Grass Daddies Podcast - Episode 61: Keep it real

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, Zane and Ben join Jake in the studio for quite an unfiltered experience. Jake talks about his unwillingness to play the algorithm, collectively the boys talk about finding their first nut, and Zane talks about his mom calling an ambulance on him when he claimed to be dying. SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Zane's Instagram: @zane_zurbrugg Tik Tok: @grassdaddies podcast @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

Balance or... Muscle memory. Yeah, muscle memory. There's a bit of that. But with playing guitar and drinking or smoking, it's less. You sound like a horse. What the hell? That was crazy.

No, that was not me. No, no, no. You sounded like a legit horse name. Holy shit. Did you hear that? I heard it and I was like, is that you or him? That was crazy. I tried to cover my laugh up because I didn't want to interrupt this conversation.

That might be our opening clip. Welcome to the... I love you, Jake. Shoot me. I had to add a little bit. That was good. We haven't even had a single drop of alcohol and i already fucked up because i forgot to click record on the mics but i'm jake and i'm a grass daddy and i'm being joined by hancock and a free agent right now just kidding that's zane and ben you can't probably can't tell

from our disguises we're wearing right now but that is in fact ben he's sitting in spencer's normal spot what was that huh was that a wave What was that? Huh? Was that a wave? That was a wave. That was a wave, for sure. Take it easy, Erica. Eric. Erica? That was Mikey.

Trap remix. We were thinking about doing maybe like a white boy trap remix, but... It fell through. Maybe later. We'll get in the lab and maybe cook something up. I think I'll have a better flow and rhythm with a couple drinks. Yeah, you got to get some liquid courage. See how this goes.

It may not see the light of day, but you know. This is always the best podcast. Patreon's a thing. Subscribe. So I was wondering, do you think there's a hierarchy in these seats? Do you think you normally sit there? Well, this is only my second time. But this is more of, to be honest, I came in first and just figured it.

And just sat there. Right. But this seat does hold a lot of power because you get the door. You are manning the mini-bridge in that seat. I think this is the throne, though. You get the laptop, the sounds. You are the host. Someone has to do it. He's the host. He is the throne though You get the laptop The sounds You are the host Someone has to do it He's the host

He is the grass daddy himself The king Someone has to do it You've been in every single episode I don't like doing it I don't like being the star of the show But Someone has to

Someone's gotta Someone's gotta be the star That's a good seat though Cause you just talk and You know You don't have to worry about Getting people drinks And you know I know that's really

the only job i have yeah this is the no responsibility seat you're just here to i'm just here to entertain entertain entertain us i'm good at it you're just good at that you're just here to fill that air sure shit well yeah tribute to the conversation i was i was testing him to see if he'd feel the dead air. Perfect. Good job. You're hired. I don't see any sense in delaying it. No.

No. Are we thirsty or what? I'm very. I'm going to knock on it with my. I was hammering some steaks in. I like to tease the mini fridge opening and then start talking again. You got to do a little foreplay. I got to get you guys i gotta get you guys right i gotta get the heartbeat up a little bit but i i fucking hit my finger on a t-post today when i was hammering in neither one of you

i'm listening i hurt my finger You're hammering a T-Pocher. Wham, wham. Hello? Anything in there? Now you open it. Well, he didn't wake it up yet. He didn't lock it. What do we got? Oh, the silver bear came to town.

Oh, Lord. A good old Coors Light. Oh, shit. Are the mountains blue? They're getting there. Is there anything else? Is that it? Fucking Christ.

What else is in there? Are there other things? I think it's just Coors Light. Are you sure? What's up here? Get all in there. Fucking, this microphone's a bit of a... Is there anything, like, back behind the Coors Lights that we should be aware of?

I can't tell. I got sunglasses on. Oh, fuck. I already see it. Oh, what is it? There it is. What is it? Buzz balls.

Buzz balls. Let's go. This is a weird angle. How many are in there? There might be three I'm hoping there's three Since there's three of us here One

Okay I better take this one You know what The thing about buzz balls is I watched the prior episode Of you guys with buzz balls Yeah Tell me about it Buzz balls

Tell me about it None of you guys seem to like them We got some funky flavors I thought I liked it I've had all the flavors. I've drank one too many buzz balls. Really?

Yeah. That is our go-to drink when we're traveling on the bus. No way. Yeah. So our manager and hitting coach last year would always get buzz balls. They would fill a cooler full of buzz balls probably about 20 of them again and we'd be sitting on the bus a lot of us would you know there's a lot of dead time when you're on a charter bus for 8 to 12 hours you gotta do

something so we fill it with drinking bunk mate starts looking more and more like a girl every day they got especially got a little flow to it sure nothing wrong being a switch hitter it's 2024 hey now we know why uh those major league teams grow their hair out shit you gotta ignore the beard but the hair you're starting to look okay 15 again oh that was a nice crack or not the dart were you saying the dodger yeah and then wait i'm thinking the rule is you can take a sip if you want and taste it, but the rule is, straight to the face. Yeah. Oh.

I'll take a sip. Cheers, gentlemen. All right. I want to just... Motherfucker. To the grass daddies. To the grass daddies. Oh, I didn't...

Okay. I still don't know what the point of tapping it is It's just pretty It's pretty good Who invented that? The tap? What is that? I don't know

I never do it I don't I personally don't like it I've just done it Like it's such a custom thing to do now That I just It's like Well I just did it

Because I've seen people do it Yeah Other people do That's I hate it That's kind of why I started doing it too. But then I started just like, you know what? Don't be a follower.

I don't like doing it. I want to cheers and I want to take my fucking drink. Yeah, what does this mean? I feel like the cheers is what initiates the and now we drink part. Right. Yeah. But what's the table tap? What is that?

Is it like a rice or something? What is that? Let's get on to Dr. Google It. Dr. Google It? Dr. Google It. Can you Google on that thing? Do a little research? It is a Mac.

Hey, Jamie, can we look that up? I have internet access. I do people. That was my Joe Rogan reference. Having a Jamie would be pretty sweet. I don't know who we know. Maybe that should be the third seat responsibility. Google expert.

On the table before drinking. That'd be pretty good. People tap their drinks on the table before drinking for a variety of reasons, including respect. Some believe tapping your glass on the table is a way to show respect to the bartender, the establishment, and the people who made the drink possible. Tribute to the absent. Tapping your glass can be a quiet way to honor friends and comrades who are not present.

Some say it's a modern way of pouring a drink on the ground to pay tribute to the deceased. People got sick of that shit. Pour one out for the homies. Wait, wait. I'm not going to waste it, but I'll tell you. Third possible reason. Settling foam.

Oh, that's bullshit. Tapping your beer on the table can settle foam, making it easier to drink. I've never tapped a beer on the table. Removes sediment. In earlier juke joints, sawdust was used on the dance floor, which could cover glassware after a ruckus night. Imagine that. Or ruckus? Ruckus. It's ruckus. after a ruckus night. Imagine that. Or ruckus? Ruckus.

It's ruckus. Calls a ruckus. Well, but it's spelled R-A-U. Yeah, ruckus. No one says that. Okay, ruckus night. So I was right. Tapping the glass on the bar would remove any sawdust before drinking.

Irish superstition. So basically, it's just kind of a thing. Yeah. And you know what? There was no one strict definition It was just a whole bunch of random bullshit Yeah So I'm still

I'm just never gonna do it I'm officially out on it Me too I'm sorry I did I wanna take that back Yep This is America god damn it Yeah

We do what the fuck we want Irish bullshit Home of the free because of the brave It was funny though that People were like I'm not gonna pour my drink out, but I'll tap the table. I mean, you know.

Here you go, dead brother. You get nothing. Just tap it on the fucking head. Tap it on the gravestone. Yeah, yeah. You know, at least... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that probably was it.

Shout out gravestones. Sure, sure, sure thing. God, these buzz balls are already getting to us. They hit you quick. Are you really going to try to say... Oh, the thing? Every episode?

No, no, no. You're not? Unless it comes out. Well, unless we get on a topic that... It's not going to be this early in an episode. It's going to be after a few. It's going to be when it's sloppy. It's going to be after a sloppy half.

Let's turn that drunk meter down to sober, though. Let's keep it... No, no. Slightly in the drunk meter down to sober, though. Let's keep it. No, no. Slightly in the blue. That buzz ball hit quick. That buzz ball didn't hit quick. My face immediately got warm. Yep.

We're buzz balled, but there is something that we learned. Wait, so sorry to cut everybody. Oh, sorry. How many do you drink of these on a road trip? I think I've had six. Okay, that's pretty good. I've had six. Over the whole time, or did you go hard in a short span? I'd say've had six. Okay, that's pretty good. I've had six. Over the whole time or did you go hard

in a short span? I'd say the course of an hour. What? It was usually after a couple beers. Okay, let me just... I never finished my buzz ball story. That's not much of a road trip. What do you mean? One hour? No, 12 hours. No, no, no. He said how fast would I slug in the buzz

balls. Our average road trip was anywhere... A short one would be like four to six. Long ones were like eight to 12. But he was just taking an hour out to get hammered. The hour was probably of which we were all drinking buzz balls. And then sobering up. And then it was keeping the drunk with whatever beer of choice we got. But the buzz balls got introduced from Adam Donachie absolute legend shut up he was our

hitting coach last year and he just i don't know why him and our manager loved buzz balls and they would always have a cooler and they would have just a fuck they'd get them at truck stops the fuck ton of buzz balls and you do this thing where you know if you wanted a buzz ball you'd get one but he would like randomly like say if i'm back there we're having a good time he'd be like hey zane and i'd look up and he would grab a buzz ball and fucking, say if I'm back there, we're having a good time. He'd be like, hey, Zane. And I'd look up, and he would grab a buzz ball and fucking throw it. He's at the front of the bus. And he would fucking throw it down there. Baseball shit.

Yeah. And, like, you know, sometimes, you know, I'd be able to catch it or it'd hit somebody or the fucking seat. You'd toss it to him. You'd grab it. Quack. Crack it open. Slug it.

