Grass Daddies Podcast - Episode 74: Grassroots

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, KAM IS BACK!!! He and Jake discuss where he has been and some of his amazing feats of strength and endurance, leading them into a discussion of record setting masturbation numbers and defining what it means to be an alcoholic. Kam also describes his million dollar "build-a-dick" idea and gives his perspective of his bachelor party (from what he can remember). To wrap up the boys are treated to a suprise visit in the studio by a couple secret guests... SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @grassdaddiespodcast @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

But like... What defines somebody as an alcoholic? Hahahaha! We should look that up. It's a little dry down there. Okay, I got hemorrhoids. It's been a while. Do you want to do it? You want the honors, okay, I got hemorrhoids It's been a while you want to do it you want the honors no you got it That was a horrible welcome to the ain't his wife never mind it podcast

That's cam I'm Jake and we are The grass daddy Jake and we are the Grass Daddy. Yes. Cam, welcome back. It's so great to have you as a guest on your own podcast. I walked here. I still... We'll get into that. I still include in the description of every episode you're like tick-tock and

Instagram like And like when we have guests like I'll include their shit if they're on it like if Ben's on it Yeah, well, honestly, I don't even I think I asked Ben like do you want me to put any of your social needs like now? No, he's just like I don't he's already got too many followers He's just him so and trace doesn't even have Instagram really like whenever he's on I'm like traces I have an Instagram, but you can add him on Xbox. I was like message him on Facebook and send him memes, but so We got some debriefing we need to do because

you Went spelunking in Antarctica. Oh, yeah, just for recreation. Yeah, it was yeah I had a bad case of Vaginal bleeding and right so I went spelunking to cure it Oh, I thought it was I thought that was a result of the spunking. Oh you you did that as a as a treatment Yeah, and I also couldn't shit. So that's why I went there to go splunking because the water was just so cold It's like a squeegee, you know, you jump in and your whole body tights up just That makes a lot of sense. Mm-hmm. Scientifically that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, so then

You're like, well, let me see how more I can push my body Well you I mean and as a result of that you got hypothermia and you had to go into an iron lung. Yeah. Which is normally for polio, but it somehow is a dual treatment for hypothermia. Yeah. So that was a cakewalk. A lot of people don't come back from that, but you know, I'm here.

So did they have like, you know, at the dentist office when there's like a TV up above you and you can watch it Were you like watching movies and stuff? Yeah, I watched Forrest Gump on repeat You're like because you got a because they have to like close the hatch So you're like before you close the hatch toss in my PlayStation controller some lotion Yeah, like give me everything I need everything I need It's just really those two pretty much but it's pretty rough, you know, with the lotion and everything.

It gets kinda nasty in there, but I made it through. And then, yeah, I bought Forrest Gump before I went in. Right. And I still had Forrest Gump when I came out, so. Right, you had a thing going for Forrest Gump. But if you watched it and you did that thing where Yeah, I got the idea to. You watch a movie that everyone knows really well, and you're like have you ever seen this movie called?

The forest hump and everyone's like yeah, it's like one of the most legendary movies ever and you're like yeah I think I'm gonna do an ultra marathon now. Yeah, and so then I did that and I decided that I could not get malaria, so I decided to do the longest walk in the world and Made it through that and here. I am I actually swam across the ocean great white sharks don't have shit on me Yeah, cuz when you when you finished the walk yeah, I just swam to Australia Yeah, and then right and then from Australia I just swam over here and walked to where we are now and now I'm recording the podcast

So which I mean I got these nice clothes on the road some nice truck driver dropped them off to me Oh, yeah, you just literally yeah, I just arrived today. Just got here. My legs are really tired, but Chipotle fired me right back up right we got Chipotle before this Got stuff it was literally at least like over a half a million steps got four and a hammering take on a coon hounds ass Yeah I heard learn that one from you and I had a type time frame and That time frame was tiring a night's a stretcher. We're waiting there. We learned that one from you. So There you go, buddy

so and Well, really what you could have done was once you got to like Siberia You could have just swam the Bering Strait into Alaska But I mean going all the way down to Australia and then over Yeah, I just I figured I figured malaria. I couldn't get malaria that couldn't kill me So why not go to Australia where everything wants to kill you and they still couldn't kill me So I decided some of the great white sharks most people go swim with dolphinsphins, but I'm just better than everybody else. I went to my And what do you think it would take to kill you a great white

Yeah, yeah, that's unfortunate, so I actually played the lead role in unbroken and You were actually you were his stunt man yeah so you can't see cam's face in any of the action shots yeah because that's the way they do it when there's like intense action shots we're like we need you to jump on this real grenade yeah you know well again there was no actual war it was just in the it was in a fucking POW camp but yeah you know when he was whacking him with the stick and stuff that was that was cam yeah and you may be wondering well when that movie came out came would have been in like elementary

school right well he was big for his age so yeah and they they tried to get me to try out for the Olympics and I did not just not my thing. I'm too good for that So you're a runner now, but back then you weren't yeah No after all this walking. I really got in shape and Yeah, what's your next big feat you think you're gonna try to attack? Uh, I Don't know trying to conquer syphilis might be conquer syphilis I don't know trying to conquer syphilis might be a conquer syphilis Okay, that might be a good start. I don't know if that's possible, but

Should we look up? What are some amazing human feats? Yeah and see what you make of them I mean Lance Armstrong did an amazing fee, but didn't he cheat yeah? He's a fucking cheater, dude Yeah, he may have be to singular cancer blah blah blah, but I mean he took roid so I mean he's a fucking cheater so well Yeah, so what you did that's not good, so just shut up and own it So I have a list here pulled up But you said you haven't drank in two weeks. Mm-hmm. I mean you said like two days ago It'd been one week and today. It's two weeks well because I wasn't counting. I'm not weeks. I mean you said like two days ago had been one week and today It's two weeks. Well because I wasn't counting. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna be the douche

It's like a week and a half. Okay, so you were rounding tomorrow after tomorrow. It'll be a full entire two weeks after tomorrow It'll be okay. So okay, so technically two weeks, but I mean I'm rounding up. Okay But we're recording the pod. Yeah, that's fine. I don't care we can yeah. Yeah, we can we can hit the sauce I mean, I don't know what's in here, but uh, you know the drill. We don't know what's in here Fuck what was it? It could be fucking What were you gonna say? I don't know. Oh I was gonna say, you know, you always got a roundup Oh, I was gonna say, you know, you always got to round up

Guys for you out there You always got to round up if they ask how big your peepee is you always go at least half inch or more if it's Five you have to round up to ten. Yeah, yeah, it's four or less You can round down but because I have or more you round up see I always that's basic math All of these people tell me oh, it's cam telling a story so cut that in half No, if you aim really really high then it still seems like a cool story That's a good. That's a hey. I got a 14 inch pecker cut that in half Then it's only seven. Yeah, still pretty nice Okay, exactly

What's inside mmm exactly what's inside what do we got in there some some garage beer playing and banging around limes classic lime beer I've never had these to be brutally honest I know you've had the regular ones. Yeah, they're pretty good. You haven't had the lime ones? No, I never had lime. I tried. This my boy Ronnie Deutsch I think during sees all time but I think he's like part of the guy. Part of the like ownership. I don't know. I mean, I know the Kelsey Brothers are sponsored by him. I think it's the Kelsey Brothers and Ronnie Deutsch, I believe. I don't know. So let's crack these open.

I have tried these before, but I wasn't, I wasn't taking it in very well. So I'm going to consider this my first true taste test. So let's, let's give her, yeah. Salud. Hey, welcome back. Got to do a shmale, Tashford. I don't taste anything. I think I have the roneness. It tastes like the lime is very subtle. It tastes like... It's not quite like a Bud Light lime.

No. Bud Light lime, the lime comes through. But I might like this better, you know. So would this be considered a 5-6? Since the Bud Light lime is a five six mmm because it ain't pushing seven one no five points it take you seriously five points six I would God would go with this is like a five five four you know I wonder if we were to mix these with like grenadine. I don't know you got any grandine What Guys got a cool down there. I just so happen to have some grenadine and a couple glasses In the event that that is a sweet you never you never know when you need a grenadine to put in your beer. Oh yeah.

So I'm going to side pour this garage line right into this Bigfoot glass. You know our 5-6 to a 7-1 episode where we did this with... is our most viewed episode? Oh really? It's like 156 views. Thousand. No just like 150 something. Oh so I should probably throw these back in there and keep them cool huh? You can if you want. Whoa almost knocked my beer over but that's okay. So for those of you that don't know, if you take a Bud Light Lime, throw a splash of grenadine in there, it tastes like a fucking cherry lime made beer.

