Grass Daddies Podcast - Episode 62: Best Podcasters

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast Jake is once again joined for a lengthy episode by Zane and Ben. The boys prove just how good they are at podcasting by pulling random topics from the internet to run with. Topics included how they would describe each other, what their ideal weekend would look like, and what some of their weirdest dreams were... SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Zane's Instagram: @zane_zurbrugg Tik Tok: @grassdaddies podcast @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

oh doctor doc pause whoa those big gloves are digging in quick doctor disrespect my body yeah and i'm just dr disrespect but i just have a fucking beer barrel and i just have like taco and i'm joined once again i think i might be having deja vu because i feel like it wasn't that long ago that you guys were sitting at this table before me to record an episode ben and spencer welcome back big round of applause from the studio audience you are allowed to talk oh you just called me is this a bit or did i really yeah oh shit that wasn't a bit i thought you were fucking with him i thought you were too that's why i didn't say anything and i was just staring at you i'm so used to having you guys on yeah

wow ben i used to think I was a special guest. Zen and Bane. Ben and Zane. That's actually what I. Now I'm just a filler act. I actually have Bane and Zen on my notes. Fuck you. Because the other day at work, one of our bosses said Zen and Bane.

He didn't mean to. Yeah. But. It was early in the morning. Zane, I'm sorry. You know. Glad to be here. Thanks for having zane i'm sorry you know glad to be here thanks for having i'm glad you're here i'm glad you could fill in for our for our other guests that are i guess have bigger and better things like what do they have a life or something like come support their

friend trying to like make a creative dream and you know starting from the scratch in his fucking mom's basement this is shit but uh you might be wondering why i got this on we had some shots fired at your boy on the old grass daddy's tiktok there is some fucking low life wannabes haters just jumping in the comment sections and just throwing some hate at your boy so you know what and we love it jealous at the bring the hate your success i'm trying to stay you know protected you know if they go for a rib shot you got me but the vital organs okay Jealous at the Bring the hate Your success I'm trying to stay You know Protected You know if they go for a rib shot You got me but

The vital organs Okay They're staying protected We're staying protected At all costs Jake's standing here like Make America great again What'd you do?

Shots fired and they missed Oh He's still living and breathing Fight The grass daddies live on Is that what he yelled? Fight Oh that's what he that what he yelled? Fight? Oh, that's what he...

I thought he yelled, like, fuck at first. Fuck! My ear hurts! Jesus Christ! Anyways. Do you guys want to crack open the old mini fridge

and see... take a gander at what it's got for us? The old magic mini fridge. All right, they unlocked it. Open sesame. What do we got? Some fucking premium Michelob Ultra.

Michelob Ultra. Superior light beer. See, the moment we sat down, it knew Spencer wasn't here because apparently Spencer can't drink these because they give him a hangover. I think we, in the name of human science, should obliterate every single one of the beers in there. Yes.

And then, well, you didn't hear why. Oh. You're just like, I'm down. Yeah, you didn't have to tell me. But I'm kind of curious if this gives us a hangover or not. Then we can report to Spencer like, hey. Your theory is bullshit. It's if we stop now, though.

Are these twist-offs? Because I really wanted to. I did just try it. Oh, they are. God damn it. Can you pop them? I mean, you can still use it for the culture. Can you?

Yeah, why not? I'm sure it still works. Because I got this, if you like to gamble. When some lose, some it's all the same to me. Can you really? I mean, it's all the same to me. Can you really? I mean, it's not the same, like, you don't get the fff. Yeah, you need the fff. Do you want to use the...

The ace of spades, the ace of... Oh, here. The ace of spades. I'll do it for the culture. Can you twist it back on? You're going to twist it back on and then pop it open with the... There we go. With the ace of spades. I'll do it for the culture. Can you twist it back? You're going to twist it back on and then pop it open with the Asus.

How do you use it? Which side do you? Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, you already opened this. You probably could have just flicked it off. Isn't that nice, though? It's a fucking metal Asus. Thank you guys all for tuning in to another episode.

Once again, here on a Friday. Hey, we do have to clink our glasses really quick because we have to celebrate our first weekend off let's go of the season cheers boys we can really enjoy our friday today because it is our first weekend off of the season and you got husker football tomorrow? Are you deleting that? It's so cold. I was trying to. I just can't. That's pretty tasty.

Speaking of the cold, we've been braving the cold this week, putting out Christmas lights. How are you guys feeling about it? We're basically done. I showed up on the last day of it, so I feel pretty good about it. I think Ben started to understand how I'm feeling about it for the last hour of work.

With that one tree you helped me with? No. The very, very last tree. Which one did you do? The very tall one? And I lost my cool. I had to walk away. No, that was the one before that.

Oh, it was the one before. The last two trees. You already that was the one before that. Oh, it was the one before. The last two treats. You already left to take the lift back. Spencer disappeared, and it was me, Ben, Brick, and Bruce. Bruce has some ideas. Brick, Ben, and Bruce.

He did have ideas. They were not good ones. Like on how to do it they were not good ones like how to do it or it was just like on how to do it and like let's how many trees you think i hung this week about 30 a majority and for for the for the listeners out there we're not just hanging christmas lights on on some little draping them on we're not draping them on. These aren't trees that you're putting in your fucking living room. No. Right. These are 30, 40 foot fucking trees.

Right. And we did. And we're using painter's poles. Yeah. Fully extended to get them up. And how many trees are there? You say 50? I'd say that's probably a fair number.

We did about 50 trees. And we did all of them in a week. And I'd say I did about 20, 20, 25. I'd say I hung at least half of them. That's a pretty good number. I would say you probably had your hands on at least half of them. And I was on edge today. I got two hours of sleep.

I was on two hours of sleep. Couldn't sleep last night. Wait, what? Yeah, I couldn't sleep last night. Talk to the psychologist, Jake. Well. Well, we'll get that later. Nah, I mean, I just couldn't sleep.

So I'm waking up Friday. A lot of milligrams, a lot of caffeine. just jake well we'll get that later nah that we i mean i just couldn't sleep so i'll wake it up friday a lot of milligrams a lot of caffeine and i'm last hour of the day i'm just ready to fucking go home ready to drink ready to hang out with the boys and the just the last two trees just the the lights were getting tangled caught i couldn't hook the top it came off twice and i just started losing my i just was like just getting pissed it's always gonna happen when you're i mean and that is the worst scenario because you know when you're like having a bad day and nothing's working right you hit every stoplight on the way into work your belt loop gets caught on like the door handle like every you hip

check yourself on the corner of the table it's the best It's like a It's like a why me It's like a But then you're doing Something like Christmas lights And it's like That's to a T The most frustrating thing Yeah

Well then you Fucking fell down a tree I mean Oh Oh I didn't really You did scrape The shit out of me Oh I scraped all the

Skin off my knee So the second time The The After the hook fell off the tree It it was like dangled in there. It was tangled up. And I just looked at Ben. I was like, fuck it.

I'm going to climb the tree and grab it. And I tried to put my... The skinny one on the right? Yeah. That was stupid. But I just... Not the tall one. It seems pretty flimsy.

It was pretty flimsy. No, no, no. You know the birch tree? Oh, the river birch? Yeah. I tried to use my legs to kind of weed my way out. And I got about, I don't know, what, three, four feet up. And my boots, Cam's boots, they're pretty.

They're old boots. And they slipped and I fell all the way down. And my knee scraped the fucking bark all the way down. And I looked at Ben and I go, take the pole. I need a break. Happens to the best of us. It does. But hey, we got to figure it out.

Christmas lights are done. They are pretty much done. I think the only thing we have left is the back railing, which that could get done next week. We're not doing it. No big deal. We can get that done in an hour, so we'll make it take a day. We'll make sure it's on Monday, so Ben has to help. I feel like Club has to do it.

No, he got fired. Fuckers. Honest. R do it. No, he got fired. Fuckers. Honestly. R.I.P. Dana. Yeah, dude. Rest in peace, Dana. Rest in peace to Dana. Dana Carvey?

Dana White? I don't know who we're talking about. It's fine to be a good pod, but did Gabe fire that guy? No, Gabe has no control over him. No, but do you think he said something? Do you think the contraband had anything to do with it? No. You don't think so?

No. He was just doing nothing. Gabe is honestly so chill about that kind of thing because... Even though it was, which I don't believe. Well, okay. What is that? For one, they no longer drug test for marijuana. Yeah.

Can't be smoking on the job, though. Well, yeah. But it's federally oh this is a private company though also i don't know i don't know the legal laws on these also i will say gabe is pretty chill about like there's this one kid i remember that when he was coming to work here gabe was like you gotta go take a drug test and then he kind of was like and Gabe's like are you gonna pass it and he's like probably not he's like okay well I won't make you go today then if you can stay off it for like a few days then you can go then so that is at least he did that that is nice yeah I mean I don't think he really cares. And it's also not... If it was one of his guys, he might have said something,

but he's kind of like a... Just like a maintenance guy up at the clubhouse. Yeah, like, what is he doing? Fixing squeaky door hinges? Scrubbing the carpet? I can't imagine there's too much maintenance on that building. Is it Motorcycle Kid? I don't want to say...

I mean, I guess it doesn't matter. No, it wasn't him. It wasn't Hayden? No, it was another kid but um yeah Christmas lights are pretty much done

I keep forgetting like because we do Christmas so early it's like we I don't get a chance to fully appreciate Thanksgiving

yeah so I am excited for Thanksgiving you know I don't get a chance to fully appreciate Thanksgiving. Yeah. So I am excited for Thanksgiving, you know. But even then, it would be more enjoyable, I think, doing the Christmas lights if it was after Thanksgiving. Yeah. Because now my spirit isn't, like, I'm in the Christmas spirit. Right. But we're hanging Christmas lights.

You start associating Christmas with work. Yeah. And you kind of become a little bit of a Grinch. That is what turned Spencer into the Grinch. Yeah. Which. That's where Spencer is right now. He's currently.

It's on that mountain. Robbing. Could you imagine? I hate Christmas. I hate it. Up on the mountain. Him and. All frozen. Fuck what's the dog's name? Max. But it. Up on the mountain. Him and... All frozen. Fuck, what's the dog's name?

Max, but it's Indy. Yeah. We should make a Photoshop. We should. That would piss him off so bad. Oh, we should get him. I might buy Indy the single horn. Oh.

That he puts on him. Honestly, Spencer loves sleeping in pajamas. So if you got him like some cozy Grinch pajamas I bet he would actually fuck with them. Probably, and then get into the thing. Yeah. There's gotta be like a little dog Grinch like outfit thing. Or he can fucking man up and shoot a deer once

and then we can get a horn on there. Dude was hunting for a week and didn't get any. He's going tomorrow though. I didn't realize he told me deer season's nine days rifle oh but still that's insane nine days i mean it's like you think that's really long or no sure yeah it seems like not very long i think it's gonna be like a month or something or it's different state to state i know it's different in washington also by doing it like over a week

day some people are probably just like i need need a couple days to, like, travel to a hunting spot. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It should be, like, nine weekend days. I don't know how that would work. I don't know. Every weekend in November?

I don't know. I'm ignorant to it because I don't hunt. I'm ignorant. You know, I'm ignorant. I'm ignorant. What's your guys' favorite holiday? Oh, good question. It's got to be Christmas, I think.

Just give a reason for? It's probably just the most happy holiday. Everybody seems to be kind of in a good mood for the most part. And it's the most, it's the holiday that's associated the most with our childhood. Childhood for sure. We're totally on the same wavelength. We all got so, at least for me and I know a lot of people,

but all the childhood memories of opening up Christmas presents, you know, your whole family's there, like the lore of Santa, you know, waking up in the morning, like believing in something like that. Like it's just,

it's a warm, fuzzy feeling when you like reflect back on those good days of your childhood. Well, in the same way that we are now associating Christmas with work, it was the opposite when we were kids. Because when Christmas time starts rolling around, you're like, I'm going to get a week off of school here coming up, where I get to go hang out with my cousins.

Yeah, get to play video games on the weekday. It's the one time you get something. You know? There's no other holiday. I don't get shit all year you can call your birthday a holiday but there's really

no other holidays during the year that you get presents for it yeah I guess and then as you get older the fun part

everyone loves goodies the fun part almost becomes buying the presents for others oh yeah it is so much more satisfying now especially if you have

like nieces or nephews and you can buy them like a cool toy and you get to see the reaction of what you... You get to give a little bit of the Christmas magic instead of receiving it. Giving it's way better. Giving's better than receiving? Correct.

Pause. Play. It's Christmas, goddamn it. But do you feel like as you... Play But But Yeah It's Christmas god damn it But Do you feel like as you If we get a little harmony going here That'd be great

Happiness Oh That's not what I was saying What song did you I thought No no no I thought the next line was I don't know the lyrics

Christmas time is here Everyone is queer Is that I thought that was all right let me get another beer i got like i got loud one time scraping the mic up oh that's fucking that was a disaster so um i didn't know what was going to be in the mini fridge obviously but uh thankfully i decided to display my budweiser bucket here which i'm collecting bottle caps in because one day yeah look at that bank town bank town

from way back oh good thing i never played basketball or i did i was never that good one day i do have aspirations potentially for the podcast making a table with the bottle caps and the epoxy on top that would be sweet it would be pretty cool to do like make a new podcast table yeah maybe one that's not so skinny like it's a little bit could you even do that with like the beer boxes or whatever put epoxy over the beer boxes or whatever? Put epoxy over the beer boxes? Or would that like deteriorate? I think it'd be shitty.

The only thing I'd be worried about and I didn't really realize this was a thing is during the chemical reaction of the epoxy like getting hard I think it gets really hot.

Oh really? Yeah. I didn't really know that but apparently the epoxy gets really hot so it's just burning it well i don't know if it would burn it or warp it or if it would like be so heavy it would flatten it out and it wouldn't it's obviously not going to catch it on fire but it could like bleed some of the ink or whatever exactly it might not turn out it's a waste of time and also that would be a lot more satisfying having a shit ton of yeah and depending on like I

don't know I could get fancy with it and like maybe write grass daddies we gotta get we gotta start hurrying up then if we want to get this table built yeah well I mean I do have quite a bit let me take a pic oh lord oh shit I mean okay so and I do have this jotted down you got a nightside table okay so do you see PBR?

I didn't know this. Because every once in a while, basically when I go to buy beer, I'll either pick a new box for the artwork of it, or I'll get, like, bottles to try to keep going on my collection. For whatever reason, I was like, I don't know if i have any pbr bottle caps so i got some bottle cap or some bottles and i opened one and there was a two of spade oh and i opened another one three of heart yeah i've never noticed so i being that's not being the most this isn't being the most creative person you've ever met, of course, I got in the lab, my brain, and I came up with a game.

We're not playing it now, but a game I would love to play called PBR Poker. We all get a six-pack because a poker hand is five cards, right? So let's say there would have to be five people playing so 30 bottles total yeah oh yep so you would take everyone's extra and that would be the one two three yeah and then the flop or whatever it'd be the yeah oh so then everyone takes their six pack you drink your five bottles you take your sixth. And we all cast our sixths in the middle. And we see who can get the best poker hand. Yeah.

We can have like a little trophy or something for whoever wins. I mean, it's essentially random. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's awesome. And it's called PBR poker. Oh, but how would you? Because in poker, you bet, right?

