Grass Daddies Podcast - Episode 66: Fold or Wad?

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

In the dickty dickth episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, we pick up where we left off last week with Kam, Bailey, Lena, and Jake. Kam talks about an awkward massage experience he had on his and Bailey's honeymoon, the group discusses their differing wiping techniques and wrap up the episode talking about some of their favorite movies across varying genres. Lena's Podcast: Does the Cat Die? - On Spotify and Apple Podcast Bailey's Hair Styling Instagram: blended.bybailey SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham @lnelson4 @baileywellmann Tik Tok: @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

Juggernaut on Urban Dictionary is, um, someone being obsessed with big tits. Well, that is Cam. Have you guys been seeing any ghost videos, like, around Halloween? welcome to the lincoln bruto with extra cream podcast i'm jake i'm jake and i'm a grass daddy fuck i keep fucking it up i'm so used to you you've left me in the trenches for so long that you've made my brain switch over back from my mountain bear hunting trip it was a fucking adventure i'm jake this is cam and we are the grass daddies and this is a part two episode kinda well it's gonna be its own episode but we're recording a twofer on the same day so the mini fridge has already been opened up so we're just gonna bowl right through that but we have our girlfriends

with us i mean we can throw a beer in there just to say it was in there lena and bailey i'm sorry one of them is a wife actually my girlfriend lena and cam's wife bailey are joining us on this episode because cam and bailey are in town for new year's um we told you guys all about it in the last episode if you're just now listening to this one you want to hear about what happened to artists on new year's and just go back to the last episode and listen to that and then then leave a comment about what your resolution i don't know i don't even remember what we talked about it's been so long already i just tried to tune it all out exactly but there was a couple

things i hope because this is going to be a week later i hope they're just like what the fuck is the honeymoon story because we talked about cam was like honeymoon don't let me forget and then we never talked about it so one week later if you've been anticipating the honeymoon whatever the fuck you're talking about we've also apparently got a toilet paper prop here that's also going to be involved somehow i have no idea girls are over there having the chuckle fucks but what do you want to do first i'll tell the honeymoon okay so please do with our package or whatever we got for our honeymoon, we got two massages. So where'd you go?

What happened? So we were in Cancun, Mexico. There we go. And the second day I got real larried up. The rest of the week wasn't that bad. What happened the first day? Dropped the ball or what? Travel pretty much.

When did that ever stop you? Got food. We spent like $28 on a plane for two drinks. Bailey got wine in a can. It was champagne. Canned wine. Champagne in a can. It was really good actually.

And then I asked for orange juice and I had a little mimosa. They brought a tiny, tiny little boxed wine with a tiny little bag in it. Yeah, so she got a can of champagne, and I got a Nickelode Ultra, and it was $28. Oh, man. Yeah. So 14 apiece, or were they? You also got Pringles. Pring they you also got pringles pringles i got pringles pringles are the greatest fucking airport snack ever but anyways so we got there did all that we've met a lovely couple down there that just was on their honeymoon as well so we were down at like the pool and you know

we were talking about this you uh when you get in a hot tub you're drinking you don't realize you're fucked up till you get out oh yeah well in mexico where it's that hot it's this opposite effect but you're in a pool well it's the same effect but you're in a pool. Well, it's the same effect but you're in a pool. And then you get out into the hot air and you're just flat on your ass. Because it's just like cooking all the water out of you and you're just getting... I don't know. Alcohol's hitting you harder.

Hammered drunk. And Bailey was trying to get me to do this. I'm hammered drunk. She was trying to get me to do this flow ride a deal. And it's like where they have the waves come up and you get on like a little boogie board oh like one of the fake wave things yeah whatever your bra come off have you ever seen those where like they biff it and then it fucking that's all i watched and they it's like i know exactly what you're talking about i know one of

those i judge areolas for a living did your trunks wink no i didn't actually get oh you didn't do it i went through the whole uh signing paper shit a waiver a waiver you have to do a waiver yeah if i get hurt then i'm not gonna sue them and uh then i went up there and some kid was just sitting there in the wave deal for like ever. And I was staying there and I was drunk. I was ready to go back to the room. And so I just said, fuck it. And I left. I never got on it.

Bailey still wants me to get on it. I'm like, I would have broken my fucking neck or something. That's what she was counting on. I was so drunk. I could know because nothing was in her name. So she couldn't get any life insurance or anything in it. Dude, that would be such a sick true crime podcast if you took out a life insurance policy on him and then made him go on one of those things and he fucking ripped his fucking vertebrae out and then he just... I don't think that'd be very sick. It'd make for a good podcast is what he's saying.

I'm just joking. There is a story where... I'll cry a little bit if Cam died. A guy took his wife. They went on their honeymoon and they went scuba diving. And he tampered with her shit and she died. I feel like I've heard that before. Like he yoinked one of her oxygen tubes out or something.

That shit's crazy. He just has like a little packet of blood and he's just squirting it for the sharks to come eat her he's like i can't go i'm on my period no no no he's like no we can definitely um anyways so we got these massages right and uh i was so confused they don't hardly speak any english so why aren't you guys speaking english they're pretty much just like and everything sounds optional right so they give you like this robe and they give you these weird ass slippers sock for your pp no no um so i'm like sitting in there and i'm like okay i'm ready like right now i'm ready i don't need the robe or anything like that on and he's like put the robe on and then put your slippers on we'll take you back and the pool i wanted to go in the pool but bailey said no swimsuits we're not bringing

our swimsuits we don't need to go in the pool they had a hot pool and they had a cold pool and i wanted to go swimming in it and hang out in there but anyways so bailey before we left i sent her on a mission to go shopping for me so she went shopping and she got me these cool shorts that have the underwear, like compression shorts already built into them. For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to wear that to the massage. And so she's like, well, just take everything off. And I'm like, like, does that mean like get butt ass naked? And she's like, well well cover yourself up with a blanket

after so i'm like she's like you can wear your underwear but you didn't have any underwear because it was a compression short no i didn't ask her she just said get completely undressed and so i'm like okay you said naked no you didn't ask no i take i love the story is going get completely undressed as like a sign right like get butt ass naked the word completely kind of signifies everything so i would just i would have done the resolution thing just wearing my underwear but i didn't have underwear the old compression shorts got you. So what'd you do? So I just left my shorts on.

Okay. And got the most, the massage was nice. Besides when she like got up to my neck, she was just like ramming my face in the pillow. Into the donut? Easy does it. Into the donut? But yeah, it was good. It was pretty awesome.

Normally don't they go like, tell me when to ease off and they go hard? No. She didn't give a fuck. She didn't even ask what you were okay with? She was doing whatever. She was just taking out anger on you? And then she kind of like pulled my shorts down so it was like half cocked over my ass cheeks, but not really. So she could get access to your lower back. Where are you going, bro?

Like, no, no, no, no. Have you ever had a professional massage before? No. Okay. I doubt she's a professional. They're probably just good at... It would be illegal

if she wasn't. You have to be licensed to be in a suit. They are. You just look back and you're like, you're getting paid for this, right? She's like, yeah, by you.

