Grass Daddies Podcast - Episode 79: Perfectly F#cked Up

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast Kam and Jake recap the events which occured on their epic bender. The boys talk about their golf round where they almost got in a fight, how they met an individual in the club house who has ran across America 9 times, and the time they spent at the lake; boating, tubing and crawling through cat-tails. All before winding down by watching a wholesome family movie (Blazing Saddles). SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @grassdaddiespodcast @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

And then we hit a nice bump and I started shifting down. Well, the first time it happened, I pulled myself up and I just pulled myself up and we hit another bump and I slid all the way down in my pants. And underwear and you were wearing jeans with boots and your fly was down. Yeah. Nice callback. I'm going to go to the Welcome to the Red Podcast. I'm Jake, that's Cam and we are I'm sure we're coming to you Everything yeah, did it get spotty at all for you? No

God a camera always looks off But when I was back behind it it looked it looked good. I can still smell your shit. No Yeah from yesterday or today No, I think I made it all in the toilet, but I sprayed some Poopery. That stuff's magical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know. You might just have to deal with it. But so yesterday we had a full day.

I mean, let's just run through it because that's basically what this whole episode is going to be about. It's just talking about what happened yesterday Woke up at 830 8 8 o'clock 830 woke up at 830 Got ready to do the podcast Recorded the podcast did the podcast had some beers on the podcast a couple beers on the podcast and then continued to Ruin our liver speaking of which

It's like muscle memory at this point. My muffin top is just out right now. It sure the fuck is. That is heavy. You weren't lying. That beer's got rocks in it. So we went to the golf course early because turns out no one really likes to golf when it's a hundred degrees and so the course was pretty wide open Yes, they had an event going on

On the front nine so paid the back nine twice. We played the back nine twice I Don't know. I guess my plan for the day was like since it's gonna be so hot, you know, obviously we're gonna have a few beers while we're playing golf. I mean you can't just play golf and not have at least a couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know what it is about. Maybe it's just cam, maybe I don't know. Maybe I got my father's DNA in me from when he's in his heavy drinking days, but when the beers start flowing they just start following each other one after the other. And it just, and then we started doing challenges.

Like we are just playing our own ball at first. And if you take a double bogey, you had a shotgun to beer. You know, simple stuff, fun, hardy tricks like that. And then we decided to play alternate shot. if you bogeyed you shotgun to beer We both had to because we were playing together at that. Yeah, so It was getting out of hand We got the hole 13 on our second our second time like we started with a six pack Yeah, not last perfect. It was perfect. We opened our last one on 16

pack yeah not last perfect it was perfect right under last one on 16 right oh yeah one so we made the turn three holes or whatever we made the turn and got six more yeah and I don't know what happened I I think those I think the cooler had like a hole in it and the beers were jumping out yeah dude is like we got to 13 we made it to hold 13 our second time and the six beers were gone. No more beers. So you're like, well. And I was like, you know what? It's way too hot to be out here without any cold drinks.

Sort of refreshment. So I said, fuck it. And we got to go get some more beer. So I got us a 12 pack for six holes. And I get a yagerbombs. Those got finished. Oh yeah, I always forget that you're just, every time we were at the bar you'd be like, can I get six beers and two yagerbombs?

Going back, can I get six beers and two yagerbombs? Let me get 12 beers and two yagerbombs. Exactly. So we're having fun playing golf, getting ripped. And then at one point we come across. Am I allowed to name their names? Who? People who went to the lake with. Oh, yeah, I don't think they care. OK, so. We met up with Cameron. You texted Cameron, your buddy Cameron, to see if he could take us to the lake. Yeah, it was like hot. Yeah,

it was a hundred degrees. The only other thing we literally had to do was either just go golfing, play more golf, but I'm not gonna lie, I had enough it was so hot. There's yeah, we were starting to get larried up So we were definitely larried up but we You texted him or called him. Yeah, and we're asking him if he could take us out on the boat. What are you doing? I'm looking looking at what my penis You're so funny so open baby So we got a hold of Cameron and his girlfriend It's Candace right

Cadence god damn it. I kept some reason I thought it was Constance and it was cadence I was I don't know. Constantinople. I don't know what her name is, but one more time cadence. Yeah, right. And not cadence. Anyways, yeah, so it was like, and now why? Before we let you tell your story for the 18th time. No, no, no, no, no.

She was driving the beer cart yes and Cameron said I will take you out there but you gotta talk to my girlfriend so cuz she was working we hunted her down at the golf course like by that we saw her while we were playing we're like let's go talk to her yeah so we found her and I was like guess what you're taking to the lake. Like I didn't ask. I just told her. She's like, oh, that's nice. And you're like, and to your bombs.

Awesome. And so I go, can we get to the egg or bomb? Jager, Jager, Jager. And, uh, there was a guy riding with her and she was pouring the shot and he goes, you got to pour heavy and like push the bottle down in my cup. And I literally had a Yeager bomb that was just Yeager. Yeah. So from my perspective, being that I'm kind of on this trip, and this is kind of your area and domain, I assume, you know,

everyone and this guy, like, I thought he was one of your friends and he was like Oh, you got a poor heavy for him like he was messing with you as a buddy Come to find out we didn't know who this guy was and he just physically forced the beer cart girl To super heavy pour one of the jaeger bombs and I was like that one's cams. I'm not taking that So and then anyways so Jake was still on the green putting and she was kind of pulled over sides. I walked over there got the Jagger bombs and Jake walks up and I the guy that was there had like cowboy boots on jeans a polo. So I'm like dude you got to be hot because I'm fucking

hydroplaning off the golf cart seat because my ass is so sweaty right now and I'm wearing shorts in a polo. Right. So I just said, yeah, you got to be hot. Well, Jake walks up and he goes, yeah, you're so hot, your flies down. Which it was. I looked down and I see his fly was completely down, which so like guy knows you kind of just like if someone has their fly down It's almost like and that's it like it's not like yeah big deal or anything if anything It's kind of I would want somebody to be like yo. Hey. Thanks. It looks Thanks for let me know that my fucking zippers down and my fucking Johnson's just flopping out of my jeans right now