And, you know, it was a good time. Yeah. It's almost getting nice. But if your name gets called, you turn around. There's probably a buzz ball flying down the bus. Oh, dude. You catch it. You know, it was a good time. Yeah, it's almost getting nice. But if your name gets called, you turn around, there's probably a buzz ball flying down the bus. You catch it. It'd be funny if someone had to go out of a game because they got a concussion from a fucking buzz ball.

Caught a buzz ball in the teeth. Zane Zerbrug's out for a week and a half with a concussion. What happened? Dude, he got hit by something on the bus. Put that on the injury report. But you would say, like, he got hurt in practice yeah they would but the team would know say he caught a he caught a buzz bar in the beak his coach got a it's not based on balls it's buzz ball he got buzz ball he got his buzz ball and he kept i mean tell me tell me your catcher

or someone would be in the back putting down a sign for him for what he wanted the buzz ball to be coming in. A fucking two-seam, a fucking come on outside corner. No, it was more like it wasn't like he was pitching. It was like he's an outfielder, and he picked that ball up, and he's Kent Murphy and Janitor throwing it down the fucking bus. Cro-ha. Like your name got called, and he's throwing it to you, but you don't know which direction it's going

It's dark And there's just a buzz ball flying Wait I would like to open my first beer Oh shit Okay Yeah Yeah. Isn't that just a great sound?

That's a great sound. It's the best sound. It's a dopamine rush. Doesn't matter if it's a beer, a can of Coke. That just delayed my suicide attempt by at least a week. At least a week. A week. Maybe a week and a half.

An hour. I said at least an hour unless i get another one that's two hours i got a date with my shotgun after this podcast thank you guys all for tuning into another lovely episode i love recording on a friday shoot me shoot me okay so we had a couple topics we wanted to talk about before we started recording. But again, you know, me being me. Does that annoy you guys actually? When you show up and you're like, Jake, you'll never believe what happened.

And I'm like, shut up. Save for the podcast. Save for the podcast. Not at all. Because if you didn't say it and we had the conversation, we'd have to reiterate it. And it just wouldn't be authentic. It wouldn't be. You know what it is?

And this might be a terrible comparison and I'm doing the hand things already. Already? Already. But it's like, you know when you're a kid and it's like Christmas Eve and you're like, Mom, can I just open the fucking presents already? Like I want to get it out, but I know that it'll be better. If you wait. If I go to bed.

Wake up. Wake. Open them in the morning It's like Have you seen Well I mean They're A dime a dozen

But Do you know who Oprah Side is Oh my god Do you know who that is Yeah Okay Can we explain

Who she is first He does reaction videos Yeah he like It's not Oprah I'm sorry I hear Oprah And I It's not Oprah. I'm sorry. I hear Oprah and I think, you know. Oprah's side, Iverson. Oh, yeah.

Sorry. He goes by another name, but we can't say it because we're white. Okay. Well, I can say it. He's a reaction YouTuber. He's a reaction YouTuber and he reacts to mainly NBA. A lot of NBAba so players okay so normally he doesn't watch any games and then he reacts to like the highlights and so you get his

first authentic genuine reaction to the game okay if he watched the game ahead of time his reactions are so flat yeah because he knows what's going to happen when he sees the clip ahead of time, his reactions are so flat. Yeah, because he knows what's going to happen when he sees the clip. It's not a genuine first reaction. Yeah, like if a guy hits a game winner and he watched it live, and then he replays it, it's like, well, I know in five seconds he's the game winner. There's no excitement. Yeah.

And there's like a thing too where it's like, you're not going to like, I don't know, it's probably more fun to just watch a highlight tape of the Rockets versus the Thunder than just sit there and watch a three-hour game for 15 seconds of excitement that may or may not happen. I'm sure he's got a team. Isn't he like a Sixers guy? No. He just liked Allen Iverson?

No, no, no. He is LeBron. Oh, he's a LeBron guy? He's whatever team LeBron is on. God, I fucking hate people like that, no. He is LeBron. Oh, he's a LeBron guy? He's whatever team LeBron is on. God, I fucking hate people like that. God, I hate LeBron. Dude, I don't even... LeBron's one thing, but I just hate flip-floppers.

He's good. You all right? Yeah. He's a Chinese sellout. LeBron. Never mind. These mics pick up everything. They do.

I probably will fart later, and you will hear it. I hope you sneak in. I hope you just start talking. Just mid-sentence. I'll try to time it. I'll try to time it. Comedic timing. So you...

Okay, let's get back on track here. Okay. Steer the ship. We're already a quarter of the way done. It doesn't have to be set in stone. That's true. We did too. So what happened on the way over here. It doesn't have to be set in stone. That's true. We did too. So what happened on the way over here?

I wouldn't let you say it. Yes. You just said I ran into an ordeal. An ordeal. I'm assuming accident, but tell me about it. You know what? We could even go back to tomorrow when I was 40 minutes late to work. Did you just say go back to tomorrow?

Yep. You know, we're going back to the future we're going back to the future okay we're taking a glimpse into the tidbit but i have had horrible driving luck so yesterday might as well say tomorrow but so yesterday i'm on my way to work and i'm just driving and i take my exit and I'm, there's a train track there. We're at, we're at, we're at. I was the old Chaney. I was getting off highway 77.

Okay. And you get on old turning left on old Chaney and there's a train track there. And sometimes on my way to work, there's a train. It's no big deal. It's like five, five minutes. Wait, quick tangent. Don't they say that it's quicker to sit in wait at the train than to find an alternate route? 100% because I went alternate route yesterday.

Because I was pissed off because I was late to work. I've heard that. That, like, normally your first instinct is, well, I've got to find a different way because this is going to take forever. It's actually quicker to just sit and wait. No, because the five minutes does feel like 20. It does. Especially if you're trying to get somewhere and you're getting frustrated getting frustrated but there's like regulations and typically i think it takes like probably 10 minutes true yeah it's like you're going to be driving 15 trying to find

a different way exactly anyways go ahead but it a train wasn't coming so i was the train like i was stopped in traffic and well it's got the signals right they flashed when the train's coming and nothing's flashing so i sat there for a couple minutes. Did the arms come down? No. What? No arms were down, but nobody was going either direction. And I'm like, what the fuck?

And I still have no idea. But eventually, I just start seeing people in front of me turning around and driving back. Probably six or seven cars go by. And I go, you know what? Fuck it. Maybe someone's broke down. But it was weird because no one's going each way but the lights weren't going in a train because i sat there for five minutes no train came there was a train suicide i have i have no idea there's a

body on the tracks there was there was something but cars weren't moving and i was right it was already 7 30 so i go you know what i'm gonna turn around too and so i go to turn around and i'm driving out and so i'm so i go up to the next exit i'm gonna go around too and so i go to turn around and i'm driving out and so i'm so i go up to the next exit i'm gonna go well fuck everybody's gonna go this way so i was like you know what i'm gonna turn around again drive back into downtown lincoln and drive through it this will be totally quicker wait so you went right instead of left so you turned around yes so i wasn't gonna go i could have went left so i went right back to like what is it like rosa parks way back into downtown would be quicker?

You know what? I really. Hey, hey. Sorry. It was an executive decision. Not from Lincoln. I'm not. And you know what?

I made a decision and I went with it. Was it right? No. Absolutely not. Showed up to work 40 minutes late. And I only know that because early was in the same traffic as me because I was in front. So this garbage truck started backing up, going the other way. And i was in front so this garbage truck started backing up going the other way and i was in front of him so imagine like traffic and then a garbage truck backing up

the wrong way and i was in front of him early saw that and i was the truck in front of him so early was in the same line he hasn't turned around yet i got to work at 755 he got to work at 740 and he stayed there and waited so goes back to your story jake he waited it out i got impatient started driving all over town motherfucking the world and i was late to be fair if you would have went left and headed towards like warhorse yeah and hung a left and went over that bridge he probably would have been there quicker than if you would have went yeah well i just i took a lap around around Lincoln and then came back. I did.

I took a fucking scenic, I took the scenic route. Which, you know. And then that goes into today. Yeah. So today, I'm leaving work and I'm driving home,

taking 77, and I got to get on the interstate, whatever the interstate number is, doesn't fucking matter. 80? Sure. And so I'm getting on there and there's an oversized load on the on-r 77 hey bro not november what's your record three minutes

i wait till midnight so anyways there's a there's a truck broke down and there's like probably a mile and a half of traffic and i go oh well in two hours i gotta go to jake's house so i'm not gonna go this way i'm gonna drive through lincoln so i get home you're like let's see if rose is open let's see if rose is open no actually i would have took 27th because that's the exit before my apartment so i'm leaving my apartment you're on i-80 i live up like and there's and you can go ninth street towards downtown yep 27th or 76th yeah so i'm leaving i'm going maybe they cleared it up and there's a you know the big reader board and i get on the oh yeah so yeah so i get on the interstate and the thing says exit or it was like on ramp to 77 is blocked use alternate route so i was like

shit okay they didn't clear it up no big deal i'll take 27 this is an ordeal so i take the exit and i'm going and i'm going why the fuck as soon as i get on to 27th there's a no it's not 27th what's that road that goes through downtown 9th 9th street so i'm getting on 9th street and i'm getting over the overpass just got off the interstate there's a fuck ton of traffic i go son of a gun what's going on damn it there's a concert i had no idea and so i'm sitting there i go well maybe everybody had the same idea as me and And then I see a bunch of red and fucking blue flashing lights. I go, you got to be shitting me. There's another fucking accident.

God, someone better my dad. So I make it through that. I'm like, well, Jake said to be here at 6. So God damn it, I'm going to be here at 6. You got here before me. I did get, I got here at 6. It was a tentative. 5.57.

What time? It doesn't matter. That's not the way I operate. When someone tells me to be there at a time, I will fucking at 6.57. What time? It doesn't matter. That's not the way I operate. When someone tells me to be there at a time, I will fucking be there. Whether it's scheduled, important, or tentative time. I'll never be fucking late. Unless something happens. Look me in my eyes.