You could bet if you wanted. Because obviously, the first three you put out in the middle Could be the flop Is that what it is? Flop, river, and... Flop, turn, river I play a lot of cards But how could we Integrate into this game

Like a betting system Like we could have I'm not saying it has to be money It's not like that fun i mean we just need to get you get in the lab you know just think of that how we can make a little fun game out of it you know cam before his bachelor party because his bachelor party was so hodgepodge we were gonna for a while we were supposed to just go to airbnb out west and like go golfing and just hang out.

And he's like, he FaceTimed me one day. He's like, I need you to get in the lab. I want to do a college football tournament, figure out how we could do it. And I was just like, okay. I think it's funny how he's acknowledged in the lab. I mean, you're the king of the lab, really. Yeah.

I mean, I won't even deny it. He'd be on poker. No one can brew up an idea like Jake can. Yeah, he is. What'd you say? I said no one can brew up an idea like Jake can. He's quite creative. It's one of the benefits to being an anxious person is when your mind races so much, but

if you can steer it in a creative path, you can come up with some ideas. And that's what we call autism. You might be right. But, yeah. Because I was thinking about... Shut up, Brods. Because I opened my six pack... Shut up, autism.

I mean, I got there pretty... Cheers to that. Cheers to that. Drink to that. Yeah, yeah. Fuck it. Does anyone else want... I remember the first pod we ever did. I swore half the audio was us going... Like, just us burping.

Really? Yeah. What was our first episode with you? It was me, Spencer, and you, and I think we just bullshitted. Well, that's... Isn't that what the podcast is? Yeah. I couldn't tell you what we talked about or did.

Do you go back and re-listen to them, Ben? No. No. I should, but I... They let me... we talked about or did. Do you go back and re-listen to them, Ben? No. I should, but I... You don't have to. Well, I mean, they... I'll say something stupid and I'll hear it for the next month. Why? Because we just meme you and we just quote you like crazy?

Yeah. Well, that would happen regardless of if it was on the episode. Yeah, I mean, if we did a podcast or not, I'd still be... Nice. Good tone, good tone. God, I am belching like a good mofo base yeah i uh speaking of being in the lab i i did come up with a an idea for what to do on the podcast and i'll get to it in a second here. I just really want to see what your first episode was. We gained another subscriber. We're at 41. Let's go.

Holy shit. Shout out number 41. I don't know who it is. Sometimes it'll give you a notification. A who? A notification. Hey, who is our... I said of who.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Did our number one hater ever... A who? What if he subscribed? That'd be funny. That would be... Can we say his name?

Did he re-comment? We can say his name, but I don't remember it. It's Ethan. I always remember. I remember all the haters. Listen, if you named Ethan, you're a pussy. I mean, that's just a bad name. Oh, your first episode was titled The Giant and the Snake.

It's when we talked about Andre the Giant and the guy who played for the Cowboys. Larry Allen? No. Oh, it might have been Larry Allen. Is Larry Allen white? Oh, no. Because the guy we talked about was definitely black. Because we were talking about how big his dick was.

No, Larry Allen is a black guy. Oh, you just said he was white. No, I thought you were asking if Larry Allen was white. White dudes don't got big dicks. Or weight. Whatever. What the? You see why we meme him, folks?

Wait, what? I forgot what you said. What? I don't even know either. But that was the first episode you were on. But, um, you know, Eli early, like, subscribed. He subscribed one day, and then he came to me at work the next day, and he's like, I accidentally subscribed, but I wasn't going to uns at work the next day and he's like i accidentally subscribed but i wasn't gonna unsubscribe so

thanks early fucking prick accidentally subscribed okay you guys that's kind of a slap in the face fuck you i mean i'll take it yeah i mean subsub he did the same he kind of along the same lines he goes he goes i added you on Snapchat, but you didn't add me back. It was like two weeks ago. He goes, I saw you in the quick ads, so I added you. And I was like, oh, my bad. So I opened up my thing, and it never popped up. And he goes, yeah, I don't know why I did it, because I don't think I'll ever snap you.

I was like, oh, okay. He goes, but I'll add you back. And he did it again, and it didn't pop up on my thing. I was like, oh, that but I'll add you back And he did it again And it didn't pop up on my thing I was like oh that's weird He goes oh I was like Now I kind of started to feel bad So I did the little you know

QR code I was like oh here we go So we're friends on He's just so cool He doesn't have time for your bullshit Yeah I guess I know you guys are probably looking at me going You have such great posture

And I don't always have this good of posture but this vest is sitting like directly above my stomach so if i slouch down you see the barrel the barrel comes out and it kind of sits on top so i've been like sitting like this puffing my chest out as if i actually like that but i. Dude, the slides should be better. You just said slides. Should I take this? Oh, what'd you say? Certified dad bod. You're a doctor. What was it?

Dis... What? You had a name for... Oh, doctor. Doc. Pause. Whoa. Those big lips are kicking in quick.

Doctor disrespect my body? Yeah, yeah. And I'm just doctor disrespect, but I just have a fucking... No, you gotta sit like that. I just have like taco stains on my shirt okay so Cheeto fingers Shout out Shout out broads Can we get cancelled for saying broads? No I don't think so I don't think that's a

Discriminatory I don't think it's a Discriminatory word I can't I got that Discriminative Let's see Let's see

Joey Diaz of course But there's another Do you listen to Are You Garbage? It's a podcast discriminatory word i can't fuck i got discriminative i got that from um joey diaz of course but there's another do you listen to are you garbage it's podcast comedians so it's basically a podcast about they ask questions answer your question no yeah they ask questions like are you did you grow up in a garbage household there's like a list of questions they have and if you answer yes or no it's a whole thing okay but one of them one of the guys is like so i was hanging out with my broad like he just says it casually okay but that like me and my brother doesn't mean it to be mean no he's like me and my broad went to dinner and he's just telling a story but sane wants to talk no sorry so i googled the definition of Oxford definition, abroad is a woman.

Yes. So it's nothing. It doesn't say derogatory term for. No, it's just a woman. It doesn't say a blonde, stupid woman. No, here's the, let's look at the Cambridge definition. Cambridge. Cambridge.

They know what they're talking about. Webster's Dictionary describesster's dictionary they're a little too very wide we walked down a broad okay never mind that's just the actual there's another i got that okay so why do you think those wide range of things it's the same spelling right b-r-o-o-d why do you think women started being called broads okay actually like they were being very broad like you're being so broad with me you won actually. Like they were being very broad. Like you're being so broad with me. You won't give me a definitive.

I asked you a hundred times if you want to go to the fucking cinema to go watch a picture show, but you're being so broad with me because you're saying you want to go over to Mary Ellen's to have tea. I don't know. I'm just... And then fucking Suzanne said.

Does that sound like an old reference? It is definitely an older reference. You wanted to go watch a picture show. Except I'm saying it just like a white Midwesterner. Hey, you wanted to go to the picture show, see? You're being so broad with me. I thought you wanted to go to the...

So, update on the definition. Cambridge, a little bit more sophisticated institute. By the way, do you want to hear my early impression? Yeah. Lay it on me. Let's go. I gotcha. So,

Cambridge has it as the definition an offensive word for a woman. Okay, here we go. Okay. Bullshit. It is. I a woman. Okay. Bullshit. It is. I'm offended. No, dude.

You're broad-sided of a bod. Can you... Oh. Is it a... Broad. Is it to describe a woman being, like, big? Could be. Because everyone knows calling a woman fat is insulting. Can you look up the origin of...

Can I get the language of origin, please? That would be a fun podcast. A spelling bee. And I make you fucking assholes get hammered. What it should be is... Actually, I don't even know. Ah, you guys are right. So, how did broad come to mean a woman?

Slang sense of woman is by 1911 perhaps suggestive of broad hips, but it also might trace to American English a broad wife, word for a woman, often a slave, away from her husband. Earliest use of the slang word suggests immortality of coarse, low-class woman. Two things. One. Shout out, bros. Hey.

Shout out, bros. Two things. Two things. One, normally don't they say wide hips is a good thing? Because they're like, you want a woman with wide hips because you'll be good at bearing children. Two, we're shouting them out. We're not saying, fuck broads. Shout out.

We love the broads. We love them broad. We love women that work hard. That have wide hips. I like beer. Work hard. Me too. Shout out beer.

Shout out beer. Shout out big-hipped women. Shout out big-hipped women. Not hip women. Big-hipped women. Okay. I'm in the lab. This is our 62-second episode.

You guys having a good time so far? I know I am. Yeah. This is our 60-second episode, at least for me. You've been on five or so episodes. This is your third. Yes, it is. I think we are seasoned vets at this point.

And you know what? Maybe my sixth. I forgot about the double episode we recorded. I don't know if that second one even counts. Oh, it was uploaded, so it does count. Okay, how about this? It counts if you can tell me one thing we talked about besides... I can't.

Okay, it doesn't count. It's funny, too. The cut water box is right behind me. That was... That was what you drank? I had four of those and two buzz balls. That'll do it to you. Did you?

It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. That's not. I was on that episode. I'm pretty. Yeah. Okay. Well.

No. Fuck it. Whatever. I think you were drinking them on the Medusa episode. So I'm driving down 60th Avenue. Oh, the buzz balls might have been the... The buzz balls were the... That was the...

The buzz balls were the... The big cup... Whatever. No, the buzz balls were the Rambling Feud episode. We drank those for the Rambling Feud. Did I have the big cup? Wasn't that... No.

No, no, no. We drank the buzz balls and then... I think I had cut water. I'm pretty sure I had cut water. If I'm correct. You realize if I ever get cancelled someday, picture this. I get cancelled someday.

I'm in court. Mr. Killam, you were on record of saying, and they recite something absurd, and I go, I did? They're like, oh yeah, you did. Here's a video clip. And I'm just like, shit, I guess I didn't say that.

What happens if the whole courtroom just starts laughing? I think you automatically get off. You know, even like the jury, like you look over and the jury's just like. It should be a rule. You shouldn't make the judge laugh. They're like, not guilty. That's funny. I legit think you shouldn't.

What you say under influence, like if they can prove you were under influence, what you say after that should not count. Yeah. Like, listen, my blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit. When Charles Barkley got a DUI, what his excuse was to the officer, he was like, bro, if you knew this chick, or because I guess she was really good at sucking dick, and she's like, if you knew what she could do to whatever, she'd be like, you'd be driving too.

And he said that. He just said that. It's like, well, that's not going to hold up in court. Here's my impression of a judge that I just made laugh at a trial for me being canceled about to let me off. After double murder. No. I just got canceled for saying something. I hereby sentence Mr. Killam free of all charges and shout out Brogs on that note

beer me get the shit out of you fucking beer me isn't it crazy not only being an adult but um and being able to purchase alcohol that you can legally consume dude that fucked me up for a while but

when have you noticed how just, when a song comes on, you're just like, I need to get a beer in my body right now. Yeah. Or, like, something makes you laugh, and you're like, that just made me so happy, I want to drink. Yeah. What is that? Or, that sucks so bad, please give me a beer.

Yeah. Or, yeah, I'm so stressed. Not even stress, but after a long day of bullshit, and you're just like, dude, I need... A beer would just cure everything. Or 12. Oh, it's 12 of them. I need 12 of them.

You hit three of them quick. Get that buzz, and you're just like, oh, days better. This guy's got drinking down to a science. I swear, yeah. You hit three of them quick quick and then you're good. Like three of them, you hit a level, day two. And then you're better and you just keep going. And then you have a decision to make. Do you ride

it out and just keep going and totally fuck your night up? Or do you say, this was good enough and then just relax? Do you remember getting your first, obviously probably not, but the idea of there's something about like when you're by yourself chilling playing video games and you get that two beer buzz going oh it's so good and you

feel so good it's so good there was a kid that the other kid in the group chat i've talked i know i've talked about this before on the pod but i'm bringing it up again because odds are you probably haven't listened to all those or even heard it fucking average listen time of four minutes anyways it's pretty the other the other camden is newly turned 21 we're getting ready to have a backyard get together whatever and he goes yeah i got like five beers i can bring like you know he's like yeah i still got some beer i gotta i could bring over to drink and we're just like yeah okay and he's just like i'm like why didn't why why haven't you just just drank them and he's like i'm not gonna drink by myself that's just weird and cam and I just looked at each other

and just started laughing in his face. You're not a man until you've drank by yourself. I'm not going to drink by myself. There's an age where you realize drinking by yourself is almost more fun than... It's even a bit therapeutic. Right. We might be alcohol.

Well, because here's my take on drinking by yourself. It's way easier. It's almost the only way I can get through the day. It's way easier to stop when you're by yourself. To just have three beers. You know what I mean? And just get that buzz and stop. Oh, yeah, no.

It's easier to stop when your buddies aren't just going, Oh, my God, are you about to throw up? You need three more. Yeah, we need another round. Cam is like that. Spencer's like that. I'm like that. But have you ever gone too far by yourself?

Yeah, that's also fun. Then it gets depressing. No, I've never gone too far by myself. I have, and it gets really depressing because then you get into your drunk thoughts and you're like, what the fuck am I doing? I'm fucked up right now. I'm the only one in my house.

It's like a bell curve're like, what the fuck am I doing? I'm fucked up right now. I'm the only one in my house. And you're just like, it's a bell curve of like, all right, nice buzz, perfect. What the fuck am I doing? Perfect drunkenness. And then, yeah, that is true. Yeah. It's like a nice little, okay, nice, nice. This is really good.

What the fuck am I doing? It's a bell curve by yourself you guys play a fun game let's play it i love games back to what i was talking to this is our 62nd episode and you guys are about to watch the newest up-and-coming game on the grass daddy's podcast called i'm so good at podcasting i can talk about anything oh what i have here queued up on the old interwebs is a random podcast topic generator. And what I think we should do is queue it up and show these motherfuckers how good we are at bullshitting. Fuck yeah. Because I believe.

And we're going to post again. Fuck you, Evan. Ethan. Ethan. Fuck you. Fuck you. Is it Ethan? Sure. Fucking. Ethan. I think it's Ethan Blake. I believe. Pussy. Sorry, women. Ethan Ethan Fuck you Fuck you Is it Ethan? Sure

Ethan I think it's Ethan Blake I believe Pussy Sorry women I believe That we can pull up Any

Podcast topic Shot out of a cannon And we can at least Riff on it for A couple We can probably bring A couple minutes A couple minutes

We can find our footing in it Make a couple jokes on it I'd even revisit it at some point Topics for Okay so I'm on Capitalizemytitle.com Whatever that means Topics for

Anyone Business, couples, family Essays That's a topic? No no no Anyone, business, couples, family, essays. Oh, what? That's a topic? Do you want... No, no, no. We can choose.

I was like, hold up. I might not be good at this game anymore. Should we do anyone? Let's do one of each. Yeah. No, no, no. It's just you can select, like, the filter. Yeah, do them all.

So if you do, like, couples, it'll be like, what's your favorite sexual position? Oh, that actually should be fun. I don't know. Doggy. Because, okay, so I have it queued up as anyone. Inverse missionary. Just make up a position. Inverse missionary?

Yeah, I don't know what that is. Inside out crocodile. Okay, so. That one takes some thinking. And stretching. So, what's the first thing that comes up is what's your favorite genre of movie like that was just what it pulled up i don't know if that's just what it has moving on but that's but that is under topics for anyone do you want me to put a filter on it

but before we get into it i I'm curious what essays is. Just click on it and let's give it a rip. Do athletes deserve the high salaries they receive? Why or why not? Absolutely. That's going to get too ranty. Let's go to anyone again. Okay.