You're you're just letting someone know so it's also just kind of a funny thing because every guy, every person... You're letting the horses out of the barn. Every person has had their fly down at one point. Yeah. And you can either say nothing and let them be embarrassed or be like, hey, your flies down. But I just was funny about it because it was so hot out. And it's got a ventilation duct. Well, Jake thought he was funny. This guy did not think Jake was funny. He goes, you fucking meat gazer.

Called me a meat gazer, which is such an old term. It's like old locker room slang like guys in my high school Would if you would looked at them when they were showering they call you a meat gazer Yeah, and so I don't know if that's still a saying but it seems kind of like an old saying But anyways, and then we thought I got chastised for pointing out that his fly was down I guess Okay, and then you take the rest of the story, tell he at least got to T-box. What do you mean?

Nevermind. I just said, yeah, I'm the gay one. Yeah. He didn't hear us, but I said it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were driving away at this point. And I wasn't even pissed off that he said that. I was just like, wait, how did I get? Yeah, like... I'm not the one with my fly down.

Anyways, so we're just playing. And then Cameron came out and met us and he goes, are we actually going voting? And I'm like, it's up to you. Well, the first thing he said, he pulled up to us and he goes, hey, if you guys are going to fight on the course, you got to take it off. And I thought he was talking to us to I was like, we haven't been fighting. Yeah. I'm like, were we being loud and arguing or something?

I was like, yeah. What are you talking about? And he goes, I guess this guy said he wants to fight you guys. So we're like, huh? So that guy that has fly down apparently was getting pissed off at us. Yeah. And told everybody in the clubhouse. And this was complete news to us.

Yeah. We were just having the day of her life and I'm like You're you're taking this so serious that a guy said hey your flies down. I want to fuck him up Because then eventually we finished our round we got back to the clubhouse and I guess cam walks in it goes up to the bar Which is what cam does when he sees a clubhouse His walk straight up to the bar and they just went cam. It's not worth it. He's like what is going on? I just walked up. I'm like what the fuck is everybody talking apparently everyone at the fucking Country Club thinks we're about to get in a fight, and we didn't even know about it

So Anyways that all happens we had another drink or we had another Jaeger bomb. We didn't have another beer. Oh yeah, we did. So we had five. Five Jaeger bombs. Oh my God. And we were just sitting in there.

Then we encountered probably the, perhaps one of the coolest things I ever, probably the best drunk conversation I've ever had in my entire life. I'll let you start it off because you ran into him first so I heard these guys talking they're like this guy that's in green up there is running from Maine to New York no organ organ domain organ Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Organ domain. And so I'm like, quite a ways. Uh, yeah.

So I just like. I got to go talk to this guy, you know, you hear something like that, you're like. Podcast content, exactly. So I'm like, I got to go talk to this guy, so see anyone interesting in real life. We're going to try to use you for content. Exactly. So I'm like, I gotta go talk to this guy. As we see anyone interesting in real life, we're gonna try to use you for content. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go and talk to this guy, and I'm talking to him, and I'm like, you need a drink or anything? I will get you a drink, like a Gatorade

or something you want. He goes, no, I got a Gatorade or something you want and he goes no I got a Gatorade I'm like you want a beer he goes beers actually the worst thing you can drink No, he's like period Here's the worst thing you can make and I go Yeah, I've drank a lot of it today. Yeah, but it makes you feel cool. And so About that time Jake shows up. Yeah, I still look and Jake's like, no, like, knowing what this has the potential to be and also because I was like, this guy is so cool and unique. I want to tell like my girlfriend about him too, because she'll be fascinated by

this. I started asking him questions like basically doing a full interview and Jotting down notes on my phone. So we determined we figured out that his name is Bjorn. He's from he's from Sweden more specifically Gothenburg, Sweden and we're in Gothenburg, Nebraska so so I was like I was kind of like because I asked him what his favorite place that he stops at on his run Well a little side like that we found this out later But it's probably something we should if we're telling the story put it there first. He's done this nine times. Oh, yeah He's times. He's currently on his nice on his nine. Yeah. Yeah. Ran across America nine times.

A couple of small facts for you. The guy is 77 fucking years old. He's 77 years old. His name is Bjorn, which means bear in English. Right. Yeah. He's done it. This is his ninth time. He it takes him about 100 days to do it. So he basically flies into Portland and he said he actually runs to New Jersey. This is what he told us. He's got a website following his whole story.