I thought about looking up and be like, where's the happy ending? You just go, i flip over and you just have a huge boner they just have a little hole in the fucking yeah you feel someone's tugging at you from the bottom this fucking seems like something off the old hub anyway i don't know what you're talking about anyways so we did that and uh we almost got caught by hurricane weather down there. The day we left, it was supposed to hit. We spent $83 at a restaurant in the airport for, I got a beer that was like,

about that tall and about yay big around. It was huge. Like a 32-ouncer? I don't know. Either way. It was huge. It made Bailey's head look like a little pea. That's a weird way to describe it. It was so big it made Bailey's head look small.

It digs. That's how I held it up. I was like, oh. But I was also like four feet away from her. It's about the same size as your face I was like four feet away from her though So it looked like an oil barrel Yeah

And what did you get? Some fancy drink Her fancy drink was $23 But I got to keep the cup It was still worth the cup Was it a cup or a glass? A glass. Like those beer glasses.

A flute? No, not a flute. I don't know what that's called. Will you unplug the mini fridge? Don't worry, it's not going to kill it or anything. The mini fridge will still work. It's just, I don't want to have it kicking on and off kill it or anything. The mini fridge will still work. It's just I don't want to have it

kicking on and off while we're recording because we don't have anything in there because we already got our offering for the episodes. And it's about that for the honeymoon. What else happened? Did you guys go golfing? Yeah, we went golfing.

It was too hot to finish our round. Oh, my gosh. I was dying. Because the one time you went to Cancun, you got really sick. Mm-hmm. And you couldn't even finish the round. Oh, we went on an ATV excursion where we got to ride ATVs through trails. And don't let Bailey drive.

Why? Because her hands can't reach the fucking brakes. Oh, shit. So she's just full throttle mashed and we're coming into like a 90 degree turn. She has to like fully reach off and pull. She's just like taking the corners like this. And I'm sitting on the back like, whoa. Just my ass is sliding everywhere.

I'm like, oh, my God. You don't even have your hands around your wife? These trails were like muddy. Like windy. ass is sliding everywhere i'm like oh my god you don't even have your hands around your wife these trails they don't let you oh muddy like windy so like every curve was just like straight muddy water just digging in yeah and i was the greatest driver ever it was more fun when you piss excellent i didn't like yeah i'm the best there ever was you're on fire ricky bobby do you know what i realized sitting here listening to you because fun when he was driving. I didn't like driving. I'm the best there ever was. You're on fire, Ricky Bobby. Do you know what I realized sitting here listening to you? Because, spoiler alert, I don't listen

to your podcast. You don't listen to mine, so it's fair. You guys really just talk and a lot of things don't mean anything. What do you mean? What did you just say? You're on fire, Rickyicky bobby well it's an inside quote from what a movie that we both know and most people probably also know so you're the

one that's not in the loop that's just one example i'm the best there ever was and ever will be i'll wake up in the morning and piss excellence hey we're the ones doing the interview, not you. I think I can help with the whole pan. Hello, miss lady. Bailey, what was your favorite part of your honeymoon? And I'll mute Cam's mic for the next part. We went in a cenote. What's that? Just like a private swimming hole.

It's just deep. And the water is like cool bailey tell us about it yeah tell us pull the mic over talk about your honeymoon tell us your favorite part at gunpoint to go on a zipline oh but it ended up being your favorite part no oh okay you can talk about what you hated the most too no. I don't know what my favorite part was. Just doing whatever we wanted. Just spending time with my new husband. They had a day at the pool where they had this inflatable obstacle course. Ooh.

It was pretty funny. Cam said he's going to see how fast he could go through it. And totally ate it. Wiped out. Time me. Fell off the side, and i couldn't get back up it was so fun and you know when everything is free you since you already paid for it and you now have access to it yeah but it's weird you know

like i pay for food i'm like man i'm not that hungry i'm not gonna finish it there like there was like a weird thing that i was like well it was free and people just get like shit tons of food and take like one bite of it and just leave the rest yeah this circles back to our conversation earlier yeah i tried to only like we we there was a lot of like restaurant options and for breakfast, not as many. So we would always mostly go to this buffet thing. And I would just take what I wanted to eat and then eat it. I'm not one to really branch out and try new things. I was trying new shit looking right.

I feel like I didn't waste that much. Did you get some calamari? No, I cannot eat that. Really? No, I don't want no tentacles going down my guzzer okay but um oh the cenote had like the little fish you know that you go to spas and they eat your feet yeah i can't your feet they eat the flesh yeah yeah yeah and uh that shit was weird man and then we ate food all the way out in the middle of nowhere i thought i was gonna die we literally went in the middle of nowhere to this deal

was there some cartel action going on no i wasn't getting scalped or anything i would have fit right in just like sketch i would have been like hey you know what we can be friends okay this asshole has had nothing in it it's tight i'll ram whatever as long as you let me live have you guys seen that video of the um like the two it's like a gay couple it's these two guys and they're in their car and they pull up and that's just yes the cartel guys just are just come up to their car and are just aiming AKs at them. And they're both just like, fuck you, please. We're lost. I swear to God, don't kill us.

I have seen that. And it's actually kind of nice because the cartel guys are like, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Like, they're reassuring them. Like, don't worry. We're not going to blow your head off. You're just not supposed to be here.

No, it's just a YouTube video. Like a dash cam footage situation. Oh, I gotta watch this. I've never seen this. Don't worry, we're not gonna fucking kill you both. They're like, please, we're just lost. I discovered a pretty cool video the other day. It's war to master of puppets.

So they show like actual war clips. Like warfare clips? Yeah. With Metallica playing over it? Yeah. And so they cut drones. It's so cool, dude. They cut to Blackhawks, the infrared videos.

Master. It's pretty cool. Master. Yeah. Master. And it's just someone's head getting blown apart. There was one, there was like 50 Taliban there and they just dropped a huge bomb and you see them just like walking

and then all of a sudden the camera goes dark because the missile just hit them. Sounds so cool. It is kind of cool. The song just goes, man. That song is cool to anything. But that's really all I had about that. You could show a compilation of Peppa Pig.

Honeymoon. And if you put Master of Puppets over it, it'd be hype. Yeah. It made me think of it. You didn't know about the USS Indianapolis until I told you, right? Or did you? No. I don't know if i knew the explicit we're not editing that out by the way that's staying in all right you're cut off you're done

so can i just explain it just a little bit by all means okay so uss indianapolis was taking like bomb parts that they had already dropped them off but it was during world war ii and they a japanese submarine like uh torpedoed yeah torpedoed them so the ship sunk and so there was like 800 crewmen that were just like stranded in the ocean for five days and sharks would just come up and like pick them off as they're all just floating in the water that's wild i gotta look this up now didn't get a very good reaction out of them did you i'm intrigued it's like some um i think the thing that was most intriguing to me was they were talking about the guys, even if they didn't get picked off by sharks, there was exposed bone from their toes showing

just because of the salinity of the water just eating away at their skin from being in the water for so long. And they'd grab their arm and try to pull them up on it, and their skin would just flake off. I gotta look it up though there's a documentary on amazon prime it was an okay documentary but was it free yeah i love free things me too so there's some toilet paper on the table here um yes you guys what what's the explanation behind we need to know okay this came up from watching the Dude Perfect video while you guys were at the gas station.

Get that out of the way. Okay. So. Looks like about four squares. Yes. So say. Four squares of TP. You just did your business.

Way more. You just. Well. I didn't want to waste your toilet paper. So. You just ripped it off the roll. Mm-hmm. What do you do with it before you wipe it?