It's got to be something funny. We can't just sit here and rant and go, yes, they do. What's wrong with the healthcare system in America? Well, for starters... Yeah. Uh-oh. I clicked on anyone again? Please.

He says, what do you fear is hiding in the dark? Bill Cosby. I can give you the psychological answer. What? All right, let's hear an enlightened, logical answer. Do you guys have a stupid response? No, let me... I already gave logical answer. You guys might give a stupid response. No, let me. I already gave mine.

He did. He said Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby. But why is he hiding in the dark? Because you can't see him? You put the pill in the drink and it gets busy. I think for the people at home, you can figure out why. When you take her back to your apartment and you put her on the futon and you go,

Food delivery. Oh, special delivery. You walked right in on my Bill Cosby impression. Perfect. Can you just give me a couple tacos? You just want a couple tacos? Yeah, I just want a couple tacos to soak up this shit. Didn't you get seven?

Well, yeah, but I'm not going to eat all seven. No, I know, but. It's a depressive amount of tacos to be honest. But maybe the question is, what isn't hiding in the dark? Hey, this is a good moment. This is a great moment, actually. Shout out Broads. Shout out Broads.

Lena, real quick. Lena, thanks for coming in. When you hear the word broad What comes to mind Is it something We were looking up the actual Positive or negative I think it just means female There you go

Yep So we did find Two different definitions So I'm in the right Wait No yeah Alright we're good I mean

I just want three Yeah It's just another word for a woman Before it's too many Like I'm going out with my broad No but Yeah I'm going going out with my broad No but Yeah I'm going to dinner with my broad

Right But the origins of it Have something to do with Either wide hips Or just like lower class It's a lower class Yeah I feel like you could use it

In a negative I mean you could use any word In a negative way Like No but like I don't know You fucking sod cutter Yeah

Yeah What? Yeah you fucking Yeah You fucking cup cutter It's. What? You fucking cup cutter. The tone of voice and how you use it. Right. I have the best job in the world. I've never had...

Oh wait, I'm not getting paid for it. I've never had Taco John's outside of breakfast. Really? I've never had Taco John's sober. I've got? Yeah. I've never had Taco John's sober. I've got another question for you. What do you fear is hiding in the dark? Oh, yeah. All right.

Bill Cosby was your answer. Can I get one of those? Absolutely, man. I'm sorry. I say fear itself. Fear. Because the human's innate ability to survive an unknown situation is what cues the fear response when you're running up the stairs

from a darkness it's the there might be something dangerous behind me so i need to run quickly and my senses are on high alert yeah and i think that goes back to just human nature so you go back here is because whatever you're afraid is going to possibly get yeah because like you think about a kid like little kids are always scared of the dark and you know because it's going to possibly get you. Yeah, because you think about a kid. Little kids are always scared of the dark because there's monsters under the bed. There's a monster in the closet. But obviously, you grow older. You get a little bit more logical. You know there's nothing in there.

But as a kid, don't you think that's like... Maybe it's someone hiding who broke into my house. But human nature, you go back a thousand years when you were nomadic. You lived in the wild. There was actual... an animal or something actually hunting you, so there was something to fear. So maybe our childish fear of the dark

is just like ancient human instincts of always being in the wild because for thousands of years, humans actually had to fear the dark because you didn't know if there was a tiger, a wolf, a bear out there to attack you. so true i i 100 agree it it goes back to our biological response for survival yeah what was the worst book you had to read for school how about the best book you had to read um that's fucking lame kill a mockingbird if you really want to answer it i don't care. The best would be... I can tell you the

only book I read cover to cover. You guys read? There's one book in fifth grade. I thought it was like an English major. And I read... Oh, man. In fifth grade? Fifth grade.

I read a series of books the only time I've ever done that I can't even remember the name of them it was like a college major like what do you mean you thought you were a major dude I thought I was fucking

William Shakespeare like with how I was reading it was um fuck what was it it was they were like

Gregor the Overlander no but they were like I can't remember the name of them But they were legit books That were like 200 For a 5th grader A 200 page book

A Door Within Trilogy No it was God damn it Son of a gun It was kind of like a mystery Kind of book Laura Ingalls Wilder There was a baby with like sharp teeth

The Little House on the Prairie No Catch it I had to read that That was a baby with sharp teeth. The Little House on the Prairie. No. Catch it. I had to read that. That was a good book. I enjoyed that book. All those movies are books I hated. Really?

Whenever it was assigned to me, I hated it. But there was one series of books I found by myself. Read the whole series. I was like a fifth grader. Never read a book again. I legit haven't read a full book since fifth grade. I read one, like, I did not read in high school. When we had reading assignments, I'd always be like.

Cliff Notes or watching the movie. Spark Notes. Yeah, Spark Notes, there you go. Or I would, like, ask a buddy, like, did you do the reading? Will you give me the rundown on the chapters so I can try to pass the quiz? Just something, anything. You can have it. There was one book that I read

cover to cover. I was like, this is the only time I actually feel confident in writing this paper for this book. Because I fucking read it. I know what questions she's asking me, and I'm going to give my best intellectual response to these questions. Because I read the whole book.

And Trace didn't read a fucking word of it. He's more afraid than me. Shit. Bullshitting his way through it. And I'm like, what? Fuck. I read the book. That's bullshit.

Anyway. You know what that boils down to? Reading's bullshit. Reading is bullshit. You know what? You can... English class... Is bullshit. You know what? You can... English class... Is bullshit.

Where they can just take... I mean, it's essentially, to a point, an opinion. If you're writing a paper, why do you think the character developed this innate sense of protection of... You know what I mean? It's like, what do you think? What do you think? And i think that comes down to like how good are you with words or stating your opinion right because i could read the book i can know everything that happened i did you know yeah so like so i got

like a c let's say it's got like a b and i'm like let's say what let's say i read a book and i completely understood it read the whole thing But then I go to write my essay And it's just My opinion or my outlook on it Is just not what the teacher had in mind She's like oh Or maybe I'm just not good at writing She'd be like oh yeah you gotta see

And then someone that just like read the cliff notes That's not a very good analysis Or like someone just like didn't read the book It's like oh I'm just going to bullshit this. But they're very good at bullshitting. Very good at formulating an opinion in a good argumentative way. And they get an A. Do you think part of it is they're like, I think he read it.

So I'm going to give him more points. Maybe. I had that in high school. He sounds like he didn't read it. So I'm going to dock him a little bit. I had that happen in high school. I don't think I ever got a grade over a C in high school for essays or whatever. I get to college, I'm getting A's, high B's, and I'm like, you dumb bitch. You mean where the professor doesn't know you?

Right. And doesn't have any bias? Right. And I'm like, you dumb... How the fuck... I've had that too once. Am I getting legit, like, almost not passing English to having an A in it? It's like, how the fuck, you know? I don't know.

You know, that's a very good point. Fuck English majors. Fuck all you English majors. How much do you think high school teachers' opinions and biases reflects students' grades. Let's say you're in English class and you're just a shit student. You're always distracting. But you're hot. You know what I mean?

No, no, no. It's like you're just a disruptive child, but you're a genius. Do you think that can like do the thug shake? Hey, Roland, do the thug shake. You know what I mean? Or let's say There's a young It's human error Of course there's gonna be

Some You know No one can No one can say Like what's the principal Gonna do You gave that girl Too good of a grade

Cause you think she's hot He'd be like What Like what What are you What are you accusing me of You know It'll never happen

But why does it have to be a girl What if it was a guy What if it was a hot guy It could be why does it have to be a girl? What if it was a guy? What if it was a hot guy? It could be a guy. What if it was a hot guy? What if it was a hot guy? It 100% could be. Or it could be a rich family.

I mean, like, we all played sports, and I wasn't that great, but we got away with it probably where you meet a cool math teacher, and he's just going to throw you a B. I'm friends with his parents or something like that. You know what I mean? That's a big thing in private schools. That is, actually. I feel like that definitely is. But what's fucked up, my English teacher in high school was,

I played baseball with her kid, like, pretty much all through Little League. She'd give me fucking C's. I'm like, you fucking bitch. I was at your house this weekend. And then the audacity she had in the yearbook, she was like my quote, like, Ben is the greatest student ever. I was like, fuck, no I wasn't.

You fucking gave me C. I almost How about this? Fuck you, Miss Erickson. You gave me a C. I'm clicking through some of these because I know we could riff on them almost too well. I could throw them at us. One of them was, I mean, I know we could riff on them almost too well. Oh, please, no, no, no.

I could throw them at us. I know, but one of them was like, if you could know the answer to anything in the future, what would it be? And I'm like, I don't want to take these boys down that hole. How about this? I can go so many different directions. I know. Do you play any instruments? Do you?

I play... Guitar. I can fuck around on the piano. Nuh-uh. Well, I learned piano first Not that well but Piano's easy Did you play an instrument

In like elementary school Cause I have recorder Does the recorder Yeah Let's go Hot cross Until I die bitch That's literally

I am I am Not musically talented We used to have bells Did you ever do bells I got kicked out of that class In like Kindergarten

7th 6th grade actually Oh Ooh this might be a good one We used to have bells. Did you ever do bells? I got kicked out of that class in seventh, sixth grade, actually. Oh. Ooh, this might be a good one. What's the worst job interview you've ever had? Ooh. Oh. My first one ever at a pizza place. She was like, why do you want the job?

And I was like, um. Money. I know. Which I didn't say that. But you can't say that. No, but you can. people understand that you need money. Everyone knows that's your real reason for it. But no, especially for like a part time, especially in like high school, college.

Why am I working at Pizza Hut? Cause I love pizza and I love, you know, making dough. Like, no, I need money. And I didn't realize. I love serving the customer. Oh, that guy that lives in a trailer and he's peeling off some dirty ones for your tip. What do you think

I'm doing this job for? The love of the game? No, exactly. I think they realize you're in it for the money. Instead of saying that, I was like, well, I don't know. I told of saying that i was like well um you know i don't know i i told her that i was like i don't i don't know i need i need a job i need to make money and it's like what do you think i'm wearing this for like what do you think i'm doing

this job for i'm wearing a monster shirt and a cookie monster flat bill i'm smoking a cigarette i got osiris skate shoes on i had those. I'm wearing adult Heelys. What do you think I want this job for? Fucking asshole. Yeah, what do you think I am? To spread the good word? No, but yeah, that was pretty much mine. I was like, I don't know why I want this job.

And she was like, all right, so this interview's done. And I'm like, well, fuck that up for sure. That was my first ever job, but I was shit bricks, dude. I could give a depressed answer I don't have to Now I'm interested I want to know So I was interviewing for a job

For like Blue Sky Satellite And it was right When I was transitioning So I don't know I don't know if you guys know this or not I was telling you about When I was thinking. So I don't know. You told me this, didn't you? I don't know if you guys know this or not. I was telling you about when I was thinking about going to work there. That's right.

But my actual job interview for it. So when I left college, part of the reason was because out of nowhere. And we could steer this into a happy topic. But out of nowhere, i started getting really depressed and i told the doctor i'm like i have no reason to be depressed like i have a good family relationship promising future i'm in school i have a nice girlfriend that i really like why do i feel depressed they're just like you might just be depressed. Like it's possible to have a chemical imbalance in your brain. He's a 50 milligrams addict.

They didn't give me that. Figure it out. Fucker. But while I was, I'll call it transitioning. Like my, my, like my brain just started,

you know, yeah, I was just getting really like anxious. Right. During that period, something weird was happening where my brain was racing so fast. I went to a job interview and I was like still trying to get a grasp on what was going on in my brain. I went to a job interview and the guy was talking to me and it was like I could not lock it in. He was like looking at me and talking to me.

You were hearing him but you weren't listening. I could not. I couldn't focus. It was so weird. It's not like I didn't want to. Right. But it was like he was just talking at me and I was not receiving any of it. Your mind was somewhere else.

You got an alpha. But it wasn't. I wasn't thinking about anything else. It was like I couldn't retain anything he was saying because I was so just like fixated on I don't know what. It was so weird. That is interesting. But I'm a big advocate for mental health. Shout out.

I don't know. Shout out Big Pharma. Shout out Broads. Shout out Big Pharma and everything they do to people. I think that... I don't know if that's a positive. It's not. No. Fuck Big Pharma for fucking people up, not actually helping them and just prescribing

them drugs. Keep warping their brains. It's good. Guess what? What's the best pair of shoes you've ever owned? Why were they so good? Whatever these are. Nike.

Air Force Ones? Nikes. No. Did you... On the topic of Heelys, did Nike. Air Force Ones? Nikes. No. Did you, on the topic of Heelys, did you guys have Heelys? I did. I was not allowed to have them. What? My mother would not let me and my brother have them.

No, yeah. When they first came out, I tried them and fucked myself. I can't remember. I didn't, like, seriously fuck myself up, but, like, I definitely came home crying to my mom. You, like, head-butted your mom's Dodge Durango in the garage and she was like these aren't safe she took the wheels out of them she's like you can you can have the shoes you can have a boot on the wheel so you can't roll it because there's like there's a cap you put on the wheel insert oh yeah i forgot the cab dude it's funny you got cab you got cab dude my buddy you need some healy training wheels my buddy in high school it's you know 2020 and he busts out

healy's 2020 like i still made it yeah i did too he i was thinking like 2007 i bet if we looked on amazon right now we could probably find adult healy's. No, but he had a pair, and he didn't tell anybody. And so there is this one part of the school where there's a huge downhill. Oh, shit. And so we're walking to class, and he's just bombing next. Like, he just bombs it. And we're like. You're like, hey, where's Jeremy?

And he just, boom. And the girl's hair goes flying in the wind as he goes by. Paper goes flying. You've seen movies. Yeah. No, for real. It was goes by. Paper goes flying. You've seen movies. Yeah. No, for real. It was like we were like, they're on sale. Black Friday, baby.

Yep. $48. $48's not bad for shoes these days. That ain't bad. For Heelys? And this is a car to me? $48. Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling.

Can I take a piss real quick? Absolutely. Yeah. Don't get a UTI. 54 minutes in.. Can I take a piss real quick? Absolutely. Don't get a UTI. 54 minutes in. 55. I want a UTI. Oh, Lord. Honestly, I can't think of a pair of shoes.

Because of the way I was talking about it. Remember how we were talking about me growing? Yeah. I was moving in and out of pairs of shoes a lot. So I can't pinpoint a pair of shoes I really like. When you were growing up was it like right before you know school started after summer your mom would be like take your school shop and be like all right pick out a pair of shoes and you wore those for the

school year through the summer because that's what it was like for me and we don't what i dude i'll say this i'll say this for a while i really liked the Nike Freeze, the ones that were, like, really flexible on the bottom. I was like, these are so comfy. And they were, like, cloth. Did you have those at all? Do you know what I'm talking about? I think they were called Nike Freeze. Pull them up.

Because, like, when I was in, like, elementary school, I was wearing, like, skate shoes, like DCs from Zoomies. Like that kind of. Or, like, the Nike. DCs from Zoomies, like that kind of – or like the Nike – DCs? Yeah. Because, I mean, dude, I was a huge like Robin Big, Rob Dyrdek – I never skated though. Dude, I love Robin Big.

I never skated. But I loved – but I would always watch that, like Travis Pastrana. I loved that shit. So I'd always wear like DCs in elementary school. And then I got to sixth grade. Oh, favorite pair of shoes? Nike Hyperdumps. Will you look up, or can you look up Nike Freeze?

