Good News York by Growth Mode Content - GNY 28. Be Kind

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

Spreading Kindness and Mental Health Awareness in Ithaca In this episode of Good News York, the host discusses the excitement around NFL draft day and welcomes special guests, including longtime friend and bandmate Daryl Harrington from Be Kind Ithaca, as well as Sandra Sorenson from NAMI Finger Lakes, and Samantha Shoemaker from Free Hugs Ithaca. The conversation delves into Daryl's journey of creating Be Kind Ithaca, a grassroots initiative that began with making wooden heart signs during the pandemic and has since grown into a nonprofit organization promoting kindness and mental wellness. Sandra shares her personal story of coping with her husband's bipolar disorder and subsequent suicide, emphasizing the support she found through NAMI's family-to-family classes. Samantha talks about the impact and emotional rewards of the Free Hugs Ithaca initiative. They all highlight the importance of mental health support, community connections, and upcoming events like the NAMI walk in May. The episode concludes with a fun anecdote about attending a recent Metallica concert and a sneak peek of the host's Buffalo Bills-themed music video. 00:00 Welcome to Good News York 00:30 Special Guests Introduction 01:52 The Origin of 'Be Kind' 03:00 Spreading Kindness During the Pandemic 04:46 Be Kind's Growth and Impact 10:32 Free Hugs Ithaca Collaboration 20:51 Starting a New Perspective 21:37 Mental Health Advocacy and Personal Struggles 22:47 Introduction to NAMI Finger Lakes 23:10 Personal Journey with NAMI 25:50 Becoming Executive Director of NAMI Finger Lakes 27:31 Collaborations and Community Events 32:01 Support for Caregivers and Mental Health Awareness 36:35 The Sophie Fund and Community Impact 42:41 Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events

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Hello, good morning and welcome to Good News York. My favorite day of Good News York Thursday, because it's our last day. And the weekend is coming. I am extra excited because it is draft day. Obviously, I did the draft special yesterday. If you haven't seen it, check it out. GoodnewsYork.com. It's where all our episodes are.

I'm a big draft dork, so very excited about tonight. but I'm even more excited because I am joined today by some very, very, very special guests. One being my best friend and former, well, still bandmate, Darrell Harrington of Be Kind. And he is also joined along with Sandra Sorensen from Nami Finger Lakes and Samantha Shoemaker from Freehugs, Ithaca. And I am so glad you guys are here. Thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having us.

Well, of course. Well, not you. But Darrell and I, I mean, Darrell, when I, you know, you use that term loosely, like, oh, they're like a brother. They're like a sister. He really is like a brother. I mean, when you play in a band with somebody, it's a, it's a different experience, different bond. It is. You know, that it lasts forever.

And then we also hang out, which we're going to talk about the Metallica show in Q's at the dome before the end of this episode. We went together. So we'll talk about that. But let's talk about you guys and why you're here. First of all, I thought it was hilarious that the irony. of you, you walked in, Samantha, wearing your free hugs Ithaca shirt. She introduces herself and I shake her hand. And then like 30 seconds on by, I was like, why didn't I hug you?

That's the dumbest thing I could have done. But welcome. So, Darrell, let's talk about first, be kind and how this started because, I mean, I know how it started. I witnessed it. And it's just pretty amazing from my point of view as your friend to watch what it's become. And as you can see, here I'll hold these up. Those are, yeah, our new window clings. Window clings.

A portion goes to Nami. So, yeah, Daryl, so let's talk about, let's go back to how you came about with the idea and how it started. So we're, it's shut down, just happened. And you know my wife well. I do. My wife's very solid, not much rattles her. She's got a funny little horn, apparently, E, they do a truck to track the trailer.

There it is. Yep. And so anyways, we were, at this point, I was in therapy for stuff, which we'll get into. Sure. So I, yeah, had different tools in the box from calming down. She got really stressed from the whole shutdown, and she ran through her light.

It was two, actually. I was like, okay, switch and, you know, got her. We got home, did some breathing stuff. And when I got home throughout the next day or so, I was like, man, there's got to be a lot of people freaking out. Like a lot. Which there was. I mean, I knew there were. I was like, I want to do something.

I want to say something. But I was like, I'm not doing it on social media. I mean, you know, it depends. You never know what you're going to get. You could post the nicest thing on social media. Someone's like, go to that. So anyways, I was like, you know, lots of wood. I do woodworking and stuff.