Now, I don't know how it's gonna taste with this because the lime is very subtle, but I... Did you guys just get this cup? So you take your lime beer. That's a lot of grenadine. Boy, little grenadine. That thing red like a dick on a dog. Little grenadine in there. That's about how much I poured I Don't really have anything to stir it with but should we yeah just

That she has turds in her ass So we yeah before the very word before this we were just watching two comedians that are very close to our level of comedic relief But as in they're almost at our level. Yeah, like they're yeah This is pretty fucking good It definitely makes it better Yeah, you should try this cuz it don't taste like beer Yeah, we're getting a no from the from the wife over there Bailey's sitting in former social media managers sitting in the studio. Yes once again

She got shit canned along with our tech manager is also sitting in there my girlfriend Lena. She also was supposed to Film my entire feet of walking all the way across the what peninsula is that I don't know but um But so yeah, but she fucked that up so she got fired from that and shipped home she got fired long before that she just keeps following me around it's like I have treats in my pocket or something okay I'm just kidding what was I gonna say I don't know you got me off. Oh, yeah. So last time you were here And we were able to record a podcast but our dumb broad girlfriends and wife wanted to be on the podcast with us

So we weren't able to do it on our own. We it was now the a team is back Oh, yeah, the way the podcast should be and cam and Jake are at the helm again, and we're not feeling rough I actually I Told Bailey that like I'm really gonna like not drink as much because I felt so much better Really? Yeah, like just from like not drinking like every day or like even like every weekend. No shit Yeah, your gut health feels a lot better it's almost as if not ingesting poison every day yeah makes you feel tops well like but I still have a pooping problem oh yeah what's your

problem I can't get you want to put that in there too unless it's like you can't get shit shit out. It's like max come maximum like half a roll of toilet paper before McLean Have a roll. Yeah, so you lied on your survey What do you mean? Well actually no your survey answer was like I think it was like seven or eight Sometimes I just get in the shower. That was your answer to how many yes Actually funny story poop poop talk. The other day, Bailey was home when I got home from lunch. And, I mean, yeah, I was at lunch and I go, man, I got shit. So I took a shit and Bailey's sitting there talking to me because she had to use the restroom and I told her

I'm like I'm just going to have to get in the shower so I took all my work clothes off, sat them on the bathroom floor, hopped in the shower, took a shower quick and then jumped back out and got my work clothes all because I couldn't get my asshole clean. He needed a full body bidet to get on with his day. And then like, don't you hate that when you go to wipe but you still have some dangling down there and it just whish. The Sharpie? Yeah.

No, but it's just more than a Sharpie. More than a Sharpie? It's like latex paint. It just spreads everywhere. Do you want to hear about some incredible human feats and see if whether or not they even hold up? Yeah. Hold a candle to. Is there even close to where I'm at? The mighty inferno that is Cam Worm. So they're gonna need to update this. The longest non-stop run 350 miles. I mean you absolutely obliterated that. Oh yeah.

So we're gonna need to get you in on that. Deepest free dive 830.8 feet. What do you think about that? That one's still got me. I haven't dove that far but then maybe that'll be the next one. You never know. But do you think you could do that? I have a serious question. No this one's like actually. So you know how water pressure, the deeper you dive, it gets heavier? What if you go way up in the mountains? The air is really light and you need oxygen because there's no air.

So you have to acclimate yourself to being up that high. No, but like not that high. Like I'm saying like in Colorado where the air is still lighter. Yeah. But would that, does that change the pressure of water? No Or does I don't think so

Well, cuz I guess everybody you're saying a body of the same weight. You're saying a body of water. That's further away from So can you jump higher of the earth? I think the gravity is pretty Relative like not relative like it's pretty consistent whether the gravity pulling down the water is the same. Yeah. So, if a body of water is at a higher altitude, the depth is still going to provide the same amount of pressure because it has to do with the amount of water that's above you pushing down on you.

So most- Well, I was wondering, because like if you dive, you know. Actually, actually, talking about the deep dive, I seen a video the other day of these people doing like super deep, they were diving super deep, and then they would come up and they'd like pass out Yeah, cuz they came up so fast Yeah, and they're like the the lady off of they sound like the lady off of cheats and chong when she snorts comment and said a cocaine and she's like

comment and said it cocaine and she's like I'm on you to watch that. Okay. Most consecutive push-ups 10,000 507. I mean that's Consecutive yeah, I mean come on. That's easy. Oh, yeah, but man that guy's an animal. It's like was he using I mean with one arm I could double. Yeah, so I mean that's I do pull up push-ups I pull myself halfway up and then I go like this My no pull-up push-ups you like just flip yourself upside down Okay, so you're in a push-up position hanging on a pull-up bar And you just pull yourself up with your entire body completely flat and you've got to have a level on your body And if the bubble moves at all and during this if they don't count doesn't show

Yeah, it's it's an extreme feat of it's in course right pretty intense When the Guinness rep comes the Guinness Book of you know when they come they have to watch people do this It gets pretty intense They're like no didn't get no bubbles off Yeah Well, you know, this is what? Oh

You know like we're looking up these amazing feats and I've had this question the other day at Work and I was asking a bunch of people at work What do you think the highest amount of times in a day somebody's jerked off No, like I'm sure for the for who's jerked off the most in a day. Yeah. Oh, let's look it up No before you look it up spit out a number. Oh cuz you know the number. No, I don't know the number. I've never looked it up. I was asking these people like I knew the answer. I bet it's I bet it's easily like, see I want to say it's like, oh, like 67. But then I'm like, I think you're talking about like, if you I feel like if you get up too high, you're talking about like If I feel like if you get up too high you're talking about seriously dehydrating yourself and like harming yourself

so I'm gonna say it's closer to like 30 To that's my guess I'm gonna say 50 50 Lena number. Are you looking it up? How many times? Somebody is jerked off in day. What's the maximum time somebody's wanked their jankson? No day The world we Jake said 33 I said 32 32 I'm at 50

Bailey I said 32. 32. I'm at 50. I'm going to go 47. Bailey? In a day? Yeah, one day. Because that's going to be my next feat. 22. 22. Quora, what is the world record of masturbating in one day? Response.

It is out of one's reach. 83 times in 24 hours by a Thailand boy why do they got to say boy makes it kind of why the fuck does he gotta be from Thailand well I mean that's probably just where they're from 83 I would recommend you not even try this because one more guy has died in attempt to overtake this record after ejaculating 42 times so don't follow the world record instead follow a healthy number and asked me in the healthy way to stay sexually healthy what's a healthy number for winking it like I said like extreme dehydration because if you're shooting fluid out of your body, you're depleting yourself of, you know,

your body takes energy to do that and takes energy to create. Anyways, 83 times in a day, what a fucking stud. That guy's got to fuck like a horse, man. Four times an hour maybe he was like at a sperm bank and he was just like I really need to make this rent payment I'm gonna be the highest don't know baby and he walked out of there and he's just like a shriveled up raisin and he's like I made twenty four thousand twenty four thousand dollars just fucking winking it dude on black market though just an absolute

Mountain of socks you can donate a testicle for like $250,000 I've loved the Jets not about doing it Okay, you you thought about donating one of your nuts yeah, seriously, oh yeah $250,000 I don't need two of them one does the same job, okay But then what happens if you get cancer in one of them and now you have none It's Armstrong that I need well, I need I'm gonna have to save that 250 and buy one back from someone else Yeah, paying forward. Yeah one ball at a time Exactly. You just get on the list and then everybody in the world be a one nut wonder

highest freefall 24 miles Again 24 miles Easy fucking light work right I walk that in like 30 minutes You're like I You walk 30 miles in 24 minutes No, I walked 24 miles in 30 minutes. Oh yeah that's okay. I mean you could you have a spacesuit. Yeah. So that's already check one. We just we'll borrow someone's plane we'll take you up there. I'll get my pilot license while we're at it. No 24 miles

that's like in space. Well that's why I said you need a spacesuit. Well what you have we how are we gonna get a plane up there a plane's gonna fucking disintegrate We need a goddamn rock it. We'll make a we'll make a big model rocket. Yeah strappy to the front of it Yeah, five-point harness. It'll be safe. It'll be regulated. Oh, yeah We'll have a bunch of scientists there, so it'll be cool. Yep. We'll pack your parachute nice and good Oh, dude talking about space. Did you hear about the astronauts that got stuck in space? No.

So there was astronauts that got stuck in space. And I was listening to this. And they just got back. And they were gone for like 60 days longer than they were supposed to be. And they don't get paid for it. What? Well, like how long is their like food ration for?

I don't know, they survived, but they got back and they only get paid for the amount of time that they were supposed to be there. That's bullshit. They get like a, the guy said they get like a pension. So it's only like, they do get paid, but it's not enough for like, it's like a quarter of what their pay was to go up.

That fucking sucks. Do you need the, you want the grenadine? I might go straight stick on this one. Okay. I do, I do think it makes it better though. I don't, I don't think they're bad but They're not like to die for you now What do you think about the original ones? I?

Like them Just because they're different, but it's just another beer. It's just another light beer, right? There's so many light beers in the world But it's cool have you ever had a land shark uh-uh, what is that? Okay? Well, we got to get you some land sharks Landshark is made by margaritaville. Okay, and It's like a crona with a lime But you don't have to put a lime in it like it's lime Corona, but it don't have lime in it It just right like lime beer

Yeah, it's not a lime beer. No, it's like a corona But it tastes like it has lime in it like it's like oh Okay, like you know when you take a crone and you put your lime in it and drink it That's exactly what a land shark tastes like that sounds pretty good. Are they are they here? Yeah Well, I don't know if you surely would be able to find them here. I find them in where I live so You you know lately a lot you've been saying hot take yeah, that's a hot take, but you've been set there It is you've been saying it in ways that it doesn't make sense You're basically just like I found something that I really like, hot take. I'm not like, no, that's not the way hot take works.

No, I just like saying it. Like, you're like PlayStation, like, see I was trying to say it wrong and it would have been right. If you were like PlayStation is better than Xbox, hot take. But that's not even really a hot take, because that's an argument a lot of people make. A hot take is like, I might get, this isn't what a lot of people think. This is kind of an argument that's like, I'm not gonna have a lot of people on my side.

