Good News York by Growth Mode Content - GNY Ep 23 Feat. Kate Houck From David's Refuge

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Uplifting Caregivers: Kate Houck and the Mission of David's Refuge In this episode of Good News York, hosts Matt and Matthew are joined by Kate Houck, the inspiring leader of David's Refuge. Kate discusses the organization's mission to support caregivers of children with special needs through their respite and wellness programs. She shares the touching origin story of David's Refuge, founded by a couple who lost their son to a rare genetic disease, and highlights the impactful services they offer to caregivers in New York State. The conversation also covers the emotional struggles faced by caregivers, the importance of mental health support, and upcoming fundraising events supporting the cause. Join us to learn about the incredible work being done to uplift and empower caregivers and their families. 00:00 Introduction and Hosts' Banter 00:27 Special Guest Introduction 00:53 Coconut Water Discussion 02:16 David's Refuge Overview 05:25 Personal Stories and Impact 06:47 Programs and Services 10:40 Community and Growth 12:17 Creating a Supportive Community 13:33 David's Legacy and Mission 14:40 Upcoming Fundraising Events 16:47 Mental Health Support for Caregivers 18:23 National Caregiver Awareness Month 21:28 Expanding Services and Future Goals 23:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

You're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at RSS.com. Hey folks, welcome to Good News York.

I'm Matt Major from Growth Mode Tech, joined as always by my handsome, Spiky Hair co-host. I'm handsome? Thank you. Here's good spiky. No, thank you, Matthew. I don't know about handsome, but I'll take it. I'm excited because we have a special guest.

And, you know, to be honest, she is kind of bringing your points up just because you're close to get. Well, obviously. I mean, I'm a thorn. Between two roses, right? Absolutely. I'm excited to be here. Thanks for having me. Refuge is here.

How are you? I'm very content and happy today, honestly. That's how I'm feeling. Yeah, you guys feel in the same way? That's the best answer ever. I mean, I got a cranky this morning, and then you showed up, and it was like you brought a wave of coconut water and sunshine. Coconut water.

She does that. Kate knows a lot about coconut water we found. I asked her a question I was expecting just like, yeah, she got down to. to the nutrition chart. She knows they're telling you. We're looking for our natural electrolytes. This is what we're looking for, replenishing our body. Because I'm sure you guys feel this too.

Got a lot to do every day. And you want to show up and you want to be like all these things. So I do a lot of research into easy, quick things I can do so that this energy that I want to show up in the world as just is there, right? So if it's easy, I'm going to try it. Yeah. That's an easy one. Coconut water.

Drink it. It's got electrolytes. We just did an advertisement. It is actually very good. It's what the plants crave. It's actually, it's like supercharged water. Right. That's what I'm hearing.

Especially if you're a heavy drinker and you're hungover. Coconut water. You don't drink that regular water like from the toilet. Oh, my. Don't do that. There's no electrolytes in there. That has some different nutrients. Yes, it does.

Yes, it does. Welcome to Good News York. Here we are. Oh, man. This show is off the rail. How many podcast listeners you get? Well, you know. Yeah, we had some.

About three. And then. So, Kate, we offended them with our electrolyte talks. Tell us about you and your business. I want to make sure I say it right. David's Refuge, correct? You did it. Yes, that is correct.

Let's talk about that. Well, I love to talk about David's Refuge. I started working with this organization 10 years ago. So it has been really part of my life's story now. and something that I'm really honored and proud to be a part of every single day. Before I was with this organization, I was running the Muscular Distrophy Association, and I did that for 10 years. So it's crazy that I'm only 25 and was able to do both of these careers.

