Grass Daddies Podcast - Episode 88: Working the Waste Management Phoenix Open

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

In this episode of the Grass Daddies Podcast, Ben and Nolan achieve official Grass Daddies status as they join Jake to recap their week spent in Scottsdale Arizona where the three volunteered on the TPC grounds crew. Straight lines, interesting characters, and a once in a lifetime opportunity to help set up for the greatest show on turf. SHANKITGOLF.COM Code:grass Follow us on Social Media! Youtube: grassdaddiespodcast Instagram: @grassdaddiespodcast @kamdenwellmann @jakekillham Tik Tok: @grassdaddiespodcast @kandenwellmann (yes that's how it's spelled) @jakekillham11

What's the analogy? You're just strip mining and you find diamonds. It's like the... We were digging for China and we found pairs. That's what happened. That's awesome. That's the intro clip. Oh my God.

Oh. I'll be here all night. Dude, did you, before we start, when you submitted your test for the spray thing, did you get the score like right then and there? No. They like mailed it to me. Oh, okay. I don't even think I heard about it.

Gabe was basically like, you passed. I knew you would. And I was like, oh, sick. Okay. I didn't ever even saw it. I didn't get it on the screen. And I was like, fuck, I failed. And then I had to take a survey.

And I was like, God damn it. So I took the survey. And then I didn't get it again. And I was like, it's over. And then I went out and she had like this sheet printed out and all that stuff. What did you score? An 80. Nice.

Not bad. Welcome to the, what about his hands? Podcast. I'm Jake and I'm a grass daddy. And I'm being joined by Ben and Nolan. Yellow. Usual suspects. TPC Scott Stale employees.

Yeah. And dare I say, I think you guys have achieved grass daddy status. I mean, you were once proclaimed a grassunk. I can't remember what you proclaimed. Maybe grass cazo. I can't remember. I can't remember, but I'm right here and now going to proclaim you. as grass daddies.

Thank you. So I will be changing the intro. From now on, there's a new way to do it when you're a grass daddy. What is that? So I'll say, I'm Jake. That's Ben and Nolan and we are. And then you guys will, in conjunction, say, the grass daddies. There we go.

Okay. Or you can take turns doing it. You can harmonize. Can we do like NFL intros? You sure? Ben Holdaway, six foot. Grass daddy. Out of Montevista Christian and a.

high school and I'm a grass daddy. Grass study. What about the funny one? I'm on Antoine Rendell-Lell. I'm Tony Gonzalez. Yeah. The reason why these guys have been promoted to grass study status is because, and if you couldn't tell by the title of the episode and what's being displayed up here, we were

on the agronomy team to set up for the waste management Phoenix open. Holy shit. We did it. We achieve official grass daddy status. Yeah, we have our cards. Yeah, we've got our G cards. We got our G cards for sure. We're going to basically get into the whole week.

We were down there for a week, like I said, setting up for it. In other exciting news for the podcast itself, I don't know if you noticed how shiny this baby is, but we just got our import from Guadalajara, Mexico this morning. As you well know, the last mini-fridge croaked. And I had to put in a new order, scoured the web, if you will, the black market. And we did find a replacement mini-fridge. And not easy to find. They're, they're, yeah.

The ones with magic in them? Yeah. That's why I had to go to Mexico. It's a dime a dozen. No, that's the wrong way to use that, I think. Well, and that's just where I found it, you know, not, you know, it's not as regulated down there. I heard you can find them in the Swiss Alps too, but that's a fucking journey. Right.

It's a little bit closer. Yeah. Yeah. We were already in Phoenix. Right. That wasn't easy. Exactly. We were down in Arizona.

You know, I kind of asked around, pulled a couple favors. Hit a whistle. Had to hit a whistle, had to flash the inside the ropes badge. Yep. And got some word where we might find one. And we did secure one. Just came in this morning. Plugged her in.

And I'm hoping to God we got stuff in there. But before we opened it. you might be thinking yourself, what about those magnets that were probably displayed? Well, oh shit. Your boy didn't forget about those.

I was thinking about the magnets, too. It's like this does look a little empty. We got the Moa. And Dad's against weed. Yep. And then the pennant. Or what is it? Yeah.

What is it called? That's a pennant. Penet. I forgot about the magnets, but I will say, I do believe that I now have a waste management one to add to this. Do you really?

No shit. I got it for free on the first day. Oh, you did, didn't you? It's going to be so hard not to do that the whole time. You're donating to me. You magnetizing me. All right. So with that being said, you're in the player two seat, Ben.

Go ahead, give her a knock, see what's inside. Try not to unplug it. Oh. Do you think you can hit it? Nope. You can't hit it? Nope. But I do see some silver bullets.

I taught you how to do that. Coor's light, you know. Bang. And the mini fridge knows, obviously, but I don't know if you know, or you know, apparently Coor's Light was the most sold beer at the waste management. Really? So it's only fitting if we... It's what Google A.I says, but Google A.I is right. 25% of the time.

Player too, I thought I saw something in the door there when you opened it. There's something else in there? I caught the top of something that wasn't a silver. I mean, caught the top. Can I... But I guess we can bring them out now. Imagine this guy cracking a beer and not to... What is the little bottle?

That says rumplements. Oh, that's as cold as the silver bullets are. Oh, my God. I don't think I've ever had rumpled. Luckily, there's three of them. Now, will you walk me through what to expect with this? Because I've never taken... Delicious.

Teethaste. Oh, it's like minty? You ever done beanboozle? Yeah. You ever had the blue minty jelly bean? I think so. What's that? It's just mint. It's good.

It's good. It's good. Not as good as it would be if it was frozen. Yeah. But it's kind of lukewarm. Guadalajara Mexico is hot. And so. It is.

Right. So. So. Uh, this guy just will not cheers. This guy doesn't want to cheers. I can't reach over there. I'm not sure you can. Oh.

That, my friend. Whoa. It's pretty good, right? It's way better cold. What is the, what is the stigma with this? People are just like, oh, my God. Oh. And that's at its worst.

When it's frozen, it becomes like a syrup almost. Like it's a little thick. It's really good. I mean, Spencer almost died when he took a shot of it. I forgot about that. He was going, oh, my God. Yeah, we thought he was having a... He was like...

Someone almost called him an ambulance. Did that go in? No. Okay. Someone almost called him an ambulance. Remember that? All too well. You know what's really good?

That makes with Fireball. A little fireman. I was just going to... I say those are the two things that I almost got Yeager because our bowling guy subs for us sometimes bowling. Got it for what? For this. Oh, to drink before? No.

He says if you combine the two. Like we would have drank it before. Whoa. The drink he was talking about was that Yeager and Fireball, I think. No. Fireball was a part of that equation. Yeah. Dog, no.

So what he was saying was you mix rumplements and Yeager. I like Jaeger too I do too I should have done it I do too it's all right we should have done it he should have done it

they should have done it they should have done it I can't trust them as far as you can throw them so we went to Phoenix so I guess briefly how this was set up or how this came apart was

our new superintendent at the course, came from Phoenix and has some connections down there, actually knows one of the assistants at TPC Scottsdale, and basically was like, hey, talked with our general manager, our director, would you guys be down to, like, go set up for a PGA event? We're like, fuck yeah. Originally wanted to send us somewhere in California. Well, no, it was originally Scottsdale.

And then it wouldn't flip to Lakeinta. Oh, because it might not have worked? No, because they wanted to go to like turf conference or something like that. Or trade show. What was it? Something like that. Yeah. There was the GCSAA going on, I think, conference going on as the waste management was running.

Oh. Well. It's like in Orlando. Which, why are you having a turf conference with the waste management going on? I mean. Yeah. I don't know. But then he was like me and did you want to go to that?

Right. So they were going to go there and send us to Lakinner. I think it was for a different tournament. The PGA West course. Something like that, yeah. And then they decided that they wanted to send us that so they flipped back. So originally it was waste management. Got it flipped and then it flipped back.

I was never so, like, more excited to hear that it was off that one in California. Yeah. Really? I can't believe that the first idea of this was brought up without you. It was at bowling one night. And he just asked us, he was like, would you guys want to work the Mace management? And we're like, would we want to work them? Yeah.

Well, he said, he brought it up to me. He was like, would you work a PGA event? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, I kind of want to try to send you guys somewhere in California. So maybe he was trying to keep it a secret to surprise. But that's just all I knew. I mean, he brought it up to us in, what, like November, October? Like, it was, end of November.

It was way early. I've been waiting for this for so long. Right. Like, it got to the point where there was so much, like, radio silence that we were kind of like to. somebody gonna bring it up to him like are we still on for that it was yeah it was a whole journey getting there but we got there yeah so basically in order to volunteer at one of these events you have to submit an application um to be a volunteer and it has to it'll either get approved or denied i wonder like how many applications get sent in there's got to be a lot right hundreds you would i would think more and who looks over those to determine yes or no Well, I feel like there's probably enough people that apply that you can have a filter just straight up. It's like little to no experience. Just throw it out immediately.

Right. Or not in school. Well, and also I wonder if certain it is like, because there was people from other countries. I wonder if they're like, we want to get, we don't want to just only have people from Texas. You know what I mean? Like they probably want to try to spread it out. I've been there before, just automatically get pushed through. Yeah, maybe.

I think they do. I'd figure they'd do that, because I figured you'd want people who... That was a question we should have asked while they were there. I mean, we got the invite back. Like I said, I would be fine with just going back to that every year. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's like the peak working like in the stadiums. And I would be completely...

It was fine, just doing that every year. I've never worked in an even close to an environment like that. Okay, yeah. There's nowhere else you can. Right. I don't know. I just, I feel. We'll get there.

We'll get there. So, yes, we put in applications. We had an in. Our applications got pushed through. We got accepted. And essentially, we were off to Phoenix. Got our flights paid for by our club. The hotel for the week was provided by TPC.

We got there. What day would that have been? Sunday. Sunday. February 1st. Was it first? Because it started the second. We were there for nine days.

We got back. February 2nd, the 8th. And we showed up the first. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Yep. I was going to say, because I think we got back the 9th, right? We got back 5th.

We got back on Sunday. 5 days before Valentine's Day. Because we had the full week. We got back Monday. Yeah, Monday the 9th, right? 10th, 11th, 12, 13. What was it? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because we worked Sunday. So we were there for nine days. Yeah. So we flew in on the first of February. Direct flight, got our shit, got moved in, and basically had a preemptive meeting. And we actually found out what our morning jobs were going to be well before. Like Saturday.

Yeah, yeah. The Saturday before. We got told that we were mowing green. I was hammered when I got that text. You had just taken the fucking BBC. I did. That sounded crazy. Down the goet.

The, the, the, the buzz ball. Straight down the throat, dude, wet ass throat. Wet, fuck. The buzz ball, the beatbox, and the cut water. That BBC was chugging in me. Chugging me. Was I chugging the BBC? Hugging them.

I think I was. So we were told we were mowing greens. And that's basically. That's basically all we knew going into this. Yeah. We're volunteering on the grounds crew. And we're mowing greens. So we get there Sunday.

Someone will want to take over. So I don't want to talk the whole time. Yeah, I mean, we should back it up and start with probably the flights out of the airport. Like that morning, we showed up early and our flight got delayed, what, four times? We were supposed to fly out super early, like 9.30 or something? And we didn't end up leaving until 1130 or something like that. Expensive airport. tap.

That was really expensive. Yeah. I forgot about it. Yeah. So what was, because you hit, you hit the record. The record. Well, between those three. Well, I had the, no, he had the highest tab. Oh, you did?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. By like 20 or 30 bucks. That was, what was it? Well, you don't have to say, but what was it? The airport tap? Yeah. Like, $120, I think.

Yeah. I think I spent like 90 or something. Because I had one before he showed up. And then he showed up and had one. And then that's when we got you over there. So I was working on. my Clash of Claims face. You were,

which I haven't touched since that airport. That's, Clash of Clanes at this point is the game where like you're going on a road trip. Yeah. And you're like, I'm going to be like having some downtime. So what's something that I can do on my phone? You're like, hop on the cock.

Relo down. Yeah. AI. C. C. C. AI Blackjack. 80,

Blackjack. Chess. We're playing some chess. We're playing some chess. We're playing some chess. Yeah. Uh, trying to download movies. Yeah.

We'll get there. But yeah, the airport tab. Yeah, expensive airport tabs. Expensive airport tabs. Delayed flights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Movies that wouldn't download. But we got there on time, which was pretty smooth flight there.