He journals. He journals about it. Let's see. Oh, yeah. He does it about every two to three years, he said. I asked him how many miles he runs a day and he said like 30, 33. 33 miles a day is what he tries to get. 33 miles a day. Then I'm like, well, what do you eat? Well, like you eat, but like,

before that, I'm like, so I asked him, I'm like, do you have somebody following you? Like, what happens if you roll an ankle or something, you're just on the road? Like, do you have somebody that, like, in a car follows you? He goes, no, I have my cart. Yeah, and he had like a little push cart

that he like pushes in front of him that I guess has like some supplies in it, I'm guessing. I would assume so. Some Slim Jims or something just to keep him going. Fuck. Well, we almost seen one Slim Jim that day, so I't be surprised but that was a funny callback joke cam good job You're welcome. Um, but yeah, he said he basically likes He said he likes Pizza Hut

Because he likes spaghetti spaghetti and like he'll get like China house because of the rice basically he Tries to carb up which I thought was so fucking wild he tries to carve up. Which I thought was so fucking wild because like anybody that lives in America is like if someone was a like pizza hut right you want pizza that's like the last option if we want pizza. Like we will probably be seeing this guy in the news at some point like there's no way and if he hasn't already and it's like he's I would consider a legendary human being and then if he's like Like what do you eat to feel you for this whole thing? He's like pizza hut and then they just it cuts to a pizza hut commercial Anyways, but chili chili cheesy garlic breadsticks Was that a swedish accent? I don't know but yeah, he's just like and it was I was so like bewildered by the whole thing we just went out and

Because there's nothing really else to do where we live besides go play golf on this day. We decided to go play golf and Meet just an absolute specimen. Yeah, he's running across America at 77 years old. He just looks like a small old man just wearing a high vis vest. Yeah, it's so unassuming. But then you go up and like ask him and get it's like, wow, I feel like I'm looking at history. Well, not only that, though, is like we're just playing golf.

We're like, man, it's fucking miserable. This guy's running 33 miles a day through 100 degree heat. Right. And he stops in and got a large coke and a powerade. kept on going as we were leaving. We saw him. We're like there he is. Yeah, he was just like, you

know jogging along jogging along down the side of the highway with his cart. I asked him. I had to ask him. Maybe I shouldn't have maybe this is kind of disrespectful, but I was like, have you seen Forrest Gump? And did it inspire you at all? And he's like, I've seen Forrest Gump. He did do it before I started, because he said he started in 2007,

but it wasn't his inspiration for it. We did ask him why, and he basically just said, because he loves America. To see America. Yeah. And didn't he say this was like kind of the only place you could really do something like this? Yeah. Isn't that what he said? Yeah, he's like, this is the only country that you can just fly in and run across. Because other countries, what, there's just more strict? Yeah, I would assume so.

Hmm. Anyways, so that was that encounter, was fucking awesome And so then so we came home and I was like, how am I going to? Go the rest of the day. How am I gonna function because I got home and I was like, oh I am on a fucking bender right now Like you feel the air conditioner of the house and I it kind of woke me up It helped a little. But I was also like, Oh my fucking God, I could just curl up into a little ball on the couch. I kind of wanted a nap, but I don't know.

I laid down for like five minutes just facedown on my bed, but I threw my swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, swim, my, my Samsung swimsuit on. And then we drove back back got the boat and Headed out to the lake And oh and cam loaded up 20 beers. Yeah, I threw 20 beers in the cooler and you know what we came back with zero Diarrhea

That's a good one But COVID 20 Yeah. That's a good one. But- COVID-20. Wait, you know what I just thought about? Did we save all the empties or do we throw them away? I think they're still in the cooler. We saved the empties. We saved the empties from the golf course,

but not the lake. I think they got thrown away. I think I still grabbed them though. Things got pretty fuzzy at and after the lake. Yeah think they got thrown away. I think I still grab them, though. Things got pretty fuzzy at and after the lake. Yeah. And so you concur. Yeah. Well, I was just like more like fucking exhausted. Like I was drunk, but like I was just like, well, I mean, physical fatigue, not only from the heat, but also your body trying to process all the poison

you're putting in it. And then we're definitely going to. the heat. Yeah. The fatigue not only from the heat but also your body trying to process all the poison you're putting in it and then we're definitely going to so yeah, back to twenty beers. Got to the lake and we went which it was so much **** fun. We had a tube. camera

had a nice boat that pretty fast boat. Yeah, I got on the old tube. He flung me off a couple times Do you think if there's less weight on the tube, it's easier to throw them Like if it was just me but the other times you guys were on it together Yeah Yeah, kinda I guess a lot of it just like kicking them outside the wake and then Your rope will get slack in it and then you straighten back out and it just like the rope just goes Right, but sling them Yeah, and also the the tube didn't have very much air in it. Mm-hmm

Which it was like a dipping underneath the water a little bit sometimes And like when he would fling me out, it would like it'd be like, and I'd be like trying to grab the other side and move my weight to like try to hold it up so I could plane against it when he was whipping me out. But then it was just like it start to flip over. It's like I can't do anything I could hold on to the if the thing flips over I'm not gonna just keep holding on to it and be upside down in the water exactly so you just got to let go and so we eventually put air in the tube but tube actually got a hole in it somehow I think it had your little dick poking it anyways fuck you. Oh, yeah, why don't you tell? So let's talk about the lake for a while we all

We went and picked up one of his friends. I don't know if he wants his name, right? I don't mention his name We went and picked him up His grandparents live on the lake So we just drove up to the dock picked him up aired up the tube And me and him got on the tube Well At one point it was all going swell going swell. We hit a nice big bump and I shifted off

I love when your vocabulary dips in and out of like Like elegant like old English to saying real English words incorrectly well Correct English words, but in like why would he use that word in that sentence? But everything was going swell Everything was absolutely immaculate and then we hit a nice bum and I started shifting down Well the first time it happened I pulled myself up and I just pulled myself up and we hit another bump and I slid all the way down in my pants and underwear.