Like a train. Unless I turn around. No, no, no. Look me in my eyes. I will never be late. I will never be late. I'll never be late. So anyways, so I make it through that, and I text Jake, hey, might be there a little after six.

There's another accident. Did I respond to you? You did. You said. I think I said, take your time. You said, no. I'll check my phone. I think I said, no rush.

He said, no rush. No rush. So I make it through that. I'm going through rush. No rush. So I make it through that. I'm going through downtown. No rush. All right. That was really blown out. Holy shit.

So I keep driving, and I'm going down. I get to whatever fucking street, the main drag down here that goes to your house. That drag strip, yeah. Yep. I knew. Yep. And I'm right before I turn left to come up to your house And I see more Red and blue flashing lights In traffic

No way And I go You gotta be Like I'm not even mad I'm not even mad But I'm like You gotta be fucking shitting me At this point do you go

Maybe I shouldn't hang out With Jake and Ben tonight You know I was about Maybe I should have just Turned around and took my ass home Absolutely not Absolutely not I live for this moment

You wanna open that You wanna open that Oh yeah please Oh Ah Oh You want to open that? You want to open that? Oh, yeah, please. Oh, fuck. You took it away from me. I took it away.

Fuck! Anyway. I'm not going to do the whole fucking podcast on reverb. So I end up taking, so I go, again, I wish Jake would have told me this before, but I decided to take an alternate route. I took the first left i could i i plug in jake's fucking address into my phone and i'm driving through every single fucking neighborhood from that exit to jake's house going left right left right up stop sign four-way and it just it just pissed me off but i have no fucking patience at all i gotta keep

moving gotta keep going so do you guys like Mythbusters? I love it. I've been, yeah, I had a kid. There was a myth. I think they did a myth where they tested. Is it quicker?

If there's like, is it quicker to turn right three times? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Versus waiting at a light to turn left. Do you remember that myth? Yes,

I do. And I remember because it came up. That carry, that redhead. Oh, yeah. That's childhood crush right there, for sure. For sure. I know who you're talking about. I think that might have been my first boner.

Oh, shit. Yeah. I mean, I don't blame you. I'm trying to think of mine. Oh, you know what? Oh, yeah, that was my next one. What was your guy's first boner? Oh, can I answer this? Megan'm trying to think of mine. Oh, you know what it was? Oh, yeah, that was my next one. What was your guy's first bowler? Oh, can I answer this?

Megan Fox in the first Transformers. Who's the chick from Titanic? Maybe you should sit on my lap. Okay, what? Titanic. I watched... Bowler! My mom was watching Titanic when I was like six or seven or something.

There is nothing better... Than that painting scene? No, no, no. I'll take you one step further. There is nothing better than a forbidden nude scene on a movie you shouldn't be watching. Oh, yeah. That your parents are letting you watch. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes and you do one of these. Oh, fuck yeah. You do the Spock. You go like this. And you're just bricked up. I'm not looking. I'm not looking. No.

I don't know what's going on, but my wiener's hard. I don't know why. Why do I need to pee? All right. It wasn't even the Remember your first time You tried jacking off You're like I guess I pee now

What? What? Anyways I was gonna answer One buzz ball And half a Coors Light And I'm fucking Son of a gun

Remember the first time I tried to jerk off I like Got to like The point of climax And I felt the feeling And I was like I stopped I was like It hurt I was like, I stopped.

I was like, it hurt. I was like, this isn't right. I didn't know what to expect. Were you jacking off with a cactus? No. I guess it didn't hurt, but I was like, what was that? It was such a bizarre feeling. Yeah, I just stopped.

I was like, I can't do this. Do you guys remember the first time you ever jerked off and the white mystical liquid ever came out of you? Yeah, I do. I was shooting blanks for a while. I started probably too young. See, I didn't start young then. Welcome to the Jerk Off and Drink Beer podcast. I feel like this is like the two topics we circle back to.

I think it's every man's core memory, the first time the mystical white liquid ever came out. I don't remember the first time I actually had a full-on ejaculation. Let's get medically correct here. I don't remember the first time I actually had a full-on ejaculation. Let's get medically correct here. For all you kids listening, you want to know the facts. You shouldn't be listening to this if you're a kid. No.

Turn this shit off. The fuck are you listening to? But I was shooting blanks. You were a horny kid. I remember, I was in elementary school. No way. Oh, yeah. I did sixth grade. Shit, mine's around that time.

Maybe I'm just more damaged than you guys. Because I remember looking up, like, boobs, though. Yeah, yo. And getting in trouble for it. Because I looked it up on my mom's computer when I was in, like, first grade. Just the word boobs? Boobs. Naked boobs. Naked boobs grade. Just the word boobs? Boobs. Naked boobs.

Naked boobs. Sex boobs. Sex boobs. Sex boobs. Not even sure what that meant, but looking back upon it, but yeah, that was first grade and then I took a four-year hiatus,

five-year hiatus. I think I'm back to the real shit. To the real shit. Got on to xnxx.com. Yeah. Do any of us have a... Five-year hiatus. Do any of us have an authentic core memory? Because I feel like we've all done the same thing. I remember getting a virus on my dad's computer, looking up booby pics on fucking the internet.

Getting a virus and been like crying. Do you guys remember looking up striptease videos on YouTube back in the early days? Yeah, dude, OG YouTube was legendary. Because you couldn't see. There was no nudity on YouTube, but you were like, oh, they're so close because they're teasing. And it stops right before the nip comes out. What? I had a lot of movie clips that I learned.

Or like music videos. Like when, you guys were a little older for this, but when Anaconda came out, I think I was in seventh grade. We were talking about this. Yeah, I was in seventh grade. Were you really? And I was like, it blew my mind. When they're on the yoga mats.

Blew your load is what you did. Oh, I blew a load. Blew my mind. Well, I mean, Nicki Minaj has a huge ass, and she's shaking it. And there's like six backup dancers shaking ass, too. And it was just too much. What is this? Sorry.

What is this podcast game? I don't know. I don't know. Core memories. Core memories. Let's tie this right in. It's all just ass. Hey, beer guy, go ahead and beer me.

This is getting interesting. Beer me. Let's tie this right into what the other thing I stopped you guys from talking about. Playing the algorithm. You need a beer? Oh, yes. Yeah, you can give me another one oh yeah should we do it together real quick before we oh do you want to do a joint crack let's do a joint crack but this is i i'm very interested in this going

he's almost done this shit we have to be quiet if we bang these mics around, they're going to fuck us. I know. I clanged one on mine. Okay, ready? Shh. Are we? Okay, I'm turning. Hold on. That's mine. This is me. No.

That's Zane's. It's lit. That's Ben's. Okay. On one. Okay. Three, two. It's lit!

I'm like, hey, what's up, hello? Alright. Thumbnail. Clip that, Chad. Can I get a clip? Can I get a clip? It's just... Okay. Okay. Okay.

Here's the deal. Before we started recording, you were talking about a video you watched? Yep, on YouTube. You watched a video on YouTube where a guy was talking about thumbnails and getting clicks and because you were asking about the analytics of this yep channel and i understand that if i really wanted to if i really really wanted to you could i could you got a good thing going here i could absolutely customize every single thumbnail like even even talking about certain things right yeah you could i could name drop celebrities and or whatever you know there are certain ways you can play the algorithm

or or i could not cuss at all not drink or you know more drinking more cussing i could like yeah i could cut out all the provocative stuff and try to cater to a younger audience because that's a lot of what's on youtube is just young kids on their ipads before that i get that there are certain ways that i could try to play the algorithm and promote myself quicker and try to get in a partnership program and start making money. But that's not what I'm trying to do here. What I'm trying to do is get together with my boys on a Friday night, drink some beers, talk about the first time we shot a little low.

You know what I mean? You know what? Oh, sorry. Go ahead. And I respect you for that. No, it's a little low. You know what I mean? You know what? Oh, sorry. Go ahead. And I respect you for that. No, it's a grassroots podcast. And then if, and it's a slim chance, if this podcast took off and I did end up making money off of it. Yeah.

People think you become a YouTuber and you become rich. No. I mean, YouTube takes so much for itself. Just if you can get ads on your videos, you have to get hundreds of thousands of views on a video to make any sort of money. Right. Don't you need like a subscriber thing, like a thousand subs?

There's a lot's before there's a lot to it there is a lot before you can even start to make money it's like you have to have a thousand subscribers have an average watch time of whatever there's a lot of shit the average watch time is based off of it's based like if you have our videos versus the five minute videos, it's like a percentage of watch time. There's a lot. I mean, there's a lot fucking to it. Let's just say so. And what I was saying was let's even if I started to make money off this or whatever, the payoff would be so much higher and more satisfying if i was

like i just did what the fuck i wanted to do the whole time yeah and that's when you start to weed out what people the people that actually fuck with you right yeah you talk if you talk about what you want to talk about and people fuck with it yeah you can get away with anything yeah versus if you cater if you talk about what the audience wants to hear then you're then you're you're putting yourself in a you're being fake almost you're it's kind of being fake and you might be like a one-hit one like i feel like this happens a lot with comedians where they'll put out a couple clips blow up up, and then people start listening to their comedy, and they're like, what the fuck?

Like the Hak Tua girl. I'll use her as an example. She had a viral clip of her. Don't get me wrong. It was funny, and people made memes about it. It was a meme. But she is running that shit fucking dry. You know what I mean?

She has ran with it. She's gotten a lot of attention, and I'm not hating on her. Good for her. Make your money. Go off clean. Keep sucking cock. Good for you. I'm not hating on her. But now she's gotten a lot of attention and i'm not hating on her like good for her make your money go off clean keep sucking good for you i'm not but like now she's got like a podcast now and people like she's getting clicks because people are hating on her but it's like because she she brings no authentic value let me tell you this go ahead go ahead she brings no authentic

value and she's continuing to be big because like i, I don't even know if she understands, but it's almost like rage bait where people are continuing to click on her stuff because they're mad that she's making money. And so, this is going to go back to Jake, on why you have a very respectable answer. And that is actually, your answer is why a lot of successful entrepreneurs, businessmen are successful is because they continue to do what they want to do and they did it for a real reason. They're doing it because they want to do it and then it takes off. Like Barstool Sports.