Yeah, we got there with not as much time to spare prior to the meeting as we thought, but enough time to sit down at a park bench. Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm jumping ahead. This is where the week starts. Yeah, the park bench started, but we didn't indulge on the slamsies at this point. No, no, no, no.

We were still cold sober. Well, we were fighting some residuals. The residuals were gone by that point. That was five hours. Oh, speaking, we never included the Uber to, like, from the airport in our record, did we? I think we did. That guy was pretty cool. No, because I think you backed up into including the Uber from Hotel 1 to Hotel 2, but not ever the one from the airport.

We really should have made, like a, we should have made a fucking, we'll get to. We'll get to our Uber record later when it starts winning, but either way. So Uber won? Yeah. Mid. We'll call it a wash, zero zero. Yeah. We'll call it a wash.

Wasn't bad. Wasn't good. Oh, oh, and one. Which compared to some of these other Ubers we had. We'll get the. Compared to a normal Uber, this guy would have been like that. Oh. We were blessed.

You know what I mean? He was cool. A little bit late, but he was cool. Anyways, yeah, park bench. Park bench. Hang out. It was, collect ourselves. I think the park bench was the first moment where I was like, we're in a different climate.

Yeah. Because it was like, green growing grass. Yeah, it was warm. I was sweating. That was the first moment where I'm just like, like you walk up and you're so predisposed to being like, everything's dormant in Lincoln.

Yeah. My first thought was, oh, they got AstroTurf down around this area. And it's real. It was just green growing grass. I mean, that was the real, like, we're here moment. Right.

That was it. That was the first time I ever smoked a cigarette, like actually truly stressing about something to. So you were stressing at that point? Oh, yeah. I was stressing up until I mowed the first green. Really? Yeah, because I'm just like,

Well, I was stressing for another reason, but we'll get there. So the first day, Sunday, we go, we basically meet, find out who, like, their director of agronomy is, their super, their assistance. Well, we also skip the part where we got random roommates without knowing that. Oh, yeah. That was it. We go to check in and we're like, I was like, Jake Killam, assuming I would be with these two guys. guys. Yeah.

And they were just like, or you checked in first, and they were like, your roommate's already here. Yeah. Like, huh? Yeah,

he's right here. They're like, yeah, his name's Matt or Matthew or whatever. Oh, and we were like, oh, so we had random roommates,

which worked out. Turned out just fine. I think we all had a good roommate. We all got solid people. Yeah. Um, shout out the congressional club. Now are we going to the course?

He paid me to say that. Uh, I like how I was the one that was like, let's make an outline so we don't forget anything. And I'm just skipping it over. I think that's about all that happened there, finding out random roommates getting on to the... I mean, that was the first time we laid eyes on the unit himself. Big. But I guess we could...

Diesel. Diesel. Okay, so we got there. You talk about what we did when we got there. To the course? Like, we had our meeting and then they... Yeah, so they... You kind of introduced this.

to like the managers and everybody. And then it kind of like, did they give us food at that point? I was about that. We did have lunch. I think they fed us. Yeah. And then we kind of went on like a course tour and checked out.

I do have to stop you really quick. Their director was giving us kind of a rundown. Kind of like a, um, this is a crazy event. It's going to be roaming with police officers. Oh yeah. There's going to be drug dogs, Homeland Security, undercover cops.

He's like, so they gave us like a bag for like tournament day shirts and coats and stuff. They're like, make sure that's tucked in. Pull your keys on your cart when you're not using them. Like it was kind of like a, oh my God. Don't give anybody a ride. People will steal the card. People will steal your shit. Somebody's fucking with you.

Just say police and police are in range. He was like, if you just whisper police, over your shoulder a cop will be there and we're like what? That was like kind of like a welcome to the league moment where I was like oh we're dealing with some shit and he was also talking about like if anything pops off and he's like if there's ever like a worst case scenario and he's like let's say there's an active shooter and we're like oh my god he just jumped straight to the worst possible scenario so anyways that was kind of like I was like a preemptive warning

And then yeah, go ahead Yeah, so you just kind of gave us a tour What, the Just around the course Did we see 16? Yeah, we walk by the practice facility And then basically straight to 16 Yeah, 16 and then

We were in there. That's when we were first taking pictures We were like on the green. Yeah, we walked across the green. Yeah, we did that. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we did that. And then we went to 17. So much shit, I don't know. I don't have a memory

like that. Again, it was, very overwhelming. Yeah. At first it sure was, yeah. We, we, we walk, they basically beeline to 16 because they're like, we all know this is what everyone's coming here for. Fans and workers. Went up into the 17

skyboxes. Yeah, check that shit out. Yeah, I got to see 17 up above. Kind of walked up the 18th fairway. Yep. And then they were, that's when they were talking about their bird prom. And then we got our first taste of this character. Big text. Do we name them?

No. Uh, uh. I mean, This isn't getting back to them. Let's just call him text. Just call him text. Why not? His name's not important. I don't even know his last name.

So we could say his first name and I wouldn't even be able to say his last name. No, yeah, exactly. We'll just call him T. DTM text. Yeah, DTM text. I started connecting him with all of one on Instagram. He has a method to get back to this. Which is why I'm just kind of like.

If he gets back to this, I think he knows he big tech. Do so. Okay. If he gets back to this, he probably would love everything that we say. Yeah, that's good point. Yeah, sure, DTN text. Up to a point. It's like he's a gangbanger, dude, DTM tags.

Or is this like, fuck. DTM tags, dude. No, yeah, so he, yeah, they're telling us how. Well, they were talking about overseeding. Overseeding and how they have bird prom and birds love seeds, obviously, and eat seeds. And so they were discussing, like, basically nothing we can do to stop these fuckers from eating the seed. Right. And they-

Ben threw up a great idea prior to Big Tex. Oh, yeah. I shot it down. I was like R.C. Gator. Oh, yeah. R.C. Gatorhead, dude, in the water. In theory, can't not work. Well, I mean, they said they at one point just dedicated someone to just driving a cart around the banks.

Which is the greatest day job. Right. Throwing a podcast in and just doing laps around the lakes. Don't even, yeah. Throwing in the Grass Daddy's podcast and just doing laps around the lakes. I could do that 80-hour week, no problem. Right. 12 hours every day, but um,

I guess that'd be 70. But yeah, so they're like, what are his suggestions in this? 60. Fuck. And they, yeah,

they're like, if you guys have any suggestions and big text goes, 12 gauge? He's wearing a cowboy hat. Cowboy hat? With a feather. Feather and the,

the blue turquoise ring. Which, on his ring finger. On his ring finger. Which I feel like you only really see dudes from Texas rock. Blue turquoise. The ring being on the ring finger will become important later. Yes.

There's no big text is married with children. I can't remember if that's confirmed or not. Yes. Yep. Into his fourth decade of living as well. Yeah, yeah. His fourth decade of living. Well, into it.

Yeah. Not just a clip. Like a couple years into it. A few years into it. A few years into it. He hits the old 12 gauge and then turns to the first person and goes, laugh like that that is a funny shit he's ever said

and they're like no we can't shoot the birds they're like that's actually illegal yeah I think he said something about getting in trouble from people hearing it so then he suggested oh yeah 12 gauge with a silencer

look at the person on the other side of him and also yeah hit one of those and it was like okay we're in for a treat come to find out come to find out this guy's been a volunteer multiple times because he's friends with The head guy.

The head honcho. Yeah. Like the director? I think so. Oh, okay. He knew Brandon. I didn't know that. Allegedly.

Now that actually, now I'm thinking back on it, he probably didn't know Brandon. Yeah. But he might have. I was going to say, whose mouth did you hear that from? Okay, there you go. The horse's mouth.

Well, I mean, you're that boisterous and, anyway. So I was going to say you kind of have to force people to either like you or not like you. because you're in their face with your personality. You either love that dude or you hate to do. Right. I can't say I love them.

So basically Sunday wrapped up pretty easy. We go back to the hotel and they're like, see you at four. Four. Four. Four. Yeah. For the whole week, the bus was arriving at the hotel at four o'clock a.m. It never showed up later earlier, did it?

It was four every morning. It was like four on the die every morning. Okay. So we were waking up. I left early a couple of times. Oh, yeah. that. So we were waking up at like 340 to 3.45 in the morning every day.

You and I were waking up earlier, right? Sometimes. I mean, yeah, 345 was my alarm. I had a 245 morning. Oh, my God. Yeah. Why? With the alarm or you just woke up, woke up before the alarm and couldn't go back to bed.

Oh, yeah. Whether nerves or excitement, we were waking up early. And it was aggressive to the, it was like, a shock to the body. 4 a.m. start time compared to the past few months of an 8 a.m. start time. So just an 8 to 4, just a 4 hour with the time difference. Right. Change overnight. And it's kind of like a, you don't want to fuck up and be late, but you're exhausted, but you're excited, but you're anxious. It's like a whole mix of, it gets you out of bed, but you're also.

It's like that first day of school feeling. Like, you don't want to be early enough to see your first class, but like, man. you're just tired. You do not want to be there. Yeah. So I guess I'll just say I woke up the first morning and realized that I forgot my ED medicine at home, which, you know, everyone's got their manly struggles. You had to get it up for Tommy. Tommy.

You guys were shaking. So I was, yeah, we, first night we pushed our beds together. Then you realized you could get it up without the UD medicine. Right. But I didn't know. I didn't know. So I realized I forgot my. ED meds and I was basically having a panic attack like I felt a pool of diarrhea yeah immediately

surging and I thought I was going to be going a week without my ED medicine so luckily there's a CVS like within a stone's throw of our hotel and I was able to like get an emergency refill so I breathe the sigh relief there um you could be be rock hard all week. I was huge. I was taking doubles the whole rest of the week. Yeah, you were.

Just getting the blood flow out of your head. It's not. It's not like Viagra where it makes you get a boner. It's just that when you do get a boner, it's like, like really hard, like firmer than the greens. Which we're rolling and we'll cut. It'll be surprised at what people will bet on. So first day, basically the first three days,

Nothing really. It was all kind of a routine. Just getting comfortable with your job. So. But we did find out. Wait, can I? Yeah, go, go, go. So Monday rolls around.

So there's two shifts the morning and the afternoon. So the afternoon's going through and they're reading off everybody's name. And there's two bends. Yeah, I liked this. And so I hear the first Ben, I don't know who's who. He doesn't say our last names. There's two Ben's, two Jakes. Yeah.

I think the other one they were calling. Jacob, though, so I was good there. What sucks with Ben, it's either, like, you go Benjamin, which I don't call me Benjamin. You're like, if you say Benjamin, I'm just not going to say it. Even if you're looking right at me, and you say my last name too. And then there's like,

the other thing would be like Benny or like something stupid like Ben. No, no. It's like, yeah. Honor? Bena. Fuck that place. This is going to be an hour and a half pod, but I don't care. But, so yeah, Monday rolls afternoon jobs are getting listed.

Two Ben's. I hear Ben, Back 9-divot team. Like, oh, I think, okay, that's fun. Like, that's no stress. You're just throwing sand into holes. Mm-hmm. And then I kind of just check out and don't hear anything else. And so I go up to the guy reading the names off.

Right, because we were like, oh, there's two bends. Right. And so I was just like, yeah, just to make sure, like, I just want to make sure what I'm doing, there's two bends. He's like, hold away. And he's like, hold away. And he's like, hold away. Because prior to this, the other guy had said the Greensmo teams have always filled divvits in the afternoon, right? Like, so you Greensmoe in the morning and you assume that

Divot, yeah. Ben, Greensmower, divvits in the afternoon. Well, and I figured, because you two were on divots too. Yeah. I just figured they just threw us. Right. On the same shit. So I check in with the guy and he's like, yeah, you're Fairway Moe in the back nine on,

you're on the 30-50 number seven. And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, are you fucking like, I'm panicking, but I'm just like, all right. And I just walk out. And like, I can feel it like in my gut, just those jitters. He goes, are you sure? And you're like, you're like, are you sure?

And he's like, are you? No. He just started crying. You send us a picture on Snapchat that it goes, stadium pulls 10 million. Dude, I was nervous. Just like walking up to the moment. I was like, oh, God. And I'm like, the second guy out of this, the line.

Right. So let's talk about that. You want to talk about the convoy? I mean, yeah, it's pretty simple and straightforward. There's a lot of people with the super busy tournament. We have to take a back exit to get into a void golf. So taking the main roads with all those people and all those rowdy drunk people. Police.