So I was like, I'm going to make. make a huge heart and hanging on my fence. We live on this busy corner. I don't know what I'm going to put on it. And I was like, okay, well, you know, kindness or be sweet or, you know, love or, you know, so I was like, well, be kind. It's simple. I didn't know what I was doing. I make this huge heart. I took, because we got all the time in the world, I took Christmas lights and took every other bulb out and put a red and white one, red and white one around the whole thing. And then put a big spotlight on it and I was like if one person drives by and it helps them decompress or just smile that's it and by the way it works too because you live like right on a busy road

where there's a complete traffic constant takes me two hours and and he put it up on this fence that faces the road and we're talking I mean it's it's like you know the size of this whole wall here it's four foot by six it's massive yeah and so you put it up yep and so my neighbor I live next the Dolcee Delight. Hi, Maria. Great restaurant. Best breakfast sandwiches in Ithaca. Yeah, if you're in town, go.

Best breakfast sandwiches. And she called me and she said one of my friends was having a tough time and she drove by and saw it and smile. Oh, man. And I go, cool. It just paid for itself right there. That's the whole reason I did it. And that was it. And then about, I don't know, four or five days later, Maria started texting me and goes, hey, I want one for my.

corner. So that was the first one that went in the ground. We put it in the ground and cool. That's it. And then she goes, I think you should start selling them. And I go, absolutely not. I was like, you're crazy. Everybody's losing their jobs.

Our pets are falling up. She nicely, she's like a sister-vee. She nicely, we went back and forth and back and forth. And she goes, okay. She's like, make me ten of them. Tell me what they cost and I had no clue what I was doing. And I just used scrapwood and stuff. Gave her 10 and she handed them out.

And here we are five years later. Made over 2,000 shipped them all over the United States. Some of many different countries from Scotland, England, Ireland. So rewind a little bit in the beginning too. So when, well, the price of wood went up. So I ran out of scrap. I had to start charging for them. I like keeping them at a price that everybody can afford them.

Of course. And so as that was happening, people started buying them. People just kind of started, oh, here's an extra $5 and stuff. And everything was paid for. And this isn't a money-making thing. So I just put it in a pot and started donating to different organizations. So then that became its own thing. And throughout the years, we had different, like our wristbands go to the Portuguese.

goes SBCA, our window clings, a portion goes to Nami, our key chains, a portion goes to the downtown of the Good Children Center. We've donated to different, in Tennessee when they had that big flood. We donated to that. We donated to stuff. So it's not just local. It's all over the place. So we've gotten to donate thousands of thousands of dollars through that. And then throughout all that, now we're just like steps away from becoming an officially nonprofit. I got one of the numbers. So yeah, so always. You also now have programs coming that we have in the works of that will be one is, looking forward to when our first legs is for, I have a friend, he's a personal trainer,

he's going to run this. It's not me. And it's not Mike, like does train. Yeah. And it'll be for seniors like exercise classes. Nice. It helps them keep them moving and stuff. A lot of people forget about the seniors.

and the seniors need to keep moving. You know, it's, dude, I'm, you know, this is a little different than, you know, when we interview people that do incredible things because you're one of my best friends. So like, it touches me personally to see, because I know who you are. I know your heart, you know, we share a lot of that.

And to see what you do for everybody, but also to see it growing. I mean, buddy, dude, I drive around all over the place. I've been in far corners of New York State and I'm like, what the? That's a be kind. That's my butt. And then, you know, I see on your website, which, by the way,

Darryl Harrington here, Be Kind, I see there's people, there's people like posting, like, from different states, right? Different countries? Yeah, yeah. So what a picture of the Blarney Stone in Ireland? Yeah, it's nuts. And now you, where, or what things do,

so you make this, it started with the signs, which I used to love. by the way. Talk about starting out grassroots style. You could drive by your house and on your front porch there'd be a line of like 15 upside down be kind signs drying. What do you make in addition to the signs? And you also customize them too, right? So the signs like, yeah, we do all custom. Pretty much anything you want. I hand paint them. They're hand-painted. So it takes, we do them per order. It takes a while. Like there's a lot of steps when I started it. It wasn't It's supposed to turn into this, which is great.

I'm not complaining. That's what makes it cooler. But we weren't, like, the making of them is really not efficient time. He'd take a long time to make. Yeah. Would I build them the last thing? But, yeah, I do custom stuff. I just did a...

It was for a friend. It's a house divided Bengals bill slash... Oh. Yeah. Wow. So, yeah, we do... They better be kind. It's cool, because I like the challenge on them.