And you were wearing jeans with boots and your fly was down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice callback. They like you legit. Well, actually, I thought my shorts were literally everything was out Which it almost was but I got under the water fast enough I just let go and I'm sitting there like in the water they're bringing the bottle like a buoy and I'm trying to get They're bringing the boat like a buoy and I'm trying to get Resituated because we had a girl on the boat and I Also there was we're at a public lake with yeah, please and a bunch of guys and it's like, you know I don't want them to be meat gazers. That's a call

But I wasn't as comfortable as the guy at the golf course with my dick just hanging out let's call back my school I Am sitting there and I'm like trying to pull them up while my fucking underwear like completely rolled Like all the way down. So I'm like in like the elastic band like rolled the whole thing rolled up They like we're like that thick but all the way down by my knees and my shorts were rolled in up So I'm like in the water put your mic up to your mouth. I'm in the water Unrolling my fucking shorts And it took me a while because well I had a lot to drink and so I'm just sitting in the water

boats are going by cam is the textbook example of loss of motor function when under the influence like if there was a like at the police district when they're like training people on what to look for they just pull up a picture of can like trying to pull his ID out of his wallet or something. They're like, see how he's struggling to do that. That still gets stuck. Okay. I can't get it out when I'm sober.

So I don't want to hear it. I know. I know. Wink at beach. So I finally got back on and everybody else wanted to go to it being so he took turns. I was being the flag guy. I was go tubing so he took turns I was being the flag guy I was gonna say girl but I was being the flag guy but you're a guy yeah and then the tube eventually just got to the point where it wouldn't hold

air fast enough or long enough to go tubing so he took it back dropped it off hung out Jake's wham across the cove just to see if he could Like an absolute action movie hero Yeah, and you just get out of the water like Baywatch just fucking flapping his hair back. It was like 30 yards And he saved the kid that was drowned it did right it did occur to me This is where this is the story where intoxicated guy drowns in lake. That thought briefly crossed my mind

as I was getting ready to swim back. So I was like, what if, God forbid, something happens and I am intoxicated. Yeah. It's something about being in water though that it makes you feel like you're not even drunk Why is that? It's the change in temperature

like you think you're so cool that it's like have you ever been like fucking wasted and then just Really turn the shower on cold and jump in it and you're like instantly just like I guess where you can literally feel the drunk just wash out of you for like wonder why that is though I think it's a sudden adjustment in your body temperature. That's why I like hot tubs fuck you up Because you're hot and your body starts to process that sure well I think when you get in the water and it's colder Well, I thought it was because when you're in a hot tub you sweat more and then it just dehydrates you more see I would Say that but Mexico was the same exact way.

Because when we went for our honeymoon, like I'd be in the cool pool. And it was just like I could drink all fucking day. And I wasn't like real fucked up, like I was fucked up. Then when you got out, you're like, well, I got out and I was like. I need to go home and dig a nap for about an hour yeah so but I mean I don't know it's something about just something about being on a lake ice cold beer in your hand riding on the back of the boat mm-hmm just throwing beers open and just making half of it in your

mouth just letting the breeze whip it all in your face yeah burning your eyes but then jumping in the water and washing it all out exactly so then we just went and kind of parked the boat and just got out and swam along over and tosses the line that kind of thing right yeah yeah so then eventually this is like coming towards. So we parked and we were just kind of hanging out in this little area swimming. Jake's throwing mud at me. Like a fucking toddler. But so then at this point, I think this is I was also trying to hit a log on the side

yeah for about 45 minutes and I was just for 45 minutes yeah I threw it like three times I was just I waited 15 minutes in between each throw I was just sitting on the bottom and we were in a spot where like you know like you're sitting on the bottom water up here so I was sitting so water was like right here. So it felt pretty good. We were just hanging out. They brought strawberries and we were throwing them to each other,

trying to catch them in our mouths. And then they would start just floating in the water when we wouldn't get them. And a couple people were just grabbing them and eating them out of the lake and I'm like now I'm not a germaphobe but oh my god they were tasty I'm sure they were I'm sure you didn't taste bacteria going into your body but by god I'm sure there was probably but you're like you got home you're like, I don't feel so well, I think it's I think it's that one. Yeah, you're bomb

I took no, I'm just kidding. I didn't do any of that this time, but I So then there's reads there I'm like I want to go see if there's fish back in the reeds So I just I mean you were just in full form at this point. Yeah, yeah. So I just I really started this kind of cut off. And I think they are. Because I mean, just the ball bag. I'm a man spread it so hard and I'm wearing short shorts and fucking you can see where the sun definitely wasn't hitting me yesterday. So there's some cattails.

Yeah, cattails. And I wanted to see So there's some cat tales. Yeah, cat tales. And I wanted to see if there's any fish in there. So I kind of just like fucking Turtle Man, you know, live action, you know what I'm talking about? Have you been watching that lately? Cause you were quoting that. No, I just came up. So what's the last time you watched an episode for?

I don't fucking know. Have you ever? Yes. Probably when I was like 10, 12. Because you were kind of quoting that a little bit yesterday and I'm like, I wonder if Cam's on a turtle man cake. So anyways. That was just a genuine question.

It didn't need to be funny. No, I haven't. But now that I just brought it up, I kind of want to. But so I started like just kind of fucking crawling through the cattails. And then I found a big log and I'm like just kind of fucking crawling through the cattails and Then I found a big log and I'm like, you know what? I want to take this log home with me. I'm taking this long Have you seen the I fished it out of the cat, you know what it reminds me of what have you seen the Family Guy Star Wars parody?

episodes Then I'm not gonna give an example for those of you who've seen it you probably know what I'm talking what I'm getting at yeah she got there no okay you got some extra nuggets make sure you chew it into the mics. ASMR. It's not very loud. There we go. That's much better. Oh my god. So you found a log.