You know what I mean? Granted, his heart, I'm not going to say his heart's completely, he is a very good businessman, by the way. Well, and you also have to consider how much money they had before. Okay, yes. I literally have negative money in my bank account right now. Don't we all?

We're living. Don't we all? We're here doing this. You know what? What I'm trying to say is your answer is the answer of like many businessmen and many business stories. It's like whether it's a podcast or a product, they do it because they want to do it and they don't care if it takes off. And that's the reason why it takes off. Like those are usually where more successful business and businessmen come from than someone that's like, you know what? This is popping right now.

Let me just hop on and skim the fucking skim the surface and make a little money. Right. We are not hiding behind any sort of we're, we're as genuine as it gets. Pretty much. Yeah. I mean,

no filter in here. A little like, like YouTube well the filter is we're saying don't say that hard uh anyways what about the r1 i've already said that we're somewhat we're somewhat politically correct so like so like youtube the the one stipulation i have with this podcast yeah is that i don't want to talk about any politics sure i don't want to talk about anything that any sort of drama this is purely a comedy friends getting together and talking about funny shit that makes us laugh that hopefully is giving an escape to someone who just needs to listen to nothing like hey

let me tune into a video of just three regular dudes talking about their regular day doing regular fucking shit. Because you know what? Majority of people out there are doing what we're doing. Just living a regular life. Going through regular fucking shit. Absolutely. You know what I mean? That is relatable.

It's relatable. A lot of things. Think about, like you said with comedians, the things that people laugh at the most are when comics make a relatable joke. Yeah. That's the key to a funny, that's the key to a laugh, is when you say something that everyone goes, that's what happens to me.

Yeah. That happens to me. That happened to me on fucking Tuesday. I hate waiting for trains. Yeah. That happens to me. That happened to me on fucking Tuesday. I hate waiting for trains. Yeah. I got a flat tire last Wednesday and this bitch cussed me out. Damn cunt. Sorry.

R. Yeah, we don't leave anything out. No filter. Back to what we were talking about. Yes. But the algorithm. With the Hawk to a girl and even with Jake Paul. Okay.

Oh, he runs. He is the definition of running the fucking system. Oh, we talked about this today. I'll say this. He and girls like the Hawk Tua almost live for the hate. They do. Because they get a lot of their engagement from hate comments. Yeah.

So. And they're fine doing it. It's a win-win it because they just make money the whole time. Yeah, they don't care if people hate them. I'm sure it takes some effect. To a point, I do. Because I but at the same time

I fucking respect it. I do. You know, I hate Jake Paul. I think he's a piece of shit. Jake Paul, you're a piece of fucking shit. Fuck you hate Jake Paul. I think he's a piece of shit. Jake Paul, you're a piece of fucking shit. Fuck you, Jake Paul. You'd probably knock me out, but you know what? So what? You're a loser anyway.

But you know what? I respect it because they are very good at- You're a fucking loser. He's very good at his craft. You know what I mean? Manipulating the media? Yeah, but he's very- No drama. Okay, but as much as that is a bad thing you

know what i mean he manipulates people same thing with uh mr beast dude or whatever what you know well mr beast is a good example he's he's not a good fucking person but he's very good at youtube he's very good at manipulating an audience bad person i don't know if he's a bad guy i don't know okay i'm not okay't know. Devil's advocate. Devil's advocate. Sorry, I was getting close to my mic. Mr. Beast actually works hard at his videos. He does a good job.

Yes, because he's good at it. And he puts a lot of money into his videos. Yeah. People like the Hawk Tua girl and Jake Paul are just like, if I just get my face in front of a camera, whether the comments are good or bad, it's going to make me money. They're just throwing shit at the wall. Yes, Hawk Tua, but like Jake Paul,

Mr. Beast, they know what is going to get views and they will do what gets views. They're also self-started, those guys. The Hawk Tua girl, she had the original video. Yeah, which was like a... She didn't just go to LA, buy a studio. And I don't want to go down the hole

Well she's a hot girl And there's thirsty dudes It's not necessarily She's not that hot though I don't even think she's attractive To be honest I don't think she's attractive I wouldn't fuck her

She's a living breathing female She is I mean this internet loves her I would If she said I'm going to spit on your dick And suck it right now I'd probably say okay

I mean I would let her Yeah If she came up to me Yes Let me check the junco meter But I don't What's the next one? Sorry Lit Oh I mean, I would let her, yeah. If she came up to me, yes. Let me check your junco meter. What's the next one? Lit.

Oh, I was reading that upside down. I was like, H7. Hit. Miss. All right, let's veer off that topic because we're getting a little ranty. Yes. My main point I was trying to make was... Beer me. There's a way to play the system, and it requires you to not be yourself.

And I'm not willing to not be myself to get ahead. Right. But it's a shortcut. You're skipping the line and I'm not going to do it. Right. And YouTube finished like YouTube that gives you like three thumbnail options. And I'll just go through and be like, well,

Ben's smiling in this picture and Spencer is kind of making a reaction. There's my friends having a good time. I like that. We're not going over. Yeah. Like doing that. Yeah. I'm not,

I'm not going into editor. One would require I'm one would, one would say I'm being lazy. That's kind of part of it. I also work a full-time job, and when I get home... You don't want to sit on a computer all fucking night. I don't feel like going and sitting on my computer and fucking working on a thumbnail that's going to get me nine views. Yeah.

You know, I don't know. Well, and those guys, they have editors. They have a team. They went to school for it. Don't get me wrong. Which makes it even more respectable because you do this podcast because you enjoy doing a fucking podcast. Straight from the heart, yeah.

You know what I mean? You know why I do this podcast? Because my friends go, I love, dude, I love this shit. I fucking... Like you go, I could do another one. I could do a third one. Oh, yeah. You go, I fucking love this shit. Maybe we shouldn't. And you know what? I'm going to go I could go I could do another one I could do a third one Oh yeah You go I fucking love this shit

Maybe we shouldn't And you know what I'm gonna go for it As much It is It is really fun Being right here With the fucking boys

And just bullshitting With beers and whatnot Feeling like we're doing something Not even Even if it like I enjoy re-listening to it Like the one podcast I did with you It was fun

Re-listening to it Re-living the moment But even when I'm not on it like all your other podcasts like when I'm out at work I you know what I'm fucking mowing tea boxes this kind of fucking sucks let me just find one of Jake's podcasts and I listen to it I'm like you know I've been listening along almost kind of like a little bit of white noise but I'm listening and then something funny happens I'm sitting there moat I'm striping them and I'm something funny I was like oh you, I give a little laugh.

You know what I mean? And that, you know what I mean? That is why you do it. And I love it. Of course, you can probably see where Zane laughed is because the turn. He goes like that. He's like, why is that little zigzag there in the tee box? Jake said something funny.

But I'm doing it precisely for that reason you're working at a monotonous job doing something and you just need a little background noise to occupy the anxiety yeah because i have it yep yeah it's something i look i look to to get me through the day is a brainless little, these guys aren't talking about shit. They're just bullshit. I'm not going to turn on fucking a news channel. I'm not going to turn on Joe Rogan and listen to some fucking physicist talk about the fucking, you know what I mean?

It's like I'm not tuned in. I'm not trying to listen. But I want something that brings me a little bit of entertainment when I'm fucking bored. But it's not serious. But it's not serious. It's not serious. That's the thing.

It's not serious. Yeah. This should be called the It's Not That Serious, Bro podcast. Because, yeah, one time a guy was starting to play a Joe Rogan podcast for me. And I was listening to it and they were talking about how AI was becoming dangerous or something or a robot was going to take

and it was like, this shit's giving me anxiety. Yeah. They're talking like the world's going to end soon. You know what I mean? But like, you know, maybe it does or doesn't,

but who fucking cares? Because at the end of the day, whether it does or doesn't, I'm going to wake up tomorrow at six o'clock. I'm going to show up to Wilderness Ridge at seven fucking 30 and I'm going to stripe those fucking tea boxes o'clock. I'm going to show up to Wilderness Ridge at 7 fucking 30, and

I'm going to stripe those fucking tea boxes. I got some grass to mow. You know what I mean? No matter how horrible this world is, who's fucking president, who's this and that, sorry for the politics, but I'm going to wake up. I'm going to go through my daily fucking life no matter how fucking bad the world is.

Until Armageddon happens, it's going to remain the same. Then you take the easy road out. Let's change topics. Okay. We've been ranting quite a bit. We have been ranting. But it's been fun.

It's been fun. Hope you guys take all that to heart. Give me another kiss. Thank you. Let's, in the name of what we were just talking about let's get a little bit brainless yeah yeah i've been waiting for me up baby i've been waiting for the whole podcast i'm ready to shut this brain off i got about eight minutes of the wheeze is getting even worse the throat cancer is showing jake

we all gotta die for something. So I work with both of you. Hey, cheers to that. That's where I see you most of the time. Hey, tap the table. I'm just kidding. Fuck that. No, fuck you.

We all conform! You are bloated. Mirka! Someone, somewhere, just scalped a collar. That'd be awesome. It's okay, it's just scalped a collar. That'd be awesome. It's okay. It's just grass. It'll grow back.

It'll grow back. Sorry. All right. That is the most reassuring thing in grass. Sorry to cut you off again, but... I don't care. The most reassuring thing is when you scalp something or fuck something up. It'll grow back.

It'll grow back. Unless you, like, completely fuck it up. It'll still grow back. It'll still grow back. It'll still grow back. It might just take longer. Yeah. So, I work with you boys. I've had the pleasure of meeting both of you through work.