Because my phone's recording and the laptop. Do you remember the Rhino shoes? Yeah. I had, for three years, I wore Rhino. I think it was just called Rhinos, right? I don't know. Let me look them up. Oh, like the Flyknit?

Like the free runs? Like, hold on. I just... Yeah. Scroll through and find it. Yeah, no, no, no. Like, something like that. So, like the Flyknit?

Yeah. I think they were 2.0s. Look up Nike Free or maybe Nike Flyknit. They're free runs. They're definitely free runs. Yeah, sure. I don't think. They were so comfy.

I think I saw some of them wearing them. I know what you're talking about. These were huge in like middle school, huh? No, yep. I know exactly. They're those. Yeah. Yeah, I had a pair of those.

Those were legit. They were so comfy. Those were some Nike Elite socks. I don't know if i had nike elite socks oh with the dots on the back i mean i'm not made of money come on guys they're like 60 dollars for a pair you got those for football or something and it was my fat oh yeah when you get a pair for football for free and you wear them all the time dude they look so dumb on my like fat calf those little dots were stretched out to the max it's like was that like the cool thing to wear

when you guys were was it like the nike like the nike highlighter like the nike socks with the the cargo shorts and then like a highlighter shirt shirts it wasn't necessarily the cool thing it was just the thing like what but that was like a nationwide thing. It wasn't just like a West Coast thing. No. No. What I'm trying to get at. Cargo shorts. Ooh, here's a good one.

Just any Nike shirt with writing on it. Snap back. Yeah, snap back. What is something you are obsessed with? Boobs. I don't know. Naked boobs. Boobs.

Boobs. Sex. What was it? Sex boobs. Sex boobs. Oh, when I looked up when I was like in first grade. Yeah, the last podcast we were talking about. That was a little callback joke.

Naked boobs. Naked boobs. Sex boobs. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Because if you look up boobs, it's a bunch of boobs and bikinis. Yeah. But naked boobs. Naked boobs.

That's where the nipple comes in. Okay, we'll move on. Next. Shout out naked boobs. What is this with reading? Do you think people who read more or fewer books now than 50 years ago? Way less. Oh, definitely.

Okay, but let's say, what about audiobooks? Does that count as reading a book? That's a good topic. Do you guys count it? I would. I would. Because when I, a few years ago when I was an Amazon delivery driver, you could only listen to so much music. And I got into audiobooks.

And I would go through a book a week. And so like technically like over – Do you think you retained it better than if you would have read it? Yes, I do. Because I – The only thing I would say – It comes back to how do you learn true the only thing i would say is just the information is getting into your brain just a different way so if you retain

it then you retain it right but if you want to think about reading is good for you you know physically looking at a page and going across it's good for you it makes you concentrate it makes you focus and if you want to be a good writer you have to read a lot if you read a lot you'll be a good better writer

I don't know if that would necessarily be true if you just listen to it well there is something to being able to You'd be hearing a lot of well structured sentences And stuff but Do you think reading it The inverse could happen I think the important thing

I don't know if it could be an inverse Because you're getting the information still By reading it It's your inner voice versus someone else's voice Because like Almost when I'm listening to audio books still by reading it like so your inner voice versus someone else's voice because like almost when i'm when i'm listening to audiobooks i'll almost have like a conversation in my head where like i would listen to a book and like i would almost be like oh yeah like and i would almost respond to it in my head you know what i mean like yeah like say someone made a point over

a paragraph and like i would almost like ponder on it for a second and like think about it and then like obviously i lose focus and i'd be like oh shit now what he's talking about now i'd have to like nice thing is like reading yeah as it's yeah but then the nice thing about an audiobook is like say if i miss a point i'd be like oh shit like say if my my mind wanders off i could just click the button and rewind 15 seconds oh yeah paragraphs so what are you listening to him on just the books app on my phone oh but you can rewind 15 seconds yeah so like some apps don't give you the 15 you so like yeah just books oh yeah no like the last i think the last book i actually listened to was mein kampf hitler's hitler which is actually on that same topic whoever invented mine come the i'm just kidding this

isn't the same thing but whoever invented the go back 15 seconds is a genius because there's some apps where it's just a back arrow and you're like i want to go back 15 seconds and it starts it all the way over you're like oh what the fuck that happens i hate me. I hate that Apple Music. No, Apple Music is like that. Everything else Apple does, like podcasts, the books, you can go back 15 seconds. If you hit back on Apple Music, you're going straight to the beginning of the song. They need to start doing it with songs, too. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes I want to just hear that. Because Spotify does it with songs, or with podcasts, but not with songs. Right. i love that about what i love about apple podcast too is you can skip the ads yeah you can do that on spotify too though that is great what sci-fi movie or book would you like the future to be like twilight zone so quick with the response i was quick too but he but he beat me to it. What did you say? I don't know if I read enough. Star Wars.

Yeah, I mean, I'm a huge Star Wars fan. I feel like that's a no-brainer. I'd love to be a Sith Lord. What I love about... Oh, you want to be Sith? I'd be a Sith. That'd be cool. Actually, hold up.

For anybody that actually knows Star Wars lore outside of the movies, I'd be a gray Jedi. What is that? You're going to have to enlighten me. So you got a Jedi. Did you say gray or great? Gray. Gray.

Oh, okay. So a gray is a mix between a Jedi and a Sith. So they have the power of the Force, but they're not necessarily good or evil. So no, they are actually like, all they care about is the Force. It doesn't matter what side. So they take power from the dark and the light side, whereas a Jedi only – it's like one side, right? So you're part of the Jedi Council. You don't – everything on the dark side you disagree with, you don't use.

And then Sith are like this way. That's giving me Tom Bombadil vibes. And so you're almost like – it's like a free will Jedi. So like they're not part of the Jedi council. I'm not a Sith, but like they just kind of roam. They have, they use the,

they use the, they're like a hippie version. It sounds like a little bit, but like, they're not a bad, they're just like, you just got to keep moving. It's almost political to like,

to a point where, you know, it's like some people will choose party cause it benefits them. But then some people are just die hard, whatever. That actually, maybe that's why I would be a gray jedi because when i i know we don't get into politics here and i'm not going to i like being neutral but like i do like like i like to read about one you know right about both sides yeah i like i like hearing right and left side so are you

saying you're pretty neutral i'm when comes to politics, I'm pretty neutral. Yeah. Right. I'm very neutral. I'm a fence sitter. Yeah. I mean, I'm for the greater good. Yeah.

Right. Which can get- Because both sides- Have good and bad. Yeah. But at the end of the day, it's like- You're a great Jedi. So, yeah.

That's great. Which app seemed like magic the first time you used it doodle jump clash of clans oh pub g mobile it seemed like magic

dude it was like the first time you could play like a shooter game on your phone it was like a legit video game dude there's no way I'm cranking 90s on this game. That didn't feel terrible. Wait, isn't there a Fortnite mobile? There is. Pornhub. Pornhub.

Do those have apps? I don't know. No. Maybe browsers. I don't know. I'll be right back. What, you got to go crank one? No, I got to take a leak.

I don't want a UTI. Just remember the Lee's Hayden video from 2011. Where did you go last weekend? Some of these are... See, this is why I'm skipping over some of these, because they're just... I thought they were, like, crazy. We could obviously riff on... Sure.

Like, what's the worst piece of advice you've ever gotten? Like, why would... That's not a funny enough... No, let's do real. Like this. What cartoons did you watch as a child? Tom and Jerry. Scooby-Doo.

Tom and Jerry. SpongeBob. I guess... Okay. When I see the word, what cartoons, I think about, like, Tom and Jerry, like, Saturday morning cartoons. Yeah. Versus a cartoon-created show. Like, like Saturday morning cartoons. Yeah. Versus a cartoon created show.

Like Family Guy or something? Right, because SpongeBob is a cartoon, but I don't consider that cartoons. Oh, that's for sure cartoons. Well, I know it is, but I wouldn't say like American Dad or Rick and Morty. It's a cartoon, but I don't consider it a That'd be widely accepted though As a cartoon I see what you mean

But I don't I'm talking like Saturday morning So you're only a Saturday morning cartoon Let's call it that for now Oh so yeah Tom and Jerry Like Tom and Jerry We missed out on The whole Looney Tunes

saga, what, all of them are money. Bugs Bunny. Lola Bunny. Lola Bunny. Oh,

oh my god. I would. Last episode, we talked about our first nut. Let's, anyway. That was probably

some, the newer generation's first nut too's anyway uh that was probably some oh the newer generation's first nut too might have been low money let's get a little introspective now sure okay we'll go we'll go clockwise starting with ben oh boy when you describe yourself to others what words do you use um While you think, grab me another beer. Grab me another one. How many do we have? We've got four left. My goal is to make the table.

My goal whenever we're doing bottles is always to make it look like the table and family guy when they're playing Never Have I Ever. And like Quagmire has to keep doing it because he's done everything. And then it just like cuts to later. And there's like 50 bottles in front of him on the table. All right. Well, wait. Remind me of the question.

When you describe yourself to others, what words do you use? Fuck. I don't know. Funny, but I hate saying that. Let's do this. Let's do this. I'll describe him for you. You describe him for Zane.

Yeah, we should do that. And Zane, you describe it for me. All right, so. If I was to describe Ben, the words I would use are chill. For sure. Solid hang. Oh, two words. Relaxed.

Three. Yeah. Relaxed. Three, yeah. Not serious. For sure. All right. When you describe Zayn, what words do you use? I would say, yeah, like hilarious is definitely up there. I mean, if I'm hanging out with Zayn, I know I'm going to laugh for a good quarter of it.

I like this. I like this version. Got it. I feel like we're all kind of the same. Got in the lab. Because, like, it is really just easy to hang out with Zane and, like, I don't know. I feel like we could go anywhere and we just kind of. Easy to get along with.

Right. Easy to get along with um this isn't really one word but probably deeper at the surface or what am i trying to say athletic sure athletic but no but like doing it for you surface level he probably might seem shallow but let him go you get to know him a little bit he's clearly deeper thinking than what he might. Than appears. Right. You just might say like, oh, look at this jock.

But no, he actually has opinions about real things that. Dumb jock, outer shell, soft inner shell. Right. I'm like a turtle. I'm just kidding. I'm like a turtle. Yeah. But no, I feel like a lot of People kind of have that

Where it's like Sure You meet them They're not just gonna spill the beans But Absolutely I would consider myself the same way Yeah

Alright so now with you Do I go to you or So I'm doing Jake Let's do Let's talk about my favorite topic Me So Self centered

Arrogant Arrogant I'm just kidding Douchebag So first off I would say Fat Easy Fat Easy going

Friendly Creative I'm so hard Creative's a great one Yeah I mean that's the first thing to come to mind I'm so hard. Creative's a great one, yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's the first thing that's come to mind.

Because, like, when we're at work and there's an issue, you know, sometimes, like, let's say we're working on a project and sometimes we've got to sit there and we've got to bounce ideas. Like, Jake will look at a problem and be like, oh, yeah, we need to do this. And it's kind of outside the box, but it works and it makes sense. And you're like, oh, why didn't I think of that of that but it just it's like an instant to him yeah and like if you whenever there's like an issue i'm just like what is your good and like problem solving problems right it's almost always like you find the easiest solution because it's usually the most obvious and you're like is that occam's razor the The path of least resistance? Very logical.

I'm looking at you. Fuck if I know. Anyways. I don't even know. I couldn't even say that word. Gillette razor? I get what you mean. Sometimes when we run into something at work, I'm like...

Guys. All we got to do is... And also, it's like there are certain steps that have to be necessary. So it's like we have to do it. Yeah. You got to build around it. That's why I was like you think of things logically. You know what I mean?

Like you're not an emotional thinker. And you're very like laid back. Like your emotions don't – like I can tell you – like I ask you a lot of times like, am I pissing you off? You're like laid back. Your emotions don't... I can tell you, I ask you a lot of times, am I pissing you off? You're like, no. But most people, I can be around and I'm being me. And I can be like, he's getting very irritated with me right now. I got to back off.

And you're like, no. Just kind of bouncing off. It just bounces off you. You're very receptive. You're very logical. You're very in tune with your emotions. This is my favorite segment ever. Like a big sponge.

No. And you're like, I would even use the word like, so for those like Jake, you look at Jake. He's like 6'9", 420 pounds. He's a very large human being, which to the average person, it could be intimidating. He's big, but like, it could be intimidating. I'm a gentle giant. But he is like, another word I would describe, Jake's a teddy bear. Teddy bear.

He's very loving. Like, you know what I mean? He's someone, Jake is someone you would want to be friends with. Because he's very caring. he's always looking after you. He has your best interest in mind, no matter who you are, whether you're your best friend or not. I mean,

I could go all day and I would love it if you did, but we got to move on at some point, but I do appreciate those words. Zane, I love you, Ben. I probably, I feel like I didn't do you justice

i could do i could do ben too pause should we pause this or what um what to do is live can i get a handshake i didn't know this was OnlyFans. No, but like... Not to harp on what you're saying, but one of my biggest things and the things I've told Lena, like the one time where I was told Lena where I was just like, I just love to laugh. And she was like, are you drunk? But I was just like, no, I'm not trying to be funny or weird, but our world, and this was harking back to what I talked about last episode. We live in such a hateful, negative, sad world.

And I just want to make people laugh. Right. Nothing is ever that serious where it needs to cry over right be that upset over where you need to be angry if you're angry about something what are you mad about i like i like tell me what you're mad about grease fun what are you mad about right now all right now nothing nothing i can't but if you were it'd probably be something you don't need to be mad about no so let's get over it. I feel like in today's world, I feel like we find things to be mad about because no need for it. Yeah.

I feel like really people find things to be mad about. And I feel like people could take me as an unserious person. Let's take, for example, me at the golf course. I'm always joking, having a good time right and most people when they go to the job they're very serious i'm at work i need to work okay or but do i hate i hate my job what's happening right yeah i hate oh i'm doing a shitty job and i hate this so i'm going to be mad negative and grumpy whatever i do things at work I don't like, but you're, right? Yeah.

I've done jobs with you, and I've done jobs with you that we all disliked. I am disliking it at the same time, but more often than not, does my attitude change? No. No, I'm still joking,

but we're getting the fucking job done. We get our jobs done, and we do a good job, but I'm still joking. We're still laughing. fucking job done. We get our jobs done, and we do a good job. Hey, guess what? I'm still joking. We're still laughing. You can talk while you're raking bunkers. There's a light at the end of the tunnel every time.

You're not stuck doing one thing. We're digging a fucking ditch in some fucking mud, and it sucks. And I'm like, I'm tired of this, Grandpa. And you're like, that's too damn bad. You know what? We're in a ditch three, four inches into fucking mud. It sucks what? We're in a fucking, we're in a ditch three, four inches into fucking mud. It sucks.

But like, we're making a fucking joke. We're having a good time. The job itself sucks, but we're finding the light in it. And I said, light up another cigarette because we're about to find this leak.

Yeah. Guess what, buddy? Yeah. Four more feet of ground to dig up. That's fucking better light. I think more people in life need to find the light in the

shitty things yeah even if it's we're about to get ethical here within the shitty thing well because like i don't know even some of the moments where somebody's bitching turns into a funny moment when it's like man fuck this this fucking sucks you know whatever's a piece of shit i fucking hate him and then you all just start dying laughing because it's like... Yeah. You know. You can't be too serious. You can't.