Yeah, yeah. Like, okay. You made one for me. It's a, it's a bills one that we have in our front yard. You know, it's such a simple sentiment, but, you know, you could say maybe the timing was a little weird with the pandemic. I thought the timing was perfect because, boy, are we in a time when we need to be kind? Because there's not a lot of it.

That's it. There is, but it's being overshadowed by all the negativity on social media. Totally. Totally. And the one thing, for me personally, it changed my outlook on humanity because at that time, I thought everybody was angry and it's not. There's, this is my, I've said this for years now. I've met the most amazing people.

And they're all the ones behind the scenes. Yeah. That just, I say one out of ten people, you take one out of ten. One's not a nice person. Those over nine are just amazing people you never, ever hear about. And they do just, I would have never met all these people. Yeah. I would have never.

I know. These people were just, we are going to get some of the most amazing women in my life. I've met them and I already can tell they're amazing and again we have Sandra Sorensen here from Nami Finger Lakes and Samantha Shoemaker from Freehugs, Ithaca. I do want to talk about how this all came together but I want to mention you know another thing I love about Be Kind is we went to the Metallica concert at the dome this past weekend

and something I loved watching you do is when we interacted with somebody and had like a good interaction, pulled a be kind stick around. He said, thanks for being kind. I thought that was so fucking cool, man. Like, uh,

I think, I think that's more effective than anything because it's a, it's a face to face interaction and you're giving them, it's just, you don't see a lot of it. And I, and I, I really love that,

um, about you. I do, I, I tried to put this in my standup bit once. I never, I never kind of turned it into a bit. But do you remember when we,

talk about, we were on the road with the band and this is kind of how I knew that Darrell was going to succeed with this be kind thing is because it's first of all it's this is inspired by everything you talked about but also you and I have had our mental health struggles and we

helped each other a lot we went Mike is he got me to go to therapy well you got yourself to go to therapy I just told you about it yeah you took you some pounding on me for years well good way like he's like hey man I think you need some therapy I do not eat therapy but it was it was from a place of I love you but also I

recognized the you were doing the things I was doing and I knew that there was help and I think it from knowing you the amount of time I think it was the greatest thing you've ever done other than Mary Jackie you're listening to a podcast

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Even with just 10 listeners a month. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start free at RSS.com. Would be, I have to say that, she'll kill me. No Hey John No I think that was one of the most important

Decisions and moves of your life I think I don't know if this would have came along If you had it won't You know But the joke I used to say is When we were wherever we were And I remember

Thinking Shit Darrell I go I'm glad this B-Kind thing's taken off I go But What's gonna happen When someone's nasty with you over the phone Like you can't be nasty

You're gonna have to just eat shit Like, you know, customer service is tough at Be Kind, Ithaca, because how are you going to turn around and be like, well, screw you out? That's not. And that happened. We talked about this because I had a job. I was working in the delivery from, I'm not going to say which one to lumber was not put in. And I got people there getting paid waiting to unload. And I call and I go, hey, and I'm like this.

And I pull my car down and says, Be Kind, Ithaca. I was like, so what can we do? It's tough. It's tough. But it does. Exactly. But I am no saying, believe me. So now we know the basis of how Bekind started.

And when I, you know, asked you to come on the show, you said you were going to bring some friends. Again, we have Sandra Sorensen from Nami Finger Lakes and Samantha Shoemaker from Freehugs, Ithaca. Welcome. Thank you for being here. How did, uh, how did the, this three of you. come together. Let's start there. How did this become a team? So, Samantha contacted me. She gets a bunch of bunch of, sure we hear you. Baby hearts. And coincidentally, she lives in my hometown, which we didn't know back then, but, you know, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to see my parents. I'll drop

them off, you know. So then one day she sent me a video and she goes, hey, I do this kind of stuff. and she's from Rochester. Nice. And there's this video of her doing free hugs at Lilac Vest with a videographer that followed them around. And they hug people. It's the coolest thing. And I go, why don't we start doing this inithka? You're in Ethica.

And we met, it was funny the first time. So we went to Apple Fest. I was with Jack. I go, I don't even know what she looks like. I don't know who I'm looking for. Right. I'm just looking for a free hugs person, right? It's hugging random people.

And this is like way outside my box to sit on the commons and hug thousands of people with signs, right? Bend Ethica, that's a real risk, because you don't know what you're doing in. And that's what you think. But it's, I mean, people would, you know. Yeah. Oh, my God. Who would happen?