Yeah. Oh, well. But you're like, McDonald's fries are so good. Fucking hot take. Yeah, you take them all. I got a hot take. Uh, well have more hot takes. Mm-hmm Tell me some of them. I don't know what What are some of cams hot takes? No that no, we're not doing that and that's not a hot take

It may be a cam hot take it It's just, I get like, not infatuated, but like I come up, I hear these things and I'm just like... I love your way of describing it. I just like, can't like, stop using it. So, I... You just get a vocabulary, like a set of words that you love. It's almost like Cam's vocab of the week. It's like, what is Cam like saying this week kind of thing? Like infatuated like that's definitely a word you heard saying something you're like I love this word

I've been saying something and Bailey what have I been saying? Every time you're like tell me you're like, oh my god, you won't believe what happened. I'm like I say something and it pisses you off doubt it prove it no Don't know Don't know I Don't know I'll think of it I'll try to think of it I'll have to try but uh I don't know. I'll think of it. I'll try to think of it. I'll have to try but uh

I Realized that I must have just like a really open brain Yeah, because I've been watching guys play like Rainbow six seeds like I've been getting into Rainbow six seeds Oh, yeah, well the one guy he's always like He has Tourette's I believe He's always like, he has Tourette's I believe. I don't know if that's a true fact. You have a way of just finding these characters, don't you? But, well, everybody knows him. It's Jinxy, you know who Jinxy is?

Oh, he actually has Tourette's. I think so. I believe he's actually diagnosed with Tourette's. Oh. And that's why he's always like. I thought he was just loud. No. Well, I don't think that's his tic.

I think his tic is like, blinking or like just sudden movements. Well, every time he like goes through like a door or something in the game He goes like this Like he ducks. Yeah, and I was watching him so much that like it got into my head So I was sitting there playing with my brother or like just in real life. I was like Like ducking around corners and stuff and so now watch this other guy he plays and it has like in a filter as a pineapple Like he just plays a pineapple. Oh, oh

Wait, what his name sir pineapple and he plays filter Yeah, so it's like, you know, like those like draggy like where and he has like a green screen but his Head is just like a pineapple and just kind of like floats around like a pineapple with a face or just a fucking pineapple here I'll just show you a picture of him. Yeah, pull it up. And the other feet pulled up here is longest boxing match is seven hours nineteen minutes how?

Yeah, I don't know if you're beating that one. That one's crazy. No. Yeah, there's no way So, um, this is him So it's a pineapple like on his face, yeah, like you can see like it like drags around So Saying all the time is like anytime he kills someone in the game and it's just like out of nowhere. He's like what's up? What that's so weird and so I don't know I walked in like I walk in places and people start talking me like what's up? Like they just fill my brain with knowledge, and it's just I'm not knowledge, but like we used to

Sorry Just I'm not knowledge but like we use Sorry Here aim it aim it. No, no, no. There you go. Cuz you keep moving it back and forth on your pop filter That's gonna be editing back a little right there. Okay, that's what I want you perfect Yeah, and so I don't know. I think I just have a very Influenced brain sure you like you when you watch a lot of things you pick up their habits Yeah, I've talked about this before like Oprah side. I thought of the deal What what what do you know? So anytime like because like oh my god this fucking happened, and I'm so not happy I'm like I would say hell of a deal hell of a deal hell of a deal yeah, like a like a

Like a basically different way of saying that sucks. Yeah, like a guy from work comes up He's like oh my god. This guy fucking pissed me off Mike hell of a deal You're like wow that's tough shit. Yeah Anyways, that's what I just that's like my other thing of a hot take lately is hell of a deal. That's your hot take Yeah, okay hell of a deal. That is a hell of a deal. So I have a little topic here We might we might talk about for a little bit and they talk about for a while I don't know but this kind of came into my head the other day So we all know the Alan Jackson song

It's five o'Clock Somewhere. Is that the song, the sole influence for why five became the standard for like when it's quote unquote acceptable to start drinking? Or was it before that? You know what I mean? Like when did five, because everyone just automatically knows like, if it's five or later, it's like, I'm not gonna be frowned upon by society for drinking right now. Anything before that is like, I might have a problem.

Or do you think it was maybe like back in the Western days when there were saloons and stuff. Like they weren't open until five? Yeah, because people had to get their like farming chores done or their cattle chores done that might be The most insightful intelligent thing I've ever that sounds like such a good We're gonna look it up. But that sounds I hope that's right because that sounded really good like, you know, like they get down doing their chores and Some guys like yeah, I bought this saloon, and I'm gonna go serve liquor after whatever I

Really hope that's what it is When did five become The time to drink. The phrase is five o'clock somewhere, or the idea of 5pm as a time to drink, lightly gained traction in the 20th century possibly inspired by the end of the traditional work day, nine to five. That makes a lot of sense, I don't know why I couldn't think of that. And the start of happy hour, although its exact origins are unknown. Here's a more detailed look.

But still, it could go back to that day. The end of the work day. Five o'clock somewhere, it's often associated with the end of the traditional 195 work day. Marketing the end of the day and the beginning of leisure time. Happy hour, the rise of happy hour, further cemented 5pm as a time to drink, with bars and restaurants offering discounted drinks and appetizers during this period. Unknown origins, while the phrase has regular use in modern vernaculars due to its association with the end of the workday, and Happy Hour, the origins of the phrase are unknown.

Drinking in Colonial America. In 1790, United States government figures showed that annual per capita alcohol consumption for everybody over 15 amounted to 34 gallons of beer and cider, 5 gallons of distilled spirits, and 1 gallon of wine. That doesn't say anything about a time of day, so I don't know why they put that on there. I wonder if they're staying on the drinking subject. Do you think they have a number of the average gallons of any kind of alcohol consumed in a day in the United States? Let's see, so what was it? The average amount of alcohol consumed in a day. How much alcohol is consumed in the U.S. per day?

Do you want to take a guess? Twenty thousand gallons. Actually, hold on. I only have a per year. Okay, per year? The average American, age 21 or older, consumed about 2.5 gallons of ethanol, the alcohol and wine, beer and spirits, per year in 2021, which is roughly equivalent to 535.5 standard drinks. A year?

We could figure that out. So like... 2.51 gallons divided by 365. Or we could translate that into... Oh oh that was a fucking fridge I'm like why'd my mic just shake like that yeah we could translate that into ounces and figure out the number of beers but yeah but that's really that's like that's really low though Take your phone out. Take your phone out. Take 128. Hang on, let me find my calculator.

128. Okay. Well, I guess because you wanted... Okay, that doesn't actually... I was figuring the average person per day but that doesn't give us the total because we can't just that's fine we can't take the number of the population of the US but like what defines somebody alcoholic we should look that up because there's a lot of people that are now calm oh how do you declare somebody as an alcoholic what defines someone as an

alcoholic being unable to limit the amount of alcohol you drink Oh fuck wanting to cut down on how much you drink or making unsuccessful attempts to do so spending a lot of time drinking getting alcohol or recovering from alcohol use feeling a strong craving or urge to drink alcohol uh-oh so there's like that's I feel like there's like... I feel like there's... A strong craving. Everybody has that one shitty day at work or multiple shitty days depending on where

you work that's like, holy fuck, somebody put a beer in my hand right now. Those are extremely broad terms. I mean, any person that likes drinking is going to have a craving to drink but if someone's like I need this to function or you know someone that's like I have to start my day you know I guess there's different classifications like there's some people that are like they're shaky until they like drink a cup of vodka and then the shakes go away that's like an extreme alcohol dependency. Yeah type of thing but True there's I mean I feel like When it comes to defining if someone's an alcoholic or not it really has to do with

Your ability to control yourself Yeah, if you can control yourself and go I'm gonna cut loose tonight and have a few I might be a skos Well Just to come here. Well, I mean but you said but you've given it up for two weeks You have the ability to just say I'm not gonna Turn an alcoholic doesn't have that capability. They need serious help to do so Like they have to

go seek help so if you're asking because you're worried that you're an alcoholic no I don't think you know I was just wondering because like you hear a lot of people that go home and have eight to you know it to six beer six to eight beers every night and it's like okay well in a lot of people's minds, that'd be an alcoholic, but they're just do that because that's what they're used to doing. I don't know. Right. Anyways, new topic.

Well, kind of not new topic, but kind of on the same. Yeah. Um, different category. There is something just so I Don't know empowering about a nice like two beer three beer buzz that starts to set in on you and I was Well, I'm not I was driving to the store Under related And I was thinking to myself, I definitely wasn't buzzed or anything,

but I was driving to the store and I was like, God, there is something about when that buzz hits you where you just feel invincible. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm like, I could fucking, I don't know, nothing can touch me right now. Dude, I-

It's like an unstoppable feeling that comes over you when you get that buzz? Yeah, sometimes honestly when I'm like Drinking or like I'll come home from work and I'll get in the shower and some good tunes come on, you know You know have that three beer buzz going or two beer buzz I'm like I Want to go fucking work out like I like a wave of confidence that was. Yeah.

Are you you know what I mean? Like I feel like I could like lift and I want to go lift. That's like there for a little bit when me and Bailey were actually going to work out. I'd mix my pre workout with I mean, you're you're working out. You were mixing your pre workout with beer. Yeah, I'd have a drink. My pre workout. I retract my previous statement.

You might be not going. Dude, no, they go like that's wild though. They do? Yeah. Pre-workout and beer? Yeah It's like crack cocaine. Pre-workout and beer. I shove a zen up my ass and I fucking... No, I quit that. That bullshit, but I did quit. So I'd be another one. But there's like you know like the phrase liquid courage for example it's like that is a very real thing. Yeah. Because something about when you're like when it loosened when you're loosened up you lose you know I'm not

talking about pegging but when you're loosened up. it just I don't know all right I'm gonna have to leave these out it's too big of a pain yeah that's fine in the box in and out that's fine I don't know I thought that would be a cool name like I was like that'd be a cool name for a podcast invincible when drunk but then I was like that's a little aggressive you're just insinuating yeah like not that this podcast isn't themed around drinking beer and whatnot but that's a little bit invincible when drunk exactly but maybe if I was to like you know write my country album that might be a

song on it just but you know what I mean? Anything can be a song nowadays. Trace has been like binge watching the episodes or binge listening to them and he'll be talking to me like we'll get on Xbox and he'll be like yeah I listened to the episode today where you and Cam were blah blah blah and he's like I listened to the episode today when you said you wrote a country song. You wrote part of a country song. And Cam was like, sing it for me. And I was like, and he thought like, that's the case.