If we could get our live switcher to zoom in on these guys' faces because I think... Hey, Alex! I think we all know... Fucking switch it. But... Time freezes for everyone

but you for one day. What do you do? Oh. This could go so many ways. Repopulate that's crazy that's a terrible answer isn't that rape that's that's rape uh yes it is maybe did somebody call my name. Wow, this is... She puts the pill in the drink. She drinks it. I put the pill in her drink. She gets all sleepy.

I put the funny pill in her pudding pop. What in the P. Diddy is going on here? Alright, let's breeze past that. What fashion help society in... Wait, so we're not doing that one? Because I was going to go... I'm going straight to Vegas.

Let's go. I'm just going straight... What was it? I'm going straight to Vegas. I'm reading the script. I'm placing bets. Oh, shit. And I'm getting rich.

Wait, read the script. No, but everything else freezes. Wait. So the whole world's frozen but me. Right. But me. Wait. I'm going to Vegas.

Oh, that was not... I'm finding a way to get rich. I'm rigging something. I'm But me. Wait. I'm going to Vegas. Oh, that was not the thing. I'm finding a way to get rich. I'm rigging something. I'm robbing a bank. I'm doing something. Robbing a bank would be a good move. No, everything's frozen. That's better than rape.

I mean, yeah. Because when time unfreezes, I'm rich, you're going to jail. Yeah. Probably. Well, same for me, but. I'm rich and You know maybe Maybe I'm going to Bill Gates Maybe I'm going to Bill Gates

Maybe you do both So you can afford the child support Alright that's Well Next question Jake does have the There it is Oh shit

Good tone. I might be myself. What do you do when you're bored? Pretend like I can freeze time. What are your plans for this weekend? Jerk off. Watch football and jerk off and drink beer. What?

That was the answer to the last one. Mostly everything you're doing right now. We're 90% of the way there. What would you advise someone? Would you advise someone to attend a university now that you've completed your education? Absolutely fucking not. I haven't. College is a scam.

Yeah. What makes you nervous? Ooh. Ooh, man. Oh. Do you have any fears? Do you have any fears? Like fear of heights, fear of spiders, fear of snakes? Fear of heights, for sure. Do you nervous? Ooh. Ooh, man. Oh. Do you have any fears? Do you have any fears? Like fear of heights, fear of spiders, fear of snakes?

Fear of heights, for sure. Do you really? Yeah, I can't do heights. Were your legs turning to jello while your little buddy Spencer was up on that lift today? Oh, I can give a fuck about Spencer, but... Yeah, fuck that guy. I was hoping he'd fall. Oh, no, but if it was me, I'd be shitting bricks.

Like, can you just get it on the tree? It's like, I'm trying to. Okay. Usually. I can't do heights. And we're going to get a little introspective here. Is there a root of your fear of heights? Could be.

Did you have any childhood trauma? My dad threw me on a crazy... I was like a kind of bigger kid, so I always fit on the ride, like the actual rides, as like a seven-year-old, six-year-old. You were a husky. Yeah, and we went to... No, but like height. Husky. Elastic husky pants on.

It's all height. Oh, okay. I was fat as shit, but... I'm just kidding. I also hit the height requirements. And, yeah, just doing the, like, crazy, like, some shit at Six Flags. It's like three loops, and holy fuck, man. You crazy... Some shit at Six Flags, it's like three loops. Holy fuck, man.

You're going to shit yourself. I've had tacos, I've had beer. My eyeballs are floating, I got a piss so bad. You're going to get a UTI. Negative. Probably the roller coasters. Also, they threw me on the Sears Tower when I was little. Not threw me on. Okay, what do you mean by threw you on? Threw you? What the fuck is the Sears Tower when I was little. Not threw me on.

Okay, what do you mean by threw you on? Threw you. What the fuck is the Sears Tower? You know that floor? You're like, I don't want to go. I will literally shit. And they're just like. No, I was real young.

I don't care. Five or six. But I just remember peeking out the window at the top. That's in Chicago, right? Yeah. And just being like. Bang. Fuck no.

Nailed it. Like, hell no. You're like, how the fuck did Ferris Bueller do this? Lean it against the glass. I don't even know if that's the same building or not. It is. Is it really? Yeah.

Is that what they were in in the movie? You're so intellectual. I'm quick with the references. Shit. Have you seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Nope. Good point. A group of brand new people can also spook me a little bit.

A group of new people? If I know somebody. So do you have a little social anxiety? For sure. Definitely. What about, because I don't really have social anxiety. Yeah, me neither. What about it?

Man, it's just like. Can you dissect it a little bit? Is it like fear of opinions? No. Is it? I have a theory. Are you afraid of awkwardness? No, I...

I can sit in silence forever with anybody. Well, I know, but there's always a weird rapport that happens when you meet someone new. I guess the awkwardness of being like oh hey i'm uh whoever like what are you into where do you work that 20 times it's like so is it like fear of small talk i don't even know if i think i just don't like small talk i don't know if it's a fear you don't like small talk i don't know if it's because i can do small talk i just don't want to like fuck because like i just don't want to put'm going to put it in all I got to put her in all

I shouldn't have stopped No one knows what we're talking about Because like I love meeting new people I don't love meeting new people But I am capable I don't crumble under The thought of it

Is kind of a fear Once I get in the situation, I'm usually pretty good. Because your charisma takes over and you're just like, I can do this shit. You should be excited to meet me. I went to a wedding before cams that was my girls, all her friends or whatever. And going up to it, I was like. He's taken. He's taken.

Hey. Hey, ladies. Get out the DMs. Get was like... He's taken. Hey, ladies. Get your hand out of your pants. They were never in them. No, they were. I can smell it. God, I don't know. I've been stroking my shits since I got in here. He got the last one. I need another beer.

Oh, there's two more. Oh, shit. There's one for you. Oh, shit. So, pass it this way. There's one for you. Thanks, Benjamin. And? Sorry. It's lit.

One for Mr. George. It's lit. It's sous vide. Oh, wait. That wasn't even the reverb. I mean, it's kind of got reverb. What do you do when you hang out with your friends? I think can all answer that right fucking now you know what we do we fucking drank we fucking drank we drink talk about fucking whatever drink and we create the hottest best

funniest newest up-and-coming podcast in the fucking nation This isn't the outro I just wanted to say that He just wanted to say that If you were We stick to our roots If you were a book What would the title be? Come Pants Come Pants Describe that

That's the first thing That came to mind I need to There's cum in my There's cum Okay there's cum in his pants If I Get up from this chair

To go piss... Yeah? Can we carry this? Is that what you're asking? Do you want me to carry this? Are you capable? Now, is there beer in that other fridge? Whoa.

You don't think we have enough beer? Shit. Can I get another one? I drank it all. But I have some PBRs and some Michelob cans in the garage. Do you want me to go grab them? Okay. I hate to do that to you, but could you?

What was... If my... If you were were a book what would the title be that is very yeah well they could go many ways because you have definitely want me to find a different one that you guys could talk about let me go he's got he's got an interesting life let him go that no i'm trying to he's got an interesting life that probably deserves a book. You know what? Your book name would be I'm an open book? No. Even though I'm currently closed. I would honestly call my book the greatest average athlete.

Oh, he's put some thought into this. That's pretty good. And you know what? I have actually put thought into this. Because my life has been much of a roller coaster and we talked about this today we actually yeah we did where we talked about i am a professional athlete right and i was trying to say how it's bullshit that americans especially they don't they downplay they don't recognize because if you're not in the top league yeah if you're not you're if

you're not in like because i play baseball you're not in like i'm not in the mlb and they're like oh like like what do you do like oh i'm a i'm a i play professional baseball like what i'm like in the american association it's independent professional baseball i'm like oh and they'll downplay it i'm like oh hold on no if you take if you take it from a analytical standpoint like 0.1 percent of all kids that play baseball play professional baseball and you look at it that way you're like holy shit like i'm doing something that like right less than one percent of this population can do you look at it that way, and you're like, damn, that's a huge accomplishment. But they're like, oh, you're not on TV.

You're not making tens of millions of dollars, and they'll downplay it. Right, which is bullshit. Because the word professional is not how much money do you make. It's do you make money doing it. Do you make money while doing it? Right. Yes yes it's not millions of dollars i get that but it's also something that very few people can do it's money in the bank yes i am i am paying my bills putting food on my table and living my life through a

sport you know what i mean? But I do agree. And just conversation with the – There's so much dust. I mean, I'm going to say general population, but not in a mean way. But if I go out and they're like, hey, what do you do for a living? I'm like, oh, I play professional baseball. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Right. And I've actually put thoughts like i know the topic of this conversation is a book but if i went back and i wrote down my path to where i'm at today let's say start from just strictly baseball let's let's say i started playing baseball and when i was six years old right t-ball to coach pitch to Little League to select ball, high school, college, and then professional. And if I wrote it out in a very detail-oriented way of my journey of the ups and downs, the injuries, the depression, the barely being able to pay rent, the odd jobs I had to work. And you took the time and read that book. You'd be like, holy shit, how the fuck did this guy get to where he is?

There's so much more to it than just being good at throwing and running. You know what I mean? I could brush the surface of, hey, yeah, I got to high school. I was very good at baseball. I was a good player on the team. And then I went to college, tore it up. College scouts looked at me, got drafted, this and that. Oh, I didn't make it because I had an injury.

Oh, the classic tale. And now I'm playing independent baseball. I could brush the surface and be like, okay, that's like a classic story of someone who was good enough but didn't make it. Now, if I got into the fine details of life, like working at Amazon, working at a golf course, doing hard physical labor, 50-hour weeks, working a job, waking up at 5 a.m.,

having to get my calories in, getting them in, working from 8 to 4 p.m., boom. Go to the gym, hit, throw, work out, get home at 9, 10 o'clock, sleep five hours, rinse and repeat that five days a week. And you're like, how the fuck is this guy doing this? Because most people work a physical, like, this isn't like I'm sitting at a desk. I'm doing most of the jobs I've worked throughout my life is like, damn.

I'm doing hard physical life is like, damn. I'm doing hard physical work, into baseball, a full baseball practice, then the gym, eat, and by then I'm getting four or five hours of sleep, and I rinse and repeat that throughout the whole offseason. Then I get into baseball season. Now I've got to perform at a high level to continue to chase my dream. That's dedication. Yeah. But if I were to write a book about that, people would get an get it like an wait so what would the name be the best average athlete best average athlete yeah real quick we got to hit you with the it's lit wait that was like oh i forgot i

don't have the reverb on i have the sounds like you're in the other room on oh sorry we can do it again when you open a new beer i i got into i really got deep into that conversation that's all right yeah you missed it but there's not a lot of people that are willing to talk about it but what and you're not ready for this conversation yeah but like not many people would probably want to read that book but if i were to actually write a detailed book like let's say i call it the greatest well you know what i would argue that let's say this how many kids athletes across america are aspiring to be professional athletes i'd say a lot probably majority of them yeah but a lot of them don't realize how realistic the possibility of it is. And you're going to fail. Yeah.

Luckily, my dad, when people were like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And I was like, I want to be a professional football player. My dad was like, just so you know, that's not going to happen. And I'm like, what? And he's like, the odds of you being a pro athlete are fucking... You should stay at school. When you were 6'7", was he like,

well, maybe I was wrong. I don't know. No. I mean, my dad wasn't a complete asshole like that, but he was like... He more or less was just like, I don't want you to get crushed. Right.

Like, this is all fine and dandy of a fantasy, but just be aware that there's a very slim chance that it will actually happen. So I don't want you to get your hopes up. But you can give a realistic outlook on what it looks like. And I feel like, i can and if i were even to get into like if i were to put myself in a like i'm not a dad but i could put myself in a parental shoes i don't think i would want to tell my kid like hey like like i want to let you know like this is very slim chances unrealistic because you gotta put in so much more work and effort you really do but like i feel like

as a father you should know that and maybe if you see that your child like hey like this is this is a dream to be a professional athlete let me guide him yeah sure towards what he needs to do and if he picks up on it and he takes off with this like sure but i don't want to like i feel like let's say he gets to his freshman sophomore junior of high school and like that that realization starts to set in there hey i can't in the upper yeah and i he's i think that realization which would be so sick like even if he threw 88 in high school, I'm Randy Johnson. You guys may as well be. But I think that realization just should set in naturally.

And I think that's a better learning curve for that person. I'm just speaking through my experience. Because let's say my junior year, it set in that I realized, oh, I actually can't be a professional athlete. But I worked towards that my whole life. I developed that work ethic, that mindset towards success. You know what? I think that's going to set you towards a different avenue of success because at some point you are going to get a realization.

I can't do this. But now you're going to pick something else. But because those steps towards life of trying to be a professional athlete developed a great work ethic, a great mindset of being a winner and achiever, and now you're going to pick a different avenue because you can't do it anymore. And guess what? Let's say this. Even if you make it as a professional athlete, people still might not even know your name.

I don't think Jake was here for when we talked about this and when we talked about this today earlier. Yeah, at work. So would you consider Zane a professional baseball player? Well, yeah. He gets paid to play baseball. No, we're having this discussion, though, because... There are different levels.

There are different tiers. No, but we're talking about hockey, for example. Anybody who's played in the OHL or the Russian KHL or NHL, whatever, it's all considered professional play. I'll say this. I don't consider Dylan Raiola a professional athlete, even though he gets paid. But, dude, he's a college athlete.

He is at an elevated level. He's above college. He could get called up if a team wanted to. I think college is at a different level now, though, as far as professionalism goes. But he's on a higher up. Because they're getting paid. He's above college. They're not getting paid to go get a 4.0 and fucking whatever.

He's not getting, you know. I mean, I feel like the- He's getting paid to play fucking football. He's getting paid for his name. He's not getting paid for his athletic ability. He is. They would have paid him if he sucked at football. I mean, the definition is kind of-

No, no, no. I'm talking about- I'm not saying the university paying him. I'm talking about other, like, brands. Oh, yeah. NIL deals. He's a sponsored athlete making money in college. It's literally called name, image, and likeness.

Right. He's getting... That means if you buy a 15 jersey that says Raiola on the back, he gets a cut. That has nothing to do with his skill. It's his name. No, but it – His skill got him to Nebraska. Right.

But he's still a college athlete. Right. That's getting paid off of his name and like – It should be different because like he's not a professional athlete. There was a question earlier that was like, do you think athletes – do you remember that? Where it was like, do you think athletes should get what they're getting? Well, they should. But what I'm saying is, you know, Amigo shirts for the name or whatever.

$400 million. But to a degree, the school wants them to come there, so they're going to be willing to pay money. The scholarship and whatever other money they can get. Right, and sure, it might not come from them or whatever. Tutors. Right. They're paying them to play football. Nebraska paid Dylan Raiola to fucking play quarterback at University of Nebraska.

There's no other, it wasn't just because he's Dylan Raiola. It was because he's great at football. He can toss the pigskin around. He's good at football. He's not great. He's good. The guy can't throw a 40-yard open pass. He can throw it to the other team.

He's not that bad. He's not Jeff Sims bad. Okay, I'm not going to shit on him. He is a phenomenal quarterback. For a true freshman, he's doing what he should be doing. Yes. You have to think about what he's got to work with. He has a high ceiling.