Yeah. The first couple days was. Yeah, I mean, it started off fine. But then later in the week, you really saw why we were doing it. But yeah, I mean, nothing crazy. Just hop in your cart, follow the line leader. Right. They had a void.

Front and back nine split into lines. I guess, first of all, we should say there was 50 volunteers. with employees from both courses. Right, along with probably, I don't know, 30. Yeah, 30 or so TBC. So we had like 80 person ground screw. Every team, no matter what job you're doing,

was assigned a cart with a number. So when they would take roll and say what job you're doing, you knew exactly who you were with and what cart you were in. And so everyone would go get in their cart, and it was just a big long convoy to get a, out of the golf course with probably on a million videos on a million social media platforms right you can find it up somewhere yeah i'm sure you could look up yeah tbc just the convoy driving around the perimeter of the property to get into a back entrance so we avoid golf and

all that so you're hopping on the mower in the convoy i'm just like thank god i know how to start this thing because that would have been the most awkward question ever we'd be like all right what do i do here and like i knew the controls like i was like all right there's the pTO but the only thing is they have all John Deere and we have Toro. Which it's the same shit. I mean, like, all, like, the labels and everything and the buttons all have, like, the same emblems on them. But it's just slightly different. Right.

But, like, I'm sitting there. Like you said when you went to Mo Greens. What I say? You said, I went to go start my mower and just grabbed air because we're the normal to- Toro-handlers. Oh, no, no, I went to turn it off. Yeah, because I, like, when you're dropping the PTO switch, it's like, you're looking at the PTO switch. Right.

when you're pulling it up you're looking at your line and just grabbing it but it's in a completely different spot yeah so i go to turn it off and just grab a handful of fucking oxygen and the mower just keeps going and i'm like fuck dude did you scalp or did you just well there was a turning board so it wouldn't have been bad either way i could have tipped it but no i got it up that was good you got it up just like me the first day i got it up just like after you got your pills right um i guess we kind of skipped over a little bit so we were all on greens mowing And we learned who our partners were going to be for the week. And we also learned which greens we were going to mow.

And your boy got tasked with mowing the infamous 16th green. And I was like, is this a simulation? Are we in a simulation? Could be. Don't need the pills anymore. You got me there. I was up. I was honestly so jealous because I had 15 and 17.

And so I literally was just in between 16 Just like, oh man, what's going on in the karaoke all day? What's so fun? So yeah Green's mowing in the morning, all of us Nolan and I were divvets in the afternoon. Ben was fairly mowing in the afternoon. Basically, we would come in, set up for four hours,

leave. If even that. It's usually set up for like two and a half and then just sit there for an hour and a half. Right. I think I spent more time waiting for the shuttle than I did on the course. Right. You could either hang out just until the afternoon shift, you know, watch golf. Like I said, we had these badges that it wasn't, you couldn't just like walk inside the ropes when they were playing.

But you could use them to get in like general admission. Yeah. Or you could take the shuttle back to the hotel, hang out. until the afternoon shift Monday, Tuesday were pretty uneventful Wednesday was the

proam I walked around Monday a little bit without you guys just for practice rounds Tom Kim Not Tom Kim Called Tom Kim not Tom Kim Yes okay

Can say Harada Tom Kim That was funny But yeah Nothing crazy was going on Monday When you guys weren't there Just practice rounds And racist old security guards Sweet.

So practice around Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday was the proam. We kind of hung around for a while. Got to see some celebs. Travis Kelsey. Travis Kelsey. Michael Phelps. Larry Fitz.

Emmett Smith. Yeah. We saw Sepsraka. We saw Oxy. Moosey Betts. Max Homa. Hovland. Yep.

We saw a lot of people. How did you see? We saw. I'm breezing over that. How did you, how did we, Maverick McNeely? He was up. He was up.

He was up. He was, yeah. He was close to the top of the running for quite a while. Top 10 for. I thought he finished pretty high too. Like most of the tournament, yeah. Wasn't he like tied for second at one point, I think? Yeah, something like that.

How'd you know what was him? His hands. Oh, okay. So, what day? A little inside joke. Everybody loves that on a podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say by kind of the, I'll say this.

The first day, extremely overwhelming, borderline panic attack inducing. The second day, it's like, all right, this is a repeat of yesterday, so I basically know what to expect. Yeah. The third day, you're like, okay, it's starting to feel like a routine. I would say by the fourth day, which is the first tournament day, it started to feel like I'm a part of the grounds crew I was a full-blown TPC employee

I mean yeah I was gonna say outside of the the no-do-day all the morning ships were pretty uneventful I skipped over them no-due day God damn it yeah no-d-day is always fun that was Wednesday do-day D-day that was our D-day

that was yeah so that was Wednesday we dropped the back of those trailers got mowed down those screens were lighten us up Whoa. Wow. Jop the back of those trailers and got mowed down on due day. So.

For those of you that don't understand what the distinction is with do versus no do, when there's dew on grass. The only way you can see what you've mowed is due. Right. Unless it's like when you're cutting green tight grass, that's a tenth of an inch. A tenth of an inch high. A hundredth of an inch. No.

A tenth. 10th. One hot, no, yeah. 10th of an inch. You need that little bit of moisture to see where your lines were, especially because we were double mowing them. Us and our partners were mowing different directions. So it was hard to see already.

And then once you got over the area that your buddy already mowed, it was borderline impossible. Hard enough to see with due, let alone without due. So they had to, because it was windy the night before. so they basically had to send out guys with hoses to wet down the greens just to give them a little bit of water so we could see which Brandon wet down the chipping green and he went over it so fast and he was just like that I don't even think there was water droplets that hit the ground

I think they evaporated before they made contact with grass that's funny because one of my dudes on 10 like oh it was Tanner which is one of the assistants he wet it down he just for you Eric turned him, told him to turn a head on. Oh, yeah. Move it with his foot. Yeah.

And do it that way. And Eric, Eric was like, all right, turn it off. And he, like, didn't hear him. Tanner didn't hear him. He's like, I'd turn it off. And he still didn't hear him. And he probably hit it for like another 30 seconds. And he's like, dude, don't let the PGA guy.

What's his name? Alex. Yeah, don't let Alex see this. Like, he'd be pissed. Because he soaked the fucking green. Like, Jesus. What was this?

10? Like, it was probably rolling at a different speed. Just because how much water you put down? Inside scoop for all you betting fans. Oh, yeah. So who, I guess I'll talk about that. So who he's talking about and you see that pin up there, there is a dedicated TPC or slash PGA agronomist

that basically rotates between courses that are holding PGA events. basically to just make sure the course is up to snuff from an agronomy standpoint for these high-level tournaments. So he basically kind of is hand in hand with like the director and super and making sure that they're doing everything correctly to make it. Like if the greens are rolling too fast, he'll say pull the rollers or if things are. It's just there to be a supervisor, pretty much. Basically, make sure everything is up to snuff, which it is. like he probably doesn't have to do much because he probably loves that tournament yeah he's just like all right

I gotta go hang out here with all these yeah with all these cool people so but um for the most part the week was pretty uneventful well I will say I was gonna say the the no do morning my guy was really struggling to see his lines to the point where he he didn't quit but he like kind of threw up his hands

and frustration just because he was wanting to do a good job and it's like, like I said, almost impossible. Yeah, I mean, it's admirable. Like to be that mad about you not being perfect, it's like the same way I am, I think. So he kind of like had to take a second. Mind you, it's pitch black outside. We're mowing with headlamps and headlights on our mowers, trying to mow straight lines for the biggest tournament in PGA, essentially,

at least most viewed, probably. Definitely most attended too. For just, yeah, straight PGA events. Easily the most attended and most viewed. So one of the assistants took over mowing for him. And if you think you could have done any better, a high-level assistant at one of these highest-level courses is mowing and says, and I quote,

I can't see fucking shit. Which was pretty reassuring, to be honest. As a low-level peon hearing a high-level guy say he can't see, you're like, okay. It's not just me. You just mow it at that point. I will say I had the irrigation guy wedding migraines. and my experience was very different to you guys on Wednesday

because I had no issue. That day Wednesday was when I learned to look way out ahead of my mower and finding my lines that day was not hard. You just hit a different gear. When you're setting up for something like this and you know you have to be perfect, you figure it out. You just your line may disappear on you

and there's just some other will of nature. Well, when I hit my headlamp angle to the lot, that the mower. headlight stopped so I like extended my headlight basically and I could see my line. Put the high beams on. Yeah, I was like, the fog lights. I was in flow state, dude. I was like, all right, this is, this shit's getting striped.

Do or no do? It's got to get laser. Where's how we? Do? Do? Or no, do? Oh. Okay.

If not me, then who. Please edit it. No, I'm leaving it in. Uh, because I got my EV meds. Um, so Thursday, tournament day. Nothing crazy in the morning Basically standard I would say

Like that point We're starting to get to know Some of our Some of our guys Should we start introducing some more characters Uh Well yeah we can introduce Big Al

Big rubber neck and Al You gotta start with Diesel Dude He was the first one we laid eyes on He was the first character Describing Big Big

Is And ran on diesel He definitely And cigarettes. Pretty much. He had exhaust, dude. He was the definition of the John Daily quote, nicotine plus caffeine equals protein. He was running off caffeine and cigarettes.

And his caffeine was coax. He was like double fisting coax out of that fridge they had for us. Dude. And we should mention when he walked in the first day, he was alleged, like, already. Dude, all the like managers just went up down. Dapped him up. Dapped him up, hugged him.

Yeah. Like, Dude, sitting at the supervisor table. He was sitting with him. Yeah. This guy owned TPCs. It was like,

they all worked for him. We saw him at the hotel like the first day. We saw him at the hotel the first day. We're like, he was kind of off to the side by himself smoking. We're like, oh my God, look at this big boy.

Yeah. Sits at the front of the bus so he can have two seats to himself. Yep. Like back. Then walks in. Back it up. Big dude. Real big dude.

Yeah. Big doesn't describe. Not like, not like 6.5, but like, no, no, no. Probably what. 5.6. Yeah, I was going to say 5, 7, 5, 8, 5.9. He puts a 400. He had to be 400.

If he was 5.6, he was also 560. Like this dude is. Uh-uh. Upper 3s. No. You think he was pushing 4? There's a 4 in front of that scale. 4 bills?

Yeah. Do you think he was 2 of me? Do you think he weighed 2 of me? Probably. He's in the 4. Okay. He's in the, like, this dude is... That would actually be the perfect...

Imagine a 200-pound person and then imagine another 200-pound person next to him. And then... Mold them together and paint their hair red. Me standing shoulder to shoulder with another 200-pound person, this dude is going to have his arms out wider than both of us. I mean... He couldn't hide behind a tree.

We'll get to that. Our first... character did nothing wrong, never spoke to him. You did a little bit, but never had like any... No, Swedish guy, I... Yeah, great dude. But it's funny that we were just like, who's this guy? And then he walks in with the more clout than anyone else there.

In an hierarchy of people at TPC Scottsdale, it was director, super him, Eric's senior assistant. Yeah, he's just over all of them. Like, this guy, he ran the show. That guy has been at TPC Scottsdale. Stale for that tournament longer than all of the senior assistants have been. Do you want to say that? He was the first guy. First ever.

Yeah. They said 12 years? 12 years. I honestly thought it was 13. Well, I mean, like I thought over 13. That's fucking impressive. Yeah. Come to find out this guy was the first volunteer they ever had.

Yeah. When they started introducing volunteers. Legend. Been doing it 12 years in a row. Rolled green. And he rolls greens. For those of you that don't know what rolling greens means, it's a machine that all it does is after the mowers go,

it roll. Like it just has rollers and you sit on it and just go back and forth over the green and it just makes the green firmer. Or in his case. A lot. Or in his case, they have to sometimes rotate him to front and back nights. I mean. To keep things even.

Yeah. which is a shot. That's just what I heard. That's just what I heard. But he was a legend. Twin Peaks every night. Apparently. If you don't know what Twin Peaks is,

it's just Hooters, but called Twin Peaks. Right. And yeah, it was just a vacation. The guy just goes on vacation. It's just, yeah. ORA farms for seven days

and just gets out of it. Without trying. Without trying. Probably smokes a carton. I was going to say, Yeah, anecdotally said that he couldn't catch his breath if he wasn't smoke. Yeah, yeah. So I was in conversations with one of the assistants.