He was like, just picturing you singing to Cam. I'm like, it's not like that. I was just- Sing it for me, baby. We were definitely invincible at that point in the podcast. Oh yeah. Nothing could touch us then. I was fucking singing about a fucking country song that you wrote called Welcome to the

Midwest, which I didn't actually write the whole song. I wrote like three lines of it in my head while I was mowing. Why you were mowing your yard. Like I feel like that's something you do on There's nothing going through my mind when I'm push mowing my yard. My yard is so fucking big I'm like just over it. Do you throw headphones in listen to podcast? No the last time I did it you're not much of a podcast listen to or I used to be but Now You're not much of a podcast listen to her I used to be but Now Like with what I do it's like some days fine

But I work with two or one guy every day so And I and I really don't like to run like any like when I'm running like a mini or skid steer And you want to be focused in because it's pretty fucking serious Yeah, like I don't like I'll have the radio on in one of them what station well most of them have Bluetooth so I just blew my phone to it, but I Don't know like I don't like listening to podcasts like that because when I was working at the golf course and I was mowing, fine, because I've done that for so long that it's just brainless now.

You can just get on a mower and I'm just like... From what you're saying, it sounds like music can be background noise for you, but when it's a podcast, the podcast can be distracting like I get locked into it Or because you're listening to the conversation. Yeah. Oh, but what really makes me mad is like Um, I'll listen to it and then I Will Like I'll be listening to it and then all like focus on what I'm doing like if I'm digging with a mini or something like that but then I'm like what the fuck did I just

miss so then I'm constantly going back in the podcast and it's like I never get anywhere because I'm just sitting there and then I miss it and like you want to hear what they're talking about and retain it so like what's what I do now? I don't really do that and like even if I'm in the hole I don't like to have earbuds in when the minis working around me or you know Somebody else is working around me, and then I just kind of feel like a douchebag if I'm in pickup and Just have my earbuds in sure but

I don't know It's like you know like when people you're sitting there trying to talk to somebody and you don't realize that they have earbuds in and you're like And then they're like, huh? You're like, well, I don't know anything. Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you now, right? Like I deserve your undivided attention and nothing less. Yeah, take your butt. You see me approaching take your fucking headphones out get a notepad out well and With what we do like digging around water mains and in between gas and electrical and that shit You usually do have like somebody spotting you sure and a lot of times they're talking instead of using like hand signals like down and

right, so like stop if you have your earbuds in you might not hear that or even if you accidentally hit something like you don't hear it like the pop or right you just you'd have to just feel it then so right you're basically what you're saying is your job isn't very isn't a very favorable environment to be like podcast yeah right it's not a brainless job you favorable environment to be like podcast. Yeah, right It's not a brainless job. You you got to be locked in kinda when you're doing a lot of the jobs you're doing. Yeah. Yeah But now I'm less I made a Go for it. I've been a few trips to Casey's lately and our favorite worker. It works there. Okay. Oh, yeah

We should print off like a grass studies podcast business card and you could just hand it to her We want her to listen back to all these episodes sure making fun of her and shitting on her Well, we haven't really made fun of her. I guess we have what? Whenever we talk about her like this fucking dumb idiot is making everyone know that she's pregnant Well, don't do that But I mean she's still every time I check out Have a good day, hon. Have you asked her on every time? And you're like I'm older than you dude I literally I take I have my hat down and I'm just looking down the whole time and I'm like trying to press my rewards

She's like your reward is ready for you. And I'm like pressing my rewards, put my rewards in, put my card in. She's like, have a good day, hon. I'm like, thanks. And I just walk away. Like I don't even say a word. I just try not to provoke. Have you asked her how her kid is? Oh, you should ask. I get locked in for like a 15 minute conversation. I'm sure the people of grass studies podcast want to know they don't I don't think they do I really don't wait what would you do if she came over and just was came over to my house no came over to you like when when you're playing the skills machine. I'm like, Lena. I donate every day. I got a bone to pick with everybody like this in the world. Like who? Genghis Khan? No. So you know that old lady that just, she knows what's best for you in your young age. Like in general?

Like just that, yeah, in general. Like a, like a old, like a wise old person, but in an annoying way. Yeah. Sure. So the other day I was at Cubby's, a gas station. You're like 36 years old and you're like, I have a girlfriend. They're like, don't hug her yet. You got to let the love seed grow.

Kind of, but I was getting an energy drink. I was getting an energy drink and, uh, out of nowhere, we've done stuff that wouldn't make you have a heart attack. I turned around and she's standing like in the aisle that I'm about ready to go down. Can I guess what she says? Yeah Those energy drinks are gonna kill you someday, sonny. Yeah, basically, that's exactly what she said pretty much She goes those are terrible for you. Those are terrible for your heart. You're like well, and I'm like still gonna buy it I'm like, yeah, probably shouldn't have them. I Go and get a snack

She's like, yeah, that's not very good for you either. You should just follow you around Well, she's like talking over the aisle to me I wouldn't get that either So anyways, I'm like I grab it and I got a I can't remember what it was but I Got it. And then she's in the double even with an apple in a water. I don't even know what happened She she eventually comes up behind me in the checkout line. She's like, yeah my husband

He he died from a heart attack couple years ago and I'm like okay is that your way of like deriving me from getting this energy drink? And she's just like telling me- Did he also paint your house with lead paint and have a thermometer with mercury in it? I'm just like- There may have been other Yeah underlying issues from your husband that was 97 when he passed away Did he have did he drink a bunch of energy drinks? No, okay Then just let me drink this and it can have its way with me His mom gave him a spoon of whiskey when he was an infant because he was teething. Yeah, exactly

and The the same lady is always working there And so I went in the next day And she goes he was waiting for you in the park. No the girl lady goes. Yeah After you left that lady she talked to me for like 45 minutes It was like that kids trying to kill himself. And I'm like, oh yeah? And then people are just so socially awkward.

I could talk to a brick wall, but sometimes I'm just like, I don't want to have a conversation with anybody. Sure. But I hate when people start a conversation and then they're just like, no. People start a conversation and you're like, okay, sure, I'll talk to you. And then they're just like, no, like people start a conversation. You're like, okay, sure, I'll talk to you. And then they're just like, you're too nice to be like, I gotta go. That's about it.

Or they're like, now you talk. And you're like, I didn't want to to begin with. No, I'm saying like people start a conversation and they say something and then you say something back and they're just like, yep, that was about it. And it's just like the conversation just got started. I'm like, oh, okay You're like, what's your social security number? Like where do you live? I'll follow you home. It is always me in this gal goes you guys have a good day. I'm like oh

The checkout lady, yeah And there's no one there she says you guys have a good yeah Like I might go with the guy I work with but he checks out like way before me It's so like I'm the only one standing in line and she goes like you guys have a good day I'm like is there fucking demon sitting on my shoulder or what you seeing two of us or what's going on here? Because there's not fucking two of us next time you should just like aggressively turn around and be like What so she has to explain herself There's not fucking two of us next time you should just like aggressively turn around and be like What so she has to explain herself?

No, I yeah, no you have to for the pod That's been your thing lately to you. Oh my god I got a good information for the fire for your bachelor party. You know what you kept doing you were just It's for the pod. Oh my god. I mean you were hammered and you're just like I'm getting in contact main character mentality And I remember any of it. I'm getting content for the podcast You did like seven hurricane shots And I don't remember hardly any of it

seven hurricane shots. And I don't remember hardly any of it. What do you remember? Well, after we took you guys back and we were getting ready to leave, some guy goes, oh, I heard it's your bachelor party and bought me 15 tequila shots. What the fuck? And I took five of them and I'm like, no, I'm done. And so I just turned around and handed the trade to some random person He bought you 15

15 alarming even if it was seven and a half. That's a lot No, it was legit 15, and I was like I Took five of them and then handed the trade of some random person and we left That's That's so aggressive all I remember fucking um because I went to bed when we got back which was like 1130 midnight and then you guys were like we got to go back out we got to go back out see if that one gay waitress is still working there I didn didn't say that. Well, I'm not saying you. I'm yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. That was what was I don't say his name don't say no one

kid yeah the kid that mooned me on the way up there. Yeah. Was like um. He was saying some pretty aggressive things to her when we were there watching the Husker game. Yeah I was just like we found out she was lesbian and he was like, I, he said, well, can I get your snap and watch? Yeah. And I was just like, I went in, I went in, I went in and cause she went inside and I'm like, we're all talking about leaving. And I went in and cuz she went inside and I'm like we were all talking about leaving and I went in paid my tab I'm like I am so sorry. It's like I gave her like a $40 tip cuz I felt bad for like What the fuck like everything that was going on like we literally just came here to eat food before and drink in ears

Yeah, but everybody got fucking torched Well, he got fucking torched and was just being like a fucking weirdo and I'm like, yeah So I went in and I paid my tab and like she was cool this shit Yeah Because we wanted to make it we were sitting outside and we wanted to make a We were kind of by a main road and we want to make a sign that said you honk we drink Yeah And she went got us like all the shit on a sign and like a marker to make the sun. She made it. So yeah, she wrote it

Yeah, and he was just being like a fucking dipshit. I'm like So I went paid my tab. I'm like, I am fucking so sorry. And so I gave her like $40 tip Well, and then we all tipped pretty well one fucking max dipshit gave like a hundred and twenty dollar tip Mike my fucking god Max dipshit gave like a hundred and twenty dollar tip Mike So we were getting ready to go back out to the bar and he was like We have to go back. We have to go back And we walked in there and I'm like, okay fine. Yeah, we'll just have drinks here instead of bring all the way back down to where We were we just have drinks here because we're like not that far from the room and of Ubering all the way back down to where we were, we'd just have drinks here. Because

we're like not that far from the room. And why the fuck, if we really had to we could walk. Right. And so she wasn't there. He talked to her sister and she wasn't there. And then it was just like, well, let's leave. I'm like. You're like, I got 10 more tequila shots I gotta take, guys. So they ordered an Uber all the way back to where we were when Spencer was singing with the. What? Yeah, we went all the way back to the,

whatever it's called. Why did we even leave then? What do you mean? Why did we leave the Blackstone District if you guys went straight back there? I don't know. I thought we were just going to get drinks somewhere close. And then I got an Uber and I remember getting there

and I remember sitting outside waiting for an Uber. And I remember my 15 tequila shots that got handed to me. Jesus. But well, I was in bed. Yeah. Falling asleep. And I woke up at about 2 a.m. to Spencer walking in the room. And I go to him, do another hurricane shot. And he's like, oh, I don't know.