I wanted to take home. But it was like as long as the boat. Yeah, so. And we figured out that that wrapped it wasn't gonna fit in the boat So then me and Jake were like, you know what? Let's just swim it across and we got probably like 30 feet away from where we just were like nah Like have you seen the end of jaws? No, never mind you guys There's basically a part where the two guys are like on a piece of wreckage floating together in the ocean and that's kind of what I felt like I thought we could like paddle it across the whole lake out into the middle of the lake. Yeah, yeah. But then we didn't.

Are those getting cold. Yeah, why did I decide to start eating? I don't know. Anyways. Well, and then. Cameron was our captain, so he wasn't drinking. So then I kind of felt we were for the record, it was just sitting there. So for the record, we were tying one on, getting drunk, being loud, whatever. But we were being responsible. The driver of the boat was not drinking when we were tubing. If someone ever fell off,

we held the flag up in the air, even if there was nobody else on the lake. And we were wearing life jackets too. So we weren't, I mean, we were not breaking any laws. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were being 100% safe. So. Aside from trying to moon the entire lake residents.

Then I decided that I'd love to give Cameron some cattails You were calling them flowers. Yeah So I got him and you did take a bite on one of the forbidden glizzies. I did I did do that How did it taste like shit? Like I just took a fucking mouthful of sawdust and just shoved it right in my fucking mouth But so I went and got him a handful. And then I decided, what's one handful? Let's give him like a whole fucking bear hug of fucking cat tails.

So I just started grabbing cat tails and I would just like stand up and just fucking jump and pull back and just flat on my back. And it was pretty fun. I was just, it's not like we had a ball or anything. So all we had was mud. Everybody was just kind of rolling laughing. That's what I am. I bring comedic relief to everybody's lives.

I know you're so great. And then, yeah, pretty much that was about the end of it. We all kind of started getting hungry and we're like. Well, it was like fucking eight o'clock. Yeah. It's getting to the point in the year where it stays bright for so long. Like, is it five?

And it's like, it's eight. Yeah. Like it was getting late. Well, and Cameron was also getting hungry and it's not like he does. I was getting hungry. He didn't have beer to hold him off like we did like we held ourselves off for a long time Yeah, I mean here

So I'm like, yeah, let's pack it up. So he drove over to the boat Cameron's friend back to pick up a trailer down Got back and we went to go see my dad and then came home. You're skipping over the fact that as we were going to drop off the friend, we were driving by a house and some of you may know about this story, but they're like, hey, you know that, that murder suicide that took place? Yeah, yeah. That's the house.

And I was like, oh, yeah. That's that's the house. And I was like. Oh, fuck. That's that's quite a landmark. You got there. Yeah. So then we had but we had a little conversation about that. But this isn't a dramatic or political podcast by any means. But. So then I'm like, huge thing that kind of made national news in Nebraska. So, yeah. So if you are aware of made national news in Nebraska. So yeah. So if you are aware of that story, just know we were like mere feet away

from that house at one point and it kind of had an eerie feeling to it. Kind of by but so do we skip over a huge part? What? To golf course. So the liquor started flowing. And what what did we skip over? Me and Jake bogeyed. We bogeyed. So we had a shotgun of beer. A couple times. And I was like, I was like, Fuck it. Let's detonate him. Oh, this little point. So

I'm sitting there with my wand, hitting it, hitting it, hitting it, and it just got a little pee hole in it. I tried to do one. I see you. Smasher, just keep going, bitch. I went. I fucking cussed. And I was like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm And I was like, uh, I'm can cussed it's like go don't be a pussy and I just grabbed that one. Let me see it

And I just smashed it and the can split perfectly right in the middle no way no way right in the middle no way no way I wish we had it somewhere like if we have it somewhere I'm gonna try to look for it after and then we there's no way we had to throw away I was gonna say I could maybe try to find a picture of it but yeah it like video of it. I do God dude, I was I mean I was fucked up yesterday May I'll try to edit in a video if I can remember but which I probably won't but So Yeah, we did that and So yeah the lake day that was a lot of fun. It was getting kind of late. We're getting hungry, but

We wanted to stop by Cam's dad's house to say hi So we did then we went to the store and We got to the store at like 850 we got there like at 9 Yeah, and I didn't need to get about it We still need to get a couple items because we were making tricked-out jacks So for those of you that don't know what tricked-out jacks is cuz I can't remember if we've talked about it on here or not You take a Jack's pizza

Just like a $3 frozen pizza Then you get like hop that motherfucker up right tune it out you trick it out you get like a pound of ground beef and you brown it and then you You can add more pepperoni too. If you want. I typically just get like a pepperoni Jack's and then a pound of ground beef Are you rubbing that on your dick? What are you doing? Yeah, Okay, so you put the ground beef on and you add like some cream cheese and some more like mozzarella cheese and It's It's good sober

But when you're 20 beers deep, oh my god, dude It was the most gluttonous moment it was ever when they done they were done we had two of them and Me and Jake started we housed them blazing sad. I was I was surprised how much you ate Dude, I didn't eat anything all day. I know And I was fucking psycho Starving food makes me sick on Saturdays. You've got my dad's old mentality And so yeah, I didn't eat anything in that fucking pizza

So we cute up my proudest moment, but I Loki like a decent job eating that pizza I Just want you to know. Don't ASMR me about your chubs. So the queued up Blazing Saddles, which is a nice, wholesome, um, well informed movie, a movie that you wouldn't expect any less of us watching of Cam to watch of Cam to watch. Um, fucked up. Of Cam to watch. So yeah, I was starting to get pretty, my eyes were getting heavy. I was drinking some liquid IV out of a wine glass because I was trying to be elegant.