That was, I basically was just like, I got to hear the story on this guy. And they go, he smokes a pack in the morning, pack in the afternoon, always has rolled greens. He's been doing this for 12 years. Allegedly, there was some other guy that was smoking. There was quite a few people smoking. I said, like, man, I got to stop. So, like, I can't catch my breath. And Diesel said, I can't.

catch my breath unless I smoke, which I don't even know what that means. Which if you saw the guy, you'd believe it. Yeah. Just peak male performance. The video of John Daly rolling while smoking, it'd be like if this was Big Diesel's like little kid, smoke it. Like pretty much. Yeah, he did. John Daly is Big Diesel's son, which is crazy to say because I think John Daly's like, I got to have a similar look.

30 years older than him, but he sons John Daley. I was going to say. talking about wrestling, like they've got to add another weight class for this dude. Oh, yeah. He wrestles in heavy, heavy class. Well, they do have it. They do have it just not in America, and it's called sumo. He wasn't a sumo wrestler.

Well, he wasn't a, but we also didn't seem with his shirt off or a diaper on. That's his weight class. All right. So, just the. So the fabled story about him, we'll just tell it now. I was on 11. The fabled story. So we'll just say

I'm not going to say his last I don't know if he wants this air I'll just say diesel D's big D All the managers and mechanics had radios So they could instantly communicate With each other

And I think it was one of the mechanics That was standing there watching me Mo Because I was having issues with My PTO would be on But I made a couple passes once And I lifted up and pulled my thing back and I always look at my reel

to make sure it stops before I set it down like if I'm gonna move my turning boards and there was one time where I pulled my thing back and I looked and it wasn't spinning so I was like was it even spinning on that pass?

Did you have like a flashing orange button when that would happen? Okay then we had different problems. That was if your throttle was slightly down. I was having that too. Because I had my throttle like on full mo, PTO down

and all that made a couple passes and my orange button was flashing because my PTO wasn't spending the whole time. And we had to like reset the backlapse, which one. It was weird. But yeah, anyways. So I had a mechanic watching me. And I was like, I, like, took the parking.

I didn't know if it was a parking break issue because I like kind of engaged it and then disengaged it to make sure. And it was spinning. I don't know. So I had a mechanic sitting there kind of watching me mode to make sure it kept spinning. And. on his radio I hear

does anyone have eyes on Big Diesel and then I hear a reply go yeah he's right next to me I didn't see him at first he was hiding behind a tree and then I

heard another reply go that's bullshit that'll never not be played and then there was another reply that went ha ha because they're all in serious mode yeah he was like sarcastically laughing, but like the idea of this man hiding behind a tree, we started coming up with all sorts of jokes.

Like I didn't know there was a sequoia tree on property. The one redwood on property. The one redwood on property. You think redwoods can grow in the desert. Like Jesus Christ, I didn't realize I don't, I didn't, I wasn't aware of this five foot wide cactus that was out there. Like, I don't know. Where is that at? Basically, the like equivalent I can give was legit like a street sign.

and then you like just a normal person like trying to hide behind the streets on it it's probably like it would be like a grape trying to hide behind a toothpick i don't know we could scale it down as far as we're grapefruit hiding behind a toothache i mean like there was oh god i mean yeah just if the definition of trying to hide behind an ethernet wire i don't know the definition of portly i think big diesel's picture would come up just you ever try to hide a beer can behind fishing wire? I mean, yeah. A barrel behind a light post. It was just not going to

have it. So, are you sure that was a tree or was it one of those fucking structures they have cameras on? All right. No, it's breathing. So that was one of the funniest things. One of the funniest

hot mics ever to be heard. And that's when I brought it up to the I brought it up to Tanner. Like, I heard this over the, and he thought it was hilarious. And that's when he was talking about, like, oh, yeah, he's on vacation. He's going to Twin Peaks every night. So that's Big Diesel.

I'm, I'm satisfied with that segment. I think he got it. I think he deserved. Ample time, yeah, ample time. And we might have shit on him a little bit, but I just want to know. No. He's my, he's my spirit animal. No.

No shit on. No bad talk at all. Respect to these. Yeah. No. I wish I would have had more of a conversation with him. Oh, no. It's a full beer. Because you know what?

I wish I would have had more of a, but it was almost like he had celebrity status. Yeah. Like I almost didn't want to like, be like, hey, what's up, man? Because I didn't want to be like a clout chaser. You know what I mean? The one night, I think it was the night you went down to the pool. He like was just smoking next to me. No, no, that was the night that you and I were down there.

Was it just me and me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because remember I stepped out of the gate Because it was like smoking section or whatever So I just like went to the other side of the gate Yeah I was talking to it Like I went to approach and I was like It was legit

You know what I mean? It's like he's on celebrity status It was like what do I even talk to him about? I was like freaking out The girl that you're trying to do And I was like Rolling in Greensley How do I was like

Yeah it must be hard seeing those lines ahead Yeah It is he just kept smoking Like I didn't want to approach him Because I didn't want to be like, I don't know, like disingenuous. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't want, if I was to be like trying to be like, hey, what's up?

I would think it would be like, he's like, just so you know, I'm higher than you. Yeah, it's like. Well, it'd be like, I don't know, like, you're like, hey, big D. So he's like, what? Like, just punches you in the. He'd probably, he'd probably just laugh and be like. That would be a loony through that. You'd go flying.

My shoes and socks. are staying here in midair and it's just like a cloud of smoke goes backwards. The fucking thing comes out of your head. It was like, it's like freshman football and then like trying to talk to like. It was like he was a senior. Yeah, it was like, he's a senior and we're freshmen. Like, yeah. That's exactly how I would describe it.

Freshman versus senior. I like that. Speaking of seniors, super senior big tags. Are we getting into that now? I think it's time to. I don't really like before we start getting into the people, I don't, I don't think there's really any eventful like core story. Yeah. Yeah, there is.

Your bed knife. Yeah, the bed knife. Should we get past all the core stories that we can just get to the people? Sure. Let's get the text. So, yeah, let's finish up on the agronomy standpoint. Um, so basically, I think it was Friday. It was Friday.

Yeah, it was Friday. Friday, um, mowed the chipping green, just fine. stay in my life. Moe 11, just fine. Five, five. Go to Mo 13. Because I had four greens, you had four greens. Did we all have four greens? I had three that day.

We all had four, except for the days that they didn't finish their round the night before. Then I had five. And he had three. And I had three. Okay. I was taking over 17 for whatever reason. 17 was in his route. I don't know.

I couldn't just work backwards. Go look up. Well, because I think we'd have to wait or something. You were waiting anyway. Yeah, I don't know actually why the reason was. Yeah. Go look up 17 on TPC Scottsdale above you to understand... To understand why this is a shitty green...

This is just... Ridiculous, right? Did you moat it 3 to 9? Oh, you were just 6.12. No, I moat it both days. I moat it 6 to 12 and I moat it 8 to 2 or whatever. 3 to 9 was crazy. No, I moat it right to...

Loving across on that little... Peninsula up in the top left, which was fine. Really? Yes. Because I essentially mowed it with when I was going left or right because half the green is basically with because you have that same lip on that peninsula the whole time. Yeah. But then going 12-6, like that pass I was telling you were it was just a blind fucking 50 feet. We're just hoping you meet your last pass.

The width was bad. And it's just big. Again, when you're talking about when you're talking about gargantuan-sized girls, mowing in the dark when you're trying to match up lines because you're stopping and starting again depending on how the collar wraps around yeah it's like uh is like for a regular person imagine if you are mowing your lines like towards your house in the back of your property and you make a pass to your house but then the next pass is your side yard to the front yard so you have to stop on your front yard sidewalk and make a pass all the way in your front yard past your side yard

and meet it up with the very less. So you have like, I would argue like, 70 feet. I would argue you're starting a pass in your backyard. And then once you get to the back of your house, you have to go around the side of your house and start it again in the front yard. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. To the street.

That's what I'm saying. And try to line it up. Yeah. Yeah. Like your last pass hits the edge of your house. So the next pass has to start in the front, but meet up with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

It was really bad. But imagine that, but 100,000 people are going to come look at your lawn that day. Millions on TV. I was talking to you about that, right? And I was like, you ever think about it? Like, millions of people are going to see what we just did. Luckily, you couldn't really see the lines on you.

Thank God. Thank God. But it was still, like. I'm confident in them, but also I'm like, it was weird being a zoo animal pretty much for seven days. I loved it, though. I feel like it forced me to lock in. It did.

Again, you hit another gear. You hit a gear. you didn't know you had. You do feel kind of like a badass when someone pulls their phone out and starts recording you just because of like... Right. Because you know they're going to show that to the funny.

So let's get there. Let's get there. Let's get there. Fuck. So my bed knife, I'm going to skip over all the details. Basically, I went to start my mower and it was like, and I was like, oh, fuck. And it like did not sound right at all.

Basically, my mower was fucked up. The mechanism in which a greens mower mows is... It's like a scissor. It's more like a scissor. and imagine one of the sides of the scissors was all fucked up up so there was going to be no cutting action so I was done mowing for the morning

essentially because they would have had to bring me another mower which they were basically using all of them because there's 80 people working so there's probably what like 16 or 18 people in greens probably well wasn't it 3 and 3 3 well two mowers for every 4 greens and there's 18 there's more than 18 There's probably what, the 22 greens total with all the practice greens and chipping greens?

You do the math. So basically I was done mowing for the morning and Ben and his guy had to take over for our last screen of the morning, which was 16. The stadium hole itself. So Ben, just go ahead and walk me through what it was like, Moen's 16 because I got to do it every day. So by the third day, I was just like tired of it. It was just old news. Business as usual. Right.

I was like, this is kind of boring. No, so, I mean, it's pretty insane. I mean, I don't know. Having people watching you. Well, that, and like, I don't know how many people who listen to this have ever worked on a golf course, but it's usually you just get to your shit and you do it and you go. But it's like- You might have a squirrel watching you.

Dude, like the preemptive, first of all, you get off the last greenie mode, we drove. Security guard has to open the gate. To let a shit. Never, never, never. You do a tunnel walk. You go through a tunnel. that opens up to, sorry, to the whole stadium of 16. Right.

You just like turn your head. You just see probably, I don't know, 30,000 seats. If you're in Nebraska, I'm mowing you, imagine you're getting ready to mow memorial stadium. Pretty much. Well, not that big, but. But then if they did it like as people were, as people were like getting to their seats, right? So like you start, you get in there, it's crazy, but nobody's there, so it's fine. The bananas.

The banana's worth, but hold on. So you get, nobody's there, security's kind of watching, the screens are, everything's just getting turned on, mics are getting checked. So you're just mowing, moan. And then you hear, it's like, for me, I was going away from the general admission seats. So I was going, like, away from them. And I just hear, behind me. And I'm like, what the fuck?

What is that? Like, I legit had no idea. I thought like a drum set or something, like maybe they had like a live thing going on. I part turn. And I just see probably 300 people just sprinting through that general admission section, just trying to get seats. 25 bananas are just converging on a front row spot.

Just trying to find something. And so then I'm like, holy shit. Like I'm kind of getting nervous. But I'm like, I have both my headphones in. I put those in. because I was like, I'm not hearing, if I hear somebody, like, people like yelling. Jeering at your line like, you're crooked. Yeah, I'm going to start.

Yeah, stadium pulse was too much. I'm freaking out. So, yeah, so I just kept those in, did my shit. And then I took them off and, like, kind of soaked it all in. Just people were screaming at you. Not like in a bad way, but like in a, like, they're just excited that like. They're so hyped. Well, and a lot of those people, I would argue 90% of those people have never seen a green get load.

No. They don't know what goes on. They're rushing down in there and they're going, oh my God, they're getting this shit ready for the greatest day. Dude, it's behind the scene pass. Exactly. Like you're watching. A couple of them got a bottle of clippings. I'll get into that.

But yeah, it was the coolest experience probably of my life. It's like the most... Easily work related. Nothing tops that. I'm jealous. It was refreshing that it's like you get a sense of... at the highest level, the work I'm doing is appreciated. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you do work, you go through whatever job it is that you're doing, and you feel monotonous, and you feel like, it's just another day. Yeah. But at this scale, all eyes are on you, and what you're doing is the most important thing in the world, it seems like. Yeah. So you... In that moment of time, yeah. And it's easy to take pride in what you're doing and feel good about what you're doing when everyone's like, they're getting the hole ready.

Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's insane. So you got to mow it Friday because my thing fucked up. Yeah. Which I was happy for you. Yeah, thank God. Because I thought that we were getting like kind of rotated around.