Yeah. So anyways, it was one of the coolest things. I, it was like a dopamine high. Is that what it is? Oh, I mean, they do say there are studies that they say hugging for, I think they even have it down to like eight to ten seconds releases like, you know, whatever it is, serotonin. Is it 20 seconds?

Got to hang in there. You got to really make it awkward? Wow. Sorry, we're making this awkward, but I got to get the ultimate. You would be surprised how long 20 seconds. I know. Well, no comment. But anyway,

Sorry You know One of my favorite music videos of all time Is the Dave Matthews band Everyday video Do you know about this? Because in the video I forget the comedic actor's name

He walks around New York City And he's just hugging everybody And I get goosebumps when I think about it Because it's just so Not only hugging other people gives you dope meme I think watching other people hug He's literally just going up to random strangers.

So when you told me about Samantha and free hugs, I was like, I'm in love with this idea just based on that video. So did you get inspiration from that? Or is it just like, oh, I was in college and I had, I saw the original guy. I never can remember his name when I put on the spot, but out west. And he started to see these videos circulating around social media. and then one of my college co-eds put a video on his on his socials and I was like, wait a second, where did you go?

Thinking somehow they were linked, like forgetting that it's actually a large world here. Yeah. Yeah, no, he just did it on his own and decided to videotape it. And that's it. Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And it took me, that was in like 2013 or 14. Miles out.

Thank you very much. and I started doing it in Rochester by the time I finally got the plan in order. It was 2016. Then we started making shirts 2017. We had a little hookup at the pandemic, but we handed out cards for that one, little business cards that said free hugs. Yeah, it just turned into a thing. We'd go to the Lilac Festival the first Saturday of every year, and it got bigger and bigger and bigger. Well, I can imagine.

you felt an immediate rewarding. Like just after the first hug, you were probably like, it must be rewarding. And on top of that, did you get any instant feedback or do you get any instant feedback of like, hey, I needed that? Oh, yes.

Or has anyone gotten emotional? Oh, yeah. All the time. So we have two rules, and one is you don't let go until they do. And if they're talking, you listen. And that's it. That's the only rule.

Well, the third, you know, hidden rule would be don't use your cell phone or not. Do any of that. Right. But, yeah, so we always had two rules and that we would say it at the beginning and, you know, just kind of remind people if they, you know, maybe a new hugger might notice. They might make a face because someone said something. You know, and you just kind of remind them, hey, you know, we're just here to listen. And it really, so much feedback. So one of them, I got, I had this huge guy coming at me.

And I'm, and he's like, oh, no. And he hugs me And then he was like, you don't even understand How much I needed this In a college time when we're hugging Like a lot of the college student say like My parents are so far away

And I don't get hugs anymore The one said they missed her And we bring Miggie with us a lot And she wears a thing Our dog, Miggies are our black lab In case people don't want to hug us And the dog, Miggies always like The kids just make

They're so touched by this They can hug her I would like to make clear, though, that I only sent Daryl the video out of a very grave thank you for those hearts. He was like my hero before. I saw, I watched it grow. He thinks it's so silly, but I'm so serious. I watched it grow a little by little. And then I've seen more hearts.

I'm like, I need to get, it was my Christmas. That was what I asked for, yes, Santa for Christmas. And I asked for a be kind of heart. And I finally got it. I said, oh, my gosh, I couldn't even talk. I was like, awesome hugs. And like, like meeting a celebrity? Like what I do?

I do. Yeah, it was really just need being a fan girl. That's awesome. Yeah. So free hugs, Ithaca, be kind, Ithaca. What, I mean, how do I word this? What's the business model? So you, obviously, you go to events, you give out free hugs, and you sell merchandise?

Let's talk about what? It's a dollar to let go. It's a dollar to let go. It'd be funny if someone's like, I don't have any cash only. And you got to say cash only. so then you've got to walk with them to the ATM. Yeah. So you're just walking down and going to an ATM together.

That's how I... Embrace. But no, what is... So talk about Freehugsithica. We can go to the website or the Facebook page. And what's coming up? What do you do? So, I mean, it's...

For me, it's still very new and just getting to learn all the resources like Nami is a huge one for us. I mean, I have a friend who works... in her basement and she makes shirts and I've never sold them before I've always just given them away and like you said the event got bigger and bigger so now I've got an inventory sure can't feel guilty about that I mean it gets to a point they're going through the same thing it just means you're succeeding and yeah you know I think people are are happy to pay well and he gave me the great idea you know

just to start doing it and it really because it isn't free and your time's not free and just kind of put a little bit of different personally different perspective on it and And, you know, now I have places that I like to donate to, Sophie Fund and NAMI whenever we can. You know, I'm not really selling many shirts that don't market myself well. But Facebook, Facebook, I'm at Facebook, Freehugs, Ithaca. And we're building a square website. Nice. I just don't know what I'm doing.