Wad. So. You're a wad wiper? I don't foldiper i don't fold we're all gonna go around and demonstrate i would rip it off fold it fold it okay and then you've got a nice like eight ply pad yes okay lena to clean the cooch let me move out of the camera well now girls wipe when they pee yeah that's so this is like every time that looks good to me okay so okay cam if you feel like this so i could practice okay let's see here i'm currently winding the toilet paper onto Cam's fingers because I have to have a true feel of this. I go...

Yeah, I'm a water. Oh, my gosh. I'm a water, 100% water. I used to be a water. I don't fold. Are you a folder? I, uh, so, first off... You want the...

Okay, so I just pull it off. Groop. Yep. And then I fold. Fold the wads. White. Fold. That's pretty smart.

That is smart. I cannot reuse toilet paper like that. Well, I get enough that I can fold the wad on itself. Oh, God. Yeah, same. Well, see, I've... Don't gaslight me on my own podcast. No, no, no.

I've had so many endless wipers lately. If I didn't use the same square twice, I'd go through a fucking roll wiping my ass one time. So you wipe, and then if you have to wipe again, you wipe, and then if you have to wipe again, you... I get more. You get more? Yeah.

Okay. Would you quit headbutting that stand? Since we're on this talk... Typically, I usually don't use more than, like, four squares. You get more? Yeah. Okay. Would you quit headbutting that stand? Since we're on this talk. Typically, I usually don't use more than like four squares, to be honest. Okay. I'm going to make a new resolution. Can we go a full year without talking about poop? Yeah.

No. I know. It won't happen. I won't do it. I won't do it. This is how we should. I love shit talking. We should all try to do the old trick.

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You go like this. You go like this. And then you poke a hole in the middle. No, you rip off a corner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to rip off the corner.

You rip off your corner like that. And then you go like this. And you ram it up your sphincter. And you go like this. And then you take the toilet paper yep and you go clean your finger off and then you take the corner you take the corner throw that in the toilet and then you get under your fingernail you use the little corner to get under the nail yeah i've never done where did you come up with this i don't know i've seen it on the internet

i've never done it i never will do it that's what I've seen. It's kind of genius. Okay, another question really quick. Do you wipe sitting down or standing up? Sitting. I'm a sitter. I'm a stander all day. I have a question about this because I've heard about other people that stand when they wipe. Do you stand with your knees bent a little bit so your cheeks are a little bit open?

Or do you stand straight up and like shove your hand in between your butt cheeks good question lena um i like kick one leg out like this and kickstand it you go one up on the toilet seat yeah but do you actually no wait so you bend your knees a little bit no i just like want like i don't know like kind of shift to the side a little bit so i can get my arm around and then see that's what i do while i'm sitting why don't know, like kind of shift to the side a little bit so I can get my arm around and then... See, that's what I do while I'm sitting. Why don't you just sit? Yeah. Like this. Like you just lean.

I'm restricted, like, you know what I mean? Like this. And I'm scared I'm going to go... And then go right up my back and just smear shit everywhere. God. All right, all right. But don't you guys hate when you're wiping your ass and your finger pokes through? Oh, my God.

This is why I don't crumple. This is why I fold it. But he folds. So you do it for the structural integrity of. Because I don't want that on my hands. Okay. Okay. But I get enough where I can crumple it, use it a couple times, and my fingers aren't going

to poke through. Maybe it's because I don't use very much i don't okay but i mean correct me if i'm wrong but when i'm wiping i'm using like my hand i'm not like why would your finger ever poke through i do the flat palm pretty much how would a finger ever poke through you mean like like fall off the side and you get a little bit on the edge no like i'm saying like right once you go across the butthole area you just whoop whoop i don't know what a whoop means okay but you do a flat palm yeah but then like i'm doing a flat palm but then i'm kind of like my fingers like that and sometimes they just right i don't know what a whoop means they just poke right through the toilet paper

I think that's if you don't have enough right I go through a lot of toilet paper what kind of ply are we talking here we're talking two ply like great value but it's like the Charmin dupe

okay not bad I also got a bone to pick great value but it's like the Charmin dupe. You see but I like it. Not bad. I also got a bone to pick with schools man. You go in there and wipe your ass with school toilet paper. It's like wiping your ass with 2000 grit sandpaper. The higher the grit the smoother it is.

Yeah I know. It's smooth but it's still a little rough. It's like 120. It's also like Chuck Norris. That's what they should just name it, Chuck Norris toilet paper, because Chuck Norris don't take shit off of anybody. And you can sit there and wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe and wipe, but guess what?

You still have shit streaks in your underwear. This just in. Cam has shit streaks in his underwear. This just in. Cam has shit streaks in his underwear. Oh, 100%. The good thing is, hey, guess what? I haven't pooped my pants

yet this year. And if anything doesn't deserve a round of applause, that I think does. I made it 12 hours without shitting myself. Anyways, alright. Is your resolution this year going to be to try to shit

yourself less? No, I'm shitting my pants as much as possible. You know what? You should make a resolution to take more fiber supplements. I agree. Or get a colonoscopy. Dude, no. Just try Metamucil.

Okay. Just try it. I think you can get it in pills i just want one of those one that comes out like a fucking brick you know what i mean that's what metamucil will do it it makes it super fibrous it doesn't it's not it doesn't make it a ball it just gets it all out gets it moving it it cleans you out It makes your poops just normal. It's not a laxative. It doesn't make you poop. It just cleans you out. It goes in there and just collects everything.

It collects everything and brings it together. And then, like, this is how I always describe it. Okay? Here's your butthole. Here's your colon. Jake's making a diamond. Here's your colon with poop in it. And you go to poop.

And you go, and it kind of squeezes some poop out. And then it's still kind of like this. There's colon with poop in it and you go to poop and you go and it kind of squeezes some poop out and then it's still kind of like this there's still some poop in there see that little opening at the bottom that's your sharpie tip you're you're worried about i don't know how to describe this that's your sharpie tip you're going through a whole roll but now here's your colon full of poop with metamucil here it. And it just squeezes it all out. Ghost wipes, dude? I'm telling you, ghost wipe city. It's just about the best thing in the world.

I would die for a ghost wipe right now. If you go to wipe and there's nothing on that toilet paper but lint, oh, that's just the best. You have lint in your ass crack. Yeah? What? Yeah, I mean, your underwear is made of fabric and it's sitting up in your asshole all day bailey always makes fun of me is gonna get in there like anytime i blow my nose do you

guys look at it some if i'm sick to see if it's still green to see if i'm still sick to inspect it well i always do that because i want to know if something's going on if i'm sick and i'll blow my nose and check it because if it's like real bright green that means you're know if something's going on if i'm sick and i'll blow my nose and check it because if it's like real bright green that means you're sick if it's clear then you're not sick um well does anybody do that with toilet paper do you take a gander at your shit well you have to know if you need to keep wiping yeah yeah that's all i'm saying you don't look at it no how do you know when to stop wiping i gotta stop looking at you i just feel i don't look at it? No. How do you know when to stop wiping? I gotta stop looking at you. I just feel.

I don't know. Feel what? I just know. You just know? Yeah. All right. What, do you have Ruger checked for you? How do you know when to stop wiping?