I I didn't go with him. I was like, what? He's like, I was down in the lobby. I was like, for two hours. He's like, yeah, I ran into some Iowa fans and I was giving them shit. I was like, for two hours. Yeah, it was the first ran into some Iowa fans, and I was giving them shit. I was like for two hours Yeah, it was the first time talking to some random people in the lobby. Well. We were all sitting there We were down in the lobby and the lobby ladies were fucking cool

so we were all kind of bullshit with them and then all of these parents and all these girls playing softball came down and Then we somehow got on top about going to watch fucking softball the next day and Yeah, and I guess Spencer stayed there. We're gonna go watch these families of young girls Well because we said so we said Being on my bachelor party or something and they're like you should come watch softball

And then we all started in the yellow come watch softball. The parents were also kind of boozed up Yeah, they were they had fucking coolers down there. The kids were bouncing off the wall. They're drinking like 13 bug juices But yeah, and I don't know I don't remember much after leaving the hotel again So so Jackson was staying in our room, too Yeah, and he came in Not long after Spencer like maybe a half hour after Spencer he came in just dragging ass Because he's not as you know wild and crazy. Yeah pretty concealed. And he walks in and he just goes, by the way, the hurricane count is up to seven.

I just started dying laughing. Seven hurricane shots. It's like a one-off party trick. He comes like, again, it wasn't hard enough. It's like a one-off party trick. It camps like again. It wasn't hard enough. I Don't even remember anything after the very first one I Don't remember much after playing pool My god And that was a long eight. That was a long day

I mean we got food for the Husker game, and we started drinking it like noon Yeah, I Mean some of you fellas were drinking for more than 12 hours Because we went to Topgolf We went to Topgolf, then I was fine at Topgolf And then well what fucked me up was right before we left Topgolf, and I got that fucking golf bag What golf bag the $22 fucking drink That comes in a light golf bag that's supposed to be for two people that they only let you get like one every two hours

Yeah Yeah, that thing was fucking strong Do you remember how much it was $22 you just told me that didn't you yes, sir Yes, sir Hell of a deal hell Oh Man yeah, and then and then the next morning

There is some down bad morning there is some down bad gentleman in the other room. Cam is passed out in the bed, come to find out the one kid fell asleep in the bathtub with it running. Yeah. And only got like two hours of sleep and then we proceeded to get up and because we were checking out at like 7.3030 I don't know who I'm not sure who But somebody woke me up at like fucking 8 o'clock And goes cam are you gonna wake up and shower? Fuck you motherfucker. You let me know when we're leaving I'm gonna throw my shit in this bag is it my bag up walk down the stairs to climb in the car and be miserable

Which morning... did you puke that? You puked that morning. Yeah, I was puking that morning. No, the morning of Saturday. Because we were watching Bam Margera's YouTube video. Viva the Castle of the Bams. So, we got there Friday. Yeah. We deleted that buzz ball in the hot of the Man. So we got there Friday. Yeah. We deleted that buzz ball in the hot tub.

Yeah. And we... I got kicked out of a casino because I was too drunk. Yeah. I mean, what the fuck? Candles ain't get drunk. All because I couldn't get my card out of my wallet. The morning of this long bender you threw up.

Yeah. And then the Sunday morning after the long night of the hurricane shots and all that, you get out of bed. I didn't, I don't think you threw up. You didn't throw up that morning, but you were, you were a hurting unit. We check out, we get down to the parking lot, and Cam decides to perform a little party trick for us, and goes, hand me a Bush light. And proceeds to shotgun a Bush light in the parking lot, as you surely were still drunk from the night before, because you had a lot. And I was like, that was neat.

And Spencer and I drove home and proceeded to find out a couple days later that you had thrown up several times along the trip home. Like, I heard it was more like six. No. I heard you threw up three times before you got out of Omaha. No.

So we stopped at the truck. We stopped at the truck stop for max right the rest area That's like right outside. You know where the big church is up on the hill, okay? The little rest area that's right there. We stopped there beautiful scenic route for max throw up and Then I stopped outside Aurora Okay, and then it was like that was the first time you stopped. Yeah Then I stopped outside Aurora. Okay.

And then it was like... That was the first time you stopped? Yeah. Then maybe my sources didn't give me correct information. I thought you threw up like twice before you even got out of Omaha. No. I didn't throw up until Aurora. And it was from sitting in the car

and all the alcohol was just sloshing around on my stomach So I threw up yeah Aurora Right on the rest area You got to the rest area. Well, no, we just pulled over on the off ramp And I got shoulder you just in the ditch on the shoulder. I got out and just threw my fingers down my throat pole trigger I know trigger you just I did that I

Before I fell asleep. I did that twice Aurora And then before one more time before Grand Island, and then I fell asleep before Grand Island You fell asleep. Oh, yeah, well I think passed out No fell asleep. No, I I fell asleep before Grand Island. You fell asleep? Oh yeah. Well I think passed out. No, fell asleep. No, I just fell asleep. Because I knew the only way that I wasn't gonna have to quit stopping, or I wasn't gonna have to keep stopping

was if I just went to sleep. Oh, because it just kept happening. Because like, you know like when, when you're hungover, you don't feel like moving and then when you do get up and move, you know like when when you're hung over you don't feel like moving and then we do get up and move you're like oh or like when you you got from a hard night of drinking and you're laying in bed and you're like oh man I don't feel that bad and you stand up and start moving around you're like oh my fucking god my head is throbbing I feel like shit yeah it was that day when

you got home. Well No, I actually don't I'll actually wonder if I didn't get sick. Well, I Are we already had this time? But That's where this all started. I I went I right now I went home and I Got home. I think I ate something weird The worst the worst part about that entire thing was where our friend that we rode with

He lived in Kozak and so we rode with, he lived in Kozad. And so we rode with, in my pickup to his house. And then you had. So I had a fucking drive. And I got in my pickup and I had no sunglasses and the sun was dropping and the sun was just beating right in my face. I'm like, this is. The sun was dropping? Well, we left Lincoln at like eight

or we left Omaha at like 7.38 in the morning. Well, like I'm saying like eight or we left Omaha like 738 in the morning. Well like I'm saying like it was like two o'clock or Okay, I mean the Sun was on in mid like you know like reflecting off the roof like it wasn't directly above me It wasn't setting it wasn't setting no it was just like the Sun was just beating down, and I'm just like oh my fucking God Just this day can't get over I think I literally Bailey was all my bags and shit just inside the front door I think I got home and I just threw everything on the floor right by the door went right back to the bed what time do you think you got home I don't know it's probably like like 1, 2 o'clock.

Alright. So I stopped you before we started recording. And we'll trademark it. Oh yeah. But you said you have a million dollar idea. Trademark. Okay. And I really wish Trace was here to hear this, because... You know, we are the ones that kind of... Because that's what you're... Because you listened to that episode, right? No. because we are the ones that kind of, because that's what you're, because you listened to that episode, right?

No. Oh, okay, because we had an episode called Million Dollar Idea, where we came up with Million Dollar Ideas at the end of it. I don't know. Okay, go ahead. I just came up with this idea today. Yep.

So you know how there's Build-A-Bear, right? I'm aware. Trademark. Build-A-Bear Workshop, which is still the thing. We saw it when we went to the Mall of America. Yeah. I'm aware. Trademark. Build a better workshop. Which is still the thing. We saw it when we went to the Mall of America. Yeah. What about build a dick workshop?

What? Yeah. Alright. You go in there, you can build a dildo however you want it. What size, what girth, what what color whatever you want what million dollar idea build a dick build your dick yeah like you could put tentacles on it you can do whatever you want you can make it look like tentacles yeah you can make it look like corn you can make it look like an octopus you can make it look like a

fucking elephant's trunk you can do whatever you want We got molds for everything come on in so build a Dix workshop. Are you talking like a prosthetic? Like a dildo like a dildo okay, because we were watching a video well you can get or strap on anything like that, but Here's the thing build a bear you leave a message for your kid or your kid leaves a message you pull a button there from your significant other you know whatever you want so they can just play a message wait wait baby you're talking about building a dildo for your kid Wait, you said a put a message in for your kid. No it build a bearer They have messages like in the bearer, right for like your kid like oh, yeah, daddy loves you like that

Yeah, okay, but you put a message like it has a little speaker in the very bottom of the dildo. That's obviously waterproof Like in the balls and there's like the little speaker in the ball. Yeah, you just press the button. Where's the button? I don't know. It could be in the shaft if you wanted it. Like you get it deep enough, you hit the head and it's like... Okay, so first of all, walk me through your dick.