Put it over ice. It was nice. We got rid of all those liquid IVs too, by the way. Yeah, because we smashed two last night. Could you imagine how bad our hangover would be if we hadn't had any of those? Yeah, we'd probably have the worst headache. My neck was kind of dude, my little kind of sore as a motherfucker. And I don't know why if it's from golf or tubing or swimming or what? Probably going to stop the recording. Maybe not.

Who is it? Liener. Oh. Hello, you're on the Grass Studies podcast. Oh, shit. Why do you... I didn't know you were recording. Sorry, babe. That's okay. I actually don't even think it stopped the recording on my phone. Oh, okay. Did you answer on your watch? I... yes. So, can I ask you just a really quick question? Yes. What do you hate about the tortellini with the pesto and the mozzarella and the tomatoes? Why do you hate that meal? Hate? Well, why do you not like that meal? I do like it.

I thought you didn't like it. I do. Red. Well, I don't remember not liking it. The tortellini with the pesto and the tiny tomatoes and the mozzarella. Yeah, I don't mind that meal. You sure? Yeah. And then you're gonna make it for him to go, this **** sauce. I'm not gonna say that. What'd you say? If we have that salmon burgers and is that alright? **** Yeah.

Okay. I might do that. Sounds good. I'll probably be leaving here pretty soon. Alright, sounds good. Love you. Love you. and that is how you keep a good relationship with your girlfriend ladies and gentlemen We're not editing any of that out by the way, no your specimen I do kind of want to double-check and make sure we are still recording

Even though it looks like we are here Hello what Hello what? Yeah, so I don't think it matters, but yeah, this one's mine. Don't touch my mic. My beer is gone. I don't touch my robot dick. So where were we? We came home, had Jack's pizza, went to went to bed. I mean See, but when I pretty much wrapped up a pizza it was so bad

We'd literally Jake would grab us two slices of pop I'd be like you around he would eat his fast Yeah, but he goes I wasn't like quite done with mine yet so instead of being like yeah Oh, I'll just get mine in a second I'm gonna finish this slice. No, I would just take a slice and just like fucking Well, I gotta make room for the next two. So you just jam it in your guzzar Yeah, and then I just hand my plate to him and it was just like ongoing and I just like couldn't stop eating and then

it got to the point where Jake brought me another two slices and I ate one slice and I'm like I can't if I eat this other slice I considered myself to be on a mancation you know I had the weekend off from work so I was I was really cutting loose so we kind of pulled out all the stops and it was kind of a blast not gonna lie it was definitely a gluttonous weekend, but it's one thing if you're doing this like every weekend versus if it's once every blue moon, you know, everyone deserves to cut loose every once in a while. Yeah.

But the stuff that we were doing, if you were to do. Every day. Every day or even every week. Whew. We. You would put a would you would damage your body. There was a guy in town that just passed away and he was like kind of a bad alcoholic. And with a light in the mood, can he went in for his checkup? And the doctor said that that was the best liver he's ever seen in his life.

Wait, so he didn't die from alcohol consumption. No What are you I don't know But his liver was the cleanest liver The doctors ever seen and this guy just drinks vodka straight So do you think he's like a medical anomaly or do you think it's like a genetics thing? No, like they think the reason why is because he would only drink vodka and only water. He never had soda. Nothing.

But soda doesn't get processed in your liver, does it? I don't know. But he would get like fucked up and all day when he was at work, he would just drink gallons and gallons and gallons of water. Then he'd get home and drink a handle of vodka or what? Yeah. Was he an alcoholic?

I don't know. He just drank a lot of vodka. I don't think he was an alcoholic, but I did say he was an alcoholic, sorry, but I don't know. I didn't know the guy. I just found this out, so. Which was pretty cool, so.

Are you sure he wasn't you? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've been to the doctor in about 14 years, and I'm just kidding. I had to go to the doctor pretty regularly in Lincoln, cause I'd always get sick, and I'd get real sick, so. But yeah, so then we're just kind of hanging out and the last time me and Jake got all fucked up and try to watch a movie Jake kind of got pissed off at me because

that's not true I was just I would start to fall asleep and he goes hey don't fall asleep and like I'm not not and't fall asleep. And I'm like, I'm not, not. And at one point I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore so I was just out and Jake goes, well, we'll just watch this movie later. We were also watching the fucking Hateful Eight and it's like five hours long. It's not five hours, but it's a long movie.

So yeah, last night I was like sitting here and if you don't know Blazing Saddles they say one word very regularly. What word? No. Oh, okay. I didn't know. I wanted you to help remind me. I was like kind of on my phone to help keep me awake and every time I was kind of not

watching every time they said this I was like kind of on my phone to help keep me awake. And every time I was kind of not watching, every time they said this, I was like. Oh, yeah. So. And then Jay, I know I'm interested. I'm so fucking tired. I have to go to bed. I mean, I was my eyes were heavy. And I was like, fine. So which I wasn't like, fine, I guess, if you want to go to fucking sleep. I was like, fucking thank God you said that's good.

Oh, really? You wanted to go to bed, too? I was so fucking tired. And so we were on a fucking sick one yesterday, dude. I got to bed. I talked to Bailey a little bit. Who literally just got home from Vegas. Yeah, just like walked in the door like an hour ago We're like you want to listen to us tell a podcast and she's just like I'm going to bed She had to get up at like three in the morning to come here. So I home But Bailey called us last night. I FaceTimed her and you were hounding her Because you wanted to bet.