Like we'd all mow a hole, basically. I thought that too. But then at the same time I was like, I think for the sake of, uh, making it easy on everybody routine that they'd want everyone doing the same thing so it gets easier and quicker and more efficient because everyone knows what they're doing I figured that out day two

exactly exactly so I guess I'll say Saturday which is they call it the show Saturday is the big day where the real crowds are pouring in

I took a lot of pictures and videos on 16 I took like a time lapse of people running down in 16 They had an MC and a DJ Karaoke They uh like I'm mowing the green and there's a guy going test test test test Like testing his mic And he's going uh Who's ready to have a fucking day

And everyone's going crazy and I'm like I'm walk mowing a green right now Something I've done a million times but never in these circumstances You've never felt the base under your feet. You know what I mean? Because what are you on when that's going down? You're on 17? I'm in by that time. Okay.

I was going to say, because I was on those practice screens at that point, because that was a 17 day, like half a mile away maybe? And you can hear that guy. I can feel the base. I'm mowing and I can feel the ground shaking. No, I felt it on a...

And I'm at ground zero. On Wednesday or Tuesday, whenever they did the creator thing, there was a dude on a mic and like i it was like through my headphones like with music playing i could hear the microphone like the mowing fairways yeah oh my god i was like oh my god i was like oh my yeah this is insane i will never forget the bass yeah basically every day when we were filling divids you could hear the crowd yelling and you could hear the music going it's a great time but um really is the greatest show on turd saturday the greenest show on turp the drunkest show

I mean, is it greenest or greatest? Greenest is what I have. Greatest. I have a greenest show on turf thing. But I thought the thing was greatest. No, but greenest is like the way. The Saturday thing. No, the waste management thing.

Because they're, they're, uh, the donations. A trash company. Right, but on Saturday, if you wear green, the. Right. That's because it's waste management. They're a green and yellow and B, they're trying to make the earth more green. He didn't know it was a national company.

He didn't bring. Yeah. So I'm mowing on Saturday and I'm almost done with my green and the MC is going, we're going to start this off with the Pledge of Allegiance. And they like brought a guy down from the crowd. They're like, he doesn't know it. So he's going to have to read it off his phone. And I'm thinking, who the fuck doesn't know the Pledge of Allegiance?

And I see my guy stop his mower and take his hat off. And I'm in the middle of a pass while he starts reading it. Yeah. And I was like, oh shit. And my mower's going. so I get to the edge of the green and quickly lift up shut off turn my thing off and take my hat off and I'm standing there at the front of the green right between the green and the collar

knowing I got to make a whip this thing around and make a tight turn but I guess I'll stand here for a second and listen to this fucking frat douche read off the Pledge of Allegiance and when you get paused after a pass you'll lose your line right I'm like he's throwing off my groove you motherfuckes wait like pledge okay like it was the pledge of not the star spangled banner no the pledge of allegiance to the flag of the united states of america stands uh one nation country or yeah one nation under god you might need a phone i was gonna say for liberty and the same one that you recited every single day of school from

five years old eight well i i uh no i only did this motherfucker i need a phone i only did it through elementary i don't think i ever did in middle school or high school uh i think we did it every day of high school for me really yeah yeah yeah yeah up until senior yeah so I went to the ISIS high school. You went to the Netanyahu High School of forgiveness and appreciation. Yeah, exactly. So, um. Hello.

And then Sunday. I kill everyone. I would live for Pakistan. That was what our national, her pledge of allegiance was. Will you just hit me with the, you know, the family guy where Stewart goes like, I love when you do the. I love it. You know what I'm talking about? Would you just hit me with one real quick, with the echo?

A log, bud That sounded like a... Oh, you want to head? Go ahead. We're in our in, folks. You can't blame us at this point. That's the sound of when they get to the 53 virgins.

And then, shortly after. That's a sound bite in the file. Which also came out while we were there. I was in the hotel reading us for a little while. Oh, yeah. What? The E files?

The E files, dude. Oh, you were, so we were in the hot tub and you were giving me a rundown on the boy. I can't believe, by the way, you really had no idea what was going on. I didn't have no idea. I had some idea, but I'm so unpolitical. Right, the New York financier. I'm so unpolitical and out of the loop when it comes to, like, conspiracy theories and shit like that. It's not a conspiracy theory.

I know, I know, I know, but it's a pedophile. We'll cut that. No, do not cut that. that out because then yeah no yeah no don't i i wasn't i i basically knew he died in prison why are we going into this right now he didn't he didn't well he did die but he was murdered oh you're thinking he's still alive and they found him they face matched him to a guy in yahoo yeah he's in he's he's walking around with security there 100% face matched like he's but i mean what can we do about okay we got we okay we're at an hour eight i got my guys on it

Sunday Joe Rogan Like two and a half hours We got time Sunday Sunday was a lot calmer And Sunday when I was coming Off the green

Mowing 16 for the last time There was a couple guys going like Yeah And since no one else did I was like Those guys deserve it So I went over to my cart Took an empty water bottle

And stuffed some clippings In it from 16 And I said you guys Want some clippings And I handed these guys Some clippings from 16 green And I told them I think they still have that

Probably not. I'm sure they threw it away because it's at the beginning of the day. You think they're going to hold on to that bottle the whole day? But it was more for me than anything. I was like, I did a good thing and gave these guys maybe an unforgettable souvenir. That is a cool souvenir. Clippings from 16 green? Yeah, for us, it's cool. For them, they might not care.

I was thinking of it from my perspective. I'd be like, hey, guys, I have the grads from 16. You know what I mean? That's why I was like. Your perspective, though, but from a dude who lives in a frat house at Theta Kai on ASU. You think he's gonna bring home a plastic bottle. If he's into golf at all, but here's the thing.

I think it would mean. But here's the thing. He could have given it to someone else if he was like, hey, I got clippings from 16, you want it. Maybe he sold it to someone. I don't know.

As long as someone ended up with it that actually cares, that's all I care about. I just told him, I was like, I don't want to see this on eBay. I thought that was a funny joke. It's a good bit. It was a decent bit. So then that was it.

Is there any other? from a work standpoint we want to talk about or do we want to start talking about guys let's talk about some guys we got some guys are we forgetting anything in the after any afternoon work stories I mean we are filling divots

it was frustrating as hell because the fairway mowers they always mowed fairways in the afternoon and they had brushes because they were burning in the lines aka they would always go over the same lines alternating directions every day to really make them pop

and these brushes in the afternoon when the divot sand divot mix sand dried out the brushes would just flick all the sand out of the divets and basically we would have to refill all the same divots every day it seemed like yeah

sorry about that I mean it's whatever I'm sorry about it I mean divots are divets relatively uneventful by the last it was kind of pro am day i don't know it was not pointless but like by the last i mean by the last couple days when we were convoing out div it with sand it's like there's no seed involved yeah what's gonna

a lot of steps on the pro am day some good action shots of him mow and fairways i took a lot of pictures and videos i'll i'll get some of those i'll probably uh i think he might already but i might edit in some some pictures and videos here and there we'll see um do my due diligence but I need an assistant. You pull that up. By the last few days, the crowds are starting to get a little crazier. We saw a little person walking with someone that was the talk of the town. I mean, God, big silicone necking, rubber necking owl.

The midget spinner. The talk of your town. Everyone was calling it a... Can you say it? I'm sorry, I said it. I said it. Can I say Indian spinner? We're going to have to cut that.

You can't say that it more? The M word is bad. Really? Yeah. It's not illegal. It's not illegal, but it's just frowned upon. It's like using the N word. No.

No, that, that, you can't say that. It's a little person. That's more demoralizing. Can I have another beer? That's how you're supposed to say it now. It's a little person. You can't determine that. It's a little person.

It's not the M word. Okay, should we talk about rubber necking now? Rubber neck and Al. So he was your partner. Come to find out he'd been there for a year, but he was still. a TPC worker. It was his first waste management, which kind of sucked because I was asking him questions, and he was like, yeah, I don't know. Pretty much like, yeah, I don't know how this goes.

You're like, we may as well just been both of all, like, the only thing he knew more than me was how to get around the course. Because he'd been there for you. Yeah. So, but yeah, rubber neck and that, we call him rubber neck and because, man, if there was a lot of people walking around by people We mean girls. By girls, we mean, well, I don't know. They're good looking. Smoke shows. Smoke shows.

And pieces of ace. Correct. And so there's, I mean, I think there's multiple instances of rubber neck and owl, but the first one I saw was two girls taking a photo in front of a waste management logo. And she gets her phone back and, like, drops it. So, so, so this girl goes to pick up her phone, bends down. she's wearing a short skirt you know mental image is there

and Al turns his head at first because they're like he's driving parallel or they're right next to us right right he is driving he is driving so he just turns his head and then I'm like all right fair enough I see him

lean out of the car and basically turn his neck I mean full 90 degrees like he was one degree away from like he was trying to get a smell he was trying to break his neck

let me get the Ocho left but yeah so he's just looking driving a cart down the cart path and just staring I mean with no shame just staring at a chick's ass

because she's bent over in a short skirt and I'm like I hit him on the show I'm like ow what are you doing he's like trying to check him yeah well I was like come on man

Come on, Al. He tried to be discreet. He was like, you don't get to see that every day. He just kept driving. Do you have an iPhone? No, he didn't actually. He didn't? No, he had a Samsung something.

And then he was talking to his buddy. This was actually funny. He was talking to his buddy on Sunday. And he's like, yeah, we're just waiting. I don't know. He's just talking like, what he's doing. He's like, all right, you're taking up all my minutes. I've got to hang up.

He just hangs up on the guy. I'm taking up all my minutes. Oh, my God. Dude, Al was the best. I want to go back just to see Al again. So the morning I broke my bed knife. I got a new guy. His name was Daryl.

And he had been there for like 15 years, I think. Hispanic guy, great guy. Broken English. I love, I love Hispanic golf course. The guy you'd want mowing your greens. Right. Dude, the broken English makes it better because I don't know if I can say, but like a lot of the time it's like... If you're speaking genuinely, it's not bad.

No, but it's like your point doesn't always get across to them and their point doesn't get across to you all the time when there's a language barrier. But when you guys connect on something, it's the most rewarding. It's the greatest time. Like, just laughing. Yeah, no mommy's way. Right. If you can... Right.

And you make him laugh about something. Oh. It's the most rewarding feeling. Yeah, so a couple funny things about Daryl. Flash up the image of me and Daryl. He, we were at the front of the line for that morning that we were going together. And he was like, come on, let's go. Like, he was trying to get everyone going.

And Doug just goes, shut up. Go back to champs because they have a different golf course. He was just throwing it back at him. And, yeah, he was like, I was. like how are your lines with a nice and straight and he's like uh i don't really care anymore like he'd been there for so long he was just like he didn't really care if they were straight i guess yeah i don't know and then yeah the one we were i was walking into the bathroom when he was walking out and he was i guess in the stall because there was again 80 people for four toilets

for guys at least and he was walking out of the stall and i go caca and he's like no you were there for that were you i was yeah and then they said to talk of shit about you in Spanish So that was funny. Oh, yeah, what were they saying? You said something about you. I said, I don't know what they were saying, but it was something about. Well, I speak enough Spanish to pick up the fact that he was like, he just asked me if I took a shit and I told him no.

Like, then the other dudes was like, ah, like, no, mommy's way. I don't speak fluent Spanish, but I speak enough Spanish to know what the topic is. Right. Yeah, this conversation. And it was you. Basically, any Hispanic guy, I wanted to be their best friend. they're just like, they're so cool because they've been there for like 15 years.

Yeah, yeah. They just, they're so nonchalant with like what they know they and like what they do. Yeah. Like to like a low level, um, person trying to get into turf. You would think like, oh, there's a lot of stuff I gotta learn.

And these guys just know it like the back of their hand. It's almost reassuring. Well, there's like, there's a reason. Yeah, it's like they've been working there for 30. Dude, there was dudes at Spanish Bay. Chone. Like, Chon. for example, he'd been there for 38 years.

It's like longer than the directors and supers and everything. He saw Tiger Hole in one. Right. In 97. Dude, they were dudes. He was a vet by the time that it happened. Yeah. He was probably celebrating his 10th anniversary there.