But in all seriousness, 10 years at MDA opened my eyes to what families go through. We were working here locally. We were seeing families going into. our clinics at the local hospitals, they would receive this diagnosis, usually for their child, but we also served adults that would be diagnosed with different forms, mostly with Lou Gehrig's disease. And you would watch this ripple effect happen. You would see this initial shock, and then you would watch the family try to pick up the pieces of literally an explosion going off. And then you would slowly see, in many cases, the parents,

start to like frazzle out, you know, and they would start to lose the connection to each other. They would start to have this guilt. They would start to question every decision. And then ultimately, many of the families, many of the moms and dads would have to go through a divorce because the challenges are just so heavy when you're trying to deal with these diagnosis. So 10 years into MDA, never really thought about the mom and dad other than caring deeply about them, but our focus was always on the child or the person. David's refuge came to be through a local couple of Warren and Brenda Full, and they started this organization in their house after they had lost their son, David, to a rare genetic disease. And they had started this because they wanted to give back to moms and dads just like them. And they said, this is the hardest thing we have ever done in our life.

We cared for our son David for 13 years. On top of being mommy and daddy, we were also full-time unpaid family caregiver to him. And so they started this in their house. And I started hearing about it from my desk at MDA. And I was like, this is so cool. This is so needed. Oh, my gosh. No one's doing this.

And then I saw that they had a job opening and I applied. And it was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life because this organization needs to be here. it needs to thrive and it needs to continue to grow because there are moms and dads all across our communities, New York, and then our country that are not feeling seen. And that's what David's Refuge gets to do. And that's what I get to do in my role there every day. That's incredible. It really is. It's hard for me to find the words because we talked before the show and how this hit home with me.

I don't know who knows. But, you know, I lost my brother to leukemia. When he was three years old, I was five or six. And it's something that stays with me every day. And it's, but the positive part is it's made me who I am. It made me grow up a lot faster. It made me look at things a lot different. But I saw firsthand what it did to my family.

And now that I'm a dad, I almost have even more respect for my parents now because knowing I don't even want to entertain the thought of what that would be like to lose a child. And the fact that they did and the fact that they're still here, I don't want to say that they're still sane because they're a little wacky. Are any of us?

But I mean, you know, you talked about the divorce thing. You know, they're not divorced. They're still together. And for those of you that might question, like, why would a divorce? There are so many elements of like, why are you acting okay?

I'm still not okay. You know what I mean? There's all these thoughts and things that happen when a child or any family member passes away. So what I think you're doing is, you know, I don't know if there's a God, but if there is, you're doing God's work. Because it's just, it's absolutely incredible to do. It's so special. So, Kate, it's really incredible to hear about the why. Let's talk a little bit about some of the specific things you do for some of these folks.

I know you got a ton of incredible programs for these caregivers. Can you tell us a little bit about those? Absolutely. So what started as our very first service, what Warren and Brenda Foll started this organization doing, is they converted a wing of their house on their own dime after losing their son. It was David's wing of their home. And they converted it to a five-star bed and breakfast, as any of us would, obviously, and started welcoming people in. So that model still exists today, but we actually serve families in existing bed and breakfast locations, existing hotel partners. So our two-night getaway is an all-expense paid retreat for parents. and the mom and dad are still responsible to find child care because I always say I would bet a million dollars even if we had a lineup of people who could watch children.

Many of our parents would not trust that. How many of us would trust our kids to someone we don't know, let alone our child with special needs or that's medically fragile? Sure. So these two-dye getaways are really what we have been known for. We this year will serve nearly 500 couples or single parents in these two-night getaways. And one of the best parts of that is we will book a beautiful hotel. We will book eight rooms. And so moms and dads will book on our website, and they will randomly go with six to eight other couples that are from across New York State.

And many times it's these God stories of, I met my person. So a mom from Syracuse might meet a mom from Buffalo chance happening. And they have exactly the same story happening. They understand each other. And humans, we need other humans. We need connection. And these caregivers many times feel so alone, the social isolation. So they'll meet this other.

So they're getting this great weekend with their hubby. They're pouring into themselves. But then they also get this extra layer of meeting another parent who gets it. And then they get their person. and that they can call them in the middle of the night. In addition to that, we have added beautiful services. We have a wellness program now, and that is a holistic approach to wellness. Things that think about it, guys, what do you need to be well as a human?

Well, I like bobbleheads. They keep me entertained. No, I don't think. No, I know what you mean. I guess in like sleep? Sleep? Yeah. The opportunity to take a break from.