So it's just a little slow process. That's all right. Nami. Yes. Sandra Sorensen also here. I am a little bit aware of Nami. I'm just, I mean, if ever there was a time, it might be now, it may as well be now. I have struggled with mental health my entire life.

And as you know, it ebbs and flows. You know, there's time periods where you're like, you're on the men, you're doing great. And then there's times when you're going through a lot. And sometimes it doesn't have to be. Sometimes it's not tangible at all. It's just, you know, the chemicals and who knows. So I've always been a huge advocate for mental health awareness. And, you know, we've gotten to a place now where it seems like it's working.

You know, it's out there. There's like better help and all these things. And people are open and talking about it. I went through a lot of childhood trauma. And I didn't realize that. I mean, I kind of knew. but I didn't realize how much that played a role. So all that to say, it means a lot what all three of you do,

but specifically, you know, I love NAMI and National Alliance on Mental Illness, by the way, is what it stands for. And you're part of NAMI Finger Lakes. Let's talk about that little bit. Tell us a little bit about the organization and how you got involved. Yeah.

So NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. It's a national organization. there are over 700 local affiliates across the country. All of the affiliates are grassroots organization. So National doesn't plant affiliates. It's just somebody has a heart to start a NAMI and they do. So my first involvement with NAMI was when my husband was suffering with bipolar illness. And things were just really hard.

And I heard about this class called Family to Family, which is one of Nami's signature class. and it's for caregivers, people that are caring for somebody that has mental illness. And I was just kind of at my end, so I was like, it can't hurt. So I took this class. And when you go into taking a class like that, you're thinking like you're going to get solutions, right? Like I have this problem. Someone's going to tell me what to do.

There's some magical thing out there that I didn't know already. And what you end up with when you take Anami family family is you're in a space, either virtual or in a basement. in my case, we're in a church basement, and there was like 20 people in the class. And the whole program is somebody reading information to you. And like, if someone had told me that's what it was ahead of time, I would have been like, that is not what I knew. Yeah. But like once a week, like I had a crazy household, five kids and a husband who is like in

depression for nine months at a time. Like a sk-you're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're in the podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at RSS.com.

Daping to this little basement once a week and being immersed in someone just reading to me, like it was so soothing and the sharing that happened in that group just created like a really strong community and it was exactly what I needed at that time like it really fueled me and empowered me to be able to like create boundaries and take care of myself which is something that I had never learned and how to like be sustained in this um this relationship so fast forward pandemic came and then my husband in May of 21 actually died by suicide which was like really traumatizing I had had no connection with NAMI between the family to family class and that incident. And when that happened, I was an executive director of an organization that was

housing homeless men in transition. And I left that job to like just figure out life for a year and like take care of my children. And when I was ready to reenter the workforce, I started looking for jobs. And it was really challenging because I have this gap that I have to explain. So I was like going through like leadership coaching on how to like account for this and like interviews and stuff without like trauma dumping on people. So so I like finally felt well trained. I had my cover letter done. I had practiced interview questions with my leadership coaching.

And then I found this job from Nami. And I was like, oh my gosh, I don't even have to like not tell my story because that's what people at Nami do. So like right in my cover letter I was able to like share that and that felt so comfortable. And I didn't expect to get the job. But I did, and so I became the executive director of Nomi Finger Lakes in September of 23. And it was literally like a week later, I was at an event for the Sophie Fund. And I was terrified to be there. It's like a suicide prevention event.

I didn't know if I was ready. Like I was like going to get triggered. It's going to bring up a lot of- The new executive director and I'm there like bawling or like having a little moment. And so I'm like trying to compose myself the whole time and be professional. And I was like taking a break from the. talking like I was trying not to listen to it because it was triggering so I was walking around and I came to Daryl's table and um I loved like the whole be kind heart thing and I was like oh my gosh my youngest

daughter will just love this I bought a t-shirt for her for Christmas because I Christmas shop so far ahead of time and so we started a conversation super quick just like casual and then Daryl was speaking at that event which I didn't know so um Daryl got up and shared his story and it was so touching to like I had like lived with a man who was like so afraid of stigma and never was able to get through the pride to get the help that he needed or to share his story. And so the fact that a man was standing up there sharing his story was so powerful to me. And the event ended and we're all cleaning up. And like my friend was like, come on, come on, come on, come on. And I was like, I got to go talk to this guy.