When I went to Spanish May, they were dudes, the course opened in 87. They were working from 88. They'd been there. The only reason is because the 87. guys died. Pretty much. Like, yeah,

I've been mowing greens here for... Like, unfortunately, some my coworkers are dead, so I guess I'm close to next. I mean, it's crazy. And those are the dudes

you want to, especially a new guy into turf. Just go to the guy who's been there the longest and just ask him shit. Not everywhere. Oh, yeah.

Just pick his brain. No, everywhere. Wilderness Ridge? Well, maybe not Bruce. Don't go to Bruce. He asks you questions. Yeah.

He asks guys. that are summer help questions. About shit they don't know about. Right. Where's four? Are we going to talk wise? What order you going on in today? Oh, oh, here's a cool side story.

So, Chon, the guy just talked about, been there for 38 years. I don't know. Pretty common video. The guy who used to change cups. Retired. Retired. That was Chone's brother. Oh, really?

That's what, uh... Chone. I think Eric. I think that's what... Eric told us. Eric, in the comments, if you can let us know, have you ever met anybody who's spelled Eric with an A? I'm, I still can't get over that. So, anyways, are we had a good...

I would say those are the good characters. We had a good way, yeah, a good point to segue to the main event fight here. The main event. Yeah, the... So... The Conner McGregor of this story, the, the entertainer, the big money bringer. The Doug Dimidone. The Doug Dimidone.

So, flashback to the shock. Is there anything else we want to talk about? I think we're ready. No, we're good. I think we're ready. All right, so hit us. Because you have the best in-depth analysis with this guy. I think so.

So Big Tex, let's flash it back. Yeah, yeah, flash one back. Big Tech is the guy that was talking about a 12-gauge and then a suppressed 12-gauge. From day one, I'm like, all right, this guy thinks he's funny. Yeah, just to elicit a reaction from his coworkers. But throughout the week, it got more and more. we started labeling him as DTM. I was going to say blatant's not the word.

What is DTM mean? Doing too much. There you go. What's the, I guess Blighton's not the word I'm looking for, but like more and more like, boisterous, obnoxious, yeah, boisterous, yeah,

obnoxious, whatever. Louder. Talking about like, I'm not, I'm going to start it off. Like when we come in the afternoons. Just to put it bluntly, the reason why is, there were a couple females in the agronomy team.

Well, but let me say this. We would come back in the afternoons and they had like a Bluetooth speaker. And they'd be bumping tunes for us before our afternoon shift. We'd eat lunch and we go out and do some more afternoon work. I think I said females. I don't know if I'm not one of those guys. There was a couple of women. We had women.

Yeah, women workers. Yeah. And as he got around the women on the, which by the way, great workers. I'm not knocking the women. They were a hell of a job. Yeah, absolutely. But one of them, one of them was walk mowing and one of them was. mowing fairways.

One of them mowed fairways. Yeah, yeah. One of, there was no difference. There was a green walk mower, an approach walk mower in the morning. One of them was doing data. T's in the mower,

data, fairway mowed, like doing great jobs. Well, respected. But when you introduce women into a room full of 90 guys, there's bound to be one that's a little.

And guess who was the one? Big text. So, big old tape. Enter big text. But like I was saying, like I was saying, to give an idea of what's the kind of guy

this guy was. We had a Bluetooth speaker that would be bumping tunes in the afternoons. And at one point... At one point, he took over the Bluetooth speaker. This is... No, we got to get before that. So we're sitting in the break room.

So they fed us lunch and, like, before our afternoon shift every day. Our bus showed up to the course early. We ate catered bunch. It was a great time. We would always be bumping tunes. Like, it was always like the senior assistant was playing music.

getting the vibes right, getting us ready to, like, you know, hyped up, amped up, like, let's go knock this shit out and get home. He's playing good music. I was rapping the songs. I was singing the songs a great time. Oh, yeah. The first night I realized he was a problem is when we're all sitting there, viving, eating dinner, having a good time. And he's walking around the room filming everybody. Just one constant video just in this guy's face, the next guy's face, doing the fucking, like, hand signs.

like just going crazy. Gyrating. Spent a little extra time at the table that had the women at it. Yeah. And that was when I started to notice. I'm like, all right, like he made a couple stops there.

He was doing a little extra filming, a little extra talking. And I'm like, all right. Yeah. Women's table. Two, three, maybe four. He's getting it. So that was when I was like,

all right, this dude has. It's like a positive and negative, like, polar connection. Yeah. Before I knew him, I'm like, all right, he's like the glue. Like every crew needs a glue.

Every crew needs a guy that's like... The hype guy. A locker room guy. Just a guy. A vibe guy. Sucked his job, but God damn, he pull a crew together. And so that's why I'm like, at first, I'm like, all right. And he's kind of cool.

Like, he's... Initially, I thought he was kind of funny. He might be outgoing a little bit. You know, you might have... I mean, I have anxiety and everybody copes with it differently. Maybe this guy just tries to be, like, overly outgoing. Sure. So I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

That all goes out the window the next day. The next day, is when I'm like, all right, never mind. Like, this dude is, he's just the super senior. So, the next day is when the speaker comes into play, like you're saying. I don't even remember what the sequence of days is, but day X, or I guess day Y at this point, somehow. At one point, he takes over the ox.

We'll call it Doomsday is when he gets the ox. Doomsday starts getting aggressive. Doomsday is when he comes across the ox. This dude's walking around. like he's got the jukebox and it's the 80s. It's on his shoulder. He's walking around bumping fucking Mike Jones. He is, yeah, he's playing like 90s rap.

You know anything about this? But then it's like Tupac and it's like everything. Everybody knows everything about this. Right. It's like, yeah, this is older than our generation. But yeah. I mean, I know who this is. It's the same shit as like the old superintendent here.

You know anything about this? And then it's Abba. It's like, yeah. Like everybody knows everything about this. but he takes control the boom box and it's like we get it you're trying to be the center of attention

yes yeah like you're the coolest dude sitting out we get it you're you're the you're the greatest dude you know more music than but no he has the fucking speaker he's walking around pumping it up playing the music again multiple stops at a certain table

that contains certain people um but that was when I kind of realized that it's like he's kind of doing this for a reason potentially he's DTM DTM he's doing too much he's DTM and bad leveled at DTN come to find out because a lot of times I was going to bed nice and early because I'm old I'm unk but we got a wait to get to the up but he's we got a way to get to get the pool I know but he's doing this was kind of the whole there was a couple different nights but it

didn't get bad it didn't get like that bad until the end so the whole time all week he's only moving team markers. He's not doing anything. He's just driving around, not even nine. He's not, there's two people and he's not even doing nine of them.

So, that's a mini-o. Anyways. Is a three minio? That's a no. That's just a full-blown-o. Oh, five? Martin got me.

Five? Five's a, yeah. Wait, are you allergic to cats? No. No. Oh, okay. I didn't see this all the time. But,

Anyways, come to find out, he's not doing anything. He's not doing anything. No, you're good, you're good. I'm just saying, get in there. I said, fuck. You're talking to me. You're picking me up. Come on, we're getting there.

We're close. Almost at an hour 30. I didn't even know how to segue this. He leverages his job of doing nothing into doing the job that he wants. The women are doing. which happens to be the team markers in the last day and that's last day what what do you mean the divvits the divvits in the last day sorry oh

because she got put on the divvits and I'm not gonna talk about oh and he's helping with divvets yeah yeah oh my god coincidentally he finishes team markers and ends up on the divot team with a particular girl that he kind of was like it's almost like he was like throwing out a net to see who would respond the most and there was one in particular There was one hard on his hook. There was one particular, again,

girl, lady, outgoing, loquacious female, just speaking her. This one of like it's a loquacious. He said, look, we haven't got to do it. Oh, I forgot about the Uber. We'll circle back to that. Um, he and she's on our back nine divot team. We're hanging out.

I mean, I thought that she was talking to, but he didn't. So, it ends up talking is a good way. Anyways, let's skip to the pool. Okay. Okay. You get the gist of who this guy is. You get the gist of this dude being horn dog.

Horn dog. Yeah, perfect. For, yes, for lack of a better term, just a... Wait, remind me how old he is? 43. Oh, yeah, 43. One of them. And how old was his main target?

22? 22? Okay, perfect. Anyway. I'm there. 21, you're different. Um, how many years? A whole lifetime, basically.

He could have had a kid at her age, and by the time he was his age, the kid could have been drinking beer legally. That's so crazy when you put it like that. That makes it so much worse. Fast forward to Saturday night? Saturday night. Saturday night. Yes, yes. And we just mowed greenset.

So the last night. And by this point, I've caught on to this because you've kind of been feeling me in pause about everything. I skip the sleeper agent story. I mean, like, he's basically attention activated by the sound of her voice at this point. She's talking to somebody. Like, we're walking out to our cars in an afternoon shift. She's talking to somebody else, and every single time she says something, he's snapping his neck around. But, like, sleeper agents.

Yeah, to try to just interject himself into whatever conversations happen. Which, like, whatever, like, you know, get yours. If you're single. Get yours? Yeah, if you're single, if it's your person, like, whatever. forget yours. But he wasn't. Yeah, the issue is he's not single and she's well over half of his age younger.

So it's not- Saturday, Saturday, Saturday night. Saturday night. Saturday night at the pool. Does anyone else, you were all there doing it. Does anyone else want to tell this? Because you were the main event of this story. I guess from my perspective, like I said,

Nolan's been, for the most part, filling me in on all this. Definitely making me notice it more and bring it to my attention. Oh, let's back it up. We were at the pool another night, just Ben and I. We're all hanging out. We're sitting there. We're talking. By all you mean, like quite a few other volunteers.

Yeah, like probably 10 of us, 12 of us, something like that. We're all hanging out the hot tub. We're all just sitting there soaking our feet, drinking some beer, whatever. There's one individual that's shirtless down to his fucking bridges, just swimming all in, tits out, just being that guy. I'll let you take a guess who. It's not Ben and I. I've been in our place. Was it big techs?

How'd you guess? I don't know. I mean, there you go. I got lucky. Yeah, you got there. You all right?

Our viewers are, yeah. Our viewers are smart. I see you, I see you. Okay, you guys got me? But then the next night,

a lot more people. Saturday night, Saturday nights when it all goes. Because it was the last night. It was the last night. It was the last night. So he's making his big move. It's a big move.

This is when it all comes to a point. a point. This is when Lane catches on. This is when he escapes. This is when... Can I tell it from my perspective? Absolutely. Okay. So from my perspective, because this is my first night at the pool, because it's the last night. And I'm down there sitting. There's quite a few people. The ladies were there. The two younger ladies... Three... Two. Two of the younger ladies were there. one of which he was the one that was kind of eye in it's only a matter of time before he makes his way over to her direction but he's sitting in the pool playing music off his phone

and apparently they're trying to door dash a speaker remember prior to that he had gotten out of the hot tub and was like over there next to both of their chairs like talking to them I think when we got there he was he was just sitting in the pool playing music off his speaker because we had that side bet remember I was like there's no chance that he's not shirtless and talking to them and we got well i don't know the bet was that he'd even be there and i was just taking a long shot at one point he was sitting like talking to both of them while they were in

their like pool side recliners just like hanging out right but anyways he was like i'm gonna try to they were trying to get a speaker there they wanted a bluetooth speaker there so the music could be louder but no one had one yeah at one point he makes his way over in their direction and he's like oh my god i might fall in like right right next to her and she's like, no, you'll get me wet. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, Jesus Christ, guys, come on. Which, like, the same thing is, like, the same girl when I was trying to, like, network

and follow everybody I met there and just try to, like, make a connection. She was like, yeah, you can follow me. Just don't try to slide in my DMs. And then, like, prior to that, she's talking about, I wouldn't dream of it. Yeah, and then prior to that, she's like, oh, my guys, tell me I have a, fat ass so it's like guys like guys that hurt horse i don't know i don't know whatever but like just your guys yeah just to paint a picture of the type of girl we're talking about you realize what you said my guys um so at one point he was like i'm gonna again there's a cvs a stone's throw away

he's cast in a fish and pull with the steak on it into a pool of piranha he's like it's just sure he's uh i guess he's like i'm gonna go to cvs and get a bluetooth speaker which i don't know what anyone in the entire universe knows about CVS's, but... It's not dead. They have a severe lack of Bluetooth speakers. I think they typically don't carry Bluetooth speakers. What they do have there is a wide variety of condoms. Controceptives.

And, uh, yeah. They got like liquid IVs and or off brands of liquid IVs, known as drip drops. Trip drops. I'm dropping hard, man. So... Fuck, you dripping. He announces he's going to CVS to go get to. speaker, but it's nighttime in Phoenix.