You gotta look. Because I am a get more person, right? So if the second one- Are your shits so regular, you're like three wipes of four folded things, and I'm good? No. You're not that regular? No. No.

You can just feel. I don't know. I kind of get what you're saying. See, but then when do you stop wiping? Do you stop wiping after, like, the toilet paper's, like... When it starts feeling really resistant, like there's... Completely clean? You... Or do you leave a little extra on there?

Clean? What kind of answer is that? Or question is that? Hey, asshole hairs, man. They get in the way. I need to fucking buy some hair, bro. Have you ever shaved your asshole? No.

Really? No. Me neither. That's why. All you got to do is squat in the shower, spread the cheeks, get a razor up there. So I'm not going to have my mom listen to this episode. I'm just kidding. Even if I ask her to.

So, man, we're already halfway done and we've just been talking about poop and wiping the whole time yeah no the honeymoon but that was a fun demonstration the hole that's what i'm talking about man i hate when you get little shit on your finger then you got to go fucking i don't know if i've ever gotten shit on my finger hey cam still it's pretty clear but I don't know if I've ever gotten shit on my finger. Hey, Cam. Still. It's pretty clear, but... Mine was black the other day.

Black? Yeah. From cutting clay tile. It's like you were sniffing at a bunch of dirt. Who's fucking with their thing? Me. Okay. I was going like this.

It's like terracotta, and it was getting in my nose from'm cutting it and it's just black sometimes that is kind of satisfying like if we're like chopping up plugs or something and you get dust in your nose and you just get some wicked bugs but they're nice and dry and crusty and you can like pull them out okay so i was actually just gonna bring this up we're all nose pickers here right bailey strikes me someone who never picks her nose ever because it's gross conversation with yeah she picks her boogers we need to normalize talking about poop and normalize picking your fucking nose no shit like you're gonna ask me if i eat it no no no no no no who like why yeah why isn't shit talk normal like i want to walk in see some guy come out of a stall and i'd be like gross yo bro how was it you know okay but i think shit talk is

more normalized than like picking your nose talk dude i just i pick shooting is necessary but picking your nose isn't necessarily necessary but let's be honest you can't shove a kleenex up there and get it as clean as you just can with your finger. Right. Right. Some of the ones that are dry and stuck in there holding onto a nose hair for dear life, you can't blow that out of there.

You got to go in there and extract it. Now we're talking about nose picking. I feel like I got a bunch of shit in my nose. Yeah, I definitely pick my nose. And I really don't give a shit a guy i work with uh hates snot but the weird thing is if you blow your nose you're like hey dude look he'll fucking puke but you like the other day when we were out hunting i just farmers blew and he's just fine with it.

Well, that's different. I had a runny nose because it was cold as shit out, and I had a little bit in my mustache, and he was like, and I'm like, but then I turn around, I go, and he's like, no, that ain't that bad. I'm like. It's the same shit. Yeah.

Can we talk about how satisfying it is, though, when you do get, like, one of the dry ones? Sure. That's just massive. Do you want me to stop talking about gross scenes? It's not gross to me. Okay. I agree. What do you want to talk...

I agree. Just how satisfying it is when you get, like, a dry boogie out. Well, yeah, especially if it's, like, blocking your airway so are you guys like instant relief uh you know like pluck a big boog and if it's like real big like right home about you guys like yo check this out no i'm not necessarily showing it off i'm just strictly business you just got to get it out of there and get it rid of it is it weird to have pictures of your poop on your phone for who are they for just myself like i i thought i've really thought about one day creating an album you know and just saving the monster shits because i have some like triple wrappers like they'll so you didn't do you stand up and take a picture of it before you wipe so the toilet paper is not in the way?

No, I leave the toilet paper in there. Then you can't see it. Well, I got to get a little clean. I understand that you guys have a very, I mean, you guys are obviously experts on this and you have it down to a system. But I feel like it's weird. However, only if they're just normal shits if it's worth taking a picture of yes yeah then i wouldn't think it's weird no i'm not gonna take a trip or or if it's a breacher so big it's coming up out of the water yeah

dude i had a juggernaut the other day what is that a juggernaut's where you shit and it just like disappears down the hole and you're like look in the toilet you're like i know something why is it called a juggernaut i don't know there's look it up look up different names for poop juggernaut shit yeah different names for poop i think i just call that like a mystery shit or like i also want like i felt to come out but it's not in there i also want to just drop an upper decker one day no yeah where would you do that at obviously not in your own place your house no fuck no this would be the last podcast we ever record man it smelled like shit in here are you are you looking it up yeah it just says like doo-doo turd crap no look up juggernaut shit no like look up

different names for different types of turds it's on there you've got your i promise you've got your green machine you've got your specter you've got your overwatch you've got your you've got your how you're going you got your whiskey santa claus you've got your what is it called there's a stool chart yeah what did you say it was called juggernaut juggernaut the Juggernaut. The juggernaut. Drops to the bottom of the turlet. But. The different kinds are called Marbles, Caterpillar, Hot Dog, Snake, Amoebas, Soft Serve, and Jackson Pollock. Jackson Pollock? I've had a couple of those.

What's a Jackson Pollock? Diarrhea. Who the fuck is Jackson Pollock? A splatter artist. Yeah. Painter. Oh. I had a couple of those. What's a Jackson Pollock? Diarrhea. Splatter. Who the fuck is Jackson Pollock? A splatter artist. Yeah. Painter. Oh. I had a couple of those when I was sick, dude.

Dude, there's somebody at work. I was peeing out of my butt. I don't know who it is. Peeing. Has like. Peeing out of my butt. Diarrhea. I was peeing out of my butt.

I get that. That's where I'm leading. It was like water. I think you came up with that. Out of my butt. Well, fine. Maybe I came up with it. If not, it's still cool. I was that. Out of my butt. Well, fine. Maybe I came up with it. If not, it's so cool.

I was peeing out of my butt. Literally nothing on me. Okay. Well, anyways, there's some guy at work that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Juggernaut on Urban Dictionary is someone being obsessed with big tits. Well, that is Cam. Have you guys been seeing any ghost videos

like around Halloween? You guys seen Oppenheimer? I've seen a lot of ghost videos. Like on TikTok? Tell me a couple. No, on Instagram, you know, where they stick the big googly eyes there and then they have the sheet over with it cut out and they're just. No, I haven't seen that. But I'll tell you what.

On TikTok, my algorithm, I've gotten a few of those creepy videos where it's like, what are they called? Echo mirrors or I don't know where like it's a couple in bed and then the guy's asleep next to her and then she hears her husband's voice coming from the other room saying like hey hey come in here they do have a name but i don't know first of all i don't know if that could be it or not but no i've seen i don't know things like that happen but what are they called echoes no or mirrors dude that should some of those tiktok videos are fucking creepy dude i i love going down like the creepy rabbit holes like i like to be scared sometimes you know i mean i think we've already talked about this before well we've had episodes where we talk about like spooky things that happen i like to be uncomfortable no i seriously live by the way of once you get

comfortable in life be a little bit on edge once you get comfortable in life that's when you bad shit happens if you're just comfortable like oh yeah look nothing's gonna happen to me that's when the tiger pounces out of the bushes and eats you. I'm going to stay as uncomfortable as possible. Stay alert. Expect the worst at all times. I think they're just called mimics. Mimics. Fuck.