I've been a quarterback before. I'm not saying I can relate to Dylan Raiola. But if you don't have a line and you get the ball snapped to you and you have one second snapped to you and you have it's a level of one second yeah you know you can't and then you're running can't process the your wide receivers routes you're not comfortable you're thinking about getting sacked you're not processing the play right yeah i don't know if you've i've guys have ever tried to throw a football with shoulder pads and a helmet on while running it's different it's hard to see yeah for sure especially when you got linemen defense your linemen defensive linemen that are all sometimes taller than you we get

the wide view on the tv where we see everything because he's not because because i was a i was a quarterback growing up and you're basically dylanaiola. I mean, let's be honest. I'm the Dylan Raiola that never happened. I'm the Dylan Raiola of Washington. I'm going to take you. All I'm trying to say is, I know when I was a quarterback, and say you're in the shotgun, you get a snap, and someone's busting through your line about to sack you. You have to start running.

You're trying to find your route, and then you see him, you're scrambling, and it's chaos it's it's chaos you got you know that guy over there's running a slant but for the time being i gotta not get sacked yeah you're not so then i don't care what he's their route doesn't matter anymore you're like i don't want to get tackled but then at the same time you're like i need to get rid of this ball at the same time it's an interception yeah there's a lot of football is chaos it's control you have to control the chaos to be great yeah and it's very fucking tough football what's the strangest dream you've ever had um oh i'll tell you right now no way i um

he's quick in my dream every single one of his responses, he's just like... Instant. Cum rag. Like, even if it doesn't actually make sense... Pocket pussy. No. Bill Cosby. No.

No. What's the weirdest thing you've ever came inside? All right. Okay, hold on. Strange dream. Let him go. Let him go. What?

I was about to say something crazy. That's one of them guys. Stop with that. Dog. No, it wasn't even that. It was crazier than that. Okay, hold on. No, no, no.

We're not playing this game. Let him go. Let him go. Let the man bring it. I killed my neighbor. Was she hot? No, it was a kid. In the dream, I kill him, try and hide his body,

and then his mom shows up to my door, sobbing, like, where is he? And you have to pretend like you don't know. And then I woke up after that, legit thinking I was going to have a heart attack. I was so stressed out from the dream. You're like, I didn't want to, but in the dream I did. Dude, I woke up, I was like... So you from the dream you're like i didn't want to but in the dream i did dude i woke up i was like so you had a dream you killed someone i've had multiple i've had two

of those i've had one not too long ago i could get psychoanalytical here but i won't oh please do please do actually i'm now i'm so fascinated by dreams who do i I want to kill? It might not necessarily mean you want to kill, but I often have dreams where I'm fighting someone and beating the shit out of them. And remember how you were just talking about how I'm so calm and chill in real life? Your aggressiveness is getting released in a different avenue. Right, in a healthy...

Like, for example... There's a healthy like for example but is it healthy i'll tell you the most recent one i had uh this isn't probably the strangest dream but i remember not that long ago i had a dream my grandmother's farm little black boys a little like i was trying to remember the clothes i have a dream okay who killed mlk there was a dream i had recently where my grandma's farm my grandpa passed away my grandpa my grandma's living by herself not that long ago we had a huge farm sale this is probably what was making me think about it we i had a dream where one of the old barns she was like converting into like a bakery or something where she was selling like baked goods and there was a bunch of people coming onto the farm to like buy like baked goods and there was

a table set up and it had like cookies and cupcakes and muffins or whatever on it right yeah we weren't i was trying to be anyways there was a guy that came up to this table and he was just like i want to sample this real quick before i buy it and without even anyone saying anything he just picked up the muffin and took a big old honk out of it and then just like set it down and immediately a big old honk out of it. And then just, like, set it down and immediately turned around and went and walked into his car. And I'm like, hey! Because he, like, took a bite out of the muffin and then left. And I, in my dream, I shot a spitball at him.

I, for some reason, a spitball formed in my hand. Out of a straw? Like a straw that was like yay big. Oh, that's a big straw. And I went, and a fucking spitball hit him right here in the jaw. Son of a gun. And he got out of the car and was like, what the fuck, man? And then I beat the ever-living piss out of him right then and there.

So. Well, what's weird about- It probably means I have some sort of pent-up aggression. A lot of people have dreams where when they fight somebody, they can't punch back. No, in my dreams, I'm caving their head in.

You're the prime Mike Tyson. Right. Two-piecing them. It's usually for a good reason. Someone's picking on One of my friends Yeah Or someone's being mean To someone else

It's not like you're just Picking a fight No I'm not doing it for I'm doing it because I'm standing up for someone And I'm rectifying a situation Yes Man

So Huh In your dream You're killing someone I've had a I had So I've had two of those. And the most recent one, I can't really remember how or why.

So you don't remember the reason. The first one I had was the one I just told you about. Second one, I can't remember what, but I remember killing somebody, hiding from it. And waking up, like, in the dream I get caught. But then I wake up right away and just being so thankful. That's not real. My reality is that I just woke up. Because it took me a couple minutes to be like...

Like, my heart was, like, pumping. Like, what do I do? And then I was like, oh, that wasn't real. To me, that says there's some part of your life that you're trying to stop or get rid of. Or maybe the same thing, some sort of pent-up aggression. Because you're like me, you're really chill. And you would never actually do that in real life. So in your dream, when it happens, you're just like, oh, fuck.

Why did I do that? I don't want to be in trouble for that. You're like that i don't want to be in trouble for that somebody right yeah you're like i don't want to get in trouble for that and so you're trying to hide it because you're just like i shouldn't have done that i think it is a fear of maybe getting in trouble because we talked about that on the pod as well is my kind of like when i was a kid i never wanted to like i was always into do dumb shit but if it led to getting in trouble i was like well let's not do that okay okay i don't want to fucking talk it to you like we don't need to have that could very much well be the case too because there's no higher stakes and there's nothing

you could get more in trouble for than murdering someone else yeah yeah so your brain might just jump to the most extreme case scenario yeah and you don't want to get in trouble for it. Might be. So that might be it. That honestly is. Could be. What do you think stems your dreams? Because, like, I don't. A lot of times you'll dream about something that you were thinking about during the day,

either consciously or unconsciously. Because I don't. Like, I dream about work a lot. Like, for me, I don't dream. You don't – Like I dream about work a lot. Like I don't – like for me, I don't dream. You don't dream. I very rarely have a dream. Well, you did tell us – Because like I –

You did just tell us that you haven't been getting a lot of sleep because of how busy you are. The dreams usually happen when you're in a deeper sleep. See, this is – So you might not be getting deeper sleep. I mean for Years and years. Also, you forget your dreams very fast after you wake up. So there's a real possibility you have a dream. Because I would say I had a vivid dream probably about a week ago.

Was it the weirdest dream you've ever had? Because that's the question. I'm just kidding. I mean, it was weird, but it also made sense at the same time. But cause you just asked that question. Obviously Ben was giving his answer and I was sitting here pondering. What's the weirdest thing you've ever had?

Murder. Well, I killed him. No, but it's like, I killed my neighbor. You know, I like how, how often do you think, in one month,

how often do you have a dream that you could vividly remember and retell the story to say... Well, I just did. Yeah, but like... How often do you think you could remember and tell a dream? It depends on how intently you are trying to lock it into your long-term memory. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to sound like a doctor.

Go right ahead. But I had an art class in college. A drawing class. And we had to do a project where we chose an artist and gave a presentation on them and i chose salvador dali and a lot of his drawings and paintings he based off of his dreams because they were just surreal concepts so my teacher let me keep a dream journal and since i wrote them down and talked about them, I committed them to my long-term memory. So a couple of them I can remember. Yeah.

Because I wrote them down and I talked about them. So, you know, it depends on how vivid the dream is. And if you actually want to remember. True. If you talk about it, if you recite what happened to someone else Like we just did Now I'm going to remember this forever Because I just recited it to Ben

And you guys live on the pod The time I spit a spitball into some guy's jaw And then Knocked his block off Because I I couldn't recall I don't think I could recall a dream besides the one that I, because I think the last vivid dream I had was last week.

But other than that, I don't think I could recall a dream I had before that. That's fine. Doesn't mean anything's wrong. No, I'm not saying it's wrong, but like it does kind of get interesting. I think they say 90% of – you forget 90% of your dream within the first like minute. Or you forget like half of your dream within 90 seconds or something like that. Because in the middle of the night, I'll have a dream and I'll wake up and say it was like a bad dream. I'll wake up and be like, holy fuck.

You know, like what the fuck is going on? And I'll just go right back to sleep. And I'll wake up and I'll be like, wow, I had a bad dream i'll wake up be like holy fuck you know like what the fuck's going on and i'll just go right back to sleep and i'll wake up and i'll be like wow i had a bad dream last night but then i'll go about my day and i'll just never think of it again do you remember being a kid and having a bad dream waking up in the middle of the night and being like i don't want to go back to sleep right away and jump right back into that dream again which now i'll sometimes just like try and be like i gotta go to sleep you're like man i was tripping man no just try and be like, I gotta go to sleep. You're like, man, I was tripping, man. No, I'll be like, that dream was so good. Like, please.

You're like, I'm not getting... Oh, yeah, like if you're having a sex dream, you're just like, fuck, I woke up before I nutted and I want to get right back in. You ever wet dream before? Okay. Can we talk about that? I've had sex dreams before. I've never actually came. I've never came in my pants.

Yeah, I don't know how people do that. The word wet dream is thrown around so commonly. I came in my dreams and not had a wet dream. Same. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think wet dreams are real. I don't know how that happens.

Like, who the fuck's nutting in their sleep? Well, unless it's like a little pre-cum. You know what I mean? Well, but even then, no, I'll change. You know better than to call that. Right. Come on. Come on.

I mean, literally. I had a buddy in a... So, through the internet. You had a buddy through the internet. So, my buddies from high school knew a guy who they went to elementary school. He moved, like, way away. But they stay in touch with him through the, like, internet, playing video games and everything.

Yeah. And he, dude, this guy. This fucking guy. This guy. Set a picture of his wet dream. What do you mean? To our buddy. He was like, look at my nut.

Yeah, no, he did. And so, we just call him cum pants now. What did I say? Like, he had a wet spot on his pants. And he's like, I just woke nut. Yeah, no, he did. And so we just call him cum pants now. What did I say? Like he had a wet spot on his pants, and he's like, I just woke up. No, he legit sent. So like, what? Yeah, no, he legit sent the excrement. Have you ever dreamt about?

A chocolate? I just remember my dream from last night. Have you ever had a dream where you're like trying to find a good vid and you can't? What, on the hub or something? Just in general. Oh, no. You haven't? No.

I'm just a freak. Okay. I don't like using the hub. What do you use? Well, we can't in Nebraska. Well, if you had a VPN, if you had any sort of... Well, I don't. Well, come on.

I realized cellular connection also works. Because I think we're in like... No. Yeah, no, it does. If you get off your Wi-Fi, it works? Yeah, try it. Try it right now. Maybe not.

I'll try it right now. My phones are running. Go ahead and do it. But anyways... Look it up for the podcast to see. I'm just kidding. Don't. So, we all know it's unhealthy to watch porn.

Right? Porn hub. Depending on... I think it... We all know it's unhealthy to watch porn, right? Porn hub. Depending on. I think it, I mean, I believe it's unhealthy. But as human beings, we all jerk off. They got me. We all masturbate, right?

Yeah. Correct. But I think the most fun way and the most healthy way. What are we doing? But anyways, the most healthy is imagination. Dude, that was my whole middle school. Either past experiences or just straight up imagination. No any one person can determine what is or is not healthy for a person. Porn can't be healthy. But porn can't be healthy. It is.

But porn can't be healthy. Just like cigarettes. There's no way cigarettes are healthy. But it is up to you how much you indulge. Oh, yeah. I'm sure if you're on Pornhub every single night, yeah, sure, that is extremely unhealthy. But if maybe once a month you're like fuck dude like i got blue balls i need to whack one off yeah and you hop on the hub and you watch like a mia khalifa video and you'll fucking fucking rub one out like i don't think there's probably anything unhealthy about that kids now even know about mia khalifa oh for sure do they

is that she's don't they say that like she only was a porn star for like three months? Yeah, it was quick. Yeah. Have you ever seen the video of her spreading it? She was just pounding out content. She was. Literally. Yeah. Great videos.

Dude, she was like. I've seen a couple. Seen one or two or all of them twice. I'm trying to think of like a, I want to say like a lamello ball of porn where it was like. Whoa. She had a cool mixtape Remember when LaMelo LaMelo's in the

High school No but see that's a bad example LaMelo's in the NBA He's pretty LiAngelo LiAngelo Yeah He had a sick high school mixtape

Michael LiAngelo ball Dude Guy had a sick mixtape Then tried to go to the league Sucked ass Well He was at UCLA And got in trouble right

Didn't he steal No but then he got in trouble. He went to an NBA team. No, he played in the D League for a year but never made it. Oh, that's what it was. Yeah. But he was the least athletic and good ball brother. And he could ball, which says something about fucking there.

I mean, granted, if we played one-on-one, he would probably, if we played 11, he would 11-0 me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying he's a bad basketball player. You might be able to get a point on him. Okay, 11-2. I'll give you a point. Two points is, yeah, it's for real. Yeah, but like I'm just saying, I'm not dissing on him.

But he's a great basketball player, but to the level of the three, he is the third. What is the first, this question. This is the type of shit... I might... I think I kind of missed my calling to be a psychologist, therapist, but this is the kind of shit I love hearing about about people. Yeah, for sure.

What is the first thing you do when you wake up? I love hearing about people's habits as human beings. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? I love hearing about people's habits as human beings. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Check the time. Okay. Let's walk through our morning routines. Yeah, let's walk through it.

So I have a weird morning. I don't sleep. I love this shit, dude. I literally love this. I can't remember the last time I slept a straight eight hour just through. I don't think you should sleep eight hours. Well, because you normally fall asleep on the couch. But even if I'm in my bed, so I'll go to bed, let's say 11.

I'm waking up at 530 every time. But you don't have to be at work for two more hours. Right. Or, well... You're different because you have class. No, but work is always in front of... Work, work. No, but it's always earlier than class would be.

Nice painting, Peyton. But so, well, it depends if I'm working. When I was in Omaha, it was wake up, throw a shirt and shorts on, and turn that coffee pot on. Okay. And then worry. Your coffee, you start the coffee in the morning. Well, because that's what I. Do you throw your grounds and water in the night before and then start it in the morning?

Fuck no. You put everything in the morning and then start it real quick. I'm throwing Folgers in the coffee pot. Okay. I'm starting that thing. Is it a Mr. Coffee? It was a Mr. Coffee. It was? Well, I'm not there in Omaha the coffee pot. I'm starting that thing. Is it a Mr. Coffee? It was a Mr. Coffee. Was?

Well, I'm not there in Omaha. Is it not still? I'm not in Omaha anymore. Now it's a Keurig. Okay, okay, okay. I have a Keurig, which is very nice. Keurig. It's so nice.

The best part of waking up is Folgers in America. It's lit. Oh, fuck. I only did mine. Oh, yeah. Coffee. And then I start thinking. Then I just put some music on.

Then you start thinking. Music. Yeah. Interesting. I'll go coffee, get the tummy starting with the coffee. Go to the bowl. He's got to take a coffee. Go to the bowl. He's got to take a leak. Find the shit bowl.

You shit in the morning? He's a morning shitter. Almost immediately. He's a morning shitter. This sounds so weird, but I love learning about people's habits. Because I'm heavily addicted to nicotine and caffeine. Sounds like that's American. Which is very prevalent with shitting. So I'll do those two.

Take a shit. You got somewhere to be? What's up? Absolutely not. Okay. Just fucking asshole. Whoa. What?

