dad. And my mom, like growing up when I was a kid, basically she just told me these glowing things about my father that he was handsome and a great business person and good at schmoozing and all these things. And I'm like, you know, other than the fact that he wants nothing to do with me, this guy sounds like a real

sterling dude. The only negative is he's really got no interest in me. But she highlighted all the good things about him and probably all the reasons why she kind of fell for him in the beginning. And then solely but surely, like when I became a teenager and more capable of understanding, she told me the other side of things that he made it really difficult for him, for her to find any sort of help financially when he said that he didn't want any part of it and that he had a wife and kids and a whole other life that he sort of, that we were kept secret from. So I applaud you because I am the result of someone who like slowly doled out as I was ready. honesty. Right. It's hard. Being a parent's really, really hard. Yeah. I think being a parent is hard because

being an adult is so hard and we're so ill prepared for it because when we're kids, you think when I'm big, I'm going to do this. And when I'm big, I'm going to do that. It's really like, listen up, kid, let somebody tie a fucking balloon around your wrist and stroll you around the zoo. That's as good as it's going to fucking get. That's it. That is peak life. That's peak species. Right. there. And I think we're so ill-prepared and lack emotional intelligence in our 20s and early 30s. And so maybe one day you two can be beacons of mental health like pumps and me. I mean, you can help me hope. It's so true, though. Nobody tells kids that this is it. You're in it. It's the, it's the

like most stress-free. I guess unless you're not lying to them. But it's the most stress-free. But it's the most stress-free that your life's ever going to be. I disagree. Being a kid sucked. I hated being a kid. See, okay. So this is different. Yeah. I think it's, I've been dying to be this age my whole life. Fran Leibowitz is a great quote, which she says, you know, I've always been old at heart. I didn't like being a kid because we were broke and I had like a single mom who was the best, but I hated being powerless. So it's probably why I traded my childhood for fucking start them. But it was like, oh, good, I can make money. Like, I can help, you know, give us security and provide, like, I didn't like being powerless as a kid. And on the polar opposite side,

I grew up just, I grew up just with wonderful parents. No, we were not like the richest, but they were always the best. And I look back on my childhood and like, oh my God, I was so fucking stress-free. And I know that my parents had struggles and problems. Just again, like, human beings, but they did such a crazy, unbelievable job, I guess, of sheltering me from the things that I didn't need to see. I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be as stress-free as I wasn't. Ever. So I hope my, it's funny, though, like, what do you do? Do you prepare them properly? Because I think that maybe I was so sheltered from it that adulthood was like shaking me. but if you're honest with your kids, sure, like things are a little bit less rosy when they're young,

but it properly prepares them for life ahead, which is not so rosy. Is there a fear with your kids where, especially because you guys do well and are my greatest fear is, I have friends who like the parents are awesome and they're very successful and they have these kids who are lovely and useless. They can't do anything because, They've had it done for them their whole life. And it's not like, they're not gross about it. They're lovely kids.

They're just like, when put to the test, they can't do it because they've never faced any, like, true hardship. I think it depends on how much money you have. I just want to be clear. Like, I think that the people, like, I have yet to meet a billionaire who didn't have loser kids. Like, these kids agreed. They don't know how to do anything.

But I think that you can be successful and still, is still in your kids, at least like, I think that you can have normal kids and be moderately wealthy. No? I don't know. What do you guys think? I think that that's probably true on the billionaires kids, because if you know you never have to worry about money, you don't ever have to really accomplish anything because you're taking care of forever if you have a trust fund that's humongous and stuff. I think that probably the bigger issue that I see with my kids age, and I'm guilty, I'm an overmotherer. I do their laundry.

I iron their clothes. You know, I'm like a waitress. I do all the shit that I would tell somebody not to do. But it's like college is kind of the unifiers. Because when they go to college, they have to do it themselves. They're completely required to do it themselves. So if I had it to do over again, I would require more of my kids in terms of, you know, part-time job in high school. I mean, I made them work during the summers, but I don't know.