Can you imagine? Like, you just hear Lena. Jake, come here. But she's sitting right next to you. I'd be like, nope, fuck. I'm out. Later. Deuces.

See ya. Have a nice year. Sometimes when I'm playing Xbox, like, I would hear a sound, and I'm like, was that coming through my head? Like, is Lena calling me? Which, it could just be any sound, but like, that would be, our house would be

a nightmare zone for that kind of shit. Because we've got a bunch of, like, the old narrow hallway down here with like the wood paneling and there's like six seven different rooms down here if you started hearing stuff coming from this basement oh my god be like merchant don't go down there you want to hear a creepy dream i had yeah i had a dream the other night that i was sleeping i don't want to hear and i woke up in my dream and i was looking at the ceiling and like a person started like coming out of the ceiling but like they weren't coming

out of the ceiling the ceiling was like stretching with them oh and so it's like their body like and then the drywall or whatever was like stretching with them like freddy that one freddy where he's like stretching through the wall where it looks like paper yeah or like plastic yeah like rubber latex yeah but were you like half awake like no sleep paralysis wasn't no i just had that in my like but it was weird because it felt i don't know it could have been like a sleep paralysis like type thing well sleep paralysis you're physically awake awake but mentally you're still kind of dreaming so you're like can look around the room but you're like frozen because your body's still asleep yeah i i don't know it's because it was weird because like i woke up in my dream looking at the ceiling and then i woke up in real life like once i was like oh fuck that's a nightmare you know and i woke myself up and i was looking at the ceiling

so who knows i don't know trace was just telling me two episodes ago that he's been having these like dream loops where he'll be he's like i worked like a full day and then woke up and none of it actually happened and then he'll like get up and then he'll like wake up again. Oh yeah. I definitely like seven. He was like one time it happened seven times in one night. And I was like, Oh my God,

that sounds fucking horrible. No shit. Yeah. Fuck that. But, um, I love those videos. I think it was,

um, I think it was like a Fox or something, some animal in the woods. And it was like, this isn't supposed to be racist. It was a black cop. And he was like, had his flashlight and he's like shining it into the tree line. Cause he was like trying to investigate something. Like maybe call someone called something in and he's standing there. And all of a sudden he just hear just like a loud scream.

And he just like turns around and walks away. Like, he's like, fuck that. I'm not going in there and all of a sudden you just hear just like a loud scream and he just like turns around he's like fuck that i'm not going in there so and it could have been like a jack like a mountain lion scream or something like that yeah dude you know someone probably heard something and was like some bitch is getting murdered in the woods right now and he's like they're like fuck it charles you want to go check that out and he's like not really goes out there just kind of just from the edge of the woods trying to slash slide in here's that and just nope's out of there i was watching i was watching a video of these guys they were in this abandoned building and these kids were going out there well they got and you had to climb down, like, a ladder,

and it went down, like, a tunnel. Well, the guys fucked with them, and they knew the building, so they went in the back way, and they had the Aztec death whistle. Oh, yeah, I seen that. And they blew it. They were watching the guys coming in. Yeah, and they just, like, hung out in this abandoned building, and then they blew the Aztec death whistle,

and it was, like, if i ever heard that like walking around at night or something i'm fucking out i don't give a shit what's in my way just a whistle noise or what is it look it up on your phone yeah it's two guys exploring and they're like up and they see two other guys coming to explore and they're like we're gonna fuck with these guys and they like get it and they wait those guys you've never seen two guys climb a ladder so fast in your life is that it yeah you like blow through it and it's like the way it's designed one i would just that's just like a basic mp3. Look up like

real life. Abandoned building. It's probably a short. It might be like a real. Oh, it's gotta be. Aztec death whistle. I don't think it's that one. I'm not trying to watch the whole prank video. Well, yeah.

What's happening? Can you describe it? He's just holding up the aztec death wasn't it some dude can you put it so i can see them well it's not that but that's what it sounds like they all make different noises too but they just look like a little skull like a little black skull it's probably made of just like or like ceramic or something crow head or stuff like that yeah like that shit fucking creepy i kind of wish we had more like abandoned buildings here because i would totally go explore oh 100 but the thing about it is the most dangerous thing you could run into is just another person doing nefarious things. Like if they're a drug person or like a demonic, you know. Yeah. Not very good things are happening in these places.

I want to go do like Sam and Colby shit. Like go to haunted places and just stay. Like I'd go stay at the stanley 100 like staying at a like legitimately known haunted place yeah queen mary i'd go stay there and fuck around find out i don't know fuck around and find out i don't know if that's what you want to do but well like everybody says like they want proof well Well, I believe in it, but I'm like But you just want to experience it first hand. I want to experience it to be able

to be like, yeah, it's fucking real. I don't know. What's the level you would have to experience to believe it's real? Well, he believes it's real. No, I know, but like what's the level you would want? You know what I mean? To like have that satiated. Your proof. All the way see an

apparition or just hear a sound well i don't know if i seen it i'd be like my eyes are just playing tricks on me like i'm i don't know that's why a lot of encounters are like nothing can be 100 valid nothing ever even if it's on video someone could be like that video camera's messed up see but like i trust sam and colby but like at the end it's like okay they could be doing it for views you know like well yeah they're youtubers with how many videos yeah you think they've if they have 600 videos i think they have 600 encounters probably not but well they just go to the different places with like the music boxes and stuff i would like their asylum videos are fucking awesome well yeah even if nothing happened it would be cool

and creepy just to explore abandoned buildings so you don't like it because live life uncomfortable i'm gonna put that on the shirt but hey you can't be the shit unless you're in it hey but but your definition of why you like to be uncomfortable doesn't make sense if you're intentionally putting yourself in a dangerous place. No, I'm not putting myself. I'm saying driving and doing your everyday shit. Sometimes I'll just drive with my eyes closed because I just... No.

I'm just kidding. I'm saying don't get comfortable. Relax in your seat and then act like everything's fine because then that's when something bad is going to happen. Be uncomfortable. I don't know. I think you need to talk to a therapist.

I'm just going to stay... I feel better when I'm a little bit distressed. It's kind of like ignorance is bliss. Like being ignorant and then you don't have to worry about it. Well, ignorance is bliss is... I'm going to lay back in my seat

because I don't know if something bad is going to happen to me. I just don't want to think about it until it does and then, oh, I didn't know. I don't know. All I know is I want to see ghosts. Okay. Even the ones that are on Instagram reels. We'll go to a cemetery.

If I was walking somewhere and I seen one of those ghosts, I'd be perfectly fine too. You'd be like, I'm good. Because what is the extent of your experience? You saw a picture. What was it? We talked about it. That one Halloween, I think. We talked about spooky stories.

You said you came home and the picture frame fell. I wasn't home. My mom was home. And she asked if I came home and the picture frame fell. I wasn't home. My mom was home. And she asked if I came home. And the picture fell down the wall perfectly. And I've heard our shower curtain open in the middle of the night. No. I don't know who's in there.