It's got to be buddy system. Can you guess who went with him? Oh, yeah. The girl that... Lotex? Or where's she from? I don't know. The girl that was buying into all his facade.

I thought she was, to be fair, like, in the start of the week, I was kind of on his side because I was like, all right, she, because I, she had an accent, a southern accent. So I was like, all right, she's from Texas. Maybe they're making a connection. Right. It's just like... Nearby. Right. And then as the week went on, I was like, oh, no.

They're about 1,500 miles. The only connection that's going to happen is skin to skin. So she goes to go with him to CVS. And as they're leaving, everyone's like, oh, and then I go. You started that. Everybody. At this point, at this point, I'm fed up with it, kind of. So I just go.

A little bit inebriated. Probably buzzed at this. So I go, oh, they're fucking. I go, oh, they fuck in, they fucking. And everyone else kind of chimed soon, like, oh. And he's like going like, oh, like he's buying into it. He sticks his hand up like he's rocky. Right.

And then I yell, the condom section is in the back. I allege that you also said the bathroom is clean. You don't believe that. You don't buy into that. But I'm pretty positive you said that. I don't know. There was definitely something else. You said a third thing, and that could very well be what he said.

Maybe I did. I didn't whatever. Agreed to disagree. One of the guys in front of me goes, because I go, oh, they fucking. And then a guy in front of me goes, you know he's married with two kids, right? And then Lane goes, yeah, I also saw his ring finger moved to his pinky finger and then moved completely off by Thursday. So I also watched the ring on his finger moved to his pinky and then completely off by the weekend. So we weren't the only ones cluing into this behavior.

Oh, yeah. Which, by the way, like... We skipped over his story about the ride, too. It's like we eventually found out of us. Apparently, this guy got flashed. No, he didn't. Listen to this. Some chick said, because, like, in the Sunday story we told, like, they asked...

What day was it that he claimed it was after? Early on the week. It was Monday and Tuesday. Yeah, really early. I'll tell you, I'll tell you for an absolute fact, it was only going to happen on Friday or Saturday. But I wouldn't even say it. Say Friday. In the briefing, it was...

Maybe Saturday. Yes. Saturday was the only shot that had to be true. In the briefing, it was like, people would do anything for rides. And he was like, anything. So clearly... He's like anything? And they're like, why are you asking?

So clearly that meant like women were going to do things for a ride. Or men. Or men. Yeah, to him. Not to everybody. I don't want to be included. Use their bodies. Men use money.

No, okay. But what the first... point was, yeah, he just shows up, he's like, you have some chick flashes or flack me her tits. And we were like, what? And he was like, yeah, she was like, I'll flush you my tits for a ride. And he's like, no, I can't hurt. He was like, she said, can I get a ride?

He said, no. She said, I'll flash you my tits for a ride. He said, no. He's like, and then the girl allegedly said, I'll do it anyway. And just flashed her tits. Which at first. And then, hold on. And then he responded to that with, I told my wife.

this whole thing and now she's trying to get me to buy fake tits for her. I was like what? At first at face value early in the week, we hear that story and we're like, all right, rowdy girl, you know, whatever happens. Then after all the events with the other women happen, we start to piece together. It starts off with, damn, that's crazy and then divulges into that didn't happen. Yeah, and then it starts to like, we see the like him flirting with both of the women that were there and, you know, interve, you know, whatever.

He's taking his ring on. off at this point and then it's supposed to be like well he said this earlier in the week so we start to break it down and then we're like and now no this that never happened he's just full of shit yeah this guy's just trying to fuck it because when he told me that i did believe because i was like oh at first yeah i guess that's how it goes down at first i was like oh waste management you know flashing tits for rides like that makes sense you know whatever but what of the odds it was him yeah especially given that girl we saw sunday just walking around like like basically naked and I'm like all right like flashing tits for a ride like whatever did I'll see

her I wish no I would have followed her I would have just fell out of his car I would have followed her no okay um I think the last let's wrap it up let's wrap it have his angel I think all we have to talk oh yeah we always got arrested okay no we got to talk about a couple things Ricky fowler angel and Paris well okay Ricky foul Rick oh Paris okay okay oh Paris okay and then we can back. Okay. Paris Breezo. Sunday.

Ricky Fallow's easy. Yeah. Breeze over Ricky Bell. Yeah, yeah. So I'll just say Sunday when we got off with our morning shift, we were done. We found a nice spot to perch up by 17 green. Yep. We were making trips back and forth to the concession stand, which I went to the concession stand

to bought two hot dogs and two beers. Did you get a final count on how much you spent on Sunday? And it was $45. Total. I have no idea. I don't know. little over 200 books on Sunday. The beers were like $13 a pierce.

Yeah, it was $40. It was $40 each for two beers, and I think I took four, five trips up there. That adds a quick. We posted up on 17 Green, and we saw Ricky Fowler. We did, barely.

Well, I'll just say that. Can we edit the picture in, like, right here? I'm going to have to go back and listen to this episode, probably, and try to edit some shit in, but. Ricky Fowler. A solid picture. Okay.

There it is. So that's the Ricky. Proof that we saw them. Hopefully your saturation levels on your computer are good enough to see that orange. The funny part of the story is the picture that he just put up. The fact that we couldn't see. Just doubling down and making me edited in. We could not see him.

That was the funny part. All right. Now one to. So. Angel. Angel is first. Right. Okay. Okay.

So Sunday. Close over that. We get to the villa. a great place. Yeah, Sunday, basically we stayed Sunday night,

so we had to check out of our hotel that TPC provided. We checked into a different hotel, um, which was a villa,

which was sick as fuck. Awesome bill. It had a king size bed in the main level and a stairs leading up to a queen size bed with a fucking balcony. A loft with a balcony

and a queen size. A big ass L couch, a TV, everything, dishwasher. A fireplace? A log fireplace. And we're like, why does Phoenix,

Arizona have a fireplace. They had a mini golf course, a labyrinth, shuffleboard, arcade basketball, two pools. Tennis courts. There was a tennis court. Yeah. A basketball court we didn't see. Pickleball courts, a giant hot tub, a giant saltwater pool with a bar.

And we're like, oh my God, why can't we stay here longer? Poolside bar leaves a drinking, hot tub pool, hot tub, pool, back and forth, back and forth. And this is the Super Bowl. Super Bowl night. We're watching the Super Bowl in the hot tub. We're in the hot tub. One thing leads to another. I'm getting us buckets of beer.

The bartender's saying it's fine that we have open cans. We just have to pour them into cups. So there we are in the hot tub. Buckets of ice and beer. All of our beers are open and poured into cups. So we got a couple of closed ones because we haven't finished the buckets. Enter Angel. So he came out of the darkness.

From nowhere. I'm just sitting there and all of a sudden this guy just goes like, you guys can't have this here um this is like a hotel security guard it's a hotel security guard i got a piss so bad yeah go ahead go ahead you um can we talk about this without you okay so basically hotel security guard comes by and it's basically just like what you guys are doing is against the rules you can't just have these like closed cans or whatever in this right here and he's like i'm going to have to take these and he's like i'm going to have to take these and he's Well, I tell him that, like, the bartender said, like, it finds so long.

Well, the bartender said this, and he's basically like, no, no, nah, she gave us his bucket with six cans. It was like, you guys are cool to drink these unless you pour them into bottles or into cups. If you pour them into cups. Yeah, if you open them, pour them into cups and then set the empty bottles back in the bucket. He was like, I'm going to take this. And Ben quickly grabs, like, the two or three unopened cans. And he just goes, you're not taking these. Like, he basically was like.

Puppie guarding the unclosed beers. He's like, you're going to have to pry these beers out of my fucking. dead hands and Angel was like we could get the police involved he was talking about he he basically said the only way this was work is if we took these beers walked out poured them into these cups and then walked back into the gate

with the beers and the cups and I was when he started talking about police I was like everyone just needs to calm down these are against the rules you can't do this And then you bopped up You're like, I'm gonna go get the bartender I was like yeah I'm gonna go grab the bartender

We're gonna settle this And you taught me a play But that is the play So no one is going to get the bartender That said we could do this Ben's puppy guarding the unopened beers And I'm just saying We will do whatever needs to be done

We don't want you to get in trouble And we don't want to get in trouble The exchange of comments is I'm gonna go grab the bartender And the angel's like No Well I'm gonna go grab the police And we're like wait a minute

Like whoa whoa whoa We don't yeah hold on I was like, we don't want you to get in trouble. We don't want to get in trouble. We'll do whatever we need to do. We just need to figure this out. Nolan comes back with the bartender and she's essentially like, no, this is like a one-day only thing since the Super Bowl. They're allowed to sit here if they pour these into the cups.

And then he was getting all defensive like, I didn't know that. Like, don't get mad at me because I didn't know that type of deal. Which is like a weird thing to ask is like you came up pressing us. Yeah. With no explanation. You just threaten to call the fucking cops. I'm pissed. Like, I'm pissed off.

And then you're like, well, don't get mad at me. I didn't know. He's like, you're threatening to call the cops and you threaten to take my beer. That's strike two, buddy. No. That is, yeah. The fact that he was asking for forgiveness was crazy. He wasn't really asking for forgiveness.

He basically was just like, don't get mad at me. No, he was asking for forgiveness. Yeah. He was like, I didn't know. Like, oh, one day a year. Because he didn't. But why get mad at us and jump the gun and say, we're doing illegal thing.

when he hasn't even discussed this. Because that's what he thought. But I'm telling you that the bartender told us this. There was a miscommunication. Well, wait, let's not, let's not skip over this. We told them the bartender, I don't know, I was actually gone, so I don't know. But we told them the bartender said we can drink him here. And he's like, you guys aren't listening.

That's what he said. You guys aren't listening to me. I am against you completely. I think he was 100% in the wrong and pressing us without disgusting. And he should have got more beer out of it, to be honest. I agree that he was in the wrong. We did, but we should have got drinks for the night. That bucket.

Hold on, hold on. I agree that he was in the wrong. You asked for the half bucket was fucking hilarious. I don't know why I found that so funny, but you're like, well, can I do a half bucket for myself? And I was just like, what the fuck is that? Well, yeah, because you guys were blundering all week with the free shit. Like, I'm asking for free stuff. And he's like, whoa.

And I'm like, shut the fuck up. No. I'm getting free wings. I don't know why, but. I'm getting free everything. No, the free wings, we were all on, we all indulged in that. Yeah, I'm just, but I've never heard can I get a free half bucket? Because she offered to comp like three beers or something.

No, I did. But the half bucket to me was just the funniest. Just the term half bucket. Yeah, let me get a half bucket. I was just like, I'm just trying to win us free money, dude. No, I know. No, you're good. I'll, I'll just say, I do agree that he was wrong, but I think he, he wasn't.

actually sure that he was wrong he didn't know. No, but he should I don't think he was doing it maliciously. The exact second that we say the bartender just said this is fine. He should have went and asked her. Exactly. But then he escalated it to calling the cops which immediately made him love. That was a bluff.

But that was a bluff. Everything was. I don't know if it was a bluff. He was called. Well, I don't know. He was serious. If I don't grab the bartender, do you think he just keeps talking to us or do you think he calls the cops? I don't know. Depends how aggressive Ben gets with those unopened beer cans. I wasn't doing He was defending them and I wasn't going to let him give them up.

I was playing decent. The cops are coming that night if I don't grab the bartender. I think that he's 100% in the wrong. Well, I did. Yeah. No. If everything ended up fine. If he called the cops.

Everything ended up fine. And then we met Paris. Get into Paris. Okay, okay, okay. Let's close the story out. We went to bed drunk. We woke up drunk. We woke up drunk.

Took our fifth shit out of three guys in the bathroom. Which, can we get a. tally? Are we sure it was five? I took two. I took two. One. Okay, so it was five. Five shits for three guys in one bathroom in a 14 hour span. That thing was hurting. So we checked out of our hotel. Somebody took a shower in there too, didn't they? I did. Oh, I feel so bad. Why? Because that was after one of mine, and I think two of his and one of yours too. Sting you and I went. Are you so you shit?

Oh, okay. Jesus Christ. So we checked out of our hotel at 10 and our flight was at 4. So what do you do when you got six hours to kill? You go to the casino. You go to the fucking elder wand, aka the stick that talks, aka the talking stick.

The yapping brand. But you got to get there. So what do you do when you don't have a car? You get an Uber. So you get a Nuber. You get a Uber. You get a PERS. And my.