I got to go talk to this guy. Right. And so like I ran over and I was like, I so appreciate you sharing your story. And he was like, it's the first time I've ever shared my story. I remember you pauling me about how nervous you were. And I was like, oh my gosh, it touched me so much. Like, that was like the most important part of my day. Like, that was so important to me.

And so that just kind of sparked a friendship that has just never ended. So, like, we started collaborating on events together. And so every time we have something, Be Kind comes. One thing that Daryl did with another friend of ours who owns a coffee shop is they made be kind coffee blend and proceeds of that came to nami so we did like a pop-up like valentine's day self-love kind of event for people that you know don't like the valentine's day romance part of the thing and and Samantha came and that's when i met her and that was really fun and then i started hugging with samantha and darrell and now look at you the three amiga so the cool thing about

nomi is that um we don't have social degree social work degrees we're not psychiatrist or not therapist. You have real like experience. We have lived experience. That's better than any degree. Instead of sharing with a at a head level, we shared a heart level, which is like a perfect combination with like the be kind heart. And so it's just like a beautiful way to like connect with people and just like hear them

and listen to them and let them know that they're not alone. That is amazing. First of all, who I'm deeply touched by your story and I really, I know what it must. take for you to have to, you know, dig down and relive that just to talk about it. And maybe in some ways it's healing. I know sometimes it can be. But I'd thank you for being open about that. That's a tough, I mean, there's nothing, there's nothing tougher, you know.

I've lost a handful of people at this point in my life who died by suicide. And it is, my God, it is, it's something that I don't, I don't wish on my worst enemy. I, uh, because, you know, it's a, what do they say? It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a long term solution for a short term problem. And then you're left thinking, what could I have done? I should have known, you know, all the. And, and you hear that. And then it happens to you and you find yourself actually saying those things.

And I could have helped if I, and, and you, the truth is, it was going to happen whether or not, you know, it's just, it is what it is. but it's so hard to recover from that. And I must, I imagine that this, in a way, not even in a way, this, this is part of your recovery, I would imagine, right? This is, I feel like he's with you all the time, right? When you're out there advocating for this stuff. I think one of the, one of the greatest, like, blessings of Nami for me has been, like, it's hard to go back to work and, like, try to put on a professional persona. and pretend like things that happened to you didn't happen,

which would have been the case if I had taken any other job, right? I would not be sharing my story. It just would be this like hidden thing. So one of the biggest blessings is like the support that came from like all of the staff and volunteers like in the lived experience. So it was like entering in like a built in family. Yeah. Of supporters, built in friends.

And like it's not like me telling my story and not. having to hide from it is healing for me. Yeah. And it helps other people too. And so it's just so cool that like I get to go through this part of my journey and be able to make a living and like pay for my house. So happy. I mean it's I want to use a phrase, you know, we're not making light of this situation.

But it is an ideal situation and that if you are to go through something as traumatic as that, you're right. I think the hardest part for anybody who is, a survivor of someone who's died by suicide is having to go on with life and have the energy and the mental ability to just operate on a daily basis. So being in that environment must be so, like you can be yourself. And if you're having a bad day, you don't feel like you have to hide it. I think that's so important.

I think, you know, I don't, I don't, you know, whether it's the God or the universe, whatever it is, I think they put you in that position for a reason. Yeah. So Nami Finger Lakes. Yes. You can go, was it NamiFingerlakes.com or just Google namifenghis.org. Dot org. Yeah, Namifingerlakes.

Nog. And so what, I'm someone who's struggling or maybe I know someone who's struggling. When is the right time to reach out to Nami? In what situation? So our basic mission is we support, advocate and educate and mental health. And our focus is mostly on caregivers, which we define very. loosely. So it can be like spouses and partners, friends, but it can also be coaches, teachers, first responders. So we have a peer support program that we're just about to launch that's for

first responders. And it's actually our only like peer support. So people that are actually struggling with mental health supporting each other. Our other support groups are for people caring for people that have mental illness. So we have a family support group. Almost like an Al-Anon. Like the way what Alonanon is to someone who's, you know, struggling with a family member who's an alcohol, kind of the same idea. Exactly. It's for the people on the other side. Yeah.