Yep. We do spend quite a bit of time together outside of work, like what we're doing right now. Correct. However, I'd like to know what you guys do in your free time when i'm not with you at work or outside of work typically when we're hanging out we're doing this getting shit faced and fucking being loud yeah but like you're home you're by yourself what are you doing you get home from work well you like to work out yes i Well, you like to work out. Yes. I don't.

You like to work out. Two different ends of the spectrum right here. Specifically, when you're just trying to chill, what are you doing? You take this, Zane. I'll follow you up. All righty. I'm sorry. You have to turn the brain back on just for a little bit.

Just a little bit. Sorry. Go ahead, you got any shows you're watching? You playing video games? What are you doing? As of recently, I'm not home very much. But you did get a girlfriend. I do got a girlfriend. You hang out with the girl, but she's in Kansas City. She lives in Kansas City.

So I guess we'll talk about the current work here. My lifestyle and life changes like the fucking seasons. So anyways. A man on the go. Yeah. It's a lot of fun, but fuck is it stressful. So as of recently, so during the week, my Monday through Friday. Monday through.

Shit, that alcohol is talking. Anyways, Monday through Friday. We're not high, by the way. No, we just drink... With all these sunglasses? Yeah, no, we're just fucking cool like that. Check my eyes. I'm just fucking cool.

So... You are cool. Yeah. Actually, this one, I don't know. Don't even say that. Ben's the coolest motherfucker I know. No, no, no. And I say that...

That's the high part. I literally just said that. Sorry about that. I'm like, they're not. Yeah. Medusa. No, no, no. I'm not the high part. I literally just said that. Sorry about that. I'm like, they're not. Yeah. Medusa. Medusa. So my Monday through Friday consists of go to work, get off work.

Go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work. Go to work, go to work. Let me check my schedule. Go to work, go to work. My Monday through Friday is go to work. I get off work. I change. What do you do when you get off work? I go to the gym. I go to work. I get off work. I change. What do you do when you get off work?

I go to the gym. I go to the gym. When you get done with the gym? When I get done with the gym, I go home. And then what? I walk in the door, and I go, you know what? Job not finished. Job not finished?

Job finished. You know what? Job is finished. I just worked out. My balls are full of... And you know what? I need to fucking eat. Oh, okay. So I drop my bag off, and I start finished. You know what? I just worked out. My balls are full. And you know what? I need to fucking eat. So I drop my bag off and I start cooking.

What time are we looking at? It's about 6.30, 7 o'clock. Okay. So I cook. What do you cook? Yeah. And is it different each night? Nope.

Or is it kind of typical? Nope. I am the typical. Amen. It is. And I'm your typical man. i am i am the amen it is and i'm i'm your typical man when i go to the grocery store chicken i don't got meals i go in there you know what beef this week this is what i'm eating so right now i went there and i got uh like noodles i don't know what kind of fucking noodles don't fucking matter but i fucking noodles. Don't fucking matter. But I got noodles,

vodka sauce, chicken breast, and green beans. That's what I'm eating this week, Monday through fucking Friday. So protein, greens, grain. Yep. So when I get there,

say Monday, I just got back from the gym. I cook a chicken breast, fry it up, nothing fucking special. It ain't good, but it gets the job done. It's not good?

I mean, it is good. It is good. Do you meal prep at all? You know what? I've tried to. I just can't do it. I can't do it. So you're just going each meal you're just cooking? No.

It's a hybrid meal prep. It's a hybrid meal prep. You're just doing everything. Do you have containers for it? Yep. That's not considered meal prep. What? So say Monday.

So this Monday I have chicken bread. I have chicken breasts, noodles, and vodka sauce. So Monday night dinner, I'm cooking. I'm cooking. So I cook that dinner. But I also cook another chicken breast at the same meal. And then at the same time, that is my lunch for Tuesday. So then I put it in the fridge and I wake up in the morning and I grab it.

And then Tuesday comes and I have dinner. Same fucking thing. Right. And then I also cook double the portions. So it's basically two dinners, two portion sizes. So I eat the one portion for dinner Tuesday, and then I package up the Tuesday one and eat it for lunch on Wednesday. Rinse and repeat until Friday.

And then let's say – I go shopping every Sunday. Do you ever get tired of eating chicken? Nope. Because I've seen videos of people who are like forcing myself to eat my protein goal. And then they're like throwing up. They're like blending it. But no, I don't. Like drinking it.

I'm a fucking doll. You know what? I eat out out of a i have a dog bowl that i eat dinner out of what because i'm a fucking dog like an actual dog bowl yep that's what i put my dinner in every fucking night why because i'm why don't you just get a plastic bowl because i'm a fucking psychopath that's how you know what because you know all all my athletes out there all my athletes out there will relate to this like you got to be to be a like the mindset i mean some people out there might not for those that don't know this i'm a i'm a some can't leave my house i'm a somewhat successful athlete i've played five years of professional baseball but to get to this level or to get to where i have like you got to be slightly like a psychopath yeah and you know i mean no amount of physicality there's a with

without a mindset is there to get you anywhere yeah you have to have a mindset because when you get to the pro level everybody has a physicality exactly if you can run fast throw hard so what i got a hundred million guys back here who can do that. Now, who's the fucking – who's a doll? Who is a grinder? Who brings something different to the table? You know what I mean? And, like, I had a roommate – this was a long time ago, 2019.

And we both did this. We actually both read the David Goggins book book and this is where we got the idea. What is this book I keep hearing? The David, the David got his, how long is it? It's like three, 400 pages.

What is it about? It's just his life story being a fucking. Oh, okay. It's not like a how to. No, no. I hate those how to books.

It's not like if you're a kid, if you're a kid out there, if you're how, how to kid out there and you read a, how to be a fucking great athlete or a mindset that's all fucking bullshit because there's no suck i'm sorry those those books are bullshit and they're all for those authors to make money but david gong his book is just his life story and i read it and i was like dude this dude's a fucking dog he gets it he is a dog he seems like the no amount of talking is earning

me nothing yeah i'll i'll prove it by my actions kind of guy. He seems like the no amount of talking is going to be nothing. Yeah. No. I'll prove it by my actions kind of guy. And he also like. But. That's why I got. He's like a military. Like, I feel like not even. Because he's like, I got to protect. Didn't he do buds multiple times?

Right. Twice. He was just like. He did it twice. Well, fuck. Like, I can do. Like, let me see if I can do this again. Like, I feel like it wasn't even.

They made him quit the first time. Yeah. I was like. I feel like it wasn't even because he wanted to defend his country or anything it was just like he wanted can i do this yeah let me do it it was it was not because he wanted wanted to do it he was like i want to see if i can do it right i want to see how much i can take physically and mentally can i fucking do and that's why he runs these marathons. He's like, I don't love running 300 fucking miles through a desert in 105,

but I want to see if I can fucking do it. You know what I mean? It's not like the feeling is good. Yeah, but he wants to see if he can do it. And that's the same thing with a lot of athletes. I want to see if I can grow organically. Do I genuinely love playing baseball? Not really.

I love the sport, don't get me wrong. Well, yeah, you do Not really. I love the sport. Don't get me wrong. Well, yeah, you do. Okay, I love the sport, but to an extent. You like to push yourself. But I want to see how good I can be. And that's where the love is like, how good can I be at baseball? I know I'm good at it, but the grind of continuing to do it is like,

I want to see if I can fucking make it. I want to see if I can take this buzz ball to the face and then rob a homer. Yes. Like, honestly. It's like, can I fucking do this? Does getting a little bit shit-faced and then playing hungover, does that play a little bit in the, I can do it? Yeah. It does.

Like, I have. I mean, I've never done it, so I have no. But I have. Finish. Sorry. No. I was, I've never done it, so I have no. But you can finish. Sorry. No. I was going to let him talk. But, like, there is.

Like, I have taken shots of fireball 20, 30 minutes before a baseball game, and I've gone out there and played fucking great. Was I drunk? Well, I mean, there's, like, NBA players who get high before games. Oh, there is. During games. Yeah, there is. During games. Yeah, but it's like, so does weed manipulate or make them play worse? Some scientists could say yes.

Probably not if they have extreme tolerance and it doesn't really get them that high. Yes and no. And like, does drugs, like there's been like, there's been professional. Let's let him weigh in on that. I feel like I can speak to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not on an athletic level, but... And then after this, what do you like to do in your free time?

Oh, yeah, okay. But... I'm sorry. You're good, you're good. This kind of answers both questions. So I like playing guitar. Okay. And so...

Ladies, he's single. No, he's not. No, I'm not. He's not? He has a girlfriend, dude. Okay, hold on, hold on. Continue your conversation. We'll get to this next. Zane, we've talked about this. I met her at Candy's wedding. No, he's not. No, I'm not. He's not? He has a girlfriend. Okay, hold on, hold on. Continue your conversation. We'll get to this next.

Zane, we've talked about this. I met her at Candy's wedding. I totally forgot. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Continue. To what? If I get high when I play guitar, there's two ways it can go. Either I don't know what I'm doing, or it's like I may as well be Jimmy Hedges.

You're Van Halen. I may as well be Jimmy Hedges. Okay. Difference can go, but okay. It's probably... Well, no, but... So it's like 90%... Yes, it is.

Or, what did you say? Eddie Van Halen. And what did you say after that? Difference can come, but okay, because you said Jimmy Hendrix. Oh, yeah. He's drunk. And you're like, no.

And I'm like, am I aware? I couldn't hear him. I just said no. But... No. So it's like a 2 out of 10 chance when I'm playing guitar I couldn't hear him. I just said no. It's like a 2 out of 10 chance when I'm playing guitar and I get super fucked up that it's going to go really good. The other 8 out of 10, not much. Would we say this is a coin flip situation? No.

This is more of a roll of the dice. Do coin flips happen? Okay. So with drinking beer, it's a coin flip. With smoking weed, it's a roll of the dice. Well, it depends on what's going on. What am I doing? Golfing? Hey, guys, watch.