What do you mean? Your dream dick. You're trademarking this. Tell me what dick you want. If you're building a dick, tell me about it. It would probably have big old bulging balls huge balls like comically big Necessarily. Oh, yeah, just like they almost get in the way. It looks like a basketball Like that's pretty big a half Basketball, okay, but one nut because you donated the other one for 250,000. Yes. Yes. Yeah

extra extra veiny the real The shaft, okay. Yeah with with a couple freckles, right just little freckles on there, right Hood still attached Okay Hood is on I come from the hood in about 24 inches long. 24! I'm taking all of it, baby. What's the girth?

What kind of girth are we talking about? Probably about 2 can. So it's 24 inches long, but it's like this big around. So it's really, I mean, it's really this big around like this so it's really I mean beer can so what I mean, it's really Oh, yeah, like a noodle home intruders who needs a gun wait who needs a knife so wait dildo So wait so is this a prosthetic that you like put on and you like pretend It's your dick or is it like a strap on just like a dildo just a dildo So it's build a dildo. It's not

build a dick Whatever you want confused is it a prosthetic that you put on you like walk around like you just pretend like it's what You know like people get like piercings and studs and it's like this is a part of me now Like is it I'm guessing is it form fit to your dick so you can like put it on? Like you put your dick in a mold and it's like, I feel like wearing my dick today. Sure. Yeah, fuck it. You know, why not? I'm wearing my dick. It's made out of silicone, so why not? I've got a big job interview today. I'm meeting some clients at the bar. I'm going to put on my build a dick. I'm going to go in and see the old HR lady in right and she's gonna harass me. Yeah

That is a pretty good idea you want to hear my dick like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah my dick My girlfriend perked way up when she heard What did I send you oh Yeah All right. Did I make your fish flaps foamy? Oh, yeah. Did I make your fish flaps foamy? Oh, you've already seen it? I can feel it wiggling. It's wiggling. There's a trout in my pussy.

Give me another beer. I'm starting to get invincible. You didn't open what I sent starting to get invincible we're on the after show yes I did Bailey when did you sent me let me see if I can remember Bailey did you even listen to what my dick is? No, you sent me a video of... No, it's not a video. Herbie and Lil Red Tryouts. You think I'd be a good Lil Red?

Yes! Do I get paid? For Herbie! Would I get paid for it? Yeah, for sure. Nuh-uh. Oh, probably not. Never mind.

I wouldn't get paid? I would do it if I get paid that'd be fucking sick as hell You know how full circle that would be because I used to be afraid of mascots And then I become one it's like Batman dude. It's the ultimate Batman story How Batman was afraid of bats and then he became a bat as a symbol of justice I Was afraid I don't know I was afraid of the fun that the mascots were trying to cause and now I am a staple of fun and cheer for all to enjoy. Full arc.

They're like, oh wait, I know a big tall idiot that would totally get inside a costume and chase kids around. Uh, Bailey, did you even listen to what my dick is? Why? Cause she likes your dick just the way it is. There, I answered it for you. About my- Yes, tell me about your forlunchuous dick. Close your eyes and picture it.

I'm just kidding. What? It might be Amy. That's fine. your eyes and picture it. I'm just kidding what? What's up Jesus Christ You've got some surprise guests for the pot mother fucker You're blocking the shot get over here get over here. Oh, have you been drinking all night or what? What's up, Fer? Hey, do you want it you want a garage beer I was we got we're doing a million dollar idea Grab that chair Fer, you can share that.

You can Ferb, you can Ferb that with Trace. We're just... Okay, I gotta, I gotta tell you... I gotta repitch it. Okay. All right. All right. I gotta repitch it. There's another... there's more chairs out there if you wanna go grab one. No? Okay. He does. All right. I to repitch it. Okay, so You know how there's build a bear, right? No, hey, this is all Million dollar idea. Yep. We're doing million dollar ideas. Why is this flimsy? That thing's bad Why is this flimsy at the bottom of the chip at the bottom of the stairs because it came hello not my company So I've already trademarked this Furby heard you fucking ass up. I'm trying to tell my million dollar idea. I want to hear about Jake's dick

Is bad bad Are you cheaping out on us? No, I just these are the newer ones and that's the old one. There you go. Thank you. I appreciate you you guys can either you can't really share headphones but you can share traces okay so million dollar idea fine well you guys are in here so you know how there's build a bear right yeah no so trace and I were talking about million dollar ideas actually made a build a bear

Yeah, it was a frog it was a frog and a frog I wanted to name him Jeremy And my mom I was young as fuck. My mom was like I'll help you Spell Jeremy cuz I didn't know how to spell it And we that's okay Well, if you want to adjust it to get him in shot, that'd be great Anyway, why did you name him? I don't know Jeremy was just such a dope name. Sorry to get you guys off. I like how you're like I want to name on topic. We're so I like how you're like, I want to name him Jeremy I was young like as if I don't know anyway, my mom helped me spell it. She typed it out on the computer

Printed it. My dad looks at the like Receipt that you get or like the I think it's like a birth certificate and it said Germany So my frog was named Germany It was my mother one fucking job trace Anyways, so there's build a bear. Okay, Trace knows a lot about build a bear Well, I came up with a million or bill a frog million dollar idea. It's called build a dick You can go in dig build any kind of Sexual pleasure try to move the mic in between you guys it can have corn tentacles okay what do you mean by corn like it would be like it could be like a

fucking corn cob if you really wanted it okay it could be like bad dragon this fucking long and a fucking something like Colonel lumps like for texture yeah that's what I mean like pimples no like no like a corn cob horn corn kernels, you know, I don't know fuck so produce So we're talking about building our dicks and how we would build it. So is it like exclusively dildos? Or strap-on. What do you want to make? Well, I just wanted to know I just for you I mean if you really wanted to you we could probably open it up to building like chastity belts for you and shit.

And we could do build a box. That's a good idea. Build a box? Build a pussy. We'll have build a dick, and then next door we'll have build a pussy. Trace was like, I'm not a carpenter. Sorry, you haven't found a box before, but fuck.

So it'll be build a dick and build a pussy. so hey, babe, you go have fun at build a dick I'm gonna swing over to build a pussy, right? Okay Okay, so for the sake of the people that have already listened to this Why don't you build us your ideal pussy now and you guys can go back and listen to the pod and hear about cans? So talk about your maximum room for maneuverability. I Want something that I can just like get inside Roll around that's At least the fist mine's gonna look like a sleeping bag the fist ability has to be at least four stars

The fist ability has to be at least four stars. The fist ability. Four stars, four stars as in like four fingers. No, all five. All five. Fucking. All five digits. Oh, yeah. We're reaching in there this deep. OK. Balls deep, elbow deep. On some real chipetto type shit. Some real. Yeah.

And I want to be about as big around and about as fat as my Chipotle burrito. OK, I can imagine. You just really want to fuck that burrito, don't you? I mean, you made a comment about it while we were there. Yeah. Yeah. We got Chipotle before this and he goes, if there wasn't anyone here, I would 100 percent pull out my penis and fuck this burrito.

That's what he said. I just want to I just want to also mention that since I've been binge listening to you guys's episodes You guys have mentioned Chipotle burritos in a good amount of episodes So it wouldn't surprise me if you were both horny for Chipotle. That's a good point Trace Dude, there was one episode where we that described how we make ours. Yeah. Oh, yeah Did it mean I have a question. Did it make you hungry for one? Hungry?

It made me hungry for a Daily Owns burrito. You're not a Chipotle guy. I'm not a Chipotle guy. Yeah. They're, dude. The last time we went to Daily Owns, somebody whipped their dick out. Ferb, are you a Chipotle guy?

I would have liked that. Yeah. But I will say one thing. Daily Owns is falling off and it is falling off bad You think so my last three? like experiences, okay cold cold soggy

But I only go to the West Oh one the West Oh ones right by my house The West Oh, that's, yeah, that's understandable. The West Oak. That's like the original one, ain't it? You see that shit? What, what? Why don't you get me one of these? No, you don't. Oh, the pop filter?

You need one of those. I need one of these for when I'm like talking to contractors. And you're going like this, talking to contractors, like, yo, this is what it is. You're going to need 25 yards. You see all that concrete in there? Nobody can fucking hear me. In your speakers?

Yeah. You need to get one of those like Bluetooth, just some real blue collar shit. You know what you just reminded me of? Today we were watching, at work, we were watching Ridiculous Six, the movie. At work? Yeah.

I need to come fucking work with you then, watch movie. And you know when, have you seen the movie? Uh-uh, I by maybe see parts of it Yeah, the Funny as fuck okay, and Well, they're going to play this like high stakes poker game or some shit to rob it well mark twain walks in he's like Talking like what's up, boy? Like all like not how it would be in that day and age Friday

Right for And PG 13 year, yeah So that's what that just remind me of when he's like talk with his hands Okay, anyway, so do you want to build a box for us he's like, talking with his hands. Okay. Anyways. So, do you want to build a box for us? A little box. Oh wait, you already described it. Yeah.

So, let me build a dick for you guys. All right, picture this. What's your ideal color, shlong, that you would sit on? Sit on? Sit on and bounce. Recreationally. Verb.