See, we'd probably just think it was one of the cats. That's what I'm saying. There's so many other variables that could be going on to well but if you didn't have animals what else could it be sleepwalking dude uh another guy i was working with was telling me that his kid was sleepwalking the other night and i'm like that would be creepy and he like was in the kitchen and his son just walked right past him went out into the couch and grabbed the tv remote and just like clicked it on and my friend that i work with was like what are you doing he goes i'm just making sure the tv's off and then he clicked

it off again and walked back to his room oh my god that's fucking creepy as shit that gives me the ebjbs that's what i'm saying i, if we ever have a kid that sleepwalks, and I'm going to take my middle-of-the-night piss, and he's right around the corner, I'm dropping that little motherfucker. I'm cocking it back right between the eyes. Cam is tired of walking around a corner. I'm tired of seeing dicks around the corner.

No, I'm saying If I go to piss and he's standing outside My room No I'm going to be fully clothed I'm saying on the way I slept walk bad as a kid Really? I went out and my parents saw I was gone

But I had one of the Green turtle sandboxes And I walked out there in the middle of the night and climbed underneath and like picked up the lid. And went to sleep in there and put the lid back down. Jesus. And they couldn't find me. In a sandbox? Yeah.

They're like, finally, he's gone. That's where he found his love for sand bunkers. Hey. And I slept on the like trampoline. And my brothers and sisters sisters they would fuck with me because they had like the app on uh the computer uh photo booth you know how you could do like the black and white deal yeah well they would take pictures of me sleepwalking in black and white yeah oh my god that's so creepy. So you look like a ghost?

Yeah. And they would fuck with me all the time. And that's why I had nightmares all the time as a kid. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. Exactly. Have you ever sleptwalk? I remember one time. I don't know if you could call it sleepwalking, but I like barely remember doing it.

So what happened was I woke up in the middle of the night and I went upstairs. This was when I was at my parents' house and I filled up a cup of water and I was going back down to bed and I was pouring a little bit of water on each step as I went down and then I woke up in the morning and I'm like why did I like I kind of vaguely remember doing it but I didn't know why I did it but I like only remember like a little window of it and then I looked and there was a cup of water right there on the nightstand. So I was like, shit, I did do that last night. I don't know why I did that. Like I was like sleepwalking, but slightly, partly remember it.

Kind of like when Cam blacks out. Yeah. Sleepwalking, you're like, we did go to Brothers. Yeah. Sleepwalking actually scares the shit out of me. Because like, you know, people do fucked up shit in their dreams like their own dreams they do fucked up shit or like think of fucked up shit well if i'm already sleepwalking and my dream is telling me like oh yeah look you're just dreaming jump off the saw horse and then you're using power tools and you think you're dreaming of

just like walking down the stairs and walking out to a ledge and jumping off but i'm actually doing that like i'm actually walking around my grandparents knew a girl who slept walked and one time she just got up walked out the front door just walked across the street went and knocked on the neighbor's door which like is so dangerous because if there's like cars coming down the street you know what i mean But if your body is coherent enough to move you around, I feel like if like a car was coming by, you would probably have an instinct like stop and wait for it to go by. Yeah, maybe. You know, because if your brain is an autopilot, it does have basic survival instincts probably. It probably can avoid dangerous things. you just like wake up in the soldier in afghanistan and you slept walked that would be dangerous yeah you're just like out in

the middle of a fucking war just walk out into a minefield well uh like can you imagine though somebody knocking on your door at like four in the fucking morning and they're just standing there like they're like britney what are you doing you're like you have any butter once again it's 2 a.m sorry but once again i'm opening that door and i'm just right between the eyes just cold cocking them here's your stick of butter stick this up your face stick this in your cookie she's making cookies she needs butter you guys should watch that she needs two eggs baby reindeer have you watched it oh it's good oh yeah it's kind of fucked up shit though oh are you gonna describe it at all? No, why would I ruin it? Okay, fine. Baby reindeer. It's on Netflix.

Let's guess what it's about. Baby reindeer. I already know what it's about. It's about a little deer with a red nose. And he was getting made fun of by all those other motherfucking reindeer that were mean to his little ass. Exactly it. But, lo and behold, one night it was super hazy. All right, let me see where you're going. And this big motherfucker with a white beard.

He's like, I got some good shit. I got to go deliver to all these other little motherfuckers. I'm going to need your ass up in front so I can see. You heard? You were going to say something. You know what it's about. It's what you were saying. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, you guys watch Saltberg, right? you know what it's about is what you were saying oh yeah yeah oh you guys watch Salt Burn right that's a good movie he told me about it well you already knew about it but he was telling me about it he's like dude it is fucking weird it is fucking weird

but it's kind of a good movie besides at the very end when he fucks the dirt mound I'm like dude come, come on, bro. You're down that bad? Your hand wasn't even enough anymore? Come on, bro. Did you ever watch it?

Yeah, we watched it. What did you think of the bathtub scene? It's pretty awesome, huh? Kind of made me thirsty. You can actually order a shot. A salt burn shot? Yeah.'s like bailey's or something i don't know what's in it but yeah i've definitely seen it somewhere and uh bailey has been making me mad lately she uh uh this is why i miss having cam on the pod just

being able to spontaneously make me laugh she doesn doesn't ever want to watch As Love So Blow. What the fuck are you doing? She won't ever watch As Love So Blow in the... You've seen it, though, right? You won't watch it? Yeah. Why don't you want to watch it? Oh, yeah.

Oh. Too much for me. You've seen it. Yeah, we watched it together. It makes her scared. You want to watch it again? She doesn't want to watch it because it makes her scared. Dude, I just watched it.

Have you seen The Descent? And Cam likes feeling uncomfortable. And Midsommar. Don't like watching that either. Not really. Remember when Bailey's like, I'm not really well-versed in a lot of horror movies. And we're like, well, let's line up the craziest three we can think of. As about Solo, Midsommar, and Hereditary.

Hereditary. Hereditary. But what was the other one where they're out in the woods? Oh, The Ritual? Yeah, The Ritual. I don't like that one. I remember when we were watching a bunch of Halloween movies, like horror movies. I can watch that one now, but like the original time I was watching it. You guys were like watching one a day or something.

That's when we would come over, like every day after work, because Cam is annoying. I'm just kidding. No, I'm just saying. No personal space. Hey, no. You can say you're mad at Cam. No, I'm not.

Do you want to air your grievances? I need to. Can you hear us, by the way, when we talk into this over here? Barely. I don't know how well it's going to translate. I know, but I just feel like I can't hear. I can hear you good. Okay. Do I need to get close? No. I mean, it would be a translate i know but i just feel like i can't hear i can yourself okay okay do i

need to get close no i mean it'd be a better quality but it's okay anyways you guys know what you're getting at this point we're fucking 60s this will be i think dicky dick episode i want to find the scariest movies and just watch them uh bailey thought i was a psychopath the other night because when I did start watching As Above So Low, I just turned it on while I was falling asleep and I was just watching As Above So Low. Now that's kind of psychotic behavior. Why would you fall asleep

to a horrifying movie? I've fallen asleep to a true crime podcast before but I feel like that's different. That also seems like psychotic behavior. He slowly slashed above her clavicle. I think if you like As Above So Below, you need to watch The Descent. The Descent.