Yeah, through her. Yeah, yeah. So I was in Vegas. You're like, I will then buy you I will then buy you 50 bucks and put $50 on black right now on roulette. Yeah. So she went up to a virtual roulette table. You're like, no, no, no, no, no. It's got to be a roulette table. She's like, I don't know how to do that so I Lost all of her money

Which should technically be yours because you said you'd Venmo her yeah, but uh, but she said I didn't have to I didn't we're married So her money's my money and my money's my money, right? Basically, it's all your money and she can kind of have some of it. No, I'm just kidding But yeah, so's all your money and she can kind of have some of it. No, I'm just kidding. But yeah, so she just got back and. Now I bet she's probably sleeping, if I'm being quite honest. But that's pretty much we woke up this morning. That was pretty much our weekend. Yeah, we we woke up this morning.

Jake walked by and his boxers and I was like I Meanwhile I was You what? So last night I would wake up and I'm like fuck. I'm so fucking thirsty So I walked out here and got a glass of water and just pounded it like You know like when people say you're hungover or anything like that, you're supposed to just sip something because you don't want to lose your lunch.

I think that's if you're like, have the stomach flu. Oh, well same shit. So, for the eternity of the night, I would just like go to sleep for an hour, wake up, walk to the bathroom where I sat my glass down next to the sink, fill her up and just pound a pint. And then I'd walk back to bed and go to sleep for an hour, wake up, walk to the bathroom where I sat my glass down next to the sink, fill her up, and just pound a pint. And then I'd walk back to bed and go to bed. You know? And take a piss and... And then at one point, I woke up at like four

in the morning, I'm like, fucking A! I don't even have a hangover, that's weird, because I drank a lot yesterday. And I stood up and I'm like, I don't have a hangover because I'm still fucked up yeah what does this have to do with me walking by my boxers I'm getting there so okay I woke up this morning like Jake look behind his boxers and I was like and I typically when I'm drunk I like to sleep with nothing on Because whenever I'm drunk I get so fucking hot when I sleep like when you wet the bed What in the RV, but it was actually just a pool of sweat that was basically like you wet the bed But yeah from sweating so much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I just get so fucking hot

that I was just like I Would like take all the covers off and then I'd be freezing fucking cold and I pull them back on and wake up an hour Later, so I'm like fucking sweating profusely, right? So I woke up this morning and I'm like I have have to go fucking take an ice cold shower right now. That's gonna just fucking cure it. What time was this? Like seven. Seven.

So I woke up, got a nice cold shower, went, laid in the bed for a little bit, and I'm like, I gotta feed the dog. Fed the dog. And then I was just laying in the bed on my phone so hung over that I fucking shut the curtains. I'm like now it's pitch black in here. It's time to go to bed.

Well, then Jake wakes up comes stumbling by the room with boxes on and we don't even say anything to each other. We just look at each other like We both just look at each other kind of like a slight grin appears on our faces and we're like And you're like, you know I'm like dude, so I was just laying in bed and Jake I didn't know if Jake was gonna go lay back in bed or actually up. So I was just hanging out and then Jake walked out to the living room and he goes, what do you want to do? Police simulator or finish blazing saddles?

So then we played police simulator for two hours or something and Jake goes, I am so fucking hungry. I'm going to go get us 11 o'clock. I'm going to go get us. That's when we normally take lunch at work and. Where I live, there's like two fucking places you can go. You know, Rosa or McDonald's. Mike, you want McDonald's? You're like, yeah. But I was to the point where I'm like. A double cheeseburger sounds so fucking good, but I don't know if I could handle the grease right now.

So I was like, just grab a ten-piece nugget and Jake went into that took my dog for a ride Took Ruger for a ride. I was I was living my small town fantasy Where I'm riding around with my dog in my truck going to McDonald's And is my other truck let my dog hang his book and ears flopping out the window It was fun We uh plus I don't always get a c-ruger and I've considered myself as dog uncle Yeah, yeah, so uncle Jake was taking him for a little ride. So I stayed here kept playing police simulator

We had blazing saddles just really inspired you yeah We had some blazing saddles just really inspired you. Yeah, we had some nuggets hung out, played some golf. And then we're like, do you want to record a podcast? Yeah. And then we started recording a podcast. And then we talked about. I'm just kidding. That leads us to now. Yeah, we talked about it was a fucking sweet weekend. It was And it was the reason why I liked it so much is it was so simple. There was nothing like it was a little education like yesterday Jake was like just So bewildered at the fact that I was like, you know what we're gonna go fucking boating

And we just ended up going boating We were literally planning on going golfing, coming home and doing what we're doing now, recording the podcast, watching a movie, playing some golf. Like I said, I was kind of of the idea that a majority of our time would be spent inside, just kind of hanging out and playing Xbox

because of how hot it was. And which I did bring my swimsuit in case we would do some sort of water activity. Like I didn't know if you had a wateruit in case we would do some sort of water activity like I didn't know if you had a water park or if we would get some kiddie pools and fill them up with ice and fucking laying them or I don't know what that is something you guys will have to comment because we thought about doing an ice bath podcast I think that'd be pretty fun it'd be like a five minute podcast because we'd be like I gotta get to get out. No. OK, 10 minutes.