God, did we get the best Uber ride of the entire fucking trip in the form of a larger black woman named Paris? What's the analogy? You're just strip mining and you find diamonds. It's like the... We were digging for China and we found Paris. That's what happened. That's awesome. That's the intro clip.

Oh, my God. Oh. I'll be here on my goodness. No. I'm writing that down. That's the fucking intro clip. Oh, fuck. All right.

Preface this. Preface it. But let's start it off with. Ben and I are playing chess in the lobby late as fuck. Jake's loaded up. She probably thinks it's the only Jake taking this ride. Why would she think that? Because Ben and I are playing chess.

We walk out, we load our bags in. I'm being dad. And I'm like, come on, boy, go. All right, you got to get in the passenger seat. So she starts moving. your passenger seat back it's pressed way up into the dashboard she's like oh there's my comb

yeah so she moves it back there's a bunch of trash she's throwing it away fucking tossing it or whatever then she's like there's my hair comb I've been looking for that she like throws it in her glove box and jacobson and this is where the ride begins set the scene Jake's in the passenger seat

Ben and I are in the bag let me tell it from my perspective because you had the best perspective um she starts it off with do you guys have girlfriends and are they smaller? Well, this is like a mile into the trip. We're hanging out until then because she's like, she's sitting there. Oh, he said this and then you're like dying up there.

He said, oh, no. Well, I can't remember exactly how it started off. But we're like 10 minutes into the trip. Not even. We're like a mile down the road. Yeah. She goes, do you guys have girlfriends and are there smaller? Now, I'm not saying this maliciously, but in my mind.

mind, I thought she was being flirtatious and essentially asking, that's where I thought she was. Do you guys like big girls? Yeah. Like I said, she was a little bit heavier set and she was asking essentially if we were single. Shout out Paul. And then she proceeds to pull out three different pieces of lingerie. Expensive lingerie. That she, a piece. I don't know what lingerie goes for, but she ordered from a website in a a certain size that apparently didn't fit her and she said she proceeded to say i can't even get one titty in this thing so she was basically like i got this lingerie that won't fit me do you guys

have girlfriends and would they want them and we're like oh shit this none of us have entirely changed and none of us have ever ordered lingerie so we don't know yeah so each of us took one article um we swapped a little bit I had black you took black I ended up with the purple you had purple

ended up in goodwill Hey it turns out by the way I should have stuck with blue Really I got bitched at Not bitched at But we can turn it back if you want We'll talk about the soft eye

We'll talk about it We'll talk about it off air We'll talk about it off air I got a big day tomorrow So Oh my God I have a day involving lingerie tomorrow Yeah that's what I mean

Yeah Your fit? I don't know. Dude. She's, No, we're not. Just stop talking. I'm not ending that out.

So, so basically what happened was this then turned into the best Uber ride of our entire lives because I'm- By far. I'm doing crowd work as I do. I'm sitting in the front seat. I'm making her laugh. I'm saying funny shit.

Um, and then at one point she goes, hold on, hold on a second. Hold on a second, baby. And we're like, what? Who's she talking to you?

And then she goes, oh, my boyfriend on the phone. And she had an earpiece in her left ear. And she told us that her boyfriend is a truck driver. And he also has an earpiece in. So we've got two working class drivers that just sit on the phone with each other all day. And she's like, he's my best friend.

And we're like, that's what's up. Yeah. So they basically sit on the phone with each other all day and just chat. And so we're eating it up. She's eating it up. She's talking about you can give these to your girlfriend for Valentine's Day. She's like, I don't know what you had for Valentine's Day plans. And I was like, not this.

I was like, I was going to take my girlfriend to McDonald's. I'll tell you that right now. I was like, I'm going to take my girlfriend to McDonald's just joking. She's like, he said McDonald's. Oh, she was also like you could say, oh, yeah, because I was like, I was going to get my girlfriend a souvenir at the shop at TPC because we told her about what we were doing there. and I was like but the line is so fucking long and she's like well now you can say you got this there we were joking about saying we got lingerie at the TPC

and I was like talk about a hole in one she's like he said hole in one like she was dying like it was so funny when we were taking the picture you said you love when what you love when who says what you said oh and then we were like

we're going to the casino we're like we're going to the casino and she and she was like we asked her or what did we say? We said have you ever been to the talking stick?

And she's like, no. We're like, oh, do you not like to gamble? And she's like, no, I've just never been invited. And we're like, well, then fucking clock out. Let's go to the casino. And she's like, no. I would have actually gave her all my winnings from the talking stick

to come gamble with us. Dude. Had I known. Could you imagine if we were at a table? Yes, I was going to say, if I only knew that I was going to win 125 bucks, at the talking stick, I would have given her $125 to just come hang out

with us. So we're... She was that awesome. So we're going back and forth with her. It's worth every cent. Because like, you know she's going to hit Boston. We gave her a $30 too. There was basically not a moment of dead air, that entire

Uber ride. We were talking with her the whole time. Which is right. We were talking with her boy, Paul. She was like, my boyfriend Paul, because I was like, isn't getting lingerie for your girlfriend kind of selfish because you're basically like getting a present for yourself? And she's like, hold on. Paul wants to explain. And she put Paul on speaker and he basically gave us a class and why it's not

selfish to get your girlfriend, lingerie. That's a podcast topic for another day. But Paul gave us the whole rundown. And then you're like, I'm taking her to the McDonald's. And then she's like, well, I was joking. Well, yeah, yeah, I know. And she's like, oh, you say you're taking it to the McDonald's. And like, it's a great time. And she was like, I'm not going to the casino. I got to make my money. And I was like, well, you're going to make money there. Right. Like, nah, like, it was just from a hotel to a casino full of one-liners. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

She could have her own comedy special easily. Right. We gave her so much content. Dude, a crowdwork special with Paris is making her millions. Not, yeah, for real, not even like us, but like if she would have just, if we can get her in front of people. It's like, have you ever met a stranger that you know you'll never see again, but you wish you could somehow stay in contact with them? Yeah. That's what this interaction.

If I ever go back to Paris, Jesus Christ, to Phoenix, I'm going to, like, try to find a way to Uber with Paris. I'm just going to keep denying Uber's until I find her. Yeah, well, that, or, like, if I get her once, just, like, get her number and just request her everything. Right. And just, like, I know I'm not on Uber, but if you pick me up and take me here, I'll give you 50 bucks. Like, right. So, like we said, we, we ended up, we went to the talking stick to pass some time, which is a casino. $15 Uber, and probably gave her.

We get, it was a $50 Uber. It was a $200 tip. Or a 200% tip. Yeah. It was a $15 Uber and we gave her $30 tip. Yes. So, like, I would give her $30 to Uber meet everywhere in Phoenix if I could. Easily.

Every single time. Right. I wanted to be like the godmother of my child. I do too. I might just make her her mind. Like, make her. What? I'm not going to like that.

Paul's not going to like that. Paul. Uh, no. Me. She. Uh, Paul was the goat. No, but. If I have a kid, she's, I'm just going to put her down as a god parent.

Paris from Phoenix. First name, she's, she's not going to know, but, yeah. P from P. First name, Paris, last name, Uber driver. My kids are going to ask about her. Like, I haven't seen her in 30 years, but. All right. She's your goddamn God, buddy.

You best believe you. All right, let's wrap this up. After that, it was a good Uber back to the airport, a good plane ride back, and then. Well, want some money. Cracked that beer. Want some money. Once some money. Yeah.

Wait. really quick let's talk about how the dealer thought we might have been counting one a little bit at the first table took a break i ate some lunch we sat down on the second table after i met back up with them it was bened lost which i wanted to sit down and again and you were like i don't know and you're like okay i told i'd lay some money down i'd lay three hands down ben it sat out because he lost a little bit so it's me and jake at this point we're playing you know it's regular or whatever i go up a little bit so i pull out jake's still playing and then after you're playing like every once of the in a while.

You're sitting next to me. At first I was playing every hand because I said I'd pull up 45 bucks and I'd play. And after I played the couple of hands and I'd gone up maybe, I don't know, two or three hands, I pulled out and I was like, whatever, I made a little bit of money. But you kept playing and I was sitting there

with an empty table. I'm sitting there, I'm watching you, you're winning, you're winning, you're winning, you're winning. So I'm like, all right, whatever. I was out of burner. Yeah. And so I'm like, all right, whatever. I got to reset the shoot. So I sit down, I don't know, 30 or 40 bucks.

I sit down all of my winnings. Oh, you did? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. All of my winnings. I sit down all of my winnings. And this is after five or six hands, maybe. That you didn't play.

That I didn't play, that I'm just watching you. You randomly decided to jump in. Yeah, yeah, because I sit down when you sat down and I won the three straight hands. And I'm like, all right, I doubled my money. Like, I'm up. But then like, after I watch you win, win, win, win, win, I'm like, all right, he's going to lose this. So I'm like, all right, I'll buy him with all of my winnings. Like, at worst, I pull out even I played a little bit.

Right. So I sit down my 45 bucks. And I'm like, all right, give it to me. Blackjack. Fucking Blackjack. Just blackjack. Just out of nowhere. Just blackjack. And so I'm like, all right. And also, and I don't know if this was before or after that. It was after. It was after. It was right after. Or was it the same one? No, it was after because I'm pretty sure I was talking about side betting the two $5.00 chips I had on yours. Oh, okay. Blackjacked. Because I blackjacked with a three hands. So I won one and a half or whatever. one's randomly like after five hands just throws his chips in hits a blackjack and it goes okay i'm done betting and then i'm you know kind of losing like winning more than i'm losing and then at one point there's a side bet that is a dealer push um so if i push with the dealer if you push you win 10 times it's 10 times whatever i bet so i put like one chip down like a five dollar chip down on one i probably did what 20 25 hands maybe maybe 25 maybe 20 i think maybe like 15 20 let's say 15 15 i'll say 15 hands total 15 hands i did it once and the one time i did it it it's a dealer push so this guy's sitting next to me yeah this is literally a hand or two after my random buy-in blackjack

he random side bets a dealer push and wins it and the dealer literally said that seems a little suspicious. And I look up and I'm like looking at all the cameras. I don't know if you guys looked up. There's like 150 cameras. Like every like three square feet are cameras. Yeah.

And I was like no, no, no. And I ended up like I was going up and down a little bit. I was mainly going up at one point. My last hand I bet like a $70 hand hit a nine and an ace for 20. and hit. And I was like, I gotta get out of here. I didn't hit. Like, I won the hand.

I mean, I won the hand. Nine ace, got a 20, one. Won the hand. And then I was like, I gotta get out of here. And I was like, coloring down, coloring down. And I just like, when I walked out with like 250, I think, something like that. Like 120 profit though, right? Something like that.

Yeah. So you and I won about the same. So I got a piece so bad. So let's wrap this up. I also do too. So, yeah, so we, anyways. We had a good time with talking stick. Uber to the airport.

Uber to the airport. Uber home. Flew home. Flew home. Flew home. Flew home. Flew home. I watched Shawshank Redemption on the flight home.

It was a little bumpy on the way home. Shout out Abby for giving us a free. Shout out Benz Broad for taking us there and taking us home. Great TGA tournament. Great people. Fun people, even though we made a thought differently. Like I said. Yeah, networked great, learned a lot of stuff.

Part of the stuff back to our course. and just had a good time, yeah. I'll say part of the reason why I didn't want to leave is just because of the people I met. Like, I wanted to keep working with him. I would say part of the reason I didn't want to leave was just because I was actively doing the stuff I can't do in the off season, mowing greens and filling bits.

And, yeah. Great time, great people, great learning experience, great networking, everything. I mean, it was a good time. So. I think that's pretty much going to do it. That's a two-hour app, almost on the dot. Two hours and one minute.

We finished 30 beers. Are you shitting me? Or whatever that pack was. You put all 24 in there? Yeah, I mean, God damn it. We won't.

There's 15 cans on the table. All right. Thank you guys all for watching. The official grass daddies. Official grass daddies, I'm so proud of you guys for finally making it there. I think you've earned it for setting up for the waste management. I'm officially licensed too.

You are officially licensed, Spratech. Spotify and Apple Podcast for audio only. Go follow us on TikTok for funny Grass Daddy's clips. Subscribe to us on YouTube if you want to watch us. Thank you guys all for watching and listening. Until next time. Until next time.

Until next time, if you ever get the chance to volunteer for a PGA event, do it. Do it without even questioning. And ask for angels. Guard your bees.