They're not even similar at all, though. I mean, a little bit. Actually, a little bit. What's your favorite slasher film? Slasher? It's hard to say because there's so many but you know you can't go wrong with some of the friday the 13th movies i would say so the big three michael myers jason and freddie we've watched all of those in our own little series michael's my favorite the og oldest halloween 1978 is pretty good and the new 2018 one is

really good everything else is kind of shitty not gonna lie Jason some of the older ones are real real dry not a whole the acting is not very good but just the the classic factor and he's got a lot of crazy fun kills freddy um he brought a lot better acting a lot of the other side characters had really good actors um but none of his kills were like realistic they're a lot more fantastical kills because the whole he kills you in your dreams. So, I don't know. There's a lot of slasher movies. Basically, the ones that have fun kills are the ones I like. What's the movie called with the clown?

Terrifier. Terrifier. The black and white clown? Have you guys watched the newest one? Uh-uh. I've heard it's the scariest or goriest out of the three though no here's what i'll say about slasher movies i don't really love them because a lot of times the plot is not as good because they're really relying on the gore right and i'm i like a good plot right they're kind of

copy and paste see like that's what i'm saying like the the true shit that more than what are you going after when you're saying what's your favorite slasher what are you going for like my favorite killer my favorite type of kills my favorite plot like what do you i don't know just like an overall like i feel like uh i really like like as above so below um hereditary was good like insidious but those are psychological horror yeah like i like those a lot more because then it makes you like in your head like actually get scared it's like a slasher it's like okay there's a jump scare you know like that was like an instant deal would you count the strangers as a slasher that's a home invasion but they're they're still i mean killing them with just hand weapons have you guys

ever seen the visit yes that's a good movie that is that's a good i don't think i've ever watched that one that's a fun one because it's like one of the wait when who would you have watched it with if you haven't seen it i watched it like a long time ago oh by myself that one's fun that's a fun one you should show him that one What's the new movie that's coming out? I feel like I did. Nosferatu? What? The vampire movie?

Nosferatu? I don't... Maybe. That's the one with the grandparents, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. There's a... Well, I'm trying to think of some new ones.

What's the one that we just watched recently with the basement deal? The basement deal? The huge lady in the basement. Oh. Barbarian. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That one was good.

She had her big old swinging, clacking tits running. Clacking. Just hobnobbing together. I don't know. I would recommend the Friday the 13th series. It's kind of a good mix of fun kills and the bad acting actually is kind of funny. There's quite a few of them. There's a lot of different twists and turns it makes.

The Halloween series gets a little frustrating because they have different directors. There's like three different storylines. The Friday the 13th is a pretty much the same storyline it's just jason is at this lake and you come to this lake and you get in fucking got well like he'll get you in fun entertaining ways and they're decently scary some jigsaw saw that's a gore fest Saw And Saw's got decent plot too What's the other one I'm thinking of

Saw The one where they're like Just Is that Saw No Describe it Where they're going And the guy

Is like traveling But he has like no money So they're staying in those Big ass rooms That like Sixt rooms that 16 people stay in. Like Hostel. Hostel. I haven't seen that. You've never seen Hostel? That's a good one.

Nope. I mean, there's a lot of scary movies I haven't seen, but I'm pretty... Hills Have Eyes? Yeah, I'm pretty versed in a lot of them, especially because of the dead meat. Listening to the podcast and watching Kill Counts, I hear about a lot of new scary movies I've never heard of. Like Basket Case. That's an old, no one would ever even know about that movie.

And it's kind of crazy. But... Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the first one? Oh, yeah. What's that one we watched about the play that actually happened in oh uh in beatrice yeah charlie charlie no i think i know what it's based about sounds familiar yeah but i can't remember what it's called uh the something the something like with the news yeah that's one of my favorite ones i didn't you describe that to

me but it's good weren't you telling me about that and describing it to me once yeah it's actually what happened it's actually a true story right it happened in beatrice because it's about have you guys ever watched unfriended um i've watched the second one not the original unfriended dark web but i don't think i've watched the first one the first one is crazy second one's pretty crazy too unfriendedended Dark Web. I've never seen that one. Dark Web. You should watch that one. Is it... Or Truth or Dare. That's a good one.

I've seen that. The Roommate. The Roommate is really good. The Gallows. The Gallows is what it's called. The Gallows. The Gallows. That's the song that's in it.

But that one's really good. It's kind of creepy creepy oh you that's why you said the gallows sorry no i thought you were talking about a different one and then i was like oh oh that's why he says the gallows i'm trying to think of another movie any like non-scary movies that have been good lately cam and i really liked watching the maze runner series and the divergent series i read the maze runner books but i only watched the first movie but i love dylan o'brien so what else have we okay she loves dylan o''Brien. You've heard it here first. I've been into watching like airplane movies. Catastrophes. Yeah. So like Carry On.

Have you watched Flight? Carry On was one. I don't think so. That's Carry On. Have you watched Flight? I don't think so. It's with Denzel Washington where he goes, I'm drunk now. No, I don't think so.

You should watch that one. I haven't seen it, but you should watch it. And then there was another one I watched and I can't remember what it's called, but it was good. I have no idea if it's good or not you should watch it yes it's got denzel it has to be good carry on oh there's one scene in there and if you guys watch it you'll have to call because it's so fake and it looks so dumb if i had to recommend any movie though the equalizer movies watch all three of them they're so good about oceans 11 well yeah 12 and 13 and 14 haven't we watched this together then

no oceans 11 12 13 and 8 which one did we start watching we never finished whatever every movie ever when we had tricked out jacks and it's like hateful eight yeah I took a picture of it on my phone of when we left off so we could go I don't know, every movie ever. When we had tricked out Jax. The Hateful Eight? Yeah. I took a picture of it on my phone of when we left off so we could go back and continue watching it. I looked over at Cam and he was bobbing for apples and I'm like, we'll finish this later. Do you have your phone? No. I don't know why I'm taking this off.

Well, I had to take it off. So you could hear her better even though she's talking directly into your ears through a mic. Well, she's too far away. She's like this. So I wasn't really picking it up through my earphones. You know what movies we've been re-watching lately? The Pirates of the Caribbean movies. And I'm just reminded about how good they are. I kind of forgot.

They were definitely ahead of their time. Yeah. That's definitely. I never got into that. That's okay. Good thing they're always still there for you to watch the first Transformer Megan Fox the first Transformer

is Megan Fox she made that movie stellar performance oh fuck MGK was a lucky man do we need to leave the room they broke up yeah I know he was a lucky man she's fucking crazy they had like blood their own blood in each other's rings yeah so they're crazy not just her

they're both crazy well but now but now mgk is all about jesus well i call bullshit on that because he cheated on her so well but now he painted his body all black because something to do with i don't know well we're coming up on an hour if you guys want to keep going we surely can but if we're just going to keep sitting here going oh you know what other movies good it's not what? Great podcast. We haven't talked to you guys forever. What's new? What's new? Not a whole lot. What's been going on?

I mean, aside from we've been sick since your wedding. Yeah. Well. Our lives are pretty boring. That was another thing I wanted to talk about. I want my, one of my other New Year's resolutions is I just want to be more of a dad. I don't have a kid, but I want to be more like a dad. That's what's new.

Surprise. No, no, no. We're not what you were doing. No, we're not expecting. I want to be more like a dad as in every weekend. I don't have to party. I don't have to party every weekend. I can.