It's been a while. Golfing? Golfing, it's more of a coin flip if I'm drinking. Not even. Or high. Ladies and gentlemen. But guitar. He is the greatest fucking golfer i've ever seen is

sober or drunk because there's a lot more to think about when you're playing guitar versus golfing because there's i don't want to be a music snob but there's like chord changes and you got to think about well yeah what notes you're gonna play and how you're gonna to play and how you're going to play it and all that shit. Also, you're depending on hearing physical sense and hearing and to a level. It's almost like a, uh, what do you call it? A balance or a muscle memory. Yeah. There's a bit of that, but with drinking or with playing guitar and drinking or smoking, it's less.

You sound like a horse. What the hell? That was crazy. No, that was not me. That was Zane. You sounded like a legit horse name. Holy shit. Did you hear that?

I heard it, and I was like, is that you or him? That was crazy. That was sick. I tried to cover my laugh up because I didn't want to interrupt this conversation. That might be our opening clip. I feel like I'm speaking gibberish. I'm sorry. 56 minutes.

Horse may? Question mark? I forget what I was talking about. I forget what it is. You're talking about playing the guitar. Muscle memory. Muscle memory and the guitar. Right.

High. I'm sorry. Specifically when you're high. Medusa. It can go either way. That was my main point of what he was saying with playing baseball. It's all muscle memory. It's muscle memory.

No, what he was saying about was proving it to himself that he could do it. Okay, so I guess this is completely different. No, it is. No, no, no. To a degree, it's kind of similar, but whatever. But what was the other, what I do on my free time? Listen, I don't know. What the fuck is going on? I don't Listen, I don't know. What the fuck is going on?

I don't know. I don't know. What are you talking about? I don't know. This is a beautiful country. I don't even know how to wrap what I was saying up. I'm sorry. I fucked everything up.

I'm sorry, Ben. That's fine. You were talking about the guitar. I was honestly, I was invested, but you made me laugh. But what the fuck was, I had a point and I just forgot. Fuck! I'm sorry. Let me try to get there.

Hold on. Beer me. You like, my God. We're actually kind of running low on answer bases. No, we're not. No, we're not. There's a top shelf. Okay, so hold on, hold on.

I was completely invested into this and I fucked it up with my horse laugh. No, no, no. No, no, no. So, okay. So you were talking about when you're high, it makes it harder or... Or it can go both ways. It can go both ways. There we go.

Right. Because there's an amount of mental concentration it takes as opposed to golf, which is more physical. That's like muscle memory. And there's muscle memory. So I feel like it's – what's that talking about? No, that couldn't have been it. Playing – drinking beer is easier to play golf versus playing guitar. That couldn't have been what I was talking about.

No. I have another topic here if we want to get even more stupid. Yeah, bring it up, please. Yes, Ben. First off, Ben, I would like to apologize for fucking up your story. You fucked me up. I did. I fucked it up, and I apologize.

Better yet, comment and help us remember what Ben was talking about. And we'll bring it up next time. We'll bring it up next time So In relation to You being a Gym goer Which by the way which gym do you go to Genesis Health Club

Oh right off Old Chaney Wait what That's so far from where you live It is but For the salt dogs we're able to work out there for free. Oh, no way. So it's worth it.

Even when you're... Okay, quick tangent. Do you have to sign every season? Yes. So you sign a one-year contract every year? Yep. Okay. Genesis doesn't know that.

Okay. Perfect. Sorry. Okay, but I've been working out there for two years. Because I go there during the season and off-season and regular season for the last two years. Because I don't have a scan card. Do you need to see my dog card? I don't have a dog card or anything. My dog tag.

I mean, during the season, I go in the morning. And then last season, I went in the afternoon. It's always the same guy working. So I just walk in. It's like, Ty's working. I'm like, what mean, during the season, I go in the morning, and then last season I went in the afternoon. It's always the same guy working. So I just walk in, and it's like Ty's working. And I'm like, what's up, Nestor? I'm like, what's up, Ty? And he's like, hey, man, what you hitting today? And I'm like, this and that.

You know what I mean? So it's like – Probably PR and business. Am I necessarily supposed to work out? Took a buzz ball. We'll see. Am I necessarily supposed to work out there in the offseason? Probably not, but, like –

Technically not for free since you're not technically a salt but like they don't know that but they know me and like so when we work out there they just have a roster and when you walk in you say hey like i'm zane zerbrook i play for the salt dogs oh and then like they get to know you and then like but like i've done this for so long two years now but like they just know who i am so i'm just just going to continue to milk this free membership. Dude, I hope you take it to the fucking grave. I hope you have a gray beard and you're like, I'm Zane Zerbrook. And he's like, yep.

Yep, Salt Dog legend. Remember that? Yeah, you can come in for free. 25 for 25 for stolen bases. Big deal. And you have an absolute barrel. And you're walking in there just like, I'm a pitching coach now. I'm still associated though.

That doesn't work anymore. Bitch, I've been working out here for 13 years. Related to that, recently you said you're trying to get rid of your six pack. I have been. This is the first time ever.

Because to get rid of your six-pack i have been this is the first time ever i got some pointers because i recommend one medusa i recommend one medusa and one family-sized bag of doritos the greatest medusa on the planet anyways who my question is who decided That dad bods Are a thing Chicks Did they Yes Or Did guys decide

Actually You're gonna have to You're gonna have to like me for what I am Because I'm not working out anymore Because there is a confidence level Of just being like This is it This is what you get

Good luck Is it the charisma of a guy just ripping off his bro tank and showing he doesn't have a six-pack to a girl goes oh my god he's so high he doesn't give a fuck about anything because that's happened to me um god i hope abby's not listening to this but in the breast i guess we'll tell her not to. Yeah, let's find out. Stop listening at one hour. You better tune off. No. Tune off, toots.

Toots. No. But in the brass rail, like, sometimes, like, I'll just go in with a little bit of confidence, and it goes fucking a long way. Ooh, that is a good point. This does play into, there are some smoking hot girls out there that have bars of soap for boyfriends you can like they look like especially in nebraska you can ask gavin there was like a legit uh i was about to do something you know no no no i i was making it seem like

he was ugly and his girlfriend was hot but but they're both fairly... Well, he doesn't have a girlfriend. He doesn't listen to this podcast. No, he doesn't. But if he does, I don't know. But what I'm saying is, you just kind of go in there like, hey, how are you doing? You just talk to him. You talk like you're Italian?

Not like that. An Italian from the 1950s? Hey, how you doing? How you doing, sweetheart? How you doing? I got a pizzeria on 27th Street, Northside. We're going fucking bankrupt. There's an accident there. Go around it.

Keep going. I don't want to misbehave. There's a train. Go around it. But I'm just saying, you just start talking to them like they're a human being. You're clearly trying to fucking pick them up. No, but what I'm saying is. No, he's right.

He is right. Where you go into it not as a... If you're real. Right. You just got to be real, authentic, and confident, and that's all you need.

But if you whip out your six-pack, someone's like, that guy's insecure. But that's kind of like what you're talking about is like the people who fake like the clickbait titles to get views.

I'm not saying you're insecure. You're a professional athlete and you have to maintain physique. No, Zayn's got charisma, a fucking personality and he's ripped. He's got the trifecta. Dude, he's hitting the trip. It's almost a slap in the face. You know what it is? Actually,

let's have some drama. It's almost a slap in the face for him to look at us in the face and go I'm getting tired of my six pack. I'm thinking about getting... You know what, James? Fuck me, right? Yeah, fuck me.

Fuck you. You know what? Sorry, I'm trying to downgrade my status so I can fit in. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You're trying to fit in

with us? You should not. I want to be one of you. No, you don't. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Back on the topic of dad bods. Yes.

Okay. Who decided? That is a great This is a This is a pretty new thing Four or five years ago It kind of went viral didn't it Where dad bods Were kind of trending

How come all of a sudden Dad bods Specifically Dad bods are hotter Than like being ripped And having a six pack Is this Could this just be society

lowering maybe this is just lazy america radical lazy america you know what we got a bunch of fats nobody's nobody's fit anymore no nobody goes to the gym so let's just say fat people are cool. Well, no, because... Sorry to get like... 90% of us are morbidly obese, so that's just going to have to be what's hot. Let's lower the standard. No. Okay.

We're going to have to lower the standard. If you're over 285, you're no longer cool. I feel like chicks for a while were like... Like the six-pack was in. Because it was was hot. Well, yeah. I mean, if you're ripped, that's hot. You know how like... That's pretty standard, I feel like.

Exterior's kind of... It's not permanent. It's like... The longevity. Right. Longevity. And I feel like the older we got, because we're all aging, of course. Okay, okay.

So it's a generational thing. Girls are saying like, yeah, so maybe. Girls are not looking for who's the hottest, but who would I want to spend time with and who makes me laugh. Yeah. And they can kind of overlook that shit in the bedroom when you take your top off and you got bigger tits than her. Yeah, she can just turn the lights off. Right. You know what I mean? Turn the lights off. I don bigger tits than her. Yeah. She can just turn the lights off. Right. You know what I mean?

Turn the lights off. I don't got to look at him. She's like, I'm out. I'm going to look at him while I'm fucking him. I just got to fuck him. But in the morning, you know what? He's going to have a shirt on and he's going to make me laugh. He's going to make me coffee and he's going to have a shirt on.

I don't want to look at him while I'm fucking him. And you know what? By golly, he can read Good Night Moon to my kid. And you know what? He's fat. And in the morning, probably going to make a good breakfast. I swear to God. That guy knows how to make food.