I just, you know, always you look back in the same. think you'd do something different. But I do think when you have a safety net of a billion dollar trust fund, it's hard to be put your life to a whole lot of use. So we do this segment on the pod called SpeakPiper. We have people calling who need our advice, who need a little bit of guidance. And I thought maybe we could just quadruple bang these calls out and just really, you know, just give these people some, I mean, what, and they're going to give way better advice than we do. This is a think tank. I mean, we should all go, we should call up Biden and be like, what do you need?

We can help with geopolitics. Okay. So this first one is from Chloe. And as you guys will come to find out, I'm not good at retrieving these because I'm not good at a lot of things. Okay, Chloe. Hey, Josh and Ben. I have a question slash advice for you guys. We have a family friend who married this woman who absolutely takes charge talking and just saying,

made things a little too far. She's made comments, you know, very horrible comments about, you know, different weight issues, maybe that we've had an intelligent issues. And she plays it off as she's joking when we say, like, that's not very nice. Like, why would you say that kind of thing? And we hang out with them quite a bit. We have a lot of mutual friends. So it's kind of really hard to get around this in general. So the next time she does this, me and my husband really want to figure out what to do. So what would you guys suggest that we do? Thank you.

Ladies. So just to recap. Yes. So husband and wife have two friends, husband and wife. And the other wife is a huge, huge bitch. Right? Yeah, that's what it is. Okay.

Good. Now we can start. I mean, I think if they've said, hey, that's kind of mean. And she's like, oh, I'm just kidding. I think it's kind of like, and this is probably the pettiest, most, immature way to do it, but I think I would just start flipping the script. Like if she comments on, you know, your weight, then you flip around and say, you know, you look like you've gained about seven or eight pounds, have you? You look heavier since the last time I saw you. And just completely

just flip the script on her every time and make her match her energy. Like if you've tried all civil recourse, then just, you know, go down with her. You know, the whole thing like Michelle Obama says, when they go low, we go high. It sounds like they've tried to go high. I think they need to try to go low. Couldn't agree more. That's perfect advice. You go low, we go lower. That's her energy. I totally agree. And yeah, that stinks though. But if you and your husband are on the same page, which is great, I was nervous that she was going to say that her husband didn't feel that the other girl was that mean. But if they're on the same page, you should also probably just stop seeing these people. Like these sound like miserable people. So you could either go lower, try that first because it's probably

fun. Like, have fun. But then ditch them. Like, leave them on the side of the road. You don't need bad friends that are negative. Like, just shed the negativity in your life and move on. Like, that's the, it's one of my favorite things. Like, if I have somebody in my life these days that is not making me feel great when I see them, I slowly distance myself, slowly but surely. Like, just don't see people that don't make you happy. Agree. I think you also have to, You can't underestimate one crazy-ass moment. Like, here's the thing. It's not okay what Will Smith did at the Oscars,

but I bet you nobody was fucking with Will Smith for at least a year. Like, sometimes, like, could you imagine if she popped off and was like, wow, you're looking a little heavier than usual and you broke a fucking bottle. It was just like, a word? No more!

No more! Like, it's done. You're done. Oh, that brings me to a question I wanted to ask you guys, what happens if there's a couple that you love? They're great friends. You enjoy being with them. But you can't stand their kids.

We've dealt with this a lot. We just have a no-kids policy. Our kids are old enough, like either get a babysitter. You know up front. Get a babysitter. It's an adult only. And then Jennifer had a pool party like two summers ago. And the kids were like teenagers.

And I was having a pool party for adults. And I sent out a text to a certain amount. amount of couples that we like. And one of the ladies responded, hey, I have my kids this weekend. It's my weekend on. Can I bring my kids? And I just responded, no, period. It's adults only, period. That's it. And that's the beauty of getting older because I didn't say, no, I'm sorry, but no, no, no, it's just very simple, direct, straight to the point. No, it's adults only. I don't want to be around the kids. I don't want to see your kids. My kids aren't going to be there. So I should. sure as fuck don't want to see your kids there. And it's at my house. And if I ban my kids,

I'm not making it, you know, an exception for your kids. So I just think, I mean, if you're hanging out with people that are younger and it's younger kids, you just have to say, let's do an adult only thing. Because there are some annoying kids. I remember my son, Dylan, my oldest one, that lives in Syracuse now. He had a friend over. I was like, hey, let's order pizza. And they're probably like eight years old. So I order like Pizza Hut or something. The next thing I know the Pizza Hut comes and this kid has like a stage 12 meltdown that it's not Masio's and he's screaming pitching a fit. I just text his mom and I was just like he's really melting down over the pizza. I think you need to come pick him up. Like I'm not I can't do this. It's too much.