Thanks. Your basic needs, just alone time. Food. Food. Sleep. Yeah. Those are the basic needs that many times are met through all of the different experiences that David's refuge offers. But then we really dig one level deeper and we think about your mental health.

And we'll talk about that because our buddy, Dr. Melissa Carmen, is going to be part of our upcoming event in June. And she has pioneered a program. that allows David's refuge to outsource mental health counseling services to her practice. Because I'm no mental health therapist. I don't have all the letters after my name like she does. But we outsource that program to her. And now we're able to cut through all the red tape for caregivers. A caregiver applies to David's refuge.

They automatically are offered mental health counseling services. That's incredible. So we do mental, physical, nutritional. support. We offer financial support because financial counseling and wellness, because all of those pieces go into making us well and being able to thrive. And then the third program we offer is called community. And this is large scale events that are for just the moms we serve. We have a big nourishing you moms event coming up. And that will be at Woodcliff in Rochester's beautiful location for 100 moms we serve. They get there in the morning. They learn about wellness all day,

together and then we give them a big overnight together. Oh, that's great. So we do events like that. We've done really fun things. We've sent a bunch of dads we serve out to the Buffalo Bill Stadium for a private tour. They got to go on the field. So that community program. Mike's Dream.

Yeah, you'll have to host next time. I'm a humongous Bill's fan. Okay, I'll note it. So we do really cool events like that too. So it's meant to get people together. the whole family or just different people that can come together. So those are really the services we offer. And in total this year, we'll touch over 2,000 lives.

So it's really grown. And the first year to give context, Warren and Brendan, their house served 43 couples. Wow. So just since 2012, we have had exponential growth. And it's all because this community believes in this mission and we're able to continue to show up. Unbelievable. It's so incredible to hear. Also, I just want to say to start out with 43 couples in their first year is incredible.

That's insane. And that just kind of shows you how they really set you up for success. And you can see that your leadership is clear. Just hearing you talk, it's obvious to the world that there couldn't be somebody better for this. But again, it's obvious that they also, the folks that started this really set you up for success to allow you to do that. So that's, what a great pairing. Yeah. And what you're also doing is you're creating a support group without calling it a support group.

You know, I quit drinking years ago and everyone told me to go, you know, you should go to AA and I'm like, I don't need AA. I quit. I'm good. They're like, no, it's not about that. It's about just being around other people that have the same. You're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're into podcasts, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more.

Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at RSS.com. Shared experiences, you have no idea of the value in that until you're there. And you're creating that without calling it a support group where we're, We sit down and we, hi, my name is, you know, just being together in that house and pairing them up, pairing them up. And the other part of that that I find amazing is what that family is doing is in turn helping them. By having those people in their home, that's therapy for them whether they know it or not.

Absolutely. Like 100% I can tell you firsthand that that's what they're doing. When those couples come through the door, I don't want to say it's filling the void of David's assets. absence, but in a way it is. And it's like he's still alive without getting too dramatic, but it is. It's like he's still alive and well in that house because of what they're doing and providing for those people. Well, when you think about our soul's purpose, you know, David had a very beautiful, beautiful life and purpose. And Warren and Brenda will often say that they can't believe what this is turned into. We call David the man behind our mission.

You know, in 21 short years, look at the legacy that his life created. Look at what was born from this brokenness of his death and his diagnosis. And so you said before it's God's work, we very much believe that. You know, we want every mom and dad that comes through David's refuge to feel that they are not alone, that what they do in caring for their child matters, and that God and our community, all of us, no matter what you believe, that we love you and you are loved. So these are many times things we say to caregivers when they come through David's refuge.

And nine times out of ten, it's just an immediate. We're not trying to make people cry, but we as humans just don't hear this enough. Sure. Especially nowadays. Especially nowadays. Yeah. Bring the human back. Let's go back to human scale.