That's what I think. That guy can cook. I think the older you get, the less chicks care about who's hot. So you think it's our generation getting older. That's a very good point. Who can take care of you? I think that is a good point. Because I bet you if you talk to high schoolers right now which sounds crazy but they

would be like yeah you know everybody from the football team the wrestling team the basketball team they're all the hot guys yeah but then you talk to them their senior year at college that's very insightful this is gonna be like oh no i'm dating a guy who's 280 pounds but you know what i can't stop laughing and he he takes care of me. He's got a good stable job. He pays the bills. He's got a house. What's the joke where you can be ugly but if you can make her keep laughing then her eyes will be

shut and she won't see you. That's all I'm running off of right now. I'll take it one step further. You know what Ben? The more and more I get to know you the more and more I fucking love and respect you. Maybe I'm not a retard. Dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

He's an onion, dude. You just keep peeling back the layers. Let me rip that sat phone. It legit is a sat phone. It is. Hit that. Hello? No, no, but the stars pop up.

Hey, Mom. It's lit. You keep peeling back the layers, dude. You find more. Okay. I'll take it one step further Go Back in the renaissance time If you were fat

That means you were Sign of wealth That means you were wealthy And successful Cause you put food on the table If you were ripped with a six pack You're like Who's this fucking scavenger

Caveman who has to kill a tiger To get a fucking Bite to eat. God damn it. Yeah. We're getting off the rails. I'm kind of ripped. Is that ripped?

Shit, I'm ripped, too. Hey, we're getting in the topic of being ripped. We enter ripped. Let's talk about 9-11. So they did it with box cutters? Why did the towers fall vertically? Oh, shit. It's a conspiracy!

Oh, now we're just turning into Joe Rogan. The aliens took the planes with box cutters! If you talk long enough and you drink enough, you divulge back into what you're trying not to be. I'm a woman. Okay. My pussy's white. Okay, anyways.

I'm getting ready to need to pee. Oh, can I bring this up? Bring it up. So everybody knows breaking the seal, and this is reminding me. Breaking the seal when you're drunk and then you piss. Then you gotta piss like every fucking 20 minutes or whatever. If you break the seal and then start drinking, do you reset the seal? Yes.

I don't think there's a seal. There's never a seal. That was just taking a piss. You're just taking a piss. I think you just had to pee because you were adequately hydrated. Or just had to piss. Sure. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. No. Okay. Breaking the seal is not a term until you took your first sip of alcohol. Until you start boozing? Yep, until you start boozing. Just checking.

Until you start boozing. The seal is an alcohol term. Well, if I start drinking, am I just going to have to fucking piss every ten minutes? I don't think there's an actual elf in your body that's gatekeeping. 100% there's a gatekeeper. The little alcohol man in your body that's gatekeeping. 100% there's a gatekeeper. The little alcohol man in your... Like, I peed before this, and then I drank 32 ounces of liquid, and now I have to pee. Of ghost energy drinks.

Right. Well, look, because I've had this happen where it's like... Even more. Whatever. You go to the rail yard, watch a Nebraska game. And it's weird how it's like as soon as you piss, it's like every 15 minutes. Like, I'll piss my pants right now. Like, if you don't go...

Well, have you noticed... Did you get a burp? Nope. Nope? Oh, okay. Have you noticed if you're, like, not drinking at all... Let me talk to you because you've probably done this. Okay.

You have your jug of water because you're a gym dude. You're a gym dude. Guilty. You have your jug of water. Yep. You're not drinking all day. Nope. You're not pissing constantly.

Mm-mm. But you down half of it. Yep. And you start pissing and pissing and pissing. Yeah, it hits you like a fucking... There's no alcohol in that. No. You go to the rail yard.

You haven't been drinking like a degenerate all day. You just got to the rail yard. So you start pounding drinks. It doesn't matter if the seal is broken or not. The piss is going to start coming. You know what? Hey, Jamie. Hey, Jamie.

How much alcohol does it take to make a man break the seal like what is that you know what i mean like how many like sometimes like i'll drink four beers and then all of a sudden i have to piss you know what i mean like well jay how many there is is it is it is it because you're your body's absorbing the alcohol and you're getting drunk and then all the water in the beer or whatever, does that just have to come out? Like, why do when you get drunk, do you just start having to take a piss? It is crazy how... It is interesting because like...

Do you want me to shatter your world? Shatter it. Break it. We're alcoholics. The idea that breaking the seal is a physiological myth that refers to the belief that after urinating for the first time while drinking alcohol, you will need to urinate frequently. However, there is no biological barrier in the bladder that is broken when you urinate for the first time while drinking. Alcohol does affect the bladder and the urge to urinate in a number of ways, including diuretic effect. Alcohol suppresses the production of vasopressin, a hormone that causes the body to produce more urine.

So alcohol actually suppresses the need to pee. I feel like it's contradicting because... Bladder irritation. Alcohol can irritate the bladder within 20 minutes of drinking. Caffeine. Alcohol drinks that contain caffeine, like energy drinks and cola, can increase the need to urinate due to caffeine diuretic effects. So if you're drinking Captain and Cokes...

You're going to pee more. But hold on. We've had one buzz ball, and I don't know. There's a bunch of bakuras out here. But I have to pee right now, and I'm holding it back because I want to stay on the podcast. To avoid urinary tract infections, it is important not to hold a urine when the urges arise. I'll be right back. Guys, try not to get a UTI right now.

Shut up. I'll be right back. Hey, shut up. That's pretty good uh drinking water alongside alcoholic beverages and afterward can help prevent dehydration dude why do we ever bring that guy on the i hope they heard that are we still recording yeah we're good while breaking the seal remains an urban legend alcohol does have a real impact on the bladder and the urinary urinate.

Oh, shit. Drinking alcohol, whether it's one whiskey or three PBRs, intensifies the need to go. It can be shots, beer, volume. Booze. Isn't necessary. We bring the booze. I timestamped this one voice sound effect it sounds like it makes it sound like you're in the other room listen to this listen to this it makes

it sound like I'm in the other room this is the sound my I'm back this is the sound my bladders making right now let. Let me out. I need to pee right now. Holy shit. Mine's like, thank you. How was that piss, by the way? It was great. It felt good. It was good.

On a scale of one to tremendous, what are you talking? Good. Did you guys see the church of what's happening now is coming back? Okay, so that's just the name of Joey's podcast, right? But with Lee Syatt. I know, but that's just their straight. Because they had a podcast that was like the Tuesday update. No, but that's different.

I'm pretty sure, you know how it was like three hours? Jesus Christ. I think they're going back. Don't use the Lord's name in vain. Sorry. I was quoting Ben. Jeez. That's what you love to do. You love to go, Jesus Christ.

Right. But, um... I love watching videos of people that are stupid enough to take a star of death on the pod. And then they have to get up and leave halfway through because they're like, I'm freaking the i've always wanted to take a star death what's a star death it's a 250 it depends on i think it's 250 there's multiple versions it's a 250 milligram edible but i'm pretty sure it's too because no because i've looked at the website so there's a 50 100 250 i think there might be a 500 too because it was like a guy who would make... Like, it was one...

Like, it wasn't even... Some guy in his mom's garage. Yeah, pretty much. I think it was. Just cooking up edibles. Yeah, edibles. That one's about... It's 150.

This one's a lot. But it was funny. It's like, just... We'll just call that one 500. Just eat a corner. Just eat a corner. And then they'd just be like, duh, duh. And then Joey's like

Yeah He's popping it like It's a fucking aspirin Oh the funny ones too is I think Tom Sakura told it But it was You know Or you just point at the fridge

And make it sound The fridge was making noise I was just pointing at it No but He would do a thing where Fuck what was i talking about tom sakura oh yeah no because he'd be like uh it's a 10 milligram tom and then he'd give it to 10 milligram tommy right and then he'd give it to him he'd eat it and then he'd pop like

three of them yeah and then tom would be dude, are you fucking high as shit? And he's like, thumbs up, girl. I'm having a panic attack right now. So you might be referring to the joke Tom has in his special where Joey dosed him. Right. Where he gave Tom, I think like a plane. I think. Okay.

So there's a lot of stories they were in a green room for someone's show and he was like how much are he was like how much is this and he was like i'm not taking it and joey's like it's 10 and so tom fucking took it and someone else took it and then the second he took it joey went oh and then he went and did a special And it ended up being like 200 Milligrams or something like that And Or maybe it was 500 I don't know And Joey took like 2 so Joey was on 1000

Milligrams Yeah and then he went on stage And performed and Tom's like What you're referring to is Tom was like How are you fucking Functioning right now and he's like i almost had a fucking heart attack yeah but two heart attacks but tom was freaking out and the guy he was with it hit him later yeah and he was like the guy tom was with went back to his hotel room had an insane panic attack was like violently ill in his room

and he was fighting the urge that some voice in his head was telling him to jump off the balcony of his hotel maybe that's like maybe that's how high that guy got maybe that's why that one guy from one direction killed himself maybe maybe he was so high. Joey Diaz was like, take a stab, motherfucker. Hold on. He didn't kill himself. I understand he fell off the balcony, but maybe there was some foul play. Wait, is there foul play involved? Either foul play or...

I don't know. I don't care. I was just saying outside factors contributed to it. Maybe he was so high he was paranoid. i know a lot of jump cocksucker you know what i mean like i do know the devil tonight bitch like i i remember i i went through a stoner phage in high school first year of college but there was this one time i went out with my buddies and we were smoking at a park we were smoking weed and i went back home i was a senior in high school and i got back home and i went into my room and i was so fucking high

closed the door i tried to play video games but i got so paranoid and i was panicking so i was like you know okay when you say paranoid what were you paranoid about like just like so because my parents are there and they at the time they didn't know that i because most of the time people say i was paranoid that I was going to get in trouble. Yes. That's not what happens to me. I just get extremely anxious. I was actually paranoid because I got back home, and my parents, at the time, my parents thought I was an angel.

They never knew I drank or smoked, but I've been doing it for years. So I got back home, and I was in in my room and i was playing video games and i had my door closed and i was like i got paranoid that my parents knew that they could smell the weed or this and that and like my heart rate was racing we've all been through that one so i was like you know what i'm gonna go out on our porch and i'm just gonna sit down and relax so i went out there and i sat on her porch like there was like some stairs and i was laying on my back it was like 10 10 30 and my mom i remember my mom opened the door and she was like like what are you doing and like i was dude probably you're like close to the highest watching porn yeah closest to the highest i've ever been i was was like, I'm dying. I'm fucking dying. You said that to your mom?