Love that. So good. So good. Okay. Next question from Holden. Hi guys. Love both of you. And I've been listening to the pawns since the beginning. So let's get right into it. I just want to know your general thoughts on location sharing. So I got in a heated argument the other day with one of my friends about sharing locations with our spouses. My husband and I both have each other's locations shared. It seems pretty normal for me. I mean, he travels for work. I am at home with kiddos. But despite that, like, I still think it's pretty normal for your significant other I mean to share a location. So my friend is married to somebody who we have never really liked that much and he

absolutely refuses to share his location with her. And that's just kind of another red flag in my opinion. But just for real, and I'm curious on y'all's thoughts about sharing locations in general. Thanks. Pumps, I think you got some new clients. As she's saying that, I'm thinking the reason he doesn't want her to have his location, is because he's fucking around. I mean, that's the most obvious thing in the world.

Because most people share their location. You kind of have to when your kids get older. Like, they have to know where you are if you're going to know where they are. But yeah, the hiding of the phone, the not sharing the location, that's a huge red flag for I'm playing hide the weaning with someone else. It's also just like the easiest thing to do. Right. Of course share your location.

Like, I hate my phone so much. but I love my phone because it's so, it creates this safety net. Like, if I'm not answering my phone, Claudia knows that I'm not, like, in a ditch somewhere. Like, she can see where I am. And I think it provides a lot of comfort and vice versa. Like, if I haven't heard from her in a few hours and I'll check her location, it's like, oh, she's at the studio. Like, I know exactly where she is and why she hasn't picked up her phone in four hours instead of worrying. So I don't, yeah, for sure, guys cheating, big scumbag.

Leave them. Leave them. Leave them. Ouch. Oh, boy. Okay. And last one from Jen. By the way, the term scumbag, disgusting.

Hey, guys. This is Jen. I listen to you guys every week. Love hearing you and you keep me entertained when I work from home. Quick question. I was in the hospital for about five days. My friends knew it was a pretty intense procedure. It wasn't like a cosmetic thing.

It was something, not like like threatening, but like it had to be. done. And so I was there for five days and some of them live in the city. They didn't try to visit me, which is okay. You know, I don't necessarily need people to come see me in the hospital when I'm like in that bad of a mental state. But once I came back, none of them really offered to even come visit me. So I'm curious what you think about that. Like do you expect your friends if you're in the hospital to come visit you? Do you expect them to come? over after, would you not expect that unless you ask them? I'm just kind of curious what your, like, benchmark is for friends in terms of, like,

having surgeries, medical procedures, that type of thing. Very curious to hear your thoughts. Thanks. She's asking if, when she goes to the hospital, she's in the hospital for five days, none of her friends visited her. She's upset by that. Should she have told her friends to visit? Is that the question?

I think, yeah, just in general, what's the procedure? What should you expect from friends when you're having, When you're in the hospital, when you're having a life event like that, should they visit? Should they check up on you? And should you be mad if they don't? Well, one, I need more information on what the procedure was. Totally. She was in for five days.

No, I know. But like, I don't know. Like, my dad just had back surgery. He's been in for two weeks. So people will, of course, come and see him. But if she had, what's five days? I don't know. Can that be?

She was cryptic. So it was something to do with bowels. Okay. It was something bad. And did she tell her friends that she was having it? Did she say that? Let's assume she did. Okay.

So if you told your friends that you're having something bad, God forbid. And you're going to be in the hospital for an extended period of time, it would certainly be nice for them to come. But I do think that sending flowers, a phone call, a FaceTime. I think that that's fine because it's five days. You can see them when they get home. I personally don't think it's completely necessary for friends. Now, family, if I'm in the hospital for five days,

I would expect that my wife comes to say hi to me. I would think vice versa. But I don't know, friends, call, FaceTime. Sure, it's nice. Maybe send a little food, a little pastrami. But no, I don't know. You? Well, I'd love to hear from you guys first.