Which is really a cool niche. Like in Tompkins County, which is we serve Tompkins and Cortland County. And in Tompkins County, like, there are a lot of nonprofits that are working with people that are struggling with mental health issues. A lot of peer support programs. But we're one of the few that do things for caregivers. And like taking care of caregivers Ininvertently takes care of the people that are struggling with mental health And so it's just kind of it's a real blessing to be able to do that

Because there's a different sense of loss and hopelessness When you're close to somebody and you don't know what to do And there's nobody to talk to or that understands what's going on Oh God I love this that that's wonderful because you know Even for what I'm going through you know without getting too personally, you know, I have these days or weeks where I'm really going through some things.

And I'm thankful because of therapy that I've built this self-awareness and I can kind of tell when something's going on. And I always make sure to say, you know, I thank my wife or I say, I'm sorry, you know, that I'm a little off today or this week. You know, because she doesn't understand it

because she doesn't go through it And that's not her fault. And I'm glad, obviously. I don't want her to go through. I don't want anyone to go through that. But it makes you realize, like, you know, you think I'm struggling. I'm struggling. No one knows what I'm going through.

Well, guess what? You know, my wife is going through. She's on the other end of it. My kids, you know. So it's funny. We talk about mental health awareness and how we all need to go get help. But, you know, we don't think about, not intentionally, but we don't think about the other side, the people on the other end of it. So I just think that's so wonderful that you guys take that step to help the people in the families.

Yeah, one of our most attended in regular support groups is our spouse and partner. So it's people living with a spouse or partner that has mental illness. It's amazing. It's just really powerful to be able to have that connection with other people that are going through the same thing as do. Yeah, I was talking about this not long ago on the show. I quit drinking in 2020. and I was told by other friends that had quit drinking. Like, you should think about going to AA.

And like mental health, for me, there was a stigma around. I was, I'm not going to eight. Like, I don't need rehab. I don't need AA. I quit. I'm good. They're like, no, no, no. You're missing the point.

It's just being around other people who have been through what you've been through. There's just tremendous reward in that. Even if you're not, like, I know I'm never going to drink a sip of alcohol again. You know, I'm lucky in that, you know, some people don't, you know, know, they ride that line where they, they, they worry about real, I'm not worried about going back to it. Um, so I thought, oh, I don't need a, A. No, it's more about like, oh, wait, you, you, you had that weird thought too or you had crazy sugar craving. And it's just, it's a sense of community and a sense of, hey, I'm not on this island by myself, right? Right. Yeah. Exactly. And it's just,

that's absolutely wonderful. You guys completely embody what this show is about, you know, we started good New York as, you know, a show that just sheds positive light on every region of New York, Adirondex, Central New York, New York City. And, you know, not all puppies and rainbows. You know, we, we have fun and there's comedy, but we really want to focus on the positive things. And this is just about as positive as it gets. And, you know, I'm so thankful for people like you guys, you know, that do this for people. And especially nowadays, I keep hearing that you guys mentioned the Sophie Fund. Yeah.

And I feel like we should kind of talk about that real quick. Yeah. Darrell, you started with the Sophie Fund, right? Through Be Kind. So this is a funny story. So years ago, Jackie got asked by a friend. They do an annual cupcake contest.

And they have judges and they, everybody is amazing. The cupcakes, you can't be a professional. They're just regular people make things. Cupcake. It's amazing. Amazing. Amazing. You're like, how do people even think about doing that to a cupcake? And I'm in. So I'm in. Years ago, I forget, one of our friends was involved with it and they needed judges. So they asked Jack, who loves cupcakes, my wife, to judge. And coincidentally, and this is my own personal thing, after going to what I went through, it's the first time ever I, I was in public and I felt well.

And there's a picture of me sitting right in that area where she was judging the cupcakes. And I remember when I see that picture and I go, oh my God, that was like the first day in my life. I felt good. And I was like in public and not a mess. Isn't that the best? It was bad. That pictures. But coincidentally, I didn't know what the Sophie fun was then.

And she got asked to judge these cupcakes. So years later, when we started. and I was looking at different things. I reached out to, we were doing, we were making Christmas ornaments for Be Kind of my parents that are old, elderly, older, elderly, if you're listening, elder. Elder, old.

Seasons. And so they'd make these ornaments. So I reached out to Scott through my therapist, Jeep. I talked to Jeep, and he knew Scott, so I got Scott's info. Scott is the Scott and his wife are the directors of the Sophie Fun. And I reached out to him about selling them. And he, we got talking. I told my story, talked about Be Kind and everything.