Well, we don't got to have it like freezing fucking cold. Just take a cold bath. I don't know. You know what? I would really love to. I would really love to do like a pool podcast. Like in the water, like a summer themed outdoor pool. And we can put all this electrical equipment and computer and phone near water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Sounds really smart. Did I tell you that my wife and her league partner are starting to vlog

their golf around? You did. Are they posting it? I don't know. That's something to ask her. I don't know But she showed me the video And I was just like You're like you cannot post this Nobody can see this. I was like no you were probably a supportive boyfriend husband They're just like well. We just took a six on a part three so I'm like okay. That's not bad I could easily do that yeah, and I'm just like Well, it's actually kind of something really cool lately. I haven't even told you that so Bailey's been really into golf and so like sometimes she'll have weeks where she's not super busy at work and

Bless her heart she's like I want to go golfing I'm like I bless her heart. She's like, I want to go golfing. I'm like, I just got off work. I just want to fucking lay on the couch, which normally we're going golfing, which normally if your spouse was like, I want to go golfing with you, your dick would fly out of your pants. Kind of like that. Yeah. But because back. Yeah. Because I'm like down. But yeah, but then every once in a while, it's like you have to be saying it when I'm dead tired and like the only time I wouldn't want to go right now. Yeah. And

every time she wants to go golfing, it's either rainy and shitty or just like blistering fucking hot. Well, after today, I think it's supposed to cool off quite a bit. I fucking hope so. But it is I think supposed to be rainy. So just like you said, but yeah, so she's been doing that killing it playing some golf. Well, I've been playing our golf. Life's pretty decent besides the fact that's like

So hot and Nebraska is so humid you like walk out the front door and it's like somebody just fucking punched you in the gut It is it is like you're walking like you can Feel the air you're walking through. Yeah, you can just feel like the grass like it's like the life in your body Just wants to like fucking fall out of your ass, Right. It just literally sucks the energy out of you. It was so hot yesterday that. The air conditioner wasn't working in the clubhouse and you walked in the clubhouse and like, oh, my fucking. It's like a freezer.

Feels so fucking good. But. It was just it was a wild weekend. It was fun. And I liked it because it was just so simple. Like we we played golf, went to a lake and ate pizza. Had we just spent an hour talking about it as if it was like as if we went to Vegas. Yeah, like a full vacation.

It was it was I considered it a little vacation getaway. But I would like I came. I just love doing this shit like. We literally could have done nothing besides just sit here, drink beer and play video games that I don't know. Yeah, look, and a wasn't it made might have been a little bit more boring because it wasn't quite as much to do, but yeah. And still would have found a way to have a blast.

At some point, yeah, you would spend like, yeah, fuck it. I really thought about going to the pool, but they had that swim meet So right we'll have to check that out sometime. This definitely won't be the last time I come here So this probably won't be the last time you see us recording from the casting couch, but yeah, I love the casting Yeah, yep. That was our weekend. Um, I hope you guys Enjoyed hearing about it. I certainly enjoyed doing it. Now you have a two hour drive. And this morning, waking up.

It was worth it. It was. It was definitely worth it. It wasn't the worst hangover I've ever had, definitely. But it is. I did drink a lot, but it was over a period of time. Like I said, it was kind of a two edged sword because the heat, I feel like would make you sweat it out. But it also since you were sweating it out, you were also like dehydrated, getting dehydrated.

But we were having those liquid IVs. So I think it offset it enough where it's almost as if we got perfectly fucked up. It was so like It was awesome cuz like this entire weekend was just like spur of the moment fucking plan Jake goes I got some new tires on my pickups. I can come down to Gothenburg one of these days ago What are you doing this week? And he goes coming to Gothenburg. All right, and I go I asked him I was like what what is the one thing you want for supper? I'll make you the one thing you want for supper

And he goes checked tricked out Jacks. I'm like. Well, because when we did that little movie night where we watched the hateful eight, that's literally what we ate was tricked out Jack. Yeah, and we just hung out. And so I was just like, fuck it. But who made the tricked out Jacks last night?

Well, you did. You were so banged up, dude. You were like, I'm gonna get in the shower. I was like, okay you go get in the shower I'm just gonna fucking make the food because What the food needs to get made? Yeah, and you need to go take care of yourself Well, I also had to feed the dog too cuz yeah you had some stuff like the dog usually I was Trying to feed the dog around seven what?

I always try to usually feed the dog around seven. What? Yeah. I always try to usually feed the dog around seven. Oh, okay. And it was nine o'clock, so I'm like, and then the food's gonna be done. I usually try to feed myself before seven o'clock. So I wanna eat, but it's one of those deals that I was just so banged up. I was like, I just wanna get all my responsibilities

out of the way, and then I can just sit on theed up. I was like I just want to get all my responsibilities out of the way and Then I can just sit on the couch and be a degenerate Well You made it to the other side You were degenerate all weekend, but we did it together. We had a great time doing it. I had a lot of fun I hope you all enjoyed hearing a recapturing of it. You can all see yourself there Hope you all enjoyed hearing a recapturing of it. You can all see yourself there. Definitely would recommend getting a boat and some cool friends. And this episode is sponsored by Bushlight Lime.

Just kidding, it's not. But we did consume quite a bit of those. Could you imagine if Bushlight sponsored us? That'd be so fucking amazing. I would probably be 300 pounds and Dive alcohol poisoning Red Red thank you guys all for watching green

Thank you guys all for watching Spotify and Apple podcast for audio only go subscribe to YouTube leave a comment Like it if you liked it if you didn't like it dislike it Have you ever heard a channel tell you to dislike their video? That's why we're built different out here give us some feedback if you do want to see like a pool podcast It would have to be something we'd have to think about and how we're gonna do it but I was thinking about vlogging this trip, but I don't know, I just ended up not doing it. Cause you know, I wanted to just rather focus on having fun than trying to like,

not that it's too much work, but it's kind of work in a way. I have to like piss so bad, but I feel like I'm really gonna go pee in the toilet and there's gonna be head from beer on my piss. I'm not even lying. I feel like I just have a bush light tap attached to my body right now until next time if you get too hot you can always unzip your fly nice call back.