Hold on. I'm invested into this. Continue. Please continue. I'm fucking invested right now I'm a little concerned Because I have not heard anything About brushing any teeth yet No

Let him go He's not You don't You don't Brush your teeth Then drink coffee Usually comes after the shit Let's be honest

Yeah Let him fucking go You brush teeth Then drink coffee Well yeah That's weird I take coffee to work I don't brush my teeth at well yeah i don't that's weird i take coffee to work i don't brush my teeth at work at 10 a.m okay that's different my coffee but that's different

though you don't wait if i i don't i think it would be more weird if you immediately woke up went through your routine brush your teeth and drink coffee but i i gotta brush my teeth before i leave my house and then i drink coffee at work. That's different. But then your breath smells like shit. No, that's just different. It's the process. You already left your house. Yeah.

I don't know. I get up, and I brush the morning breath out of my mouth. My girlfriend says that, too, because when I wake up, I go through my morning routine, eat breakfast and stuff, and then I brush my teeth and leave. And she's like, you can't do that. I'm like, but that makes sense to me. So what you do is you do everything and then brush your teeth and then leave the door. The last thing I do is brush my teeth, put on my deodorant. That's fair.

That probably would be the best thing. Right. Because in my mind, I want to go through my morning routine, like brushing my teeth, the deodorant, everything. It's like I am starting my day fresh. I'm walking out my door, and I'm ready to go. It's fresh and new. Right. Where I felt like if I wake up, brush my teeth, do my morning routine, throw the deodorant on then eat breakfast blah

blah blah i'm not leaving my house fresh and renewed that's fine you want to that's that's just how my mind works that's fair um the last thing the other thing i love hearing about what what's up i was just pressure t is the the when i leave when i walk out my door i want to feel fresh and renewed. Clean. That's fair. Good to go. And then if I – I kind of like feeling like a scoundrel.

I'm just kidding. No. Hey, teach the wrong – I'm dirty. Teach them, brother. I'm a dirty boy. No, I'm just kidding. That's an absolutely fair assessment.

The other thing I love hearing about, what is your first alarm? What time? And how many other alarms do you snooze? I love talking about sleep and waking up. I don't know. Compared to the average person, I'm probably more of a psychopath when I wake up. So we get to work. Our work starts at 730.

I leave my house at 7 o'clock on the dot. It takes me 25 minutes to get to work. I'm very logical. But I wake up at 6 o'clock on the dot. It takes me 25 minutes to get to work. I'm very logical. I wake up at 6 o'clock. That alarm hits. So you have one alarm? When my alarm hits in the morning, I sit straight up.

I'm not a snoozer. I am very rarely. For real. I got a taker. Yesterday or today, I was a snoozer because I got two, three hours of sleep. Things get a little bit lax in the wintertime. There is a little bit of like there's variables to it. But 95% of the time when my alarm hits, I say I'm sleeping.

I wake up and I'm on the edge of my bed. I don't turn that alarm off until I'm sitting on the edge of my bed i turn it off you leave it go to make you get up once once i'm sitting on the edge of my bed i turn it off and i stand up and i go yeah and the first thing i do i stand up i take a piss i whatever it needs to do i look in the fucking mirror but like i look i i don't know if this is weird to me but like sometimes like i'll be like in the fucking mirror but like i look i i don't know if this is weird to me but like sometimes like i'll be like fuck i'm tired but like you know when the light the first time the lights hit you gotta squint a little bit and like it's i'll look myself in the eyes i'd be like let's fucking go let's fucking wake up pussy and it's like i go into

my room honestly you are such a self-motivated person that doesn't surprise me. And it's just like, it's weird. Maybe it's just... I love the idea of self-motivation and getting in your own head and the psyche. I have to almost talk shit to myself to get myself... I have to shit on myself to get myself going. Where I'll be fucking tired. I'm dead fucking tired in the morning. But i'll be like fucking tired like i i'm i'm dead fucking tired in the morning but i i'll be like i'm fucking tired but it's like i'll look at

myself in the mirror and be like all right let's fucking go dude right and it's like and it's like it's like it's like a click of the fingers like all right if i don't get going if i don't go in there get dressed pack my gym like get all my gym stuff in there get my baseball stuff in my bag get everything i need for work after work and then to home because i have to go in there i have to make my breakfast i have to get my lunch out put it in my bag have my gym stuff ready and then that way when seven when i have to leave my house at seven o'clock because if i leave at 705 i'm late to work i have to i have to like i'm like it's like a go go go because i wake up at 7.05, I'm late to work. I have to like – I'm like – it's like a go, go, go. Because I wake up at 5.30, but then it's like I could like –

I could – all right, I know I don't have to get going until 6, so I could snooze until 5.45. Where if I like – I pressure myself. All right, if I wake up at 6 and if I don't get going, I'm going to be fucking late. And it's going to piss me off and it's going to ruin my fucking day. So it forces me to get going i'm gonna be fucking late and it's gonna piss me off and it's gonna ruin my fucking day so it forces me to get going i hear you have you ever thought about um i've heard of people doing this and i feel like you have the type of lifestyle that would bode well with this have you thought ever about well i guess you couldn't let's say you don't have your like coaching job you just have wilderness

um or concrete okay let's just say you just have your day job at wilderness yep that's all i do would you ever that's all i do let's let's for this sake would you hypothetically speaking hypoth. Would you ever do... I feel like I got a sneeze. I'm sorry. I've heard of people doing this where they go, I wake up at like 2 a.m. And I like work out, hang out until I have to leave for work. But then right after I get done with work, I sleep. And then they sleep from like 6 to 2 a.m.

That's psychotic. would you ever consider that i feel like you i feel like you would be the type of person that would maybe be open to it because you're like i wake up everyone's still asleep i feel at peace knowing that like i can do whatever i want like i could go work out at my own pace, zero traffic. If you went to like a 24-hour Zoom gym. You kind of like that idea, don't you? If I hypothetically think about it.

It sounds kind of nice. If that was my daily routine and that became normal, I think I would like it. If you didn't have a job after work or when you get done with work, When I get home and I have no responsibilities i have but yes and no because shotgunning what because but yes and no because that would cut a social life out of my life right this is only so i would say no i would say no no no i get it. But this type of lifestyle is only for a hard, single hermit.

Like Bryce could do this. Yeah. I'm kind of shitting on Bryce. But not really because that's just how he functions. That's just who he is. If you were a real loner. That's my doll. We're getting the shotgun at two hour mark.

Shout out Broads. I figured it was time. How many are left in there? For the first time ever, we've had to... Two. For the first time ever, I'll take one. We've had to go outside... The normal realm.

We've had to go outside of what the mini fridge provides. Because we drank all of its contents. That's a hell of a podcast. Hey. But no, that kind of lifestyle I feel like is only for someone who is like, I have no one but myself to worry about

and that's all I am worried about. Where all I need to do is work and sleep and I'm fine with spending my free time by myself and because no one i could do i could i could 100 do that and i could probably do that till the day i die i 100 could but i also realized that wouldn't be a satisfactory life you know as i feel like kind of a sad life it would but very but the thing is i could go through my daily life and be satisfied with that but i also am conscious and aware enough

that you would have to flip your sleep i know when i got to my deathbed i'd be like why the fuck did i do that for 40 fucking years that's fair you know what i? So like is my body and my mind wired to do that? Yes, I could, and I would love it. But I also realize that's not what life is about. No, you need a life outside of work. Yeah. And you'll fucking hate yourself if all you think about is – because there's a point you work out in the morning, you forget about that. That never happened.

When hour six of work clocks know clocks in it's like fuck well and then the thing is if you flipped your sleep schedule like that by the end of the work day your body's anticipating going to sleep so by the end of the day you'd be exhausted yeah so like let's say i'm like trying to sleep yeah right and even then like say a social opportunity came up where like say that's my like i have to go to bed you know like hey And even then, like, say a social opportunity came up where, like, say that's my room. Like, I have to go to bed. You know, like, hey, dude, let's go to Cappy's and play some pool and hang out. And I'd be like, dude, you know what?

I can't. I got to be up at 2 a.m. You know what? I got to go to bed. Are we doing that? I mean, we totally could. I'm so down. Tonight.

Tonight? Cappy's pool? Well, I mean. Are you shitting me? Fuck. What? You got work tomorrow or something? Yeah what do you got work

Shit Maybe even Spencer wants to go Who's driving us? Lena Uber Uber I can drive We could honestly probably walk

Fuck I mean it takes 10 minutes I could probably drive But maybe not back Absolutely Maybe not back Hey how about this The next question

If you want Lay it on me I am so invested. What would be your perfect weekend? Let's start with Friday night to Sunday evening. Laid on us, Ben. All right, so Friday night is with the fellas, 100%. Doing this?

This. Whatever it is, just hanging out, watching something, playing pool, whatever it is, playing darts at a bar or something. Darts at a bar. Saturday would probably be pretty similar. Shit. But start waiting. You can't just do a back-to-back-to-back week.

We doing it this Friday. We doing it Saturday. We doing it Sunday. Friday night, we're hanging out with the boys. Saturday, we're hanging out with the boys. Saturday night, we're hanging out with the boys. Saturday, we're hanging out with the boys. Sunday night, football with the boys. Wait, are we saying this is like a trip? No, no.

You're a perfect weekend. Anything is possible. All right, so yeah. Saturday with the boys. Saturday with the boys. Saturday, it could be the female, like the girlfriends, everybody. We do a dinner. We drink at the dinner.

What do you mean? What do you mean? You and your girlfriend go on a date? No, like maybe we go for a group. You keep saying we. Are you saying the boys or you and your girlfriend? So I'm back on the we thing. Like maybe we all go to dinner somewhere.

We as in like we all go to dinner saturday night like me my girlfriend you your girlfriend jake and lena like a like a right saturday night like yeah like just group date right and then okay us and our we do that others but then we split up into two groups. The males and the females. Okay, segregation. We relive the Friday, right? Wait, what happens all day Saturday? That's recovery and then dinner happens. Recovery the whole day and then back to dinner. I mean, you know.

Okay. The hangover. You watch football. You get a breakfast burrito. You watch football. Maybe you eat a lunch passed out for a couple hours. Right. Dinner happens.

You sleep in. Right. Hearty breakfast. Nap. On the blackstone. Watch a little college football. Dinner happens. I'm saying yours for you, but I'm on page with you.

You're mapping it perfectly. Okay. So, yeah, that all happens. Then we go get a dinner with everybody. With everyone. The whole fam. The whole fam. We hang out. Okay. But so yeah, that all happens. Then we go get a dinner with everybody. With everyone. The whole fam. The whole fam. We hang out. Whatever. It doesn't have to be it can be like a two hour. Do you want to do like some couples things? Because we haven't. I'd be down.

Well, you just said it was for your ideal weekend it would happen. I mean. So it sounds like you wanted to happen. Let's make it happen. I would want my lady to be a part of my ideal weekend. Well, let's go. Let's go bowling. She is more than welcome. No, I brought a boy. She hates bowling.

Oh, no. I might have to break up with her. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What does your girlfriend like to do? Nothing. Let's find a group activity. Work? No.

Let's button. Let's find something that we all. No cheese, no crust. None? No. None? None? We got to find something we could do as a group then.

I think she'd be fine with bowling. You just said she hates bowling. No, but in a group setting, I think it's different. Would she like coming over and just hanging out? She'd be into that. Playing one night one. Cards of humanity. Or even that.

Where we all just hang out. Just a vibe. What time is the game tomorrow? Two thirty Two? I don't know Yeah it is two It's like two I think it's two thirty

Like maybe like I'm going to the game so Oh you're going? Yeah if you're playing With her? No But she will be there It's kind of weird

So my dad has tickets I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. My dad has tickets. So I said I'd go with him. And then she was like, well, I'm going with my dad. Oh, I see what's going on now. That's fun. I'm picking up.

I may meet her dad. I may not. That's a big step. I just want your ideal weekend to come to fruition. All right, and then Sunday is more of... We can make it happen. So the Saturday's with everybody. Okay, what happens after dinner?

When we split up and segregate? Take me there. Probably the women have women time. Right. They do their gossiping. They do their... Yeah, maybe they powder their fucking nose. Yeah, all like change their tampons or whatever they do.

I don't know. I don't know what women do. They go read a book or something. Scissor? I don't know. Oh, know. I don't know what women do. They go read a book or something. Scissor? I don't know. Oh, okay. I don't know what girls do. Pause.

I'm sorry. Suck a dildo? I don't know. I don't know what women do. Whatever they do. Put on lip gloss and color? I don't know. Yeah.

Highlighter? What the fuck's a highlighter? I don't know. But whatever. I can tell you what the boys are doing. I can tell you what the boys are doing. I can tell you what the boys are doing. Play Halo 2 on the Xbox 360.

We split screen it in the basement while they get ready. Are you screen peeking? It's 2008. How do you know I have the rocket launcher? But so we're doing that. And then Sunday is just probably more me and my chick just hanging out. Another breakfast burrito right into the face. Oh, for sure.

Cooked on the Blackstone. Lunch. She's definitely making lunch. I really hope you get that Blackstone. I want it. I might start buying Zins and not even have them just so you get it. That'd be good. Honestly, that would probably be cheaper just to buy one at that point.

Oh, I've done the math. It's 100%. I could have bought a Blackstone. If I were to stop Zins, I would have saved 50% of the money. Probably. But it's the principle. What you could do, though, is bag the Zins, I would have saved 50% of the money. Probably. But it's the principle. What you could do, though, is bag the Zins and then give him the king. I believe the late, great, he's not dead, I don't think, Peter LaFleur from Dodgeball.

Sure. Vince Vaughn. In the movie, he goes, money won is a lot sweeter than money earned. Yes. I want to win the... Will they beat Globo Gym? The Globo Gym Purple Cobras. That's such a classic.

Oh yeah, that's what it is. You know what? We need to make a goal. We don't ever watch any movies together. We should watch movies. I love watching movies and I love hanging out with the boys. Yeah. We need to watch some movies together.

I'd be down for some... Like some funny movies. Right. Not even necessarily. Not even. Some would just agree. Like the Hateful Eight. I would love to watch the Hateful Eight.

Interstellar. Never seen it. I always say I'm... Let's get drunk and watch Interstellar. I've never seen Interstellar. Never seen it. Let's get drunk and watch Interstellar. I've always said I wanted to do that, but I might regret it. What's the other movie that people say is the best movie ever? People always say Pulp Fiction. Not that great.

It's good. Not great. I can't get on more of them. It's a funny movie. It is the greatest movie ever. No. No, no, no. What do people say is the greatest? Oh, Interstellar's up there.

And there's something they associate with Interstellar. The Godfather. No, Interstellar, there's another one. What was that? The Bottles of... No, the Bottles of Redwood. Okay. What is the greatest movie ever?

Gladiator. Oh, 300. Apartment 7A. What? Stream. Spartans! spotten imaginary what is your profession that's oh dude 300 oh my god 300 i love a good war movie dude this is bro saving private ryan saving private ryan is up there Save and Private Ryan is up there That shit Oh have you ever seen What is it The Pianist

Have you seen that movie No I've heard of that Oh my god Dude that movie is so good Regardless we should get together And watch some movies I'd be down Honestly

We might need to end this We are getting so fucking in the weeds here How long have we been What's the ETA How long have we been on this podcast 4 hours and 13 minutes We might need to end this. We are getting so fucking in the weeds here. What's the ETA? How long have we been on this podcast? Four hours and 13 minutes. Is this a record?