And he was the one that said, would you be willing to come and speak at the next cupcake eating contest? So that's where we met. No way. And yeah, so the Sophie Funds amazing. they do amazing stuff. We Bekind Donates every year through our sales and other stuff

as well as Samantha does and we like to promote them as much as we can. What is the Sophie Fund exactly? Do you want me to do you know? Yeah. So Scott's daughter, Sophie, was a Cornell student and she died by suicide and he lives in Pennsylvania

but he and his wife started the Sophie Fund to advocate for better mental health, preventative care, especially on the Cornell campus. And he got really entrenched in, like, the Tompkins County organizations, nonprofit organizations. And so he started like the bullying team.

Task course, right, in Tompkins County. And like they raise a lot of money and donate to nonprofits that are doing mental health work. Nomi's on a task force with Sophie Fund and American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and suicide crisis. And we're doing a huge project right now trying to get mental health education into the local schools. Oh, please. So combined together, we have like a bigger force than like if we were just all trying to go individually.

So Scott's just like a champion and like gathering everyone together to try to make a real difference. Like he's a doer more than a talker and he's just doing incredible things in Tompkins County. It's just absolutely wonderful I can't thank you guys enough for being here Before we wrap though I just want to prove that Darrell and I, we really are like brothers You can see right behind me

We played in a band together See right on the far right How sexy you are there The band was the New York rock I mean technically it never really broke up We're just kind of done indefinitely right now But I don't want to say former band But yeah there's us

But here's something people don't know before Daryl was in the band he was actually part of a BG's tribute band Buddy I found that in my phone this morning I don't remember what it's from but someone photoshopped you as Barry Gibb or something I tried to find the one of you in the tutu

and I couldn't find it Did you go to Joe Dirt? No I couldn't find that either Oh that was a bad I just that Joe Drenle it someone did it And then real quick before we go Harold and I did go to the Metallica concert this past weekend and

we had such a funny observation And so many funny observations. One being, it's so much different going as an adult. Because I had this tremendous anxiety that I, last time I went to see Metallica was 20 years ago. I thought there was going to be shirtless dudes sweating and banging their head into me like it used to be. And I looked around during the concert and everybody, I'm like, oh wait, I got older and so did that. Like the crowd was docile. I was like, it's just so sad.

springs to see heavy metal musicians and rappers age out. It's just you never thought it was going to happen. But it was a great time. It was a phenomenal show. Yeah, it was great. I mean, obviously it was funny because Mike and I, we used to joke because we'd go Chicago or whatever, and we'd be excited about playing in Chicago and Cleveland and everything. We had great runs, but then we joke and I go, you know, I love playing.

It's car rides. Yeah. That's the best part. Car rides were the best. thing were just flew by. If we could have recorded our conversation, well, we might be arrested. But riding in the band van, man, that was the best. Well, listen,

I wish we had more time. I cannot thank you guys enough. I'm definitely going to be hugging you. Daryl Harrington from Be Kind, Ithaca. We've got Sandra Sorensen from Nami Finger Lakes, NamiFingrelakes.org and, of course, Samantha Shoemaker from Freehugs, Ithaca.

You can Google it, find them all online. You guys embody what this show is about. I love you so much. Thank you for your time. Any last minute plugs, anything coming up to want to plug? We are all going to be at Nomi's third annual Nami walks on May 3rd. Great. 3 o'clock p.m. at Stewart Park.

In I will be there. You could wear a hug shirt and hug people. So we will have a, what we do is on the route. We have a tent. And as everybody comes through, that's amazing. Hug and hand out stickers. That's amazing. I will. And I'll make sure I have all this info and we'll throw it up on the screen.

and put it in all our social media clips. Perfect. And we'll definitely promote that. I absolutely love you guys. Darrell, Sandra, Samantha. Man, keep doing what you're doing. It's so important. All right.

And with that, we are going to head out for the weekend because this is the last show of the week. It is Draft Day. Okay. So in honor of Draft Day, I have a little side project called The K-Gun. Yeah, my buddy and I record songs about the Buffalo Bills, and we recorded and shot a music video called Where Else, Marv's Anthem, if you're a Bill's fan, you know what that means. And we shot the video at the home opener,

and it's just an anthem for Bill's Mafia, so I'm going to play that as we roll out of here. God bless you all. Have a great weekend. We'll see you Monday. Mike Brindisi out. Isn't that what Brian Seacrest says? Ryan Sechreuss.

Have a good weekend. Where else we're gonna rather be?