Recreationally. Not for money, recreation. here's the thing not for money recreation here's the thing my girlfriend has been begging to peg me that begging that's when the midlife crisis is gonna hit and you can only say no so many times before I have to give in. Are you scared? Are you scared? You got a scared. Are you scared to let her pay you like I'm definitely I'm definitely would be like what if she pays me? I just love it So you're in like that you would accidentally like it and discover that I Know it's raised you're like she's just back there Ram and you and you're like oh no, and she's like what you're like You gotta think it's like instead of us fucking I'm just like babe throw that motherfucker on tonight

Like what's the matter hair that's in my ass it would take my whole body oh yeah, oh Astroglide So my ideal dick would be It would take my dick. Oh, yeah of astroglide So my ideal dick would be oh My build a dick ready it would be comically large Like Saints Row 3 the penetrator like so big that the veins on it look like little penises. Oh Like so big that the veins on it look like little penises. Oh

So there's many dicks on the big dick, okay And then of course I love the ergonomical design of those dildos where there's the extra little butthole So when you're going in you're hitting both at the same time. It's gotta have one of those on it, okay So you're already into getting pegged. And because I love you, I'll add a little, maybe oscillating feature to the butt one. So it's just... Because you love her. This isn't for her, this is for you. I'm uncomfortable.

Wait, so this is all about you getting pegged? No, no, no. Oh, we're back to penises. No, no, no. Oh, no, no. We're back. No, like you can, you can even... It's for that. No, actually I changed, scrapped all that. So your build-a-dick... My build-a-dick is going to look like one of those giant, like, hogs that's on a rotisserie. Yeah. But it's just, it's there and then you hit a button and then it just slowly starts to like rotate and that's my build it I have so I can say I've got a hog on me and it's a little hog

I seen a pair of underwear that is elephants head and you just put your dick For the trunk in the trunk and it's got ears Balls just go technically in its mouth and you guys walk around with an on balls go in its mouth Yeah, I seen it. I think it was on team or some shit It popped up as a team who add and like what the fuck is that and I clicked on it and it was like Elephant trunk underwear, and I'm like what the fuck does team or wish calm have like Sex stuff. Oh, yeah Sheen you want the cheapest built fucking dildo that might break off of your pussy?

What is Sheen? You don't know what Sheen is? A 3D printed dildo? Like literally? Clearly you haven't listened to your girlfriend. Sheen? Sheen. Lena, you've probably mentioned Sheen, right?

But you know what it is. Charlie Sheen? No, not on Sheen But you know what it is Charlie Sheen? He doesn't listen to me either No, not Charlie Sheen Oh, I know what fucking Sheen is because that's the only thing that you get a bag the size of this fucking fridge on your doorstep What have you ordered from Sheen? I don't order shit from Sheen Okay Bailey orders

I didn't know $180 worth of Sheen shit and she wears one thing out of it she shit does she get a sheen shed from sheen So funny fucking comical you are hell of a deal And you haven't has anyone failed their New Year's resolution yet like zero zero at all this year Like zero at all this year Like zero at all this year so far Yeah Good job since last time you were on we talked about New Year's resolution has anyone failed their New Year's resolution yet this year I never know so you haven't failed I can't fail if I don't make one

I'd made one not right there not to drink drink in January and I failed on January 5th. Why? That's so specific. That's not even a year's resolution. My new year month's resolution. I said to quit vaping and I haven't vaped so... You haven't vaped all year? You haven't vaped all year? Hell yeah, really.

I'm proud of you, man. But you've chewed. But you quit that recently. No, that's different. I had rogues, but what what made you want to quit? We just did did you just wake up one day? He was like today's the day. Yeah. Well, we were talking about it for a while So I did and then I did it Alright and then well to now now was the first time I've drank in two weeks I Was on I was on the good boy bow and then Jake just threw me off of it, but I

Can't control what's in the magic mini fridge. That's all right, and I don't know if we're gonna get cursed because trace brought in outside beer no they came out of there so now if you don't like lime beers I'll say the lime is very subtle so it's not very limey I told you about that time in Vegas with that gay guy it was like do you want to try my Bud Light Lime? Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I told you about that a couple episodes ago. Oh, that's not nearly as bad as someone taking your shoes off and smelling them and saying, yeah, that's a good feet finder. I can't argue with that one.

Trace wasn't there for that. I know, but I was saying like that actually happened to me. My feet got some nift. Yeah, they did. And I was tired and drunk. I wonder if you can build a day. I want I want to get your View on this so in the scenario I was in okay, right I Was in Vegas I was drunk

Alyssa's nowhere. She's in the room Okay, and I'm at the virtual roulette table just hitting that shit Okay. And I'm at the virtual roulette table. Just hitting that shit. You know, just this fucking make black, black, red, black, red, red, red, black. I was betting like $20. I need a beer or $20 a roll. Anyway.

So this gay couple sits next to me. Top them off. And I see that he's got like a green Bud Light can. I had never seen that before in my life. I was like, what are you drinking? And he was like Bud Light Lime. I was like, I've never had that before. And it was opened already. He had taken a couple drinks from it. These are the last two and he was like yeah And he was like do you want to try it? You know as you do in Vegas when a stranger asks you would you want to drink out of their can?

Would you have drank out of it? Yeah Like if you hadn't had it before but you were curious you probably wouldn't I did not I did my head I Did and luckily it was not drug because it could have been was it a personal cup no it was it was a can no I that's not good great topic great topic if you are Told that you have like Mmm a week to live. How are you living that week? Oh my god? That's are we going to circle a week sure yeah you start Okay, so why don't you end it?

Okay, so I start before we start though is money an issue. No, okay That's actually we just assume that we have unlimited money No, but you don't have like millions like but you have well enough off Yeah, you have enough to like have a lot of fun for a little yeah, okay, but you don't have enough to go buy a $5 million boat and do whatever you want. Nothing like out of reach. Okay, so I've actually thought about this a lot and on my bucket list is to go see an actual Arsenal game in person in London, England and Then also go ride the big the what is it called? I can't remember what it's called the big various the big Ferris wheel the London. I yes

I want to do that as well and Then I'd probably just live the rest of my life that week in England finding shit to do that's very wholesome trace That's a great answer. Yeah, that was very wholesome compared to mine. I'm sorry. That's a whole submit I love that answer trace. That was the best answer I've ever heard Frankly, there's never been a better answer on this podcast Mine is That was decent Okay, my wait till my build a dick comes in yeah, okay mine and

Bailey actually my little this my build a dick the head of it is just gonna be Robert Irvin's face If I am announced that I have one week to live I am doing the maximum amount of hookers and blow So Bailey's gone. I'm living no she's still there. She could tag along if she's just watching you fuck hookers and do cocaine Well, no, I'll probably I'll probably leave her with some money, but oh Yeah, I'm living so you'll cut her a check. I'm living life like it's the 80s So you're fucking going somewhere in the middle of nowhere some ran down that you're definitely bound to step on a needle Hotel Okay, I like that like hookers blow and

That's it So you're cutting all the reason that can just saying you know sorry i'm sorry but i gotta do this and then if i catch something i might just come back give it to her and then show show i've been to have a the summer never be forever

is this like are we assuming this is like the age you are right now by the bike are you still are you assuming this is the age you are right now talking to the mic Are you are you assuming? This is the age you are right now? No, okay What is it? I'm guessing cams like 44 right now Like no like even if I'm 80 I'm still doing that hookers and blow hookers and blow all the Viagra. Yeah Once one pops once one fails. I'm popping another one

I mean those motherfuckers like they're going to be rock hard until my heart stops beating oh Yeah, I get my sentence to when I die It might it might kill me because I'm gonna take all the blood flow from my heart right to my dick And I'm my dick's gonna have a pulse my dick's gonna become a new heart build a dick your dick doesn't already have a pulse Well, it does no that motherfucker dead. It looks like a... Looks like it's got frostbite, but it don't have frostbite. Well, I have some gangrene on that finger, you see that?

No. She done cracked open. Cracked open, got a little too dry. Alright Jake. Need to get some O'Keeffe's working hands, but my Yeah, I mean honestly mine's pretty boring. I'm probably just gonna spend as much time with my family Okay, well I want to I want to reiterate oh Did I did I well no Alyssa would be with me in that scenario right? Did I did I well know Alyssa would be with me in that scenario? I go to income told Bailey to fuck off. No, baby. I told her you get you could come with or you can stay back

Okay, you can come with and fuck hookers. So you're telling me you fuck male hookers. No sure sure Or you can try it or if she wants to fuck hookers I'll watch her fuck if you want to each other and hookers She can come and throw my build a dick and fuck hookers if she really wants to That'd be hot For you How many beers So yeah

I'd probably I mean I'd probably just spend as much time with my family as possible because I mean so much to me And I don't know where I would be without them And I wouldn't imagine the time without them and I love them so much I would just want to spend every night waking moment of my life and then you go to a Boston I have been to one before but yeah Yeah, I would like take my family imagine. Okay. I'll think of a better. I got a better answer I got a better answer I got a better answer. How long do I have? How long do I have you have a week one week one week?

I'm going to Sunday. I'm going to choose seven people So I'm gonna so one of the days I'm gonna spend taking Rudy kill him to a Red Sox game One of the days I'm gonna spend taking Rudy kill him to a Red Sox game. One of the days I'm gonna spend taking... You know, each day is gonna be spent with... Is Rudy the first one though? Well, I don't know. So basically, my dad, my mom, my sister, Lena, her parents, and Ben.

I feel like Rudy's got to be the last one Okay, because he's losing a son. I'll cry the hardest for that one Maybe not but just in general like your dad's gonna and then I'll shake his hand and then I'll just All the color will flush out of me and I'll just collapse right there like right right as the ninth inning ends right right in front Of Fenway Park right in Fenway Park, okay, and I die in Fenway how pissed would you be epic you're on the green giant or green monster whatever it is and my body falls over onto the field they're like no we gotta stop the game and your favorite Red Sox player just cracks a fucking home run right over the green monster

and it's what kills me and you catch it It hits me in the head and kills me you catch it. You're like, oh my god Heart attack dead. I take it So yeah, and then some little shit run. You know baseball Lena's parents My sister my brother-in-law and my parents each day. Well, what about our kid with He can tag along. So eight people. He's not considered a person yet. But like each day of the seven days is going to be spent doing whatever is their thing. I bet he is, but he's old enough to not have somebody with him.