So, Kate, let's also talk about you do some really fun things as fundraisers, which allow all of us who are hearing these incredible. incredible stories want to be a part to actually come out and have some fun and support them. In June, you've got a crazy month of these things. So can you tell us a little bit about what we can expect here? Absolutely. So I was just sharing that we actually were selected to be one of the charities for a taste of Syracuse this year. So this was a phone call I got just two weeks ago from one of our beautiful partners, Tops and Summit Federal Credit Union. And they called and they said, Kate, we selected David's refuge. So we're going to be part of that event, June 6 and 7th. More news to come because I'm learning

as I go to, but huge for David's refuge, huge for people knowing about our mission, awareness, advocacy, that thought that maybe a caregiver will hear about it through this type of exposure. So we'll start with that. And then the following Friday, you're going to be part of it. You and your company, thank you so much, are going to be part of our taste of David's Refuge, which is our large fundraising event we do. We don't do a ton, but we want all the people who love our mission to come together in celebration. So June 13th, we'll be out at Heritage Hill, and this will be our 12th year for this event. We are honoring our good friend, Dr. Melissa Carman, and her husband, Dr. Jeff Steele, and we are honoring them because of the program they have built to support so

many caregivers through mental health counseling services. And we're going to be expecting another great year there. You know, 400, 500 people come out to this thing. We keep it just like Kate, pretty casual. And so come as you are, come have some great drinks, listen to some live music. We only speak for about 20 minutes and then we stop and we soak in that beautiful sunset from Heritage Hill. So if you haven't been there, it's the best sunset around. So we hope everyone will come out and just be part of that celebration with us. Absolutely. I'm really looking forward to that.

For sure. Just to jump back for half a second, you know, this program that you've got with Dr. Melissa is incredible. She's one of the top folks in town to talk to. And access to mental health professionals is very hard. So the fact that you can deliver people streamlined way to some of the best help they could possibly get is pretty awesome. And hat tip to her as well.

well for, you know, coming together and offering those services. Yeah, it's pretty fun. Her and I met at a fundraiser probably about eight years ago. Wow. And she had bid on an auction item. I looked at her email address that she had left on the sheet and it was it was her practice. So when I called her, I said, by the way, this is what we do at David's Refuge. And her and I kind of did this, you know, bubble coming out. I wonder if we could ever offer direct services to caregivers through mental health counseling. And that's where the program was born. So we initially got a grant. We said, let's just try. And now this program, you know, has grown, I think, 100 percent, you know, it's just grows year after year. We serve more and more families. And I think the sky is the limit for it,

to be honest with you. So as long as Melissa will have us, we'll keep. That's just so incredible. I'm really looking forward to that event. And there's just so many great things. I've not made it to one of these in the past. And I've regretted it because all I hear is nothing. But, man, this was an awesome time. Well, you know, why weren't you there? We have a lot of fun. We have a lot of fun.

Yeah. Yeah. And you also mentioned to me previously that a little later in November is a special month for you as well, right? It is. So November in our community is National Caregiver Awareness Month. So what we like to do is really amp up the amount of activity that's happening through our David's Refuge platforms, through our

partner platforms so that more and more people in our community. Like I see this as not just a billboard here in Syracuse. I see it as let's be on national television talking about the signs and symptoms of caregiver burnout, what families are going through, how all of us who are maybe not in this moment today can reach out to a caregiver. And this isn't just the caregivers we serve. This is mom, you know, spouses who are caring for spouses. This is us who care for our elderly parents. It really is a month where we just blow the roof off and we say, hey, people are struggling in our community. Caregiver burnout is a real thing. We are seeing depression. 70% of caregivers will struggle with depression. 80% of caregivers will see divorce will not be able

to sustain those relationships. Pretty much 100% of caregivers feel socially isolated. So what can we as a community do to do better in pushing into these parents? lives of these amazing families and people. The other thing I love to remind people of is we will all be a caregiver at some point in our journey. It's not an if it is a when. No, you are 100% correct. So let's teach us all how to care for ourselves now so that when you are put in that position, when your loved one, you get the call, that you have to put everything in your life aside and you are going to enter into a stressful, hard journey chapter in your life. You also know, know how to care for yourself because it is truly the only way that you can care for others

and keep everything going. You know, you're nailing it because my last semester at college, I took a sociology class called work and family. And a big part of that curriculum was a full, something I'd never even thought of was a focus on caregivers and how people have to balance not only, you know, being a caregiver for a sick child or a elderly parent or family member, On top of that, having to balance work. All the regular stuff. And how, you know, the workforce in the United States doesn't really, a lot of times, accommodate for that. And so what you're doing outside of just what David's refuge is, is you're also putting a spotlight on caregivers.