I love to hear your thoughts. My thought was how dramatic of a person is this person? Like, is she sick a lot? Does she have emergencies a lot where she requires a lot of attention? Because I don't think it's a, I think the hospital's fine. not going the hospital. I do think a good friend should check in, like, after you get home and take a lasagna or something like that. So that's suspect to me. But you just have to wonder how dramatic is she? Is everything over the top? Is she a hypochondriac? She a hypo. And then was she being

treated for an STD? We don't know the details of this. You know, we don't know. But I will say, I think the best thing you can do as a friend is be a low maintenance friend. Like, I have zero expectation of my friends if I were hospitalized to come see me. Recently a friend of mine was hospitalized and she texted and told me, I was like, hey, I'm free right now. Can I come see you? And she said, yes. And I saw her and, you know, it was great.

But I would have zero expectation for people to come visit me. I mean, one way that I've been able to be this rock solid mentally is, and it is, I have zero expectations of other people because people have been profoundly fucking disappointing. So while she's sitting in the hospital five days, she's sitting there with this expectation. My friends don't like me. My friends don't want to come see me. Eliminate that expectation and you're going to be much happier as my like do not rely on people to meet your emotional needs because they're going to fail miserably. So I'm the exact same way as you. I now have no expectations of people, but I think it does take going through having people let you down being

self-reflective enough to say, I don't need to feel this way. I'm choosing to feel this way because I have such high expectations of other people as if they would do what I do for them. Like, that's not the way that the world works, just because you would, just because I would go and visit my friend in the hospital and bring them a nice hot pastrami sandwich from Second Avenue deli. It doesn't mean that they're going to come and do the same thing for me. And that's totally okay. So I actually think that's fantastic advice. You need to not think about what you do for other people otherwise you're just going to be consistently unhappy. But I will say, I think you're both dead on.

I would say, don't miss an opportunity to go to the hospital for a friend. Hear me out. If I hear you're in the hospital, I go, yes. Because, first of all, I love hospitals. I love commissaries. I love orderlies. I love people in scrubs.

Secondly, I know that if I visit you in the hospital, I don't got to return your calls for six months. Because imagine you're bitching about me to a friend and you're going, this guy doesn't call me back. I've called him like six times over the last three months. And they go, I know. That sucks. I mean, it's not like it's the kind of guy who would visit you in the hospital, right?

And you go, actually, he did. He did. And they go, sounds like a good guy. I mean, if you take a friend to the airport, if you help a friend move, if you visit them in the hospital, you're good six months to a year. You don't have to have dinner with them, see them, talk to them. Is that why you sent my dad an edible arrangement in the hospital? I knew you'd remember.

And who does it like an edible arranged? He loved it. He loved it. God, those chocolate-covered strawberries. He loved them. I'm so excited. This is a true collab because now we are going to go be guests on your incredible podcast. I've had it.

So make sure there's going to be a link in the description of this episode. Yes. Is there anything else that you guys are. like to promote any upcoming projects, anything that our audience should be aware of? So we just have the pod every Tuesdays and Thursdays, but we are on the hot shit tour because that's not as reference to me as it is to the star of our show, who is pumps.

And people have called her the Princess Diana podcasting. And as you can tell from this past hour that we've spent together, that you've seen who the true shining star is. So you can come see her on the hot shit tour, and you can hit our link in bio. I do this. like how mad she is at me. So ridiculous.

They call us the doughty fiance of podcastings. Oh, man. Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys so much. You guys are amazing. And before we wrap, Sprit Society, Passion Fruit is out today, guys. So go shopspiritsociety.com.

Passion fruit. Actually use code. I've had it. I-V-E-H-A-D-I-T for 15% off. So Passion Fruit. Ladies, if you'd like some, I'm happy to send it to you. Our wine-based sparkling cocktails, they are absolutely shifts kiss.

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but it's a myriad of places. And ladies, thank you again. This was great. And we hope to see you soon. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.