He's going to be too busy grilling and building stuff in the garage. I'm so ready. That or just like, like you said, reading. Just, just calming down. I don't, you know, drinking every weekend is not good for your body. I don't. I'll say this. You don't necessarily have to work out and lift weights to improve your health no yeah there are other things you can do i got into coloring there you go i love coloring

for like two days wholesome hobbies and activities i'm gonna try to do more of that the moments where you like focus on one thing like get some good markers and like the big coloring pages so it doesn't take you five hours i bought lena a coloring book for christmas yeah uh what are you gonna say last thing to watch is the program you guys have to i just thought about that it's about the back in the 2000s there's a huge thing about like parents paying these people to come abduct their kid out of their house. And then they take them and put them in these schools. Yep. I know what you're talking about.

Oh, did you guys watch The Keepers? You should watch that. The documentary about the nuns. Oh, no. Trying to solve their... They're not nuns. They're the nuns' students. And the nun was murdered. And they're trying to solve their case. Their not nuns they're the nuns students that and the nun was murdered and they're

trying to their favorite teacher was murdered and it was like a huge cold case and they were trying to figure out because it was all just like swept under the rug by the catholic church and the students took it upon themselves to like but they're trying to investigate them the death they're little old ladies now trying to figure it out and it's so it's so good and they've just like wrangled hundreds of people to follow their like facebook page so it's like it's like don't fuck with cats i didn't ever watch that one you didn't oh it made me hate people yeah you have to watch it i don't know if I can Cam wants to re-watch it

I'm like no one time's good the only part that is bad with cats is the very beginning and then it's just a bunch of internet people that solve like murders trying to get it figured out doesn't that happen in the roommate where she puts a cat in the dryer

what the fuck I'm not watching that you got me fucked up I got a little boy and a little girl here where she puts a cat in the dryer. What the fuck? I'm not watching that. You got me fucked up. I got a little boy and a little girl here. He takes a bunch of kittens and puts them in a vacuum sealed bag. Shut the fuck up. I'm just kidding.

I don't want to hear about that though. Nothing's real new really. I'm so ready to get back to just a boring fucking life. That's what I'm saying. Sitting there playing video games all weekend or watching TV. I want to chill more. The other Sunday was the greatest Sunday I've had in a long time. We did nothing but watch docu-series and documentaries.

I went to the dollar store and I picked up five Tostinos personal pans. I ate them all that day and we did nothing but drink pop i got us some candy drink pop and we just hung out it's nice because now we don't have a wedding to plan yeah might i suggest if you ever get engaged or when you get engaged elope no we're gonna have a wedding just go to mexico and get married and then come back and have a reception where they do it all for you because yeah it's another reason i'm glad i'm a man or elope and have your ceremony just like privately and then come back and have a little backyard party actually planning for our wedding is going to be a fucking nightmare because she's

going to be constantly asking for my input and then I'm going to give it and then she's going to say no. Yep. I'm actually quite a bit of a control freak, so I think we do have to plan our own wedding. But I think we're going to be... We're a pretty good team when we... I love handle itches.

Okay. I'll help. I'm just kidding. No, it'll be good. It'll be a party. I probably will be calling you and being like... It will be a party of the century. I'll tell. I'm just kidding. No, it'll be good. It'll be a party. I probably will be calling you and being like... It will be a party of the century. I'll tell you that much for free.

It's... Like, this weekend, I did nothing but play video games for 12 hours straight. Both days. Welcome to Craft Daddy's ASMR. This is... Oh, you want the reverb? Welcome to Grass Daddy's ASMR. This is John Paul's house. Oh, you want the reverb? Did they just drive me?

Yeah. Holy shit, this game is deep. People who are easily grossed out are not going to be able to listen to this episode. Oh my god, look at all the stalactites up there. Holy shit. One of them's loose. Anyways, back to the podcast. Yeah, I just am so ready for a boring fucking life.

Oh, my God. Anytime we're not this year, anytime we had time off. You're looking for more time in your easy chair. On call. No, I just sold my recliner. Why? Are you getting a new one? I really didn't want it in the house.

No, we're going to get a big couch sectional couch. We got to get big. We got to get big. Yeah, with a love seat on it. A love seat sectional? Why do they call it a love seat? Is love supposed to be made on that? It's called a chase.

A love seat is a little couch. Oh, on that it's called a chase oh a love seat is a little couch oh well it's called a chase cam full canadian are you talking about the bed thing yeah like the lay down i'm so excited for one of those because we fight over our couch right now because there's we only have one table he's like i need to put my stuff on it and then I got to put my stuff on the coffee table. So anytime I want to drink, I got to go. It's annoying. I have to reach forward slightly and it fucking sucks. Yeah. I'm just going to get one of those long tubes and just have it in my giant straw. Super long straw.

But have you seen those like side tables that that go under the couch? Yeah. Like a C? Yeah, so you can put your little laptop on it. Yes, that would be so nice. I want one of those. You can go like this. Moves wherever you want.

You can edit your podcast on it. Is there nothing better than this? You can edit the 66th episode on it. I'm going to miss that. I miss just listening to podcasts. I don't do that. You should go back and listen to our episodes that you haven't been on.

Or all of them. I should, but... Then you have National Parks After Dark and all these other podcasts that are way better. Does the cat die? Does the cat die, yeah. I've never heard of that. That one's kind of mediocre.

Lena's talking about her podcast with her friend. How is that doing? Do you guys still do it every day or every week? Every day would be wild. We've never done it every week. Are you once a month? Kind of. It's just hard when you have six weddings and then holidays.

It's just... Because I can't just... We can't just like sit down and talk like you guys do. Right. We have to write a whole fucking story. Right. You've dedicated more time and put more effort into your podcast than just this ragtag. No, it's not what I'm saying. That's why there's 99 shooters.

Yeah. Okay. I'm just kidding. No, you put more effort into'm saying. That's why there's 99 shooters. Yeah. Okay. I'm just kidding. No, you put more effort into your pod. Yours is more. They don't have a choice, though. Their episodes have a plot. Right.

They write stories and bring them. That's like a once a month type of thing anyways. The only thing we. Once a week, you could come and talk about nothing. The plot was the reveal for Black Mini Fridge. The magic Black Mini Fridge. That's about the only scripted thing we've ever done on here. Pretty close.

Well. Script this. I was just talking about some of the clips I post of you. I'm like telling people, they're like, that's so funny. And I'm like, dude, you could not script that guy. And if I tried to script Cam, it wouldn't be as good as just him off the cuff just himself the shit he comes up with either no i just shot out of canon fuck mary kill barbara walters oprah and your wife yep but yeah nothing's been real new

so nothing's been new i don't know i think are we there i'm ready just uh yeah okay but thank you guys all for watching and tuning into yet another episode of the grass studies podcast with our special guests and co-host that isn't always co-hosting but i will that's my new year's resolution is to get a new mic so wink on that wank it beach uh spotify and apple podcast for audio only think about it subscribe on youtube comment like cam i'm glad you're here buddy i love you i like how i just we just were talking about getting out and being more active in the last episode and then this episode just be lazy fucks

well I'm excited though you gotta have a mix of both alright well we'll see you guys in the next one until next time stay on edge I gotta go I gotta go splunking so i won't be

back for a couple episodes cam's going on a trip to antarctica so we don't know when the next time he's gonna be on the podcast but in the spelunking in yeah he's gonna go spelunking in a glacier yeah in antarctica Like a fucking penguin. I'm just going to slide down on my belly. Until next time, stay uncomfortable.