Right. That's what I'm going to do. So like with Ben you're probably going to go fishing or something? Yeah, with Ben I'm going to go hunting and fishing. With Maggie I'm going to, I don't know, watch Jersey Shore. I don't know. I've never really talked to my sister, but Okay, let's hear the diabolical answer Real all right. Can you hear this? Yes, or do I need to be I can hear you Do you want it do you want it? No?

Yeah, good So I'm a guy Who has this issue where I've got a lot Of cum and I've got to get it all I am a little heavy today, but you're backed up. You need to get milked We'll talk about He knows about it but camera can't see under this table Not that way. Okay, so I'm a guy who has I could see who has this issue where I like like a certain hobby For like four months. I get you and then out of nowhere. It's a different one. I get you. He's kind of like me, but like with sports

I go. Oh, yeah hockey. I'm gonna be a hockey player When you have unrealistic impulses, that's what I'll describe yours as I took him to a Stars game for his first time he's like and he's like I'm gonna be a hockey player and I was like What and he's like, I've got the golf swing. I was like, have you ever ice skated before? He's like, no, I'll figure it out. Anyways, go ahead. While all of you guys were answering, I'm just trying to think and I kept overthinking,

so I was like, fuck it. I'm gonna think. Don't overthink. I'm gonna think about what I would do right now. And I have an obsession when nobody's around. At home, I love to be naked. Fuck yeah. No matter what I'm love to be naked. Fuck yeah. No matter what I'm doing, just naked. It's free.

But I was saying, I wanna go to Augusta for seven days, butt ass naked. And just play golf? That'd be serene. Play golf and fucking sleep on 18. That'd be serene. For a straight fucking week, fucking topless, it's just full nude golf course, you know?

But only like, Carter and you. The topless is what would be okay. Oh, the card girls are naked too. Not just people, the card girls are naked? Oh, everybody. Everyone's naked. Everybody. But like, old people.

I don't know who. And he's got a fucking third leg swinging around. John Daly comes out. You can't even see his dick because his belly's hanging over it. Right. But I- Fucking Phil Mickelson's hangs to the left. Fucking third leg swinging around, John Daly comes out, you can't even see his dick because his belly's hanging over it. Fucking Phil Mickelson's hank's to the left. Dude, this is making me rethink my whole thing. Fuck the hookers and blow. I'm thinking like, Cart Girl is attached to my golf cart with all the drinks.

Like, bottoms, and it's free. Genentonic's like, on tap, you know? You like Genentonic's? I think I know. They taste like pine trees, I only like You like Kenan Tonics? I think I know. They taste like pine trees, I only like them on the golf course, so that's my thing. Kenan Tonics on the golf course? Try them. If you're gonna talk, please not.

They're fucking good. Okay. But yeah, I would get lost. You're like, my voice doesn't even hear. Go ahead. No, I'd get lost and I'd literally just fucking play till I couldn't anymore. While you're there, will you please climb one of the trees and find the speakers where they're piping in the bird noises?

I just need it. I need it. Find it. Where even is Augusta? Get it. Georgia. Augusta, Georgia. You really think there's no birds in Georgia?

No, but there's a rumor where like you can hear bird noises like with people out on the course And they're like looking up around and they see no birds like there's rumors that they pipe in Bird noises for the ambience of the course hmm well that entire golf course is so far-fetched Oh, yeah, that whole golf course is like Disney like they have subair system So they can regulate the soil temperatures like they're playing God over there It's like Jurassic Park, but for golf course And they like it's like an unrealistic because everyone you know Speaking as a golf guy everyone looks at the Masters tournament on TV

And then they go to their municipal course or their private course And they're like why can't our course look like that and it's like because they have a fucking unrealistic like there was a tournament two weeks ago I watched a deal about it and they try to dry the course out and they completely killed the t-box killed it the day before the like day before the tournament it was pronounced dead so was like so they came out it no they just it just got too dry. They were they stopped running water so they could try to firm things up. That's what I'm guessing. And so, yes.

And so they came out, they played the first day of the tournament. They painted it green. The next day, they came in, stripped the entire tee box. And within the next morning, when they teed off at seven o'clock, they had a brand new tee box with turf on it that they could play off of because I sawed it Yeah, they came in worked all night to saw the fucking tee box So some of these courses that have huge crews with lots of volunteers. Yeah, there's like 50 of them working And you see a pristine ass

Lush green not a brown talking side on TV. It's unrealistic a thousand square foot t-box Right within the rough around it that they just sawed it You know it's funny cuz you would think you'd be like well We can't just grow a t-box overnight, and then they fucking did yeah Traces like this is getting boring. Let's talk about dicks again Trace just wants a dick in his butt You want to sit on that dick Trace? Here you go. No give me this mic. The only golf I know is Jim Ager. Let's go dude. I've

never actually golfed with you. Three par course. Nine holes. I think you got most of it right. It's three par. I'm pretty sure par 3 fuck you and Anyway, the only other Golf I do is top golf Today and he was talking about how he got fitted for clubs and I was like, oh cams a really good golfer And he's like we should go golfing sometime and I'm like, yeah

Trace is more of a mini golf time. can't golf I'm so bad but the funny part about that is Brendan asked me today he was like does Furby and Jake still call each other every Friday no I know but yeah good point I'm like even no don't do that anyway he was like this Furby and Jake still call No, but. Shut up. Sorry. Yeah. Good point. I'll be on my keepin. No, don't do that. Anyway, he was like, does Furby and Jake still call each other every Friday?

And I was like, no, I don't think so. And then next thing I know, you're telling me, oh, Furby called me today. That's funny. And I was just like, maybe they do.

I don't. It's always been a conund just like, maybe they do. It's always been a conundrum for me in my brain. I sent out a Friday Motivational video. You do. And he happened to call me today because I said, Cam's coming to town today in the video. Did I send it to you this morning? You did. I don't always send it.

No, you did because... What? Was them showing up planned? Yeah. Oh. I planned to surprise you. I was texting. I'm at Chipotle We would've heard I was like I was like we would have been here sooner I was like we're eating right now come and surprise us in the studio. Yeah perfect Yes, we wanted I wanted to do this for you because

First it scared me cuz I didn't even hear you well trace fucking fl fucking flung the door open and I thought he was going to knock the tripod over. I was like Jesus Christ. Tell them the original plan. He just threw his beer open. So the original plan was, and this wasn't even coordinated at all. Literally was on our drive over here. I was like, so here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna barge through the door, crack my beer,

and then if Jake's wearing a hat, which you are, he was supposed to like flip it off you. But you got your headphones on. At least they were, see that's good thinking, thinking in the moment, because in the moment I would just fuck you. And then Furby like but I got a hat on what if he flips it off me and I was like Here we're thinking in a little bit. I was like well if that happens I haven't

Well, I'm glad you guys joined us. We went a little long this episode I may have to split this into a couple parts last episode went fucking two hours is it we're at an hour 44 oh I'm glad you guys came and surprised cam before the night gets too late before the night gets too late I think we're gonna probably crack a few more beers and hang out chat catch up do some things sure yeah it's been since football season since I've seen you. Oh yeah, and you never Snapchat me anymore. On that note, Cam, thank you for joining me on this episode that you're the co-host of. Trace is a frequent guest.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Furby, first time get... Before we go any farther and stop this, by the way, I did get all of my stuff to do the podcast. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, body. Yeah, I think I did mention Well, I got like the soundboard and I got the soundboard and the mic and everything else Yeah, cam and I are trying to figure out how to buy remotely It was once again like me and Jake's first episode ever we one night were like, you know what? We were talking about doing a podcast doing a podcast for months

And they were like fuck it We're gonna do it tonight and we try to do it and we thought it would just be you plug two mics in and go Well, and then everything's not that easy. It was the same thing with me getting that and base computers a lot more new So I gotta have a USB to USB C bullshit. Well the cord can't Take it in reverse. I don't know they can't take it in the back door, which is bullshit so Take it in reverse. I don't know they can't take it in the back door, which is bullshit So I'll take you in the back door her computers I gotta get a different cable that's the gist of the story and then we'll be recording sometime so bear with us My phone

We're still figuring it out But yeah for the time being we'll still have amazing guests like trace and hopefully furby If you can figure out your fucking work schedule, we never and get in your get your ass in here and record with us um, but This has been a banger episode and i'm glad you guys you guys came at the perfect time I love you cam. We should you should move back to lincoln I would but We should you should move back to Lincoln Look at the dirty look I'm getting for

Nice never mind. No, I know where you're living. No, no if I told Bailey I said let's move back to Lincoln She'd like okay Did you just start packing up all of her shit and throw it in the pickup audio only on Spotify and Apple podcast YouTube? Tick-tock go over there. I haven't posted in a minute, but. Give me a year or two, Bill the Dick's will be. I'm gonna get back on that. Signature dab, I'm not gonna, I can't, you're too far away. Don't even worry. Don't even do it. Don't.

Thank you guys all for watching. Cam, you got anything to hit them with? Until next time. Always remember, malaria's not that bad. Oh! Until next time always remember Whatever he's not that bad to Ebola Happened to Ebola. I don't know I outran that shit When you were on your trip to Australia through Europe and then no I was going up to Russia Swam down to Australia. Swam back to you and you know He was in a much just be it must just be the big cities of Russians that are pricks

He was in an iron long for a minute. It must just be the big cities of Russians that are pricks. Because I went way out in Siberia and the one guy had a tiger. The one guy had a pet bear and it was cool. They offered you a cigarette and you said no. And he said, yeah, you should. And they can smoke this or I'm going to kill you. Yeah. We're going to end this episode. All right.