Yes. It is, yeah. To be honest. It felt like an hour. I haven't even thought about time since we've been doing this. To be honest, I'm drunk now. I'm drunk now. I just cracked open another beer. Let's let it roll for another 20

Fuck it You wanna go for 230? How much you got in there? Probably about half Probably about half You wanna go till 230? Fuck it why not Alright

What do you got What do you think of online education? These fucking topics are so gay That's like some Andrew Tate shit Online education is great for retards like me Yeah Okay Hold on.

You can learn anything. What's the first thing you do after school or work? We started at the beginning of the day. Let's go back. Now let's go to the end. Back to the future. Like this homework count is... Sure.

All right. Well, like ending school or whatever. Is this in the current time? What is the first thing you do when you get in the door of your house? And I'm done. I have no more responsibility. Yeah, like my day is done. Because when I get off work.

You walk in the door. What's the first thing you do? Oh, well, that's different. Okay. I'm doing homework, probably. You don't take your shoes off? I said the first thing you do. Yeah, take my shoes off.

Then what? You walk through your kitchen. Okay, walk through my house, sit down, do my homework. You walk through your house to where? To my computer. To your computer. Which is at a desk. You sit down.

What kind of chair? Just a regular. See how in-depth I like to get on this story? Your standard computer. Take me there. Like just a, whatever. Acer monitor. What do you got? Dell. aces 144 hertz 144 hertz okay um vg what what you run an hdmi no it's a dvi dvi

oh he's getting this you have a dual monitor setup i do have a dual monitor he's watching youtube he's watching youtube and doing home we're gonna say he's getting high. Do you have a dual monitor set up? I do have a dual monitor. He's watching YouTube and doing homework at the same time. He's cranking 90s while he's cranking his hog. Homework's here. Shit. YouTube's over there. Watching a podcast or listening to a podcast or something. You're listening to the grass that he's podcasting.

What's your favorite podcast? Okay, ooh. Right now? What's your favorite podcast? Probably Are You Garbage. You ever heard of that? You talked about that earlier. Yeah, no. I don? What's your favorite podcast? Probably Are You Garbage. You ever heard of that? You talked about that earlier. Yeah, no, it's a...

I don't remember what you said. Well, it's a podcast, which is great. So it's comedians talking about how you grew up. Who is the host? It's Nick Foley and Kevin Ryan. Nick Foley, that sounds familiar. That does sound familiar. Look up Are You Garbage and see if you... But it's two guys who... Nick Nolte? No, Nick Foley. That sounds familiar. That does sound familiar. Look up RU Garbage and see if you...

But it's two guys who... Nick Nolte. No, Nick Foley. I'm just kidding. I knew none of that name. Nick Foles? Nope. But it's a pug...

It reminds me a lot of... It brings up childhood memories, which I love. Nick Foley? Nick. That's a wrestler. Nicholas. And it's like... It would be stupid shit.

Like, do you wash a... So if you get a nice big cup from McDonald's, are you washing that and putting it into your cup set? But it would be shit. You know how easy it is to get

a signature Nebraska cup at a game? No, but what they're saying, it's shit like that. Like, have you ever smoked a cigarette with your uncle? Or like, just random shit. It's just like random, like comedic shit. That's funny

but funny and relatable. Right. And then you either... H. Foley. Yeah. Kevin, or uh, no. It's Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Nick H. Foley. Okay. Well, he goes by H. Foley. That. Kevin. Or. No. It's Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Nick H. Foley. Okay. Well, he goes by H. Foley.

It's his community name. We got two very separate interests. Because I listen to like. You know, like the Sean Ryan show. I love Sean Ryan. Who's a Navy SEAL. Saving Sean Ryan. you know what I mean like I'm listening to like Sean Ryan who's like got other Navy SEALs and like green berets on and they're

talking about their war experience to me like you love the idea of having just the hardiest, rock-steady mindset that you could physically muster. See, I love that shit, though. You do. I do. You love. Because, I mean, if you listen to Navy SEALs for entertainment, those guys are all about mindset. Because even last night before I went to bed, to calm me down to go to bed, I don't know if you heard of this YouTube channel, but it's called The Meat Eater. He's a dude who just goes out and goes hunting.

He stalks. Last night, I watched him in Nevada. He was hunting mule deer. I watched him. He went through a three-day thing and didn't hunt nothing, but I was locked in like, is he going to get this fucking deer? This is sick.

Imagine. Kill something. I don't know. like is he gonna get this fucking deer this is sick like imagine like kill something there's this weird i don't know like i don't even i'm sure like your psychological mindset could be like what has zane wired this way but like i would love to be a navy seal or a green beret well i mean on the last episode you talked about um you love proving to yourself if you can do something. I don't know if I'd want to be a Navy SEAL. But you want to see if you can do it. But I would love to be like...

You love pushing yourself. I would love to go to Bud's. Can you pass Bud's and be like, that was good. I would love to... You get to day five and you're like, that was good. I would love to. You get to day five and you're like, honestly, I found my limit. Thanks for the experience. But even then, if I made it through it, the way my mind kind of works is like, all right, you guys going to send me on mission?

Can I do it? Who do I got to kill? Could I do it? We need you to take out Osama. You're just like, ah, the greatest test of them all. Can I do it? Who do I got to kill? Could I do it? We need you to take out Osama. You're just like, ah, the greatest test of them all. Can I do it? But like, it's weird, but. It doesn't matter what it is. You like seeing if you can do it.

Because like, even if like, I'd love. Can I eat this burrito in less than five minutes? No. Can I do it? It doesn't matter if it's that or murdering someone. You know what I mean? Can I do it? Can I eat the, like, let's say i ate that burrito in five minutes and 15 seconds you didn't you know what you know but like then then it's like oh shit i didn't do it but i but

now you have a goal right but can i do it can i do it i'm gonna make myself do it it's just weird like that's just the way that my brain works that's why i love using my brain i don't know about you but you love using your oh fuck off but like no i'm retarded it's but it's almost like it's like i believe we were just listening to a clip today where you're like i haven't had a thought in the last five holes that was mowing t-bar or mowing i'm just fucking with you but i hate i love and hate it because not everyone has this guy's mindset but i'm a different breed because i love and hate it because let's say i'm mowing let's let's take something just like not challenging at all

let's say i'm eating a burrito but like yes okay yeah even less challenging but even okay maybe it's a little bit more challenging than that but like let's say let's say I'm mowing, like, Craig's like, Something not serious. You know, like, 7 o'clock in the morning, Craig goes, Hey, Zane, you're mowing tee boxes. I'm like, okay, lunch is at 11. Okay, I have 18 tee boxes. I have 18 holes.

I'm going to do nine of them. I want to do 10. So, say I'm mowing with Gavin. I'm like, all right. Do you see if you can beat the other team mower? It's fucking weird. It is weird. It is weird. I'm like, alright, I'm mowing with Gavin.

If I mow... Let's split the holes in half. It's 9. But if I mow a little bit faster than him and I mow 10, it's not a competition, but I'll get done and get to lunch and I'll be like, I mowed 10 tee boxes. If you find a way to be slightly more efficient. But it's not a competition but like i'll get i'll get done and get the lunch i'll be like i'm a 10 t-bar if you find i'm a 10 holes today slightly more efficient but it's like it's not like it's it's verbal anybody knows it but it's like a competition within myself i'm like it's

satisfying i'll sit down i'll eat lunch i'm like i did nine teas i did nine holes today i thought that was a good morning that's joint. But even like when we were raising teas with. Or the root. The root of life is satisfaction. Right, yeah. However you get it. You're trying to find something that makes you go, I feel good. Fucking hate, Bubba.

I feel good. I can go to sleep feeling good. Because it's a good thing. Because like let's. I'll even use the example of like let's say I'm raising tea heads. And I'm with nolan like say he's doing two heads on one side of the green and i'm doing two heads over there like so let's all right we raised them and i'll look at them i'm like i did a pretty good job and like i just walk over there better and i'll see his i'm like fuck he did a

better job than like his his look better me and like i will get a sense of dissatisfaction like fuck i didn't do a good enough job so the next one so i'm like i'm like all right better than his i'm gonna do a bet like i need to lock in right here but it's not like that it's not like i'm he doesn't know this it's a competition within myself i'm like i need to do better i'm not doing a good enough job is there a fuck you mentality it's not that you're not doing a good enough job but within myself i i could you know i'll go back and look and be like you know that that sod could be a quarter inch higher and it'll look better and it's like it's it sounds weird but like this is shit that's going on within my head oh yeah and it's it's it's like self-torture but if i do do a good enough job, I'm like, fuck yeah.

You hold yourself at a very high standard. And it's like, fuck. And then let's say if mine does look better, I'm like, fuck yeah. Where's the next head? Let's fucking go. Fucking pussy. I want to keep going. You get mad at him.

I'm like, I'm like. And this is like, it's like, it's like, fuck yeah. You have a secret competition with someone that they don't know about. And it's going on. It's just, it's just like my life. Do we all have the same brain? Probably. I think it's, I think it's just like my life we all have the same brain probably i think this i think it's just like is this called the ocd stripe and t-boxes yeah or like even like it's just the ocd anxiety when you flip your teemo around and you see it a little zigzag and you're

like fuck no i wasn't locked in on that i was thinking of um like you know what i mean though yeah i wasn't locked no i do that on a that on a 13 to 14 at Wilderness, because everybody does the... The team owners do both those approaches, which are longer sections of things. I'm like, if my approach is better than the other guy's approach, I'm like, stupid motherfucker. I'm better. You can't do this shit. You can't do it like me. I'm only doing 13 approach.

I'm fucking... I know how to drive a straight line, you dumb piece... Yeah, I get... I legit... Even when you're doing 13, you're like, I'm only doing 13 approach I'm fucking I know how to drive a straight line You dumb piece Yeah I get I literally But you drive And even when you're doing 13 You're like I'm gonna drive a little bit slower

I'm gonna make sure This shit's fucking straight I've I've done 14 I fucking love you guys Drove out And been like I didn't check that out

I'll drive back Yeah You I've done it I've drove You're like Wait a minute Or like the sun's hitting

And you're like You can't see your line You're like I didn't look at that good enough You're like Hold it let me drive around And you just look at've driven You're like Wait a minute You're like The sun's hitting And you're like You can't see your line You're like Hold up I didn't look at that good enough You're like Hold up Let me drive around

And you just look at it And you're like Fuck it I'm gonna do it again I can go faster than that So For people who don't So the approach on like

14 Do you ever take a picture of it And send it to like One person No but I'm not saying that to everyone But like But I'll save it in my memory

So I can go back And I'll look at it And be like Dude I did that I did that to Hold i did that i did that hold not physically but it's like kind of like almost stroking your ego no you are you're almost like yeah i did a good job that was spencer the first time i walk mode you did what was spencer green or the first time i walked about greens at happy hollow I striped this like long ass green, like every stripe was just lasers.

And I sent him, I was like, dude, look at this. You're not on my level. And he was like, you're not on my level. Damn.

Like, no, then he gave me like the, like more than just a, Oh no, it was like a day. I was like, you fucking,

if you've got a damn out of Spencer, you must've been doing something. All I was doing, it was beautiful. I wish I had, I changed my phone. i don't have the picture but if i had the picture isn't that weird how we're all kind of wired the same but differently yeah we all we all are very i'll say this we are all very passionate towards life we all you know because i'm like some people some people are just like i don't care or at least i don't care about anything or at least we care we all have a drive right desire for something even if we have this it's just like satisfying your own mind like i don't love working on a golf course but when you you tell me I got to mow T-boxes, you're damn straight.

I'm going to make those look as good as I fucking can. Yep. And it's not like I wake up in the morning. I'm like, fuck yeah, it's Monday. I got to mow T-boxes. It's like I get there and I'm like, hey, Zane, you're mowing T-boxes. I'm like, all right. Well, fuck.

You're damn right. I'm going to mow those fucking T-boxes. This is a callback to the beginning. There's two ways you can look at it you could be like this sucks i don't want to do this i don't want to be here i'm counting the seconds until lunch or you can go i'm gonna i got four hours i'm gonna make this shit look good yeah right but i'm gonna throw on a nice podcast or audiobook might not be reading but I'm getting some knowledge Just use my brain

And I'm going to take a little pride in it And make a game out of it And self soothe You turn life into a game Because I've also half assed A lot of Half assed a lot of projects And then you get done and it pisses you off

I'm mad but I'm like, that took me, what, five minutes shorter? Like if I, I would have just cared a little. I could have done the same thing. It took a little longer and it would have looked great.

In 10 minutes. And you, you get done and you look at it and you're like, you know what? Instead of doing this in five minutes, I could have done it in 10 minutes and I would have turned around in the same moment, looked at it and been like, fuck yeah. I've done that. But instead I'm like, why didn't I take in five minutes, I could have done it in ten minutes, and I would have turned around in the same moment, looked at it, and been like, fuck yeah. But instead I'm like, why didn't I take another five minutes?

I've done that with raising heads where I'll come back to it the next day, the fucking sod sunk, and I'm like, fuck. You know, if you would have just threw a couple more clumps of dirt in there. Yeah. It would have looked great, but you wanted to be done. Then you're disappointed in yourself. Yeah, it's horse shit Sorry to number two on the right side

Shit Number nine Fucking bunker side on the west side On the upper west side West side green on nine I could have done better Shout out Broads I don't know about you guys

And I don't know about you guys And I don't know about you guys You're sick of us talking? No no no We've been going for two and a half hours Strong We could do four We could do five Hell we might fuck around and do eight

Let's do mushrooms I don't know about you guys But life is a game And it's time to play the game it's time to play the game oh but it's time to play the game thank you guys all for that and thank you guys for watching liking subscribing listening on what's up and fuck you ethan yeah ethan we're gonna post again and we're gonna post again in the fucking future and you know what we love you we love your hate but fuck you we're gonna post on saturday yeah

and the next day yeah and the next day and the next day and the next day. Yeah. And the next day. You can't. And the next day. And the next day. I'm just kidding. Fuck you! I won't post that frequently because we only got so many episodes, but if you haven't tuned into those episodes, listen to them. Go back. You sure can on YouTube if you subscribe to the Grass

Daddy's podcast. If you go and you don't want to watch us in our ugly mugs sitting here with our bulletproof vests drinking our beers and talking over each other when did you then when did you take it off when i went to go piss i didn't even know yeah i just i didn't even notice if you just want to listen to us uh if you finish your audiobook and you retained all the knowledge you physically could and you want to listen to something a little bit brainless while you're striping up a tea box or maybe maybe you're unclogging a fucking shitter or you're just doing some excel bullshit you can do so on spotify and apple podcast and what you will do after that

is promptly head over to tiktok and come to our aid on some of these haters yeah in the comments tell ethan to go fuck I literally don't know what in the fuck they're talking about. What the fuck is your problem? But what I'm talking about is you gotta find whatever it takes in life to give you that edge.

Let's get connected here. Because like I said before, life's a game and it's time to play the game. Find whatever it is that gives you the drive to get going in the morning. Whether you're brushing your teeth before or after you drink your coffee. We love you. Thank you guys all for watching until next time. Shout out.

Love you. Is that really two and a half hours two hours 31 minutes holy shit we were just going I'm drunk now that was a great idea that was a great idea by the way

the random what do you guys how do you guys feel about that episode That was a great idea, by the way. The random... What do you guys... How do you guys feel about that episode, eh? Wish we had more beer. Wish we had more beer. Wish we had more beer and we had plenty of more conversation. We could go all night.

What did he say? King of the...