I did. You told your mom you were dying? Yep. Fuck. And I didn't know she was freaking out, so she closed the door. She went back inside. She closed the door on you and went back inside? And I'm still laying on the porch.

What? No, it seems like... I think that's a reasonable response. You know what? She went to my dad, and they called 911. Oh, my God. Fuck off. They did. We should have saved this story for a reasonable response. You know what? She went to my dad, and they called 911. Oh, my God. They did. We should have saved this story for a different episode.

They pulled up to the store, and you know what? And I'm still sitting there, and I'm just high, and I'm trying to relax. I'm trying to bring my heart rate down, trying to come back down to earth. I'm on fucking Pluto. And all of a sudden, five, ten minutes go by. I see some paramedic lights and a fire truck pull up. And I remember I sit up and I look up. I'm like, wow, you know what?

Shit, maybe old man Jenkins across the street finally hit the fucking can. Maybe he finally died. I'm like, why is the paramedics and firemen here? And they're walking towards my house with like a you know what's that little thing a stretcher and my mom and dad come outside and they're standing right behind me and i'm like now i'm really like anxious i look up i'm like this is this for me and i look over here and they come up to me and my mom she's freaking out he's right here he's right here my dad's sitting there like this he said he's dying they come up to me and my mom, she's freaking out. He's right here. He's right here.

My dad's sitting there like this. He said he's dying. They come up to me and I have no idea what the fuck's going on. I feel like, how are you feeling son? Like, how are you doing? I'm like,

I'm good. I'm good. And like, they're putting like the EKG that, you know, they're putting like a heart rate thing on my finger and I'm just rolling with it. I'm like, what the fuck's going on?

Well, and you're rolling. Yeah. And I'm so now i'm more even more scared and my mom's like yeah he said he was dying this and that my heart rate's fine my blood pressure's good you know like like what's going on i was like fuck i can't lie i was like i i smoked some weed earlier i'm like okay like how much i was like i don't know a couple blunts like with my buddies my mom's like do you have any weed like this and that i'm like yeah i got some in my room she's like she tells me bob bob go in his room and find it my dad comes out with like two jars of weed he's like what's right here and they open it up and they look at it no is it laced with anything i was like no it's just weed it's just weed no okay he's just weed. It's just weed. I'm like, oh, he's just high. And my mom's freaking out.

She still thinks I'm dying. And my dad's probably sitting there like this fucking idiot. My dad, he's probably pissed. We're paying for this. He's pissed. Fucking it. You know what I mean? And they're like, and like the paramedic, I remember they're like sitting on their knees

and I'm sitting here. I'm more embarrassed at this point. Right. Because like I told my mom this, I'm just trying to play it off, and she actually called 911. I know my mom did it. My dad was probably like, whatever. He's fucking high. Your dad was like, if he dies, he dies.

Yeah. My mom's just freaking out. And they ended up putting it like, yeah, you're just high. You're fine. I'm like, I know I'm fine. I was just trying to get outside and avoid it. But I actually don't remember telling my mom this, but I kind of do and they're like yeah you're high like maybe just like eat some something you'll be fine and they end up packing all the up all their shit and they leave

my mom's like my mom got fucking pissed at you or them me you she was like because this is the first time she ever knew i smoked weed I was like 18 I've been smoking since I started smoking When I was 15, 16 Drinking and whatnot It took you that long To get caught Yeah

Damn dude I was good I was I'm a sneaky motherfucker I'm a sneaky Okay I was really good At sneaking out

Okay So anyways And she ends up Doing all this thing And like I remember she ended up Getting pissed I don't remember I was so high I don't remember What the fuck she said And I remember she ended up getting pissed. I don't remember.

I was so high. I don't remember what the fuck she said. But I remember she ended up going in. She was fucking going like this. And I was like, yeah, whatever, toots. She was yapping. And I was like, dude. I remember sitting there.

I had my arms crossed sitting on the stage. You don't have to say that into the mic. Shut up, toots. Oh, I thought you said shout out. Shut up, bro. And shut up, toots. But I remember sitting there for another 30 minutes, like, just being, I was, that's the most embarrassed I've ever been in my life. Because I was sitting there still high.

I was like, I wonder what these paramedics and firemen are thinking. I know they're going back to the fucking firehouse, like, this fucking guy, fucking loser. We had to leave and this and that. And my mom goes back in. And I remember I ended up sneaking away and going to bed and i i was so fucking embarrassed and my mom and dad never brought it up they never fucking wanted to forget it i think we they were probably just as embarrassed as i was because my mom probably genuinely thought i was fucking dying my my dad was probably pissed because my mom went in the house probably freaking out like oh my god zane's on the porch he's laying on his back dying

he's probably like fuck let him fucking die i don't gotta fucking pay for his food anymore fuck that kid he was an accident anyways and that's a joke and so but like that was that's hands down probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life is when i was so high when i fought and you know what and i got a cot and you know what i smoked every day i continued to smoke and they they cared but they never said anything yeah but i had a similar experience but i never called the cop or anybody. I didn't. She did. My mother.

Love you, Mom. Are you going to tell your parents to listen to this episode? My mom knows about this podcast. I just might. No. She should listen to this. You know what? They should.

It would be a great story. No, because I told her don't. How are your parents not chill if they... They are chill, but I don't... Huh? Lip read that again? You know what? Maybe they shouldn't.

We talk about cum. How are your parents not chill? Well, about the drinking... They don't like the drinking and driving stories. Correct. Nobody should drink and drive. Right, correct. That's irresponsible.

Shout-outs to the Shoutout to Uber Shoutout Shoutout And Lyft This video is sponsored by Uber Let's do an ad break This video

I'm just kidding I got a piece of fucking bed Go ahead Sorry But yeah We were at a county fair I took a rip of I love the adjectives

Associated with smoking weed I took a rip And it was I took a pull I took a So you guys know like a weed carton It looks like Oh yeah

Dude this shit was like We all saw one today Crystallizing to the The fucking The outside Like There were crystals. And I ripped it probably four times, like as long as you can.

What's the difference between a rip and a hit? A rip is a rip. I'm just kidding. I'm just fucking with you. I'm just kidding. Let's keep going. But they're the same thing. So I took them.

I remember from, so we got out of school about 3.30. I took probably four. I don't remember from five to when I woke up. Jesus Christ. Except actually. So you dreamed out. He took a rip. Oh, I dreamed out.

What I remember, too, is my buddy fucking somebody on the couch. Because I was dead asleep in the sleeping bag, and there was a couch behind me. And I woke up, and I turned around. A chick's ass and a guy's balls just what just slapping his ass it was a nice ass oh but dude i swear yeah so i wake up to that i believe you and i just go to bed i'm like i like i'm still high when i wake up i'm just like all right we're going back to bed this isn't real wait wait you saw balls what are you talking about okay so imagine how'd you see balls sleeping on a beanbag you were sleeping

on a beanbag so right i'm here the couch is elevated from the beanbag okay the couch is at an elevated position well it's like a foot above the bean bag. So I'm looking up, and they're on top of me. But behind me on the couch. But if I look up, I just see ass, asshole, balls just. Asshole? Dude, I'm legit right below them. Was there hair on the asshole? No.

I'm just trying to get a mental picture. Just take me there. I was like 16. The hair on the asshole for chicks at least not there. There's no waxing It might be so I don't know might be a hair or two. I Wasn't looking too hard. No. Yeah, okay, but whatever Yeah, and I woke up And then I like I Asked my friend when I woke up And he's like

What happened last night And he's like Dude you tried to call the cops Like three times You did Yeah Oh my god I don't even remember

I didn't think this whole podcast Would just Come into your most Life threatening Cause Apparently Weed stories We got on a

We went to the county fair And there was like What's that thing I ain't a sellout The Ferris wheel Sure And that When we We went to the county fair and there was like, what's that thing? I ain't a sellout. Ferris wheel. Sure.

Yeah, the Ferris wheel. When we hit the top, I was like, we're going to die. Oh, shit. Shoot me. Pretty much. Apparently, I pulled my phone and I started calling 911. You had 911. No, no. I called them.

No way. And my buddy saw that I called him and he ripped the phone from me and was like, no. No. And that happened like three times. And eventually, I think I- Three times? No, I eventually just called him. And they were like, no.

You remind me- No, what are you talking about? You're kind of penciling yourself into a kid from an 80s movie that they're just like, what do you want now, Ben? Like they know you. Pretty much. Fuck. Ben's calling 911 again. You're fine, son.

You're just high. That hold away kid. Get some Cheetos. That hold away kid must be high again. He's calling us. No, and that happened to my buddy too. But not when he was high. He blacked out drunk.

And you know how when you, if you spam power button it call it's emergency call yeah so i hear like and i'm like sober i'm sober at this point i just hear i'm like dude your alarm's going off and he's like wake up his phone and there's 911 just called and i'm like we're good nobody needs to come and they're like what i'm like you actually spoke to a dispatch like sober yeah but sober i was like we're good nobody needs to come and they're like what i'm like you actually spoke to a dispatch like sober yeah but sober i was like please you're good like i uh it was a butt dial i swear to god it was sorry for wasting your time and yeah and they thank god didn't get they didn't come but yeah well i can't condone getting so high that your mom calls 911 or you yourself call 911. That's when you know you're high.

What I can condone is subscribing to the Grass Daddies on YouTube and following us on Spotify and Apple Podcasts if you want audio only. Don't forget TikTok. Also follow us on TikTok because we are posting some fucking hilarious videos over there and if you are not following you are in fact wasting your fucking time. Boom! Thank you guys all for

watching. Yes. Until next time keep the milligrams low keep the beer flowing never get out milligram and don't break the seal amen good podcast boys Good podcast, boys. I might use that. Perfect.

It's lit! Wait, hold on. It's lit!