And, hey, you know, we've got to do something about this. So that's so good. Kate, we're almost out of time. And we're definitely going to have you back because we can talk to you about this forever. It's great. And you're so just well-versed on these things and spreading awareness is incredible to see. Real quickly, who do you serve? I know you mentioned a couple times in New York State.

Is that sort of your area coverage? You know, how does that work? Yeah, great question. So we serve families right now just in New York State. We had to sort of put some parameters on that. We were starting to get so many applications from outside of the state. And my goal right now is to figure out how we can. learn how to grow, but do it where I can still get in my car and drive down the

through way if I need to. So our next goal is to expand into the Rochester community. We're already serving three to 400 families in Western New York. Wow. But my goal this year is to have a staff member out there and really learn, learn all the things I don't know about geographic expansion and what that means for our organization. So right now, if you are a caregiver in our community, really kind of the things we look at are, does your child have an individualized educational plan and IEP at school? Are they registered through the OPWDD? Those are sometimes those direct line in the sand where we know you will be eligible for our services. We have an online application at david's refuge.org,

so I would encourage anyone to go on and apply for services. We are full right now for our respite program, our overnight program. We were full within two weeks this year. So we have a waiting list of close to 300 families right now who are waiting for that specific service. So that weighs on you. Sure. Yep. But it's a good problem in that we're trying to figure out ways to grow that. Yeah. But there are still openings for our mental health programs, all of our wellness programmings, and our community events. So I encourage people to still apply for services. Awesome. Yeah. David'srefuge.org is the website. I'm guessing that's also a good place to go to find out about these events if you want to contribute or come come hang out yes that's where you go come

come hang with us awesome you're an amazing human being kate the the last thing i want to ask you and we are almost out of time but i just i'm really curious how many other organizations like you are there in other parts of the country good question so we haven't found an organization just like us um there's organizations who do provide different types of services for caregivers of course but i we haven't uncovered one that's just like what we do. So that's where I look at this as a beautiful opportunity to bring a David's refuge into multiple communities and serve. So if we grow, it's for the sole purpose of making sure this mission can be felt in

other areas of our communities. It's needed. And we're getting the calls. So, yeah. I love to have you back with David's parents if they would be willing to come on. I think that'd be awesome. Yeah. That would be really amazing.

Honestly, any of your staff, we'd love to just, like I said, we can talk about this forever because it's such a good cause. And it's something that clearly needs to be talked about because I'm a little shocked that there aren't. Well, you know, it's one of those things that you don't. 10 of you at least across the country or something. You know what I mean? Again, from experience, it's one of those things that you just don't think about until it happened. Right. So people, you know, outside.

Everybody's focus is on the sick person. Right. And but even outside of that, in the local community, you know, people in local government aren't thinking about, you know, these kinds of things. It's just not, it's not something that's on your radar until, unfortunately, it happens. Exactly. It's great that you're out there doing that. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, where to come, right? I mean, let's get it out there. So I appreciate you guys allowing me to come on and talk about it. Kate, David's Refuge. That's what you want to check out. And come to the event. It's going to be awesome.

I didn't, I didn't tell you this. My birthday is June 14. So your event is going to be, you know, like a pseudo birthday party. I love that. Come out and support David's refuge and watch the beautiful. People. Let's celebrate Matt's birthday. Hey, listen.

We're going to sing. If it can generate another $50 in donations to her, I will do anything. All right. Listen, the bar is low to support this awesome organization. We have no pride. We will make this happen. I'll buy a drink, I promise. I love it.

Thanks, Matt. You're listening to a podcast right now, driving, working out, walking the dog. If you're in a podcast, chances are you have something to say too. With RSS.com, starting your own podcast is free and easy. Upload an episode and we distribute it to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and more. Track your listeners, see where they're from, and start earning from ads just like this. If you've been thinking about starting a podcast, this is your sign. Start your new podcast for free today at RSS.com.

Thank you.